25 Comforting Phrases That Are Actually HURTFUL
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Date: 2023-09-21
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Comments and reviews: 20
Batman
Accurate Timestamps
1. Everything happens for a reason 0: 23
2. You'll get over it eventually 0: 31
3. Don't worry, I know how you feel 0: 38
4. Just stay positive 0: 46
5. Time heals all wounds 0: 52
6. You're so strong, you'll be fine 1: 01
7. It could be worse 1: 07
8. I know exactly how you should handle this 1: 13
9. Just think happy thoughts 1: 23
10. You're overacting 1: 30
11. At least you're not alone in this 1: 37
12. You should be grateful for what you have 1: 44
13. Just let it go 1: 51
14. I told you so 1: 57
15. You're too sensitive 2: 03
16. You'll understand when you're older 2: 09
17. Don't be so negative 2: 16
18. You're being too emotional 2: 23
19. Why can't you just move on 2: 28
20. Things will get better soon 2: 36
21. It's not that big of a deal 2: 42
22. Just be thankful it's not worse 2: 48
23. Stop dwelling on it 2: 57
24. You need to toughen up 3: 03
25. You are making a mountain out of a molehill 3: 09
Keep updating your Psychology knowledge guys
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Accurate Timestamps
1. Everything happens for a reason 0: 23
2. You'll get over it eventually 0: 31
3. Don't worry, I know how you feel 0: 38
4. Just stay positive 0: 46
5. Time heals all wounds 0: 52
6. You're so strong, you'll be fine 1: 01
7. It could be worse 1: 07
8. I know exactly how you should handle this 1: 13
9. Just think happy thoughts 1: 23
10. You're overacting 1: 30
11. At least you're not alone in this 1: 37
12. You should be grateful for what you have 1: 44
13. Just let it go 1: 51
14. I told you so 1: 57
15. You're too sensitive 2: 03
16. You'll understand when you're older 2: 09
17. Don't be so negative 2: 16
18. You're being too emotional 2: 23
19. Why can't you just move on 2: 28
20. Things will get better soon 2: 36
21. It's not that big of a deal 2: 42
22. Just be thankful it's not worse 2: 48
23. Stop dwelling on it 2: 57
24. You need to toughen up 3: 03
25. You are making a mountain out of a molehill 3: 09
Keep updating your Psychology knowledge guys
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Peeps
Just for someone who doesn't want to go through the entire video:
1. Everything happens for a reason
2. You'll get over it eventually
3. Don't worry. I know how you feel
4. Just stay positive
5. Time heals all wounds
6. You're so strong. You'll be fine
7. It could be worse
8. I know how you should handle it
9. Just stay happy
10. You're overreacting
11. At least you're not alone in this
12. You should be grateful for what you have
13. Just let it go
14. I told you so
15. You're too sensitive
16. You'll understand when you're older
17. Don't be so negative
18. You're being too emotional
19. Why can't you just move on?
20. Things will get better soon
21. It's not that big of a deal
22. Just be thankful it's not worse
23. Stop dwelling on it
24. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill
25. You need to toughen up
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Just for someone who doesn't want to go through the entire video:
1. Everything happens for a reason
2. You'll get over it eventually
3. Don't worry. I know how you feel
4. Just stay positive
5. Time heals all wounds
6. You're so strong. You'll be fine
7. It could be worse
8. I know how you should handle it
9. Just stay happy
10. You're overreacting
11. At least you're not alone in this
12. You should be grateful for what you have
13. Just let it go
14. I told you so
15. You're too sensitive
16. You'll understand when you're older
17. Don't be so negative
18. You're being too emotional
19. Why can't you just move on?
20. Things will get better soon
21. It's not that big of a deal
22. Just be thankful it's not worse
23. Stop dwelling on it
24. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill
25. You need to toughen up
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GemR
I can see what Psych2go is trying to do here but they really needed to provide an alternative to these phrases to use in a scenario.
Some of these are hurtful for sure but others are more grey area. I'm definitely guilty of saying some of them but it's HOW they've been used that matters the most.
For example after comforting and listening to friends being their shoulder to cry on and letting them know their feelings are valid and it's ok; then it is alright to bring in some perspective so they know that yes things could have been worse, they will survive this, they can learn from the mistakes and then can move on in time.
The HOW things are said is so important.
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I can see what Psych2go is trying to do here but they really needed to provide an alternative to these phrases to use in a scenario.
Some of these are hurtful for sure but others are more grey area. I'm definitely guilty of saying some of them but it's HOW they've been used that matters the most.
For example after comforting and listening to friends being their shoulder to cry on and letting them know their feelings are valid and it's ok; then it is alright to bring in some perspective so they know that yes things could have been worse, they will survive this, they can learn from the mistakes and then can move on in time.
The HOW things are said is so important.
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Reese's
Today my sister said to me think positively quit being negative after I broke down in tears because I'm trying to move and the new apartment I'm moving in had changed my move-in date four times already. So it's been 3 months that I've been sitting here packed up and waiting to move and I've been in tears because they keep changing my move in date and she tells me to stay positive and quit thinking negatively, I have not been thinking negatively but I get upset because my move in date keeps changing, so that really hurt when she said that because in no way shape or form was I being negative. So this video really helped
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Today my sister said to me think positively quit being negative after I broke down in tears because I'm trying to move and the new apartment I'm moving in had changed my move-in date four times already. So it's been 3 months that I've been sitting here packed up and waiting to move and I've been in tears because they keep changing my move in date and she tells me to stay positive and quit thinking negatively, I have not been thinking negatively but I get upset because my move in date keeps changing, so that really hurt when she said that because in no way shape or form was I being negative. So this video really helped
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Mudkip
Although I agree with this video in it s message, I d like to add context to specific scenarios.
Depending on specific situations and circumstances, some of these phrases need to be communicated. Obviously do not use a phrase like this when someone is clinically depressed or recently lost someone dear to them. But in the context of someone who may be a constant doomer, some of these phrases can bring a silver-lining to their catastrophic gloomy frame of mind.
Ive had friends or loved ones who have been very pessimistic. Sometimes they can benefit from a aww c mon it s not too bad buddy.
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Although I agree with this video in it s message, I d like to add context to specific scenarios.
Depending on specific situations and circumstances, some of these phrases need to be communicated. Obviously do not use a phrase like this when someone is clinically depressed or recently lost someone dear to them. But in the context of someone who may be a constant doomer, some of these phrases can bring a silver-lining to their catastrophic gloomy frame of mind.
Ive had friends or loved ones who have been very pessimistic. Sometimes they can benefit from a aww c mon it s not too bad buddy.
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Liliana
My friend is going through a really rough time right now. I tell him, I have no idea how you feel. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. But I'm here for you. We can figure this out and get through this together. I always remind him I'm there for him and his feelings are valid. He has to handle this himself but if he needs someone to lean on I'm here, day or night.
Let people have their feelings. Just be there for them. Listen to them. Don't be dismissive. You can make a huge difference in somone's life by simply being empathatic and compassionate.
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My friend is going through a really rough time right now. I tell him, I have no idea how you feel. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. But I'm here for you. We can figure this out and get through this together. I always remind him I'm there for him and his feelings are valid. He has to handle this himself but if he needs someone to lean on I'm here, day or night.
Let people have their feelings. Just be there for them. Listen to them. Don't be dismissive. You can make a huge difference in somone's life by simply being empathatic and compassionate.
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Kennelkrazed
While I agree that some of these phrases can be hurtful, it kind of makes me feel like we are just looking for reasons to simply not be happy at all because no matter what anyone says, it hurts our feelings. You may as well not bother comforting anyone because they will takse offense to anything and everything you say because they feel you are dimishing their feelings. You are literally venting your feelings to someone for validation and at the same time shutting down the support. Not sure what the lesson is here, just feels like everyone nowadays lives in self-pity.
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While I agree that some of these phrases can be hurtful, it kind of makes me feel like we are just looking for reasons to simply not be happy at all because no matter what anyone says, it hurts our feelings. You may as well not bother comforting anyone because they will takse offense to anything and everything you say because they feel you are dimishing their feelings. You are literally venting your feelings to someone for validation and at the same time shutting down the support. Not sure what the lesson is here, just feels like everyone nowadays lives in self-pity.
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Sunkistbabe
I feel like a lot of the phrases weren't really dismissive phrases and not comforting phrases and also it seems like any attempt people would use to try to get the person to think more positively about their situation is considered dismissive of pain. Maybe the video should have offered better phrases to use instead of labeling everything as hurtful comforting phrases. Oh I also think the video should acknowledge that it's very subjective to whether or not these phrases would all be considered hurtful and offer a list of possible statements to use would be helpful.
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I feel like a lot of the phrases weren't really dismissive phrases and not comforting phrases and also it seems like any attempt people would use to try to get the person to think more positively about their situation is considered dismissive of pain. Maybe the video should have offered better phrases to use instead of labeling everything as hurtful comforting phrases. Oh I also think the video should acknowledge that it's very subjective to whether or not these phrases would all be considered hurtful and offer a list of possible statements to use would be helpful.
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Tsunderaboot
Some of the phrases (especially, the ones that sounds more uplifting like stay positive and you'll get over it eventually) were told to me by a friend who's comforting me and I didn't realize that her words could come off as being dismissive ( I won't fault her, though. I must have heard many of the more obviouly hurtful phrases growing up. I do admit I may've used some of them w/o realizing how it could affect the other person. I do know how important it is to hear someone out and not minimize their issues.
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Some of the phrases (especially, the ones that sounds more uplifting like stay positive and you'll get over it eventually) were told to me by a friend who's comforting me and I didn't realize that her words could come off as being dismissive ( I won't fault her, though. I must have heard many of the more obviouly hurtful phrases growing up. I do admit I may've used some of them w/o realizing how it could affect the other person. I do know how important it is to hear someone out and not minimize their issues.
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Illuminati
The #1 comforting thing that is dismissive and hurtful to tell people imo is it will be ok as they likely already know the chances of things turning out fine or not and it s not like you can really ensure that they will. I prefer to go with something along the lines of it s ok to be -insert feeling here-, I am here with you should you want or need it.
Validates their experience and emotions while assuring them they have someone there in whatever capacity they are comfortable with on their terms.
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The #1 comforting thing that is dismissive and hurtful to tell people imo is it will be ok as they likely already know the chances of things turning out fine or not and it s not like you can really ensure that they will. I prefer to go with something along the lines of it s ok to be -insert feeling here-, I am here with you should you want or need it.
Validates their experience and emotions while assuring them they have someone there in whatever capacity they are comfortable with on their terms.
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DaDMonDCB
I've only used #3 with my friends. Not the don't worry part, but the Ooh, I've had that happen to me, too, and I know that sucks sorta thing. At least so far, that's the only way I've tried to use it.
Bigger surprise is how many of these I was raised to say to myself, and some that I still do. 7, 12, 13, and 22 are common reactions to my own pain.
And plenty more were common remarks by family that didn't help at all.
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I've only used #3 with my friends. Not the don't worry part, but the Ooh, I've had that happen to me, too, and I know that sucks sorta thing. At least so far, that's the only way I've tried to use it.
Bigger surprise is how many of these I was raised to say to myself, and some that I still do. 7, 12, 13, and 22 are common reactions to my own pain.
And plenty more were common remarks by family that didn't help at all.
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Sienna
Yes, I could understand why some of these phrases aren t really comforting. But at the same time, I don t see anything wrong with some of these. Like, just be positive. It could be worse. At least you re not alone. Be thankful it s not worse. And some of the others, I just don t see anything wrong with them. Now the whole year being too sensitive, yeah. I could understand why that one would be looked at as being an asshole.
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Yes, I could understand why some of these phrases aren t really comforting. But at the same time, I don t see anything wrong with some of these. Like, just be positive. It could be worse. At least you re not alone. Be thankful it s not worse. And some of the others, I just don t see anything wrong with them. Now the whole year being too sensitive, yeah. I could understand why that one would be looked at as being an asshole.
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Ashley's
Yes and they still ask Why don't you open up to me anymore?
People told me these and now I understand that many people are like that and because the most of people don't understand so in the future I decided I want to be a therapist so I can help them, not whit these hurtfull words, whit words that could help them and heal them. No body deserves to be hurt neither physical nor mental.
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Yes and they still ask Why don't you open up to me anymore?
People told me these and now I understand that many people are like that and because the most of people don't understand so in the future I decided I want to be a therapist so I can help them, not whit these hurtfull words, whit words that could help them and heal them. No body deserves to be hurt neither physical nor mental.
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Noy
this is the reason why I don't feel comfortable being a sponsre in my 12 steps program. while there are obvious things like don't dwell or you're too sensitive which obviously hurt and shouldn't been said since the person in need cannot control those things - I don't understand whats wrong with saying time heals or I've been there. I might as well just shut up and don't risk hurting anybody
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this is the reason why I don't feel comfortable being a sponsre in my 12 steps program. while there are obvious things like don't dwell or you're too sensitive which obviously hurt and shouldn't been said since the person in need cannot control those things - I don't understand whats wrong with saying time heals or I've been there. I might as well just shut up and don't risk hurting anybody
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Ariadna
0: 38 - didn't know this was hurtful, I often say this to my friends, and now I think I should really stop doing that
1: 00 - the best teacher ever told me that when I was feeling down and it acually did make me feel much better, though I do understand how it might be hurtful
1: 07 - this is something I always tell myself when any problem accrues, guess I should rethink my ways
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0: 38 - didn't know this was hurtful, I often say this to my friends, and now I think I should really stop doing that
1: 00 - the best teacher ever told me that when I was feeling down and it acually did make me feel much better, though I do understand how it might be hurtful
1: 07 - this is something I always tell myself when any problem accrues, guess I should rethink my ways
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Chalima
I haven't watched all the videos recently so I don't know if this voice appeared before - but definitely hearing it today was so nice, such a warm and soothing voice.
That being said, of course the video is only a small collection of phrases, but for me, the pace of the video was too fast. It felt kinda rushed, which felt like the opposite to the actually very chill voice.
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I haven't watched all the videos recently so I don't know if this voice appeared before - but definitely hearing it today was so nice, such a warm and soothing voice.
That being said, of course the video is only a small collection of phrases, but for me, the pace of the video was too fast. It felt kinda rushed, which felt like the opposite to the actually very chill voice.
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Андрей
Tbh it feels like it is just not possible to actually comfort the person in an appropriate way, because moral pain just unconditionally sucks, and all our comforting templates are built around saying yeah, kind of sucks to suck, it will probably get better some day. And there is nothing more to say when the pain is genuine and you cannot directly remove the cause of it.
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Tbh it feels like it is just not possible to actually comfort the person in an appropriate way, because moral pain just unconditionally sucks, and all our comforting templates are built around saying yeah, kind of sucks to suck, it will probably get better some day. And there is nothing more to say when the pain is genuine and you cannot directly remove the cause of it.
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Brandon
Not going to lie, I use some of these and I just wish there was a video that explains what to say instead because my intention isnt meant to dismiss them, I just want to be able to support them and let them know I am listening, because im very string willed about alot of things that people find uncomfortable and I realise that this is hurting me socially more then anything
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Not going to lie, I use some of these and I just wish there was a video that explains what to say instead because my intention isnt meant to dismiss them, I just want to be able to support them and let them know I am listening, because im very string willed about alot of things that people find uncomfortable and I realise that this is hurting me socially more then anything
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Evendaruil
Everything does happen for a reason. Especially from a spiritual point of view. Saying it is hurtful is not true. It brings hope to those who understand the meaning of it. There is a lesson in everything. Always. it's just not always instantly clear why but with time we can always reveal the meaning. Saying this is hurtful is taking away hope, now that's hurtful.
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Everything does happen for a reason. Especially from a spiritual point of view. Saying it is hurtful is not true. It brings hope to those who understand the meaning of it. There is a lesson in everything. Always. it's just not always instantly clear why but with time we can always reveal the meaning. Saying this is hurtful is taking away hope, now that's hurtful.
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Paul
If my emotional state had been really bad, literally all of these lines would hurt me even more.
I would think like:
Don't dare you to act like you know what I have been through.
You have no idea how I feel.
I hid my feelings for a whole year, I never laughed, I had no one to talk to. Now that I show my feelings, you want me to hide them!
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If my emotional state had been really bad, literally all of these lines would hurt me even more.
I would think like:
Don't dare you to act like you know what I have been through.
You have no idea how I feel.
I hid my feelings for a whole year, I never laughed, I had no one to talk to. Now that I show my feelings, you want me to hide them!
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