Unhealthy Mother Daughter Relationships
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Amy
When I was younger I considered my mother to be a goddess. I was born premature and had eating difficulties growing up, and since my parents broke up when I was 3, I lived with my mum for most of the week. She helped me to grow and made sure that I was always getting the nutrients that I needed, and I was thankful for that. But as I grew older I started to see her in a whole new light.
Since 2019 I have been depressed mainly because of school and how stressful it is. I often feel unmotivated to do my work, and it's not because I can't be bothered, but because I don't have the energy. Instead of trying to comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, my mum calls me lazy, useless, and says that I'm not going to get anywhere in life if I carry on like this. It's getting to the point where I am honestly afraid of her and can't stand to be in the same house as her. And since it is just the two of us at home, I feel like there is no one I can really talk to in person after we have a fight. I get that she want's me to succeed in life, but she isn't putting my mental health first and she doesn't know how to connect with me on an emotional level.
My plan is after I finish school this year, I'm going to move in with my dad and work towards becoming an event or wedding planner. Then I'm going to move far away from my mum, I'm thinking Melbourne. I will speak to her again when it is best for me and not when it is best for her, whether that may be in the next five years or ten years. Wish me luck!
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When I was younger I considered my mother to be a goddess. I was born premature and had eating difficulties growing up, and since my parents broke up when I was 3, I lived with my mum for most of the week. She helped me to grow and made sure that I was always getting the nutrients that I needed, and I was thankful for that. But as I grew older I started to see her in a whole new light.
Since 2019 I have been depressed mainly because of school and how stressful it is. I often feel unmotivated to do my work, and it's not because I can't be bothered, but because I don't have the energy. Instead of trying to comfort me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, my mum calls me lazy, useless, and says that I'm not going to get anywhere in life if I carry on like this. It's getting to the point where I am honestly afraid of her and can't stand to be in the same house as her. And since it is just the two of us at home, I feel like there is no one I can really talk to in person after we have a fight. I get that she want's me to succeed in life, but she isn't putting my mental health first and she doesn't know how to connect with me on an emotional level.
My plan is after I finish school this year, I'm going to move in with my dad and work towards becoming an event or wedding planner. Then I'm going to move far away from my mum, I'm thinking Melbourne. I will speak to her again when it is best for me and not when it is best for her, whether that may be in the next five years or ten years. Wish me luck!
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Cookiez
I feel like my mother is so many of these (1, 4, 5, 6. She was usually either in her room leaving my dad to take care of me, trying to me my best friend, or going absolutely crazy. Her attempts to trying to me my best friends were taking me on trips to either NYC or Europe, which always turned into another one of her crazy episodes. Sometimes when she does get crazy, I felt like I had to be the parent trying to get her to calm down or like I had to pretend I didn't know her. Sometimes she'd even turn to me and say stuff like I'm not her daughter (I wish that was true) or even saying I'm a failure and I should kill myself. Then she'd say she didn't say it or blame it on the demons in her head. She has been to the mental hospital many times but that has never helped her. It got so bad that I just left with my dad and my grandparents when I was just starting high school. Even after I left she still wanted me back, even going as far as putting an order of protection in my name against my own dad. Luckily my name got removed from that 2 months early, but I couldn't contact my dad for a whole month, which made me really hate her. I'm glad that I left though since I feel like I barely had any childhood thanks to her.
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I feel like my mother is so many of these (1, 4, 5, 6. She was usually either in her room leaving my dad to take care of me, trying to me my best friend, or going absolutely crazy. Her attempts to trying to me my best friends were taking me on trips to either NYC or Europe, which always turned into another one of her crazy episodes. Sometimes when she does get crazy, I felt like I had to be the parent trying to get her to calm down or like I had to pretend I didn't know her. Sometimes she'd even turn to me and say stuff like I'm not her daughter (I wish that was true) or even saying I'm a failure and I should kill myself. Then she'd say she didn't say it or blame it on the demons in her head. She has been to the mental hospital many times but that has never helped her. It got so bad that I just left with my dad and my grandparents when I was just starting high school. Even after I left she still wanted me back, even going as far as putting an order of protection in my name against my own dad. Luckily my name got removed from that 2 months early, but I couldn't contact my dad for a whole month, which made me really hate her. I'm glad that I left though since I feel like I barely had any childhood thanks to her.
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Be_still
Its sad how many of us dont have a mum who can support or be there for us when we need it. My mum have always tried to control me as a kid. And just the video said I rebelled hard when I got a chance.
Till this day my mum doesnt hear me nor validates how I feel. She would ask me a question and expect me to answer exactly as she wants it to be answered. If I dont do that I get shout at, criticized and compared to my sister.
Its my bday weekend and my mum is making a cake my bday celebration. My sisters fav cake though
If you are also dealing with controlling, angry parent I just want to say Im sorry you are going through it! I know how tough and lonely it can be. I know that nagging, critical voice you have in your head and how difficult it is to know that you actually matter.
The best I can personally do is to forgive and continue to forgive daily because unforgiveness is the biggest enemy of inner peace.
Here is a hug for you if you need it its gonna be ok!
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Its sad how many of us dont have a mum who can support or be there for us when we need it. My mum have always tried to control me as a kid. And just the video said I rebelled hard when I got a chance.
Till this day my mum doesnt hear me nor validates how I feel. She would ask me a question and expect me to answer exactly as she wants it to be answered. If I dont do that I get shout at, criticized and compared to my sister.
Its my bday weekend and my mum is making a cake my bday celebration. My sisters fav cake though
If you are also dealing with controlling, angry parent I just want to say Im sorry you are going through it! I know how tough and lonely it can be. I know that nagging, critical voice you have in your head and how difficult it is to know that you actually matter.
The best I can personally do is to forgive and continue to forgive daily because unforgiveness is the biggest enemy of inner peace.
Here is a hug for you if you need it its gonna be ok!
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sweetie
My mom as a good mom/bad mom gave me an ambivalent binding pattern. I can never know if she'll harass me or support me; just yesterday I had a really low point due to my depression which she did not care about at all. She was only worried about me not going to work for one single day to rewind even though my boss knows about my mental health. When I went to bed, I said good night to which she reacted extremely dismissive. When I was in bed, I had a horrible crying spell. The only thing I could get out was Mom, I NEED you! But I know she didn't truly understand.
That was when she switched up and started petting my head but it only made me cry harder because why? Why does her love for me have conditions? Why does she only show me affection when I'm completely shattered? Why would a mother ever let it go this far?
It hurts.
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My mom as a good mom/bad mom gave me an ambivalent binding pattern. I can never know if she'll harass me or support me; just yesterday I had a really low point due to my depression which she did not care about at all. She was only worried about me not going to work for one single day to rewind even though my boss knows about my mental health. When I went to bed, I said good night to which she reacted extremely dismissive. When I was in bed, I had a horrible crying spell. The only thing I could get out was Mom, I NEED you! But I know she didn't truly understand.
That was when she switched up and started petting my head but it only made me cry harder because why? Why does her love for me have conditions? Why does she only show me affection when I'm completely shattered? Why would a mother ever let it go this far?
It hurts.
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Sheema
my mom is like a mixture of 3 types. and the funny thing is how everyone just tells u its ur mom. we are supposed to forgive and forget jst because thats the parent. i wa very much against ppl who always blamed everything on parents. i was a naive kid. if my mom had any behaviours i just was a happy child who never paused to think of anything. but i think after like age 24 or 22 i started seeing things. still u knw u think im jst over thinking. mom is good. coz her heart is good. but now at age 35. too many things have repeated. i cant be fooled by whats staring at me right there in my face. big sign of a toxic realtionship is when u cant explain yourself that whats wrong. but u keep feeling hurt by ur mother. being unappreciated no matter what u do for her. im just hurt. feels like a big deep wound in my heart
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my mom is like a mixture of 3 types. and the funny thing is how everyone just tells u its ur mom. we are supposed to forgive and forget jst because thats the parent. i wa very much against ppl who always blamed everything on parents. i was a naive kid. if my mom had any behaviours i just was a happy child who never paused to think of anything. but i think after like age 24 or 22 i started seeing things. still u knw u think im jst over thinking. mom is good. coz her heart is good. but now at age 35. too many things have repeated. i cant be fooled by whats staring at me right there in my face. big sign of a toxic realtionship is when u cant explain yourself that whats wrong. but u keep feeling hurt by ur mother. being unappreciated no matter what u do for her. im just hurt. feels like a big deep wound in my heart
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NightmareVixen12
Mine is so many of these and refuses to listen nor accept being told that she is. I want a healthy relationship with her but, unless it's good things about her, something she can brag about, insulting people she doesn't like, or me playing nursemaid when she's unwell she won't hear anything that anyone has to say and refuses to change and become a better person. She wants me to take care of her even if it's detrimental to my own health like the disease from 2020. No, I wasn't around when she had it but she frequently states she wishes I was there to personally nurse her back to health. Mind you my immune system has the strength of a 1 ply wet tissue but she doesn't care as long as she has one of her family nursing her to health. She should have gone to the hospital but refused to.
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Mine is so many of these and refuses to listen nor accept being told that she is. I want a healthy relationship with her but, unless it's good things about her, something she can brag about, insulting people she doesn't like, or me playing nursemaid when she's unwell she won't hear anything that anyone has to say and refuses to change and become a better person. She wants me to take care of her even if it's detrimental to my own health like the disease from 2020. No, I wasn't around when she had it but she frequently states she wishes I was there to personally nurse her back to health. Mind you my immune system has the strength of a 1 ply wet tissue but she doesn't care as long as she has one of her family nursing her to health. She should have gone to the hospital but refused to.
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Katrien
My mom is a mix of them. Rigid, demanding, violent, angry/sweet, jealous, enjoying giving me guilt trips (thanks to me my dad was going to die. Where to start. When I was 43 she lashed out to my husband and that was it. I don't see her anymore. She keeps trying to reconnect because she hasn't got a life without her kids. But she still has my brothers, she always put them first anyway, so she should be happy. I was never enough. She even said I had ugly ears when there were other people around. No, enough. I am working now with myself to get over the trauma's she gave me and my behavioural issues I got thanks to her. Low self esteem, people pleasing, working till I drop dead, .and I can't stand shouting. My life now is peaceful and so much better.
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My mom is a mix of them. Rigid, demanding, violent, angry/sweet, jealous, enjoying giving me guilt trips (thanks to me my dad was going to die. Where to start. When I was 43 she lashed out to my husband and that was it. I don't see her anymore. She keeps trying to reconnect because she hasn't got a life without her kids. But she still has my brothers, she always put them first anyway, so she should be happy. I was never enough. She even said I had ugly ears when there were other people around. No, enough. I am working now with myself to get over the trauma's she gave me and my behavioural issues I got thanks to her. Low self esteem, people pleasing, working till I drop dead, .and I can't stand shouting. My life now is peaceful and so much better.
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Sneha
My mother is a bully. She expects that her every child should lick her feet. One should not utter a word against her. She will destroy you like anything. All she lives for my 11 years younger brother. I dont have any problem with that. But is a unwed daughter a slave in the house? All this is happening because my father is spineless. I hve been abused mentally all my life. Now that im older im a victim of typical indian mentality. That i do not respect parents. Whenever i will have child of my own i will make sure that i will be a good mother to her.
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My mother is a bully. She expects that her every child should lick her feet. One should not utter a word against her. She will destroy you like anything. All she lives for my 11 years younger brother. I dont have any problem with that. But is a unwed daughter a slave in the house? All this is happening because my father is spineless. I hve been abused mentally all my life. Now that im older im a victim of typical indian mentality. That i do not respect parents. Whenever i will have child of my own i will make sure that i will be a good mother to her.
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Sadie0777
My mom is retired and moved in with me. 10 years ago. She's an alcoholic, driving a car around in my name and under my insurance. She doesn't help around the house and I pay for everything even tho she got a part time job for pocket money. Seems to think I owe her for my life. I didn't ask to be born. I recently told her she needs to move out n get her own car. I can't handle her anymore. I can't. I do Not understand ppl who have good parent relationships. Haven't talked to my father in 9 years. My mom is a combination of so many of these.
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My mom is retired and moved in with me. 10 years ago. She's an alcoholic, driving a car around in my name and under my insurance. She doesn't help around the house and I pay for everything even tho she got a part time job for pocket money. Seems to think I owe her for my life. I didn't ask to be born. I recently told her she needs to move out n get her own car. I can't handle her anymore. I can't. I do Not understand ppl who have good parent relationships. Haven't talked to my father in 9 years. My mom is a combination of so many of these.
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Be
I feel everything thing, sometimes i feel that she is not my mother she is my mother in law she compares me to other girls who just time pass in their studies, and helps their mother in dusting, Cooking, washing even i also helps her but that is nothing for her i don't know what she wants actually i know she wants that i gaveup my studies, my carrier, my happiness, my freedom and be a house wife or a girl with no self respect, but i can't and i will prove her that study is not a timepass for me i prove her, i promise
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I feel everything thing, sometimes i feel that she is not my mother she is my mother in law she compares me to other girls who just time pass in their studies, and helps their mother in dusting, Cooking, washing even i also helps her but that is nothing for her i don't know what she wants actually i know she wants that i gaveup my studies, my carrier, my happiness, my freedom and be a house wife or a girl with no self respect, but i can't and i will prove her that study is not a timepass for me i prove her, i promise
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TRISH
6. Good Mom/Bad Mom, 3. Rivals, 2. Boss and Subordinate and a bit of 4. The Role-Reversal Relationship. This resonates so much. I am still confused as to how someone can be this way to their child and I struggle to understand why and how our logic, empathy, feelings are so different or how hers are so different than the majority of her friends. I am aiming to be different towards my children and hopefully raise them in a healthy and happy environment. These videos are so helpful. Keep them up.
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6. Good Mom/Bad Mom, 3. Rivals, 2. Boss and Subordinate and a bit of 4. The Role-Reversal Relationship. This resonates so much. I am still confused as to how someone can be this way to their child and I struggle to understand why and how our logic, empathy, feelings are so different or how hers are so different than the majority of her friends. I am aiming to be different towards my children and hopefully raise them in a healthy and happy environment. These videos are so helpful. Keep them up.
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Tyson
My Mother and my sister had an unhealthy relationship due to the fact that my father treated my sister like a princess and treated my mother like an employee or a farm animal.
Usually when a mother/ daughter relationship is unhealthy, it stems from the dynamics of the father in the household.
I in turn was treated like an employee by my father and my mother was very loving towards me.
An unhealthy narcissistic father is what caused all of this dysfunction in our family.
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My Mother and my sister had an unhealthy relationship due to the fact that my father treated my sister like a princess and treated my mother like an employee or a farm animal.
Usually when a mother/ daughter relationship is unhealthy, it stems from the dynamics of the father in the household.
I in turn was treated like an employee by my father and my mother was very loving towards me.
An unhealthy narcissistic father is what caused all of this dysfunction in our family.
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Madelyn
I feel so trapped and out of control. Im young and dont have many family members I feel safe confiding in. Im happier almost anytime my mom is not there. I still love by mom but I just cant stand her emotional switches. She is the only adult in the picture so its her world with no one else to correct her mistakes or call them out. When i try it is on uneven ground as the child. I hate how I feel every time I talk to her, and I cant do anything about it.
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I feel so trapped and out of control. Im young and dont have many family members I feel safe confiding in. Im happier almost anytime my mom is not there. I still love by mom but I just cant stand her emotional switches. She is the only adult in the picture so its her world with no one else to correct her mistakes or call them out. When i try it is on uneven ground as the child. I hate how I feel every time I talk to her, and I cant do anything about it.
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Brenda
This has been one of the hardest emotional burdens for me and completely empathize with those with strained parental relationships. I recently was able to really not place blame. She is really only treating me how she was treated by her own mother or unhappy family. And has nothing to do with how loveable I am Im not saying its okay but she didnt have a pamphlet for motherhood. Took me years of pain to come to this feeling of forgiveness.
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This has been one of the hardest emotional burdens for me and completely empathize with those with strained parental relationships. I recently was able to really not place blame. She is really only treating me how she was treated by her own mother or unhappy family. And has nothing to do with how loveable I am Im not saying its okay but she didnt have a pamphlet for motherhood. Took me years of pain to come to this feeling of forgiveness.
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Lt.
The closest to my relationship with my mom is probably #6. My mother is hard to predict and can switch from being warm and caring to critical and domineering in an instant. It's not a perfect comparison though, which side she exhibits has nothing to do with whether we're in public or not. I think it depends on her mood, maybe? Whatever the reason, it makes interacting with her really stressful. I can never be sure how she's going to react.
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The closest to my relationship with my mom is probably #6. My mother is hard to predict and can switch from being warm and caring to critical and domineering in an instant. It's not a perfect comparison though, which side she exhibits has nothing to do with whether we're in public or not. I think it depends on her mood, maybe? Whatever the reason, it makes interacting with her really stressful. I can never be sure how she's going to react.
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education
Some years ago my mom has been very toxic and now also even when I say that it hurts still she's super toxic and verbally abuses me, taunts me, speaks ill of me, always puts restrictions on me and not on my younger brother', she loves him so much and not me, she always says bad about me. What should I do I'm not even able to focus on my studies? I'm preparing for the college entrance exam!
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Some years ago my mom has been very toxic and now also even when I say that it hurts still she's super toxic and verbally abuses me, taunts me, speaks ill of me, always puts restrictions on me and not on my younger brother', she loves him so much and not me, she always says bad about me. What should I do I'm not even able to focus on my studies? I'm preparing for the college entrance exam!
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Hayman
Every single details it said is also related to my mom and me. I'm 19 and I still have to sleep in the same bedroom with her. She'll get angry at me for days when I go out alone without telling her (even if the place is not too far away from home. She doesn't let me work at other places. Only under her eyes every time. Ok enough! It'll be unstoppable if I kept saying.
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Every single details it said is also related to my mom and me. I'm 19 and I still have to sleep in the same bedroom with her. She'll get angry at me for days when I go out alone without telling her (even if the place is not too far away from home. She doesn't let me work at other places. Only under her eyes every time. Ok enough! It'll be unstoppable if I kept saying.
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Michaela
I hate my mother. And I'm stuck. Being older now at 23 idk what to do since I'm broke. My mom drives me nuts neglects my emotion. And provokes me to get angry. And my dad is diplomatic. I have mental health problems. My father is slightly better. I love my dog. Now I just wait for a few years and I have to move out.
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I hate my mother. And I'm stuck. Being older now at 23 idk what to do since I'm broke. My mom drives me nuts neglects my emotion. And provokes me to get angry. And my dad is diplomatic. I have mental health problems. My father is slightly better. I love my dog. Now I just wait for a few years and I have to move out.
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Britney
My relationship pattern with my mother is definitely Boss and Subordinate.
Im 25 yo and just a couple of days ago she ambushed me at a pub I was sitting at because it was time for me to come home in her opinion. Like, tf? Can you believe it! Ive realized I need to move out to be able to live my life my own way
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My relationship pattern with my mother is definitely Boss and Subordinate.
Im 25 yo and just a couple of days ago she ambushed me at a pub I was sitting at because it was time for me to come home in her opinion. Like, tf? Can you believe it! Ive realized I need to move out to be able to live my life my own way
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M.
Amy Tan later was a underaged child mother who appeared on the Jerry Springer! The mother gets in to avoid such situation in the future; the father makes this worst by baby girl attitude; later on by the age of 18; the child got kicked out; and confirms their entry into Jerry springer. long story short!
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Amy Tan later was a underaged child mother who appeared on the Jerry Springer! The mother gets in to avoid such situation in the future; the father makes this worst by baby girl attitude; later on by the age of 18; the child got kicked out; and confirms their entry into Jerry springer. long story short!
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josie7shells
#2, #4, #5, #6. almost all.
im on very low contact to my mom and no contact for 11y with my baby-father.
perhaps i should go no contact to both of them.
above all, cause my boyfriend and i are planning on starting a family. i am SO afraid of becoming just like them
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#2, #4, #5, #6. almost all.
im on very low contact to my mom and no contact for 11y with my baby-father.
perhaps i should go no contact to both of them.
above all, cause my boyfriend and i are planning on starting a family. i am SO afraid of becoming just like them
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KylieAnimations
Im always afraid of my mom and dad because they always sware me out and think they know everything and I just cant take it anymore because my mom has always chose my sister over me and I just feel like Im never going have a happy life with my mom and dad and sister
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Im always afraid of my mom and dad because they always sware me out and think they know everything and I just cant take it anymore because my mom has always chose my sister over me and I just feel like Im never going have a happy life with my mom and dad and sister
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Peopleo
For my mom and me it's a bit like in the fourth example only that she expects me to be the other parent to my brother and take the same responsibility his father would have. I am 15 and have no idea how to take care of myself, how am i supposed to take care of my brother?
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For my mom and me it's a bit like in the fourth example only that she expects me to be the other parent to my brother and take the same responsibility his father would have. I am 15 and have no idea how to take care of myself, how am i supposed to take care of my brother?
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Debovani
I've got the bestest mom on earth, came here to see how my life would have been if she was not the way she is. My Mumma you are the nicest gift that God gave me, I love you so so much. In future when I'll be a mother I'll always try to be one like you.
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I've got the bestest mom on earth, came here to see how my life would have been if she was not the way she is. My Mumma you are the nicest gift that God gave me, I love you so so much. In future when I'll be a mother I'll always try to be one like you.
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Akanksha
I get jealous when i see pep around having the best relation with their mothers. i mean i'm not saying i don't like my mom. i love her and i know she loves me too, i want to make her happy. but still something is missing it feels like a burden
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I get jealous when i see pep around having the best relation with their mothers. i mean i'm not saying i don't like my mom. i love her and i know she loves me too, i want to make her happy. but still something is missing it feels like a burden
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