STOP These 7 Toxic Phrases Now
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Date: 2024-10-18
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Comments and reviews: 20
MegaManNeo
Oh that's an interesting video to me. The way I speak was subject for bullies to attack me especially during my childhood and early teen years. Oddly enough (in a positive way, this made me start considering how I put words and what weight I gave them before saying anything, leading to self-reflection in a way too.
The you always thing is something most people (including me) love to use as part of their language and I noticed too it's semi optimal, especially when trying to bring in helpful critics.
Later lines in this video usually tend to come in society these days, showing how rough things have become. My department's supervisor who is very narcissistic triggered me badly multiple times for instance used the get over it one brutally when I came back to work after some weeks as mom passed away and I wasn't yet on full steam again (and never was again since then.
I actually could write about every line mentioned here but that'd take too long. So just thank you, Psych2Go team, this video was super interesting for me to watch.
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Oh that's an interesting video to me. The way I speak was subject for bullies to attack me especially during my childhood and early teen years. Oddly enough (in a positive way, this made me start considering how I put words and what weight I gave them before saying anything, leading to self-reflection in a way too.
The you always thing is something most people (including me) love to use as part of their language and I noticed too it's semi optimal, especially when trying to bring in helpful critics.
Later lines in this video usually tend to come in society these days, showing how rough things have become. My department's supervisor who is very narcissistic triggered me badly multiple times for instance used the get over it one brutally when I came back to work after some weeks as mom passed away and I wasn't yet on full steam again (and never was again since then.
I actually could write about every line mentioned here but that'd take too long. So just thank you, Psych2Go team, this video was super interesting for me to watch.
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Scugzerker
2: 11 It's really funny actually. We had to learn proper English for years just to see native English speakers barely understand the difference between your/you're and there/they're/their for instance. Although that's not to say my English is perfect.
3: 03 I've actually been labeled too insensitive at times. I may feel a lot sometimes, but I hardly ever express my distress fully.
4: 08 Just like don't be sad. Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear. My dark thoughts of self-hate and ending myself have magically disappeared!
I used to be empathetic - or so I've been told, but after some crap in my life I've basically lost that part of mine. I try to, but I just cannot. Most likely because I no longer have the mental flexibility/capacity to show empathy after a bunch of traumas (that more or less fall in the same category so to speak.
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2: 11 It's really funny actually. We had to learn proper English for years just to see native English speakers barely understand the difference between your/you're and there/they're/their for instance. Although that's not to say my English is perfect.
3: 03 I've actually been labeled too insensitive at times. I may feel a lot sometimes, but I hardly ever express my distress fully.
4: 08 Just like don't be sad. Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear. My dark thoughts of self-hate and ending myself have magically disappeared!
I used to be empathetic - or so I've been told, but after some crap in my life I've basically lost that part of mine. I try to, but I just cannot. Most likely because I no longer have the mental flexibility/capacity to show empathy after a bunch of traumas (that more or less fall in the same category so to speak.
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Christianq209
Just remember guys, and this is not a sermon, it is the Gods honest truth. Only God knows you more than anyone else does. I made that same mistake, caring about the blasmephy on others that pours out. But truth is, and 1 John 3: 20 proves this, Whenever our heart condemns us, for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. And no man can judge but God, Don't judge others, and God will not judge you. If you judge others, you will be judged the same way you judge them - Matthew 7: 1-25. So please, they are just obstacles by God to show how much you can obey him, while on the other hand, Satan tempts you. The devil can't do anything to you, only you do things yourself. The demon can not, shall not and will not control you nor end your journey. He can only hurt the heart and the mind.
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Just remember guys, and this is not a sermon, it is the Gods honest truth. Only God knows you more than anyone else does. I made that same mistake, caring about the blasmephy on others that pours out. But truth is, and 1 John 3: 20 proves this, Whenever our heart condemns us, for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. And no man can judge but God, Don't judge others, and God will not judge you. If you judge others, you will be judged the same way you judge them - Matthew 7: 1-25. So please, they are just obstacles by God to show how much you can obey him, while on the other hand, Satan tempts you. The devil can't do anything to you, only you do things yourself. The demon can not, shall not and will not control you nor end your journey. He can only hurt the heart and the mind.
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lukavelickovic9276
I consider myself a very empathetic person. I also have very strong feelings towards certain things and the actions that people make. I believe that I have some unresolved traumas to deal with that made me feel this way. Hearing people tell you Just get over it or You're upset about that You're so sensitive. makes me feel like I just want to get offended, but really, the things that happened in the past are still very much affecting how I see the world, and everything right/wrong(and everything in between) with it.
Please don't judge a book by its' cover. Just because someone is reacting strongly to what someone said to them doesn't mean they're a drama queen/king. It may be that it's resurfacing some things from the past. Act towards people the way you want others to act towards yourself.
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I consider myself a very empathetic person. I also have very strong feelings towards certain things and the actions that people make. I believe that I have some unresolved traumas to deal with that made me feel this way. Hearing people tell you Just get over it or You're upset about that You're so sensitive. makes me feel like I just want to get offended, but really, the things that happened in the past are still very much affecting how I see the world, and everything right/wrong(and everything in between) with it.
Please don't judge a book by its' cover. Just because someone is reacting strongly to what someone said to them doesn't mean they're a drama queen/king. It may be that it's resurfacing some things from the past. Act towards people the way you want others to act towards yourself.
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KiallVunMyeret
i cant believe you’re upset about this
I'm a bit on the fence about this one, i think it depents a lot on context
I agree that this phrase can and more often then not will be used in a toxic manner
But there are cases where people do in fact overreact to things, and i don't think it's a good idea to silence the ability to call that out.
Yes people 100% should be more empathatic and try to understand where the other person is coming from but it is equally important to be open to the possibility that you are making mountains out of anthills. Sometimes realising the thing you've been upset about isn't actually a big deal can improve your life immensily
Validating feelings that are essentially nothing but hot air isn't going to do anybody any favours
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i cant believe you’re upset about this
I'm a bit on the fence about this one, i think it depents a lot on context
I agree that this phrase can and more often then not will be used in a toxic manner
But there are cases where people do in fact overreact to things, and i don't think it's a good idea to silence the ability to call that out.
Yes people 100% should be more empathatic and try to understand where the other person is coming from but it is equally important to be open to the possibility that you are making mountains out of anthills. Sometimes realising the thing you've been upset about isn't actually a big deal can improve your life immensily
Validating feelings that are essentially nothing but hot air isn't going to do anybody any favours
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slashersc
time stamps!
1 0: 45 you always. ==> I've noticed that sometimes.
2 1: 30 i can't belive you're upset about this ==> i see this is bothering you
3 2: 02 your english is so good for someone from [xxxxxx] ==> you're english is fantastic, i admire the insights you share
4 2: 30 it's all in your head (dear god) ==> your feeling are valid and im here for you
5 2: 55 you're too emotional ==> i appreciate your openness
6 3: 30 stop asking if im okay, everythig is fine ==> im upset(/not fine) but im not ready to talk about it
7 3: 55 just get over it ==> i see this is really hard for you, how can i support you with that (offering support and empathy)
(it's my first time ever doing time stamps yall so i apologize if there are inconveniences)
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time stamps!
1 0: 45 you always. ==> I've noticed that sometimes.
2 1: 30 i can't belive you're upset about this ==> i see this is bothering you
3 2: 02 your english is so good for someone from [xxxxxx] ==> you're english is fantastic, i admire the insights you share
4 2: 30 it's all in your head (dear god) ==> your feeling are valid and im here for you
5 2: 55 you're too emotional ==> i appreciate your openness
6 3: 30 stop asking if im okay, everythig is fine ==> im upset(/not fine) but im not ready to talk about it
7 3: 55 just get over it ==> i see this is really hard for you, how can i support you with that (offering support and empathy)
(it's my first time ever doing time stamps yall so i apologize if there are inconveniences)
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4. 0. 7. 7
This is exactly and precisely what’s wrong in the world. This mindset. The person receiving the information is all we have to focus on. Nothing more. This notion that others can be responsible for how we react is insanity. We are not puppets. There is not a single word that can be spoken that can have any effect, if the person receiving the information is prepared with how to deal with different situations. Not one word.
There are always going to be situations where people are insensitive or are simply having a bad day or in a mood and lash out.
That’s never going to change. What we do have 100% control of rather, is how we interpret and REACT. It would be much more beneficial to focus on that. Everything else is a complete waste of time.
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This is exactly and precisely what’s wrong in the world. This mindset. The person receiving the information is all we have to focus on. Nothing more. This notion that others can be responsible for how we react is insanity. We are not puppets. There is not a single word that can be spoken that can have any effect, if the person receiving the information is prepared with how to deal with different situations. Not one word.
There are always going to be situations where people are insensitive or are simply having a bad day or in a mood and lash out.
That’s never going to change. What we do have 100% control of rather, is how we interpret and REACT. It would be much more beneficial to focus on that. Everything else is a complete waste of time.
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fykuro1016
It's all in your head sucks to hear or see someone say it to someone else. I do want to know someone's opinion on this, is telling someone that their emotions are valid but the feeling comes from their perception based on old toxic experiences and not reality. In situations such as someone feeling like noone in the group cares about them or thinks them, but they also stop talking completely at some point because they overthink that. To me it feels like a self fulfilling prophecy and I dunno how to help someone with this issue aside from them just changing their perception as they're no longer in an environment that is that toxic. Telling them that makes them feel invalidated and has the same effect as if someone said it's all in your head.
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It's all in your head sucks to hear or see someone say it to someone else. I do want to know someone's opinion on this, is telling someone that their emotions are valid but the feeling comes from their perception based on old toxic experiences and not reality. In situations such as someone feeling like noone in the group cares about them or thinks them, but they also stop talking completely at some point because they overthink that. To me it feels like a self fulfilling prophecy and I dunno how to help someone with this issue aside from them just changing their perception as they're no longer in an environment that is that toxic. Telling them that makes them feel invalidated and has the same effect as if someone said it's all in your head.
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Galaxenro
I’ve been told several times that I’m really sensitive. I’ve got some mental trauma from when I younger and I was bullied because I reacted in an unexpected way. Now I have a fear of sharing my feelings in public because I’m scared of being judged.
Another phrase that I hear a lot is That’s something that [insert characteristic] people do. I especially hear this when that characteristic is Autism. I have Autism and I feel hurt when people say this. It makes me feel like I have something wrong with me and that I’m abnormal. I also feel hurt for the people who are more severely Autistic and are more easily labeled as odd. I especially hear it from peers my age. This phrase drives me off the rails and I want it to stop.
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I’ve been told several times that I’m really sensitive. I’ve got some mental trauma from when I younger and I was bullied because I reacted in an unexpected way. Now I have a fear of sharing my feelings in public because I’m scared of being judged.
Another phrase that I hear a lot is That’s something that [insert characteristic] people do. I especially hear this when that characteristic is Autism. I have Autism and I feel hurt when people say this. It makes me feel like I have something wrong with me and that I’m abnormal. I also feel hurt for the people who are more severely Autistic and are more easily labeled as odd. I especially hear it from peers my age. This phrase drives me off the rails and I want it to stop.
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MarquisVonMonster
I get it but sometimes everything’s fine. stop asking me if I’m ok just works.
Some people just get too nosy and don’t understand if you say your fine, CONSTANTLY attempting to open me up when I want to be left to my thoughts, is only closing me off more to them.
I find that when I get to the point of such a harsh reaction towards a person, it’s usually the one person that doesn’t get the first two hints of me keeping conversations very very direct and short, and avoiding conversation with anyone in general. When passive hints are being ignored, the next response has to be direct. I really really hate my boundaries being ignored. I’ve given up on a lot of people in my life because of this.
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I get it but sometimes everything’s fine. stop asking me if I’m ok just works.
Some people just get too nosy and don’t understand if you say your fine, CONSTANTLY attempting to open me up when I want to be left to my thoughts, is only closing me off more to them.
I find that when I get to the point of such a harsh reaction towards a person, it’s usually the one person that doesn’t get the first two hints of me keeping conversations very very direct and short, and avoiding conversation with anyone in general. When passive hints are being ignored, the next response has to be direct. I really really hate my boundaries being ignored. I’ve given up on a lot of people in my life because of this.
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andreimircea2254
5: 14
Anything akin to But your family will always be there for you or family will always be a family. Because more often than not, it is used to tell people who deal with toxic, neglectful and/or abusive family members to just shut up and keep those awful people in your life despite the lack of signs that indicate that they want to change for the better. Family are the people who act like family, not those who share blood, the CAN two overlap, but it is NEVER a guarantee and therefore it should be treated as such.
In my culture I deal with this kind of invalidation often and mine’s isn’t the only one. I wish this kind of sayings would truly die out already because it makes life worse for everyone.
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5: 14
Anything akin to But your family will always be there for you or family will always be a family. Because more often than not, it is used to tell people who deal with toxic, neglectful and/or abusive family members to just shut up and keep those awful people in your life despite the lack of signs that indicate that they want to change for the better. Family are the people who act like family, not those who share blood, the CAN two overlap, but it is NEVER a guarantee and therefore it should be treated as such.
In my culture I deal with this kind of invalidation often and mine’s isn’t the only one. I wish this kind of sayings would truly die out already because it makes life worse for everyone.
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jking4854
I have no idea how Psych2Go is always timed perfectly, as if people that need it are on the same wavelength.
In a class I had a few days ago we were discussing mental health and the professor said something among the lines that suicidal people should think about patients with serious conditions that hold on to life. I don't think he could have said something more insensitive even if he tried.
And not too long ago a friend of mine was unwilling to apologize for something that he let happen to me, even if it was by accident, telling me he was not gonna feel bad about it. I've known people that refuse to apologize for certain stuff, they're the worst.
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I have no idea how Psych2Go is always timed perfectly, as if people that need it are on the same wavelength.
In a class I had a few days ago we were discussing mental health and the professor said something among the lines that suicidal people should think about patients with serious conditions that hold on to life. I don't think he could have said something more insensitive even if he tried.
And not too long ago a friend of mine was unwilling to apologize for something that he let happen to me, even if it was by accident, telling me he was not gonna feel bad about it. I've known people that refuse to apologize for certain stuff, they're the worst.
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psych2go
It's all in your head Thanks! I thought it was in my spleen or pancreas. :/
When will you get over your dog's death (heard two months after losing him. Eh. Never mentioned the topic again, I grieve in solitude.
You're too sensitive - I'm an HSP, heard this EVERY second of my childhood from everyone: parents, family, teachers. I started to be ashamed of my sensitivity and I started to watch films alone, never share my true feelings about things and I toughened up. I am cynical these days and I seriously don't care about others but that was the goal, no I am sensitive, but I learned to care less and suppress my emotions.
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It's all in your head Thanks! I thought it was in my spleen or pancreas. :/
When will you get over your dog's death (heard two months after losing him. Eh. Never mentioned the topic again, I grieve in solitude.
You're too sensitive - I'm an HSP, heard this EVERY second of my childhood from everyone: parents, family, teachers. I started to be ashamed of my sensitivity and I started to watch films alone, never share my true feelings about things and I toughened up. I am cynical these days and I seriously don't care about others but that was the goal, no I am sensitive, but I learned to care less and suppress my emotions.
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XxAlyStarZxX
Me who got told most of this things:
Jokes aside, thanks for warning us and spreading awareness about this! I hope the viewers will take this as a way to change their way to talk to people.
I personally was already aware of this, so im always careful of what i say(i stay silent all the time and try to nit say anything if not necessary--) but people around me arent. so im hurt all the time, but what hurts most is because i try my best to not hurt people but nobody ever cared to do the same with me.
I kinda hope people will understand this video.
This needs to get 1M or even more views. :)
Thank you.
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Me who got told most of this things:
Jokes aside, thanks for warning us and spreading awareness about this! I hope the viewers will take this as a way to change their way to talk to people.
I personally was already aware of this, so im always careful of what i say(i stay silent all the time and try to nit say anything if not necessary--) but people around me arent. so im hurt all the time, but what hurts most is because i try my best to not hurt people but nobody ever cared to do the same with me.
I kinda hope people will understand this video.
This needs to get 1M or even more views. :)
Thank you.
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ruthviks6318
I have heard it soo often that i'm actually used to it. I can even find my mistakes with these words. But what hurts me the most is how the people saying it, treat me. They look at me, not as an outsider, but as a stockpile of waste. The next problem is, they tell me these, and tell me to fix myself up. If i ask how, they literally tell me to shut my dck up and do my job coz it's not their business. And they scold me again, for being like that. Or it's just that im too introverted and lonely that i avoid them.
Or both (most probably)
Good advice
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I have heard it soo often that i'm actually used to it. I can even find my mistakes with these words. But what hurts me the most is how the people saying it, treat me. They look at me, not as an outsider, but as a stockpile of waste. The next problem is, they tell me these, and tell me to fix myself up. If i ask how, they literally tell me to shut my dck up and do my job coz it's not their business. And they scold me again, for being like that. Or it's just that im too introverted and lonely that i avoid them.
Or both (most probably)
Good advice
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carolanderson5075
As someone with chronic illnesses and mental health issues, my mom will frequently say and you think you have it bad Or other people have it worse. I know she’s trying to help me out my issues into perspective, but that’s not the way to help someone do that. It just makes me feel like she’s constantly undermining my struggles and saying they aren’t as bad as they really are. I know full well that other people have it worse, but that doesn’t make my struggles any less valid or significant.
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As someone with chronic illnesses and mental health issues, my mom will frequently say and you think you have it bad Or other people have it worse. I know she’s trying to help me out my issues into perspective, but that’s not the way to help someone do that. It just makes me feel like she’s constantly undermining my struggles and saying they aren’t as bad as they really are. I know full well that other people have it worse, but that doesn’t make my struggles any less valid or significant.
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Jaricko
The only ones i disagree with are You always / You never
Being that i do in fact know at least a couple people in my life who legitimately never consider others and repeatedly do the same potentially harmful behaviors over and over. I do not sugar coat or dance around the issue with this type of person. People who are not considerate of others, and who repeatedly do the same action potentially to the detriment of others. do not deserve my compassion or empathy.
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The only ones i disagree with are You always / You never
Being that i do in fact know at least a couple people in my life who legitimately never consider others and repeatedly do the same potentially harmful behaviors over and over. I do not sugar coat or dance around the issue with this type of person. People who are not considerate of others, and who repeatedly do the same action potentially to the detriment of others. do not deserve my compassion or empathy.
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aqilahabubakar5962
I just had an eye-opener moment that always and never are generalizing terms because it's been so used so often around me; I did not realize how it actually would impact people with such words.
I have often been told that I am sooooo sensitive and too sensitive. It makes the word 'sensitive' labeled in my head as a negative thing. Whenever I hear the word 'sensitive', it makes me feel like I did something wrong and I made someone feel upset with me.
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I just had an eye-opener moment that always and never are generalizing terms because it's been so used so often around me; I did not realize how it actually would impact people with such words.
I have often been told that I am sooooo sensitive and too sensitive. It makes the word 'sensitive' labeled in my head as a negative thing. Whenever I hear the word 'sensitive', it makes me feel like I did something wrong and I made someone feel upset with me.
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ravenclawfairy3648
Stop asking if I'm okay. Everything is fine. This hit home.
I am autistic. Emotional regulation is hard for me when I am upset. I need time to process the feelings I am feeling before I can share them. I didn't used to explain that to others. Now, I say I need time to process what I am feeling right now. When I am ready to talk, I will let you know. Thank you for caring about me and I appreciate your patience as I process my feelings.
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Stop asking if I'm okay. Everything is fine. This hit home.
I am autistic. Emotional regulation is hard for me when I am upset. I need time to process the feelings I am feeling before I can share them. I didn't used to explain that to others. Now, I say I need time to process what I am feeling right now. When I am ready to talk, I will let you know. Thank you for caring about me and I appreciate your patience as I process my feelings.
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coreymay918
I contest i cant believe you’re upset about this because not all feelings are valid in every given scenario. For example five of us in a group and we voted where to eat. 3 of us said El Pollo Loco, 1 said KFC and 1 said Burger King. And the person who picked BK is now upset. Why should their feelings be validated And if we appease them doesn't that invalidate four people's emotions Why are you crying because you got out voted
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I contest i cant believe you’re upset about this because not all feelings are valid in every given scenario. For example five of us in a group and we voted where to eat. 3 of us said El Pollo Loco, 1 said KFC and 1 said Burger King. And the person who picked BK is now upset. Why should their feelings be validated And if we appease them doesn't that invalidate four people's emotions Why are you crying because you got out voted
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