5 Ways Positivity Can Hurt Your Mental Health
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
De4d: Tears_
ive been forced to live like this my whole life by my toxic and gaslighting family who is emotionally abuses me. when i was younger i always question my own thoughts and well being and feelings. i always get confused if im feeling fine or not i always believed my family when they always say there's nothing wrong with you you just being dramatic everything hurts your feelings and also say its just a joke jeez but the words my family and my siblings say when i was younger hurted me and left me crying in my room alone where no one is with me since people in my family think thts wht every kid does just want attention and think i was just being dramatic when i was younger my emotional state went really far worse from tht point on in life now im suicidal and thinking when im going to die. but now my family thinks they never did such a thing when i was a kid and acting like there there for me im tired of this bull crap there still the same-
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ive been forced to live like this my whole life by my toxic and gaslighting family who is emotionally abuses me. when i was younger i always question my own thoughts and well being and feelings. i always get confused if im feeling fine or not i always believed my family when they always say there's nothing wrong with you you just being dramatic everything hurts your feelings and also say its just a joke jeez but the words my family and my siblings say when i was younger hurted me and left me crying in my room alone where no one is with me since people in my family think thts wht every kid does just want attention and think i was just being dramatic when i was younger my emotional state went really far worse from tht point on in life now im suicidal and thinking when im going to die. but now my family thinks they never did such a thing when i was a kid and acting like there there for me im tired of this bull crap there still the same-
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Alyse
I need to know is it the same thing when someone is constantly asking you if you're happy when you have a lot of things going wrong or not going the way you want all at once?
Example: you start a new project on your home that reveal other issues that have to be taken care of before you can finish. Financial set backs, returns are made, mistakes happen and then one small thing is fixed and they ask you aren't you happy you got this fixed? I bet your happy now are you happy now And this happens any time one small thing is completed with the over all project. And it's not that you aren't happy about the progress it's that there's no room to dwell when more work has to be done.
This happened to me and it felt like they were being passive aggressive about things that were out of my control and trying to do things in a positive way. Or that they were uncomfortable with my continual frustration and trying to make light of the situation.
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I need to know is it the same thing when someone is constantly asking you if you're happy when you have a lot of things going wrong or not going the way you want all at once?
Example: you start a new project on your home that reveal other issues that have to be taken care of before you can finish. Financial set backs, returns are made, mistakes happen and then one small thing is fixed and they ask you aren't you happy you got this fixed? I bet your happy now are you happy now And this happens any time one small thing is completed with the over all project. And it's not that you aren't happy about the progress it's that there's no room to dwell when more work has to be done.
This happened to me and it felt like they were being passive aggressive about things that were out of my control and trying to do things in a positive way. Or that they were uncomfortable with my continual frustration and trying to make light of the situation.
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SEAN
But what if Im forced into an environment where I feel like no one will understand me (school? I understand that it can be toxic but Im just trying to spread positivity, sometimes masking my true feelings is necessary because if I wore my emotions on my sleeve like this all the time in this environment, that would make people see me as sad and unapproachable because they wont understand it, which will make them feel less comfortable. Also Im only 14 and Im pretty mature for my age (and especially for my school. How can I be this true self around everyone? For me most of this is not toxic, it is purely a coping mechanism for me and others around me which has proven effective. I am not doing it for acceptance, I am doing it for mine and other peoples wellbeing. Id greatly appreciate it if someone can see this and offer me some advice. Im not arguing against anything in this video, Im just trying to offer my point of view.
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But what if Im forced into an environment where I feel like no one will understand me (school? I understand that it can be toxic but Im just trying to spread positivity, sometimes masking my true feelings is necessary because if I wore my emotions on my sleeve like this all the time in this environment, that would make people see me as sad and unapproachable because they wont understand it, which will make them feel less comfortable. Also Im only 14 and Im pretty mature for my age (and especially for my school. How can I be this true self around everyone? For me most of this is not toxic, it is purely a coping mechanism for me and others around me which has proven effective. I am not doing it for acceptance, I am doing it for mine and other peoples wellbeing. Id greatly appreciate it if someone can see this and offer me some advice. Im not arguing against anything in this video, Im just trying to offer my point of view.
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pSyco
This is what i need, a nice calming voice in my ear telling me the negativity i carry with myself is bad, but also telling me that there's nothing wrong with not being positive all the time. i feel happy sometimes, i feel not happy at all sometimes & the only person who can change that is me. i may not ALWAYS carry a positive mindset, but i shouldn't be told to be positive, to make me feel worse about my battle with negativity and positivity. i need to be able to understand my emotions, talking about how im feeling is hard enough. im not the best when it comes to expressing myself verbally. no one really gets it, its not an excuse its real, but that's for me to come to terms with on my own. this battle is better fought alone, no one in sight, just you, because there's always someone who looks from the outside in.
im closing the blinds.
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This is what i need, a nice calming voice in my ear telling me the negativity i carry with myself is bad, but also telling me that there's nothing wrong with not being positive all the time. i feel happy sometimes, i feel not happy at all sometimes & the only person who can change that is me. i may not ALWAYS carry a positive mindset, but i shouldn't be told to be positive, to make me feel worse about my battle with negativity and positivity. i need to be able to understand my emotions, talking about how im feeling is hard enough. im not the best when it comes to expressing myself verbally. no one really gets it, its not an excuse its real, but that's for me to come to terms with on my own. this battle is better fought alone, no one in sight, just you, because there's always someone who looks from the outside in.
im closing the blinds.
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DJ
Ive always said, Im fine, or, Dont worry, and, Its okay, was something that I have said for years because I hated crying in front of the people around me. Like for example, I have been dubbed the crybaby of my family because of my sensitive personality, like if I see, do, or say something I immediately start crying because of no reason or there is a reason. Like if Im mad/sad at the same time I just ball my eyes out because thats all I can do. Everyone always tells me to have, high hopes, or be more positive but when doing so a negative reaction happens. Like being nice all the time has really been annoying for me because even if I wanted to be mean I just cant because no one wants me to change. I can say this, the last time I was truly ever happy was when life wasnt always playing tricks with me.
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Ive always said, Im fine, or, Dont worry, and, Its okay, was something that I have said for years because I hated crying in front of the people around me. Like for example, I have been dubbed the crybaby of my family because of my sensitive personality, like if I see, do, or say something I immediately start crying because of no reason or there is a reason. Like if Im mad/sad at the same time I just ball my eyes out because thats all I can do. Everyone always tells me to have, high hopes, or be more positive but when doing so a negative reaction happens. Like being nice all the time has really been annoying for me because even if I wanted to be mean I just cant because no one wants me to change. I can say this, the last time I was truly ever happy was when life wasnt always playing tricks with me.
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Misty
I'am always having mood swings: ( today's felt really trumatized and upset and sad. I'm always trying to think positive and compare myself to Flmaingo/Albert, the you tier, he always shows to not care and just find toxicity funny and actually makes it funny in roblox, and I've put in the effort to try and feel more like myself and laugh at toxic people. but today that Didn't happen. my avatar on roblox has bacon hair and fem clothing because I identify as non-binary and hate being called girl terms, I rather male terms and gender neutral terms, they/them and sometimes he/him, never ever she/her, my family are transphobic. and I always come across transphobic people in roblox, but today I had enough of them, I got so mad and upset about it: ( that screams toxic positivity right?
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I'am always having mood swings: ( today's felt really trumatized and upset and sad. I'm always trying to think positive and compare myself to Flmaingo/Albert, the you tier, he always shows to not care and just find toxicity funny and actually makes it funny in roblox, and I've put in the effort to try and feel more like myself and laugh at toxic people. but today that Didn't happen. my avatar on roblox has bacon hair and fem clothing because I identify as non-binary and hate being called girl terms, I rather male terms and gender neutral terms, they/them and sometimes he/him, never ever she/her, my family are transphobic. and I always come across transphobic people in roblox, but today I had enough of them, I got so mad and upset about it: ( that screams toxic positivity right?
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Reilly-K
Part of genuine positivity is empathy. Empathy can be painful at times. Many would rather avoid feeling empathetic pain. Toxic positivity is a self assurance that others' problems aren't actually all that bad, so you don't have to feel so bad about it yourself. It's a mechanism of self-comfort at the expense of others. When people say things like just be positive, they're distancing themselves. Avoiding empathy. And being on the other end of that hurts. It feels like being left alone.
Part of genuine positivity is understanding and accepting that things are rough, and that it's okay to feel bad. Empathy doesn't make the pain go away, but that's kind of the point. Validation. Support. Sometimes we need those assurances that we're loved and not alone.
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Part of genuine positivity is empathy. Empathy can be painful at times. Many would rather avoid feeling empathetic pain. Toxic positivity is a self assurance that others' problems aren't actually all that bad, so you don't have to feel so bad about it yourself. It's a mechanism of self-comfort at the expense of others. When people say things like just be positive, they're distancing themselves. Avoiding empathy. And being on the other end of that hurts. It feels like being left alone.
Part of genuine positivity is understanding and accepting that things are rough, and that it's okay to feel bad. Empathy doesn't make the pain go away, but that's kind of the point. Validation. Support. Sometimes we need those assurances that we're loved and not alone.
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JR
I like to talk about my feelings honestly, about my worries from the past and worries of what may occur in the future. I hate when people say I expend unecessary energy obsessing about things I can't change (they say I can change myself. They may be correct some of the time. but not all cases are they correct.
I think positive thinking is good and helpful. but we can't ignore our real feelings either.
For example, if I lose someone (or something) in life that means a lot to me, I want to feel upset about it, I don't want to necessarily find a positive in it. Will I be hopeful for the future, of course. But I won't be dishonest about it either. because some things you lose may be hard to get over.
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I like to talk about my feelings honestly, about my worries from the past and worries of what may occur in the future. I hate when people say I expend unecessary energy obsessing about things I can't change (they say I can change myself. They may be correct some of the time. but not all cases are they correct.
I think positive thinking is good and helpful. but we can't ignore our real feelings either.
For example, if I lose someone (or something) in life that means a lot to me, I want to feel upset about it, I don't want to necessarily find a positive in it. Will I be hopeful for the future, of course. But I won't be dishonest about it either. because some things you lose may be hard to get over.
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janae
From a very young age my folks instilled in me that I should mask my autistic behaviours to fit in with others. It has caused me so much hurt and now as an adult I have serious issues with my own mental health. And so as a direct result of this I tend to push my sadness and anger down as far as it will go and then it blows up in my face. Especially when I'm grieving for a close friend of mine who died on mother's day this year. I was told not to make a scene with my tears. I'm suffering from insomnia and suicidal thoughts. I can't even trust shrinks and talk therapists either because they give me crappy advice.
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From a very young age my folks instilled in me that I should mask my autistic behaviours to fit in with others. It has caused me so much hurt and now as an adult I have serious issues with my own mental health. And so as a direct result of this I tend to push my sadness and anger down as far as it will go and then it blows up in my face. Especially when I'm grieving for a close friend of mine who died on mother's day this year. I was told not to make a scene with my tears. I'm suffering from insomnia and suicidal thoughts. I can't even trust shrinks and talk therapists either because they give me crappy advice.
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Shattered
I had to deal with toxic positivity all my life even at age 5 i was suffering from depression but my family made it vary clear that my bad emotions were not needed so I was forced to be the happy child and when ever there is a family decision to go out everyone elses gets to add their opinion but when I try to say anything they dont even notice or if I show signs that I want to stay home for once my mom will just get mad at me. Im the youngest child so Im constantly getting pushed to the side and ignored. Sorry for the paragraph I just had to get that off my chest.
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I had to deal with toxic positivity all my life even at age 5 i was suffering from depression but my family made it vary clear that my bad emotions were not needed so I was forced to be the happy child and when ever there is a family decision to go out everyone elses gets to add their opinion but when I try to say anything they dont even notice or if I show signs that I want to stay home for once my mom will just get mad at me. Im the youngest child so Im constantly getting pushed to the side and ignored. Sorry for the paragraph I just had to get that off my chest.
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psych2go
I do this a lot. if I cry I say Stop, Stop, stop Or Theyll see you! I smile even after Ive lost something dear. When I used to get a little upset about a joke that wasnt quiet funny I would get told to Suck it up Or Learn yo take a joke! I now have this mask on always where I smile and laugh even with the ones who hurt me the most. I think that maybe I can show my emotions? They wont judge me. There good people! But i always self consciously stop myself. My anxiety piles up and a minor income can lead up me full on falling apart when everyone leaves.
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I do this a lot. if I cry I say Stop, Stop, stop Or Theyll see you! I smile even after Ive lost something dear. When I used to get a little upset about a joke that wasnt quiet funny I would get told to Suck it up Or Learn yo take a joke! I now have this mask on always where I smile and laugh even with the ones who hurt me the most. I think that maybe I can show my emotions? They wont judge me. There good people! But i always self consciously stop myself. My anxiety piles up and a minor income can lead up me full on falling apart when everyone leaves.
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Japanthewoman
I've definitely been guilty of encouraging people to look on the bright side or to focus on something positive as a way to get out of feeling sad instead of allowing them the time to process the emotion. But I know it's ok to not be ok. I've had days where I needed to spend some time with negative emotions, feel them, and then let it pass. So I try to remember people process things differently and go at different paces. When I see someone experiencing negative emotions, I want them to feel happy again, but it has to be on their terms, not mine.
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I've definitely been guilty of encouraging people to look on the bright side or to focus on something positive as a way to get out of feeling sad instead of allowing them the time to process the emotion. But I know it's ok to not be ok. I've had days where I needed to spend some time with negative emotions, feel them, and then let it pass. So I try to remember people process things differently and go at different paces. When I see someone experiencing negative emotions, I want them to feel happy again, but it has to be on their terms, not mine.
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trivy
I hate it when there is always that one person that tries to tell me that my feelings, experiences, and outlook on life is invalid even though they never lived in my shoes but they still think they could act like theirs has more merit because mine is 'too negative'. I have a feeling these people are very insecure, because whenever someone is having a bad time, they have the selfishness to act like those people who are going through a rough time are the assholes because it hurts their forced 'positive vibes'. It's truly insufferable.
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I hate it when there is always that one person that tries to tell me that my feelings, experiences, and outlook on life is invalid even though they never lived in my shoes but they still think they could act like theirs has more merit because mine is 'too negative'. I have a feeling these people are very insecure, because whenever someone is having a bad time, they have the selfishness to act like those people who are going through a rough time are the assholes because it hurts their forced 'positive vibes'. It's truly insufferable.
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Nate
For me i sorta relate. I will never force positivity onto people, cos i dont wanna treat them like i'm treated. But stuff like oh you'll be fine it'll be ok there's nothing to worry about is really crushing, especially stuff like draw a line under it. or just get over it now. I feel like i can't worry about anything or feel sad, because others get uncomfy with it. So i just give myself the most positive persona i can, at least on the internet. Positivity isn't always the answer, but i just can't follow that advice myself now.
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For me i sorta relate. I will never force positivity onto people, cos i dont wanna treat them like i'm treated. But stuff like oh you'll be fine it'll be ok there's nothing to worry about is really crushing, especially stuff like draw a line under it. or just get over it now. I feel like i can't worry about anything or feel sad, because others get uncomfy with it. So i just give myself the most positive persona i can, at least on the internet. Positivity isn't always the answer, but i just can't follow that advice myself now.
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Wendi
I do many of these things due to constant shaming for my feelings, you shouldn't feel that way or you should feel this way, not how you do. Also the ignoring of my feelings leads me to feeling guilty over feeling guilty, or upset. But, I've learned to think this way from constant bombardment from the society and culture. I've got to nearly constantly remind myself of toxic positivity and stop making myself feel unnecessarily ungrateful for things i have no control over, even if it's my own thoughts and emotions.
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I do many of these things due to constant shaming for my feelings, you shouldn't feel that way or you should feel this way, not how you do. Also the ignoring of my feelings leads me to feeling guilty over feeling guilty, or upset. But, I've learned to think this way from constant bombardment from the society and culture. I've got to nearly constantly remind myself of toxic positivity and stop making myself feel unnecessarily ungrateful for things i have no control over, even if it's my own thoughts and emotions.
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Gwanny18
I used to have friends who always say ''i support you, i will fix you''. I don't know why but it always makes me angry. I'm not a machine you can ''fix''. I am who I am. I'm also a humain, I just have more downs than most people. But those friends will not allow me to shed a tear without saying I'm being dramatic or childish about a situation. Should I feel guilty for being myself? I feel like that's what people around me expect me to be. to feel guilty for being sad, angry, disappointed. Good video though.
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I used to have friends who always say ''i support you, i will fix you''. I don't know why but it always makes me angry. I'm not a machine you can ''fix''. I am who I am. I'm also a humain, I just have more downs than most people. But those friends will not allow me to shed a tear without saying I'm being dramatic or childish about a situation. Should I feel guilty for being myself? I feel like that's what people around me expect me to be. to feel guilty for being sad, angry, disappointed. Good video though.
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Theboimangirlgal
What if I'm just naturally happy all the time and laugh things off? There isn't anything wrong with that. Or is there? DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN. Also, I'm really the only person I tell to be positive. Can you guess why I don't cry often? a) I cry all my tears out at home so I don't cry in public. b) I try to be as positive as possible. c) I don't have anything sad going on in my life.
I just put a weird random question lol
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What if I'm just naturally happy all the time and laugh things off? There isn't anything wrong with that. Or is there? DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN. Also, I'm really the only person I tell to be positive. Can you guess why I don't cry often? a) I cry all my tears out at home so I don't cry in public. b) I try to be as positive as possible. c) I don't have anything sad going on in my life.
I just put a weird random question lol
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AerialXArtist
Its really irritating because I have 2 friends at my school and, dont get me wrong, they are SUPER awesome and nice, but they always say Im so negative all the time and I just need to be more positive. I cant exactly help it I just feel down and sad all the time. They always joke around with me and say Heeeey dont be negative againnn! I wish I could just tell them to stop, but Im just scared to for some reason.
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Its really irritating because I have 2 friends at my school and, dont get me wrong, they are SUPER awesome and nice, but they always say Im so negative all the time and I just need to be more positive. I cant exactly help it I just feel down and sad all the time. They always joke around with me and say Heeeey dont be negative againnn! I wish I could just tell them to stop, but Im just scared to for some reason.
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Sienna
Pretending everything is ok, brushing off problems with, it couldve been worse. Being ashamed of feeling negative emotions, this is all things I can relate too. I just want to be happy, and Ive seen myself be happy, even when its not forced. I love being happy, and I enjoy laughing. I am working on opening myself up to other emotions, but its not always easy.
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Pretending everything is ok, brushing off problems with, it couldve been worse. Being ashamed of feeling negative emotions, this is all things I can relate too. I just want to be happy, and Ive seen myself be happy, even when its not forced. I love being happy, and I enjoy laughing. I am working on opening myself up to other emotions, but its not always easy.
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Donnie
What people dont get is your heart, soul and mind is just as real as your physical body and can become just as ill, scarred, hurt and traumatized aswell. Toxic positivity is literally murdering people who are struggling and suffering and fighting to live and people commiting these murders are doing it gleefully with creepy fake smiles
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What people dont get is your heart, soul and mind is just as real as your physical body and can become just as ill, scarred, hurt and traumatized aswell. Toxic positivity is literally murdering people who are struggling and suffering and fighting to live and people commiting these murders are doing it gleefully with creepy fake smiles
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William
Rewatching this video, I came to a realization. I may be toxic, but Im nowhere NEAR as bad as one of my current managers. (At the time of writing this comment)
I dunno what happened, but there were a couple of times where his positive facade was broken and I was around to see it. Frankly, I dont like that side of him.
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Rewatching this video, I came to a realization. I may be toxic, but Im nowhere NEAR as bad as one of my current managers. (At the time of writing this comment)
I dunno what happened, but there were a couple of times where his positive facade was broken and I was around to see it. Frankly, I dont like that side of him.
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Claudia
i've had people in my life say you could try smiling and seeing how things turn out for you, that's life. figure it out yourself, it's called 'tough love' for a reason, cry about it, stop being so sensitive, if you would just think about the positives, you wouldn't feel so crappy all the time, (that's a bummer.
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i've had people in my life say you could try smiling and seeing how things turn out for you, that's life. figure it out yourself, it's called 'tough love' for a reason, cry about it, stop being so sensitive, if you would just think about the positives, you wouldn't feel so crappy all the time, (that's a bummer.
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MattsMovieMagic
I think I developed a bad case of toxic positivity during my sophomore year in high school. I was so depressed during my senior year that I was so tired of it that I'd just fake being happy. Only problem is that it all came crashing down on me in the end. Almost had an emotional breakdown.
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I think I developed a bad case of toxic positivity during my sophomore year in high school. I was so depressed during my senior year that I was so tired of it that I'd just fake being happy. Only problem is that it all came crashing down on me in the end. Almost had an emotional breakdown.
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Matt
I've hated it when people don't understand that positivity can be toxic. The best one I know is be happy. People have told me that I should smile more and be happy when I'm feeling sad and it just makes me feel worse when I remember why I feel that way in the first place.
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I've hated it when people don't understand that positivity can be toxic. The best one I know is be happy. People have told me that I should smile more and be happy when I'm feeling sad and it just makes me feel worse when I remember why I feel that way in the first place.
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Otaku
When I was in high school I went to a special Ed class that would constantly make me feel invalidated and like how I felt was just me being typical. They dont know it but they may have inadvertently taught me to bottle up my emotions. Thanks Class of Ross Wolter.
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When I was in high school I went to a special Ed class that would constantly make me feel invalidated and like how I felt was just me being typical. They dont know it but they may have inadvertently taught me to bottle up my emotions. Thanks Class of Ross Wolter.
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