The Dark Side of Introverts
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
The
I have this exact problem. While I try to improve myself and fit in better, I find it hard to keep on going. I always show a more outgoing and friendly face when I'm in a new place because I know that I can't expect to work by myself. But after a few months, it starts to wear me down trying to fit in and pretending to care about things I don't care about. So I start becoming more withdrawn from conversations and meet ups. In the end I just put more and more distance between me and my colleagues until I'm left alone. While I don't mind being alone, its hard when they don't include me in discussions anymore and I either had to end up guessing if any changes had occur or ask them about it. I just feel like they dislike how distant I am being. Then, when I attempt to join the conversation again, it feels as if they're shutting me out and that just cause me to further staying away from them. That causes more problem with my overthinking tendency because I'll always tell myself that no one cares about me or that they're talking about me behind my back. It doesn't help that they will nitpick at every mistake I did which made me feel incompetent and hated by them. All this causes stress and anxiety and I found myself dreading to go to work. Being alone by choice is different than being shunned out and right now, I feel like I'm facing the latter. Maybe I'm just overthinking again. I want to confront them about it but I'm scared that if they actually say things that trigger me, I probably won't be able to handle it with how shitty I'm feeling about myself now. Its hard being an introvert because people always take you wanting to be alone as a sign that you don't want to associate with them anymore. I do understand their point of view but it doesn't matter because they won't understand mine.
reply
I have this exact problem. While I try to improve myself and fit in better, I find it hard to keep on going. I always show a more outgoing and friendly face when I'm in a new place because I know that I can't expect to work by myself. But after a few months, it starts to wear me down trying to fit in and pretending to care about things I don't care about. So I start becoming more withdrawn from conversations and meet ups. In the end I just put more and more distance between me and my colleagues until I'm left alone. While I don't mind being alone, its hard when they don't include me in discussions anymore and I either had to end up guessing if any changes had occur or ask them about it. I just feel like they dislike how distant I am being. Then, when I attempt to join the conversation again, it feels as if they're shutting me out and that just cause me to further staying away from them. That causes more problem with my overthinking tendency because I'll always tell myself that no one cares about me or that they're talking about me behind my back. It doesn't help that they will nitpick at every mistake I did which made me feel incompetent and hated by them. All this causes stress and anxiety and I found myself dreading to go to work. Being alone by choice is different than being shunned out and right now, I feel like I'm facing the latter. Maybe I'm just overthinking again. I want to confront them about it but I'm scared that if they actually say things that trigger me, I probably won't be able to handle it with how shitty I'm feeling about myself now. Its hard being an introvert because people always take you wanting to be alone as a sign that you don't want to associate with them anymore. I do understand their point of view but it doesn't matter because they won't understand mine.
reply
Thunderhawk51
Being an introvert basically born without any dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations or ambition whatsoever has been tough. Also not having much of an identity has also been pretty hard. Yet, I have come in terms with myself and who I am. I check most of those boxes in the video too, but I'm not too hard on myself. Overthinking is my greatest enemy by far, followed by near crippling fear of crowds. Just going shopping can and will drain my mental batteries for a few days. The more I can be alone the better. I can experience loneliness, however, something that I have only recently discovered. But only on small doses and when depressed. Making almost any decision is extremely hard and takes ages. The bigger the decision, the longer it takes. And the fact that I have been like this basically my whole life some plus 30 years. It hurts when people accuse me of something when they literally don't know me at all. That I make excuses, that I lie or I'm lazy or something. They can't imagine what it is like. To have no dreams. No hopes. No ambition. Nothing to strive for. Like I'm dead inside. But that's not true at all. I am a kind person, compassionate, a bit oversensitive at times. I just want to live my own life in peace and not bother anyone. I stopped looking for a cure a long time ago. Instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I started to understand that it's just who I am. I'm not going to fake myself to become something I'm not. I'm not going to force the change for the sake of other people. Become a fake. a complete stranger in the mirror. If a change comes, it comes and I'll gladly accept it. Appreciate it. Try to understand it. I hope you all have a wonderful day!
reply
Being an introvert basically born without any dreams, hopes, wishes, aspirations or ambition whatsoever has been tough. Also not having much of an identity has also been pretty hard. Yet, I have come in terms with myself and who I am. I check most of those boxes in the video too, but I'm not too hard on myself. Overthinking is my greatest enemy by far, followed by near crippling fear of crowds. Just going shopping can and will drain my mental batteries for a few days. The more I can be alone the better. I can experience loneliness, however, something that I have only recently discovered. But only on small doses and when depressed. Making almost any decision is extremely hard and takes ages. The bigger the decision, the longer it takes. And the fact that I have been like this basically my whole life some plus 30 years. It hurts when people accuse me of something when they literally don't know me at all. That I make excuses, that I lie or I'm lazy or something. They can't imagine what it is like. To have no dreams. No hopes. No ambition. Nothing to strive for. Like I'm dead inside. But that's not true at all. I am a kind person, compassionate, a bit oversensitive at times. I just want to live my own life in peace and not bother anyone. I stopped looking for a cure a long time ago. Instead of thinking what's wrong with me, I started to understand that it's just who I am. I'm not going to fake myself to become something I'm not. I'm not going to force the change for the sake of other people. Become a fake. a complete stranger in the mirror. If a change comes, it comes and I'll gladly accept it. Appreciate it. Try to understand it. I hope you all have a wonderful day!
reply
MAKEUP
Everytime I talk people always talk over me or try to correct debate or try to tell me how to feel bout everything Im always misunderstood ppl always in my face and cant seem to catch a hint talking my ears off petty PARTYS hate small talk always wanna crack jokes all the time offensive jokes dumb jokes ppl love giving back in compliments ppl like being in my space 24/7 wen I try to be friendly they want to be around me or talk to me too much ppl love me for the same reason they love me I hate that ppl cant catch a hint if Im in the spot light ppl try to make close to others if Im saying ppl come dancing on me or with me that I dont want by me if someone ask me a question its always somebody there making it about them I cant ever seem to be alone ppl try to bully me but wen I walk away ppl follow me try to touch my air sit on my lap but wen I snap and ready to fight ppl start begging me to stop or making me the problem I hate it here
reply
Everytime I talk people always talk over me or try to correct debate or try to tell me how to feel bout everything Im always misunderstood ppl always in my face and cant seem to catch a hint talking my ears off petty PARTYS hate small talk always wanna crack jokes all the time offensive jokes dumb jokes ppl love giving back in compliments ppl like being in my space 24/7 wen I try to be friendly they want to be around me or talk to me too much ppl love me for the same reason they love me I hate that ppl cant catch a hint if Im in the spot light ppl try to make close to others if Im saying ppl come dancing on me or with me that I dont want by me if someone ask me a question its always somebody there making it about them I cant ever seem to be alone ppl try to bully me but wen I walk away ppl follow me try to touch my air sit on my lap but wen I snap and ready to fight ppl start begging me to stop or making me the problem I hate it here
reply
Himanshu
I really feel that loss of identity stuff pin-pointed. Even when I talk to someone unknown, it feels like I'm becoming someone else to say anything at that time. It's like I'm an actor and what people see is the character I represent. I can be my pure self with too closed ones only. Is there any solution to this? Because after being an adult, I need to interact with more unknown people than in childhood, and behaving this way really drains me out. Sometimes when I overthink about my past interaction with people, I remember this was so not me and sometimes I think this may lead to depersonalisation disorder in future. Please suggest some measures if you have any. Thanks!
reply
I really feel that loss of identity stuff pin-pointed. Even when I talk to someone unknown, it feels like I'm becoming someone else to say anything at that time. It's like I'm an actor and what people see is the character I represent. I can be my pure self with too closed ones only. Is there any solution to this? Because after being an adult, I need to interact with more unknown people than in childhood, and behaving this way really drains me out. Sometimes when I overthink about my past interaction with people, I remember this was so not me and sometimes I think this may lead to depersonalisation disorder in future. Please suggest some measures if you have any. Thanks!
reply
Ferrascarf
hate to be that guy but i feel like white introverts are more capable of gaining friends/connections than black introverts. why? because most white people takes mental health issues serious and most black people dont.
black people are expected to live up to stereotypes of being extroverted, loud, entertaining, confident, and loves to socialize but when you go against those stereotypes youre looked at as creepy, mean, abnormal, and sub human so people tend to dissociate with you instead of giving you a chance.
im not debating anyone, you can disagree but this is what ive noticed in different environments and online spaces for many years so its true to me.
reply
hate to be that guy but i feel like white introverts are more capable of gaining friends/connections than black introverts. why? because most white people takes mental health issues serious and most black people dont.
black people are expected to live up to stereotypes of being extroverted, loud, entertaining, confident, and loves to socialize but when you go against those stereotypes youre looked at as creepy, mean, abnormal, and sub human so people tend to dissociate with you instead of giving you a chance.
im not debating anyone, you can disagree but this is what ive noticed in different environments and online spaces for many years so its true to me.
reply
Akularz-Sht
The following bit about teamwork had me laughing out loud: It can produce greater results if the teammates are compatible and communicate in a healthy way.
This only happens in the rarest of cases, if ever. Welcome to the real world of work, where teamwork in most cases is a drag and there will always people that take advantage of the team, leaving those that actually want to get the work done, with more work. Oh, and let's not forget the arguers and naysayers.
So, yes, I believe, 90% of the time I CAN do better when I'm working alone. ;)
reply
The following bit about teamwork had me laughing out loud: It can produce greater results if the teammates are compatible and communicate in a healthy way.
This only happens in the rarest of cases, if ever. Welcome to the real world of work, where teamwork in most cases is a drag and there will always people that take advantage of the team, leaving those that actually want to get the work done, with more work. Oh, and let's not forget the arguers and naysayers.
So, yes, I believe, 90% of the time I CAN do better when I'm working alone. ;)
reply
Mt
I am so choked, because I really do not consider myself as an introvert. I tend to consider myself as a person who has a lot of troubles to socialise.
But every time that I am watching one of your videos about introverts, it really describes me from the beginning to the end.
It is, at the same time, really scary to be described so precisely, it feels like someone has break into your mind without your permission, but it feels also good to be understood. It really does.
Thank you
reply
I am so choked, because I really do not consider myself as an introvert. I tend to consider myself as a person who has a lot of troubles to socialise.
But every time that I am watching one of your videos about introverts, it really describes me from the beginning to the end.
It is, at the same time, really scary to be described so precisely, it feels like someone has break into your mind without your permission, but it feels also good to be understood. It really does.
Thank you
reply
GENX'd
Im INFJ and I really dont like the bland steps you are saying introverts should do to overcome These traits that you call bad some of these traits only seam bad because the video has been written from the lense of an extrovert. This is a really bad video not good advice for introverts I get the point about serious negative and harmful things that can be a path from introversion, but your basically saying we should not have certain traits that make us who we are.
reply
Im INFJ and I really dont like the bland steps you are saying introverts should do to overcome These traits that you call bad some of these traits only seam bad because the video has been written from the lense of an extrovert. This is a really bad video not good advice for introverts I get the point about serious negative and harmful things that can be a path from introversion, but your basically saying we should not have certain traits that make us who we are.
reply
Debunked
I relate to every single aspect mentioned in the video.
In truth this is exactly how I am. The biggest problem I have is the inability to voice out exactly what I'm going through instead I tend to mix up words, say unintentional things and just mess up the whole conversation. It feels kind of like there's a voice inside of me that's screaming for help, but it gets chocked up right in the middle of my throat.
My throat even hurts sometimes due to this.
reply
I relate to every single aspect mentioned in the video.
In truth this is exactly how I am. The biggest problem I have is the inability to voice out exactly what I'm going through instead I tend to mix up words, say unintentional things and just mess up the whole conversation. It feels kind of like there's a voice inside of me that's screaming for help, but it gets chocked up right in the middle of my throat.
My throat even hurts sometimes due to this.
reply
OverLord
Here the some ideas about could add on the video on overcoming emotions trauma.
First brief definition of words and explain that there people having problems showings their emotions and brief show how person change when they once was and current (like different person)
Some suggestions would adds the video
- Have someone to talk about
- Workout
- Join Activities
- Make Friend
- Create mini goal and tasks
-Self accepted
reply
Here the some ideas about could add on the video on overcoming emotions trauma.
First brief definition of words and explain that there people having problems showings their emotions and brief show how person change when they once was and current (like different person)
Some suggestions would adds the video
- Have someone to talk about
- Workout
- Join Activities
- Make Friend
- Create mini goal and tasks
-Self accepted
reply
David
Guilty on all counts EXCEPT the loss of identity. I think that's for two reasons, 1) I rarely allow myself to become emotionally invested in another person for that long (that's where the ghosting trait comes into play) and 2) I'm too strongly opinionated to adopt anybody else's personality. In my mid 50's now and I've bounced from one period of major depressive episode to another ever since my teens. Sooooo. yeah, being an introvert can really suck.
reply
Guilty on all counts EXCEPT the loss of identity. I think that's for two reasons, 1) I rarely allow myself to become emotionally invested in another person for that long (that's where the ghosting trait comes into play) and 2) I'm too strongly opinionated to adopt anybody else's personality. In my mid 50's now and I've bounced from one period of major depressive episode to another ever since my teens. Sooooo. yeah, being an introvert can really suck.
reply
fauzia
Hello everyone. I know we don't know eachother but i really need help; i recently lost my only best friend who was my mom and life without her is hellish. I really feel bad and i can't even concentrate at school yet this is my final year. And my relatives don't really care so it feels lonelier. If anyone can help me maybe take me somewhere faraway where i can change my life please help
reply
Hello everyone. I know we don't know eachother but i really need help; i recently lost my only best friend who was my mom and life without her is hellish. I really feel bad and i can't even concentrate at school yet this is my final year. And my relatives don't really care so it feels lonelier. If anyone can help me maybe take me somewhere faraway where i can change my life please help
reply
Christine
I have always had a problem underestimating myself. I worked with a therapist and we came up with a physical intervention. I would grab my wrist, say my name and Stop! Then refocus on all I have already overcome or achieved. It worked! I am not as hard on myself, can recognize when I am being hard on myself, and stop it without the gesture, but imo starting with the gesture was key.
reply
I have always had a problem underestimating myself. I worked with a therapist and we came up with a physical intervention. I would grab my wrist, say my name and Stop! Then refocus on all I have already overcome or achieved. It worked! I am not as hard on myself, can recognize when I am being hard on myself, and stop it without the gesture, but imo starting with the gesture was key.
reply
Anthony
INFJ here and I can confirm that I check out on all aspects except bad attitude towards work. Among all of them, I am especially most likely to ghost, overthink and self-depreciate. Being alone is both a curse and a blessing for me, so I tend to reach out once in a while and when I am in solitude, I make it a point to not to delve to deep in my negative thoughts.
reply
INFJ here and I can confirm that I check out on all aspects except bad attitude towards work. Among all of them, I am especially most likely to ghost, overthink and self-depreciate. Being alone is both a curse and a blessing for me, so I tend to reach out once in a while and when I am in solitude, I make it a point to not to delve to deep in my negative thoughts.
reply
VaronPlateando
as a tendentially more 'intro' rational iintellectual gent, I'd consider intro extro 'gaps' (if alike at all) between ppl. being diverse herein just close to immaterial compared to the abyss towards evo. psych nature of xx. s, to just note here. I won't delve deeper here, as there's enough++ content in media incl. yt to inform selves, relatedly.
reply
as a tendentially more 'intro' rational iintellectual gent, I'd consider intro extro 'gaps' (if alike at all) between ppl. being diverse herein just close to immaterial compared to the abyss towards evo. psych nature of xx. s, to just note here. I won't delve deeper here, as there's enough++ content in media incl. yt to inform selves, relatedly.
reply
Eric
This really resonated with my wife and I, Matt. In fact, she shouted preach it! because she felt you very succinctly described her type of introvert personality to a tee.
I think I'm an extroverted introvert perhaps. I love having deep meaningful conversations on road trips with her, but she prefers 90% silence.
Keep up the great work!
reply
This really resonated with my wife and I, Matt. In fact, she shouted preach it! because she felt you very succinctly described her type of introvert personality to a tee.
I think I'm an extroverted introvert perhaps. I love having deep meaningful conversations on road trips with her, but she prefers 90% silence.
Keep up the great work!
reply
bb
You may have heard all the admirable traits introverts are described as XD I won't say my experience is same for everyone but no that was very much not a thing for the longest time. If anything its more having to tell other people you are normal or not weird just because don't behave as they think you should.
reply
You may have heard all the admirable traits introverts are described as XD I won't say my experience is same for everyone but no that was very much not a thing for the longest time. If anything its more having to tell other people you are normal or not weird just because don't behave as they think you should.
reply
OverLord
Hello, are you working the overcome emotions trauma with image of Mob from Mob Psycho 100?
I may overboard on ideas to talk for your video.
My thoughts from Mob Psycho 100 final does given positive messages for one overcoming his past trauma and good for Mob characters arcs.
reply
Hello, are you working the overcome emotions trauma with image of Mob from Mob Psycho 100?
I may overboard on ideas to talk for your video.
My thoughts from Mob Psycho 100 final does given positive messages for one overcoming his past trauma and good for Mob characters arcs.
reply
VELOCITOR
Me: I'm an introvert, but I won't have these negative traits.
YT: You hate teamwork
Me: Doesn't everyone?
YT: Overthinking
Me: That's a bad thing?
YT: Pessimism
Me: Wait, that's just introverts?
YT: Cutting off contact
Me: I plead the 5th.
reply
Me: I'm an introvert, but I won't have these negative traits.
YT: You hate teamwork
Me: Doesn't everyone?
YT: Overthinking
Me: That's a bad thing?
YT: Pessimism
Me: Wait, that's just introverts?
YT: Cutting off contact
Me: I plead the 5th.
reply
Leira
Am I surprised! Although guilty of a few of these traits, I have yet to meet someone quite as optimistic as myself. Optimism gets more things done (coz you don't give up before even starting) so I would've assumed people who think more would tend toward that.
reply
Am I surprised! Although guilty of a few of these traits, I have yet to meet someone quite as optimistic as myself. Optimism gets more things done (coz you don't give up before even starting) so I would've assumed people who think more would tend toward that.
reply
Arahantius
Fairly accurate but I did have to laugh at the teamwork part. Teams can be powerful if all the team members are compatible, and when exactly is an introvert compatible with a group of people? Love the video but definitely hilarious.
reply
Fairly accurate but I did have to laugh at the teamwork part. Teams can be powerful if all the team members are compatible, and when exactly is an introvert compatible with a group of people? Love the video but definitely hilarious.
reply
Low
When anyone starts to take the leadership role Ill argue with them the rest of the way now. Ive been steam rolled enough. I know that hard workers get the shaft. Ive adopted countermeasures to mitigate that.
reply
When anyone starts to take the leadership role Ill argue with them the rest of the way now. Ive been steam rolled enough. I know that hard workers get the shaft. Ive adopted countermeasures to mitigate that.
reply
Tyler
Iv been listening to ur videos so much lately and it think Im seeing things in ppl and myself since iv started to listen to them on a regular and some of ur videos make me wanna cry, no idea why.
reply
Iv been listening to ur videos so much lately and it think Im seeing things in ppl and myself since iv started to listen to them on a regular and some of ur videos make me wanna cry, no idea why.
reply
Robert
I am actually not an introvert. I say that I am a sanguine who has bled too much too often. And it is hard to not be introverted when nobody has wanted ne around for nost of ny existence
reply
I am actually not an introvert. I say that I am a sanguine who has bled too much too often. And it is hard to not be introverted when nobody has wanted ne around for nost of ny existence
reply
James
Cant remember the last time i criedreally criednow, every time the tears start to come, my eyes will mist for a second then its overlike even my emotions are too tired to express
reply
Cant remember the last time i criedreally criednow, every time the tears start to come, my eyes will mist for a second then its overlike even my emotions are too tired to express
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
