4 signs of emotional abuse - Viann Nguyen-Feng
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THIS IS WHAT INTERNET SHOULD BE.
Any advice guys? Cuz i think they dont do it intentionally but they do it anyway. will i survive this? Or do they do it because they want to make me better by controlling me? Or am i just being selfish and accusing them for no reason(still have doubts)
Date: 2022-03-17
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Comments and reviews: 7
Saila
Hmm. Just to clarify the use of the silent treatment: If someone demonstrates a pattern of trying to lie to me, gaslight me, manipulate me, show contempt for me as a person, abuse me in any way, or any of the other BS ways in which people delight in trying to take advantage of others (some of which will only take one attempt, then they have damned well ceased to deserve any communication from me. And not only will they get the silent treatment from me, they will be permanently relived of any opportunity to interact or associate with me. There's nothing wrong with cutting toxic, abusive, NPD, BPD, etc. people out of your life and ending all communication with them. And if the person is family or a parent -- both in the loosest senses of the words -- then that is all the more reason to cut them permanently out of your life. You don't owe it to ANYONE to be in their lives (except your child, or to be their emotional or psychological punching bag, scratching post, or whipping boy/girl (not even your child.
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Hmm. Just to clarify the use of the silent treatment: If someone demonstrates a pattern of trying to lie to me, gaslight me, manipulate me, show contempt for me as a person, abuse me in any way, or any of the other BS ways in which people delight in trying to take advantage of others (some of which will only take one attempt, then they have damned well ceased to deserve any communication from me. And not only will they get the silent treatment from me, they will be permanently relived of any opportunity to interact or associate with me. There's nothing wrong with cutting toxic, abusive, NPD, BPD, etc. people out of your life and ending all communication with them. And if the person is family or a parent -- both in the loosest senses of the words -- then that is all the more reason to cut them permanently out of your life. You don't owe it to ANYONE to be in their lives (except your child, or to be their emotional or psychological punching bag, scratching post, or whipping boy/girl (not even your child.
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Smoogles
I'm often accused of emotional abuse early on, because I shut down in a fight. I turn inward, stop talking and am processing everything that's happening. It's seen initially as the silent treatment. However, I've learned to let my partners and family know that I'm not intentionally ignoring them. I'm just trying to processing the events, make sense and determine if I did indeed make a mistake and what I should do to fix it. This has really helped ease frustration and resentment on both sides.
That being said, the silent treatment is AWFUL! You should never do it to someone. If you're tired of talking about something, just ask the person to revisit the topic at a later time. Don't cut them off.
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I'm often accused of emotional abuse early on, because I shut down in a fight. I turn inward, stop talking and am processing everything that's happening. It's seen initially as the silent treatment. However, I've learned to let my partners and family know that I'm not intentionally ignoring them. I'm just trying to processing the events, make sense and determine if I did indeed make a mistake and what I should do to fix it. This has really helped ease frustration and resentment on both sides.
That being said, the silent treatment is AWFUL! You should never do it to someone. If you're tired of talking about something, just ask the person to revisit the topic at a later time. Don't cut them off.
reply
Ivy
A close friend of mine was being emotionally abused by both her parents. It grew worse during the pandemic. It came to the point where her parents started talking ill about us (her friend circle) and she was made to cut off ties with us. She frequently had breakdowns in middle of classes to a point where the teacher had to call the parents only to take her home and abuse more (Asian parents thing. we only talk in school and we can't even tell the teachers (cuz parents knows the best duh) and neither her parents as they think she doesn't talk to us anymore. if they find it out, it will only make the situation worse
reply
A close friend of mine was being emotionally abused by both her parents. It grew worse during the pandemic. It came to the point where her parents started talking ill about us (her friend circle) and she was made to cut off ties with us. She frequently had breakdowns in middle of classes to a point where the teacher had to call the parents only to take her home and abuse more (Asian parents thing. we only talk in school and we can't even tell the teachers (cuz parents knows the best duh) and neither her parents as they think she doesn't talk to us anymore. if they find it out, it will only make the situation worse
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Mimi
hearing this I wonder if I am emotionally abusive to my older mom, like the silent treatment by not liking conflict, or just plainly ignoring her I feel horrible and that being said it's sort of like a subconscious revenge on my side to her for what I feel she unjustly put me through my teenage years. Also the way she interprets my actions like me moving and arranging her clutter and her putting words and thoughts into my head saying I'm calling her lazy and disorganized when that never even crossed my mind. I'm prone to holding grudges and I think we both need a lot of therapy to deal with our personal issues.
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hearing this I wonder if I am emotionally abusive to my older mom, like the silent treatment by not liking conflict, or just plainly ignoring her I feel horrible and that being said it's sort of like a subconscious revenge on my side to her for what I feel she unjustly put me through my teenage years. Also the way she interprets my actions like me moving and arranging her clutter and her putting words and thoughts into my head saying I'm calling her lazy and disorganized when that never even crossed my mind. I'm prone to holding grudges and I think we both need a lot of therapy to deal with our personal issues.
reply
Mimi
hearing this I wonder if I am emotionally abusive to my older mom, like the silent treatment by not liking conflict, or just plainly ignoring her I feel horrible and that being said it's sort of like a subconscious revenge on my side to her for what I feel she unjustly put me through my teenage years. Also the way she interprets my actions like me moving and arranging her clutter and her putting words and thoughts into my head saying I'm calling her lazy and disorganized when that never even crossed my mind. I'm prone to holding grudges and I think we both need a lot of therapy to deal with our personal issues.
reply
hearing this I wonder if I am emotionally abusive to my older mom, like the silent treatment by not liking conflict, or just plainly ignoring her I feel horrible and that being said it's sort of like a subconscious revenge on my side to her for what I feel she unjustly put me through my teenage years. Also the way she interprets my actions like me moving and arranging her clutter and her putting words and thoughts into my head saying I'm calling her lazy and disorganized when that never even crossed my mind. I'm prone to holding grudges and I think we both need a lot of therapy to deal with our personal issues.
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cutie
Some days ago, I realised that I was and still am emotinally abused. All the gaslighting, all the words he said, everything just makes me anxious.
Yes, I understand, he, my father, got pshycally abused as a child, but why did he go out of his way to emotinally abuse me? Why? Wouldn't you at least try to treat others difrent then how your abuser treated you?
Because I certanly will. I will be nothing like you, I shall never abuse my child. I don't want anyone to go through abuse.
Thank you for reading, I wish you a good day/evening!
reply
Some days ago, I realised that I was and still am emotinally abused. All the gaslighting, all the words he said, everything just makes me anxious.
Yes, I understand, he, my father, got pshycally abused as a child, but why did he go out of his way to emotinally abuse me? Why? Wouldn't you at least try to treat others difrent then how your abuser treated you?
Because I certanly will. I will be nothing like you, I shall never abuse my child. I don't want anyone to go through abuse.
Thank you for reading, I wish you a good day/evening!
reply
micheal
What's worse is when they are physical, I remember a time when I was around 10 I did something that did not warrant the amount of physical beating my dad gave me, it reached a point we're even my mom tried to shield me from him and he lashed out on her, then when he was done he called me into he's room and had a huge smile on his face, telling me how much of a good kid I was and how much he cared for me, and told me he'll never be that aggressive like that again, but boy was I wrong.
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What's worse is when they are physical, I remember a time when I was around 10 I did something that did not warrant the amount of physical beating my dad gave me, it reached a point we're even my mom tried to shield me from him and he lashed out on her, then when he was done he called me into he's room and had a huge smile on his face, telling me how much of a good kid I was and how much he cared for me, and told me he'll never be that aggressive like that again, but boy was I wrong.
reply
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