Signs They're In Love with the Idea of You & Not the Real You
video description
Date: 2024-05-19
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 20
ElPaume1
Guys, I just had to share this experience I had recently. It's crazy how someone can fall head over heels in love, not with the real you, but with the idea they've constructed in their mind about who you are. It feels amazing at first, like you're on cloud nine, but deep down, you know it's not sustainable.
I realized that it's important to be true to yourself and not get caught up in someone else's fantasy version of you. It's crucial to find someone who loves and accepts you for who you genuinely are, flaws and all. Trust me, I've been there, and it can be a painful journey of self-discovery.
So, my life lesson from all of this is to always seek genuine connections and love that's based on reality, not on illusions. Don't settle for someone who loves the idea they have of you; hold out for someone who loves the authentic you. It's worth the wait, and it will lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship. Stay true to yourself!
Onto the story:
Be warned, this is long, and I mean it took me a long time to write this:
There was this girl, let's call her Emily, and we had a whirlwind romance. We met in our math class and instantly hit it off. We bonded over shared laughter and deep conversations, emotional support, etc.
One thing I noticed early on was how Emily seemed to have this idealized version of me in her mind. She would often expect me to be this perfect math whiz, which was a bit overwhelming. I tried my best to live up to her expectations, but it started to create tension between us.
Despite this, we decided to start dating. Our connection felt strong, and we genuinely cared for each other. However, over time, I began to realize that Emily's love was more for the idea of me rather than who I truly was. She seemed more invested in the image she had created than in understanding and accepting my true self.
This realization weighed heavily on our relationship, and eventually, we reached a breaking point. We both realized that the love we had wasn't sustainable because it was based on illusions rather than reality. It was a difficult decision, but we chose to part ways and pursue our own paths
--> In the course of our relationship, Emily confided in me about the challenges she faced at home, including issues of love, ignorance, and abuse. It was heartbreaking to witness her pain. I realized that her idealized view of me was partly rooted in a longing for love and stability, seeking an escape from her difficult circumstances. This experience taught me the importance of seeking genuine connections based on mutual understanding and respect. Love alone cannot fix deep-seated issues, and both individuals must be committed to their own healing and growth within a healthy relationship.
reply
Guys, I just had to share this experience I had recently. It's crazy how someone can fall head over heels in love, not with the real you, but with the idea they've constructed in their mind about who you are. It feels amazing at first, like you're on cloud nine, but deep down, you know it's not sustainable.
I realized that it's important to be true to yourself and not get caught up in someone else's fantasy version of you. It's crucial to find someone who loves and accepts you for who you genuinely are, flaws and all. Trust me, I've been there, and it can be a painful journey of self-discovery.
So, my life lesson from all of this is to always seek genuine connections and love that's based on reality, not on illusions. Don't settle for someone who loves the idea they have of you; hold out for someone who loves the authentic you. It's worth the wait, and it will lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship. Stay true to yourself!
Onto the story:
Be warned, this is long, and I mean it took me a long time to write this:
There was this girl, let's call her Emily, and we had a whirlwind romance. We met in our math class and instantly hit it off. We bonded over shared laughter and deep conversations, emotional support, etc.
One thing I noticed early on was how Emily seemed to have this idealized version of me in her mind. She would often expect me to be this perfect math whiz, which was a bit overwhelming. I tried my best to live up to her expectations, but it started to create tension between us.
Despite this, we decided to start dating. Our connection felt strong, and we genuinely cared for each other. However, over time, I began to realize that Emily's love was more for the idea of me rather than who I truly was. She seemed more invested in the image she had created than in understanding and accepting my true self.
This realization weighed heavily on our relationship, and eventually, we reached a breaking point. We both realized that the love we had wasn't sustainable because it was based on illusions rather than reality. It was a difficult decision, but we chose to part ways and pursue our own paths
--> In the course of our relationship, Emily confided in me about the challenges she faced at home, including issues of love, ignorance, and abuse. It was heartbreaking to witness her pain. I realized that her idealized view of me was partly rooted in a longing for love and stability, seeking an escape from her difficult circumstances. This experience taught me the importance of seeking genuine connections based on mutual understanding and respect. Love alone cannot fix deep-seated issues, and both individuals must be committed to their own healing and growth within a healthy relationship.
reply
kyochann
I think my current bf is in love with the idea of me but not the real me. he keeps saying things like I am not the person I am when he first know me, and hate it when I have a temper. I've been tried to tell him that this is the real me, but he keeps telling me If you really love me, you would never be so angry or impatient like that and he also keep saying things like I know there's girls who REALLY love their bf would never do that He even tries to control my friends group, asking me to delete all my male friends and some female friends too just because they drink. He also always try to bring up the way I'm handling stuff, if it's not his way, then its abnormal way. He think that that's not how he would handle it so I'm not doing it incorrectly and he will keep saying it's my fault that we are in a fight because he just can't accept the way I'm handling stuff.
Tbh this relationship is killing me. I know people are going to say just leave him! But everything just went too far to give it up now. I deleted my friends for him, cut ties and changed everything. He's all I have left. I'm in love with this guy because I am able to accept all the bads and good in him. but he couldn't.
I hope someone can tell me how to move on from him cause honestly being with him rn is slowly killing myself.
reply
I think my current bf is in love with the idea of me but not the real me. he keeps saying things like I am not the person I am when he first know me, and hate it when I have a temper. I've been tried to tell him that this is the real me, but he keeps telling me If you really love me, you would never be so angry or impatient like that and he also keep saying things like I know there's girls who REALLY love their bf would never do that He even tries to control my friends group, asking me to delete all my male friends and some female friends too just because they drink. He also always try to bring up the way I'm handling stuff, if it's not his way, then its abnormal way. He think that that's not how he would handle it so I'm not doing it incorrectly and he will keep saying it's my fault that we are in a fight because he just can't accept the way I'm handling stuff.
Tbh this relationship is killing me. I know people are going to say just leave him! But everything just went too far to give it up now. I deleted my friends for him, cut ties and changed everything. He's all I have left. I'm in love with this guy because I am able to accept all the bads and good in him. but he couldn't.
I hope someone can tell me how to move on from him cause honestly being with him rn is slowly killing myself.
reply
tishie42
This went 2 ways for me. I was diagnosed borderline later in life but earlier in life i attracted people who loved yhe idea of me because I was mirroring them unconsciously and disassociation during any upsets made me seem docile. I seemed perfect. Too good to be true. Because I was. And then they would only point out any little fault and my fear of abandonment would kick in. And then the rollercoaster would begin. I thought i was a narcissist for a while i thought i was a monster. But i wasnt doing any of the manipulating and i didnt hoover people or lie about how i would behave. I just had no healthy boundaries. I spent a long time single and in therapy. And i joined a recovery group to hear other struggles qnd i didnt feel so alone.
reply
This went 2 ways for me. I was diagnosed borderline later in life but earlier in life i attracted people who loved yhe idea of me because I was mirroring them unconsciously and disassociation during any upsets made me seem docile. I seemed perfect. Too good to be true. Because I was. And then they would only point out any little fault and my fear of abandonment would kick in. And then the rollercoaster would begin. I thought i was a narcissist for a while i thought i was a monster. But i wasnt doing any of the manipulating and i didnt hoover people or lie about how i would behave. I just had no healthy boundaries. I spent a long time single and in therapy. And i joined a recovery group to hear other struggles qnd i didnt feel so alone.
reply
psych2go
i dunno who they r referring to - but u know the real intention of them is to always craft a image by using sympathy. first when she was just faking her personality i was like shes somehat like me just a playful girl to impress even though her atitute and personality was so good and luked honest but then i realised all this was just to plant an idea of them having feelings then suddenly change which is fine but when u dig and analyse deep enough even the initial feelings and convo was all setup like a trap to teach me a lesson or anway controlled by some external force which is my fam. so they intend to do and then when u get fooled they will put blame on u.
reply
i dunno who they r referring to - but u know the real intention of them is to always craft a image by using sympathy. first when she was just faking her personality i was like shes somehat like me just a playful girl to impress even though her atitute and personality was so good and luked honest but then i realised all this was just to plant an idea of them having feelings then suddenly change which is fine but when u dig and analyse deep enough even the initial feelings and convo was all setup like a trap to teach me a lesson or anway controlled by some external force which is my fam. so they intend to do and then when u get fooled they will put blame on u.
reply
StormyHotwolf88
I think I realized I loved the idea of my last boyfriend because out of the blue, he started to quiz me about facts about himself. I couldn't answer some of them. I was rather confused and disturbed about it. His point was that I had him on a pedestal and didn't actually see him. I argued that I accepted him and all his flaws, that they didn't matter to me. I was confused on why he would reject someone that loved him as deeply as I did. All I wanted from him was to tell me that he wanted me to always be at his side and it never happened.
The next one, obviously I serve some fantasy of his. I'm not as happy and time is just passing by.
reply
I think I realized I loved the idea of my last boyfriend because out of the blue, he started to quiz me about facts about himself. I couldn't answer some of them. I was rather confused and disturbed about it. His point was that I had him on a pedestal and didn't actually see him. I argued that I accepted him and all his flaws, that they didn't matter to me. I was confused on why he would reject someone that loved him as deeply as I did. All I wanted from him was to tell me that he wanted me to always be at his side and it never happened.
The next one, obviously I serve some fantasy of his. I'm not as happy and time is just passing by.
reply
doraemon6054
I think I was in love with the idea of him. Its so problematic like I had crush on a guy I saw 2 weeks ago and we were both strangers to each other, i find him good looking and thats the main reason I had a crush. Anyways I started creating scenarios about him and I got attached to the version of him I have created. I know there is no chance for us to being together and I am sure that he don't feel the same way because I am not pretty. Now I am suffering, I want to stop thinking about him every time, I can't even concentrate on my studies and daily life activities.
reply
I think I was in love with the idea of him. Its so problematic like I had crush on a guy I saw 2 weeks ago and we were both strangers to each other, i find him good looking and thats the main reason I had a crush. Anyways I started creating scenarios about him and I got attached to the version of him I have created. I know there is no chance for us to being together and I am sure that he don't feel the same way because I am not pretty. Now I am suffering, I want to stop thinking about him every time, I can't even concentrate on my studies and daily life activities.
reply
chrisbonilla6836
Should've realized this early on but I was naive to think they were being real with me. if you come across hard times and they don't care to truly communicate, they push your boundaries while making you feel like you've done something wrong, and you gotta keep reminding them that your relationship isn't some romance anime where things are so smooth and carefree, just walk away. Save yourself any further heartache because trying to rationalize stuff will make it harder for you in the long run.
reply
Should've realized this early on but I was naive to think they were being real with me. if you come across hard times and they don't care to truly communicate, they push your boundaries while making you feel like you've done something wrong, and you gotta keep reminding them that your relationship isn't some romance anime where things are so smooth and carefree, just walk away. Save yourself any further heartache because trying to rationalize stuff will make it harder for you in the long run.
reply
averyball6825
I had a girlfriend of 4 years. We trauma bonded and thought we were going to get married. We were definitely ignoring some red flags in the relationship and this is exactly what we said to each other and why why broke it off. We loved the idea of each other. The comfort, the safety, the memories. In reality we had very different values so it wouldn’t have worked out too well
reply
I had a girlfriend of 4 years. We trauma bonded and thought we were going to get married. We were definitely ignoring some red flags in the relationship and this is exactly what we said to each other and why why broke it off. We loved the idea of each other. The comfort, the safety, the memories. In reality we had very different values so it wouldn’t have worked out too well
reply
Sonicfalcon16
I once misunderstood friendship for love on accident but my friend forgave me. The one I ended up with a relationship with was my NSFW artist when we were just talking about things in general and eventually she felt conflicted that she can't be that for me and how I was the only bright light in her dark world and I accepted her feelings and she was so happy. We're doing great
reply
I once misunderstood friendship for love on accident but my friend forgave me. The one I ended up with a relationship with was my NSFW artist when we were just talking about things in general and eventually she felt conflicted that she can't be that for me and how I was the only bright light in her dark world and I accepted her feelings and she was so happy. We're doing great
reply
Fanaticalight
This fantasy-like thinking whether it be you or your partner(s) in a relationship could seriously debilitate your life in the long-term due to the consequences. Don't get caught up in the trap of trying to please their wants and needs, otherwise it'll cost you more than your feelings and mental health. Your vibe attracts your tribe, don't try to force an idea on people!
reply
This fantasy-like thinking whether it be you or your partner(s) in a relationship could seriously debilitate your life in the long-term due to the consequences. Don't get caught up in the trap of trying to please their wants and needs, otherwise it'll cost you more than your feelings and mental health. Your vibe attracts your tribe, don't try to force an idea on people!
reply
jamisonburton7598
I was going though a transition period in my life and thought I was ready for a relationship. The girl I started going out with was great, but I found myself pining for her affection. Looking back at it, I was idealizing her and not getting to know her. She turned me down after a couple dates, which hurt. But it was probably better for her.
reply
I was going though a transition period in my life and thought I was ready for a relationship. The girl I started going out with was great, but I found myself pining for her affection. Looking back at it, I was idealizing her and not getting to know her. She turned me down after a couple dates, which hurt. But it was probably better for her.
reply
noobzito2
Timestamp!
-0: 45 When will my reflection show.
-1: 16 Approval seeking behaviours
-1: 43 Everything in common
-2: 15 Whirlwind romance
-2: 48 On the rebound
-3: 12 Unreallistic expectations
-3: 47 Denial and disappointment
-4: 22 Out of the comfort zone
-5: 00 Conceal, don't feel
-5: 34 Empty conversations
reply
Timestamp!
-0: 45 When will my reflection show.
-1: 16 Approval seeking behaviours
-1: 43 Everything in common
-2: 15 Whirlwind romance
-2: 48 On the rebound
-3: 12 Unreallistic expectations
-3: 47 Denial and disappointment
-4: 22 Out of the comfort zone
-5: 00 Conceal, don't feel
-5: 34 Empty conversations
reply
user-fs8ob2cl5g
Psych2go truly loves real people. This is how I understand Your commitment in doing such high-value videos. Your warm voices are for certain a very strong catalyser in the efficiency of the connection You create with Your audience. But the true strenght of Yours is probably that You really value people. Keep it up and Thanks a lot.
reply
Psych2go truly loves real people. This is how I understand Your commitment in doing such high-value videos. Your warm voices are for certain a very strong catalyser in the efficiency of the connection You create with Your audience. But the true strenght of Yours is probably that You really value people. Keep it up and Thanks a lot.
reply
the-hashtag-girl
Timestamps:
0: 45 When will my reflection show
1: 15 Approval Seeking Behaviors
1: 45 Everything in Common
2: 14 Whirlwind Romance
2: 47 On the Rebound
3: 13 Unrealistic Expectations
3: 46 Denial and Disappointment
4: 22 Out of the Comfort Zone
5: 00 Conceal, Don’t Feel
5: 35 Empty Conversations
reply
Timestamps:
0: 45 When will my reflection show
1: 15 Approval Seeking Behaviors
1: 45 Everything in Common
2: 14 Whirlwind Romance
2: 47 On the Rebound
3: 13 Unrealistic Expectations
3: 46 Denial and Disappointment
4: 22 Out of the Comfort Zone
5: 00 Conceal, Don’t Feel
5: 35 Empty Conversations
reply
MorgueInTheVoid
Could you do a video about that feeling of butterflies in your stomach My bf told me that he doesn't understand what I mean when I say that. Apparently he's never felt that when talking to a girl and I just can't wrap my head around the thought of someone never knowing that feeling when talking to someone they like.
reply
Could you do a video about that feeling of butterflies in your stomach My bf told me that he doesn't understand what I mean when I say that. Apparently he's never felt that when talking to a girl and I just can't wrap my head around the thought of someone never knowing that feeling when talking to someone they like.
reply
DecentGamer191
This video is so insightful! It really made me think about the importance of genuine connection and understanding in relationships. It's crucial to be loved for who we truly are, not just an idealized version of ourselves. Thank you for sharing these signs and tips on recognizing authentic love.
reply
This video is so insightful! It really made me think about the importance of genuine connection and understanding in relationships. It's crucial to be loved for who we truly are, not just an idealized version of ourselves. Thank you for sharing these signs and tips on recognizing authentic love.
reply
arthurpenfield8229
That called love in this day and time, doesn't mean anything like it used to. I've never been that fortunate to be in love with anyone. I was abused too hard for 24. 5 years. People love to use, mistreat, lie, cheat, and physically hurt. I don't need love, for what good will love do me
reply
That called love in this day and time, doesn't mean anything like it used to. I've never been that fortunate to be in love with anyone. I was abused too hard for 24. 5 years. People love to use, mistreat, lie, cheat, and physically hurt. I don't need love, for what good will love do me
reply
TechyCatz
I went though this with my wife. She didn’t actually like who I was. She said I was the same person as when we was dating. I asked her Did you not like me when I was dating She said I did but I thought you would change with time I believe I have grown but she had this image of who I should be.
reply
I went though this with my wife. She didn’t actually like who I was. She said I was the same person as when we was dating. I asked her Did you not like me when I was dating She said I did but I thought you would change with time I believe I have grown but she had this image of who I should be.
reply
NarcSurvivor
Most relationships are fantasy-based. People are interacting with the image of a person, rather than who they actually are. This is how they accept things that they don’t really like or approve of. Because the image they see is different to who the person actually is.
reply
Most relationships are fantasy-based. People are interacting with the image of a person, rather than who they actually are. This is how they accept things that they don’t really like or approve of. Because the image they see is different to who the person actually is.
reply
YunTan-UC
All of these setting boundaries or detecting signs are useless when you meet a good liar, a perfect actor and a histrionic narcissist person. You would only see who they are after they get what they want from you. And their laugh is always so crazy and insincere.
reply
All of these setting boundaries or detecting signs are useless when you meet a good liar, a perfect actor and a histrionic narcissist person. You would only see who they are after they get what they want from you. And their laugh is always so crazy and insincere.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
