5 Reasons Why We Self Sabotage
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
ConvictedAshes
Im pretty confident in other areas of life but I struggle to think my managers at work think Im a good worker though I am but since I have mild autism I believe they think Im a retar sped whos only good at lifting heavy boxes who would fail as being a graveyard shift supervisor (if the guy in charge is sick and cant come in) as well as being undesirable to most woman due to said autism. I stutter when nervous so whenever I try to interact with a woman I just met and those times where I would sound like a tard while my mind races to figure out things to say to keep the conversation going, I feel like running away and ramming my head into a brick wall. It all stemmed from 7th and 8th grade where I was bullied by the most prettiest/popular girls (including a crush who used to be my friend) and since I was in special ed half the time that shattered my self esteem. I know how mean kids can be but this all happened during puberty (8th grade. I have a couple female friends I sporadically see but theyre either taken or not my type romantically but cherish their friendship but never told them about my struggle due to myself looking like an idiot as my other male friends have no problem finding a mate.
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Im pretty confident in other areas of life but I struggle to think my managers at work think Im a good worker though I am but since I have mild autism I believe they think Im a retar sped whos only good at lifting heavy boxes who would fail as being a graveyard shift supervisor (if the guy in charge is sick and cant come in) as well as being undesirable to most woman due to said autism. I stutter when nervous so whenever I try to interact with a woman I just met and those times where I would sound like a tard while my mind races to figure out things to say to keep the conversation going, I feel like running away and ramming my head into a brick wall. It all stemmed from 7th and 8th grade where I was bullied by the most prettiest/popular girls (including a crush who used to be my friend) and since I was in special ed half the time that shattered my self esteem. I know how mean kids can be but this all happened during puberty (8th grade. I have a couple female friends I sporadically see but theyre either taken or not my type romantically but cherish their friendship but never told them about my struggle due to myself looking like an idiot as my other male friends have no problem finding a mate.
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Moraenil
The first one is definitely me. But, I also know it was brought about by how I was treated by my parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, pretty much everyone. I was constantly told how I was never good enough and how nothing I ever did was right (still hear it constantly in my 40s, it's never stopped, and when you hear something enough, you believe it. And when that kind of attitude is attributed, not only to things you try to do, but who you are as a person, it destroys you, utterly and completely. And because this was all I heard about me all my life, and I believe it, how can I not sabotage myself when everything I've ever done in my life as proven to me that I can't ever do anything right by anyone? I'm also very afraid of success of any kind, because I've never really had it, and I know that expectations will go from too high to even higher, thereby making it even more impossible to ever see true success or be happy.
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The first one is definitely me. But, I also know it was brought about by how I was treated by my parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, pretty much everyone. I was constantly told how I was never good enough and how nothing I ever did was right (still hear it constantly in my 40s, it's never stopped, and when you hear something enough, you believe it. And when that kind of attitude is attributed, not only to things you try to do, but who you are as a person, it destroys you, utterly and completely. And because this was all I heard about me all my life, and I believe it, how can I not sabotage myself when everything I've ever done in my life as proven to me that I can't ever do anything right by anyone? I'm also very afraid of success of any kind, because I've never really had it, and I know that expectations will go from too high to even higher, thereby making it even more impossible to ever see true success or be happy.
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Tabitha
I've done the second and third ones, but not the first, fourth, and fifth ones. I was taking the STAAR test and I was on the writing portion in English. For some reason, when I would hit the spacebar on the document, it would erase a character somewhere in the document. This happened when I was almost on the conclusion paragraph. I got so frustrated and felt like I was messing up and failing, so I held down the spacebar and erased the entire thing. I told the teacher who was supervising me what happened and he told me he realized what was going on and fixed it. Whereas on the third one, I'm an admin in a Discord server and I feel like I'm undeserving of the position, even though I've well earned it. I underestimate myself and procrastinate because I'm scared I'm going to mess up. Everybody makes mistakes, and I know that. But I'm so scared of making them. I'm so scared of people thinking ill of me.
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I've done the second and third ones, but not the first, fourth, and fifth ones. I was taking the STAAR test and I was on the writing portion in English. For some reason, when I would hit the spacebar on the document, it would erase a character somewhere in the document. This happened when I was almost on the conclusion paragraph. I got so frustrated and felt like I was messing up and failing, so I held down the spacebar and erased the entire thing. I told the teacher who was supervising me what happened and he told me he realized what was going on and fixed it. Whereas on the third one, I'm an admin in a Discord server and I feel like I'm undeserving of the position, even though I've well earned it. I underestimate myself and procrastinate because I'm scared I'm going to mess up. Everybody makes mistakes, and I know that. But I'm so scared of making them. I'm so scared of people thinking ill of me.
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Justin
According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. We replay negative loops and have a negative narrative in heads and although we may not always be the one saying it because alot of it goes unconsciously, we are the one who hears it. Change your narrative. An average person has about 12, 000 to 60, 000 thoughts per day. If we repeat those negative thoughts, we think negative way more than we think positive thoughts. The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The human brain has a natural tendency to give weight to (and remember) negative experiences or interactions more than positive onesthey stand out more. Psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. Our brains are wired to scout for the bad stuff and fixate on the threat, says psychologist and author Rick Hanson.
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According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive. We replay negative loops and have a negative narrative in heads and although we may not always be the one saying it because alot of it goes unconsciously, we are the one who hears it. Change your narrative. An average person has about 12, 000 to 60, 000 thoughts per day. If we repeat those negative thoughts, we think negative way more than we think positive thoughts. The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
The human brain has a natural tendency to give weight to (and remember) negative experiences or interactions more than positive onesthey stand out more. Psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. Our brains are wired to scout for the bad stuff and fixate on the threat, says psychologist and author Rick Hanson.
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Wind_Cursed
I'm crying right now, this is too relatable
I already knew before I watched this that I'm ruining every chance I get at something greater and something I desire, but it just hurts so much when all of this seems to be calling out everything I do. It's like someone telling me I need to get better and stop destroying everything I enjoy, but it's not that simple! So far the only solution I have to this problem is just digging this problematic hole bigger and I can't stop!
But, unlike most people, this isn't caused by trauma in my past. No, this is caused by FEAR of those traumatic experiences happening to me. I'm already broken enough, I don't need more cracks!
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I'm crying right now, this is too relatable
I already knew before I watched this that I'm ruining every chance I get at something greater and something I desire, but it just hurts so much when all of this seems to be calling out everything I do. It's like someone telling me I need to get better and stop destroying everything I enjoy, but it's not that simple! So far the only solution I have to this problem is just digging this problematic hole bigger and I can't stop!
But, unlike most people, this isn't caused by trauma in my past. No, this is caused by FEAR of those traumatic experiences happening to me. I'm already broken enough, I don't need more cracks!
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Justin
It's not only because of my caregiver as a child that I have an insecure attachment style. Ambivalent. I know that nothing here lasts forever. I have lost a ton of friends to addiction and even in my adult years, good friendships don't last. We grow apart and life happens. We find other interests and passions. So, when I bond with someone I open up too real quickly. And when it comes to places and things, I feel both strong positive and negative about them. I care. When I care. I am passionate. I don't do anything if I don't do it with passion.
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It's not only because of my caregiver as a child that I have an insecure attachment style. Ambivalent. I know that nothing here lasts forever. I have lost a ton of friends to addiction and even in my adult years, good friendships don't last. We grow apart and life happens. We find other interests and passions. So, when I bond with someone I open up too real quickly. And when it comes to places and things, I feel both strong positive and negative about them. I care. When I care. I am passionate. I don't do anything if I don't do it with passion.
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Wayne
I've done everything humanly possible to avoid self sabotage. but no matter what I do to achieve my goals I am confronted by the same old road blocks. These are circumstances beyond my control. I concentrate on the positive in everything I do but still getting no where. It's as if I'm stuck in a loop. I take the straight and always end up back where I've started But I'm still bound and determined not to let anything stand in my way. What must I do to take control of the things I can't control, pray? That's all I've been doing.
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I've done everything humanly possible to avoid self sabotage. but no matter what I do to achieve my goals I am confronted by the same old road blocks. These are circumstances beyond my control. I concentrate on the positive in everything I do but still getting no where. It's as if I'm stuck in a loop. I take the straight and always end up back where I've started But I'm still bound and determined not to let anything stand in my way. What must I do to take control of the things I can't control, pray? That's all I've been doing.
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Joe
Start with re-framing your beliefs about yourself and your past. Know that your past happened, and it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility. Re-frame the daily things in your life from I have to goto work changes to I'm blessed that I have a steady income. Know your worth and that you are worthy of much more than you tell yourself. Always show love and compassion for yourself and stop looking for external validation. CCIA, consistent committed imperfect action, you can't micromanage every aspect of your life.
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Start with re-framing your beliefs about yourself and your past. Know that your past happened, and it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility. Re-frame the daily things in your life from I have to goto work changes to I'm blessed that I have a steady income. Know your worth and that you are worthy of much more than you tell yourself. Always show love and compassion for yourself and stop looking for external validation. CCIA, consistent committed imperfect action, you can't micromanage every aspect of your life.
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ur_nothuman_person
Im 13, I dont rlly know if im the one overreacting but i remember my parents telling me that they want me to get runned over by a train, told me that they want me to get lost and they wouldn't care to search for me also my mom told me that she would be happy if i just die but they also treat me and buy me everything i need and sometimes care for me. Im really confused and end up blaming myself idk if im being dramatic
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Im 13, I dont rlly know if im the one overreacting but i remember my parents telling me that they want me to get runned over by a train, told me that they want me to get lost and they wouldn't care to search for me also my mom told me that she would be happy if i just die but they also treat me and buy me everything i need and sometimes care for me. Im really confused and end up blaming myself idk if im being dramatic
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Gene
Thank You all at Psych2Go. This topic resonated so strongly with me. This trait is severely underrated as the severe problem that it is. The cognitive dissonance in one persons view has a major hold on the whole nation of India. The title India, In Cognitive Dissonance. It may be less personal than the individual portion. When I have a problem, the one approach that is part of my trying to understand is information gathering.
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Thank You all at Psych2Go. This topic resonated so strongly with me. This trait is severely underrated as the severe problem that it is. The cognitive dissonance in one persons view has a major hold on the whole nation of India. The title India, In Cognitive Dissonance. It may be less personal than the individual portion. When I have a problem, the one approach that is part of my trying to understand is information gathering.
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Ali
Can someone help me:
Im trying to get away from girl that trying to get close from me for reall im not that type of people but we had never talked and no one see other that much but today she spoked to me and I can confirm she trying to get close to me the reason why I want to no get close to her because she just run behind the good looking people or her type thats not love: (
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Can someone help me:
Im trying to get away from girl that trying to get close from me for reall im not that type of people but we had never talked and no one see other that much but today she spoked to me and I can confirm she trying to get close to me the reason why I want to no get close to her because she just run behind the good looking people or her type thats not love: (
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Vanessa
OMG. this one! When you feel like a failure, you will go above and beyond to demonstrate to yourself that you were right from the get-go and try to validate this core belief from those around you! It's such a weird behaviour /way of thinking, but we are only matching that to our subconscious beliefs. thanks for this informative video today. So helpful!
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OMG. this one! When you feel like a failure, you will go above and beyond to demonstrate to yourself that you were right from the get-go and try to validate this core belief from those around you! It's such a weird behaviour /way of thinking, but we are only matching that to our subconscious beliefs. thanks for this informative video today. So helpful!
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heather
Heyyy!
Just wanted to ask, because I cant find any good video about it, maybe you could make a video about how being bullied affects your adulthood? Just wanted to see how/if it affected me for the long run, and how I can be able to avoid being dragged down by it
Hope you guys see this, with much love
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Heyyy!
Just wanted to ask, because I cant find any good video about it, maybe you could make a video about how being bullied affects your adulthood? Just wanted to see how/if it affected me for the long run, and how I can be able to avoid being dragged down by it
Hope you guys see this, with much love
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StrudelD
I tend to self sabotage a lot, especially with friendships because of my low self-esteem and insecurities. I'm extremely self aware, which means i'm also very critical of myself. That's why I avoid my friends (people in general) and isolate myself. If I could afford therapy I would definitely try it.
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I tend to self sabotage a lot, especially with friendships because of my low self-esteem and insecurities. I'm extremely self aware, which means i'm also very critical of myself. That's why I avoid my friends (people in general) and isolate myself. If I could afford therapy I would definitely try it.
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Texep
Hello! I love your episodes. And I'd like you to do an episode about people who have Asperger's and are confirmed to be geniuses. Because I'm such a case that I have asperger's syndrome and it's proven that I'm a genius, with adhd and that's why I would like to see such an episode from you; )
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Hello! I love your episodes. And I'd like you to do an episode about people who have Asperger's and are confirmed to be geniuses. Because I'm such a case that I have asperger's syndrome and it's proven that I'm a genius, with adhd and that's why I would like to see such an episode from you; )
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education
Nothing is ever that simple really, and most people don't do this to themselves intentionally in fairness like. Also we always need to have compassion and understanding for ourselves and eachother and not make unsound judgements about things as nobody knows anybody else's journey.
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Nothing is ever that simple really, and most people don't do this to themselves intentionally in fairness like. Also we always need to have compassion and understanding for ourselves and eachother and not make unsound judgements about things as nobody knows anybody else's journey.
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education
Learned recently I need love, need self acceptance and self worth to finally heal my inner child and gain emotional maturity. I self sabatoge so much of my growth. Its a slow progress and while I'm going backwards right now I am aware, so it's improvement to me from years ago
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Learned recently I need love, need self acceptance and self worth to finally heal my inner child and gain emotional maturity. I self sabatoge so much of my growth. Its a slow progress and while I'm going backwards right now I am aware, so it's improvement to me from years ago
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Warren
I relate to number 1, your own worst enemy. I first heard of this quote when Gouken in Super Street Fighter 4 said this. I try my best to avoid the negativity and anger dictate my actions. I actively learn how to be a better person everyday, so I can be my own best teacher.
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I relate to number 1, your own worst enemy. I first heard of this quote when Gouken in Super Street Fighter 4 said this. I try my best to avoid the negativity and anger dictate my actions. I actively learn how to be a better person everyday, so I can be my own best teacher.
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Neujack
thats fist line of finding the one and fell into unreasonably antagonistic behavior for you to push them away hit me so hard i started to cry for how truthful that is. It hurts so bad and i never wanted that person to be a lesson when they were definitely a lover.
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thats fist line of finding the one and fell into unreasonably antagonistic behavior for you to push them away hit me so hard i started to cry for how truthful that is. It hurts so bad and i never wanted that person to be a lesson when they were definitely a lover.
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Aditi
All those relate to me. Idk what to do except move forward i have already done everything in that sabotaged my future in a certain way, i guess now the only thing i can do is be satisfied with the position i am in and hope for happiness and a second chance.
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All those relate to me. Idk what to do except move forward i have already done everything in that sabotaged my future in a certain way, i guess now the only thing i can do is be satisfied with the position i am in and hope for happiness and a second chance.
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starlet
The only person who will never let you down is yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others, you are unique, just like everybody else. And if you think nobody cares about you, remember there are billions of cells inside your body which only care about you.
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The only person who will never let you down is yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others, you are unique, just like everybody else. And if you think nobody cares about you, remember there are billions of cells inside your body which only care about you.
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Amisha
1) positive thinking
2) effective time management skills
3) love yourself and others emotions
4) feel free like butterfly and listen to your heart sounds
5) let's all pray for great health and world from now until the end of our life
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1) positive thinking
2) effective time management skills
3) love yourself and others emotions
4) feel free like butterfly and listen to your heart sounds
5) let's all pray for great health and world from now until the end of our life
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Zack
I blame myself sometimes for the reaction of people and feel bad and blame myself. Its hard trying to understand if Im in the wrong or theyre in the wrong and dont deserve a second chance.
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I blame myself sometimes for the reaction of people and feel bad and blame myself. Its hard trying to understand if Im in the wrong or theyre in the wrong and dont deserve a second chance.
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Techno
Everything else shoves me down, why not add on to the pile?
Nothing is ever going to get better, the people who can actually make things better have no reason to make things better
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Everything else shoves me down, why not add on to the pile?
Nothing is ever going to get better, the people who can actually make things better have no reason to make things better
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That
I ALWAYS learn things the hardest way. ALWAYS to the point where the consequences outweigh the goals. Guess some people were made with purpose, others just ended up here on accident.
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I ALWAYS learn things the hardest way. ALWAYS to the point where the consequences outweigh the goals. Guess some people were made with purpose, others just ended up here on accident.
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