7 Signs Youre Not A Bad Person, Its Your Trauma
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
WALT
I was 5 or 6 yrsold when I experience it continued for almost 11years that I can't even remember if I had a happy childhood memories. Day by day I slowly distant myself from my family because one of my fam member is one of my abusers, the people whom my family trusted is the people who abused me. I can't tell anyone, I can't trust anyone. I believe to the words of love my fam keep saying to me but I feel like it's pulling me down to the point that them saying they loved me, making me nauseous. Now I'm 20 years old. 2014 when my mom was admitted to the nearest hospital, for 5 years I was the one who was taking care of her. 2018 she congratulated me winning the 1st place in my first singing competition, not in school events but a competition and me representing our capital. She was so happy, and started to cry saying she was sorry for not believing me when I first talked to her about what is happening to me and who did me wrong, she cannot believed me because it could cause chaos to our family she says. 2019 she still keep saying she was sorry but I always says that its ok, and I love her I say. She died while in my arms, like she was sleeping, so peacefully like nothing happened. That it hunts me every night same with my childhood trauma. I always hear laughing and the voices of my abusers was so clear that it almost as if they're here. I don't know what to do so I tried to overdose myself but God is teasing me. I blame him for letting my biological mother give birth to me, and I blame my legit mom for abandoning me, and recently blaming myself for being born. I just want to end my life but God is so unfair not letting me have my alone time. I tried to seek help but I was the one who cut them off thinking that these people would just blame me for not telling anyone early on when I was still a child so that evidence is still there.
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I was 5 or 6 yrsold when I experience it continued for almost 11years that I can't even remember if I had a happy childhood memories. Day by day I slowly distant myself from my family because one of my fam member is one of my abusers, the people whom my family trusted is the people who abused me. I can't tell anyone, I can't trust anyone. I believe to the words of love my fam keep saying to me but I feel like it's pulling me down to the point that them saying they loved me, making me nauseous. Now I'm 20 years old. 2014 when my mom was admitted to the nearest hospital, for 5 years I was the one who was taking care of her. 2018 she congratulated me winning the 1st place in my first singing competition, not in school events but a competition and me representing our capital. She was so happy, and started to cry saying she was sorry for not believing me when I first talked to her about what is happening to me and who did me wrong, she cannot believed me because it could cause chaos to our family she says. 2019 she still keep saying she was sorry but I always says that its ok, and I love her I say. She died while in my arms, like she was sleeping, so peacefully like nothing happened. That it hunts me every night same with my childhood trauma. I always hear laughing and the voices of my abusers was so clear that it almost as if they're here. I don't know what to do so I tried to overdose myself but God is teasing me. I blame him for letting my biological mother give birth to me, and I blame my legit mom for abandoning me, and recently blaming myself for being born. I just want to end my life but God is so unfair not letting me have my alone time. I tried to seek help but I was the one who cut them off thinking that these people would just blame me for not telling anyone early on when I was still a child so that evidence is still there.
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kazua
Why are 3, 4, 6, 7 so specific my trauma started sense very little at first i didnt knew about it until around a year ago I told my doctor how I felt fear every single time I saw my mother on the eyes I always cry when I look her in the eyes no matter what she says to me she could be complimenting me but her eyes always struck fear on me it started when my mom would beat my older sister when she got mad at her and even at me my sister would take the hits from my mom for me because I was so young at the time i wasnt able to do anything all though my mom changed she got sent to a phycologist for 6 months to see if it would help and in contrast it did help she never hit me or my sister ever again but what she didnt knew was that all though my sister forgive her I was so little that I still have memories of how she would break brooms on my sister hit her with usb cables or anything she could find in the house even though she didnt do it to me I felt fear for it we where taken away by our grandparents until she could go around us again but I still remember everything
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Why are 3, 4, 6, 7 so specific my trauma started sense very little at first i didnt knew about it until around a year ago I told my doctor how I felt fear every single time I saw my mother on the eyes I always cry when I look her in the eyes no matter what she says to me she could be complimenting me but her eyes always struck fear on me it started when my mom would beat my older sister when she got mad at her and even at me my sister would take the hits from my mom for me because I was so young at the time i wasnt able to do anything all though my mom changed she got sent to a phycologist for 6 months to see if it would help and in contrast it did help she never hit me or my sister ever again but what she didnt knew was that all though my sister forgive her I was so little that I still have memories of how she would break brooms on my sister hit her with usb cables or anything she could find in the house even though she didnt do it to me I felt fear for it we where taken away by our grandparents until she could go around us again but I still remember everything
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Jonatas
Well.
Here I was, sitting with my wife, and this video started playing. Can't remember if I clicked on it. Turns out that 4 years ago I had a stroke (at 27 yo) and had to learn to walk again, many weeks on the wheel chair, then crutches, then learn to write with the left hand, then return to work. It was a long journey and people always said I was doing great, with bravery and all. Isn't likeability a damn jail. Deep down I was getting bitter. Mood swings, irritability. Then I started drifting away from family. Bit by bit I pushed everyone out. Long story short, I started laughing AND crying like a child watching this storming video simply describe the last 3 years of my life. Couldn't even finish it. I don't even know if I should thank you guys or complain. Much love from Brasil!
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Well.
Here I was, sitting with my wife, and this video started playing. Can't remember if I clicked on it. Turns out that 4 years ago I had a stroke (at 27 yo) and had to learn to walk again, many weeks on the wheel chair, then crutches, then learn to write with the left hand, then return to work. It was a long journey and people always said I was doing great, with bravery and all. Isn't likeability a damn jail. Deep down I was getting bitter. Mood swings, irritability. Then I started drifting away from family. Bit by bit I pushed everyone out. Long story short, I started laughing AND crying like a child watching this storming video simply describe the last 3 years of my life. Couldn't even finish it. I don't even know if I should thank you guys or complain. Much love from Brasil!
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maximum
I was around six and in the hospital after having surgery from appendicitis and when I woke up I asked a nurse where are my parents they said to wait a little while as they tried calling my parents and after half an hour they came back but my parents weren't there and the nurse said they never picked up later I realised they abandoned me I was heart broken and didn't talk for the rest of the day and I shut myself off for months then I was adopted and living happily with a new one I'm still going to therapy but it's getting easier to open up
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I was around six and in the hospital after having surgery from appendicitis and when I woke up I asked a nurse where are my parents they said to wait a little while as they tried calling my parents and after half an hour they came back but my parents weren't there and the nurse said they never picked up later I realised they abandoned me I was heart broken and didn't talk for the rest of the day and I shut myself off for months then I was adopted and living happily with a new one I'm still going to therapy but it's getting easier to open up
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Tris
All of this was just like a knife to the back because I struggle with all of this and constantly keep sabotaging my relationships. For the longest time I didn't know what was going on nor was aware of my self sabotaging till a few years ago. My family has told me time and time again that I'm a bad person because I hold on to grudges but don't understand that internally I don't want to hold that grudge & I used to mentally tear myself down for struggling to move on and forgive
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All of this was just like a knife to the back because I struggle with all of this and constantly keep sabotaging my relationships. For the longest time I didn't know what was going on nor was aware of my self sabotaging till a few years ago. My family has told me time and time again that I'm a bad person because I hold on to grudges but don't understand that internally I don't want to hold that grudge & I used to mentally tear myself down for struggling to move on and forgive
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Solitario947
Rather not blame something like that as to why Im a bad person. I think people should just accept who they are and change that. Theres nothing to blame but you cause the entire world is only the way it is cause thats how you interpret it. So try to change that even if it feels like youre lying to yourself. Eventually youll change perspective to what you say cause you can make yourself think anything and change everything about urself. Idk
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Rather not blame something like that as to why Im a bad person. I think people should just accept who they are and change that. Theres nothing to blame but you cause the entire world is only the way it is cause thats how you interpret it. So try to change that even if it feels like youre lying to yourself. Eventually youll change perspective to what you say cause you can make yourself think anything and change everything about urself. Idk
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Loveali_3
I don't really know if I have trauma but I am for some reason really scared waking people up even though I don't remember something about like getting in trouble for waking someone up and with people I don't live with I flinch kinda like even if I they are moving their hand towards me it probably nothing since I don't remember being hit as a kid and although my dad has anger issues only remember him only yelling
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I don't really know if I have trauma but I am for some reason really scared waking people up even though I don't remember something about like getting in trouble for waking someone up and with people I don't live with I flinch kinda like even if I they are moving their hand towards me it probably nothing since I don't remember being hit as a kid and although my dad has anger issues only remember him only yelling
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AlphaGamer56
Nobody in this world is a bad person, we all have good days and rubbish days, but its just life! Don't listen to anyone who says bad things about you because in reality they are the bad person. All of you shine no matter what and you are all amazing people, Big or small. I want to thank each and everyone of you make the whole world a better place!
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Nobody in this world is a bad person, we all have good days and rubbish days, but its just life! Don't listen to anyone who says bad things about you because in reality they are the bad person. All of you shine no matter what and you are all amazing people, Big or small. I want to thank each and everyone of you make the whole world a better place!
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Kenneth
I know I'm a bad person my mom never wanted me and dad well he wanted the title of dad he pawned me to my cousin's so yeah I'd like to say I was a mistake im 27 and have learned that love and happiness is only for rich people my ex broke my will try date anymore so thx to her there's one less person women don't have to deal with
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I know I'm a bad person my mom never wanted me and dad well he wanted the title of dad he pawned me to my cousin's so yeah I'd like to say I was a mistake im 27 and have learned that love and happiness is only for rich people my ex broke my will try date anymore so thx to her there's one less person women don't have to deal with
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Yussidah
I got raped a year ago and still dealing with this kind of trauma. I became someone that doesn't really me. Emotionally cold and distant. Having hard time to trust people. And still struggling to get a proper job (been fired multiple times. I hope everything will be so much better for me
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I got raped a year ago and still dealing with this kind of trauma. I became someone that doesn't really me. Emotionally cold and distant. Having hard time to trust people. And still struggling to get a proper job (been fired multiple times. I hope everything will be so much better for me
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Asma
I always wanted to see who is behind this voice and today while watching this video, I thought about the same and was surprised to see you at the end of the video. It's like a wish come true in just a few seconds. I like your videos, they are very informative. Keep up the good work
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I always wanted to see who is behind this voice and today while watching this video, I thought about the same and was surprised to see you at the end of the video. It's like a wish come true in just a few seconds. I like your videos, they are very informative. Keep up the good work
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Armond
i pressed this jokingly cause i was confident i really am just an asshole and i already accepted the fact but damn, i didnt think it would be somewhat true, i didnt even know i have trauma, i do get startled easily specially by noises loud or not but i thought thats just normal
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i pressed this jokingly cause i was confident i really am just an asshole and i already accepted the fact but damn, i didnt think it would be somewhat true, i didnt even know i have trauma, i do get startled easily specially by noises loud or not but i thought thats just normal
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grimm
i avoid profesional help due to the fact that I always find myself just wanting to repeatedly hurt them. cause I can not deal with their constant poking. I don't appreciate them trying to dig into my past. so I have my video games to help me control my aggression
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i avoid profesional help due to the fact that I always find myself just wanting to repeatedly hurt them. cause I can not deal with their constant poking. I don't appreciate them trying to dig into my past. so I have my video games to help me control my aggression
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UrL0calTeenager
I feel so bad Im such a horrible person. Ive had like four online friends and they all of them to me because of my attitude and all of that and the way I treat people and its getting annoying and I dont know how to fix myself I just wanna end it.
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I feel so bad Im such a horrible person. Ive had like four online friends and they all of them to me because of my attitude and all of that and the way I treat people and its getting annoying and I dont know how to fix myself I just wanna end it.
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Izaiah
I actually do have a question though is it normal to be able to just get rid of your emotions like sadness and other emotions by just forgetting the reason your sad or angry not biting the emotions down but instead just forgetting them on purpose
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I actually do have a question though is it normal to be able to just get rid of your emotions like sadness and other emotions by just forgetting the reason your sad or angry not biting the emotions down but instead just forgetting them on purpose
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kira_idk
I dont know if i have social anxiety but i dont like crowded places because i feel like everyone is straing at me and laughibg at me and it always happens so i would distant myself from everyone. Can anyone tell help me with it?
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I dont know if i have social anxiety but i dont like crowded places because i feel like everyone is straing at me and laughibg at me and it always happens so i would distant myself from everyone. Can anyone tell help me with it?
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Sadman
I definitely have all of them, one that I want to highlight is the repression of my emotions and feeling distant, Lately I haven't felt sadness, happiness or anxiety, I just feel frustration, boredom and bitterness
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I definitely have all of them, one that I want to highlight is the repression of my emotions and feeling distant, Lately I haven't felt sadness, happiness or anxiety, I just feel frustration, boredom and bitterness
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Warren
I have sign number 1, 3, 5, 6, and 7. Have been going through domestic violence, including physical abuse, caused by my toxic family of origin since childhood. I am still in the process of recovering from them.
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I have sign number 1, 3, 5, 6, and 7. Have been going through domestic violence, including physical abuse, caused by my toxic family of origin since childhood. I am still in the process of recovering from them.
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ALMIGHTYSCARACAT
but what happens when you have all these signs ( including using sh to cope ) but your parents are partly the reason why ( I'm 13 and live w my parents ) and they've had enough of my shit. then what?
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but what happens when you have all these signs ( including using sh to cope ) but your parents are partly the reason why ( I'm 13 and live w my parents ) and they've had enough of my shit. then what?
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education
I have all of the things mentioned here but I have no point in my life where something big has happened and when I tell my mom she says its normal. so I don't know what to do.
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I have all of the things mentioned here but I have no point in my life where something big has happened and when I tell my mom she says its normal. so I don't know what to do.
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education
I went to a highly abusive military school that was recently shut down, and I reacted in the exact opposite way of all but the first 2. This seems more geared towards dating
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I went to a highly abusive military school that was recently shut down, and I reacted in the exact opposite way of all but the first 2. This seems more geared towards dating
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DNDM
istg I have experienced most of these and it scares me because i was doing this before i had some trauma ive had trauma responses before I have trauma i can remember
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istg I have experienced most of these and it scares me because i was doing this before i had some trauma ive had trauma responses before I have trauma i can remember
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Haunting
Psych2Go you have helped see all my problems and i have all these sings of trauma that i never knew it was trauma thank you for helping me a broken 16 year old
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Psych2Go you have helped see all my problems and i have all these sings of trauma that i never knew it was trauma thank you for helping me a broken 16 year old
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Izaiah
Ya I learned there are worse coping mechanisms than mine I just lock myself in my room and read or throw knives until my saddest is replaced with curiousity
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Ya I learned there are worse coping mechanisms than mine I just lock myself in my room and read or throw knives until my saddest is replaced with curiousity
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Lex
i tend to struggle with panic attacks or panic days in which i am easily irritable and have lots of panic attacks. those days are usually after flashbacks.
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i tend to struggle with panic attacks or panic days in which i am easily irritable and have lots of panic attacks. those days are usually after flashbacks.
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