9 Signs You're Dealing with Childhood Trauma
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
education
Fkk. this made me remember my childhood trauma. you know what it feels to be when you were abused physically and mentally for 8 years under my biological brother until he left home further studies. I remember those days where there won't be a day without me crying. I have 6 siblings including me, 3 boys n 3 girls. I was the youngest my sister n my abusive brother being the third youngest. you know I feel like being caged with a psycho after my parents left for work. my father was a busy man n my mother is a teacher, in those time school was the safest place for me, I would intentionally put my name is the list of rule defaulters just to delay going home after class. even as a child I feel myself changed after everyday abuse started I stopped talking much n doesn't feel like playing during recess, which I thought was better for me since I was very talkative n naughty. you won't like the situation when you feel scared when someone call your name because it was the same angry voice who call to hit me. even as a child sometimes I feel like dying would be the best option instead of crying morning and evening. n you know what the worst thing is when you cant tell your parents about the situation cause they won't believe me n thought it's a small quarrel yeah n the punishment will be studying the whole night he would ask questions from book every 5 min n who da fuk will will be able to study while crying n studying, he would place the pencil between index and middle grap the end of both finger and twist the pencil. it hurts like hell, he will close my mouth with his palm n repeat it again if I cry out. yeah those fuking he'll of a time is over now. presently m 22 years n I still hold those grudge, like fking he'll my childhood was ruined just pitch darkest in my memory. But even now i dnt like home a single bit. A fking torture place. sry if anyone's reading my dark story with bad English.
reply
Fkk. this made me remember my childhood trauma. you know what it feels to be when you were abused physically and mentally for 8 years under my biological brother until he left home further studies. I remember those days where there won't be a day without me crying. I have 6 siblings including me, 3 boys n 3 girls. I was the youngest my sister n my abusive brother being the third youngest. you know I feel like being caged with a psycho after my parents left for work. my father was a busy man n my mother is a teacher, in those time school was the safest place for me, I would intentionally put my name is the list of rule defaulters just to delay going home after class. even as a child I feel myself changed after everyday abuse started I stopped talking much n doesn't feel like playing during recess, which I thought was better for me since I was very talkative n naughty. you won't like the situation when you feel scared when someone call your name because it was the same angry voice who call to hit me. even as a child sometimes I feel like dying would be the best option instead of crying morning and evening. n you know what the worst thing is when you cant tell your parents about the situation cause they won't believe me n thought it's a small quarrel yeah n the punishment will be studying the whole night he would ask questions from book every 5 min n who da fuk will will be able to study while crying n studying, he would place the pencil between index and middle grap the end of both finger and twist the pencil. it hurts like hell, he will close my mouth with his palm n repeat it again if I cry out. yeah those fuking he'll of a time is over now. presently m 22 years n I still hold those grudge, like fking he'll my childhood was ruined just pitch darkest in my memory. But even now i dnt like home a single bit. A fking torture place. sry if anyone's reading my dark story with bad English.
reply
Your
My psychology teacher, the one who promised to help me, caused me great trauma. I used to cry a lot and my heart usually ached. She told me that I was faking everything, that I'm an attention seeker. She sent me to the principal's office and guilt tripped me in front of her. I still remember that day like yesterday. I wanted to die, just go on top of the rooftop and take a deep dive. When I told that to the principal angrily, she went crazy shouting at me. My psychiatrist appointment was that day so my mother came early. She was shocked when I was soaked in tears. I shouted the loudest screams of my life that day and my mother was absolutely worried. She calmed me in the car and asked me to tell her what happened. When I told her everything her face turned red of anger. Since my psychology teacher presented me like I'm the culprit, I was surprised when I learned that I was the victim. I immediately ran to my psychiatrist and told her everything. Of course she was furious too. And the best part is, I was one step away from depression. So they literally blamed a depressed kid for attention seeking. I got angry too. After that my mom called the principal and told her every it of detail. The next day she got me into her room and apologized. She shouted because she was scared of losing me. I accepted her apology. The psychology teacher still though of me faking and didn't apologize to me for a full year later. Now I'm living my best life.
reply
My psychology teacher, the one who promised to help me, caused me great trauma. I used to cry a lot and my heart usually ached. She told me that I was faking everything, that I'm an attention seeker. She sent me to the principal's office and guilt tripped me in front of her. I still remember that day like yesterday. I wanted to die, just go on top of the rooftop and take a deep dive. When I told that to the principal angrily, she went crazy shouting at me. My psychiatrist appointment was that day so my mother came early. She was shocked when I was soaked in tears. I shouted the loudest screams of my life that day and my mother was absolutely worried. She calmed me in the car and asked me to tell her what happened. When I told her everything her face turned red of anger. Since my psychology teacher presented me like I'm the culprit, I was surprised when I learned that I was the victim. I immediately ran to my psychiatrist and told her everything. Of course she was furious too. And the best part is, I was one step away from depression. So they literally blamed a depressed kid for attention seeking. I got angry too. After that my mom called the principal and told her every it of detail. The next day she got me into her room and apologized. She shouted because she was scared of losing me. I accepted her apology. The psychology teacher still though of me faking and didn't apologize to me for a full year later. Now I'm living my best life.
reply
Nithyasree
The only thing I remember about my childhood is walking eggshells with my parents with whom I never know when they will burst or when they will be happy. They sometimes were the worst or sometimes were better. I don't remember anything else. Maybe spending time with my uncle who's really good and my grandpa who's the best. I don't want to acknowledge my parents because of the pain they often put me through. And I don't even remember demanding things from my parents, only trying to listen to them and accomodating myself to their 'orders'. When I became a teenager, all this changed where I'm very rebellious and harsh with my parents. So they started blackmailing me to 'behave' by taking away the things I love and saying that 'I'm not fit for it', 'I'm not good enough' etc. I don't know if this is trauma, but I do have difficulties in making friends because in my childhood I was often teased and bullied (not very obvious as to be adressed by the adults, but I did scar me. I have symptoms like overly caring about others and not caring enough for myself.
reply
The only thing I remember about my childhood is walking eggshells with my parents with whom I never know when they will burst or when they will be happy. They sometimes were the worst or sometimes were better. I don't remember anything else. Maybe spending time with my uncle who's really good and my grandpa who's the best. I don't want to acknowledge my parents because of the pain they often put me through. And I don't even remember demanding things from my parents, only trying to listen to them and accomodating myself to their 'orders'. When I became a teenager, all this changed where I'm very rebellious and harsh with my parents. So they started blackmailing me to 'behave' by taking away the things I love and saying that 'I'm not fit for it', 'I'm not good enough' etc. I don't know if this is trauma, but I do have difficulties in making friends because in my childhood I was often teased and bullied (not very obvious as to be adressed by the adults, but I did scar me. I have symptoms like overly caring about others and not caring enough for myself.
reply
MissRoxanne123
I have 6 most definitely. I forgot most of my childhood, even the good parts. Some really traumatic events I remember so sometimes I wonder what can be worse than that.
To this day I still have a bad memory. Somebody woud say: Hey remember when we went to that amusement Park 2 years ago? Gone, completely gone. I probably have lost friends because they thought I didn't care about them. I do! But my 'memory bank' is damaged, and can't recall a lot of things, no matter how hard I'll try.
I also have 2: it wasn't safe to express myself, little things I would do, would become this huge horrible deal to them. So they would say/yell it, over and over and over. So why saying or feeling anything at all? It's saver that way.
I'm getting better at saying what I think though. I'm still am confused about some emotions, why I feel this way and why. I block emotions unconsciously, so at times that's why it feels like it comes out of nowhere
reply
I have 6 most definitely. I forgot most of my childhood, even the good parts. Some really traumatic events I remember so sometimes I wonder what can be worse than that.
To this day I still have a bad memory. Somebody woud say: Hey remember when we went to that amusement Park 2 years ago? Gone, completely gone. I probably have lost friends because they thought I didn't care about them. I do! But my 'memory bank' is damaged, and can't recall a lot of things, no matter how hard I'll try.
I also have 2: it wasn't safe to express myself, little things I would do, would become this huge horrible deal to them. So they would say/yell it, over and over and over. So why saying or feeling anything at all? It's saver that way.
I'm getting better at saying what I think though. I'm still am confused about some emotions, why I feel this way and why. I block emotions unconsciously, so at times that's why it feels like it comes out of nowhere
reply
Ed
I really need to say this. When an abuser of yours is really close to a head county prosecutor and as such, despite reporting the perpetrator to said prosecutor and you (the survivor) has been kicked to the curb and the prosecutor is constantly refusing civil lawsuit documentation against him and despite moving to a different county, the person who abused you moves in 4 doors away from you how can you avoid seeing the perpetrator?
I am the abuse survivor, and I have made it clear to local police ( I am a volunteer firefighter and EMT-P, so I have regular interaction) that if any missing persons report is filed for the perpetrator, I quite possibly ended the life of the perpetrator.
I also must note that I have tried counseling many times over more than 15 years and the counselors refuse to help me. The reason counseling doesn't work for me is the therapists won't allow me the means that works for me. The reason is ethical purposes.
reply
I really need to say this. When an abuser of yours is really close to a head county prosecutor and as such, despite reporting the perpetrator to said prosecutor and you (the survivor) has been kicked to the curb and the prosecutor is constantly refusing civil lawsuit documentation against him and despite moving to a different county, the person who abused you moves in 4 doors away from you how can you avoid seeing the perpetrator?
I am the abuse survivor, and I have made it clear to local police ( I am a volunteer firefighter and EMT-P, so I have regular interaction) that if any missing persons report is filed for the perpetrator, I quite possibly ended the life of the perpetrator.
I also must note that I have tried counseling many times over more than 15 years and the counselors refuse to help me. The reason counseling doesn't work for me is the therapists won't allow me the means that works for me. The reason is ethical purposes.
reply
Dandelions
I have 8 symptoms out of these and there are some more:
Feeling extremely lonliness in parties, functions and crowd that I just want to run away. In short, extreme happiness makes me uncomfortable
Always afraid of being selfish or leaving others
I am tired but still I smile like everything is okay and I am unable to open up Even to my parents
I have lost hope in relationship with anyone
It feels like heart pain when my parents fight that my mind makes me feel that the past will repeat again
Even if they are talking and I am able to listen them, it looks that mom will again try suicide the way she tried 10 yrs ago
And many many more
It hurts
reply
I have 8 symptoms out of these and there are some more:
Feeling extremely lonliness in parties, functions and crowd that I just want to run away. In short, extreme happiness makes me uncomfortable
Always afraid of being selfish or leaving others
I am tired but still I smile like everything is okay and I am unable to open up Even to my parents
I have lost hope in relationship with anyone
It feels like heart pain when my parents fight that my mind makes me feel that the past will repeat again
Even if they are talking and I am able to listen them, it looks that mom will again try suicide the way she tried 10 yrs ago
And many many more
It hurts
reply
Dmitri
Most people that I know block such symptoms instead of resolving the issues, forget the traumatizing memories. Does such method make them healthy? The issue is still lurking on the back of their mind. Some people resolve the issue and move on, but the scar from it will stay in the mind forever. That also does not sound too healthy. Is there a better method?
Great video! Very useful. Thank you!
P. S.: Since all trauma is based on our memory, it would be great if we could choose to forget specific things. Our mind somehow does that on its own. So, it would be great if we could actually control that.
reply
Most people that I know block such symptoms instead of resolving the issues, forget the traumatizing memories. Does such method make them healthy? The issue is still lurking on the back of their mind. Some people resolve the issue and move on, but the scar from it will stay in the mind forever. That also does not sound too healthy. Is there a better method?
Great video! Very useful. Thank you!
P. S.: Since all trauma is based on our memory, it would be great if we could choose to forget specific things. Our mind somehow does that on its own. So, it would be great if we could actually control that.
reply
Jonny
The #9 resonates with me And we definitely got spanked as kids old fashioned you know but my mom had a boyfriend and he was an alcoholic and abusive towards my mom and one time towards me and we got in a scuffle I think I was just really scared as a kid cuz I could hear my mom screaming I guess I don't know if that's the reason maybe there's other reasons I don't know I don't know how you figure this stuff out I go to a mental health cognitive behavioral therapist once or twice a month but I'm not sure if it's doing enough
reply
The #9 resonates with me And we definitely got spanked as kids old fashioned you know but my mom had a boyfriend and he was an alcoholic and abusive towards my mom and one time towards me and we got in a scuffle I think I was just really scared as a kid cuz I could hear my mom screaming I guess I don't know if that's the reason maybe there's other reasons I don't know I don't know how you figure this stuff out I go to a mental health cognitive behavioral therapist once or twice a month but I'm not sure if it's doing enough
reply
HowToEatChihuahua
Thanks for making this video, I don't remember anything unther the age of 10, even though I'm 16, I think my mind tried to protect me from memories and thoughts I'd prefer to forget. I do know I was bullied, but that's all, I have a really complex personality, I tend to avoid humans but I make jokes all the time, where some of those are probably really mean. People saying mean thinks to me or saying I'm a a-hole (Wich is kinda often) doesn't affect me at all. If anyone read this thanks for reading it all
reply
Thanks for making this video, I don't remember anything unther the age of 10, even though I'm 16, I think my mind tried to protect me from memories and thoughts I'd prefer to forget. I do know I was bullied, but that's all, I have a really complex personality, I tend to avoid humans but I make jokes all the time, where some of those are probably really mean. People saying mean thinks to me or saying I'm a a-hole (Wich is kinda often) doesn't affect me at all. If anyone read this thanks for reading it all
reply
Astrid
I can relate. I am at the place where I am trying to learn not to need external validation - it's hard. I have looked for approval my whole life because of this trauma and in so many ways this state of being has become my identity. I am trying to figure out how to be and how to be without this as my defining attribute, trying to find meaning. Its a process. Thank you for this video. All the points speak to what Im struggling with.
reply
I can relate. I am at the place where I am trying to learn not to need external validation - it's hard. I have looked for approval my whole life because of this trauma and in so many ways this state of being has become my identity. I am trying to figure out how to be and how to be without this as my defining attribute, trying to find meaning. Its a process. Thank you for this video. All the points speak to what Im struggling with.
reply
S-
Most of the time people's beloved family members hurt him or her and those are so important to him or her. That's why some can not share everything with them cause they do not want to hurt them. Just because people can hurt someone but can no bear the consequences, gulit and shame. That's why, someone may ends up in silence. He or she behaves like Everything is okay. That's why, its not easy to open up your beloved ones.
reply
Most of the time people's beloved family members hurt him or her and those are so important to him or her. That's why some can not share everything with them cause they do not want to hurt them. Just because people can hurt someone but can no bear the consequences, gulit and shame. That's why, someone may ends up in silence. He or she behaves like Everything is okay. That's why, its not easy to open up your beloved ones.
reply
Sabine
When youre trying to convince yourself you dont have trauma but you cant remember the first 11 years of your life and you cry at the slightest bit of aggression you also remember bits and pieces of your childhood most of which you cant remember if their real or if your brain created them pffft totally not me. Great videos btw: )
reply
When youre trying to convince yourself you dont have trauma but you cant remember the first 11 years of your life and you cry at the slightest bit of aggression you also remember bits and pieces of your childhood most of which you cant remember if their real or if your brain created them pffft totally not me. Great videos btw: )
reply
MindfulnessAsia108
You love others even though they don't love you. If you communicate with them, you should be an ambassador of the Supreme Lords unconditional love and forgiveness. If they were mean to you before and are not good to be around, then love them from a distance.
reply
You love others even though they don't love you. If you communicate with them, you should be an ambassador of the Supreme Lords unconditional love and forgiveness. If they were mean to you before and are not good to be around, then love them from a distance.
reply
HistoryRemembers
I've been so worried about seeking external validation when I am depressed that I just isolate myself outright. I'm afraid to ask anyone for help. I'm afraid of becoming codependent. I'm trying my best to improve on myself, though the results are slow.
reply
I've been so worried about seeking external validation when I am depressed that I just isolate myself outright. I'm afraid to ask anyone for help. I'm afraid of becoming codependent. I'm trying my best to improve on myself, though the results are slow.
reply
Roberto
My dad is an alcoholic and I get sick of him screaming at me so much
Even when hes not drinking he still gets mad at me and I know Im crying inside and he doesnt know and I know he also got traumatized my grandpa used to hit him so hard for no reason
reply
My dad is an alcoholic and I get sick of him screaming at me so much
Even when hes not drinking he still gets mad at me and I know Im crying inside and he doesnt know and I know he also got traumatized my grandpa used to hit him so hard for no reason
reply
Lirian
Ive had terrible mental health and relate to almost all of these. I cant remember anything from my childhood. Ive always had a great childhood and family from the stories Ive heard and photos Ive seen. Whats wrong with me? Why am I like this?
reply
Ive had terrible mental health and relate to almost all of these. I cant remember anything from my childhood. Ive always had a great childhood and family from the stories Ive heard and photos Ive seen. Whats wrong with me? Why am I like this?
reply
JOY
This is so real for me, i mean my childhood is not very easy as everyone else haha I became a child labor in my relatives house i mean yeah i got to study but as i grow old I was like wow how did I do all of that? I must be so strong before.
reply
This is so real for me, i mean my childhood is not very easy as everyone else haha I became a child labor in my relatives house i mean yeah i got to study but as i grow old I was like wow how did I do all of that? I must be so strong before.
reply
Brittany
When I was was growing up it was really hard because after my grandmother passed away from lung cancer my mom and Dad got divorced it was hard not being able to see my mom and dad as much because they didnt have time for me
reply
When I was was growing up it was really hard because after my grandmother passed away from lung cancer my mom and Dad got divorced it was hard not being able to see my mom and dad as much because they didnt have time for me
reply
education
Yeah I have severe trauma with other kids bossing me around and telling me what to do. Ive always been walked all over on so I feel like I want to avoid the situation or prepare if I feel like it will ever happen again.
reply
Yeah I have severe trauma with other kids bossing me around and telling me what to do. Ive always been walked all over on so I feel like I want to avoid the situation or prepare if I feel like it will ever happen again.
reply
Mood
Forgetting so much of my life just hit me, I don't remember my childhood life or when I was younger than teen whatsoever I just can't remember them (especially a old friend's name or a major part in my life)
reply
Forgetting so much of my life just hit me, I don't remember my childhood life or when I was younger than teen whatsoever I just can't remember them (especially a old friend's name or a major part in my life)
reply
Diana
How do I deal with self-victimization and feeling incomplete? It took me a while to understand that all my relationships end up failing because of this, not only with family but everyone in me life really
reply
How do I deal with self-victimization and feeling incomplete? It took me a while to understand that all my relationships end up failing because of this, not only with family but everyone in me life really
reply
Ana
Does anyone know ow how to remember repressed memories? I know I had trauma, but I only really one scene of it. If I wanna finally live with it and heal, I wanna learn what happened
reply
Does anyone know ow how to remember repressed memories? I know I had trauma, but I only really one scene of it. If I wanna finally live with it and heal, I wanna learn what happened
reply
AllanC_Me
Im 29 and still recovering from childhood trauma. I only realized it recently. I actually taught that its normal. Until Im healed, I dont think I will ever want a child.
reply
Im 29 and still recovering from childhood trauma. I only realized it recently. I actually taught that its normal. Until Im healed, I dont think I will ever want a child.
reply
Arnab
What do you exactly do when your entirely damn culture supports abusing their children in order for them to toughen up but also stay in their complete control?
reply
What do you exactly do when your entirely damn culture supports abusing their children in order for them to toughen up but also stay in their complete control?
reply
MC
I'm 32 and I can't remember my childhood since I was 10 my sister ask me questions about stuff or if i remember someone from the past and i just can't remember.
reply
I'm 32 and I can't remember my childhood since I was 10 my sister ask me questions about stuff or if i remember someone from the past and i just can't remember.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
