How Does The Attachment Theory Affect Your Childhood Life?
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Cecilia
Omg, months ago I was realizing that there's a tendency in me that makes me try to push people to be with me as if they were my family members, but treating me in a better way than my actual family.
For example, my best friend's mom have a similar personality as my real mom, so I'm tried to tell her things that I never told my mom, like boyfriends, and sometimes I even felt like she was more. Maternal. Or my bff's brother, I tried to get close to him in a silent way, without saying anything, just being there while he's just talking or making jokes. And I often try to sleep in my aunt's or bff's house just to feel as If I had brothers that actually talk to me, or if I eat in the same table as them without screaming at each other, or watching movies with that family trying to feel comfortable, because I can't feel well watching tv with my family. But at the same time, I feel really anxious thinking that they hate me to be there, that they just let me be there because I must look miserable, but then I feel down because I remember that I can go home, but I don't feel good there.
And when I had a boyfriend, basically I choose him as a challenge, trying to be with him because he was like the boy I used to like, and I hurt him so much back them with it, I even told him I think I can't like you the same way I liked R a time ago and he just told me it's fine
I even repeated to myself for years that people can be replaceable. And yes, in highschool I looked as the energetic, rebel and sad type at the same time.
And this attachment style described how I am so well, as if it confirmed what I thought someday a while ago.
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Omg, months ago I was realizing that there's a tendency in me that makes me try to push people to be with me as if they were my family members, but treating me in a better way than my actual family.
For example, my best friend's mom have a similar personality as my real mom, so I'm tried to tell her things that I never told my mom, like boyfriends, and sometimes I even felt like she was more. Maternal. Or my bff's brother, I tried to get close to him in a silent way, without saying anything, just being there while he's just talking or making jokes. And I often try to sleep in my aunt's or bff's house just to feel as If I had brothers that actually talk to me, or if I eat in the same table as them without screaming at each other, or watching movies with that family trying to feel comfortable, because I can't feel well watching tv with my family. But at the same time, I feel really anxious thinking that they hate me to be there, that they just let me be there because I must look miserable, but then I feel down because I remember that I can go home, but I don't feel good there.
And when I had a boyfriend, basically I choose him as a challenge, trying to be with him because he was like the boy I used to like, and I hurt him so much back them with it, I even told him I think I can't like you the same way I liked R a time ago and he just told me it's fine
I even repeated to myself for years that people can be replaceable. And yes, in highschool I looked as the energetic, rebel and sad type at the same time.
And this attachment style described how I am so well, as if it confirmed what I thought someday a while ago.
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CoraMendi
I'm the second one, but I was taught to be the second one. Asking my parents or teachers for help would get me berated, punished, insulted. it was made very clear since I was a toddler that other people deserved help (in fact, I was expected to help as much as possible) but I did not.
It took an encounter with an old classmate who claimed the most important thing I'd taught her during my tutoring was to ask for help and that there's no shame on it to remind me that I too have the right to be helped when I find something difficult. Now I'm more of the first type but sometimes I still need to remind myself that yes, I can ask for help. In fact, experience has taught me that most people are happy to be able to help!
Dad was either the first or the second; Mom's definitely the fourth. He wanted me to be self-reliant but overdid it; she was abusive. She's perfectly capable of charming the legs off most chairs but will fly into a rage when she encounters someone who resists; often, the target of the rage is not the strong person (because they're, you know, stronger than she is) but someone else that she perceives as weaker and therefore a good punching bag.
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I'm the second one, but I was taught to be the second one. Asking my parents or teachers for help would get me berated, punished, insulted. it was made very clear since I was a toddler that other people deserved help (in fact, I was expected to help as much as possible) but I did not.
It took an encounter with an old classmate who claimed the most important thing I'd taught her during my tutoring was to ask for help and that there's no shame on it to remind me that I too have the right to be helped when I find something difficult. Now I'm more of the first type but sometimes I still need to remind myself that yes, I can ask for help. In fact, experience has taught me that most people are happy to be able to help!
Dad was either the first or the second; Mom's definitely the fourth. He wanted me to be self-reliant but overdid it; she was abusive. She's perfectly capable of charming the legs off most chairs but will fly into a rage when she encounters someone who resists; often, the target of the rage is not the strong person (because they're, you know, stronger than she is) but someone else that she perceives as weaker and therefore a good punching bag.
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Potatoes
Okay Im a bit confused. Im not very charismatic or secure (I honestly dont know. Im clingy to my parents despite my moms way of trying to seem like she doesnt want affection. I want affection but I try to seem like I dont too. I reject any physical affection from close friends and siblings. I dont have anxiety nor depression. Im usually group leader at school because I have better organization and understanding skills than my peers. Im lenient towards work but know when shit needs to get done. I like drama but not being in it or affecting it so like tv shows. I thought I was C, then B, then back to C then A and then D because that sounds shady and fun but then I decided back to B because I want to be B. Anyone want to take a shot at amateur psycho-analyzing me?
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Okay Im a bit confused. Im not very charismatic or secure (I honestly dont know. Im clingy to my parents despite my moms way of trying to seem like she doesnt want affection. I want affection but I try to seem like I dont too. I reject any physical affection from close friends and siblings. I dont have anxiety nor depression. Im usually group leader at school because I have better organization and understanding skills than my peers. Im lenient towards work but know when shit needs to get done. I like drama but not being in it or affecting it so like tv shows. I thought I was C, then B, then back to C then A and then D because that sounds shady and fun but then I decided back to B because I want to be B. Anyone want to take a shot at amateur psycho-analyzing me?
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Tenderil
as egotistical as this sounds, i feel like i connect to both type A and type B (even though i suffer from complex post traumatic stress disorder, i have gotten proper help)
in a crisis i can either keep my cool and sometimes resolve tension without meaning to
or i walk away and avoid the situation altogether (often because i'm overstimulated and just need to cool down and i prefer to avoid overstimulating situations bc. meltdowns are embarrassing. also i prefer to work with friends only)
my dad seems to be type C tbh
also that's really cool that you can change your attachment style bc i've been feeling super unstable about my identity lately and the idea of permanent characteristics about myself that are not under my control frighten me very much
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as egotistical as this sounds, i feel like i connect to both type A and type B (even though i suffer from complex post traumatic stress disorder, i have gotten proper help)
in a crisis i can either keep my cool and sometimes resolve tension without meaning to
or i walk away and avoid the situation altogether (often because i'm overstimulated and just need to cool down and i prefer to avoid overstimulating situations bc. meltdowns are embarrassing. also i prefer to work with friends only)
my dad seems to be type C tbh
also that's really cool that you can change your attachment style bc i've been feeling super unstable about my identity lately and the idea of permanent characteristics about myself that are not under my control frighten me very much
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Suzanne
Hi! Thanks for the video. I'd love a video about how to manage your attachment style. I think my childhood created a mostly type A, with a little bit of C, but I have been working a lot on adjusting my attachment style to more secure and this video really helped me appreciate and measure my progress. So thanks a bunch! Keep up the good work. And I love love love the animation. so cute and easy to connect to deeply good work Nayeli! and everyone
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Hi! Thanks for the video. I'd love a video about how to manage your attachment style. I think my childhood created a mostly type A, with a little bit of C, but I have been working a lot on adjusting my attachment style to more secure and this video really helped me appreciate and measure my progress. So thanks a bunch! Keep up the good work. And I love love love the animation. so cute and easy to connect to deeply good work Nayeli! and everyone
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Nickolas
whoever created these categories may be missing something. I share some traits with all these categories. I cannot say that I definitely am or am not any of these categories. I challenge anyone to try to fit me in one of these 'boxes' without checking to see if I might fit in the others as well. People are far too complex to suggest you can create a limited variety of types.
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whoever created these categories may be missing something. I share some traits with all these categories. I cannot say that I definitely am or am not any of these categories. I challenge anyone to try to fit me in one of these 'boxes' without checking to see if I might fit in the others as well. People are far too complex to suggest you can create a limited variety of types.
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Myra
Thank you so much for this information, I need this very much. Please make a video about how to undo or rewire one's attachment issues. I think I'm the insecure-avoidant one. It's so difficult for me to go deep emotionally with anyone around me. I have issues with intimacy and expressing my emotions and feelings. I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Thank you so much for this information, I need this very much. Please make a video about how to undo or rewire one's attachment issues. I think I'm the insecure-avoidant one. It's so difficult for me to go deep emotionally with anyone around me. I have issues with intimacy and expressing my emotions and feelings. I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Necron3145
Honestly watching these kinds of videos just makes me feel like I got the short end of a stick. I didn't have a say in how I was raised. my parents did. I don't think it's very healthy to think that something I didn't have control over determines my entire destiny.
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Honestly watching these kinds of videos just makes me feel like I got the short end of a stick. I didn't have a say in how I was raised. my parents did. I don't think it's very healthy to think that something I didn't have control over determines my entire destiny.
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Vengeful
so. for example.
my mom doesn't know who she is.
she is too nice. too giving.
and smothered us. cause she grew up with a narcissist mom, and distant weak dad.
so. that anxiety. that shes not even aware she has. could have messed me up?
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so. for example.
my mom doesn't know who she is.
she is too nice. too giving.
and smothered us. cause she grew up with a narcissist mom, and distant weak dad.
so. that anxiety. that shes not even aware she has. could have messed me up?
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Kasey
I'm type 2 with a hint of 1. I try to explain how I feel but I tend to keep a lot in because I feel like 99. 9% of people don't really care. And depending on the situation or subject, I can be very outspoken and involved. it just depends.
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I'm type 2 with a hint of 1. I try to explain how I feel but I tend to keep a lot in because I feel like 99. 9% of people don't really care. And depending on the situation or subject, I can be very outspoken and involved. it just depends.
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Kyle
Used to be type A (avoidant) worked on my EQ with a close friend (is a counselor) sorted a lot of past trauma out, better practices of self love and am now much more in line with the Secure Type B. Pretty proud of the turn around ngl: )
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Used to be type A (avoidant) worked on my EQ with a close friend (is a counselor) sorted a lot of past trauma out, better practices of self love and am now much more in line with the Secure Type B. Pretty proud of the turn around ngl: )
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Bilwa
Can disorganised attachment style people change them foe better if how and hoe they can become better like in secure attachment style b any solutions for that pls reply help me pls so I can become better person pllssss let me know
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Can disorganised attachment style people change them foe better if how and hoe they can become better like in secure attachment style b any solutions for that pls reply help me pls so I can become better person pllssss let me know
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Mary
Why is the first one called type B?
I seem to relate to type C, except im really avoidant in a crisis. er, actually, i dont avoid it so i can fix it, i avoid it and run and never look back at it. not sure which one that fits
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Why is the first one called type B?
I seem to relate to type C, except im really avoidant in a crisis. er, actually, i dont avoid it so i can fix it, i avoid it and run and never look back at it. not sure which one that fits
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Jondabron
I was type c until late high school where I became type a. And now years later I am closer to type b than anything else, I think this is likely due to experience with relationships and life in general.
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I was type c until late high school where I became type a. And now years later I am closer to type b than anything else, I think this is likely due to experience with relationships and life in general.
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Colleen
I feel like I fall under Type 3 but when I was younger I was Type 1. I would like to get back to being a Type 1. Type 3 seems like the most healthy and confident in a lot of ways.
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I feel like I fall under Type 3 but when I was younger I was Type 1. I would like to get back to being a Type 1. Type 3 seems like the most healthy and confident in a lot of ways.
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Fiona
Which one of these is the very enthusiastic about friendship/relationship until the other starts projecting an equal amount of interest and then I freak out and get cold one?
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Which one of these is the very enthusiastic about friendship/relationship until the other starts projecting an equal amount of interest and then I freak out and get cold one?
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Aaliyah
I genuinely have went through phases of each of these styles throughout my life. Im bipolar and bounce between being the secure style and insecure avoidant style
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I genuinely have went through phases of each of these styles throughout my life. Im bipolar and bounce between being the secure style and insecure avoidant style
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Juli
Am I the only one who has no idea what type I am? I know people that very clearly fit each style but I can't relate to a lot of this? kinda confusing me tbh
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Am I the only one who has no idea what type I am? I know people that very clearly fit each style but I can't relate to a lot of this? kinda confusing me tbh
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Heba
Amy and Kelly it is a nice made Video, but what if I fulfilled the 1 type and had some more of the another one? what type does that make me? plz let me know
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Amy and Kelly it is a nice made Video, but what if I fulfilled the 1 type and had some more of the another one? what type does that make me? plz let me know
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Scorpio
Im a bit of both type2 and type3 this explains my relationship issues and why Im the first to drop the other person even in friends it gets lonely
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Im a bit of both type2 and type3 this explains my relationship issues and why Im the first to drop the other person even in friends it gets lonely
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education
Having an attachment disorder is like playing life on the hardest level. Meanwhile people with secure attachment on normal or easy mode.
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Having an attachment disorder is like playing life on the hardest level. Meanwhile people with secure attachment on normal or easy mode.
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SK007
I worked with a type C. I left the job because of her. Also, it came of as blatantly racist as I wrote her off as another Amy Cooper.
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I worked with a type C. I left the job because of her. Also, it came of as blatantly racist as I wrote her off as another Amy Cooper.
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Lao
I know this is just someones perception of people. Maybe I have more than personality but different traits from all four relate to me.
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I know this is just someones perception of people. Maybe I have more than personality but different traits from all four relate to me.
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Bailey
I am somewhere between Insecure Avoidant and Disorganised - I have BPD and PTSD and am constantly on the verge of a 'meltdown'.
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I am somewhere between Insecure Avoidant and Disorganised - I have BPD and PTSD and am constantly on the verge of a 'meltdown'.
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Ibtisam
0: 20 Not how YOU bond with your parents, but how your parents bond with you. You act as the way your parents taught you to.
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0: 20 Not how YOU bond with your parents, but how your parents bond with you. You act as the way your parents taught you to.
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