Toxic Relationship Signs
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Cody
Thee funny thing is I'm sure my ex always felt it had to be my way. I checked off some of the issue mentioned my self. but I'm wondering if there should be a caveat to them. I did make all the decisions, and my Ex had resented me, and ridiculed me for making the wrong decisions. and I often got very frustrated in the relationship to the point of just yelling all the time about how angry I w as for not getting what I want. near the end of my relationship I was convinced I was the abusive one, and she guilted me severely for my behavior. It was only after marriage counseling that the counselor brought up that my Ex had opted out of every decision forcing me to decide alone. and as for my anger, the counselor was clear it wasn't acceptable, they also had to point out that my Ex had a bad habit of ignoring my concerns, or demeaning me for having them, and with held affection, intimacy, and passive aggressive ridicule, rather then helping to solve them before they became frustrations. don't get me wrong, I made my mistakes. But should there also be a passive aggressive behavior, or a person who fosters the issues they feel they are a victim of?
I would love to know what people think about this, because I sought help at the end of my relation ship cause I realized I was no longer the person I used to be. I was confused, filled with self loathing, angry and scared. I was brought to the point of genuinely thinking I was the whole problem, and only through mental health intervention, and couples counseling did I realize that while I played my part, I wasn't the only one to blame.
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Thee funny thing is I'm sure my ex always felt it had to be my way. I checked off some of the issue mentioned my self. but I'm wondering if there should be a caveat to them. I did make all the decisions, and my Ex had resented me, and ridiculed me for making the wrong decisions. and I often got very frustrated in the relationship to the point of just yelling all the time about how angry I w as for not getting what I want. near the end of my relationship I was convinced I was the abusive one, and she guilted me severely for my behavior. It was only after marriage counseling that the counselor brought up that my Ex had opted out of every decision forcing me to decide alone. and as for my anger, the counselor was clear it wasn't acceptable, they also had to point out that my Ex had a bad habit of ignoring my concerns, or demeaning me for having them, and with held affection, intimacy, and passive aggressive ridicule, rather then helping to solve them before they became frustrations. don't get me wrong, I made my mistakes. But should there also be a passive aggressive behavior, or a person who fosters the issues they feel they are a victim of?
I would love to know what people think about this, because I sought help at the end of my relation ship cause I realized I was no longer the person I used to be. I was confused, filled with self loathing, angry and scared. I was brought to the point of genuinely thinking I was the whole problem, and only through mental health intervention, and couples counseling did I realize that while I played my part, I wasn't the only one to blame.
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Joey
It feels weird for me to share about my feelings here but. heres a bit of an insight: I LOVE to dance and perform on stage, Ive been dancing since i was 6 yrs old. And I have always dreamed to be a model or at least join some beauty pageant contests while Im still in my 20s.
My boyfriend of 5 years has been telling me that he HATES it whenever Im dancing/performing on stage or when im wearing pretty clothes that are not even revealing (off shoulders, tank tops, leggings etc.
He absolutely hates it when some stranger walks past me and takes a glance at my direction and he would actually blame ME for looking too pretty/wearing clothes that are too revealing because that is the reason why people are staring. His reason being: he doesnt wanna share his gf with another person and he hates attention.
Recently, i found out about a beauty pageant contest in my town and I told him about my dream of being a beauty pageant contestant. He went crazy and threatened to commit suicide by jumping off his apartment balcony if i joined the contest.
I know this sounds crazy, but i really dont know how to break up with a guy like this when he uses suicide as a threat
Can anyone give me some advice?
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It feels weird for me to share about my feelings here but. heres a bit of an insight: I LOVE to dance and perform on stage, Ive been dancing since i was 6 yrs old. And I have always dreamed to be a model or at least join some beauty pageant contests while Im still in my 20s.
My boyfriend of 5 years has been telling me that he HATES it whenever Im dancing/performing on stage or when im wearing pretty clothes that are not even revealing (off shoulders, tank tops, leggings etc.
He absolutely hates it when some stranger walks past me and takes a glance at my direction and he would actually blame ME for looking too pretty/wearing clothes that are too revealing because that is the reason why people are staring. His reason being: he doesnt wanna share his gf with another person and he hates attention.
Recently, i found out about a beauty pageant contest in my town and I told him about my dream of being a beauty pageant contestant. He went crazy and threatened to commit suicide by jumping off his apartment balcony if i joined the contest.
I know this sounds crazy, but i really dont know how to break up with a guy like this when he uses suicide as a threat
Can anyone give me some advice?
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Charles
Im single and it feels like that will never change again.
Dont know if it was me or her, but it was toxic. She gave me the feeling to be nothing, like 'you dont earn enough money, dont drive fat cars, dont have 2 jobs, and thousands of friends'. She started this behaviour after 3 of 4 years, when she started earning more than me. Before that she made me feel very happy in love.
Lost all my contacts, all feelings of fun and good life, even the emotional near to my family, my hobbies felt senseless, just lost my complete self. While trying to get better.
Then she left me for someone with a buisiness. As i saw, her new partner dropped her after 2 weeks, for getting his ex back.
But the feelings all this gave me, especially to feel a big shame, wont go ever. Feeling like a dead person in a living world 5 years now(im 28. Tried so much, but nothing helps. Not new friends, not new partners, not family contact, no new jobs, no new hobbies, also professional help doesnt. Just feel like life scks hard, everyday since that. And its hard to resist suicidal thoughts aswell. :/
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Im single and it feels like that will never change again.
Dont know if it was me or her, but it was toxic. She gave me the feeling to be nothing, like 'you dont earn enough money, dont drive fat cars, dont have 2 jobs, and thousands of friends'. She started this behaviour after 3 of 4 years, when she started earning more than me. Before that she made me feel very happy in love.
Lost all my contacts, all feelings of fun and good life, even the emotional near to my family, my hobbies felt senseless, just lost my complete self. While trying to get better.
Then she left me for someone with a buisiness. As i saw, her new partner dropped her after 2 weeks, for getting his ex back.
But the feelings all this gave me, especially to feel a big shame, wont go ever. Feeling like a dead person in a living world 5 years now(im 28. Tried so much, but nothing helps. Not new friends, not new partners, not family contact, no new jobs, no new hobbies, also professional help doesnt. Just feel like life scks hard, everyday since that. And its hard to resist suicidal thoughts aswell. :/
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Kekyoin
Oof. I wanna leave but I can't. It hurts me but I can't exactly just leave. He pisses me off and wont do anything for the relationship because his mom literally runs his life. We're adults and I just can't take it anymore. I'm the only one with a job. I barely get to see him. I want out but he uses guilt to bring me back. I barely talk to him. It's been 4 years. I don't know who I am anymore. I run off with random people just to feel something. (not cheating but to chill with friends) I stay thinking it'll change but I'm always wrong. I have a hard time saying no. I hate it. I don't want to meet other people. I don't want to have to hide who I am and my quirks just to impress new people and slowly ease into my true self once they show they're legit and genuine. I don't like making new relationships because I'm scared they'll leave. I know he's looking at other women on his damn phone when I've expressed multiple times I'm uncomfortable and it makes me feel like I'm not enough. I took to restricting food from myself and over exercising last year bc of it. Idk what to even do anymore
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Oof. I wanna leave but I can't. It hurts me but I can't exactly just leave. He pisses me off and wont do anything for the relationship because his mom literally runs his life. We're adults and I just can't take it anymore. I'm the only one with a job. I barely get to see him. I want out but he uses guilt to bring me back. I barely talk to him. It's been 4 years. I don't know who I am anymore. I run off with random people just to feel something. (not cheating but to chill with friends) I stay thinking it'll change but I'm always wrong. I have a hard time saying no. I hate it. I don't want to meet other people. I don't want to have to hide who I am and my quirks just to impress new people and slowly ease into my true self once they show they're legit and genuine. I don't like making new relationships because I'm scared they'll leave. I know he's looking at other women on his damn phone when I've expressed multiple times I'm uncomfortable and it makes me feel like I'm not enough. I took to restricting food from myself and over exercising last year bc of it. Idk what to even do anymore
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Katy
I'm here to say that i just got out of a toxic relationship.
This video, among others, helped me recognize these red flags. I watched it way long ago [before the relationship] and even if it took a while for me to really set my mind and recognize that something was wrong it really helped me admit that this was not ok and eventually I had to get out of there.
Even if you don't see a toxic relationship right away, remember that the important thing is that you regonize this flaws and don't let anyone manipulate you into thinking that 'love can deal with everything' or anything like this.
If you're not comfortable, tell them, and if they don't respect that, they don't deserve you. Plain and simple.
No one should feel trapped with someone if they're not fully sure or comfortable. And even if it takes a while, don't be afraid to ve direct, ask for help, or seek a professional.
I wish you all a good day and happy lives
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I'm here to say that i just got out of a toxic relationship.
This video, among others, helped me recognize these red flags. I watched it way long ago [before the relationship] and even if it took a while for me to really set my mind and recognize that something was wrong it really helped me admit that this was not ok and eventually I had to get out of there.
Even if you don't see a toxic relationship right away, remember that the important thing is that you regonize this flaws and don't let anyone manipulate you into thinking that 'love can deal with everything' or anything like this.
If you're not comfortable, tell them, and if they don't respect that, they don't deserve you. Plain and simple.
No one should feel trapped with someone if they're not fully sure or comfortable. And even if it takes a while, don't be afraid to ve direct, ask for help, or seek a professional.
I wish you all a good day and happy lives
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GoatPaws
Really wish this video at least mentioned that you can TALK to your partner about these things and work together to improve and heal a relationship instead of just dumping them at the first sign of dysfunction. It's not like a lot of these issues can't be fixed with communication, especially finding a comfortable balance with interdependence, which literally requires trial and error and open communication to find what works for both parties involved. Don't encourage people to make rash decisions like this without at least reminding them that these issues aren't a death sentence for a relationship and things CAN get better. Giving this a thumbs down, any relationship advice that doesn't even suggest using communication to get past these problems is bad advice.
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Really wish this video at least mentioned that you can TALK to your partner about these things and work together to improve and heal a relationship instead of just dumping them at the first sign of dysfunction. It's not like a lot of these issues can't be fixed with communication, especially finding a comfortable balance with interdependence, which literally requires trial and error and open communication to find what works for both parties involved. Don't encourage people to make rash decisions like this without at least reminding them that these issues aren't a death sentence for a relationship and things CAN get better. Giving this a thumbs down, any relationship advice that doesn't even suggest using communication to get past these problems is bad advice.
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Hitchhiking
It's sad when you want to have NO PART in ANY relationship with a person to whom you've been acquainted to unfortunately and they have this type of attachment towards you any way. It's even more dangerous when they do narcotics, are an alcoholic, and have multiple personality flaws and potentially undiagnosed disorders and conditions, and is good at creating a story based on lies and deceit and use gaslighting to present the facts as past tense when really it's a plan of action in the present.
Making it about them also entails things like about being the better person, worker, making money, even a victim. The scary fact is when it's a competition. This is where things get pernicious, because the attention is based in negative or positive.
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It's sad when you want to have NO PART in ANY relationship with a person to whom you've been acquainted to unfortunately and they have this type of attachment towards you any way. It's even more dangerous when they do narcotics, are an alcoholic, and have multiple personality flaws and potentially undiagnosed disorders and conditions, and is good at creating a story based on lies and deceit and use gaslighting to present the facts as past tense when really it's a plan of action in the present.
Making it about them also entails things like about being the better person, worker, making money, even a victim. The scary fact is when it's a competition. This is where things get pernicious, because the attention is based in negative or positive.
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sonja9mm
I have been dating this man for a couple of years now, he moved in with me when his house flooded 2 yrs ago, we have been through a lot together death of parents the death of my mother last year during a hurricane, floods and all, but am I bad to say he hasnt really held a job since. When I have worked the whole time and I have been responsible for a lot financially. he gets mad at me and tells me all I think about is money makes me feel like crap he tells me I dont care about him and unfortunately I have lost a lot of respect for him but he acts like everything is ok, he will not pick up after himself. Im a mess Im scared to say anything because he makes me feel so bad.
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I have been dating this man for a couple of years now, he moved in with me when his house flooded 2 yrs ago, we have been through a lot together death of parents the death of my mother last year during a hurricane, floods and all, but am I bad to say he hasnt really held a job since. When I have worked the whole time and I have been responsible for a lot financially. he gets mad at me and tells me all I think about is money makes me feel like crap he tells me I dont care about him and unfortunately I have lost a lot of respect for him but he acts like everything is ok, he will not pick up after himself. Im a mess Im scared to say anything because he makes me feel so bad.
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Regular
I couldn't help but think of the show Pucca. The show may be iconic to a lot of people's childhoods, but it honestly portrays Pucca as a bad example of how girls aren't supposed to behave while being in a relationship. She literally chases Garu nonstop to keep smothering him with kisses and cuddling. She always assumes his habit of running away from her is his way of playing hard to get. Although he's always liked her, he obviously had hoped she would finally learn to respect his boundaries and give him a break from spending too much time together.
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I couldn't help but think of the show Pucca. The show may be iconic to a lot of people's childhoods, but it honestly portrays Pucca as a bad example of how girls aren't supposed to behave while being in a relationship. She literally chases Garu nonstop to keep smothering him with kisses and cuddling. She always assumes his habit of running away from her is his way of playing hard to get. Although he's always liked her, he obviously had hoped she would finally learn to respect his boundaries and give him a break from spending too much time together.
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AgentCucco
It's weird to see this video after breaking up with my ex and both of us realizing we had most of these issues on our own. Well I had some and she had some I mean.
It's just hard to give up knowing we can (and have) learn from these mistakes and are working on fixing them on our own lives, but not as a team like we used to. Well sorta, it's hard and complicated, giving up on someone you love even when knowing deep down that they're not the best for you.
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It's weird to see this video after breaking up with my ex and both of us realizing we had most of these issues on our own. Well I had some and she had some I mean.
It's just hard to give up knowing we can (and have) learn from these mistakes and are working on fixing them on our own lives, but not as a team like we used to. Well sorta, it's hard and complicated, giving up on someone you love even when knowing deep down that they're not the best for you.
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education
These aren't toxic these are one side of the relationship being more of a sub than a dom. That does NOT mean toxicity. This person would be on the sub spectrum in any relationship. Some people can't make decisions, ever, about where to go to eat. So one partner handles it. It's perfectly reasonable and expected to invite your partner to things you're invited to - you did not say they only invite you to things, but you're inferring it.
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These aren't toxic these are one side of the relationship being more of a sub than a dom. That does NOT mean toxicity. This person would be on the sub spectrum in any relationship. Some people can't make decisions, ever, about where to go to eat. So one partner handles it. It's perfectly reasonable and expected to invite your partner to things you're invited to - you did not say they only invite you to things, but you're inferring it.
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Pingguuuyah
when you get rid of a toxic relationship it feels good. But the people who will you meet will be affected, trust issues, being too emotional, overthinking, and we become sensitive. sometimes we got the toxicity because of our past, but then we need a partner to gradually understand us, feel secure and gain out trusts. its not a fast phase, but a step by step so we can had a peace of mind in our new and next relationships
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when you get rid of a toxic relationship it feels good. But the people who will you meet will be affected, trust issues, being too emotional, overthinking, and we become sensitive. sometimes we got the toxicity because of our past, but then we need a partner to gradually understand us, feel secure and gain out trusts. its not a fast phase, but a step by step so we can had a peace of mind in our new and next relationships
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magentapyramid924
You hit the nail on the head when you stated that maybe you need to work on your relationship with yourself before moving on to a new relationship with someone else.
I left my ex-husband in 1995 - I've been single ever since. Never looked back. At least I know that when I talk to myself I'll be guaranteed to get a superior, more intelligent response than I ever did with any of my exes and/or family members.
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You hit the nail on the head when you stated that maybe you need to work on your relationship with yourself before moving on to a new relationship with someone else.
I left my ex-husband in 1995 - I've been single ever since. Never looked back. At least I know that when I talk to myself I'll be guaranteed to get a superior, more intelligent response than I ever did with any of my exes and/or family members.
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KaioBest
Me and my GF are both pretty dependent of each other, but, we always respect our space, I always try to be with her and she also trys to be with me, but when we cant we talk with each other, I sometimes go to my friends house, he has his sister but I dont give a damn about his sister and she knows that and trusts me, I couldnt find a better girlfriend
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Me and my GF are both pretty dependent of each other, but, we always respect our space, I always try to be with her and she also trys to be with me, but when we cant we talk with each other, I sometimes go to my friends house, he has his sister but I dont give a damn about his sister and she knows that and trusts me, I couldnt find a better girlfriend
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Angelus_Solus
I had to laugh at the bit about keeping your own identity. After being single and alone for 14 years, I don't even know who I am any more. It's like this: Being alone increased my perception. But when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. There was no need to define myself and I became irrelevant in the universe.
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I had to laugh at the bit about keeping your own identity. After being single and alone for 14 years, I don't even know who I am any more. It's like this: Being alone increased my perception. But when I applied my increased perception to myself, I lost my identity. There was no need to define myself and I became irrelevant in the universe.
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Ivy
Cant break up because once he mentioned that you might see me on the headlines of newspaper.
He also said you wont see me no more, Ill go far away
People always sees him as an innocent person but deep down Im just drowning from his attitude or his true side. So sorry if he sees this but I also have feelings to be alive in this world
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Cant break up because once he mentioned that you might see me on the headlines of newspaper.
He also said you wont see me no more, Ill go far away
People always sees him as an innocent person but deep down Im just drowning from his attitude or his true side. So sorry if he sees this but I also have feelings to be alive in this world
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Ayani
So happy to got off a toxic relationship, no wonder my Mom is against him and the family (including extended fam) do not agree with the relationship. They saw the red flags that i was too blind to see. I thank my family and my Lord for the guidance and strength. I hope someone in a toxic relationship can get out too and find happiness
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So happy to got off a toxic relationship, no wonder my Mom is against him and the family (including extended fam) do not agree with the relationship. They saw the red flags that i was too blind to see. I thank my family and my Lord for the guidance and strength. I hope someone in a toxic relationship can get out too and find happiness
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Rikki
Hi All! I need some quick help: I'm doing some research on Toxic Love Relationships and would love to do a 20 minute interview with anyone who has dealt with, or is dealing with, this issue. I promise I'm NOT selling anything! I just want to learn from your wisdom. Comment here if you are willing, and I will then DM you. Thank you!
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Hi All! I need some quick help: I'm doing some research on Toxic Love Relationships and would love to do a 20 minute interview with anyone who has dealt with, or is dealing with, this issue. I promise I'm NOT selling anything! I just want to learn from your wisdom. Comment here if you are willing, and I will then DM you. Thank you!
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Conaday
You know I have a hard time doing what I need to do and I want. To get out and. Enjoy life again but I struggle to do things apart and and with my partner Me and my partner Cue get separation she goes to CE and I try to do what I need to do but I struggle with that I try to make things a level playing filed with my partner
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You know I have a hard time doing what I need to do and I want. To get out and. Enjoy life again but I struggle to do things apart and and with my partner Me and my partner Cue get separation she goes to CE and I try to do what I need to do but I struggle with that I try to make things a level playing filed with my partner
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Xav
Well, Idk I really love them, ik their upbringing is really bad and thats what caused the way they acted. i just dont know what i can do more to help them since we're in long distance relationship and we've never met eachother irl, i've been in this relationship for 2 years now almost three ig
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Well, Idk I really love them, ik their upbringing is really bad and thats what caused the way they acted. i just dont know what i can do more to help them since we're in long distance relationship and we've never met eachother irl, i've been in this relationship for 2 years now almost three ig
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Atticus
My partner was exactly like how you described. What happened later was when they called me and said they had something to deal with and she couldn't deal with me at the same time. I've not heard from her since. :( I'm looking for new people but sometimes I still think about her.
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My partner was exactly like how you described. What happened later was when they called me and said they had something to deal with and she couldn't deal with me at the same time. I've not heard from her since. :( I'm looking for new people but sometimes I still think about her.
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MEGS480
The girl I loved, she would pull me into loving her again, and immediately be detached and dont care, I would try to cuddle or lean on her but she would just stare at her phone, and every time I broke it off she came crawling back begging for that love again. #toxic
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The girl I loved, she would pull me into loving her again, and immediately be detached and dont care, I would try to cuddle or lean on her but she would just stare at her phone, and every time I broke it off she came crawling back begging for that love again. #toxic
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Monke
This might not be the place, but I've got a question for my pal the internet. When my last relationship(and my first long relationship) ended not so well. I've kinda forgot how you know you actually like someone, how do you?
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This might not be the place, but I've got a question for my pal the internet. When my last relationship(and my first long relationship) ended not so well. I've kinda forgot how you know you actually like someone, how do you?
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Five
My GF 100%. Can't leave her, I love her. Tried to talk about this but end up in a fight and she never admitted that she's toxic. I don't know what to do. I can't even talk to my friends because of her getting mad.
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My GF 100%. Can't leave her, I love her. Tried to talk about this but end up in a fight and she never admitted that she's toxic. I don't know what to do. I can't even talk to my friends because of her getting mad.
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Unhealthy_
I'm in several toxic relationships and possibly have a detachment disorder. But I can't leave my toxic friends because I know I'll never fit in anywhere else. And no hecking way am I looking like a loser.
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I'm in several toxic relationships and possibly have a detachment disorder. But I can't leave my toxic friends because I know I'll never fit in anywhere else. And no hecking way am I looking like a loser.
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