7 Signs of an Incompatible Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Rique
After watching this video I realized that me and my ex werent on the same vibe anymore. Back in the beginning of our relationship we were very alike, we liked the same things, talked about the same things but as we grew older, our differences started to show. I wanted to study pharmacy and she wanted to study biomedicine, but after a while she started law school and I started to study pharmacy. We used to go out with our friends but because of the pandemic it was just her and I. We started our relationship when she was 16 and I was 17, we ended our relationship after 3 years, Im now 20 and shes now 19, we are different people compared to back then. Its very hard, we were very naive, in 2019 and 2020 we would be mad to each other but we had convo still, but in 2021 things just got way more intense, she didnt have enough patience, I did things that maybe have caused her to be more insecure, but I tried to right my wrongs, because well As human thats what we all try to do, at least thats what I think. But she didnt think that way, she couldnt handle our relationship no more. For the last 4 to 5 months of our relationship it was just me holding things up, I know that because she told me that every night she was going to bed thinking about the things we went through. In august 2021 I broke up with her but I went after her 1 week later, she accepted me again but after that, things werent like before. I tried to right my wrongs, as I said. We traveled a lot with her family, with my family, with our friends, but that wasnt enough, she was already fed up. She broke with me and she was happy, happier than she was with me, she went out with her friends one day after she broke up with me, was already talking to other dudes and I was like: where did I messed up. Now I see that I didnt do anything horribly wrong, neither her, but our connection was lost, thats why she left me and now I left her (finally. Anyways, being in a relationship requires a lot of energy, attention and care, if you give someone that but you fell that the other is not giving the same amount of that to you Dont wait, they wont change, they wont be like they were in the past, if things got colder and your cabin started to fall apart, just grab your coat and go after somewhere else, find another place to stay, or better, build your own house, your own things and after having all that you should go find love again.
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After watching this video I realized that me and my ex werent on the same vibe anymore. Back in the beginning of our relationship we were very alike, we liked the same things, talked about the same things but as we grew older, our differences started to show. I wanted to study pharmacy and she wanted to study biomedicine, but after a while she started law school and I started to study pharmacy. We used to go out with our friends but because of the pandemic it was just her and I. We started our relationship when she was 16 and I was 17, we ended our relationship after 3 years, Im now 20 and shes now 19, we are different people compared to back then. Its very hard, we were very naive, in 2019 and 2020 we would be mad to each other but we had convo still, but in 2021 things just got way more intense, she didnt have enough patience, I did things that maybe have caused her to be more insecure, but I tried to right my wrongs, because well As human thats what we all try to do, at least thats what I think. But she didnt think that way, she couldnt handle our relationship no more. For the last 4 to 5 months of our relationship it was just me holding things up, I know that because she told me that every night she was going to bed thinking about the things we went through. In august 2021 I broke up with her but I went after her 1 week later, she accepted me again but after that, things werent like before. I tried to right my wrongs, as I said. We traveled a lot with her family, with my family, with our friends, but that wasnt enough, she was already fed up. She broke with me and she was happy, happier than she was with me, she went out with her friends one day after she broke up with me, was already talking to other dudes and I was like: where did I messed up. Now I see that I didnt do anything horribly wrong, neither her, but our connection was lost, thats why she left me and now I left her (finally. Anyways, being in a relationship requires a lot of energy, attention and care, if you give someone that but you fell that the other is not giving the same amount of that to you Dont wait, they wont change, they wont be like they were in the past, if things got colder and your cabin started to fall apart, just grab your coat and go after somewhere else, find another place to stay, or better, build your own house, your own things and after having all that you should go find love again.
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Miri
I feel that this video misses two of the biggest indicators - are they on the same phase in life as you (have they finished school? do they already have a career? are they ready to settle down and get married or have kids, or would they prefer to travel the world and explore themselves) If their future plans don't line up with yours, or you can't picture them in the future you want for yourself, then even if you really like them, you're not compatible, not unless you're willing to drastically change or give up things in order to compromise and make room for them. Ask yourself if that's something you're genuinely okay with, or if it'll end up making you unhappy and possibly end up resenting them.
Second, are they on the same page of maturity as you? (Are they still figuring themselves and their life out? Are their mental and emotional landscapes stable? Do they do anything that you would consider childish or cringey? Would you consider them boring or do they do things you think only old people would do) These feelings can end up forming a power dynamic between you two. If they're too mature for you, then the relationship is probably better with them as a mentor, parental figure, or older sibling to you instead of a romantic partner. If they're too immature, then it might be best if you saw them as a younger sibling or someone to mentor so you can find someone who can grow with you and at your own pace, rather than potentially pressuring your partner to change and either slow down or speed up to match your pace.
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I feel that this video misses two of the biggest indicators - are they on the same phase in life as you (have they finished school? do they already have a career? are they ready to settle down and get married or have kids, or would they prefer to travel the world and explore themselves) If their future plans don't line up with yours, or you can't picture them in the future you want for yourself, then even if you really like them, you're not compatible, not unless you're willing to drastically change or give up things in order to compromise and make room for them. Ask yourself if that's something you're genuinely okay with, or if it'll end up making you unhappy and possibly end up resenting them.
Second, are they on the same page of maturity as you? (Are they still figuring themselves and their life out? Are their mental and emotional landscapes stable? Do they do anything that you would consider childish or cringey? Would you consider them boring or do they do things you think only old people would do) These feelings can end up forming a power dynamic between you two. If they're too mature for you, then the relationship is probably better with them as a mentor, parental figure, or older sibling to you instead of a romantic partner. If they're too immature, then it might be best if you saw them as a younger sibling or someone to mentor so you can find someone who can grow with you and at your own pace, rather than potentially pressuring your partner to change and either slow down or speed up to match your pace.
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Andy
My girlfriend and I are quite happy to go out together and not talk to anyone else. I have never met any of her friends and family but I'm not going to tell you here. All you need to know is that we understand why I can't. Maybe not until later on. She has however met some of my friends and my sister and brother in law, plus some of my neighbours and they love her. We have similar interests, but we don't have exactly the same interests but I love it when we find common ground in music, films and comedy. Because of her wanting to have a garden when she came to stay with me a couple of years ago, I now have a pretty garden which she started and I have continued and I share photos and videos of it with her. I am in England and she is in Tucson, AZ so it's a very long distance relationship. I love cigars; she hated cigars. I smoked cigars when she was here. Now she takes puffs of mine when I'm smoking them. We are VERY attracted to each other! Our relationship is not perfect and we do have our moments but we work through problems together because we want to make it work.
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My girlfriend and I are quite happy to go out together and not talk to anyone else. I have never met any of her friends and family but I'm not going to tell you here. All you need to know is that we understand why I can't. Maybe not until later on. She has however met some of my friends and my sister and brother in law, plus some of my neighbours and they love her. We have similar interests, but we don't have exactly the same interests but I love it when we find common ground in music, films and comedy. Because of her wanting to have a garden when she came to stay with me a couple of years ago, I now have a pretty garden which she started and I have continued and I share photos and videos of it with her. I am in England and she is in Tucson, AZ so it's a very long distance relationship. I love cigars; she hated cigars. I smoked cigars when she was here. Now she takes puffs of mine when I'm smoking them. We are VERY attracted to each other! Our relationship is not perfect and we do have our moments but we work through problems together because we want to make it work.
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Hitsuji-senpai
The funny thing is, when it came to social relationships outside of my ex-partner and I, it was always his friends and family we spent time with. But when it came to me either spending time with my friends and family and trying to include him in get togethers with them, he was often apprehensive and stubborn when it came to doing anything. Always saying Maybe or I don't know. And as far as I could tell, no one I know is mean or offensive. Everyone is warm and welcoming and fun. So when my ex and I were together, we would always just be alone or going to see his family, and I would see my family sometimes, and my friends hardly at all. Is that supposed to be manipulative or possessive behavior?
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The funny thing is, when it came to social relationships outside of my ex-partner and I, it was always his friends and family we spent time with. But when it came to me either spending time with my friends and family and trying to include him in get togethers with them, he was often apprehensive and stubborn when it came to doing anything. Always saying Maybe or I don't know. And as far as I could tell, no one I know is mean or offensive. Everyone is warm and welcoming and fun. So when my ex and I were together, we would always just be alone or going to see his family, and I would see my family sometimes, and my friends hardly at all. Is that supposed to be manipulative or possessive behavior?
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Nathan
Ugh this is so relatable, I've been in a relationship with this girl I met online for just over 2 years now, we met after one year of talking online. now her personality isn't perfect (imo) but that's completely why I fell in love with her, because we're so alike, and there are qualities that I really love about her, but I'm not attracted to her physically, and there's no intimacy because of that. She says to just wait, and that I will find her beautiful in time(she has a larger build, But I'm just concerned that it's not going to work because of the lack of intimacy, I'd like to think I'm not petty and I'm willing to be patient for a time, but I don't think I can wait years, help?
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Ugh this is so relatable, I've been in a relationship with this girl I met online for just over 2 years now, we met after one year of talking online. now her personality isn't perfect (imo) but that's completely why I fell in love with her, because we're so alike, and there are qualities that I really love about her, but I'm not attracted to her physically, and there's no intimacy because of that. She says to just wait, and that I will find her beautiful in time(she has a larger build, But I'm just concerned that it's not going to work because of the lack of intimacy, I'd like to think I'm not petty and I'm willing to be patient for a time, but I don't think I can wait years, help?
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SweetlyShay
I actually married someone who did mark off most of these scenarios for me. I did not yet know how to trust my own instincts and maybe I wanted to appease him more than to find true happiness and love. I have suffered because of it. I did compromise much of myself to make things work. Were still married almost six years later. Weve sought counseling and have shown growth but in hindsight I knew it would always be an uphill battle. As I told him before marriage, he is a good man just not right for me. But I feel guilt, empathy, manipulation, and ignorance caused me to push past that statement. Relationships are tough especially when youve yet to figure your own self out.
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I actually married someone who did mark off most of these scenarios for me. I did not yet know how to trust my own instincts and maybe I wanted to appease him more than to find true happiness and love. I have suffered because of it. I did compromise much of myself to make things work. Were still married almost six years later. Weve sought counseling and have shown growth but in hindsight I knew it would always be an uphill battle. As I told him before marriage, he is a good man just not right for me. But I feel guilt, empathy, manipulation, and ignorance caused me to push past that statement. Relationships are tough especially when youve yet to figure your own self out.
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Bethany
This video makes me want to cry. I recently rushed into moving in with my boyfriend and I am having a daily realization of how incompatible we are. We argue often, there is so much crying and resentment over stuff that has been done/said. It feels like what was once a good thing has now spiraled out of control into a never ending emotional rollercoaster of anxiety. I keep trying to tell myself it will be better, and that this is only temporary- however I am somewhat stuck in this living situation, and I feel myself not enjoying life in the slightest. My heart feels like it cant take it much longer, I wish a way out was as simple as pressing a button but it is not.
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This video makes me want to cry. I recently rushed into moving in with my boyfriend and I am having a daily realization of how incompatible we are. We argue often, there is so much crying and resentment over stuff that has been done/said. It feels like what was once a good thing has now spiraled out of control into a never ending emotional rollercoaster of anxiety. I keep trying to tell myself it will be better, and that this is only temporary- however I am somewhat stuck in this living situation, and I feel myself not enjoying life in the slightest. My heart feels like it cant take it much longer, I wish a way out was as simple as pressing a button but it is not.
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Creator
We are 19 and since 4 years together. This relationship makes me so sad, because he barely shows interest in a way I feel loved. I just want that he asks questions and that we can be silly together, but he always says that he is too introverted. But what broke my heart is that he do all the things I ever wished for in a relationship with his best friend(laughting, texting, asking randomly what's going on in ur life) So I am the problem? I have come to the point where I cry several times in a week. I am overreacting? My mind goes crazy to imagine being my whole life with someone together who can barely communicate with me. But the loving part in me has still hope.
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We are 19 and since 4 years together. This relationship makes me so sad, because he barely shows interest in a way I feel loved. I just want that he asks questions and that we can be silly together, but he always says that he is too introverted. But what broke my heart is that he do all the things I ever wished for in a relationship with his best friend(laughting, texting, asking randomly what's going on in ur life) So I am the problem? I have come to the point where I cry several times in a week. I am overreacting? My mind goes crazy to imagine being my whole life with someone together who can barely communicate with me. But the loving part in me has still hope.
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AAXS
If someone tells you they are afraid of showing you who they really are, believe them and walk away. They are basically telling you they are not going to be transparent and will keep secrets if they feel insecure. Their insecurity is NOT your problem (but certain types will try to make YOU the problem I. e. you have to make me feel safe. This is understandable but you should not, in your natural state have to snap yourself in half to do that. If they say they are uncomfortable showing themselves to you, take that as a sign that you are NOT a match for them and leave them to their journey.
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If someone tells you they are afraid of showing you who they really are, believe them and walk away. They are basically telling you they are not going to be transparent and will keep secrets if they feel insecure. Their insecurity is NOT your problem (but certain types will try to make YOU the problem I. e. you have to make me feel safe. This is understandable but you should not, in your natural state have to snap yourself in half to do that. If they say they are uncomfortable showing themselves to you, take that as a sign that you are NOT a match for them and leave them to their journey.
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Schizo
i am single now 8 years and i still think its not my fault even tho i would like to learn how to be a good partner but i dont necaicerly want to have a relationship where i dont like or want the person, i simply cant find a person i like cause i cant find a person that likes me when you are an adult people just dont care about you and i find it hard to find people my age, i think its the way things are to be in solidute and not have many apportunities to get to know people or hang out when you re like in your 20s and close to 30
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i am single now 8 years and i still think its not my fault even tho i would like to learn how to be a good partner but i dont necaicerly want to have a relationship where i dont like or want the person, i simply cant find a person i like cause i cant find a person that likes me when you are an adult people just dont care about you and i find it hard to find people my age, i think its the way things are to be in solidute and not have many apportunities to get to know people or hang out when you re like in your 20s and close to 30
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mickov
I broke up with someone recently and it left this weird feeling
All the points in this video were checked off, and even in the relationship I felt we never had anything in common.
I realized there was no chemistry and one sided passion, as I realized I'm aromantic.
I hope this feeling passes. It's a mix of regret, relief, guilt and loss
It was definitely a good decision to break up though
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I broke up with someone recently and it left this weird feeling
All the points in this video were checked off, and even in the relationship I felt we never had anything in common.
I realized there was no chemistry and one sided passion, as I realized I'm aromantic.
I hope this feeling passes. It's a mix of regret, relief, guilt and loss
It was definitely a good decision to break up though
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noirettebeauty
Fighting dirty also includes the person telling their friends and family about their disappointments with their partner. That is NOT fair fighting. I do NOT do that; Im from a large Filipino family and friend groupIm not going to send 50+ Filipinos at a white spouse and his mother and three friends. I know better. Fighting fair is respectful.
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Fighting dirty also includes the person telling their friends and family about their disappointments with their partner. That is NOT fair fighting. I do NOT do that; Im from a large Filipino family and friend groupIm not going to send 50+ Filipinos at a white spouse and his mother and three friends. I know better. Fighting fair is respectful.
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ilovetotri23
I am over 50 now, my partner, is 2 decades younger. We have been together for almost a decade! I have never loved anyone, as I do him. Based on this video we are NOT in an incompatible relationship, but based on the fact I clicked this video it means something in the algorithm seems to think I have doubts. I don't. Thanks for the vid.
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I am over 50 now, my partner, is 2 decades younger. We have been together for almost a decade! I have never loved anyone, as I do him. Based on this video we are NOT in an incompatible relationship, but based on the fact I clicked this video it means something in the algorithm seems to think I have doubts. I don't. Thanks for the vid.
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bermensch
It was difficult to watch this since I've been with my partner for 6 years. Not married, but I love her dearly and we've taken some time (her idea) due to incompatibility issues. I'm shocked and sad to see most of these apply to us. I love her, and I miss her. I don't want to think of the possibility of leaving her.
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It was difficult to watch this since I've been with my partner for 6 years. Not married, but I love her dearly and we've taken some time (her idea) due to incompatibility issues. I'm shocked and sad to see most of these apply to us. I love her, and I miss her. I don't want to think of the possibility of leaving her.
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aligensa
I don't think it's helpful to define compatibility so much by similarity, because then men and women would never be compatible. That degree of narcissism may actually be one of the reasons why so few relationships last anymore. I think it would be much more important to learn how to deal with differences.
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I don't think it's helpful to define compatibility so much by similarity, because then men and women would never be compatible. That degree of narcissism may actually be one of the reasons why so few relationships last anymore. I think it would be much more important to learn how to deal with differences.
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Marie
If you're feeling nervous to watch the video, that might also be a red flag.
With my ex, I was too scared to wonder if we were compatible and did anything so I wouldn't have to think about it.
Now, I'm just watching this out of interest and I'm glad to say my boyfriend and I have 0/7.
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If you're feeling nervous to watch the video, that might also be a red flag.
With my ex, I was too scared to wonder if we were compatible and did anything so I wouldn't have to think about it.
Now, I'm just watching this out of interest and I'm glad to say my boyfriend and I have 0/7.
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DarkPrincess666
I'm in this exact situation. Everything fits, but every time I try to break it off for both our own health, my partner says, fine I'm taking off and never seeing you again, or, I'm going to kill myself. We're just not allowed to be free of this. I'm just so tired.
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I'm in this exact situation. Everything fits, but every time I try to break it off for both our own health, my partner says, fine I'm taking off and never seeing you again, or, I'm going to kill myself. We're just not allowed to be free of this. I'm just so tired.
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Asiimdoe
Well, i have a weird realtionship, i dont quite love her, but she is obsessed with me. I cant break up with her because i cant hurt peoples, yet once i did it and felt that it feels kinda empty without her, so we got back again. I still dont know right thing to do.
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Well, i have a weird realtionship, i dont quite love her, but she is obsessed with me. I cant break up with her because i cant hurt peoples, yet once i did it and felt that it feels kinda empty without her, so we got back again. I still dont know right thing to do.
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Gary
All normal thoughts but don't let it be a beast of burden. It ok to have breaks eg one goes back to Montreal to spend some time with family the other goes to work in Yellowknife for 8 months. Obviously with kids not that easy but maybe it is. Sawadee Khap.
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All normal thoughts but don't let it be a beast of burden. It ok to have breaks eg one goes back to Montreal to spend some time with family the other goes to work in Yellowknife for 8 months. Obviously with kids not that easy but maybe it is. Sawadee Khap.
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Sora
i feel like me and my wife are just so comfortable with each other that we don't really want to spend time separated, sure we respect some time for ourselves, but sincerely, we are just growing up together for 7 years and we feel like it's not enough
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i feel like me and my wife are just so comfortable with each other that we don't really want to spend time separated, sure we respect some time for ourselves, but sincerely, we are just growing up together for 7 years and we feel like it's not enough
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Lesley
2. You're too different from each other
A wise person said that male and female are all the difference you need.
Then PC happened, and saying that male and female are different is longer considered PC.
So you have to say it quietly.
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2. You're too different from each other
A wise person said that male and female are all the difference you need.
Then PC happened, and saying that male and female are different is longer considered PC.
So you have to say it quietly.
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YepX
Still in a new relationship and none of these have popped up or with a couple of the items listed even qualify because of personal circumstances - so, I don't know if this new relationship will work out yet - its still fresh.
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Still in a new relationship and none of these have popped up or with a couple of the items listed even qualify because of personal circumstances - so, I don't know if this new relationship will work out yet - its still fresh.
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Isaias
one thing to note is that you don't have to be 100% perfect to find the right person. Rather it's more about working together to progress towards a common goal. While also setting healthy boundaries.
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one thing to note is that you don't have to be 100% perfect to find the right person. Rather it's more about working together to progress towards a common goal. While also setting healthy boundaries.
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Zelpher
what if the thing you have in common is your both introverts so meeting new people is not comfortable so we just have each other so we are socially isolated but i don't think that's bad.
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what if the thing you have in common is your both introverts so meeting new people is not comfortable so we just have each other so we are socially isolated but i don't think that's bad.
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Brad
Most all of these 7 are not compatibility issues. Mostly preferencial differences. Compatibility issues are a line in the sand you will not compromise on with another
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Most all of these 7 are not compatibility issues. Mostly preferencial differences. Compatibility issues are a line in the sand you will not compromise on with another
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