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zakruti.com » Knowledge, science, education » Psych2Go
SELF CHECK: How To NOT Be A Toxic Person

SELF CHECK: How To NOT Be A Toxic Person

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Rating: 4.0; Vote: 1
In this video, we'll be discussing the tips on how to not be a toxic person. A toxic person is someone who thrive on conflict and drama, whipping up trouble for themselves and those around them, this video is for you. Have you ever wondered if you were the toxic one in the relationship? This self check video is for you
Date: 2023-08-20

Comments and reviews: 25


Though I rarely tell the others about myself. I really need someone to hear me right now, It's probably waste of time but. well I don't know if anyone would read it.
From when I was a kid, I never done things wrongly (I never associate myself with what my parents though was wrong, I never hurt people, never talk bad about people and was typical shy boy. so I never feel like what I done is wrong or I need to apologize for it. So sometimes when I was in need to apologize I couldn't say it, I know that I need to. But before I could I just burst into tears and just ended up as pathethic person who couldn't say it (I lost my friends because of this. Tho this story is about this video.
(This not always happened tho)
There's others. It's not about this video, but I want someone to hear about it. I had a circle with people around 4 or 6, 2 of them are what I counted as my best friends. They was kind and everything. Sometimes, I fought with one of them because something I don't like about this guy (He's lazy and sometimes tend to copy my assignment everytime he could. But. it wasn't that long till it resolved.
But a week ago, I just couldn't take it anymore.
One of my best friends is a girl, she's a clever girl. But lately, she kept silent when I talked to her, she never looked at me, and the worst is that she talked to other people nicely but not to me and my other bestfriends. When I asked her Is there anything wrong, is it me or him, she answered no.
I knew her, she just tired about school and all. It's been a few months. I always keep silent and kind about it, I never mad at her for it. but I just can't act kind anymore.
And what's more. My other bestfriends the one who usually copies my assignment. He took my assignment that should have been submitted to the teacher. The teacher wasn't mad, it just I couldn't take it anymore. You know what? he was playing game the moments I was working with that assignment. It wasn't even that hard, the materials were already on the book the teacher gave us.
We just need to copy it into a paper.
Sometimes I just intend to let it go, and let him do that but. really? It's been 2 years? you still can't do it? or are you just taking advantage of my can't say no personalities?
So with these two combined I went silent with them. I quit the chat group we all used to chat together and from what I knew that made the circle gone.
I was alone until now (Not really alone but, I still talk with others at school. And I have my other bestfriends, they are in another schools tho.
But thanks to my experience, I could still hold on with the silent atmoshpere around them. We still talk, but I won't be opening much anymore.
Dang. that take a lot of anger for me to write this.

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This is a wonderful video. I always felt myself being somewhat toxic and tried to fix myself as much as possible. Here's my two cents about how I adress these toxic traits myself:
1. Ckecking my ego is never pleasant, but I have to do this so that I wouldn't hurt others unintentionally. This process can be easier when I know that I can love and accept myself being flawed. It opens a space for constructive self-criticism and encourages to not repeat the same mistakes again. Ego is not enitrely evil, it's part of my personality. Its role is self-preservation, I just have to make sure that it doesn't come with the cost of hurting others.
2. For me wishing to test others comes from unanswered questions in my mind. Do I like when others are testing me? No. That's how I had to learn how politely and assertively ask these questions before accumulating too many negative emotions. On the other side, observation of one's behavior at the start of a relationship is crucial to evaluate the possible issues coming later.
3. Gossiping is something I learned from my own gaslighter mother. It took me years to realize that it's NOT a right thing to do. EVER. For me, it comes from low self-esteem and self-hate. If I tend to see bad things in others, gossip about them, then its clear that I just want to humiliate them to feel better about myself. I had to learn how to see positive things in myself, so that I could see them in others. If I'm capable of self-love and self-respect, I don't seek to compare myself to the others, I know that I'm good enough for myself and I can always be even better. The only positive thing that can come from comparing myself with others is finding good behaviour examples and learning them.
4. How to not be a doormat, if you're considering yourself the most spineless person in the world? Defending my own boundaries is something I'm working on. All I know that it comes with finding balance that my own feelings matter as much as the other's. It's okay, if I can't tolerate certain behaviours, I just need to learn express this in assertive way. When I started to defend my own boundaries, I started to respect the other's.
5. I can't say much about controlling other people's mindsets, especially when the most common thing I hear from others and myself is calm down. Does it feel like someone is controlling my mindset? Not really, but thanks for an interesting example.
6. Not delaying difficult conversations comes with checking my ego. I need to admit my mistakes, so that I could learn from them. Even so, my mistakes do not define me, I need to have love and compassion for myself.

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I like to do what I call friendly gossip. Or wholesome gossip. And that's usually just things like Did you hear? Migah aced his exam the other day! Or Have you listened to Aqua's music? It's so good! Especially if I notice friend groups spirlaing into talking about people negatively in the back. I've noticed that this keeps the information sharing feeling that a lot of people enjoy while making it seem like gossip.
I also want to add my input on confronting difficult situations. While I will agree that putting them off is very harmful, talking about them as soon as they arise isn 't good for everyone. My husband and I have found that what works best for us is to say there's something very important I want to get off of my chest with you, but I don't know how to properly word it. Can you give me time to get my thoughts in order? Sometimes that means a few hours or sometimes a couple of days. This allows us to better communicate what we want to say without accusing the other of this or that. Since we've started doing this our conversations have been more clear and there have been fewer misunderstandings. This also works very well for us since I have anxiety and if I feel the other person raises their voice, I shut down. Often times going completely mute. Letting him know that I want to have an important conversation lets him know that I'll likely be a little on edge and to be more mindful with his words. And when he tells me he wants to have an important conversation that lets me know that he wants to be fully heard and understood, not trying to read between the lines or anything like that.

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I recently broke up with a toxic ex, and it was one of the worst relationships ever. They always told me that they were right, and when I offered my perspective they dismissed it and told me I was wrong, even for little things. After we broke up they began to gossip about me, even lying to my friends, placing me in constant anguish. They even had made me believe that I was in the wrong, but when one of their friends (who sided with me) told me I was right, I stepped back and realised that they were the one who was hurting us. They had a lot of issues that I tried to overlook, but overlooking problems in a toxic relationship can be extremely harmful to both people. I should have spoken up but I didn't, and now I suffer because of it. If you take anything from this, then know that its better to speak up about the problems you face rather than hiding them and allowing them to build up
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I think the difficult conversations part is weird, because more often than not there's a reason they put off those types of conversations. Namely, they're worried about the reaction the other person will have over that information (insert Just tell me, I won't be mad situations here. When someone like your parents or grandparents react poorly when you bring up one of those difficult conversations (especially if they use said conversation against you, it is incredibly damaging to your trust, and so you clam up because if even my immediate family would use this topic against me, imagine what other people would do, and so clamming up about those conversations is a defense mechanism.
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I'm a doormat and a people pleaser. Most of the time it's because I'm scared. My childhood has taught me that if I don't give myself up for other people then I will be punished or I told that I'm not good enough. Of course my life is so much better now but I still struggle with these issues. I can understand how it hurts other people, and I am trying to give myself more respect. You must respect yourself because you're hurting others. Just feels like another way of people-pleasing. I think you should respect yourself to respect yourself. And that is going to take a long time. Of course this is just my opinion I'm not a professional, and I haven't done as much research.
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Since 2009 I lost my brother and ever since that day i have turned into someone that even i wouldnt want to be friends with or hire. I'm angry all of the time because if i'm not i just want to cry. Because of this no one wants to be around me, help me or anything. I'm a toxic person as i dont let anyone in, i dont trust anyone. When i am nice to people they do take advantage of me so then i lash out and refuse to help for a while. I've recently moved from Atlanta to Calinfornia seeking mental and spirtual help but i'm unemployed and trying to get a job to help pay for treatment seems impossible and i dont know what to do. I feel extremely lost. I really need help!
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The last few years were a really important period in my life, to becoming a better and less toxic person. I think I've already accomplished a high level of improvement, but I will always try to identify my toxic traits and become the best version of myself. Still, I kind of relate to the 5 point. One of the things I say a lot is calm down, but most of the times I dont say this to be rational, but for make the other person feel better, and this phrase is often followed by a it will be allright. Am I being toxic by saying this? Please, share your opinions with me because I dont know
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I'm a cheater liar, abuser, thief, victim mindset, know it all. I really thought I was good or like empathetic? Turns out I'm worse than everyone else I've ever viewed as bad. I also told myself there's no way I'm the issue I already have low self esteem. You can be VERY toxic while ultimately hating yourself. I am more so doormat & being one makes me an extreme people pleaser. People pleasing is toxic, because you don't tell people how you really feel or what you've done because you're afraid of looking bad. Good luck everyone, I haven't changed yet but I hope to.
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In my past relationship I was toxic, I would put off topics that needed to be talked about. And I wouldn't fully articulate what I was feeling. I lied 3 times and every time I lied it was rather brought up by her (as in asking me the question a second time and be answering truthfully there) and for the last one I told her about it and I knew it would end everything. I hope to God that I can improve with hard work and therapy but that would never undo what I did. Because what I did is truly not okay and undeserved
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I didnt know that my toxicity is just so bad not unless a stranger online pointed out how problematic I am. Glad she didnt know my name. But the thing is, I lack self-love. I am such a horrible person and Im sorry to the people around me I know how tiring I am. They be like walking on eggshells still gonna be hurt by the words Im saying then I will still be close to them cause I depend on them, leaving them trapped on me. I am so horrible.
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I am watching this video, so I can find a way to help my partner heal their toxic behavior bc it's not only hurting me but anyone who ever cared about them. They always think they're the victim of an argument and everyone else is guilty while they are the guilty one in most conflicts. and i dont want to break up with them bc i love them and i think they can change if they wanted to. and if they knew how hurt i am. im not rlly sure
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Psych2Go I restrict all the rules, try to be polite but not a doormat, avoid big conflicts with people I don't agree with, respect their points of view as much as possible, yet I am not very liked and popular. Because I am Aspie, an introvert, people always find me I must be insincere and do wrong things behind their back.
What shall I do if my attitude is not convincing because I am not good with social things?

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At 2: 55 when you said don't be a doormat and explained why, it made realise i was one.
I'm always scared to go against people opinion so i agree to everythings they say. I never allow myself to speak my mind wich is pretty toxic for me. I have to work on my self-esteem! Thanks for the video ( and for people who have the same struggle, one day i'm sure we'll be able make it and speak our mind! )

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I realized that I was the toxic person in our relationship when my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. I've been careless with him, he felt underappreciated. He was very patient and understanding and I was a whole mess. I, drained him, I ruined him, I lost him, and I regret it, but I learned from it. I'll strive to be the better person today.
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I'm not a toxic person, but I know toxic people who are always close to me, my cousins, my old friends, they were using me, I got bullied, all I know is toxic people, and I don't know why I want to find one person who wants to be my friend who won't ditch me, he won't come in names who won't use me who will care. I hate costing people no one should
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I have told my sister to calm down before, but I think I was justified. She was freaking out to a point that she was coughing and had a really hard time breathing, so I calmly and softly told her Okay, try taking some deep breaths. Just try to calm down a little bit so you can breathe better. I was just looking out for her.
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Before watching this I can just say that i do have ALOOOOOOT of toxic traits and toxic moments in my life that I'm not proud of but I'm overall a really good person. And I've had one of my friends say that my qoute on qoute toxicity isn't noticeable until someone starts hating me or I accidentally anger themWHAT DOES THIS MEAN ISTG-
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Im a toxic person, and i know it. I keep trying so hard to stop it but i just cant. I even end up having some twisted way of good (like thoughts of people who did wrong being tortured forever. Its what has happened to me in life to be like this, all this psychological terror and trauma has made me evil, and good at the same time.
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me and my other friends might do those things but me and my besties oh we are philipinos and even tho we do those we made it like more pranks or more fight but dont worry we get along so fast cuz thats how me and my besties relationship works we also like trash talkin (to the enemy's only) well thats all
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At this point I can't blame everything on my ADHD but I think it might have something to do with my toxic behavior. Sometimes I feel like I have to be heard bc if I don't I get anxious and it also plays a big role for my inability to control my emotions. Mostly anger. People be making me mad. Lol.
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'But it's important to remember that change is always possible'
No it isn't. I'm autistic. What others perceive as defensive or controlling usually isn't. I can control how I act to a degree, but doing so is dangerous, and I can't control how others misinterpret my actions.

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No one ever listened to me until i was getting mad, then they listened and now i catch myself being always mad because i still think or feel no one listens to me and i feel like I'm losing control. this makes me so toxic because i force them to listen and try to control their actions
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First: Don't search how to not be toxic it's only gonna make you a kind barbie that's used by everyone, but no one respect it at all
Im just here to comment this, i really used to pay attention to pysch2go videos but it's only made me used and worthless, just be selfish y'all

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I am an unintentional toxic person, I think, my bsf stopped talking to me because I made her sad, I wish she had talked to me before so we could have resolved this, anyways I hope to become a better person and not push away my friends
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