My boyfriend does not have a 'disability fetish' - love don't judge
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Date: 2023-09-12
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Comments and reviews: 30
CCatarina
I met a man online who also had SMA. We were both well into our 40's and I had three teen daughters from my previous marriage. We met on a website for people with disabilities and with fibro and artrosis being some of mine, it was impossible for me to care for him. He was still living with his parents at that time and we connected so well as we happened to both be in an additional teachers' course. With me having been a secretary in a previous life and him being an ICT'er, we managed to help each other with school work. The problem was that he was completely paralyzed and could only move two fingers with which he controlled his computers, his wheel chair and his phone. However, he needed help for everything. If his head fell forward, he couldn't lift it back up. He needed somebody to help him drink with a straw. He needed somebody to use this machine to suck the slime out of his throat. Every physical thing I did to help him, ended up hurting my back because the wheelchair made it impossible for me to stand any closer and I had to lean forward all the time. I tried to look up all kinds of things that might help, such as an automatic suction device so that he could be alone for more than half an hour. There was talk about a robotic arm tied to his wheelchair so that he could learn to operate that to drink by himself. He refused to have a table in front of him because that made him look -mentally disabled- he said, but it would have been something very helpful. For over a year I honestly looked up everything I could find that might make him a bit more independent because I really liked him a lot and I wanted us to evolve into more than the friendship we had. We could talk for hours on end. We even looked for a new wheelchair so that he could come into my apartment and the company came to test it. In the end it all fell apart because I had the feeling that nothing I did to help him be more independent was actually happening. There was always some reason why everything was stalling. He later admitted that he was like that, he wasn't one to take action even if it meant that it could help him. I needed him to be a bit more independent because I wanted to be his friend and lover, not his caretaker. My own body could not cope with it.
I'm telling this story because I am the man in the above story. I can completely understand that he fell in love with her and she with him and that her disability did not matter. I watched him pick her up from her wheelchair. That is something I could not have done. She's still more independent and the best advise I can give her, basically coming directly from my friend is: keep moving! While he was in college he could still write but after college he didn't do that much anymore and he lost his mobility - according to him - simply because he stopped using those muscles altogether and they thus rapidly deteriorated. Don't let that happen to you!
Other than that, I am sure you'll work it out together and maybe you will need extra care, so what? So many physically abled women also need help and they either get it from the baby's grandparents, or from a sibling of the parents or even from professional care. I've had help myself even though at that moment I was physically more or less still able to do everything. One thing is for sure: this child will be loved to bits!
You go for it! You'll do great! Both of you. And the dog.
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I met a man online who also had SMA. We were both well into our 40's and I had three teen daughters from my previous marriage. We met on a website for people with disabilities and with fibro and artrosis being some of mine, it was impossible for me to care for him. He was still living with his parents at that time and we connected so well as we happened to both be in an additional teachers' course. With me having been a secretary in a previous life and him being an ICT'er, we managed to help each other with school work. The problem was that he was completely paralyzed and could only move two fingers with which he controlled his computers, his wheel chair and his phone. However, he needed help for everything. If his head fell forward, he couldn't lift it back up. He needed somebody to help him drink with a straw. He needed somebody to use this machine to suck the slime out of his throat. Every physical thing I did to help him, ended up hurting my back because the wheelchair made it impossible for me to stand any closer and I had to lean forward all the time. I tried to look up all kinds of things that might help, such as an automatic suction device so that he could be alone for more than half an hour. There was talk about a robotic arm tied to his wheelchair so that he could learn to operate that to drink by himself. He refused to have a table in front of him because that made him look -mentally disabled- he said, but it would have been something very helpful. For over a year I honestly looked up everything I could find that might make him a bit more independent because I really liked him a lot and I wanted us to evolve into more than the friendship we had. We could talk for hours on end. We even looked for a new wheelchair so that he could come into my apartment and the company came to test it. In the end it all fell apart because I had the feeling that nothing I did to help him be more independent was actually happening. There was always some reason why everything was stalling. He later admitted that he was like that, he wasn't one to take action even if it meant that it could help him. I needed him to be a bit more independent because I wanted to be his friend and lover, not his caretaker. My own body could not cope with it.
I'm telling this story because I am the man in the above story. I can completely understand that he fell in love with her and she with him and that her disability did not matter. I watched him pick her up from her wheelchair. That is something I could not have done. She's still more independent and the best advise I can give her, basically coming directly from my friend is: keep moving! While he was in college he could still write but after college he didn't do that much anymore and he lost his mobility - according to him - simply because he stopped using those muscles altogether and they thus rapidly deteriorated. Don't let that happen to you!
Other than that, I am sure you'll work it out together and maybe you will need extra care, so what? So many physically abled women also need help and they either get it from the baby's grandparents, or from a sibling of the parents or even from professional care. I've had help myself even though at that moment I was physically more or less still able to do everything. One thing is for sure: this child will be loved to bits!
You go for it! You'll do great! Both of you. And the dog.
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brokenbrainwarrior
If my partner's family didn't accept that I have tourette syndrome. I have seizures. I have fake spells because of my pots that I have seizures that are uncontrollable and I don't know why they happen. I have a lot of anxiety so you know I don't ever ask for much. I just asked for my partner to be there when I'm seizing because it's very very scary seizing alone THAT'S ALL I ASK I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH So if my partner's family ever didn't like me. I'll be like well let me tell you something. It's not easy living this way and you have no idea how hard it is. I would love for you to live in my shoes. Live in my body You would want out in a minute because it's that tough to live inside and I would tell them actually get to know me before judging me and my disabilities that I cannot help
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If my partner's family didn't accept that I have tourette syndrome. I have seizures. I have fake spells because of my pots that I have seizures that are uncontrollable and I don't know why they happen. I have a lot of anxiety so you know I don't ever ask for much. I just asked for my partner to be there when I'm seizing because it's very very scary seizing alone THAT'S ALL I ASK I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH So if my partner's family ever didn't like me. I'll be like well let me tell you something. It's not easy living this way and you have no idea how hard it is. I would love for you to live in my shoes. Live in my body You would want out in a minute because it's that tough to live inside and I would tell them actually get to know me before judging me and my disabilities that I cannot help
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brokenbrainwarrior
THE ONES TO BLAME ARE THE PEOPLE THAT FAKE HAVING DISABILITIES OR MAKE THEMSELVES SO CRITICAL THAT THEY HAVE TO HAVE THE DISABILITIES! That's the people that need to get attacked. Not the people that actually suffer with disabilities or the people that think they're born to be disabled. Not normal LIKE WHAT? - I didn't ask to be born disabled but I AM
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THE ONES TO BLAME ARE THE PEOPLE THAT FAKE HAVING DISABILITIES OR MAKE THEMSELVES SO CRITICAL THAT THEY HAVE TO HAVE THE DISABILITIES! That's the people that need to get attacked. Not the people that actually suffer with disabilities or the people that think they're born to be disabled. Not normal LIKE WHAT? - I didn't ask to be born disabled but I AM
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It-s
Guys don-t be mean. We-re not in their shoes, I think having a baby after 7 months is too soon but it-s their life. If they-ve decided to have a baby under these circumstances then they most probably have the means to take care of it, maybe with the aid of carers and maybe not. What is it to us? People are so quick to just throw out opinions.
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Guys don-t be mean. We-re not in their shoes, I think having a baby after 7 months is too soon but it-s their life. If they-ve decided to have a baby under these circumstances then they most probably have the means to take care of it, maybe with the aid of carers and maybe not. What is it to us? People are so quick to just throw out opinions.
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Jessie
I too am in recovery be proud bro! I'm also in a wheelchair so represent hunny! But there are plenty of couples in the main stream Cole and Charisma, and Squirmy and Grubs and those are 2 of the more popular but there's nothing wrong! Good luck you're in my prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy!
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I too am in recovery be proud bro! I'm also in a wheelchair so represent hunny! But there are plenty of couples in the main stream Cole and Charisma, and Squirmy and Grubs and those are 2 of the more popular but there's nothing wrong! Good luck you're in my prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy!
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Celwood1989
Seriously, why would you want to risk the big chance of passing on that disability to a child? I don't care how mean people think this is. I think it's horrible to decide to have a baby knowing the chances are good it could inherit a disability like this. It's just wrong.
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Seriously, why would you want to risk the big chance of passing on that disability to a child? I don't care how mean people think this is. I think it's horrible to decide to have a baby knowing the chances are good it could inherit a disability like this. It's just wrong.
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Lauren
They are best most special couple and amazing so inspiring and amazing and strong and strength will be great parents and so happy for them strong strength course and accomplished so much and so unique and unbelievable and beautiful story will be amazing great parents -
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They are best most special couple and amazing so inspiring and amazing and strong and strength will be great parents and so happy for them strong strength course and accomplished so much and so unique and unbelievable and beautiful story will be amazing great parents -
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technical
I just wanted to know how they earn money. after disability. i am fully abled person but unemployed how do I manage money. nobody tells how do they earn money. how disable trans etc but they manage to buy house and wealth. they must need to share that info too
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I just wanted to know how they earn money. after disability. i am fully abled person but unemployed how do I manage money. nobody tells how do they earn money. how disable trans etc but they manage to buy house and wealth. they must need to share that info too
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Kelsie
Just because shee disabled doesnt mean she cant or should not try to live her life. People need to step pr put themselves in others shoes you cant fall in love or meet someone and have a family god forbid that. Thats why its best to keep somethings to yourselfs
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Just because shee disabled doesnt mean she cant or should not try to live her life. People need to step pr put themselves in others shoes you cant fall in love or meet someone and have a family god forbid that. Thats why its best to keep somethings to yourselfs
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ty(WaterGawd)
The fact that everything can be -fetishized- today is crazy lmao- like u can't even live ya life lmao even if it is so what. The same people saying that would be the same one telling her somebody will come along if she was single.
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The fact that everything can be -fetishized- today is crazy lmao- like u can't even live ya life lmao even if it is so what. The same people saying that would be the same one telling her somebody will come along if she was single.
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Alex
Does anyone know how old she is bc looking up the disease she has or whatever you wanan call it I'm wondering if the child will reach adulthood by the tome she reaches the average life expectancy of someone with her condition.
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Does anyone know how old she is bc looking up the disease she has or whatever you wanan call it I'm wondering if the child will reach adulthood by the tome she reaches the average life expectancy of someone with her condition.
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mbocco83
So what if he has a disability fetish. Some people what some extremely unconventional fetish. Some people wear diapers to get off. Just because one is behind doors, and one is not, doesn't make it different.
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So what if he has a disability fetish. Some people what some extremely unconventional fetish. Some people wear diapers to get off. Just because one is behind doors, and one is not, doesn't make it different.
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SuckuhDuckin
I'm worried that he's gonna get overwhelmed taking care of her and his baby. they don't really know each other. smh. good luck to them cuz now its too late. and I hope he continues to remain sober.
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I'm worried that he's gonna get overwhelmed taking care of her and his baby. they don't really know each other. smh. good luck to them cuz now its too late. and I hope he continues to remain sober.
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9687loveless
Baby after 7 months? Idc about the disability or whatever but cmon 7 months and your having a kid that-s so irresponsible you don-t even truly know a person till AT LEAST A COUPLE YEARS! Smh -
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Baby after 7 months? Idc about the disability or whatever but cmon 7 months and your having a kid that-s so irresponsible you don-t even truly know a person till AT LEAST A COUPLE YEARS! Smh -
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Debi
Brilliant they are such a lovely couple. My outlook is live and let live. No one has the right to say that any relationship is wrong or weird or anything really, it-s none of your god dam business!
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Brilliant they are such a lovely couple. My outlook is live and let live. No one has the right to say that any relationship is wrong or weird or anything really, it-s none of your god dam business!
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Apryl
Ignore the ignorant! Bless y'all and your beautiful baby. Congrats. Btw I'm the mother of a beautiful disabled daughter and she is 23 yrs old and I can't wait to be a grandma -
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Ignore the ignorant! Bless y'all and your beautiful baby. Congrats. Btw I'm the mother of a beautiful disabled daughter and she is 23 yrs old and I can't wait to be a grandma -
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Lil
Why is everyone questioning the fact they are having a baby at 7 months of knowing each other? There could be a genuine reason why they wanted a baby, and people shouldn't judge.
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Why is everyone questioning the fact they are having a baby at 7 months of knowing each other? There could be a genuine reason why they wanted a baby, and people shouldn't judge.
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Spindle
I'm so happy that baby will make three. However, from my perspective as one raised under the shadow of illegitimacy, I hope that they will get hitched before the blessed event.
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I'm so happy that baby will make three. However, from my perspective as one raised under the shadow of illegitimacy, I hope that they will get hitched before the blessed event.
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rebecca
Least of their problem is her being disabled - they've only known each other 7 months and he's only been Sober for a couple months. There's Red flags All over the place ---
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Least of their problem is her being disabled - they've only known each other 7 months and he's only been Sober for a couple months. There's Red flags All over the place ---
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Aut
Congratulations on the baby and congratulations on your sobriety! You both are going to be grest parents and eff those haters you guys keep going! Sending all the love! -
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Congratulations on the baby and congratulations on your sobriety! You both are going to be grest parents and eff those haters you guys keep going! Sending all the love! -
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Lune
I for real thought their dog was a deer when I saw him for that split second in the beginning of the video lmao. With what is it mixed? It's like a long chihuahua
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I for real thought their dog was a deer when I saw him for that split second in the beginning of the video lmao. With what is it mixed? It's like a long chihuahua
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Astrin
Is anyone going to address the fact that they've only been together for -SEVEN MONTHS- and she's already heavily pregnant? In what universe is this a good idea?
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Is anyone going to address the fact that they've only been together for -SEVEN MONTHS- and she's already heavily pregnant? In what universe is this a good idea?
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Bunny
Y'all do realise she's 18 weeks pregnant while they're in the relationship for 7 months. So she got pregnant after less than 3 months of being together, not 7.
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Y'all do realise she's 18 weeks pregnant while they're in the relationship for 7 months. So she got pregnant after less than 3 months of being together, not 7.
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TeslaDrivingschool
Wait, a 7month relationship, and expecting a baby? Thats a no from me. Addiction problem and disabled has nothing even to do with that.
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Wait, a 7month relationship, and expecting a baby? Thats a no from me. Addiction problem and disabled has nothing even to do with that.
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jamison
i-m not worried about the fact that she-s disabled and he-s a recovering addict, i-m worried that they-ve only been together for seven months
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i-m not worried about the fact that she-s disabled and he-s a recovering addict, i-m worried that they-ve only been together for seven months
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Oria
There is no reason why you can't be an amazing parent and be disabled. Any haters will be backtracking once they see how you raise your kids.
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There is no reason why you can't be an amazing parent and be disabled. Any haters will be backtracking once they see how you raise your kids.
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Soff
Getting a baby when you're not even able to look after yourself really is the best idea ever. Responsible parenting at its best -
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Getting a baby when you're not even able to look after yourself really is the best idea ever. Responsible parenting at its best -
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Oddrick
Okay buy like you've only been dating 7 months and you're already having a child, I think that's too soon for any couple lmao
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Okay buy like you've only been dating 7 months and you're already having a child, I think that's too soon for any couple lmao
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Andrea
This couple has gotten so much hate. So rude! They are happy & their baby is well taken care of and most importantly. loved!
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This couple has gotten so much hate. So rude! They are happy & their baby is well taken care of and most importantly. loved!
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katbozues
Good for her, but honestly, I'm so sick of seeing video after video of this chick talking about the same exact things.
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Good for her, but honestly, I'm so sick of seeing video after video of this chick talking about the same exact things.
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