5 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Bella
How do I deal with feeling guilty or like a burden because of chronic disease and disability as a young adult? Everyone tells me I have nothing to feel guilty about and though I know thats true, but I can't help it. I'm 21, in an e-wheelchair or my bed, I need diapers and help getting dressed. But my mind functions as good as ever. (Long text, only read if you want to give advice)
Because of the disability I am in a very co-dependent relationship with my mother. It's very difficult, I guess for both of us, (although she says she doesn't mind still having to basically take care of me as if I was still [in the body of] a toddler) cause that's what moms are there for.
Still I can't help but feel guilty and weird when she has to take so many sacrifices for me, cancel or make all of her plans around me, still be admitted into the hospital (often suddenly) alongside me because she's the one that knows my needs and condition best.
If she wants to go somewhere over the weekend that has to be planned meticulously. Somebody has to watch me, my pills need to be prepared, an emergency plan made.
I feel like her life is so (and getting more and more) stressful because of me, instead of getting quieter, as it usually would.
If I wasn't sick, I would have moved out by now, gone off on my own way.
Instead I am finishing school remotely from home now, after finally having achieved the rights and finances to do that (in germany) after a (years) long fight with loads of government offices and restrictions. A fight that again, my mother fought for me. For years. Because I was too sick, too weak, or undergoing testing in some clinic. And she drove back and forth between clinics, lawyers office and whatever government was mocking up this time.
And yet she was there in the clinic with me, every day. (I got really sick when I was 11, but doctors couldn't find out what I had until I was 19) because I have a really rare form of MS (juvenile MS. Usually MS starts around the 40s, in my case it began when I was 10. I've been through so much with my mum, which is why our relationship is so co-dependent. And I'm torn about that, now that I'm an adult.
Her whole life revolves around me, I'm her constant worry.
It's not supposed to be that way. Children are supposed to leave the nest and the parents are supposed to. If anything, the child should take care of the parent later on. But my mum continues to care for me, with all the energy it takes. And that is a lot.
I'm so thankful for her, but I just can not shake this guilty feeling in the back of my head that says I'm holding her back and she'd have a much easier life if she didn't have to take care of me that much.
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How do I deal with feeling guilty or like a burden because of chronic disease and disability as a young adult? Everyone tells me I have nothing to feel guilty about and though I know thats true, but I can't help it. I'm 21, in an e-wheelchair or my bed, I need diapers and help getting dressed. But my mind functions as good as ever. (Long text, only read if you want to give advice)
Because of the disability I am in a very co-dependent relationship with my mother. It's very difficult, I guess for both of us, (although she says she doesn't mind still having to basically take care of me as if I was still [in the body of] a toddler) cause that's what moms are there for.
Still I can't help but feel guilty and weird when she has to take so many sacrifices for me, cancel or make all of her plans around me, still be admitted into the hospital (often suddenly) alongside me because she's the one that knows my needs and condition best.
If she wants to go somewhere over the weekend that has to be planned meticulously. Somebody has to watch me, my pills need to be prepared, an emergency plan made.
I feel like her life is so (and getting more and more) stressful because of me, instead of getting quieter, as it usually would.
If I wasn't sick, I would have moved out by now, gone off on my own way.
Instead I am finishing school remotely from home now, after finally having achieved the rights and finances to do that (in germany) after a (years) long fight with loads of government offices and restrictions. A fight that again, my mother fought for me. For years. Because I was too sick, too weak, or undergoing testing in some clinic. And she drove back and forth between clinics, lawyers office and whatever government was mocking up this time.
And yet she was there in the clinic with me, every day. (I got really sick when I was 11, but doctors couldn't find out what I had until I was 19) because I have a really rare form of MS (juvenile MS. Usually MS starts around the 40s, in my case it began when I was 10. I've been through so much with my mum, which is why our relationship is so co-dependent. And I'm torn about that, now that I'm an adult.
Her whole life revolves around me, I'm her constant worry.
It's not supposed to be that way. Children are supposed to leave the nest and the parents are supposed to. If anything, the child should take care of the parent later on. But my mum continues to care for me, with all the energy it takes. And that is a lot.
I'm so thankful for her, but I just can not shake this guilty feeling in the back of my head that says I'm holding her back and she'd have a much easier life if she didn't have to take care of me that much.
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Yehanan
I am who I am- YHWH, I am sent me
I am the one who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of slavery
You must put no other GODS before me
You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth beneath of in the sea
You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I am jealous and WILL NOT tolerate your affection for any other gods.
I lay the sins of the parent onto the children, The entire family is affected
You must not misuse my name. I will not let those who misuse my name go unpunished
Elijah: 1 kings 18-1
Read the words of the 12 minor prophets, in the old testament, Use I, Me, Myself, My spirit, word of Mine, when you see LORD or GOD, gather the 12 stones, tear down that tree you were hiding behind, sacrifice the bull those spirits that try to destroy you, fear, anguish, punishment, death, murder, accusations and then MY righteous fire will come down and heal my heart and the words can live inside giving me life and not punishment or fear.
I WILL live my life, I am the living soul, and read Ecclesiastes also saying I me myself my kingdom, word of mine, my spirit, Instead of god, place a flaming sword there so no man can enter
Heaven- heart, earth flesh, hell - a place of weaping and gnashing of teeth the afterlife is paganism from german lore so is the word god or gudan from ancient germany and anglo lore, wild beasts/lamb/birds- spirits or feelings of things, nourishment-waters, devil/beast/false prophet me myself I am who I am, I am a living soul, I am a beautiful person, I am love, peace, passion, strength, mercy, and fire, I am the garden of life, I need no forgiveness because life is free and I will survive, and place a flaming sword and no longer curse myself for cain, or fear the serpent, because I am the creator
I am the living soul, men have destroyed my conscience and I no longer will let them in to hurt me or anyone else anymore, Only words of encouragement, life, happiness, love, peace, understanding, and unity, the redeemer is Me, Egypt, The Assyrians, the Babylonians, The Persians, Greeks and Romans, Anglo-English-Germans and many more have confused all of us to lock Us in cages
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I am who I am- YHWH, I am sent me
I am the one who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of slavery
You must put no other GODS before me
You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth beneath of in the sea
You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I am jealous and WILL NOT tolerate your affection for any other gods.
I lay the sins of the parent onto the children, The entire family is affected
You must not misuse my name. I will not let those who misuse my name go unpunished
Elijah: 1 kings 18-1
Read the words of the 12 minor prophets, in the old testament, Use I, Me, Myself, My spirit, word of Mine, when you see LORD or GOD, gather the 12 stones, tear down that tree you were hiding behind, sacrifice the bull those spirits that try to destroy you, fear, anguish, punishment, death, murder, accusations and then MY righteous fire will come down and heal my heart and the words can live inside giving me life and not punishment or fear.
I WILL live my life, I am the living soul, and read Ecclesiastes also saying I me myself my kingdom, word of mine, my spirit, Instead of god, place a flaming sword there so no man can enter
Heaven- heart, earth flesh, hell - a place of weaping and gnashing of teeth the afterlife is paganism from german lore so is the word god or gudan from ancient germany and anglo lore, wild beasts/lamb/birds- spirits or feelings of things, nourishment-waters, devil/beast/false prophet me myself I am who I am, I am a living soul, I am a beautiful person, I am love, peace, passion, strength, mercy, and fire, I am the garden of life, I need no forgiveness because life is free and I will survive, and place a flaming sword and no longer curse myself for cain, or fear the serpent, because I am the creator
I am the living soul, men have destroyed my conscience and I no longer will let them in to hurt me or anyone else anymore, Only words of encouragement, life, happiness, love, peace, understanding, and unity, the redeemer is Me, Egypt, The Assyrians, the Babylonians, The Persians, Greeks and Romans, Anglo-English-Germans and many more have confused all of us to lock Us in cages
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Rex
This video is obviously made with good intensions, but people should have caution before labelling their partner toxic. I mean, is your partner automatically controlling if he/she tells his/her opinion on what you should wear? I think it depends on how often these situation occur and how forcefully these situations happen. Also, if both participants are toxic in different situations and different ways, isnt it possible that it all balances out overall? Not the greatest relationship, sure, but it can still work out. According to the examples given of all the dozens relationships in my family and friends, there is only one where neither person has never said or done any of these things (and I dont know that one perfect couple that well to be honest. So what do you do? Stop having partners and starting families because no-one is perfect? Everyone has to decide where the other person crosses the line, thats all. I aint perfect but probably neither are you.
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This video is obviously made with good intensions, but people should have caution before labelling their partner toxic. I mean, is your partner automatically controlling if he/she tells his/her opinion on what you should wear? I think it depends on how often these situation occur and how forcefully these situations happen. Also, if both participants are toxic in different situations and different ways, isnt it possible that it all balances out overall? Not the greatest relationship, sure, but it can still work out. According to the examples given of all the dozens relationships in my family and friends, there is only one where neither person has never said or done any of these things (and I dont know that one perfect couple that well to be honest. So what do you do? Stop having partners and starting families because no-one is perfect? Everyone has to decide where the other person crosses the line, thats all. I aint perfect but probably neither are you.
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Christina_YJ
I have a question about depression. I have a friend who was depressed and he was suicidal a year ago and he said it must be extreme depression to have some personality disorders. He even mentioned that Im just depressed so Im okay. Im very confused when I heard that. I feel depression is a very strong and dangerous emotions because I think of negative thoughts for more than 1 hour. When I feel other emotions like anger, happiness, anxious, they last shorter than my depression. I also have a very rich imagination (my opinion) and I always think how people would feel and I could go too far and I began to overthink I found myself crying. I also can cry in unexpected timings. Is it an outburst because sometimes I cannot understand why I cry.
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I have a question about depression. I have a friend who was depressed and he was suicidal a year ago and he said it must be extreme depression to have some personality disorders. He even mentioned that Im just depressed so Im okay. Im very confused when I heard that. I feel depression is a very strong and dangerous emotions because I think of negative thoughts for more than 1 hour. When I feel other emotions like anger, happiness, anxious, they last shorter than my depression. I also have a very rich imagination (my opinion) and I always think how people would feel and I could go too far and I began to overthink I found myself crying. I also can cry in unexpected timings. Is it an outburst because sometimes I cannot understand why I cry.
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education
Thanks psycch2go, I deeply appreciate your work & I like the combo of the older and newer animation together. Best of both worlds to me.
I was in a decades-long relationship with a partner who exhibited all 5 traits. I was a kind compassionate person and he saw the opportunity to charm me into taking care of him. From the outside, everyone believed it was a good partnership because he always put on a good persona for them and told half-truths and outright lies. All those folks discouraged me from leaving him. Sadly, the way I got away from him was that he passed away. Even lawyers couldn't get him out - my last resort was to sell my home but he saved me from that, he is in a better place and at peace.
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Thanks psycch2go, I deeply appreciate your work & I like the combo of the older and newer animation together. Best of both worlds to me.
I was in a decades-long relationship with a partner who exhibited all 5 traits. I was a kind compassionate person and he saw the opportunity to charm me into taking care of him. From the outside, everyone believed it was a good partnership because he always put on a good persona for them and told half-truths and outright lies. All those folks discouraged me from leaving him. Sadly, the way I got away from him was that he passed away. Even lawyers couldn't get him out - my last resort was to sell my home but he saved me from that, he is in a better place and at peace.
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Peter
My (late 30s male) three toxic relationships (two narcissistic and one controlling) all ended the same way. I eventually got bored of their shenanigans, lulled them into a false sense of security, promised them everything they wanted, made them think they had me wrapped around their finger(s, and then simply ghosted them.
Each time I wasn't even angry, just disappointed. For some reason, I was able to clearly see their toxicity shortly after each relationship began, as if they weren't even trying to be subtle while attempting to manipulate me. Funny enough, I even felt a little bit insulted that they didn't bring their A game to the table.
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My (late 30s male) three toxic relationships (two narcissistic and one controlling) all ended the same way. I eventually got bored of their shenanigans, lulled them into a false sense of security, promised them everything they wanted, made them think they had me wrapped around their finger(s, and then simply ghosted them.
Each time I wasn't even angry, just disappointed. For some reason, I was able to clearly see their toxicity shortly after each relationship began, as if they weren't even trying to be subtle while attempting to manipulate me. Funny enough, I even felt a little bit insulted that they didn't bring their A game to the table.
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Mihb
In my case he was always saying he was confused, that one day he loved me other day he didn't. This created a huge insecurity in me, I was always doubt. So I was doing everything to support him, even thought I was giving him financial help, upgraded his boat to go for his work, bought him a car but nothing was enough. He was using silent treatment a lot if I was trying to talk with with him how I was felling it was my fault. Now he left me pregnant and I really believe everything is my fault. Is terrible how I lost myself and I feel guilty he said everything is my fault after all! And a lot of gaslight too.
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In my case he was always saying he was confused, that one day he loved me other day he didn't. This created a huge insecurity in me, I was always doubt. So I was doing everything to support him, even thought I was giving him financial help, upgraded his boat to go for his work, bought him a car but nothing was enough. He was using silent treatment a lot if I was trying to talk with with him how I was felling it was my fault. Now he left me pregnant and I really believe everything is my fault. Is terrible how I lost myself and I feel guilty he said everything is my fault after all! And a lot of gaslight too.
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Nael
I have a really high anxiety level, and therefore gets scared about everything really easily. I'm really scared to be too controlling, and as such, toxic. Ive told my partner about this and they told me it wasnt the case and i wasnt doing anything bad. (I dont control them at all, i just tend to be scared easily if they dont respond in a while etc. I dont think i am a toxic person but can i really know? How to know if i am or not? And how to change if i am?
I trust my lover when they tell me im not being toxic, but even so im still scared-
Thanks in advance
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I have a really high anxiety level, and therefore gets scared about everything really easily. I'm really scared to be too controlling, and as such, toxic. Ive told my partner about this and they told me it wasnt the case and i wasnt doing anything bad. (I dont control them at all, i just tend to be scared easily if they dont respond in a while etc. I dont think i am a toxic person but can i really know? How to know if i am or not? And how to change if i am?
I trust my lover when they tell me im not being toxic, but even so im still scared-
Thanks in advance
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tv
Issues may not cease upon exiting a toxic relationship.
Extreme example, couples on skid Row with addiction in tow. They're obviously not in healthy relationship, but they want the same security a relationship brings, but their issues outside of relationships don't instantly disappear if they leave the toxic relationship.
Please seek help if you are in a situation, but be aware solving one issue may not solve them all. So please talk to people you can trust, & don't rely on Internet video's or chat, posts (like me) before you act.
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Issues may not cease upon exiting a toxic relationship.
Extreme example, couples on skid Row with addiction in tow. They're obviously not in healthy relationship, but they want the same security a relationship brings, but their issues outside of relationships don't instantly disappear if they leave the toxic relationship.
Please seek help if you are in a situation, but be aware solving one issue may not solve them all. So please talk to people you can trust, & don't rely on Internet video's or chat, posts (like me) before you act.
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Witchy
The fear of codependency makes me terrified of asking for anything ever, especially from my boyfriend because I was told all during my childhood that I was too reliant on my parents by my mother & her family. If I ask for help figuring out what to wear or assistance in doing something to make it easier for me to help myself I feel like Im burdening him unnecessarily. & I cant tell if thats the case or not
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The fear of codependency makes me terrified of asking for anything ever, especially from my boyfriend because I was told all during my childhood that I was too reliant on my parents by my mother & her family. If I ask for help figuring out what to wear or assistance in doing something to make it easier for me to help myself I feel like Im burdening him unnecessarily. & I cant tell if thats the case or not
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Emii
Ive had close calls with all of these types of relationships. When it ended I felt like I was in the wrong or unlovable. After doing work in therapy, I understand that those relationships were just not healthy and not meant for me. Im at a much healthier and happier point in my life and I am actively working on becoming a good partner for my future spouse.
Thank you for these informative videos
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Ive had close calls with all of these types of relationships. When it ended I felt like I was in the wrong or unlovable. After doing work in therapy, I understand that those relationships were just not healthy and not meant for me. Im at a much healthier and happier point in my life and I am actively working on becoming a good partner for my future spouse.
Thank you for these informative videos
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SomeMando
A good video idea I think of is how to be there, how to be supportive, to a partner that is going through something of great difficulty. An example is if your partner is depressed, they will get better, but it will take some time. So what could you do for your partner while also being resilient enough not to become depressed yourself?
Just that kind of thing, I hope it makes sense: P
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A good video idea I think of is how to be there, how to be supportive, to a partner that is going through something of great difficulty. An example is if your partner is depressed, they will get better, but it will take some time. So what could you do for your partner while also being resilient enough not to become depressed yourself?
Just that kind of thing, I hope it makes sense: P
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Nightmare
Should I go to therapy i like watching things that make me sad/cry like i watch sad relatable videos for fun or like when im feeling meh and i have adhd autism anxiety and im scared to ask my parents for therapy cause they might be like why your fine or whats wrong you can tell me you don't need therapy and i have social anxiety so ya psych2go what should I do and do i need therapy
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Should I go to therapy i like watching things that make me sad/cry like i watch sad relatable videos for fun or like when im feeling meh and i have adhd autism anxiety and im scared to ask my parents for therapy cause they might be like why your fine or whats wrong you can tell me you don't need therapy and i have social anxiety so ya psych2go what should I do and do i need therapy
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britt
I'd love to see a video on: how to have a fight without hurting eachother and how to tell what is frustrating you without telling it frustrated. Because I'm not able to become mad until the pile of frustration is falling over and now I'm rude person towards the person I actually love and he deserves love but due my old home situation I have these bad habits: /
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I'd love to see a video on: how to have a fight without hurting eachother and how to tell what is frustrating you without telling it frustrated. Because I'm not able to become mad until the pile of frustration is falling over and now I'm rude person towards the person I actually love and he deserves love but due my old home situation I have these bad habits: /
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Rikki
Hi All! I need some quick help: I'm doing some research on Toxic Love Relationships and would love to do a 20 minute interview with anyone who has dealt with, or is dealing with, this issue. I promise I'm NOT selling anything! I just want to learn from your wisdom. Comment here if you are willing, and I will then DM you. Thank you!
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Hi All! I need some quick help: I'm doing some research on Toxic Love Relationships and would love to do a 20 minute interview with anyone who has dealt with, or is dealing with, this issue. I promise I'm NOT selling anything! I just want to learn from your wisdom. Comment here if you are willing, and I will then DM you. Thank you!
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Indrid
All relationships are unhealthy. If you are in a relationship, you have invited someone to invade your life. I want nobody invading my life. Thus, I have no relationships, whether amorous nor amicable. I learned the hard way. People in your life are nothing but invaders. I will never have invaders in my life again.
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All relationships are unhealthy. If you are in a relationship, you have invited someone to invade your life. I want nobody invading my life. Thus, I have no relationships, whether amorous nor amicable. I learned the hard way. People in your life are nothing but invaders. I will never have invaders in my life again.
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Jack
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don't know why I am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
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Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don't know why I am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
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Mochi
I was in a controlling relationship for about 2 years. It took some time to get over it but I was able to finally find peace and freedom now that I am away from it. For whoever is going through any of these toxic relationships, save yourself from the pain and leave while you still have the chance
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I was in a controlling relationship for about 2 years. It took some time to get over it but I was able to finally find peace and freedom now that I am away from it. For whoever is going through any of these toxic relationships, save yourself from the pain and leave while you still have the chance
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yeonmxaz
Actually because I was so emotional that I used to get made fun of by my own friends and relatives now I am emotionless but if I cry those tears will be so painful I became aggressive because of holding them for too long I am aggressive now rather then the happy nature the old me is dead
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Actually because I was so emotional that I used to get made fun of by my own friends and relatives now I am emotionless but if I cry those tears will be so painful I became aggressive because of holding them for too long I am aggressive now rather then the happy nature the old me is dead
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Ingrid
I was just in a codependent relationship where I definitely was taking care of her ( in all ways) but she was incapable of being there emotionally, so then I did the scorecard cause it really felt like she never made any effort. and by neglecting me emotionally it felt like abuse.
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I was just in a codependent relationship where I definitely was taking care of her ( in all ways) but she was incapable of being there emotionally, so then I did the scorecard cause it really felt like she never made any effort. and by neglecting me emotionally it felt like abuse.
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Sam
Hi I know were talking about the contents of the video in the comment section, but can everyone just stop and stare at the visuals? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. Ive seen them animate before in some videos AND THEY REALLY BLOSSOMED. IF YOU CAN SEE THIS ARTIST/S AND EDITORS I LOVE YOUR ARTTT
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Hi I know were talking about the contents of the video in the comment section, but can everyone just stop and stare at the visuals? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. Ive seen them animate before in some videos AND THEY REALLY BLOSSOMED. IF YOU CAN SEE THIS ARTIST/S AND EDITORS I LOVE YOUR ARTTT
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Clocktopus26
Tip: if you're having doubts about your relationship but hold back from telling your partner about it, the relationship will just get worse and worse. It's better to tell your partner the truth (even if it's not what they want to hear) than letting your feelings fester.
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Tip: if you're having doubts about your relationship but hold back from telling your partner about it, the relationship will just get worse and worse. It's better to tell your partner the truth (even if it's not what they want to hear) than letting your feelings fester.
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chiffon
I don't know if I'm in an unhealthy relationship. One of my BSF calls me a monkey and a pig as a joke and I just laugh it off. I want to tell her but I'm to anxious. Sometimes she makes joke that make me feel uncomfortable and shit. I just don't know what to do.
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I don't know if I'm in an unhealthy relationship. One of my BSF calls me a monkey and a pig as a joke and I just laugh it off. I want to tell her but I'm to anxious. Sometimes she makes joke that make me feel uncomfortable and shit. I just don't know what to do.
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education
This gave me an idea where Id love if you guys made another video on why some of us attract nothing but toxic, unhealthy relationships. And seem to never attract anything healthy. Its like a cycle of meeting the same people, in different bodies
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This gave me an idea where Id love if you guys made another video on why some of us attract nothing but toxic, unhealthy relationships. And seem to never attract anything healthy. Its like a cycle of meeting the same people, in different bodies
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Sasha
What do you do. when you're also toxic in the relationship? I just realised I relate to the codependent, controling and scorekeeping parts of this, while my fiance seems to be somewhat controlling, nasassisstic, and emotionally abusive.
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What do you do. when you're also toxic in the relationship? I just realised I relate to the codependent, controling and scorekeeping parts of this, while my fiance seems to be somewhat controlling, nasassisstic, and emotionally abusive.
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