Should I Date My Old High School Teacher? Ask Stephen
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There were a handful of times we connected in person over that summer, physically never went past kissing. When senior classes started, he was gone. Rumors spread life wildfire that he had been dating a student. I panicked that my real life was about to become so much worse. The rumors weren't about me but another girl. I never heard from him again. I was devastated. He made me think I was special. To this day I still remember his Volkswagen Rabbit with the moon roof, his bow tie & suspenders, horn-rimmed glasses. and his name. The girl the rumors were about & I never talked about this, never compared stories. Not one word. I regret not reaching out to her, not stepping up & saying ME TOO. At that time, I didn't know those were the right things to do. I was so mentally intertwined with him that I was only worried about him. Was HE ok? Why wasn't he calling me to let me know where he was? What about our plans? I waited for communication from him that never came. I called his parents and couldn't understand why his mom cried, begged me to go away, and refused to tell me where he was. I had no idea he was a creep who got busted and his mom's heart was shattered at what he'd become.
I was groomed. Teenagers think they know it all, understand love & relationships. Let me say it for those in the back, even at 17 in 1988, I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS WRONG. We didn't have social media at that time. We didn't have instant access to world news at our fingertips. These things were not talked about. I dated my teacher for 2 years and no one had a clue. It's sad, disgusting, and took me years to process mentally as an adult to even accept.
Date: 2020-08-13
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Comments and reviews: 9
fanjoy
Nah, in my opinion, bad idea. Let's think about this. Why is he adding former students on social media and talking to them? Unless you're famous or something, why did a 34 yo man decide to follow a 23 yo woman? Nothing connects you other then he was your former teacher. I'm just sayin, it's suspect. I'm not a teacher but I've babysat kids before. If I talked to them 10 years later I'd just be like How have you been, what college did you end up going to, hows your mom. Ok cool take care nice talking to you I wouldn't start talking to them every day. Having stuff in common with people isn't that amazing. I'd find other people to date who weren't children I was responsible for 10 years ago. Also, Let's say you go out and end up dating. When people ask how you met you're gonna be reminded each time how he was your teacher when you were 13. Dude, you're 23, you can find another man to talk about work politics and dogs with. Like c'mon gorl. Whatever, you're both consenting adults but to me, the risk is not worth it.
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Nah, in my opinion, bad idea. Let's think about this. Why is he adding former students on social media and talking to them? Unless you're famous or something, why did a 34 yo man decide to follow a 23 yo woman? Nothing connects you other then he was your former teacher. I'm just sayin, it's suspect. I'm not a teacher but I've babysat kids before. If I talked to them 10 years later I'd just be like How have you been, what college did you end up going to, hows your mom. Ok cool take care nice talking to you I wouldn't start talking to them every day. Having stuff in common with people isn't that amazing. I'd find other people to date who weren't children I was responsible for 10 years ago. Also, Let's say you go out and end up dating. When people ask how you met you're gonna be reminded each time how he was your teacher when you were 13. Dude, you're 23, you can find another man to talk about work politics and dogs with. Like c'mon gorl. Whatever, you're both consenting adults but to me, the risk is not worth it.
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juan
I think you guys Kinda took her story and twisted tbh the teacher only taught at the school for a year middle school so they had 5 periods to teach probably 30 kids each class thats 150 kids he meet and only had for a few months then left to a different career he wanted what your friend was saying makes since if they we 1st graders like she said and saw them as 6 graders ya you spent all day with those 30 kids not 150 plus we arent even sure if she even talk to this teacher during the time he was the teacher and in her story she never made it seemed like they were in contact none stop during school or after no it was 10 years since they last seen each other she is a women now and if she and the OLD teacher she had have a lot in common and are getting along pretty great right now then why not I say she should go on the date its not gonna hurt they are both adults and are bonding now its not like the relationship started as when she was a student I feel like you guys judge the situation too hard on her and the guy
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I think you guys Kinda took her story and twisted tbh the teacher only taught at the school for a year middle school so they had 5 periods to teach probably 30 kids each class thats 150 kids he meet and only had for a few months then left to a different career he wanted what your friend was saying makes since if they we 1st graders like she said and saw them as 6 graders ya you spent all day with those 30 kids not 150 plus we arent even sure if she even talk to this teacher during the time he was the teacher and in her story she never made it seemed like they were in contact none stop during school or after no it was 10 years since they last seen each other she is a women now and if she and the OLD teacher she had have a lot in common and are getting along pretty great right now then why not I say she should go on the date its not gonna hurt they are both adults and are bonding now its not like the relationship started as when she was a student I feel like you guys judge the situation too hard on her and the guy
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Elisa
Ok, from Italy here and my bestie happens to be married to her once high school science teacher. She fell for him when we were in junior year(17yo, so did he, they discussed it together but didn't act on it until she graduated (19yo in Italy. They then dated for a few years and eventually got married when she was 25 and he was 44. Still married to this day. They are one of the sweetest couples I know. Mind you, I would NEVER EVER encourage such relationships and did, in fact, try to talk my friend out of this at first, but then had to change my mind, because their love was so overwhelming. I also felt for him, sometimes, bc he was so tortured by this himself all the time, and still is. But they are happy and this is a big deal to me, bc not everyone gets that.
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Ok, from Italy here and my bestie happens to be married to her once high school science teacher. She fell for him when we were in junior year(17yo, so did he, they discussed it together but didn't act on it until she graduated (19yo in Italy. They then dated for a few years and eventually got married when she was 25 and he was 44. Still married to this day. They are one of the sweetest couples I know. Mind you, I would NEVER EVER encourage such relationships and did, in fact, try to talk my friend out of this at first, but then had to change my mind, because their love was so overwhelming. I also felt for him, sometimes, bc he was so tortured by this himself all the time, and still is. But they are happy and this is a big deal to me, bc not everyone gets that.
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Grey
It wouldve been different if he taught her as like a senior in high school, or if he had been a college professor of hers. The age gap isnt weird to me (a family member only 7 years older than me is dating a guy 12 years older than her) - its definitely something to be careful with when youre in your 20s because it could get you into a very manipulative and toxic relationship but theyre not just all bad. It being 10 years later makes it a little less weird to me, but I still agree with what the teacher friend said about how its very shady due to the fact she was 13.
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It wouldve been different if he taught her as like a senior in high school, or if he had been a college professor of hers. The age gap isnt weird to me (a family member only 7 years older than me is dating a guy 12 years older than her) - its definitely something to be careful with when youre in your 20s because it could get you into a very manipulative and toxic relationship but theyre not just all bad. It being 10 years later makes it a little less weird to me, but I still agree with what the teacher friend said about how its very shady due to the fact she was 13.
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Cristal
Im not the same person I was 10 years ago, if I was meeting an old teacher from high school they would be meeting a whole different person and I bet they changed a lot too. Personally I would just meet up with them, see what their headspace is, and if theres a connection person to person or if its just a fascination on my end because omg thats my old hs teacher. Definitely weird but each situation is unique because every person is unique
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Im not the same person I was 10 years ago, if I was meeting an old teacher from high school they would be meeting a whole different person and I bet they changed a lot too. Personally I would just meet up with them, see what their headspace is, and if theres a connection person to person or if its just a fascination on my end because omg thats my old hs teacher. Definitely weird but each situation is unique because every person is unique
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shini
For me I think it's important to look at how it all started. Did they start talking because she was once his student? Did he reach out to her via social media saying Hey! Were you from XX? I was a teacher there! I think it would be ok for me personally if they started talking and later it came up but they are not spending the entire time reminiscing. That would be a red flag right there as to him, she is still a teenager.
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For me I think it's important to look at how it all started. Did they start talking because she was once his student? Did he reach out to her via social media saying Hey! Were you from XX? I was a teacher there! I think it would be ok for me personally if they started talking and later it came up but they are not spending the entire time reminiscing. That would be a red flag right there as to him, she is still a teenager.
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Susy
I don't think there would be harm in them meeting up. They are both different people than they were 10 years ago. It also depends if he recognizes her as his former student or it's just her that recognized him. I don't think it's inappropriate. If they go out and it feels weird then they don't have to go out again, but if the chemistry is there then they should go for it. It's not creepy. They are being overly dramatic.
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I don't think there would be harm in them meeting up. They are both different people than they were 10 years ago. It also depends if he recognizes her as his former student or it's just her that recognized him. I don't think it's inappropriate. If they go out and it feels weird then they don't have to go out again, but if the chemistry is there then they should go for it. It's not creepy. They are being overly dramatic.
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ZUNERA
I just have the same kinda situation I am not lying
I am 14 and there is my music sir who just keeps on hitting me. I am totally terrified my friends know abt it even my mom and bro does. But at the end of the day it's me who has to go to the school and deal with it. And also is just not safe for anyone out there in a relatable situation. If I was her I would have just blocked him.
It's scary
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I just have the same kinda situation I am not lying
I am 14 and there is my music sir who just keeps on hitting me. I am totally terrified my friends know abt it even my mom and bro does. But at the end of the day it's me who has to go to the school and deal with it. And also is just not safe for anyone out there in a relatable situation. If I was her I would have just blocked him.
It's scary
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Sarah
So heres my question, when you reconnected (she didnt say if he found her or she him or where they reconnected) did he know that she had been his student? Idk how many students he had and its possible that he didnt know and that would make that aspect less creepy. If he did know its so creepy! The other aspect is the age difference and I think Stephen is making a good point on that.
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So heres my question, when you reconnected (she didnt say if he found her or she him or where they reconnected) did he know that she had been his student? Idk how many students he had and its possible that he didnt know and that would make that aspect less creepy. If he did know its so creepy! The other aspect is the age difference and I think Stephen is making a good point on that.
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