7 Signs 'Fawning' Is Ruining Your Life (Trauma)
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Date: 2023-12-12
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Comments and reviews: 18
Of_Your_Volition
Well the more I think about it the more it seems I might behave this way! I do my best to be as nice as I can. I was invited to a Christmas party a few days ago and some optional short events were a potluck and a white elephant give away! I did both and brought 4 presents that we re pretty nice the make sure everyone would be happy and some homemade fortune cookies. There were 7 people in total and one other person brought food while that person (the host specifically) also brought a present and one other person did. When I realized I didn t bring enough for everyone else I felt really guilty. Luckily I am good at origami and folded a 5th gift. I still felt bad later and made sure to help clean up with the host of the party and it s not the first time I did something like this. I always feel it s not enough and I may upset those around me. I only interact with people about once every two weeks with the exception of parties I m invited too. I hope all I do make others happy. The costumes I make and wear the amount of things I offer is it enough?
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Well the more I think about it the more it seems I might behave this way! I do my best to be as nice as I can. I was invited to a Christmas party a few days ago and some optional short events were a potluck and a white elephant give away! I did both and brought 4 presents that we re pretty nice the make sure everyone would be happy and some homemade fortune cookies. There were 7 people in total and one other person brought food while that person (the host specifically) also brought a present and one other person did. When I realized I didn t bring enough for everyone else I felt really guilty. Luckily I am good at origami and folded a 5th gift. I still felt bad later and made sure to help clean up with the host of the party and it s not the first time I did something like this. I always feel it s not enough and I may upset those around me. I only interact with people about once every two weeks with the exception of parties I m invited too. I hope all I do make others happy. The costumes I make and wear the amount of things I offer is it enough?
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psych2go
Whelp, got all of them checked off, but that s something I already knew. I would add that one other reason why I prefer to be alone and don t ask for help is because in the past when I have forced myself to do so, the other person who offered to help always expected something in return, often something I couldn t give (even if I wanted to. Even when the other person was a friend. You can t expect help even when you ask for it, because a lot of people won t just help to help anymore - it seems like even that has become a transactional thing.
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Whelp, got all of them checked off, but that s something I already knew. I would add that one other reason why I prefer to be alone and don t ask for help is because in the past when I have forced myself to do so, the other person who offered to help always expected something in return, often something I couldn t give (even if I wanted to. Even when the other person was a friend. You can t expect help even when you ask for it, because a lot of people won t just help to help anymore - it seems like even that has become a transactional thing.
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Fl19ht7
It feels like you are constantly in danger, and you must walk on eggshells around even people you trust because one wrong move, no matter how small the mistake is, could get you hurt. You must be perfect without flaws
You are screaming and trapped inside your own head, but instead, what comes out is smiles and laughing, especially towards people taking advantage of you because you fawn time so many times. This isn't a metaphor. that's what happens. there's no controlling it and people don't think twice to take advantage of that.
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It feels like you are constantly in danger, and you must walk on eggshells around even people you trust because one wrong move, no matter how small the mistake is, could get you hurt. You must be perfect without flaws
You are screaming and trapped inside your own head, but instead, what comes out is smiles and laughing, especially towards people taking advantage of you because you fawn time so many times. This isn't a metaphor. that's what happens. there's no controlling it and people don't think twice to take advantage of that.
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jollymor1516
Oh my goodness, this is so relatable and true. I really wonder sometimes, why it can be so difficult to turn others down and just decide on making your own decisions. It s like you know what you want to do or what kind of choices you would like to make, but sometimes, it can feel overwhelming to say no to others, or at least for someone like me. I guess what it comes down to is just, being your own person and doing what you feel is right for you, at the end of the day.
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Oh my goodness, this is so relatable and true. I really wonder sometimes, why it can be so difficult to turn others down and just decide on making your own decisions. It s like you know what you want to do or what kind of choices you would like to make, but sometimes, it can feel overwhelming to say no to others, or at least for someone like me. I guess what it comes down to is just, being your own person and doing what you feel is right for you, at the end of the day.
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arthurpenfield8229
I had to fawn when mama was alive. In order to keep the peace and to make the beatings less painful. After she died, I stopped giving a flip because 23 years of trauma and pain, I had enough. Now? I'm 35, and can't stand humans. I'm amazed that my boyfriend, wants to be with me because I thought I was too screwed up for anyone to show me some love. I'm still not used to it.
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I had to fawn when mama was alive. In order to keep the peace and to make the beatings less painful. After she died, I stopped giving a flip because 23 years of trauma and pain, I had enough. Now? I'm 35, and can't stand humans. I'm amazed that my boyfriend, wants to be with me because I thought I was too screwed up for anyone to show me some love. I'm still not used to it.
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friedbaconsizzles
Wow, never knew there was a word for this. As someone who had friends that would bully him relentlessly throughout elementary to high school, every sign that was mentioned has played a significant portion in my life. I may be having an emotional outburst right now, but it's because this video has struck a chord.
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Wow, never knew there was a word for this. As someone who had friends that would bully him relentlessly throughout elementary to high school, every sign that was mentioned has played a significant portion in my life. I may be having an emotional outburst right now, but it's because this video has struck a chord.
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merrb3551
Thank you. Can you create content about this situation: In recent years I suddenly get flashbacks and terrible feelings of my childhood memories. I can't do anything about it. I talk to myself, I journal and I study but I don't know what is wrong with me. I was reminded of some things I wasn't even mad about before.
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Thank you. Can you create content about this situation: In recent years I suddenly get flashbacks and terrible feelings of my childhood memories. I can't do anything about it. I talk to myself, I journal and I study but I don't know what is wrong with me. I was reminded of some things I wasn't even mad about before.
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psych2go
Not sure if I'm confusing being overly polite with fawning but as someone who has an apology reflex and altruism neglect, I relate to some of these very much. Not sure where it stems from; my childhood was a decent one but even my parents, grandparents and friends think I'm sacrificing/apologising a tad much
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Not sure if I'm confusing being overly polite with fawning but as someone who has an apology reflex and altruism neglect, I relate to some of these very much. Not sure where it stems from; my childhood was a decent one but even my parents, grandparents and friends think I'm sacrificing/apologising a tad much
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Solitary retreat 1: 09
2. Harmonious appeasement 1: 46
3. Apology reflex 2: 09
4. Helper's burden 2: 34
5. Altruistic neglect 2: 59
6. Perfectionist idealism 3: 23
7. Suppressed emotional eruptions 3: 50
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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Timestamps
1. Solitary retreat 1: 09
2. Harmonious appeasement 1: 46
3. Apology reflex 2: 09
4. Helper's burden 2: 34
5. Altruistic neglect 2: 59
6. Perfectionist idealism 3: 23
7. Suppressed emotional eruptions 3: 50
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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psych2go
I had criticized by someone who didnt trust my boundaries especially a toxic siblings who wont appreciate my feelings that I feel burden from my mistakes. Thats I why I decided to do things right to prevent from any cause of emotional harm and wounds of a past trauma of my family
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I had criticized by someone who didnt trust my boundaries especially a toxic siblings who wont appreciate my feelings that I feel burden from my mistakes. Thats I why I decided to do things right to prevent from any cause of emotional harm and wounds of a past trauma of my family
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JL15545
Having been scapegoated and bullied my whole life, I somehow unconsciously see myself apologizing to people for no reason thinking whatever bad happened was my fault. A lot of times I uncontrollably will say sorry for what others have done wrong.
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Having been scapegoated and bullied my whole life, I somehow unconsciously see myself apologizing to people for no reason thinking whatever bad happened was my fault. A lot of times I uncontrollably will say sorry for what others have done wrong.
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psych2go
Me and my gf had a huge fight this year and we even separated for a week and since then I m stuck in fawning I just can t stop it s like a response because I don t want to make her mad but the fawning it s noticeable and it gets things worse
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Me and my gf had a huge fight this year and we even separated for a week and since then I m stuck in fawning I just can t stop it s like a response because I don t want to make her mad but the fawning it s noticeable and it gets things worse
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NarcSurvivor
Fawning is when we try to pacify, often narcissistic people. It s where we just try to be who they want us to be, to keep them off our backs. Ironically, they often take our trauma response as genuine interest and use it to punish us.
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Fawning is when we try to pacify, often narcissistic people. It s where we just try to be who they want us to be, to keep them off our backs. Ironically, they often take our trauma response as genuine interest and use it to punish us.
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PancakeRights
01: 08 Solitary retreat.
01: 48 Harmonious appeasement.
02: 10 Apology reflex.
02: 33 Helper's burden.
03: 00 Altruistic neglect.
03: 23 Perfectionist idealism.
03: 47 Suppressed emotional eruptions.
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01: 08 Solitary retreat.
01: 48 Harmonious appeasement.
02: 10 Apology reflex.
02: 33 Helper's burden.
03: 00 Altruistic neglect.
03: 23 Perfectionist idealism.
03: 47 Suppressed emotional eruptions.
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jessemarquez951
Dang 3, 4, 5, and 7. Wasnt aware about constantly apologizing was a form of fawning. Also 7 i dont have it with other people usually its when im alone it feels like i need to scream so i end up screaming
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Dang 3, 4, 5, and 7. Wasnt aware about constantly apologizing was a form of fawning. Also 7 i dont have it with other people usually its when im alone it feels like i need to scream so i end up screaming
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varun. varghese10
Growing up I used to be a people pleaser but it resulted in me being a hesitant person. It's such a redeeming feeling when you know how genuine and sincere kindness differs from people pleasing.
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Growing up I used to be a people pleaser but it resulted in me being a hesitant person. It's such a redeeming feeling when you know how genuine and sincere kindness differs from people pleasing.
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sarsgarrs
I saw a reddit post recently about what are tell tale songs you grew up in an abusive home. . I relate alot with this video and that post. Problem is I cant identify anything that traumatic I'm my past
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I saw a reddit post recently about what are tell tale songs you grew up in an abusive home. . I relate alot with this video and that post. Problem is I cant identify anything that traumatic I'm my past
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Awoken777
The time we spend fawning should be the time we spend healing and focusing on ourselves above anyone else that way our specific individual will gravitate toward us if they are meant for us.
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The time we spend fawning should be the time we spend healing and focusing on ourselves above anyone else that way our specific individual will gravitate toward us if they are meant for us.
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