Underwater Horror Story Something Ancient Hides In The Pacific Ocean Sci-Fi Creepypasta 2023
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Date: 2024-03-17
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Comments and reviews: 7
zibzis1436
I regret to say that the most positive feedback I have for this story is that the goofy New York accent is far from the worst narrator voice I’ve ever heard, and wouldn’t have diminished my enjoyment of the storyif only I had enjoyed the story.
Honestly, I really wanted to enjoy itI love undersea horror and Lovecraftian themesbut the writing is just godawful. It reads like a first rough draft by an inexperienced writer who had only a vague idea of the story they wanted to tell.
The narrative is so disjointed that at times you get the sense that the author forgot what they were writing about. For example, the story obviously takes place at the bottom of the ocean, yet the underwater base is repeatedly referred to as an underGROUND base. Most jarringly, at around the 6: 00 mark it’s briefly but clearly established that the main character finishes his dive and is back aboard the base, but around 11: 30 he’s suddenly back in his dive gear exploring a new part of the undersea city.
And speaking of the city and its inhabitants, here’s another crucial tip for the author: you might have a fantastic imagination, with a vivid idea of what the city and its inhabitants look like, but the only way you’re going to convey that mental image to your readers/listeners is if you describe them in your writing. You can’t just say things like figures animalistic in form and expect the audience’s imaginations to fill in the blanks. About all we’re told about the creatures the main character encounters is that they’re tall, have lanky arms with octopus suckers on the hands, blue eyes, and the head of a meat-eating carnivore (a redundancy, on top of being way too vague. What kind of carnivore Seal Crocodile Shark Barracuda Moray eel Anglerfish. Think about the main character’s perspective: are those really the only details he’d notice about them
Sorry, Dark Cosmos, but this story was a disappointment.
reply
I regret to say that the most positive feedback I have for this story is that the goofy New York accent is far from the worst narrator voice I’ve ever heard, and wouldn’t have diminished my enjoyment of the storyif only I had enjoyed the story.
Honestly, I really wanted to enjoy itI love undersea horror and Lovecraftian themesbut the writing is just godawful. It reads like a first rough draft by an inexperienced writer who had only a vague idea of the story they wanted to tell.
The narrative is so disjointed that at times you get the sense that the author forgot what they were writing about. For example, the story obviously takes place at the bottom of the ocean, yet the underwater base is repeatedly referred to as an underGROUND base. Most jarringly, at around the 6: 00 mark it’s briefly but clearly established that the main character finishes his dive and is back aboard the base, but around 11: 30 he’s suddenly back in his dive gear exploring a new part of the undersea city.
And speaking of the city and its inhabitants, here’s another crucial tip for the author: you might have a fantastic imagination, with a vivid idea of what the city and its inhabitants look like, but the only way you’re going to convey that mental image to your readers/listeners is if you describe them in your writing. You can’t just say things like figures animalistic in form and expect the audience’s imaginations to fill in the blanks. About all we’re told about the creatures the main character encounters is that they’re tall, have lanky arms with octopus suckers on the hands, blue eyes, and the head of a meat-eating carnivore (a redundancy, on top of being way too vague. What kind of carnivore Seal Crocodile Shark Barracuda Moray eel Anglerfish. Think about the main character’s perspective: are those really the only details he’d notice about them
Sorry, Dark Cosmos, but this story was a disappointment.
reply
H0RR0R_HANG0VERZ
SIN-SEA-SIONAL!
I cannot think of the deep sea without shuddering at the nameless things that may at this very moment be crawling and floundering on its slimy bed, worshipping their ancient stone idols and carving their own detestable likenesses on submarine obelisks of water-soaked granite. I dream of a day when they may rise above the billows to drag down in their reeking talons the remnants of puny, war-exhausted mankindof a day when the land shall sink, and the dark ocean floor shall ascend amidst universal pandemonium.
H. P. Lovecraft
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SIN-SEA-SIONAL!
I cannot think of the deep sea without shuddering at the nameless things that may at this very moment be crawling and floundering on its slimy bed, worshipping their ancient stone idols and carving their own detestable likenesses on submarine obelisks of water-soaked granite. I dream of a day when they may rise above the billows to drag down in their reeking talons the remnants of puny, war-exhausted mankindof a day when the land shall sink, and the dark ocean floor shall ascend amidst universal pandemonium.
H. P. Lovecraft
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audiobooks
I love deep sea stories because we have barely explored the oceans. The depths are so intense so i do wonder what is the bottom of the ocean.
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I love deep sea stories because we have barely explored the oceans. The depths are so intense so i do wonder what is the bottom of the ocean.
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TheStuart-of-Cosby
Awesomeness my Friend's. You guys can pull off any narration. Sci-fi or a Earthly story. Thanks again Team Cosmos
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Awesomeness my Friend's. You guys can pull off any narration. Sci-fi or a Earthly story. Thanks again Team Cosmos
reply
harrygrimley4352
This feels incomplete. Needs an editor. The readers voice would be for a privite detective on the east coast.
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This feels incomplete. Needs an editor. The readers voice would be for a privite detective on the east coast.
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teamgonzo9289
I hate to admit, I like the ones with no happy endings. Closer on what to expect.
Just saying. .
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I hate to admit, I like the ones with no happy endings. Closer on what to expect.
Just saying. .
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