7 Things NOT To Say To Someone with Anxiety
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Date: 2024-01-14
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Comments and reviews: 19
astraamarante6233
7 Responses from an Anxiety Riddled Person who also happens to have a Short Temper
(family friendly because I don't want to intrude on the creators' wishes)
1. "It's all in your head. " - NO DUH, SHERLOCK. DO YOU _REALLY_ THINK I WOULDN'T CALM DOWN IF I HAD THE ABILITY
2. "You're getting anxious over nothing. " - I KNOOOOOWWWW BUT ALSO NOT TRUE, YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
3. "Everything is going to be fine. " - Oh yeah Yeah Really Maybe for YOU, YOUR life is great, great! Don't tell ME what I'M going through and how MY life is happening! MAYBE MY PARENT JUST FREAKING DIED, you don't get to tell me I'm fine!
4. "Stop acting like that! IT'S WEIRD. " - _YOU'RE_ WEIRD. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO YOU AND STRUGGLING WITH AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW THE WORLD IS ENDING AND YOU'RE HERE WORRIED ABOUT HOW I LOOK TO SOCIETY You're probably obsessed with your image and spend $100s just to try to impress people you don't know!
5. "Oh, here we go again. " - You dare say that again and I'll turn you into my therapist, maybe THEN you'll stop treating my feelings as such an insignificance once you realize how much I'm holding back.
6. "I know exactly how you feel. " - You don't got a compass to my brain, jerk, NO you DON'T. Where were those mind powers when I was hungry 3 hours ago
7. "Is it me Did I do something wrong" - No, Carla, you're fine. Stop trying to make sure you didn't do anything to upset me and maybe help out because just making sure that you have nothing to be sorry for doesn't aid me in the slightest.
What to do: . Just don't freaking dismiss it or try to understand without consulting the person. Ask the person how they feel and what they're going through and don't make fun of them, that easy. For a lot of people with anxiety, just letting someone know how they're doing and their thought process can help a LOT (even if it doesn't make it go away completely.
P. S. /Side note: One of my favorite videos is a bit with a guy sitting on stairs wrapped in a blanket.
1: C'mon, why can't you just stop being depressed There's so much happiness in the world!
2: IDK ALEX, WHY DO YOU HAVE ASTHMA, THERE'S SO MUCH _AIR_ IN THE WORLD!
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7 Responses from an Anxiety Riddled Person who also happens to have a Short Temper
(family friendly because I don't want to intrude on the creators' wishes)
1. "It's all in your head. " - NO DUH, SHERLOCK. DO YOU _REALLY_ THINK I WOULDN'T CALM DOWN IF I HAD THE ABILITY
2. "You're getting anxious over nothing. " - I KNOOOOOWWWW BUT ALSO NOT TRUE, YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
3. "Everything is going to be fine. " - Oh yeah Yeah Really Maybe for YOU, YOUR life is great, great! Don't tell ME what I'M going through and how MY life is happening! MAYBE MY PARENT JUST FREAKING DIED, you don't get to tell me I'm fine!
4. "Stop acting like that! IT'S WEIRD. " - _YOU'RE_ WEIRD. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO YOU AND STRUGGLING WITH AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE ABOUT HOW THE WORLD IS ENDING AND YOU'RE HERE WORRIED ABOUT HOW I LOOK TO SOCIETY You're probably obsessed with your image and spend $100s just to try to impress people you don't know!
5. "Oh, here we go again. " - You dare say that again and I'll turn you into my therapist, maybe THEN you'll stop treating my feelings as such an insignificance once you realize how much I'm holding back.
6. "I know exactly how you feel. " - You don't got a compass to my brain, jerk, NO you DON'T. Where were those mind powers when I was hungry 3 hours ago
7. "Is it me Did I do something wrong" - No, Carla, you're fine. Stop trying to make sure you didn't do anything to upset me and maybe help out because just making sure that you have nothing to be sorry for doesn't aid me in the slightest.
What to do: . Just don't freaking dismiss it or try to understand without consulting the person. Ask the person how they feel and what they're going through and don't make fun of them, that easy. For a lot of people with anxiety, just letting someone know how they're doing and their thought process can help a LOT (even if it doesn't make it go away completely.
P. S. /Side note: One of my favorite videos is a bit with a guy sitting on stairs wrapped in a blanket.
1: C'mon, why can't you just stop being depressed There's so much happiness in the world!
2: IDK ALEX, WHY DO YOU HAVE ASTHMA, THERE'S SO MUCH _AIR_ IN THE WORLD!
reply
psych2go
Is it ok if I trauma dump over here Thanks. Anyway, I have anxiety since 2023. 97% of it is because of terrible social life and 3% family. I'm the oldest child and get blamed for everything even if I didn't do it. I also suffer from way other mental illnesses other than anxiety, but anxiety takes the most control over me. I tried talking to my parents about it, but they repetitively told me that I'll be fine and that I don't actually have anxiety. Also, I have betrayal trauma, don't have pretty privilege, very insecure, etc. I really thought 2024 was my year, but from what I can tell, it's way worse than 2023. I need a therapist because my emotional state isn't the best, but I don't know where to go and who I can trust to talk to. One last question, though (if that's ok with you, am I emotional because of anxiety and the large amount of mental illnesses I have or is it because my astrological sign is a water sign (not on the cusp of an air sign) Thank you.
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Is it ok if I trauma dump over here Thanks. Anyway, I have anxiety since 2023. 97% of it is because of terrible social life and 3% family. I'm the oldest child and get blamed for everything even if I didn't do it. I also suffer from way other mental illnesses other than anxiety, but anxiety takes the most control over me. I tried talking to my parents about it, but they repetitively told me that I'll be fine and that I don't actually have anxiety. Also, I have betrayal trauma, don't have pretty privilege, very insecure, etc. I really thought 2024 was my year, but from what I can tell, it's way worse than 2023. I need a therapist because my emotional state isn't the best, but I don't know where to go and who I can trust to talk to. One last question, though (if that's ok with you, am I emotional because of anxiety and the large amount of mental illnesses I have or is it because my astrological sign is a water sign (not on the cusp of an air sign) Thank you.
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wicdavid
The first one: it's all in your head. ..
No matter the mental illness, yeah! It's a mental illness! Where do you think it's going to be My little toe!
I have spent many years with a long list of mental issues, including anxiety, and I have heard that said to me so many times that I have to try to not yell at the people who say it to me now. And, yes, I still have people say it to me. It does not help at all and only ends up making matters worse when they are likely saying it to me when I am having an already horrible day/time.
It is hard to see things from the point of view on either side of it. Those who never have had to face it themselves can not fully understand how it is for someone born with a mental illness. We ca only try to communicate but when someone is having a mental issue, it is sometimes impossible to do anything other than try to cope with each second much less try to do anything else at all.
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The first one: it's all in your head. ..
No matter the mental illness, yeah! It's a mental illness! Where do you think it's going to be My little toe!
I have spent many years with a long list of mental issues, including anxiety, and I have heard that said to me so many times that I have to try to not yell at the people who say it to me now. And, yes, I still have people say it to me. It does not help at all and only ends up making matters worse when they are likely saying it to me when I am having an already horrible day/time.
It is hard to see things from the point of view on either side of it. Those who never have had to face it themselves can not fully understand how it is for someone born with a mental illness. We ca only try to communicate but when someone is having a mental issue, it is sometimes impossible to do anything other than try to cope with each second much less try to do anything else at all.
reply
tabithashipley9605
I suffer with severe anxiety. I nearly had an anxiety attack yesterday when I was signing the lease to my first apartment. I was so stressed and scared, and I don't even know why. I was just signing some papers. Why was I anxious because of that
Phrases I dislike with a passion are:
"It'll be okay. " I hear this one so often, and it just doesn't help. It feels like you're trying to stop the anxiety just be telling me that everything isn't that bad.
"I understand. " No you don't. Even if you suffer with severe anxiety, you don't know exactly what I'm going through. Yes, you may somewhat understand how I'm feeling since you feel similar things yourself at times, but the way I feel it is different from the way you feel it because I'm going through something differen than you.
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I suffer with severe anxiety. I nearly had an anxiety attack yesterday when I was signing the lease to my first apartment. I was so stressed and scared, and I don't even know why. I was just signing some papers. Why was I anxious because of that
Phrases I dislike with a passion are:
"It'll be okay. " I hear this one so often, and it just doesn't help. It feels like you're trying to stop the anxiety just be telling me that everything isn't that bad.
"I understand. " No you don't. Even if you suffer with severe anxiety, you don't know exactly what I'm going through. Yes, you may somewhat understand how I'm feeling since you feel similar things yourself at times, but the way I feel it is different from the way you feel it because I'm going through something differen than you.
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CaitiffFTW
So, what do I say to a schizophrenic person who consistently attacks me, based on them hallucinating that I or someone else has insulted him
Im legitimately asking. My nephew is schizophrenic, and believes that everyone has insisted upon his self-deletion. (Algorithm Term in use)
For this, and various other reasons, most of which revilve around my not sharing his religious views and having insisted that he stop forcing them upon me, he has cut me out of his life a do, en times over the last decade, only to come back as though nothing happened, within a month.
Legitimately, at what point is "get and stay out of my life" a valid response Or, do I just need to suck it up (For context, I'm in my mid 40s and hes in his early 30s)
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So, what do I say to a schizophrenic person who consistently attacks me, based on them hallucinating that I or someone else has insulted him
Im legitimately asking. My nephew is schizophrenic, and believes that everyone has insisted upon his self-deletion. (Algorithm Term in use)
For this, and various other reasons, most of which revilve around my not sharing his religious views and having insisted that he stop forcing them upon me, he has cut me out of his life a do, en times over the last decade, only to come back as though nothing happened, within a month.
Legitimately, at what point is "get and stay out of my life" a valid response Or, do I just need to suck it up (For context, I'm in my mid 40s and hes in his early 30s)
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strangeflamingo326
I compare anxiety to having a fear of heights. I know that it is irrational and that I am in a structure that is solidly built, but I just react. Anxiety is not something you can control all the time sometimes anxiety just is and it has nothing to do with what others are doing. The best way to support someone with anxiety is just like when you support someone at a funeral who is grieving. You just need to be there and show your support. Some with anxiety are more aware of what they need and will let you know. Others you can gently ask, Is there anything I can do to help Many times we make it way too complicated because we don’t think that supporting someone could be that easy.
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I compare anxiety to having a fear of heights. I know that it is irrational and that I am in a structure that is solidly built, but I just react. Anxiety is not something you can control all the time sometimes anxiety just is and it has nothing to do with what others are doing. The best way to support someone with anxiety is just like when you support someone at a funeral who is grieving. You just need to be there and show your support. Some with anxiety are more aware of what they need and will let you know. Others you can gently ask, Is there anything I can do to help Many times we make it way too complicated because we don’t think that supporting someone could be that easy.
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psych2go
sometimes I stay away from friends or people that I know to try and deal with anxiety before going back to them.
They are very friendly and helpful, actually, but I overthink things that shouldn't be there in my head, and the image i got from people gets blurried and convoluted. I need time to readjust before I talk to them again, because I don't want them to think I'm dumping my problems on them.
I also think that I burden people very often by being the normal, quiet me, since I can't keep up with conversations, and often can't answer when I should. It's like I got every opportunity to talk to them, but I am never able to speak without interrupting them.
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sometimes I stay away from friends or people that I know to try and deal with anxiety before going back to them.
They are very friendly and helpful, actually, but I overthink things that shouldn't be there in my head, and the image i got from people gets blurried and convoluted. I need time to readjust before I talk to them again, because I don't want them to think I'm dumping my problems on them.
I also think that I burden people very often by being the normal, quiet me, since I can't keep up with conversations, and often can't answer when I should. It's like I got every opportunity to talk to them, but I am never able to speak without interrupting them.
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JL15545
As someone who has been struggling with anxiety for a very long time I’ve heard it countless times from people saying that it’s all in my head. This is why it’s so hard for me to talk about anxiety with anyone because most people I know haven’t gone through it before and so they have all these inaccurate perceptions. They tend to have this misconception that anxiety is nothing more than just being nervous at the moment which in reality is something much more than that. So if they tell me again It’s all in your head.
Then why is it in my head and why can’t I get it out and why is it taking over my whole body
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As someone who has been struggling with anxiety for a very long time I’ve heard it countless times from people saying that it’s all in my head. This is why it’s so hard for me to talk about anxiety with anyone because most people I know haven’t gone through it before and so they have all these inaccurate perceptions. They tend to have this misconception that anxiety is nothing more than just being nervous at the moment which in reality is something much more than that. So if they tell me again It’s all in your head.
Then why is it in my head and why can’t I get it out and why is it taking over my whole body
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psych2go
I’ve been told to just not get anxious about every little thing, it’s all in my head, and one person even put a deadline on when I would get over my anxiety and not have it anymore.
Anxiety just doesn’t disappear and we know it’s in our heads, but that doesn’t mean we can just switch it off like a light. It takes time, making small steps, celebrating every victory, and over time things gradually get easier. There’s no deadline on this and it may never go away. We make progress where we can and adapt where we have to.
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I’ve been told to just not get anxious about every little thing, it’s all in my head, and one person even put a deadline on when I would get over my anxiety and not have it anymore.
Anxiety just doesn’t disappear and we know it’s in our heads, but that doesn’t mean we can just switch it off like a light. It takes time, making small steps, celebrating every victory, and over time things gradually get easier. There’s no deadline on this and it may never go away. We make progress where we can and adapt where we have to.
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psych2go
As a autistic individual I have been suffering with tons and tons of anxiety it makes me take my anger out on everyone I love and everyone I care about it’s not like I do it on purpose it’s what what I’m born with and I often struggle on my school work with my high mental health and anxiety it hurts me deeply it hurts my mental health and my well beings I can’t control my emotions and my anxiety it’s what I was born with my life is hard and I often struggle with anxiety and depression it’s hard to get over my anxiety: (
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As a autistic individual I have been suffering with tons and tons of anxiety it makes me take my anger out on everyone I love and everyone I care about it’s not like I do it on purpose it’s what what I’m born with and I often struggle on my school work with my high mental health and anxiety it hurts me deeply it hurts my mental health and my well beings I can’t control my emotions and my anxiety it’s what I was born with my life is hard and I often struggle with anxiety and depression it’s hard to get over my anxiety: (
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d-padqueen1103
Some things you could say instead, preferably in calm understanding tones:
- Are you OK (obviously they aren't, but it's a line which can help them know you're open to listening to them)
- What would you like to do
- How can I help you/is there anything I could do that would help
- Is there anything you need
- I'm right here as long as you need me
- Do you want to go somewhere else (for someone that doesn't like crowds, noise, smells etc or needs privacy) or "let's go >insert calmer more private space
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Some things you could say instead, preferably in calm understanding tones:
- Are you OK (obviously they aren't, but it's a line which can help them know you're open to listening to them)
- What would you like to do
- How can I help you/is there anything I could do that would help
- Is there anything you need
- I'm right here as long as you need me
- Do you want to go somewhere else (for someone that doesn't like crowds, noise, smells etc or needs privacy) or "let's go >insert calmer more private space
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psych2go
As person who suffers from anxiety as well, I hated it when people constantly say you’re getting anxious over nothing and calm down and the worse part, they force me to get over it. Do they not understand that it’s not even my fault that I have this, and not only what they said is very toxic, but it’s so degrading, very hurtful and not to mention, absolutely disrespectful. People who seemed to think that saying these things would help, but in reality, it’s very harmful and abusive.
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As person who suffers from anxiety as well, I hated it when people constantly say you’re getting anxious over nothing and calm down and the worse part, they force me to get over it. Do they not understand that it’s not even my fault that I have this, and not only what they said is very toxic, but it’s so degrading, very hurtful and not to mention, absolutely disrespectful. People who seemed to think that saying these things would help, but in reality, it’s very harmful and abusive.
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TeddyBearGirl333
As a young individual I have anxiety and depression. It has been really hard I was diagnosed when I was 10 it has been really hard like I said before. Lots of sadness and feeling like I don’t belong on the planet. And people say rude things and have no idea what I go though or other people. I wish more people under stand and what really makes me up set when people are teasing, people with autism and it is not that persons fault with autism at my school.
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As a young individual I have anxiety and depression. It has been really hard I was diagnosed when I was 10 it has been really hard like I said before. Lots of sadness and feeling like I don’t belong on the planet. And people say rude things and have no idea what I go though or other people. I wish more people under stand and what really makes me up set when people are teasing, people with autism and it is not that persons fault with autism at my school.
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Mytherious
Yeah, this felt really relatable. On occasion I get trapped into a doom-pattern of thoughts, and when people then say things like "calm down", "you are imagining things", "It is though for everyone, the world is not against you" are not helpful.
But the one sentence that has hurt the most, is when I am in a good mood and finally socializing a bit, there is always someone that makes a joke at how easy I panic over trivial stuff.
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Yeah, this felt really relatable. On occasion I get trapped into a doom-pattern of thoughts, and when people then say things like "calm down", "you are imagining things", "It is though for everyone, the world is not against you" are not helpful.
But the one sentence that has hurt the most, is when I am in a good mood and finally socializing a bit, there is always someone that makes a joke at how easy I panic over trivial stuff.
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Hirashi679_
man watching this made me see things in a different perspective on certain situations.
i had most of these told me in my face an i genuinely don't like those phrases when i go through anxiety or panic attack. i rather have someone tell me sort of the right words of reassurance to make sure i feel alright like with emotional support.
it hurts when i said earlier that "everything will be alright" when knowingly it won't be.
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man watching this made me see things in a different perspective on certain situations.
i had most of these told me in my face an i genuinely don't like those phrases when i go through anxiety or panic attack. i rather have someone tell me sort of the right words of reassurance to make sure i feel alright like with emotional support.
it hurts when i said earlier that "everything will be alright" when knowingly it won't be.
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tiffanygray
I definitely agree with most of these! However, for me personally, it actually is comforting when somebody tells me that everything will be okay. But I guess it's in their tone of voice. If they say it in a warm and loving and soothing manner, it is comforting and helpful. However, if they say it in an exasperated tone, like they're trying to tell me to calm down, no, it doesn't help at all. But that's just me.
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I definitely agree with most of these! However, for me personally, it actually is comforting when somebody tells me that everything will be okay. But I guess it's in their tone of voice. If they say it in a warm and loving and soothing manner, it is comforting and helpful. However, if they say it in an exasperated tone, like they're trying to tell me to calm down, no, it doesn't help at all. But that's just me.
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S-link999
Anxiety is something that you do not know what it is like unless you have it.
At grade 5 i am diagnosed with anxiety, and started to get perscribed with zoloft
When you have a narcassistic control freak as your father, anxiety is only one of the things that you experience when you are with them your entire childhood, and yes, he says some of the things mentioned in the video
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Anxiety is something that you do not know what it is like unless you have it.
At grade 5 i am diagnosed with anxiety, and started to get perscribed with zoloft
When you have a narcassistic control freak as your father, anxiety is only one of the things that you experience when you are with them your entire childhood, and yes, he says some of the things mentioned in the video
reply
gw_m2oo665
When I was in a depressive AND anxious era I used to listen things like "You should do something, like exercise or find a hobby" and it just made me overthink more and more because I just COULDN'T go out of my anxious feelings and also depressive moment, it makes me tense with just think about those words. Gladly I found psychologial help and I'm getting better
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When I was in a depressive AND anxious era I used to listen things like "You should do something, like exercise or find a hobby" and it just made me overthink more and more because I just COULDN'T go out of my anxious feelings and also depressive moment, it makes me tense with just think about those words. Gladly I found psychologial help and I'm getting better
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neofulcrum5013
1)Take a few deep breath
2)Everything will be alright,
3)if you need some air take it
4)Is there anything I can do to help
5)Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place
These are some of the things I’ve learned help to calm someone. A few of these even helped me as I battle anxiety. It’s a lot better now but not completely gone.
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1)Take a few deep breath
2)Everything will be alright,
3)if you need some air take it
4)Is there anything I can do to help
5)Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place
These are some of the things I’ve learned help to calm someone. A few of these even helped me as I battle anxiety. It’s a lot better now but not completely gone.
reply
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