6 Types Of Toxic Family Dynamic
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Aadi
Mine is a disconnected family. like no one cares until it comes to my grades. they don't care about my wellbeing or anything. so i just pretend that i am busy too, because whenever we spend time all they ask about is studies and work and then guilt trip me that how i dont work hard and if I continue at this pace then i will fail in my life (even though I work hard they refuse to acknowledge it and criticize me for my past grades and my works. it makes my heart and my had hurts, it feels like i am walking on eggshells and i can set them off any time. they didn't praise me when i did good, they didn't acknowledge any of my mental struggle, as a child i crave for their attention and unconditional love but well, their love changes with my grades. anything below an A and it's on. I had some mental issues last year and when i confronted them with it they were like you should go and see people who are struggling in floods without food and shelter, and your problem is nothing and stop overreacting and that's how they shrugged it off. you see; for most of the time tehy were emotionally unavailable. also they physically abused me until 10 and now it's verbal and emotional.
You guys are lucky if you have parents that are emotionally and physically available to you guys.
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Mine is a disconnected family. like no one cares until it comes to my grades. they don't care about my wellbeing or anything. so i just pretend that i am busy too, because whenever we spend time all they ask about is studies and work and then guilt trip me that how i dont work hard and if I continue at this pace then i will fail in my life (even though I work hard they refuse to acknowledge it and criticize me for my past grades and my works. it makes my heart and my had hurts, it feels like i am walking on eggshells and i can set them off any time. they didn't praise me when i did good, they didn't acknowledge any of my mental struggle, as a child i crave for their attention and unconditional love but well, their love changes with my grades. anything below an A and it's on. I had some mental issues last year and when i confronted them with it they were like you should go and see people who are struggling in floods without food and shelter, and your problem is nothing and stop overreacting and that's how they shrugged it off. you see; for most of the time tehy were emotionally unavailable. also they physically abused me until 10 and now it's verbal and emotional.
You guys are lucky if you have parents that are emotionally and physically available to you guys.
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Kame
To be honest, I dont know which mine was I grew up with mother, stepfather and their two children (never calling them my siblings, I dont whats wrong with me. We didnt had much money, mom was working, their children were much younger than me and stepfather was stay at home dad cause you know - why a strong, capable man should work? So he was sitting all day long in his garage, drinking beer, talking with phone etc, while I needed to go to school, after that do my homework, look after the kids, do all house chores etc. At evening, just before my mothers return, stepdad would get back from garage, acting all tired and exhausted cause he been working (pretended to be making wooden doors because he was very handy, but actually did nothing, just beer drinking. Then he would start psychological abuse directed to me, would make a mess in a home so when mom returned he can say that I wasnt cleaning the house etc. Mom believed him, not me. Every day wanted to kill myself. Hated all of them. Stepfather for the psychopath that he is, mom - for believing his manipulations, and the kids - for making my life even harder cause they were daddys little girls and used to sabotage me So I dont know which toxic family type is this.
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To be honest, I dont know which mine was I grew up with mother, stepfather and their two children (never calling them my siblings, I dont whats wrong with me. We didnt had much money, mom was working, their children were much younger than me and stepfather was stay at home dad cause you know - why a strong, capable man should work? So he was sitting all day long in his garage, drinking beer, talking with phone etc, while I needed to go to school, after that do my homework, look after the kids, do all house chores etc. At evening, just before my mothers return, stepdad would get back from garage, acting all tired and exhausted cause he been working (pretended to be making wooden doors because he was very handy, but actually did nothing, just beer drinking. Then he would start psychological abuse directed to me, would make a mess in a home so when mom returned he can say that I wasnt cleaning the house etc. Mom believed him, not me. Every day wanted to kill myself. Hated all of them. Stepfather for the psychopath that he is, mom - for believing his manipulations, and the kids - for making my life even harder cause they were daddys little girls and used to sabotage me So I dont know which toxic family type is this.
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Tiokumi
Been looking at a bunch of different things about toxic families recently to further remind ourselves that we're in one. We are a system that has struggled due to toxic family members. I only found out a little over a year ago that we are a system, and that the dynamic we are in is strictly not okay. Our stepdad is toxic, always hanging things over us and controlling every aspect. There is a clear power imbalance between him and the rest of the family. When we try to tell our mum that this is not okay however, she simply says he cares in his own way. Meanwhile our younger sister is narcissistic and controlling too, but also physically abusive. We usually end up protecting ourself or our siblings from her erratic behaviour, since the parents rarely deal with it themselves unless they're already in the room. Then they'll tell us that it's 'not our problem'. Or our stepdad will just egg her on further. Luckily our dad's is a lot nicer, even though it's also chaotic, it's not toxic.
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Been looking at a bunch of different things about toxic families recently to further remind ourselves that we're in one. We are a system that has struggled due to toxic family members. I only found out a little over a year ago that we are a system, and that the dynamic we are in is strictly not okay. Our stepdad is toxic, always hanging things over us and controlling every aspect. There is a clear power imbalance between him and the rest of the family. When we try to tell our mum that this is not okay however, she simply says he cares in his own way. Meanwhile our younger sister is narcissistic and controlling too, but also physically abusive. We usually end up protecting ourself or our siblings from her erratic behaviour, since the parents rarely deal with it themselves unless they're already in the room. Then they'll tell us that it's 'not our problem'. Or our stepdad will just egg her on further. Luckily our dad's is a lot nicer, even though it's also chaotic, it's not toxic.
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Makami
The type of family that I live in is that to me as the Middle child among the bloodline, tense to get less attention than the younger or older ones. My uncle, father, sister and younger cousins seems to have better treatment than I do in a way, like my grandparents will step up and solve problems like bullying since it involves in my uncle's childhood, and younger cousins tense to have more healthy conversations with their parents. I myself never get that treatment, rather than getting help since the beginning of the problem they just say that I have to grow up, but when I solve the problem myself they will say that that was too risky of me, and that i'm still too young. Being the middle child of the family was a part that makes me feel lonely, because my family was too focused at the success of the adults and the growing process of the young ones.
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The type of family that I live in is that to me as the Middle child among the bloodline, tense to get less attention than the younger or older ones. My uncle, father, sister and younger cousins seems to have better treatment than I do in a way, like my grandparents will step up and solve problems like bullying since it involves in my uncle's childhood, and younger cousins tense to have more healthy conversations with their parents. I myself never get that treatment, rather than getting help since the beginning of the problem they just say that I have to grow up, but when I solve the problem myself they will say that that was too risky of me, and that i'm still too young. Being the middle child of the family was a part that makes me feel lonely, because my family was too focused at the success of the adults and the growing process of the young ones.
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yo
parentified children that reminds me of when my brother died, both of my parents started drinking heavily. my brother died about 8 years ago & my parents are still alcoholics. i had to hide my parents car keys from them ever since i was younger so that they wouldnt drive to the liquor store while drunk. my mom got so mad one time that she threw a glass bowl at me. i was like 14-15 during that time. she doesnt remember it, but i remember everything.
now my parents tell me that im the most stable out of all of my siblings because of how mature i act during life or death situations. so i handle stuff like the guns, in case of an emergency, & i know ill have to take care of my autistic brother when my parents die bc my oldest brother is unstable.
im only 20 now, but i feel like im 60 bc i never had a childhood. ive just been on constant go mode
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parentified children that reminds me of when my brother died, both of my parents started drinking heavily. my brother died about 8 years ago & my parents are still alcoholics. i had to hide my parents car keys from them ever since i was younger so that they wouldnt drive to the liquor store while drunk. my mom got so mad one time that she threw a glass bowl at me. i was like 14-15 during that time. she doesnt remember it, but i remember everything.
now my parents tell me that im the most stable out of all of my siblings because of how mature i act during life or death situations. so i handle stuff like the guns, in case of an emergency, & i know ill have to take care of my autistic brother when my parents die bc my oldest brother is unstable.
im only 20 now, but i feel like im 60 bc i never had a childhood. ive just been on constant go mode
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Hyper
My family is rather disconected, growing up we never really talked much and they had school to deal with so my brother and I just stayed in our rooms and played games, the few times we did try to talk to them usually had us being told video games arn't everything or the world is more than just video games if we brought up anything video game related. Not to menchin that any time I showed them a drawing I got very little reaction. Most of this was from my dad my mom I was close enough to that I did talk to her about a bad habbit I developed. then she died. and it only got more complicated from there.
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My family is rather disconected, growing up we never really talked much and they had school to deal with so my brother and I just stayed in our rooms and played games, the few times we did try to talk to them usually had us being told video games arn't everything or the world is more than just video games if we brought up anything video game related. Not to menchin that any time I showed them a drawing I got very little reaction. Most of this was from my dad my mom I was close enough to that I did talk to her about a bad habbit I developed. then she died. and it only got more complicated from there.
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blank
Im 24 and I was raised by a covert narcissist, and when I finally escaped I decided to go live with family that was never in my life previously, now Im wondering if I made a mistake because they seem to be that looks good on paper or picture perfect type. Im really disappointed that after all my life of going through a bit of hell, I thought I could finally be at a better place than I ever was in before, but I only lived with them for 3 months and I wanted out. Conditional love truly sucks. Just move forward from people who will only love you when it benefits them folks, even if theyre family
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Im 24 and I was raised by a covert narcissist, and when I finally escaped I decided to go live with family that was never in my life previously, now Im wondering if I made a mistake because they seem to be that looks good on paper or picture perfect type. Im really disappointed that after all my life of going through a bit of hell, I thought I could finally be at a better place than I ever was in before, but I only lived with them for 3 months and I wanted out. Conditional love truly sucks. Just move forward from people who will only love you when it benefits them folks, even if theyre family
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beyondcomplex
I'm not fond of my family. You see, my dad's a huge cheapskate and my mom, brother and me can rarely buy anything. While my dad is a cheapskate he is very empathetic towards other people and understands OTHERS financial problems well. So whenever someone asks him for money he'd always give them it. Because of this my mom has got a lot of mental illness and she's quite suicidal maybe even gone insane. My brothers pretty depressed too, and for me i wish i wasn't born into this family
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I'm not fond of my family. You see, my dad's a huge cheapskate and my mom, brother and me can rarely buy anything. While my dad is a cheapskate he is very empathetic towards other people and understands OTHERS financial problems well. So whenever someone asks him for money he'd always give them it. Because of this my mom has got a lot of mental illness and she's quite suicidal maybe even gone insane. My brothers pretty depressed too, and for me i wish i wasn't born into this family
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Ericka
The picture perfect one reminds me of my fam me and my mom are kind but my dad has big mood swings he's always nice most of the time but it's gotten so bad we once called the police its better now and my friends don't now how bad my dad can be and my friends that have divorced parents once said were both sitting here and she has both her parents my mom and dad fight sometimes probly a few times a month it still hurts though
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The picture perfect one reminds me of my fam me and my mom are kind but my dad has big mood swings he's always nice most of the time but it's gotten so bad we once called the police its better now and my friends don't now how bad my dad can be and my friends that have divorced parents once said were both sitting here and she has both her parents my mom and dad fight sometimes probly a few times a month it still hurts though
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Me
I can relate to the picture-perfect and disconnected family. I've hidden a secret that will get my own Mother in trouble if my Father finds out about it. It'll be a chaotic roller coaster at home. The worst part is both of them aren't the Best but what can I do? But I am grateful that they've brought me into this world. They may not be perfect but they're still my parents at the end of the day.
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I can relate to the picture-perfect and disconnected family. I've hidden a secret that will get my own Mother in trouble if my Father finds out about it. It'll be a chaotic roller coaster at home. The worst part is both of them aren't the Best but what can I do? But I am grateful that they've brought me into this world. They may not be perfect but they're still my parents at the end of the day.
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Cap'n
My maternal side of my family were all out picture perfect type because of my abusive rich and controlling catholic grandfather, which had caused my mother and all of my aunts to have extremely low self esteem and anorexia, two of which have recently died from complications caused by said anorexia.
I'm just glad my dad's side of the family isn't like that and knew a lot better than that.
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My maternal side of my family were all out picture perfect type because of my abusive rich and controlling catholic grandfather, which had caused my mother and all of my aunts to have extremely low self esteem and anorexia, two of which have recently died from complications caused by said anorexia.
I'm just glad my dad's side of the family isn't like that and knew a lot better than that.
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education
Sometimes I really do feel like I parent my own mother and father. Mostly my mom. She's an awesome lady but has spent her life with undiagnosed mental illnesses, like autism, anxiety and depression. Therefore she is a bit strange to say the least. I love her and she is almost always there for me but it is both physically and mentally painful to parent my own parent
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Sometimes I really do feel like I parent my own mother and father. Mostly my mom. She's an awesome lady but has spent her life with undiagnosed mental illnesses, like autism, anxiety and depression. Therefore she is a bit strange to say the least. I love her and she is almost always there for me but it is both physically and mentally painful to parent my own parent
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Maytal
It's crazy that the child becoming a parent was me in my tween and teen years that I have to put up so much because my parents were working but it gets worse when suddenly I have to be a parent again when my sister gets worse and can't grow up and my mom forced this on me leaving me trapped and not financially and physically independent that destroyed my life.
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It's crazy that the child becoming a parent was me in my tween and teen years that I have to put up so much because my parents were working but it gets worse when suddenly I have to be a parent again when my sister gets worse and can't grow up and my mom forced this on me leaving me trapped and not financially and physically independent that destroyed my life.
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Jessica
Messy divorce made me believe that happy and healthy relationships don't exist (they divorced when I was only 4. My mom definitely assumed the role of child and I assumed role of parent after that. When my dad remarried, we became picture perfect family (Look at how happy we are, don't mess things up for us and make us look bad.
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Messy divorce made me believe that happy and healthy relationships don't exist (they divorced when I was only 4. My mom definitely assumed the role of child and I assumed role of parent after that. When my dad remarried, we became picture perfect family (Look at how happy we are, don't mess things up for us and make us look bad.
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Lamara
I definitely have the child parent dynamic Im the oldest and I took care of my siblings while my mom was partying and dating different dudes I was a kid taking care of kids I was never really a child and then when I tell my mom how I feel Im ungrateful and disrespectful
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I definitely have the child parent dynamic Im the oldest and I took care of my siblings while my mom was partying and dating different dudes I was a kid taking care of kids I was never really a child and then when I tell my mom how I feel Im ungrateful and disrespectful
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Genice
What about sibling comparisons and manipulation with guilt (If you were a good family member you'd do this? My sister and I often explain to outsiders that she was Mom's daughter and I was Daddy's daughter (unfortunately, Daddy died when I was around 6 or 7.
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What about sibling comparisons and manipulation with guilt (If you were a good family member you'd do this? My sister and I often explain to outsiders that she was Mom's daughter and I was Daddy's daughter (unfortunately, Daddy died when I was around 6 or 7.
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Kagedovaka
the parent-child relationship dynamic, disconnected, and messy split are my mom in a nutshell lol I do love her but she is like a poison infecting everything around her so we always fight after I started thinking for myself back in high school.
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the parent-child relationship dynamic, disconnected, and messy split are my mom in a nutshell lol I do love her but she is like a poison infecting everything around her so we always fight after I started thinking for myself back in high school.
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Brittany
I fall in between the codependent and disconnected family dynamic because after the death of my grandmother my mom and dad got divorced they were emotionally disconnected. And when my parents are at work it makes me feel emotionally neglected
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I fall in between the codependent and disconnected family dynamic because after the death of my grandmother my mom and dad got divorced they were emotionally disconnected. And when my parents are at work it makes me feel emotionally neglected
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Rawan
What about the family diamic where Muslim parents control, threaten, manipulate, force their daughters to be a certain religion/ not express themselves or look a certain way. The honor one where respect isnt given when expected to be received
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What about the family diamic where Muslim parents control, threaten, manipulate, force their daughters to be a certain religion/ not express themselves or look a certain way. The honor one where respect isnt given when expected to be received
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Betty
How do you address the parent child dynamic that is based on a new immigrant that relies on the child to translate? No fault of adult, struggling to establish themselves in a new country and child that is more assimilated in the new country
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How do you address the parent child dynamic that is based on a new immigrant that relies on the child to translate? No fault of adult, struggling to establish themselves in a new country and child that is more assimilated in the new country
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Olive.
When I was younger, my mom was abusive emotionally but I took pity since she had been there at times.
I tried to confront her for it and she guilt tripped me.
The next day she yelled at me for asking which plate was mine.
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When I was younger, my mom was abusive emotionally but I took pity since she had been there at times.
I tried to confront her for it and she guilt tripped me.
The next day she yelled at me for asking which plate was mine.
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Poisonberry
2: 41
SPEACK PROPERLY
me remembering ever time my mom has told me to move my mouth or annunciate my words or just grabbing my mouth to move it for me and even though it put me down a ton, I thought it was normal
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2: 41
SPEACK PROPERLY
me remembering ever time my mom has told me to move my mouth or annunciate my words or just grabbing my mouth to move it for me and even though it put me down a ton, I thought it was normal
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Christie
This means the majority of my friends in school were narcissists. IDK about calling every toxic manipulator a narcissist, but it seems like a near majority of people in the DC area where i grew up check all these boxes
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This means the majority of my friends in school were narcissists. IDK about calling every toxic manipulator a narcissist, but it seems like a near majority of people in the DC area where i grew up check all these boxes
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Diamond
My family when my cousin had undiagnosed ADHD: he might have autism
My family when I had undiagnosed ADHD and BPD: she might have autism
My family when my brother had undiagnosed autism: HES PERFECT! GOLDEN CHILD!
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My family when my cousin had undiagnosed ADHD: he might have autism
My family when I had undiagnosed ADHD and BPD: she might have autism
My family when my brother had undiagnosed autism: HES PERFECT! GOLDEN CHILD!
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Fuzzy
Are this counts as toxic family
My mom is always say to me If I Mad is mean I love you and my dad that never see the condition of the family and just come in the house just sometime like 2 month he never in the house
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Are this counts as toxic family
My mom is always say to me If I Mad is mean I love you and my dad that never see the condition of the family and just come in the house just sometime like 2 month he never in the house
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