6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
Cevune
I would caution the Generosity vs Manipulation point. It's true that you shouldn't keep a tab or expect an exact exchange for the things you do. However, it's also worth noting that giving of affection, care, and action shouldn't be one-sided either. You shouldn't use your actions towards a partner as a bargaining chip to control them as an individual, but I feel like a line can be blurred where the notion of giving without expecting anything in return might lead one to believe it's okay if they give and don't expect anything in return. Your partner should be as invested in you as you are in them. Not as an exact value necessarily, but if one person is going out of their way to care for, help, or do things for the other, and the other partner can't be bothered to do anything in return, that's not so much selfless generosity as allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.
To that point, I'd say the distinguishing factor is expecting a particular will of yours to be imposed on the other in exchange for something you do, or doing something with a conscious price tag of sorts would be manipulation. But doing something for your lover and expecting that they will reciprocate action to you in a time and manner of their choosing is not, and is just expecting them to be equally invested.
reply
I would caution the Generosity vs Manipulation point. It's true that you shouldn't keep a tab or expect an exact exchange for the things you do. However, it's also worth noting that giving of affection, care, and action shouldn't be one-sided either. You shouldn't use your actions towards a partner as a bargaining chip to control them as an individual, but I feel like a line can be blurred where the notion of giving without expecting anything in return might lead one to believe it's okay if they give and don't expect anything in return. Your partner should be as invested in you as you are in them. Not as an exact value necessarily, but if one person is going out of their way to care for, help, or do things for the other, and the other partner can't be bothered to do anything in return, that's not so much selfless generosity as allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.
To that point, I'd say the distinguishing factor is expecting a particular will of yours to be imposed on the other in exchange for something you do, or doing something with a conscious price tag of sorts would be manipulation. But doing something for your lover and expecting that they will reciprocate action to you in a time and manner of their choosing is not, and is just expecting them to be equally invested.
reply
Heather
My ex and I were both guilty of different things. I would definitely say that our love remained intense, and I was jealous. My jealousy worsened after they betrayed my trust and broke an agreement we made. I found out a year into the relationship that they had a porn addiction, which was a big blow. I found out about quite a bit of stuff they were doing behind my back. They lied about a lot, from liking raspberries to something as big as an addiction problem. I was overly generous, making up for the lack of generosity they had. We lacked proper communication. It was sooooo toxic. It's weird looking back and realizing that our relationship was as dysfunctional and damaging as it was, because in the moment I felt so in love with this person, and like I would give and sacrifice anything to make it work. They never really worked as hard as I did to better the relationship. I did the work while they reaped the benefits. No changes they made ever stuck. We aren't good together. It's something I need to remember when I feel like I miss them.
reply
My ex and I were both guilty of different things. I would definitely say that our love remained intense, and I was jealous. My jealousy worsened after they betrayed my trust and broke an agreement we made. I found out a year into the relationship that they had a porn addiction, which was a big blow. I found out about quite a bit of stuff they were doing behind my back. They lied about a lot, from liking raspberries to something as big as an addiction problem. I was overly generous, making up for the lack of generosity they had. We lacked proper communication. It was sooooo toxic. It's weird looking back and realizing that our relationship was as dysfunctional and damaging as it was, because in the moment I felt so in love with this person, and like I would give and sacrifice anything to make it work. They never really worked as hard as I did to better the relationship. I did the work while they reaped the benefits. No changes they made ever stuck. We aren't good together. It's something I need to remember when I feel like I miss them.
reply
Blague
Assuming your partner is good enough as long as you try to understand them, make them feel comfortable in sharing their feelings and making them feel heard and validating their emotions shows that you're going in the right direction.
I'm happy that I understand this now. It's sometimes scary not knowing how you can be a good partner to someone, sometimes over focusing on some unimportant or even unhealthy stuff and on the other hand forgetting some mundane and obvious stuff like making your partner feel heard. In those situations you can put a lot of effort, but since it is in the wrong areas, you won't see as much of a result as you anticipated and it can become really frustrating. Ending everything tragically
Thank you Psych2go
reply
Assuming your partner is good enough as long as you try to understand them, make them feel comfortable in sharing their feelings and making them feel heard and validating their emotions shows that you're going in the right direction.
I'm happy that I understand this now. It's sometimes scary not knowing how you can be a good partner to someone, sometimes over focusing on some unimportant or even unhealthy stuff and on the other hand forgetting some mundane and obvious stuff like making your partner feel heard. In those situations you can put a lot of effort, but since it is in the wrong areas, you won't see as much of a result as you anticipated and it can become really frustrating. Ending everything tragically
Thank you Psych2go
reply
Andrew
Advice from a guy whose wife left him after 18 years together:
1. Put photos of your wife and kids on your phone and in visible places at work to remind yourself of how lucky you are.
2. Compliment your spouse daily.
3. Be grateful for their presence.
4. Do not speak to your family harshly or rudely, do not yell, do not threaten divorce.
5. Remember this family is hard work but separation and being a single man again is hell.
6. Dont under any circumstances belittle your spouse to their face, to other family members or to friends. Be loyal.
7. Remember why you fell in love and got married.
8. Listen. Like actually listen like you do at work or to your parents.
reply
Advice from a guy whose wife left him after 18 years together:
1. Put photos of your wife and kids on your phone and in visible places at work to remind yourself of how lucky you are.
2. Compliment your spouse daily.
3. Be grateful for their presence.
4. Do not speak to your family harshly or rudely, do not yell, do not threaten divorce.
5. Remember this family is hard work but separation and being a single man again is hell.
6. Dont under any circumstances belittle your spouse to their face, to other family members or to friends. Be loyal.
7. Remember why you fell in love and got married.
8. Listen. Like actually listen like you do at work or to your parents.
reply
Auouras
I've a question:
I buy my partner all sorts of gifts. I was going to get him some mens perfume yesterday but he said no I should be saving my money.
That aside, I sometimes find my self thinking that he will eventually pay me back by giving me gifts in return. He does just not often as he doesn't make as much money as me.
I brought him a controller and said he should pay me back, but later asked him if he would like to pay me back or get me a gift that's worth more then a of the value of the item I brought him.
I'd prefer a gift honestly.
Is this a bad thing?
reply
I've a question:
I buy my partner all sorts of gifts. I was going to get him some mens perfume yesterday but he said no I should be saving my money.
That aside, I sometimes find my self thinking that he will eventually pay me back by giving me gifts in return. He does just not often as he doesn't make as much money as me.
I brought him a controller and said he should pay me back, but later asked him if he would like to pay me back or get me a gift that's worth more then a of the value of the item I brought him.
I'd prefer a gift honestly.
Is this a bad thing?
reply
Mar
I counted 6 unhealthy things from my partner while counted 3 bad from my part. Things that I did not used to do at the beginning. It just sad that I'm becoming someone I did not want to be. he does not behave but acts as if he really wanted me to stay. I once heard if the person tells you they love you but misbehave and temporarily behave again after you leave them they don't love you. They are comfortable with you. This video helped me understand more. I'm giving but not receiving and slowly turning into him. It's exhausting living like this. for years now.
reply
I counted 6 unhealthy things from my partner while counted 3 bad from my part. Things that I did not used to do at the beginning. It just sad that I'm becoming someone I did not want to be. he does not behave but acts as if he really wanted me to stay. I once heard if the person tells you they love you but misbehave and temporarily behave again after you leave them they don't love you. They are comfortable with you. This video helped me understand more. I'm giving but not receiving and slowly turning into him. It's exhausting living like this. for years now.
reply
Annika
I'm not sure I agree with that first one. Stability and intensity aren't mutually exclusive.
I still get rushing emotions and high intensity affection with my girlfriend even though it's been years since we first started dating. We still want to spend most of our time together and both check up on each other when we're apart. That doesn't mean our relationship isn't stable.
Intense emotions aren't a sign of an unhealthy relationship. That first point is making it sound like you shouldn't continually feel in love with your partner.
reply
I'm not sure I agree with that first one. Stability and intensity aren't mutually exclusive.
I still get rushing emotions and high intensity affection with my girlfriend even though it's been years since we first started dating. We still want to spend most of our time together and both check up on each other when we're apart. That doesn't mean our relationship isn't stable.
Intense emotions aren't a sign of an unhealthy relationship. That first point is making it sound like you shouldn't continually feel in love with your partner.
reply
xan
is it bad that i have all these signs in my relationship? I'm always the one begging my partner to come back. i don't even remember the amount of times I've done that and it just happened again last night. I'm aware that my relationship is toxic but even the thought of leaving them is so hard, because I've became dependent over them for everything and i really have no idea what to do, it feels scary
reply
is it bad that i have all these signs in my relationship? I'm always the one begging my partner to come back. i don't even remember the amount of times I've done that and it just happened again last night. I'm aware that my relationship is toxic but even the thought of leaving them is so hard, because I've became dependent over them for everything and i really have no idea what to do, it feels scary
reply
shiny
This video is made in a way of you thinking whether is true or false good or bad toxic or not toxic relationship.
Relationships are a place to work on when there is a problem don't throw away what you have before you try fixing it.
Maybe you relationship is toxic right now but it doesnt mean its not true love when overcoming.
reply
This video is made in a way of you thinking whether is true or false good or bad toxic or not toxic relationship.
Relationships are a place to work on when there is a problem don't throw away what you have before you try fixing it.
Maybe you relationship is toxic right now but it doesnt mean its not true love when overcoming.
reply
Gunjan
He always feels that all the other mens, including co-workers are waiting for their turns to be with me and then he just started telling me that I am overfriendly with guys and started to control who I talk with. is it normal for mens to feel this and fo this to their womens or is he turning toxic.
reply
He always feels that all the other mens, including co-workers are waiting for their turns to be with me and then he just started telling me that I am overfriendly with guys and started to control who I talk with. is it normal for mens to feel this and fo this to their womens or is he turning toxic.
reply
Ron
Oh boy. Maybe exiling myself from relationships for a few years has been a good thing for the future Miss Right. Getting used to being alone w just me and my pups is hard, but hopefully necessary. I correlate with way too many of the unhealthy attributes.
reply
Oh boy. Maybe exiling myself from relationships for a few years has been a good thing for the future Miss Right. Getting used to being alone w just me and my pups is hard, but hopefully necessary. I correlate with way too many of the unhealthy attributes.
reply
James
I was in a very bad relationship. It hurt me so badly that I shut down completely. I don't go out anymore because my ex is still not over me and follows me everywhere I go. I can't do anything and all I have for support is my dog.
reply
I was in a very bad relationship. It hurt me so badly that I shut down completely. I don't go out anymore because my ex is still not over me and follows me everywhere I go. I can't do anything and all I have for support is my dog.
reply
Lauretta
The only thing I disagree with is the money aspect. I believe if you are borrowing a large sum of money like 1, 500. it is only fair to pay back your partner. Not with anything but paying them back tho. (Unless youre married)
reply
The only thing I disagree with is the money aspect. I believe if you are borrowing a large sum of money like 1, 500. it is only fair to pay back your partner. Not with anything but paying them back tho. (Unless youre married)
reply
Javi
the relationship is not unhealthy only cause i stop this behaviors but is really draining to constantly fight and overthink over this type of things. i obligated them to go to the psychologist, can someone change with therapy?
reply
the relationship is not unhealthy only cause i stop this behaviors but is really draining to constantly fight and overthink over this type of things. i obligated them to go to the psychologist, can someone change with therapy?
reply
education
What if i finally have the healthy love (after a toxic relationship that lasted 9 years) but sometimes feel that there is something lacking. I think i can only feel attraction when there is drama involved. Am i broken?
reply
What if i finally have the healthy love (after a toxic relationship that lasted 9 years) but sometimes feel that there is something lacking. I think i can only feel attraction when there is drama involved. Am i broken?
reply
Sarana
Ah but in a healthy relationship, there is indeed a give and take, and it should feel reciprocal. Its not something that you can keep track of. Its just you naturally want to give to one another, and it all evens out.
reply
Ah but in a healthy relationship, there is indeed a give and take, and it should feel reciprocal. Its not something that you can keep track of. Its just you naturally want to give to one another, and it all evens out.
reply
Archana
True. In fact, this could be elaborated so much more. There is a list of normalised unhealthy behaviors in the name of love, and an underrated list of behaviors that resemble deep, real, true, consistent love.
reply
True. In fact, this could be elaborated so much more. There is a list of normalised unhealthy behaviors in the name of love, and an underrated list of behaviors that resemble deep, real, true, consistent love.
reply
Baby
I didn't experience healthy love growing up, so I didn't know what to look for once I grew up. I found myself less unhealthy love. I got stuck for 12 years in it. But now I free
reply
I didn't experience healthy love growing up, so I didn't know what to look for once I grew up. I found myself less unhealthy love. I got stuck for 12 years in it. But now I free
reply
Angel
When it comes to money what if you don't have enough yourself, you give them money all the time and they never give it back even though you're struggling to do so many things?
reply
When it comes to money what if you don't have enough yourself, you give them money all the time and they never give it back even though you're struggling to do so many things?
reply
Latoya
i was heart broken not until i was recommended to Dr Danja The Spell Caster who helped me restore my relationship i can't still believe it that we are now together again.
reply
i was heart broken not until i was recommended to Dr Danja The Spell Caster who helped me restore my relationship i can't still believe it that we are now together again.
reply
Latoya
i was heart broken not until i was recommended to Dr Danja The Spell Caster who helped me restore my relationship i can't still believe it that we are now together again.
reply
i was heart broken not until i was recommended to Dr Danja The Spell Caster who helped me restore my relationship i can't still believe it that we are now together again.
reply
steven
Women are hypergamous and subconsciously congruence test men aka ask men to do things that arent good for the man but good for the female. Make a video on that
reply
Women are hypergamous and subconsciously congruence test men aka ask men to do things that arent good for the man but good for the female. Make a video on that
reply
education
Ask yourself if you have done these behaviours first before blaming someone else, then be willing to improve first before you ask someone else to improve.
reply
Ask yourself if you have done these behaviours first before blaming someone else, then be willing to improve first before you ask someone else to improve.
reply
education
Dont watch this and use it as fuel to fire up the victimhood. Use this as a learning tool, dont stay a victim forever or blame others or everyone else
reply
Dont watch this and use it as fuel to fire up the victimhood. Use this as a learning tool, dont stay a victim forever or blame others or everyone else
reply
Rifolas
Helped me realize just how toxic my previous relationship was, hits all the marks on this.
Thanks for making this stuff, I appreciate it: )
reply
Helped me realize just how toxic my previous relationship was, hits all the marks on this.
Thanks for making this stuff, I appreciate it: )
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
