7 Signs They're NOT The One
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
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I stopped having honeymoon periods in relationships many years ago; to me, that seems like something that disappears with maturity and experience, especially when you learn what infatuation (in love or limerance) is and how it affects the individual, the partner, and the relationship. I have been told that I don't behave like the typical woman in a new relationship. In my last relationship, it took me 5 years to realize we weren't compatible. Previous to that, I was married to Mr. Right and then 3 years into the marriage (6 years into the relationship, I realized he was Mr. Wrong and that I had married the wrong person for the wrong reason. (Thank the gods I live in America where a woman is free to divorce without much shame--my elderly parents are the only people who shame me about my divorce)
There is no right answer to relationships. Every person and every relationship is different, and therefore there are no black/white answers (obvious things like abuse/toxicity aside. Every human is alone in our handling of the topics around relationships. Every individual has to keep moving forward, keep making mistakes and enduring setbacks, and figure things out for ourselves in the present moment while we learn from our past. Our friends and family and vloggers cannot figure it out for us. The answer that works for one person, may be completely invalid for another. There are no answers other than what we figure out for ourselves, using self-awareness, introspection, and growth. May the force be with all of us; it's nasty out there.
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I stopped having honeymoon periods in relationships many years ago; to me, that seems like something that disappears with maturity and experience, especially when you learn what infatuation (in love or limerance) is and how it affects the individual, the partner, and the relationship. I have been told that I don't behave like the typical woman in a new relationship. In my last relationship, it took me 5 years to realize we weren't compatible. Previous to that, I was married to Mr. Right and then 3 years into the marriage (6 years into the relationship, I realized he was Mr. Wrong and that I had married the wrong person for the wrong reason. (Thank the gods I live in America where a woman is free to divorce without much shame--my elderly parents are the only people who shame me about my divorce)
There is no right answer to relationships. Every person and every relationship is different, and therefore there are no black/white answers (obvious things like abuse/toxicity aside. Every human is alone in our handling of the topics around relationships. Every individual has to keep moving forward, keep making mistakes and enduring setbacks, and figure things out for ourselves in the present moment while we learn from our past. Our friends and family and vloggers cannot figure it out for us. The answer that works for one person, may be completely invalid for another. There are no answers other than what we figure out for ourselves, using self-awareness, introspection, and growth. May the force be with all of us; it's nasty out there.
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ayumiichie
I actually have a really nice and caring boyfriend and we love each other. but he doesn't really respect my wishes too much. I need lots of stability, means my partner texting or calling me often, them sticking to their word or promises we've made. For some reason we always talk a lot but nothing much changes. My parrner only sees a reason to change something, when everything is already breaking apart. We can't seem to communicate normally anymore. He pushes me away, I get so angry that I explode and he withdraws. I just wonder why it always has to escalate for him to realize a matter is important and both parties need to work on it? Its weird because there is also so much kindness from him but the things that matter to me, seemingly aren't very important to him.
I need lots of attention, care and stability. While he already finds it difficult to text me a few times a day. It actually also doesn't make it better for me, that I'm the only person he really texts. I would love for it to work out but it seems like we are so far apart by now. He doesn't communicate after I got angry, which makes me break up even more. Although I don't wanna leave him either way.
Anyone experienced this issue before? Seems like I'm standing in front of a wall.
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I actually have a really nice and caring boyfriend and we love each other. but he doesn't really respect my wishes too much. I need lots of stability, means my partner texting or calling me often, them sticking to their word or promises we've made. For some reason we always talk a lot but nothing much changes. My parrner only sees a reason to change something, when everything is already breaking apart. We can't seem to communicate normally anymore. He pushes me away, I get so angry that I explode and he withdraws. I just wonder why it always has to escalate for him to realize a matter is important and both parties need to work on it? Its weird because there is also so much kindness from him but the things that matter to me, seemingly aren't very important to him.
I need lots of attention, care and stability. While he already finds it difficult to text me a few times a day. It actually also doesn't make it better for me, that I'm the only person he really texts. I would love for it to work out but it seems like we are so far apart by now. He doesn't communicate after I got angry, which makes me break up even more. Although I don't wanna leave him either way.
Anyone experienced this issue before? Seems like I'm standing in front of a wall.
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superymario
This helps. Recently, I've been seeing a girl that is the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met, and I say that objectively. The thing is, I was always the one texting first, asking when to meet, and there were things I didn't notice. For starters, she's from a religious and conservative family while I am the definition of Haram in regards to many things, she wanted to leave the country asap and I wanted to stay longer and build something here, she was undecided about children and I would like them in 4-5 years, and a few other things like this. We had a moment which was almost a kiss then she made herself scarce and I reached for her. She then said she doesn't want to connect and break heart but TBH it was too late for that.
Thanks to this video, I see that we were never right for each other, I was just blinded by the honeymoon phase while she was using her thinking brain.
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This helps. Recently, I've been seeing a girl that is the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met, and I say that objectively. The thing is, I was always the one texting first, asking when to meet, and there were things I didn't notice. For starters, she's from a religious and conservative family while I am the definition of Haram in regards to many things, she wanted to leave the country asap and I wanted to stay longer and build something here, she was undecided about children and I would like them in 4-5 years, and a few other things like this. We had a moment which was almost a kiss then she made herself scarce and I reached for her. She then said she doesn't want to connect and break heart but TBH it was too late for that.
Thanks to this video, I see that we were never right for each other, I was just blinded by the honeymoon phase while she was using her thinking brain.
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Broeckchen
To help distinguishing intolerant loved ones from validly concerned ones:
Pay attention to the kind of critique they have. They're just not good enough for you, You're out of their league, We don't want that in our family etc are criticisms that tip you off that the issue is more you having a relationship at all or a relationship with a certain group of people that your loved ones look down on. That kind of thing tends to be less valid.
I can't put my finger on it, but something's off, I'm worried about you, X behavior really rubs me the wrong way, I think it's unfair how they treated you are more often valid concerns. Your loved ones either admit there that they can't see a clear red flag but something gives them alarm bells, or they can point to specific traits and behaviors that are the issue (rather than aspects of the person's identity.
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To help distinguishing intolerant loved ones from validly concerned ones:
Pay attention to the kind of critique they have. They're just not good enough for you, You're out of their league, We don't want that in our family etc are criticisms that tip you off that the issue is more you having a relationship at all or a relationship with a certain group of people that your loved ones look down on. That kind of thing tends to be less valid.
I can't put my finger on it, but something's off, I'm worried about you, X behavior really rubs me the wrong way, I think it's unfair how they treated you are more often valid concerns. Your loved ones either admit there that they can't see a clear red flag but something gives them alarm bells, or they can point to specific traits and behaviors that are the issue (rather than aspects of the person's identity.
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L.
I have a really difficult time telling if the conflict i'm in is unfair or not. And if the person I'm with is hurtful or not. I am extremely sensitive and have no conventional family. I'm mostly on my own. My family is the family I create, not the one I was born into. So I repeatedly broke up my past relationships. They really weren't the thing. No matter how long they lasted. Now I am with someone who I deeply love but it's difficult again. My reflex is breaking up and going my way. But I don't want to repeat over and over again what didn't work in the past. Your videos really help me distinguish what is what. I used them one by one to establish better communication and boundaries and it helped us a great deal. We're out of the recent wood and happy again. I think we have a chance thanks to you.
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I have a really difficult time telling if the conflict i'm in is unfair or not. And if the person I'm with is hurtful or not. I am extremely sensitive and have no conventional family. I'm mostly on my own. My family is the family I create, not the one I was born into. So I repeatedly broke up my past relationships. They really weren't the thing. No matter how long they lasted. Now I am with someone who I deeply love but it's difficult again. My reflex is breaking up and going my way. But I don't want to repeat over and over again what didn't work in the past. Your videos really help me distinguish what is what. I used them one by one to establish better communication and boundaries and it helped us a great deal. We're out of the recent wood and happy again. I think we have a chance thanks to you.
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Tyhee
Funny, I had a relationship fail because 1) we respected each other and encouraged each other to obtain our goals, 2) we communicated well, and would talk about where we stand and how we feel, 3) we were tolerant of each other's bad days.
The reason it didn't work was because we both recognized from all this healthy work that we couldn't be together as we were. Our futures were too different and we couldn't figure out how to combine our lives. We are still good friends, and sometimes one or both of us want to get back together. Until we have the same path, we just can't do it
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Funny, I had a relationship fail because 1) we respected each other and encouraged each other to obtain our goals, 2) we communicated well, and would talk about where we stand and how we feel, 3) we were tolerant of each other's bad days.
The reason it didn't work was because we both recognized from all this healthy work that we couldn't be together as we were. Our futures were too different and we couldn't figure out how to combine our lives. We are still good friends, and sometimes one or both of us want to get back together. Until we have the same path, we just can't do it
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Trinity
Im not saying Ive found the one at all. And I dont think that even exists. My grandparents have been together for 35+ however many years because they put work into themselves and their relationship so that they can be together. My boyfriend put work into our relationship to make it work. The point Im getting at, is even if youre relationship does or doesnt feel like the one, it can feel like it later, if you and your partner put work into it to make it happen. Good things come from hard work. And bad things come from the short cuts.
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Im not saying Ive found the one at all. And I dont think that even exists. My grandparents have been together for 35+ however many years because they put work into themselves and their relationship so that they can be together. My boyfriend put work into our relationship to make it work. The point Im getting at, is even if youre relationship does or doesnt feel like the one, it can feel like it later, if you and your partner put work into it to make it happen. Good things come from hard work. And bad things come from the short cuts.
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Asriel
This video should have came around earlier in my relationship. I've just had possibly one of the hardest breakups today where he swears he was listening to me but he really wasn't. I'd constantly be told no that's not how that works. or I never said that when I'd bring up certain things. I was constantly wrong no matter what. Yet everyone else I'd ask they'd tell me that he should also respect my wishes if I'm respecting his. Which he wasn't. But this helps me get a little bit of closure now. Love Psych2Go's videos a lot.
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This video should have came around earlier in my relationship. I've just had possibly one of the hardest breakups today where he swears he was listening to me but he really wasn't. I'd constantly be told no that's not how that works. or I never said that when I'd bring up certain things. I was constantly wrong no matter what. Yet everyone else I'd ask they'd tell me that he should also respect my wishes if I'm respecting his. Which he wasn't. But this helps me get a little bit of closure now. Love Psych2Go's videos a lot.
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MissGabby
2. Yes and no. For big things, yes, I think. But for the little things, not so much.
3. No. I would love to see him as much as possible, while he is perfectly fine seeing each other once a week at max. He loves spending weekends alone too.
4. He tends to brush things off saying that he is the way he is and can only do so much due to childhood trauma.
5. My intuition is broken.
7. The intuition of people around me is broken.
I don't know what to do
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2. Yes and no. For big things, yes, I think. But for the little things, not so much.
3. No. I would love to see him as much as possible, while he is perfectly fine seeing each other once a week at max. He loves spending weekends alone too.
4. He tends to brush things off saying that he is the way he is and can only do so much due to childhood trauma.
5. My intuition is broken.
7. The intuition of people around me is broken.
I don't know what to do
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Helga
I feel like this applies almost perfectly to my relationship, and I'm the one who fails on these more often. He says that he's still willing to put up with it for some reason, but I don't understand why. I'm tired of hurting someone I love, and when I ask people for advice they mostly default to yo go girl, show him, and I think that's wrong. I want to do better, but always revert to old shitty behaviors. It's all so tiring.
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I feel like this applies almost perfectly to my relationship, and I'm the one who fails on these more often. He says that he's still willing to put up with it for some reason, but I don't understand why. I'm tired of hurting someone I love, and when I ask people for advice they mostly default to yo go girl, show him, and I think that's wrong. I want to do better, but always revert to old shitty behaviors. It's all so tiring.
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AreisVT
I am a floof and happy in the morning. What has happened rare for me is acceptance to that and my playful nature in the morning. I've learned its not just a deal breaker but if I get snapped at because I didn't eat yet or Im not a morning person its a clear sign they arn't the one.
Most of the time they are also empathic to when I am depressed not when I am happy. Its concerning.
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I am a floof and happy in the morning. What has happened rare for me is acceptance to that and my playful nature in the morning. I've learned its not just a deal breaker but if I get snapped at because I didn't eat yet or Im not a morning person its a clear sign they arn't the one.
Most of the time they are also empathic to when I am depressed not when I am happy. Its concerning.
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Favour
I got really hurt in my last relationship by believing theres nothing like the one theres only the one you make your one. And all the 7 signs you mentioned showed in our relationship. I worked it out with myself and found myself loving her even more. Then one day she just called me and said shes done. I was more disappointed with the lack of effort from her and yes Im still healing.
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I got really hurt in my last relationship by believing theres nothing like the one theres only the one you make your one. And all the 7 signs you mentioned showed in our relationship. I worked it out with myself and found myself loving her even more. Then one day she just called me and said shes done. I was more disappointed with the lack of effort from her and yes Im still healing.
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Joe
videos like this is why Women are so crazy in America. They dont meet your every need, He doesnt agree with everything you say, They speak and dont validate your every thought, dont feel good sometimes, Call you out on your BS, and my favorite someone says so, so it must be true. NPD narcassistic self centered women. Check. No wonder we dont want you anymore.
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videos like this is why Women are so crazy in America. They dont meet your every need, He doesnt agree with everything you say, They speak and dont validate your every thought, dont feel good sometimes, Call you out on your BS, and my favorite someone says so, so it must be true. NPD narcassistic self centered women. Check. No wonder we dont want you anymore.
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Stephen
56 years old now, lived with 6 woman in my life, the last one I was together with for a year & married for 3 years, had a child together before I was told that she only did because apparently I wanted it so much, . guess it's me then! .Divorced at 44, been single ever since, glad for my daughter. but relationships, forget it!
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56 years old now, lived with 6 woman in my life, the last one I was together with for a year & married for 3 years, had a child together before I was told that she only did because apparently I wanted it so much, . guess it's me then! .Divorced at 44, been single ever since, glad for my daughter. but relationships, forget it!
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VulcanXIV
You're close ones can tell pointer is really hit or miss. Tons of relationships going down the drain these days because groupies always tell each other to be fierce and independent, to party and ditch her at every little problem. Our times are full of some sinful thinking yo
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You're close ones can tell pointer is really hit or miss. Tons of relationships going down the drain these days because groupies always tell each other to be fierce and independent, to party and ditch her at every little problem. Our times are full of some sinful thinking yo
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himenesu93
Hey really nice animated and edited video! I wanted to point out that the audio quality is not so good though, it was hard for me to understand many of your sentences and had to crank the volume all up. Just wanted to give you some feedback on that. Keep it going!
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Hey really nice animated and edited video! I wanted to point out that the audio quality is not so good though, it was hard for me to understand many of your sentences and had to crank the volume all up. Just wanted to give you some feedback on that. Keep it going!
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Emma
I hated that I fell for someone so hard. :. Didnt even mean to, it just happened. It turns out that he is what you call emotionally unavailable, but he had these ways with me and every time we talked this was like my twin, so he always tended to feel so special.
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I hated that I fell for someone so hard. :. Didnt even mean to, it just happened. It turns out that he is what you call emotionally unavailable, but he had these ways with me and every time we talked this was like my twin, so he always tended to feel so special.
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matus
few points are true but other people/friends cant tell you anything about your relationship, bc they arent in one you are in. they can talk about it with you, but if they are forcing you to end it or change and dont listen to you, you shouldnt too
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few points are true but other people/friends cant tell you anything about your relationship, bc they arent in one you are in. they can talk about it with you, but if they are forcing you to end it or change and dont listen to you, you shouldnt too
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Shan
I'm glad I do not take me 7 signs to see that they are not the one I can see that and I'm glad I'm not lying to myself to make me stay with someone that I know it's not for me I used to do that thank God I have learned from that have a blessed day
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I'm glad I do not take me 7 signs to see that they are not the one I can see that and I'm glad I'm not lying to myself to make me stay with someone that I know it's not for me I used to do that thank God I have learned from that have a blessed day
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Robert
There is no one. Thats a Disney myth. That is also a scarcity mindset. The truth is, if you become high value (become the best version of yourself in body, mind, income and heart) there will be a lot of quality options for you
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There is no one. Thats a Disney myth. That is also a scarcity mindset. The truth is, if you become high value (become the best version of yourself in body, mind, income and heart) there will be a lot of quality options for you
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Wesley
I really watched this to grade myself than her, Im happy I did, but I failed a couple of the grievances and I hate that Ive done that to her. I just hope I can fix myself before I ruin this. She passed with flying colors obv.
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I really watched this to grade myself than her, Im happy I did, but I failed a couple of the grievances and I hate that Ive done that to her. I just hope I can fix myself before I ruin this. She passed with flying colors obv.
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Robert
I think I will stop searching for a partner beacuse I don't think I can have a happy life, I'm lonely as ever and I start to rot inside out (may be my last words before I izolate myself out of this cruel and harsh world)
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I think I will stop searching for a partner beacuse I don't think I can have a happy life, I'm lonely as ever and I start to rot inside out (may be my last words before I izolate myself out of this cruel and harsh world)
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Astrid
I geuss in our case our ideas on kids and marriage don't meet, he seems to be pushing it away by saying we will see, maybe in a few years so I sort of know now, today he comes back from a trip and I'm going to tell him.
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I geuss in our case our ideas on kids and marriage don't meet, he seems to be pushing it away by saying we will see, maybe in a few years so I sort of know now, today he comes back from a trip and I'm going to tell him.
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Gretchen
What if you have seen most of these in your partner and then in turn become the person who is highly critical due to circumstances. I am working on stating things in I feel statement instead some days are difficult.
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What if you have seen most of these in your partner and then in turn become the person who is highly critical due to circumstances. I am working on stating things in I feel statement instead some days are difficult.
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R2D2inAustralia
If you wake up feeling dead inside it drives you down further. I reflect on my life and wonder if ill ever be happy. To me happy would be smiling at my last breath. I dont think i can ever pick a day. For now
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If you wake up feeling dead inside it drives you down further. I reflect on my life and wonder if ill ever be happy. To me happy would be smiling at my last breath. I dont think i can ever pick a day. For now
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