4 Types of Narcissists You'll Encounter in Life
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
killerdragon558
CW: Depth. You have been warned!
I have had an ex-best-friend who strongly likely maybe an obsessive-compulsive covert narcissist. Deets will be listed in red-flags-list below.
There have been several red flags that I remember:
1. He wants the best for me, but doesn't realize that I too want the best for myself. Seems that he prioritizes what he wants for me than what I want for myself.
2. He obsesses over fictional characters and tries to rewrite them in his own way without respecting another's possessive borders. Whining and moaning about the darker, falling, more dramatic proportions of a story, and always wanting perfection while in denial of the fact that he wants people's characters and stories to be perfect.
3. One fight we had, I exploded over pressure, fell to a defeatist depression. Instead of saying Wait, I'm sorry! Don't feel that way. he started needlessly defending himself, angrily all-capsing. Called me a child through and through, one who's too close to the Yin and losing his s--t, which I now take as a compliment as I move on. In short, he gaslighted me. But now that I look back, it did hurt for the mean time, but now I take his gaslighting as a compliment to move forward away from him.
4. When he came back to a Discord server we shared, instead of writing a true apology that in short would say What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. If there's something I can do to make up for it, I'll do it. he wrote a wrong, hollow apology, explaining and justifying why he was so angrily obsessed over other people's fictional characters. I get that he was trying to express himself, but only poorly did so, and I'll give him points for trying, but all in all, it wasn't enough to win my respect. After that, he exploded, again, beating himself up. Leaving and then coming back again, he was still obsessed. Days after that, he started love-bombing me with more hollow apologies. Eventually, I snapped, and started to express my irritiation, then he replied Geez sorry monotonously so. I pointed out the lack of sincerity in his apology, but he got defensive. And I had to call it out to another mod to correct him.
5. When I vented, he tried to help me, but failed to do so as he was lacking in emotional empathy. While he had a cognitive empathy and explained what could happen to me, he lacked actual, genuine, emotional support, and attempted to help with tough love. I didn't respond, such tough love wasn't worth listening to
6. One of the last apologies he wrote was called the truth and speaking of, he brands everything he says as the truth. Not to mention that he colored the whole freakin' docs file's text in gold. Really narcissistic, grandiose-filled way of writing a letter, innit?
7. He prides himself in cynicism, sternness, hard-heartedness, and stubbornness, all while calling himself a guardian. These are things generally viewed as negative traits, nothing to be proud of. As I pointed this out from another point of view disregarding my own personal opinion, he accuses me of being so opinionated and says that it's my point of view anyway. So I just told him to leave me alone and just go if he wants to live that way, then finished, if he needs something from me, he knows where to find me.
8. He came back some days ago just to spread rumors about me, accusing me of gaslighting him when all I did was tell him to leave me alone, and avoided him (and the server) for as long as I could in the hopes of achieving a happier life.
reply
CW: Depth. You have been warned!
I have had an ex-best-friend who strongly likely maybe an obsessive-compulsive covert narcissist. Deets will be listed in red-flags-list below.
There have been several red flags that I remember:
1. He wants the best for me, but doesn't realize that I too want the best for myself. Seems that he prioritizes what he wants for me than what I want for myself.
2. He obsesses over fictional characters and tries to rewrite them in his own way without respecting another's possessive borders. Whining and moaning about the darker, falling, more dramatic proportions of a story, and always wanting perfection while in denial of the fact that he wants people's characters and stories to be perfect.
3. One fight we had, I exploded over pressure, fell to a defeatist depression. Instead of saying Wait, I'm sorry! Don't feel that way. he started needlessly defending himself, angrily all-capsing. Called me a child through and through, one who's too close to the Yin and losing his s--t, which I now take as a compliment as I move on. In short, he gaslighted me. But now that I look back, it did hurt for the mean time, but now I take his gaslighting as a compliment to move forward away from him.
4. When he came back to a Discord server we shared, instead of writing a true apology that in short would say What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. If there's something I can do to make up for it, I'll do it. he wrote a wrong, hollow apology, explaining and justifying why he was so angrily obsessed over other people's fictional characters. I get that he was trying to express himself, but only poorly did so, and I'll give him points for trying, but all in all, it wasn't enough to win my respect. After that, he exploded, again, beating himself up. Leaving and then coming back again, he was still obsessed. Days after that, he started love-bombing me with more hollow apologies. Eventually, I snapped, and started to express my irritiation, then he replied Geez sorry monotonously so. I pointed out the lack of sincerity in his apology, but he got defensive. And I had to call it out to another mod to correct him.
5. When I vented, he tried to help me, but failed to do so as he was lacking in emotional empathy. While he had a cognitive empathy and explained what could happen to me, he lacked actual, genuine, emotional support, and attempted to help with tough love. I didn't respond, such tough love wasn't worth listening to
6. One of the last apologies he wrote was called the truth and speaking of, he brands everything he says as the truth. Not to mention that he colored the whole freakin' docs file's text in gold. Really narcissistic, grandiose-filled way of writing a letter, innit?
7. He prides himself in cynicism, sternness, hard-heartedness, and stubbornness, all while calling himself a guardian. These are things generally viewed as negative traits, nothing to be proud of. As I pointed this out from another point of view disregarding my own personal opinion, he accuses me of being so opinionated and says that it's my point of view anyway. So I just told him to leave me alone and just go if he wants to live that way, then finished, if he needs something from me, he knows where to find me.
8. He came back some days ago just to spread rumors about me, accusing me of gaslighting him when all I did was tell him to leave me alone, and avoided him (and the server) for as long as I could in the hopes of achieving a happier life.
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Valerie
Amazingly helpful information. Thank you so much for making this video. I've known about narcissism for years, but couldn't figure out how to explain to anyone how one differed from another and not get questioned on my reason for characterizing both or multiple people in the Narcissist category. This video has not only allowed me to explain the differences, thus being able to inform others of the different types, but it also justifies and validates my ability to call it when I see it. I don't know if that last part made sense, but I hope someone understands what I mean Thank you again for this video and all the other videos that you post for aid in all sorts of areas of life and helping people understand or get some information on things they didn't know or fully understand about themselves or others. I love your videos and have a playlist dedicated to just your videos so I can go back and watch the ones that I really liked or thought were super informative I also have shared these videos with friends, family and my therapist (who is more of a friend than a therapist, but I met her through her services before establishing a friendship)
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Amazingly helpful information. Thank you so much for making this video. I've known about narcissism for years, but couldn't figure out how to explain to anyone how one differed from another and not get questioned on my reason for characterizing both or multiple people in the Narcissist category. This video has not only allowed me to explain the differences, thus being able to inform others of the different types, but it also justifies and validates my ability to call it when I see it. I don't know if that last part made sense, but I hope someone understands what I mean Thank you again for this video and all the other videos that you post for aid in all sorts of areas of life and helping people understand or get some information on things they didn't know or fully understand about themselves or others. I love your videos and have a playlist dedicated to just your videos so I can go back and watch the ones that I really liked or thought were super informative I also have shared these videos with friends, family and my therapist (who is more of a friend than a therapist, but I met her through her services before establishing a friendship)
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Dummigame
My father is probably the most stereotypical grandiose narcissist you could ever find.
Authoritarian parenting style, one main life goal impossible for him to achieve, seeked power in the family, tried to become the boss of the house. He easily gets aggressive, tries to deflect criticism by shrugging/laughing it off, and definitely just views me as him Nr. 2.
But the thing is, I don't like him. At all. And when I tell him just how terrible of a person they are or how much they failed in life already, I know he can't just shrug it off.
He tries to act like it doesn't phase him, but. he's bad at acting.
There's multiple times where I directly told him problems he has, that he's not a good person, and didn't achieve their goals in life.
In fact, you could say I hate him, and I'd have nothing wrong with that.
If he stayed he might've ruined the psychie for my bigger sister and me.
Both her and me are happy he's gone, she's happy that she won't have to ever see him again, and I'm happy every time I get the chance to not interact with him.
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My father is probably the most stereotypical grandiose narcissist you could ever find.
Authoritarian parenting style, one main life goal impossible for him to achieve, seeked power in the family, tried to become the boss of the house. He easily gets aggressive, tries to deflect criticism by shrugging/laughing it off, and definitely just views me as him Nr. 2.
But the thing is, I don't like him. At all. And when I tell him just how terrible of a person they are or how much they failed in life already, I know he can't just shrug it off.
He tries to act like it doesn't phase him, but. he's bad at acting.
There's multiple times where I directly told him problems he has, that he's not a good person, and didn't achieve their goals in life.
In fact, you could say I hate him, and I'd have nothing wrong with that.
If he stayed he might've ruined the psychie for my bigger sister and me.
Both her and me are happy he's gone, she's happy that she won't have to ever see him again, and I'm happy every time I get the chance to not interact with him.
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Selma
I just have one question, what narcissist would even believe they have something wrong with them and seek help? They never would to not come off vulnerable or crazy to the public, to uphold the best public representation of themselves. If someone even tells them that they are narcissistic, even by a professional, the narcissists rage will come out like a sore demon. My dad was diagnosed with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and my mom is, well, in the psychopathic rage of narcissismand it is a very real sadistic, superficial, and demonizing character. I still live with them, and hoping to runaway to pursue my career, because my mom isnt letting me go off to college or allowing me to create personal relationships to always stay in control, because she always worries Youll talk about me. So, my point is, they will never admit something is wrong with them, and will in fact, victimize themselves any chance they get.
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I just have one question, what narcissist would even believe they have something wrong with them and seek help? They never would to not come off vulnerable or crazy to the public, to uphold the best public representation of themselves. If someone even tells them that they are narcissistic, even by a professional, the narcissists rage will come out like a sore demon. My dad was diagnosed with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and my mom is, well, in the psychopathic rage of narcissismand it is a very real sadistic, superficial, and demonizing character. I still live with them, and hoping to runaway to pursue my career, because my mom isnt letting me go off to college or allowing me to create personal relationships to always stay in control, because she always worries Youll talk about me. So, my point is, they will never admit something is wrong with them, and will in fact, victimize themselves any chance they get.
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Miss
I used to do that. I couldnt take criticism, I had this huge self loathing image of myself and I did not want myself to be the blame of it. It was my mom/dad/sister/friend/etc fault but never mine. I ended up absorbing from someone who was doing the same time. Only after time of self reflection and proper help could I change that. There was a lot of collateral damage and I lost friends along the way whom I wish I could bring back into my life. I pushed them away with how toxic I was. I am glad I am growing because even now, Im far from where I want to be. I am proud of my progress, but there are times where that feeling is so uncomfortable. I promised myself that Ill get there someday.
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I used to do that. I couldnt take criticism, I had this huge self loathing image of myself and I did not want myself to be the blame of it. It was my mom/dad/sister/friend/etc fault but never mine. I ended up absorbing from someone who was doing the same time. Only after time of self reflection and proper help could I change that. There was a lot of collateral damage and I lost friends along the way whom I wish I could bring back into my life. I pushed them away with how toxic I was. I am glad I am growing because even now, Im far from where I want to be. I am proud of my progress, but there are times where that feeling is so uncomfortable. I promised myself that Ill get there someday.
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Maria
The most important part for a narcissist - no matter what type - is to realize they are in fact a narcissist, get professional help and accept that help. Only then can they grow to become their better self.
So, shout-out to everyone who takes/have taken this steps to get better. You rock! Use this chance to make yourself and the people around you happier.
And to those who have been hurt by the action caused by a narcissist, Im so sorry you had to go trough that. Make boundaries and stick to them, because your mental health comes first! And remember to love yourself.
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The most important part for a narcissist - no matter what type - is to realize they are in fact a narcissist, get professional help and accept that help. Only then can they grow to become their better self.
So, shout-out to everyone who takes/have taken this steps to get better. You rock! Use this chance to make yourself and the people around you happier.
And to those who have been hurt by the action caused by a narcissist, Im so sorry you had to go trough that. Make boundaries and stick to them, because your mental health comes first! And remember to love yourself.
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wasan
0: 27 the grandiose narcissist: a person who is charming, self-absorbed, entitled, aggressive, authoritarian, and overly callous
1: 24 the vulnerable narcissist: a person who appears unapproachable, unfriendly, cold, negative, and unassertive
2: 29 the communal narcissist: a person who is kind on the surface but theyre mean once you get to know them
3: 07 the malignant narcissist: a person who is paranoid, immoral, cruel, aggressive, sadistic, they feel pleasure when they create chaos or letting people down
hope this helped: D
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0: 27 the grandiose narcissist: a person who is charming, self-absorbed, entitled, aggressive, authoritarian, and overly callous
1: 24 the vulnerable narcissist: a person who appears unapproachable, unfriendly, cold, negative, and unassertive
2: 29 the communal narcissist: a person who is kind on the surface but theyre mean once you get to know them
3: 07 the malignant narcissist: a person who is paranoid, immoral, cruel, aggressive, sadistic, they feel pleasure when they create chaos or letting people down
hope this helped: D
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The
Ironically, retroactively labeling someone a narcissist has become a common way to avoid responsibility and reimagine the history of relationships to paint yourself in a positive light. Again, ironically, taking advantage of this self centered phenomenon for views is repugnantly manipulative.
Go see real therapy. These videos can hurt you as much as you think they are helping you. Be honest about yourself. Ask why there are so many narcissist videos when the condition doesn't change - it's exploitation of victims at least.
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Ironically, retroactively labeling someone a narcissist has become a common way to avoid responsibility and reimagine the history of relationships to paint yourself in a positive light. Again, ironically, taking advantage of this self centered phenomenon for views is repugnantly manipulative.
Go see real therapy. These videos can hurt you as much as you think they are helping you. Be honest about yourself. Ask why there are so many narcissist videos when the condition doesn't change - it's exploitation of victims at least.
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Chisaten
This is giving me a burst of release! A very noticeable person in my small town is a perfect example of a communal Narcissist. Having a term that truly describes them and their behaviour is uplifting.
P. S. My mother's mother was a malignant Narcissist who was so bad that I wrote a paper diagnosing her as Narcissistic for my psychology class. The teacher liked the title: That Selfish Old B in England, or, A Case Study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I got an A and the teacher said I analysed her well.
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This is giving me a burst of release! A very noticeable person in my small town is a perfect example of a communal Narcissist. Having a term that truly describes them and their behaviour is uplifting.
P. S. My mother's mother was a malignant Narcissist who was so bad that I wrote a paper diagnosing her as Narcissistic for my psychology class. The teacher liked the title: That Selfish Old B in England, or, A Case Study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I got an A and the teacher said I analysed her well.
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69ers
Okay I'm definitely. a vulnerable narcissist, though I think I've been able to change some of those traits over time, but maybe not. I'm still cold and unassertive and just awful. I get defensive after small criticisms, and then after I think to myself what the hell was that about, and then I don't apologize because I'm too ashamed to bring it up. I also also get all shocked when someone compliments me. I really am a textbook narcissist, and I want ro change but I don't know how.
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Okay I'm definitely. a vulnerable narcissist, though I think I've been able to change some of those traits over time, but maybe not. I'm still cold and unassertive and just awful. I get defensive after small criticisms, and then after I think to myself what the hell was that about, and then I don't apologize because I'm too ashamed to bring it up. I also also get all shocked when someone compliments me. I really am a textbook narcissist, and I want ro change but I don't know how.
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Nightmare
Should I go to therapy i like watching things that make me sad/cry like i watch sad relatable videos for fun or like when im feeling meh and i have adhd autism anxiety and im scared to ask my parents for therapy cause they might be like why your fine or whats wrong you can tell me you don't need therapy and i have social anxiety so ya psych2go what should I do and do i need therapy
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Should I go to therapy i like watching things that make me sad/cry like i watch sad relatable videos for fun or like when im feeling meh and i have adhd autism anxiety and im scared to ask my parents for therapy cause they might be like why your fine or whats wrong you can tell me you don't need therapy and i have social anxiety so ya psych2go what should I do and do i need therapy
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education
yeah i'm definitely a vulnerable narcissist in some ways, not all.
i only came across the fact that there's different types of narcissism due to your videos so i thank you for that.
i'm one step closer to working on my (at times) damaged personality; becoming aware of and accepting my vulnerable narcissism is that step. i've still got a long LONG way to go though: /
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yeah i'm definitely a vulnerable narcissist in some ways, not all.
i only came across the fact that there's different types of narcissism due to your videos so i thank you for that.
i'm one step closer to working on my (at times) damaged personality; becoming aware of and accepting my vulnerable narcissism is that step. i've still got a long LONG way to go though: /
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svftannies
My dad is a narcissist and he feels the need to cause chaos pretty much every 6 months I personally will never understand how and why this happens and why some narcissists feel the need to hurt other people and turn a blind eye on their loved ones
Im pretty much stuck here and I wish to get out, narcissism is the root to destroying families and relationships
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My dad is a narcissist and he feels the need to cause chaos pretty much every 6 months I personally will never understand how and why this happens and why some narcissists feel the need to hurt other people and turn a blind eye on their loved ones
Im pretty much stuck here and I wish to get out, narcissism is the root to destroying families and relationships
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Amanda
I have a question what if a person accuses everyone else of being a narcissist And not call themselves a narcissist, Does that mean the one accusing everyone of being Narcissist instead of themselves is actually the real narcissist? I know someone that does this, and is like this, I am just wondering if it is actually true? or not?
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I have a question what if a person accuses everyone else of being a narcissist And not call themselves a narcissist, Does that mean the one accusing everyone of being Narcissist instead of themselves is actually the real narcissist? I know someone that does this, and is like this, I am just wondering if it is actually true? or not?
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Da
I am kinda like 2nd, but do not blame others for my mistakes. Like when something i did is not good enough and pointed out with mistakes, i feel that i am not good enough even when i put all my effort in it: (
I don't seek attention tho cuz i am a quiet guy and not much talkative. So, i am probably just vulnerable lol
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I am kinda like 2nd, but do not blame others for my mistakes. Like when something i did is not good enough and pointed out with mistakes, i feel that i am not good enough even when i put all my effort in it: (
I don't seek attention tho cuz i am a quiet guy and not much talkative. So, i am probably just vulnerable lol
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SilverAsh
Malignant narcissist sounds like me and i hate it, why im like this? I don't want to hurt and let others down. Yet I find enjoyment in chaos and people's suffering. This is terrible and i don't know how to get rid of these bad traits. I sometimes did that without me realising and the next day im full of regrets.
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Malignant narcissist sounds like me and i hate it, why im like this? I don't want to hurt and let others down. Yet I find enjoyment in chaos and people's suffering. This is terrible and i don't know how to get rid of these bad traits. I sometimes did that without me realising and the next day im full of regrets.
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education
Thanks for the advice! On the note about the Psychologist, in my local continent seeking help of psychologist is a rare occasion. This makes the job is less desired, resulting on low chance to find the almost perfect expert, especially when talking bout what they call small-ignorable things like narcissism.
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Thanks for the advice! On the note about the Psychologist, in my local continent seeking help of psychologist is a rare occasion. This makes the job is less desired, resulting on low chance to find the almost perfect expert, especially when talking bout what they call small-ignorable things like narcissism.
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education
Ive dated a malignant narcissist once. He would verbally abuse me in public and tell me while smiling and laughing that he cant wait to destroy my life.
I feel like those are one of the worst ones because you dont see their motives at first because its very subtle. then it gradually gets worse
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Ive dated a malignant narcissist once. He would verbally abuse me in public and tell me while smiling and laughing that he cant wait to destroy my life.
I feel like those are one of the worst ones because you dont see their motives at first because its very subtle. then it gradually gets worse
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Natan
I'm a pro narcissist, since I'm highly-highly sensitive, my narcissistic spectrum varies depending on weather, on what I ate or on what happened to me recently, so I have the chance to experience every type of narcissism and enjoy it more
new video idea for you - narcissistic hsp
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I'm a pro narcissist, since I'm highly-highly sensitive, my narcissistic spectrum varies depending on weather, on what I ate or on what happened to me recently, so I have the chance to experience every type of narcissism and enjoy it more
new video idea for you - narcissistic hsp
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DriftingDruid
the only inaccurate thing in this video was the therapist's speech bubble at 3: 54 saying You'll feel better in no time; these tendencies and habits usually take a long time to work on un-doing since they usually have been held for a long time too
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the only inaccurate thing in this video was the therapist's speech bubble at 3: 54 saying You'll feel better in no time; these tendencies and habits usually take a long time to work on un-doing since they usually have been held for a long time too
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ToadStool
I will say this, each and every one of us have some form of narcissism inside of us. It is up to us whether we want to let it take full control or for it to be maintained and controlled so we dont become full blown narcissists.
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I will say this, each and every one of us have some form of narcissism inside of us. It is up to us whether we want to let it take full control or for it to be maintained and controlled so we dont become full blown narcissists.
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Jamaul
Well I can confirm I'm no narcissist, since the thing I hate the most was myself, I hated my self so much I'd avoid mirrors just so I won't see myself, that was then, now I'm working on getting in shape so I'll like myself
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Well I can confirm I'm no narcissist, since the thing I hate the most was myself, I hated my self so much I'd avoid mirrors just so I won't see myself, that was then, now I'm working on getting in shape so I'll like myself
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Tristan
I believe that i may be a borderline narcissist. A psychologist went so far to tell me that i fit the criteria of ASPD as well. Its not on paper though, so i try to refrain from Labelling myself.
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I believe that i may be a borderline narcissist. A psychologist went so far to tell me that i fit the criteria of ASPD as well. Its not on paper though, so i try to refrain from Labelling myself.
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Ahrpigi
Vulnerable narcissists are also tricky because there's a lot of overlap with anxiety disorders. Their behaviours still need correcting, but they might genuinely not be doing it on purpose.
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Vulnerable narcissists are also tricky because there's a lot of overlap with anxiety disorders. Their behaviours still need correcting, but they might genuinely not be doing it on purpose.
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Charllenger
I'm dead sure I'm the Malignant. Description is 1to1 myself so everything is right. But I'll do nothing about it because I'm way too broken person to change something. It's too late.
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I'm dead sure I'm the Malignant. Description is 1to1 myself so everything is right. But I'll do nothing about it because I'm way too broken person to change something. It's too late.
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