5 Things You Shouldn't Be Responsible For
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Angie
Im the person who is constantly saying Im sorry for absolutely no reason, then saying Im sorry for saying it. I didnt realize how much I was saying until a coworker actually threatened to punch me in the face if I said Im sorry again. That resulted in me going into panic mode and I constantly was trying to plan out every single word I said just so I wouldn't say it. Every day I left work with chest pain, a major headache and I would start crying as soon as my key hit the lock on the door. I stopped working there a few yrs after that, and I still say im sorry extremely way to much, I am more aware of it and try so hard not to say it but there are times when I say it and I dont even realize that I said it. So in order to prevent me saying it to anyone I avoid going anywhere if possible, I dont go anywhere that will require me to have any kind of a lengthy conversation, I avoid eye contact with people because I feel like I have to apologize for starring at them even though im not. This is just one of the things that I deal with daily, and I have come to the conclusion after watching several of the videos on here, that I am a complete mess and have been for a long time, its just now everything is coming up and spilling out because over the years I shoved all the pain, anger, stress, anxiety, and all the other madness down way deep inside and kept shoving til now there is no more room for me to put anything. I honestly don't know how I made it as long as I have without having a mental breakdown. There are things I have endured that would make someone else have horrific nightmares and develop PTSD if I was to share with them what I went thru. Im not saying all of this because im looking for a pat on the back or good job from anyone, im just doing something that I don't ever do and thats talk about how im feeling, i never do that because im always trying to fix, help, listen, do for everyone else and never do anything for me. I feel guilty if i do something for myself, I put everyone else's needs before my own, i put myself 2nd and always, and I mean always put myself last in every situation and in return I get disrespected by everyone including my children, nobody ever says thank you for anything I do, even when they know the exteme that I went thru to help them or get them what the wanted, even when i have put my life in danger to do so. I get left out of important things, like baby showers etc. unless they need money to fund it. Then im one of the first people called, ill pay for whatever is needed to be paid for and then somehow when the time comes for whatever it is I am forgotten about and not notified of any changes in the time or date, but I will still answer their calls because I am a idiot and I want so badly to be accepted and loved that I continue to let them treat me like garbage, but at least they are acknowledging me, RIGHT? I didnt think that wanting to be loved, accepted, respected, and just all around needed but in a good way would hurt so damn bad.
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Im the person who is constantly saying Im sorry for absolutely no reason, then saying Im sorry for saying it. I didnt realize how much I was saying until a coworker actually threatened to punch me in the face if I said Im sorry again. That resulted in me going into panic mode and I constantly was trying to plan out every single word I said just so I wouldn't say it. Every day I left work with chest pain, a major headache and I would start crying as soon as my key hit the lock on the door. I stopped working there a few yrs after that, and I still say im sorry extremely way to much, I am more aware of it and try so hard not to say it but there are times when I say it and I dont even realize that I said it. So in order to prevent me saying it to anyone I avoid going anywhere if possible, I dont go anywhere that will require me to have any kind of a lengthy conversation, I avoid eye contact with people because I feel like I have to apologize for starring at them even though im not. This is just one of the things that I deal with daily, and I have come to the conclusion after watching several of the videos on here, that I am a complete mess and have been for a long time, its just now everything is coming up and spilling out because over the years I shoved all the pain, anger, stress, anxiety, and all the other madness down way deep inside and kept shoving til now there is no more room for me to put anything. I honestly don't know how I made it as long as I have without having a mental breakdown. There are things I have endured that would make someone else have horrific nightmares and develop PTSD if I was to share with them what I went thru. Im not saying all of this because im looking for a pat on the back or good job from anyone, im just doing something that I don't ever do and thats talk about how im feeling, i never do that because im always trying to fix, help, listen, do for everyone else and never do anything for me. I feel guilty if i do something for myself, I put everyone else's needs before my own, i put myself 2nd and always, and I mean always put myself last in every situation and in return I get disrespected by everyone including my children, nobody ever says thank you for anything I do, even when they know the exteme that I went thru to help them or get them what the wanted, even when i have put my life in danger to do so. I get left out of important things, like baby showers etc. unless they need money to fund it. Then im one of the first people called, ill pay for whatever is needed to be paid for and then somehow when the time comes for whatever it is I am forgotten about and not notified of any changes in the time or date, but I will still answer their calls because I am a idiot and I want so badly to be accepted and loved that I continue to let them treat me like garbage, but at least they are acknowledging me, RIGHT? I didnt think that wanting to be loved, accepted, respected, and just all around needed but in a good way would hurt so damn bad.
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RowanPepperglow
I felt overly responsible for things; partially because of a troublesome sibling, and partially because of an overbearing mother. (I've got a healthier mindset now, but sometimes, I'll blame myself for dumb stuff)
My little sister was a piece of work If she wasn't happy, she was going to make that everybody else's problem. I constantly felt like I had to be on damage control and minimize the situations that would set her off.
When my parents left me and my sister home to go run errands, I was the one to open the door and let them back in. My mom would always snap: What took you so long? (She might have meant it as a joke, but I took it personally) One day, I opened the door for my dad and broke down into tears because I wasn't any faster getting to the door, and I was CERTAIN that he was irritated with me. (He wasn't)
Pretty sure he told my mom later, because she stopped snapping at me when I answered the door.
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I felt overly responsible for things; partially because of a troublesome sibling, and partially because of an overbearing mother. (I've got a healthier mindset now, but sometimes, I'll blame myself for dumb stuff)
My little sister was a piece of work If she wasn't happy, she was going to make that everybody else's problem. I constantly felt like I had to be on damage control and minimize the situations that would set her off.
When my parents left me and my sister home to go run errands, I was the one to open the door and let them back in. My mom would always snap: What took you so long? (She might have meant it as a joke, but I took it personally) One day, I opened the door for my dad and broke down into tears because I wasn't any faster getting to the door, and I was CERTAIN that he was irritated with me. (He wasn't)
Pretty sure he told my mom later, because she stopped snapping at me when I answered the door.
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Sketchy
For those of you who are sick of me saying sorryIm sorry!
In all seriousness though, I feel like Ive been a bit cynical about how I take responsibility. I grew up believing in the virtue of the George Washington cherry tree story (even if it was completely made up, I still believe it has value in it. So I try to live up to it, but always get the opposite reaction. About a year ago if not longer, I feel like Ive come to a point where I got sick of apologizing every time even when I am responsible. Im one of those that believe a sincere apology also means changing ones actions/behavior/attitude, but I feel like Ive been doing that while others walk all over me.
I still try to watch myself, I still try to apologize when I legitimately believe Im at fault, but Im at the point where I need to put my foot down.
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For those of you who are sick of me saying sorryIm sorry!
In all seriousness though, I feel like Ive been a bit cynical about how I take responsibility. I grew up believing in the virtue of the George Washington cherry tree story (even if it was completely made up, I still believe it has value in it. So I try to live up to it, but always get the opposite reaction. About a year ago if not longer, I feel like Ive come to a point where I got sick of apologizing every time even when I am responsible. Im one of those that believe a sincere apology also means changing ones actions/behavior/attitude, but I feel like Ive been doing that while others walk all over me.
I still try to watch myself, I still try to apologize when I legitimately believe Im at fault, but Im at the point where I need to put my foot down.
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Fallen
I hate how I am normally apologizing for things that aren't my fault. It has become so natural after the nonsense I have been through.
I am usually in the position where I take the brunt of the criticisms for others' mistakes (being a waiter, the oldest son in a family, and now I am also a provider for my family since my parents are separated. While I do make very taxing mistakes at times, I have to add those mistakes to the mistakes of others as my own. Maybe I get unfairly targeted because of my light case of Asperger's, or because of my shorter height and pathetic voice, but in the end. I don't know. I just want to be loved for real.
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I hate how I am normally apologizing for things that aren't my fault. It has become so natural after the nonsense I have been through.
I am usually in the position where I take the brunt of the criticisms for others' mistakes (being a waiter, the oldest son in a family, and now I am also a provider for my family since my parents are separated. While I do make very taxing mistakes at times, I have to add those mistakes to the mistakes of others as my own. Maybe I get unfairly targeted because of my light case of Asperger's, or because of my shorter height and pathetic voice, but in the end. I don't know. I just want to be loved for real.
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Kwanza
My best friend exhibits most of these traits, especially taking reponsibility for others' actions. It definitely stemmed from her family and she knows it. The family's been through conselling before but they've become toxic to her kind and often forward-thinking actions that have saved them countless times to date. She knows she has to take a step back from them and let them handle their own issues but it's hard when it's been so ingrained into her to protect them and when they themselves won't allow her to live her life.
She's working on herself as best as she can with her friends beside her and with prayers to the heavenly Father.
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My best friend exhibits most of these traits, especially taking reponsibility for others' actions. It definitely stemmed from her family and she knows it. The family's been through conselling before but they've become toxic to her kind and often forward-thinking actions that have saved them countless times to date. She knows she has to take a step back from them and let them handle their own issues but it's hard when it's been so ingrained into her to protect them and when they themselves won't allow her to live her life.
She's working on herself as best as she can with her friends beside her and with prayers to the heavenly Father.
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pageashleypage
Idk but my toddler will get my attention, look me in the eye with a straight face, and blatantly do something dangerous or mess with something he knows is valuable to me. seems to be a choice he is actively engaging in to get some sort of rise out of me.
He usually does it when we aren't doing what he wants. We cant force granny to meet us at a park to play during her work hours. It's like he thinks I pull rules out of my ass. Whenever I can tell him it's a law, I will, otherwise, he thinks I'm the one trying to limit or control him. He's a wild one, we have fun
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Idk but my toddler will get my attention, look me in the eye with a straight face, and blatantly do something dangerous or mess with something he knows is valuable to me. seems to be a choice he is actively engaging in to get some sort of rise out of me.
He usually does it when we aren't doing what he wants. We cant force granny to meet us at a park to play during her work hours. It's like he thinks I pull rules out of my ass. Whenever I can tell him it's a law, I will, otherwise, he thinks I'm the one trying to limit or control him. He's a wild one, we have fun
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Nick
I've been through this quite recently: a relative novice as a driver, I had my first real accident back in February (a sideswipe on the right, and I initially assumed it was all my fault (an improper lane change, and said so even when I reported it to insurance. However, they seem to have disagreed, and took my side in the matter! For I had also said that I was going right AT the speed limit, and let slip that the other driver was passing from behind on the right. .. which is illegal. But I was so SURE it was my fault. .. !
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I've been through this quite recently: a relative novice as a driver, I had my first real accident back in February (a sideswipe on the right, and I initially assumed it was all my fault (an improper lane change, and said so even when I reported it to insurance. However, they seem to have disagreed, and took my side in the matter! For I had also said that I was going right AT the speed limit, and let slip that the other driver was passing from behind on the right. .. which is illegal. But I was so SURE it was my fault. .. !
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AudioDamNation
I've tended to be more of the rescuer. even when I had nothing much to offer anymore, I tried to be supportive & caring to those I thought that I loved. It turns out they bring too much negativity to my life, and I will continue to focus inwards with the awareness of budding opportunities to replace the life I have lost. Sometimes. things happen for good reason. Thank you for discussing topics that shine a light on the many behaviors regarding mental health.
I appreciate you
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I've tended to be more of the rescuer. even when I had nothing much to offer anymore, I tried to be supportive & caring to those I thought that I loved. It turns out they bring too much negativity to my life, and I will continue to focus inwards with the awareness of budding opportunities to replace the life I have lost. Sometimes. things happen for good reason. Thank you for discussing topics that shine a light on the many behaviors regarding mental health.
I appreciate you
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Buck
Psych2go. do you ever hear about people suffering from v2k? It just pertains to me because I was a lot more easygoing before but now since being traumatized a bit I blame myself for everything. my stalker hurt a lot of people I care about and I feel responsible for what he did to them mentally. everythings ok now but it still affects me. sometimes it feels like ptsd. sometimes I still feel responsible
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Psych2go. do you ever hear about people suffering from v2k? It just pertains to me because I was a lot more easygoing before but now since being traumatized a bit I blame myself for everything. my stalker hurt a lot of people I care about and I feel responsible for what he did to them mentally. everythings ok now but it still affects me. sometimes it feels like ptsd. sometimes I still feel responsible
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Alexandria
This video is amazing, I needed this so badly. Personally, I'd love more videos on this topic. I remember growing up and never being taught what was my responsibility and what wasn't. So I learned that everything must be my responsibility, especially the happiness of those around me. Please consider making more videos on this topic! And Thank you so much for making it in the first place!
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This video is amazing, I needed this so badly. Personally, I'd love more videos on this topic. I remember growing up and never being taught what was my responsibility and what wasn't. So I learned that everything must be my responsibility, especially the happiness of those around me. Please consider making more videos on this topic! And Thank you so much for making it in the first place!
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Prerna
I'm at 01: 55 and i am so numb, like yes my parents blame me for everything and now I'm like them and I'm always too sorry and running from everything i feel like everything is my mistake I was thinking about it yesterday too why i think that way should i go or talk with someone mature because i really can't stop blaming myself for everything
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I'm at 01: 55 and i am so numb, like yes my parents blame me for everything and now I'm like them and I'm always too sorry and running from everything i feel like everything is my mistake I was thinking about it yesterday too why i think that way should i go or talk with someone mature because i really can't stop blaming myself for everything
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Flamegamer
There were times where I blame myself for people around me being in a certain mood even though I didnt do anything wrong and even stopped going to class just because I tried to talk to them. I also feel like that Im doing what parents couldnt accomplish when they were younger and I feel guilty that if I dont do so.
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There were times where I blame myself for people around me being in a certain mood even though I didnt do anything wrong and even stopped going to class just because I tried to talk to them. I also feel like that Im doing what parents couldnt accomplish when they were younger and I feel guilty that if I dont do so.
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Stuart
I very rarely comment on your videos but I really enjoy watching them. I help people all of the time, sometimes to my own detriment. I feel like I owe it to them in some way and really don't expect anything, except a thank you and appreciation at the end of it. I genuinely love helping people all of the time!
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I very rarely comment on your videos but I really enjoy watching them. I help people all of the time, sometimes to my own detriment. I feel like I owe it to them in some way and really don't expect anything, except a thank you and appreciation at the end of it. I genuinely love helping people all of the time!
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Ray
It depends. Because when someone is in a relationship, then partners kinda are responsible in a way for feelings of each other. Maybe less responsible for dreams, but there is some dependence too. So I can't agree with some things here. BUT as an INFJ I see things different and feel different.
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It depends. Because when someone is in a relationship, then partners kinda are responsible in a way for feelings of each other. Maybe less responsible for dreams, but there is some dependence too. So I can't agree with some things here. BUT as an INFJ I see things different and feel different.
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Reagan
I'm always apologizing for things that seem little to no importance, or i apologize if I've crossed a line when I haven't. im always feeling sorry because i don't wanna hurt anyone, idk if its the same thing as the examples on the list but. i know its unhealthy.
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I'm always apologizing for things that seem little to no importance, or i apologize if I've crossed a line when I haven't. im always feeling sorry because i don't wanna hurt anyone, idk if its the same thing as the examples on the list but. i know its unhealthy.
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education
I say sorry even when it's not my fault. And the person I apologize to is like Are you blind?
They are lucky I didn't start a war. Maybe it's because of my personality. Idk if I can change it, or i should. If someone has a opinion, then feel free to say.
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I say sorry even when it's not my fault. And the person I apologize to is like Are you blind?
They are lucky I didn't start a war. Maybe it's because of my personality. Idk if I can change it, or i should. If someone has a opinion, then feel free to say.
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Khadijah
I feel responsible for other people's feelings. . And for not fulfilling a parent dream so I don't pursue my dream to make up for it. . When I'm around others and mistakes happen I feel responsible to fix it. .
This video has been super helpful thank you
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I feel responsible for other people's feelings. . And for not fulfilling a parent dream so I don't pursue my dream to make up for it. . When I'm around others and mistakes happen I feel responsible to fix it. .
This video has been super helpful thank you
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Carly
I was given advice on a discord server to talk with parent(s) about trying to change their bad habits regarding me, respect Im my own person and such. Yet I still view scenarios when they continue making the assumption theyre not doing anything wrong.
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I was given advice on a discord server to talk with parent(s) about trying to change their bad habits regarding me, respect Im my own person and such. Yet I still view scenarios when they continue making the assumption theyre not doing anything wrong.
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Sabrina
0: 50 if whenever I say that phrase of even think it, my brain immediately goes to, why in the world are you saying that you are being so dramatic. Even now, Im thinking that very phrase and Im cringing at myself for typing it out. Is this normal?
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0: 50 if whenever I say that phrase of even think it, my brain immediately goes to, why in the world are you saying that you are being so dramatic. Even now, Im thinking that very phrase and Im cringing at myself for typing it out. Is this normal?
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Lee
Oof. I wished I had heard that last one when I was in undergrad. Now I'm in grad school and sometimes still struggle with the thought of me pursuing these degrees becayse it's my dream, or just to fulfill my family's expectations and dreams.
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Oof. I wished I had heard that last one when I was in undergrad. Now I'm in grad school and sometimes still struggle with the thought of me pursuing these degrees becayse it's my dream, or just to fulfill my family's expectations and dreams.
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jordgubbe7
I have a best friend that is 5 years younger than me and he's getting bullied in school.
Thanks to these kinds of videos i know a bit on what to do to help him if he needs it.
So thanks for making these videos.
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I have a best friend that is 5 years younger than me and he's getting bullied in school.
Thanks to these kinds of videos i know a bit on what to do to help him if he needs it.
So thanks for making these videos.
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Jurassic
This apply to me I say sorry just because I walk in front of people and because others do or think something bad and this video shows me that I can care for people but dont take
Blame for something bad that happens
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This apply to me I say sorry just because I walk in front of people and because others do or think something bad and this video shows me that I can care for people but dont take
Blame for something bad that happens
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Pie
I needed this, thank you
My friend was spiraling, and I thought that it was my responsibility to save her. While I could help a little, it was never my responsibility. The only person who can make you better is yourself
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I needed this, thank you
My friend was spiraling, and I thought that it was my responsibility to save her. While I could help a little, it was never my responsibility. The only person who can make you better is yourself
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365ral
Ive heard of people going so far as to apologize for grieving! They invalidate their need to mourn to avoid being too depressing, or a burden to others. Imagine gaslighting yourself for missing a loved one you lost. :(
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Ive heard of people going so far as to apologize for grieving! They invalidate their need to mourn to avoid being too depressing, or a burden to others. Imagine gaslighting yourself for missing a loved one you lost. :(
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psych2go
Yeah, don't apologize to someone on behalf of him because he crashed into you mistakenly, so don't take any responsibility, it's that who made a mistake who is to blame and who must take responsibility.
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Yeah, don't apologize to someone on behalf of him because he crashed into you mistakenly, so don't take any responsibility, it's that who made a mistake who is to blame and who must take responsibility.
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