4 things all great listeners know
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Date: 2022-11-21
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Comments and reviews: 12
Brhett
I've been told I'm a good listener and for a long time I didn't really know what I was doing to get those core memory compliments. I think the most important part of what Ted-Ed is saying in this, is that you have to SHOW it. That doesn't mean you have to be bubbly supportive no matter what. I means you take in the information and genuinely think about it. It was always kinda just auto pilot for me, but when I heard them say it, I realized. Its not smiling and nodding. Its hearing the emotion and understanding when somebody is upset, angry, frustrated and then trying to harness those emotions to let them see their faults, or to let them see their clarity. Being a good listener is honestly something I don't think everybody should become, or want to become. Its taxing, and it has led to me having some flourishing 15 year friendships, but it has also led to some heartbreak and self loathing that I don't feel qualified to tell anybody because I'm the anchor for so many.
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I've been told I'm a good listener and for a long time I didn't really know what I was doing to get those core memory compliments. I think the most important part of what Ted-Ed is saying in this, is that you have to SHOW it. That doesn't mean you have to be bubbly supportive no matter what. I means you take in the information and genuinely think about it. It was always kinda just auto pilot for me, but when I heard them say it, I realized. Its not smiling and nodding. Its hearing the emotion and understanding when somebody is upset, angry, frustrated and then trying to harness those emotions to let them see their faults, or to let them see their clarity. Being a good listener is honestly something I don't think everybody should become, or want to become. Its taxing, and it has led to me having some flourishing 15 year friendships, but it has also led to some heartbreak and self loathing that I don't feel qualified to tell anybody because I'm the anchor for so many.
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Evan
One strategy for making a silence less awkward is to repeat back what they said in summary in a ponderous tone like I can't believe they would. Or you can simply say that sounds like a lot to think about.
Both are subtle hints that you are listening and are formulating a good and thoughtful response.
A good response that allows you to share your thoughts without making it seem like you're trying to change someone's mind is asking a hypothetical like what would you think if ____ had happened instead? This way you allow them to form their own opinion which could help them understand what you're thinking.
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One strategy for making a silence less awkward is to repeat back what they said in summary in a ponderous tone like I can't believe they would. Or you can simply say that sounds like a lot to think about.
Both are subtle hints that you are listening and are formulating a good and thoughtful response.
A good response that allows you to share your thoughts without making it seem like you're trying to change someone's mind is asking a hypothetical like what would you think if ____ had happened instead? This way you allow them to form their own opinion which could help them understand what you're thinking.
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JOSH
I have ADD. I have always been called out for not listening but have heard every word. Once Mother Superior made fun of me in class for not listening. I was so scared, but I suddenly stood my whole little self up and repeated every word she said including the part where she made fun of me. I got detention. If you have a medical problem that people don't except, what can you do?
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I have ADD. I have always been called out for not listening but have heard every word. Once Mother Superior made fun of me in class for not listening. I was so scared, but I suddenly stood my whole little self up and repeated every word she said including the part where she made fun of me. I got detention. If you have a medical problem that people don't except, what can you do?
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RocheSSBM
What I do to show people that I'm listening carefully to what they are saying is making a small comment about the topic, not just nodding or sayin impressive, say something empathic that involves him and the subject he is talking to you, like your work must be very hard or I would have done the same.
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What I do to show people that I'm listening carefully to what they are saying is making a small comment about the topic, not just nodding or sayin impressive, say something empathic that involves him and the subject he is talking to you, like your work must be very hard or I would have done the same.
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Bl
Utterly, i think of it as more of an anxiety issue.
Paying attention, remembering details and branching out a conversation is easy but how about treating filtering your potential answers to a potential question caused by anxiety?
Treating the cause is extremely complicated
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Utterly, i think of it as more of an anxiety issue.
Paying attention, remembering details and branching out a conversation is easy but how about treating filtering your potential answers to a potential question caused by anxiety?
Treating the cause is extremely complicated
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COSMIC
So if it is understood that the theory of psychological reactants suggests that trying to force someone to change their mind will only reinforce what they already believe and think, then why would anyone think that Vaccine and mask mandates are a good idea?
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So if it is understood that the theory of psychological reactants suggests that trying to force someone to change their mind will only reinforce what they already believe and think, then why would anyone think that Vaccine and mask mandates are a good idea?
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education
It's very important to determine if someone is looking for advice vs emotional support. People constantly seeking validation can be off-putting to a critical thinker looking to actually help and vice versa.
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It's very important to determine if someone is looking for advice vs emotional support. People constantly seeking validation can be off-putting to a critical thinker looking to actually help and vice versa.
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David
The power of deeply listening to another person, with full attention, and without judgment or an agenda, is one of the most profoundly healing acts a person can gift to another. Jennifer Brandel
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The power of deeply listening to another person, with full attention, and without judgment or an agenda, is one of the most profoundly healing acts a person can gift to another. Jennifer Brandel
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KMRose
Watching this so i can up my game of pretending to be neurotypical around NT ppl so they dont get angry at me for not listening when i actually am i just show it in a different way.
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Watching this so i can up my game of pretending to be neurotypical around NT ppl so they dont get angry at me for not listening when i actually am i just show it in a different way.
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Shrii
Wish people had better patience of listening than judging and jumping to the conclusions without knowing anything. then the world would've been a little better place to live in!
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Wish people had better patience of listening than judging and jumping to the conclusions without knowing anything. then the world would've been a little better place to live in!
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Noorullah
Women speak their mind in a complex way. Thus, makes listening important.
That's why female elephant was talking in animation.
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Women speak their mind in a complex way. Thus, makes listening important.
That's why female elephant was talking in animation.
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OBVV! 7
No, I just dont think I m interesting so I let the other person talk a lot and inevitably end up listening to a lot of it
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No, I just dont think I m interesting so I let the other person talk a lot and inevitably end up listening to a lot of it
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