6 Reasons Why Someone Is Emotionally Distant
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Grass
im the emotionally distant type. Im working on it and feeling good abt it but i wanted to try sharing why i am emotionally distant. Because i have found that i just cannot imagine a healthy family, those from healthy families cannot imagine a world like mine.
My family was violent, secretive, and very family-centric (read: Father-centric. My memories of childhood are of being burnt on both ends by severe instability at home, and poor educational opportunities at school. My parents would fight all the time, and i have memories of them running away with some or all of the children. When a parent took me, i never knew where we were going, or how long wed be gone, if i would ever come back to my town to see my only two friends at school. sht i was so lonely and what is a 7 year old little girl supposed to do when she is being told she needs to man up and take good care of her mom, and to respect her father better? And i never seen them do anything together but fight or fck. I ran away.
I have met tons of kind and selfless people since then. I'm grateful. So how could i ever expose the kind people of this world to the ugly violence inside me? Thats how im feeling. The people i enjoy connecting with are so kind to me, i dont want to tell them how im feeling. I dont even know whatll make it better so whats the point? i rather just enjoy today as best as i can. I want help but i feel like i just want a new parents. I want to feel like someones got me no matter what. Damn. i dont know how i do this.
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im the emotionally distant type. Im working on it and feeling good abt it but i wanted to try sharing why i am emotionally distant. Because i have found that i just cannot imagine a healthy family, those from healthy families cannot imagine a world like mine.
My family was violent, secretive, and very family-centric (read: Father-centric. My memories of childhood are of being burnt on both ends by severe instability at home, and poor educational opportunities at school. My parents would fight all the time, and i have memories of them running away with some or all of the children. When a parent took me, i never knew where we were going, or how long wed be gone, if i would ever come back to my town to see my only two friends at school. sht i was so lonely and what is a 7 year old little girl supposed to do when she is being told she needs to man up and take good care of her mom, and to respect her father better? And i never seen them do anything together but fight or fck. I ran away.
I have met tons of kind and selfless people since then. I'm grateful. So how could i ever expose the kind people of this world to the ugly violence inside me? Thats how im feeling. The people i enjoy connecting with are so kind to me, i dont want to tell them how im feeling. I dont even know whatll make it better so whats the point? i rather just enjoy today as best as i can. I want help but i feel like i just want a new parents. I want to feel like someones got me no matter what. Damn. i dont know how i do this.
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Abhishek
In my childhood, I always had the pressure of expectations. Since I was five, I was taught to stay in my dignity. In my household, apparently, if you call a person often, or if you have any contact with a person too often, you lose your dignity and worth in the other person's eyes. If you get lesser than 97% in your reports, you're a disgrace to the family. If you fall in love at a young age, you're easy on the heart, if you don't study 24/7, you're a thief from your studies. When I was in 6th standard, I used to study for 8 hours, excluding school. And if I switch on the TV for half an hour in between that, the 8 hours of study + 6 hours of school would be forgotten and the only thing remaining in the minds of my parents would be, How dare she switch on the television! She's supposed to be studying right now. If I spill milk, I'm the most irresponsible person ever. If I speak up against my parents, just go and die.
What my parents got out of this:
1: A depressed and socially anxious child.
2: A topper (It made them happy, but that percentage is just a number to me)
3: A child with no love life (I'm 23 and I've never dated, not even had my first kiss)
4: A child who's insecure no matter what.
5: A child who can't speak up to her bullies.
6: A child who would never show any emotion on her face.
I hope you're happy mom and dad. :)
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In my childhood, I always had the pressure of expectations. Since I was five, I was taught to stay in my dignity. In my household, apparently, if you call a person often, or if you have any contact with a person too often, you lose your dignity and worth in the other person's eyes. If you get lesser than 97% in your reports, you're a disgrace to the family. If you fall in love at a young age, you're easy on the heart, if you don't study 24/7, you're a thief from your studies. When I was in 6th standard, I used to study for 8 hours, excluding school. And if I switch on the TV for half an hour in between that, the 8 hours of study + 6 hours of school would be forgotten and the only thing remaining in the minds of my parents would be, How dare she switch on the television! She's supposed to be studying right now. If I spill milk, I'm the most irresponsible person ever. If I speak up against my parents, just go and die.
What my parents got out of this:
1: A depressed and socially anxious child.
2: A topper (It made them happy, but that percentage is just a number to me)
3: A child with no love life (I'm 23 and I've never dated, not even had my first kiss)
4: A child who's insecure no matter what.
5: A child who can't speak up to her bullies.
6: A child who would never show any emotion on her face.
I hope you're happy mom and dad. :)
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Namratha
I am a very social person. I mingle with all kinds of people in the day. I care about others, play with people, being emotionally available to all, joke about my past, have a good sense of humor, talkative. All in all, I am bubbly and cheerful.
But when the night comes, the beautiful wallpaper masking the broken wall peels off. I switch off my phone and sit in the darkness of my room. I merge into nothingness, simply staring at the sky with no sense of time or environment around me.
I don't trust anyone. Although I share my thoughts with my friends and family. I do not do it, cuz I want them to give me solace or understand me. Instead, I feel they are an emotional sponge when I get overloaded with inner turmoil, I simply vent it out on anyone. Still, I make sure they are not burdened.
But I don't differentiate between people. For me, all are strangers no matter how long we are friends, shared meals, or even if they are my family. I treat everyone the same, they mean nothing by the end of the day.
I force myself to socialize cuz I live in human society. I need to depend on others for survival. I need people so I behave like a human else I am quite detached. I don't know if this is a sickness. I want to live a solitary life in a deep forest where no one can ever find me.
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I am a very social person. I mingle with all kinds of people in the day. I care about others, play with people, being emotionally available to all, joke about my past, have a good sense of humor, talkative. All in all, I am bubbly and cheerful.
But when the night comes, the beautiful wallpaper masking the broken wall peels off. I switch off my phone and sit in the darkness of my room. I merge into nothingness, simply staring at the sky with no sense of time or environment around me.
I don't trust anyone. Although I share my thoughts with my friends and family. I do not do it, cuz I want them to give me solace or understand me. Instead, I feel they are an emotional sponge when I get overloaded with inner turmoil, I simply vent it out on anyone. Still, I make sure they are not burdened.
But I don't differentiate between people. For me, all are strangers no matter how long we are friends, shared meals, or even if they are my family. I treat everyone the same, they mean nothing by the end of the day.
I force myself to socialize cuz I live in human society. I need to depend on others for survival. I need people so I behave like a human else I am quite detached. I don't know if this is a sickness. I want to live a solitary life in a deep forest where no one can ever find me.
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Masuda
I would say just off the title and descriptions I think this is me 100%.
And I guess it's why so many like to find a partner( Not by any means saying it's the best way, because having one is one of the most common ways to no longer become emotionally distant. You can pour your heart and soul into your partner and together further yourselves, breaking out of shells that you had trouble breaking out of on your own.
I have avoided all of this for years after stuff in my life happened.
I don't open up to my mother, because the trust is just not there.
I don't open up to my sister because our relationship has been broken since day one.
I don't open up to most of my older cousins so many of them just end up being insanely judgemental.
Younger cousins I just don't want to feel like I'm dumping anything on them as I usually try to be the one that they can talk to.
And well yea I just don't have anyone that I even trust enough to actually express myself to, to the point where I would sooner open up to 4chan users before anybody else.
Some people think they're helping by small bits of text or saying hello but I think I'm at he point where that no longer really helps.
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I would say just off the title and descriptions I think this is me 100%.
And I guess it's why so many like to find a partner( Not by any means saying it's the best way, because having one is one of the most common ways to no longer become emotionally distant. You can pour your heart and soul into your partner and together further yourselves, breaking out of shells that you had trouble breaking out of on your own.
I have avoided all of this for years after stuff in my life happened.
I don't open up to my mother, because the trust is just not there.
I don't open up to my sister because our relationship has been broken since day one.
I don't open up to most of my older cousins so many of them just end up being insanely judgemental.
Younger cousins I just don't want to feel like I'm dumping anything on them as I usually try to be the one that they can talk to.
And well yea I just don't have anyone that I even trust enough to actually express myself to, to the point where I would sooner open up to 4chan users before anybody else.
Some people think they're helping by small bits of text or saying hello but I think I'm at he point where that no longer really helps.
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Drina
I know how it feels to be too nice for your own good. Your needs go ignored. You start to resent the people you're nice to. You expect others to reciprocate your niceness in a certain way. You crave validation from others. You fear conflict. The moment you stand up for yourself and say no, it is seen as rude. Overly nice people tend to attract those who are looking to take advantage of their good nature and use it against them. Although I treated my classmates kindly, they eventually started to ask too much of me. They went from asking me if they could borrow my pencils, to asking me if they could copy my homework. I started to resent the kids I was kind to, and I found myself craving validation from my classmates. Sometimes the niceness that we show to others gets to the point where they start using our good nature against us.
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I know how it feels to be too nice for your own good. Your needs go ignored. You start to resent the people you're nice to. You expect others to reciprocate your niceness in a certain way. You crave validation from others. You fear conflict. The moment you stand up for yourself and say no, it is seen as rude. Overly nice people tend to attract those who are looking to take advantage of their good nature and use it against them. Although I treated my classmates kindly, they eventually started to ask too much of me. They went from asking me if they could borrow my pencils, to asking me if they could copy my homework. I started to resent the kids I was kind to, and I found myself craving validation from my classmates. Sometimes the niceness that we show to others gets to the point where they start using our good nature against us.
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Joe
Only child of divorced parents, lived mostly with mother who worked/slept most of the time, dad eventually got remarried and moved away, only saw him every other weekend, and so another woman's kid got that constant presence and support instead of me. Spent most of my time on video games, was fed a junky diet most of the time, and it felt like I had zero emotional support when it came to the more complex struggles of growing up. They always loved me, I knew that, but the parenting style was very detached and it took me until I was in my 20s to start realizing how badly this messed me up emotionally, and it's been a very hard realization that I'm still working through.
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Only child of divorced parents, lived mostly with mother who worked/slept most of the time, dad eventually got remarried and moved away, only saw him every other weekend, and so another woman's kid got that constant presence and support instead of me. Spent most of my time on video games, was fed a junky diet most of the time, and it felt like I had zero emotional support when it came to the more complex struggles of growing up. They always loved me, I knew that, but the parenting style was very detached and it took me until I was in my 20s to start realizing how badly this messed me up emotionally, and it's been a very hard realization that I'm still working through.
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RinRin
There's this person i like and weve been talking for a long time. But these days i know he's busy. it just hurts me to not get any message from him at all. he's online, he plays games but then when I talk to him. idk things. changed. maybe it's me who's just insensitive of his hard life idk anymore. idk what to say. i want to talk to him i try to initiate conversations while I'm scared to death just talking to him now. should I ask him if i did something wrong? But i know he's going to say no. idk anymore i want to cry but i cant. i. don't want to show it to any of my friends either. i don't want them to see me sad. but. i want to cry
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There's this person i like and weve been talking for a long time. But these days i know he's busy. it just hurts me to not get any message from him at all. he's online, he plays games but then when I talk to him. idk things. changed. maybe it's me who's just insensitive of his hard life idk anymore. idk what to say. i want to talk to him i try to initiate conversations while I'm scared to death just talking to him now. should I ask him if i did something wrong? But i know he's going to say no. idk anymore i want to cry but i cant. i. don't want to show it to any of my friends either. i don't want them to see me sad. but. i want to cry
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Lilien
In my life I have learned that no one loves no one. Not even husband and wife. Seeing this I see how flat life really is. I don't really associate with no one and I know that many people think that I am crazy but I don't care what others think of me. Nothing really has any purpose or meaning and I see no need to try to make something of nothing. If I see an attractive face I am not phased by it. If a person seems charming in some manner I don't feel no attachment in no way. I really don't feel nothing for others and I know they don't feel for me.
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In my life I have learned that no one loves no one. Not even husband and wife. Seeing this I see how flat life really is. I don't really associate with no one and I know that many people think that I am crazy but I don't care what others think of me. Nothing really has any purpose or meaning and I see no need to try to make something of nothing. If I see an attractive face I am not phased by it. If a person seems charming in some manner I don't feel no attachment in no way. I really don't feel nothing for others and I know they don't feel for me.
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Mechanical
I cannot speak for everyone else but I do this because I want to keep the person for a long time to a certain degree. Many times, seeing someone in the same room is good enough for me even if it only sometimes, and I cherish the casual acquaintance to friendship. But as face-to-face conversation turns deeper then there is when we see our individual differences: political, religion, family structure, perspective, general beliefs, and etc. and it can ruin the friendship. For me I rather stay neutral but keep the casualness.
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I cannot speak for everyone else but I do this because I want to keep the person for a long time to a certain degree. Many times, seeing someone in the same room is good enough for me even if it only sometimes, and I cherish the casual acquaintance to friendship. But as face-to-face conversation turns deeper then there is when we see our individual differences: political, religion, family structure, perspective, general beliefs, and etc. and it can ruin the friendship. For me I rather stay neutral but keep the casualness.
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Mariam
I always get confused cuz people tell me how important I am as their friend or even that they love me and then they totally stopped talking to me. I don't know if I'm just supposed to stay away or continue to show them that I care about them because I assume I did something wrong. So, it almost feels like because I brought out emotions in them they have to get rid of me or something, anyone else go through that?
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I always get confused cuz people tell me how important I am as their friend or even that they love me and then they totally stopped talking to me. I don't know if I'm just supposed to stay away or continue to show them that I care about them because I assume I did something wrong. So, it almost feels like because I brought out emotions in them they have to get rid of me or something, anyone else go through that?
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education
hey psych2go! since youve made a video about emotional distance, could you try making one about emotional detachment as a whole? us with this illness never see it talked about almost anywhere! it would be nice to see someone bring it to light and educate a lot of people about it, instead of us having to explain it every time we get asked individually and possibly get misunderstood a lot
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hey psych2go! since youve made a video about emotional distance, could you try making one about emotional detachment as a whole? us with this illness never see it talked about almost anywhere! it would be nice to see someone bring it to light and educate a lot of people about it, instead of us having to explain it every time we get asked individually and possibly get misunderstood a lot
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Brittany
I am worried that Im emotionally distant because when someone hurts my feelings I dont feel like spending time with my friends or talking to anyone. And want to be left alone. I have a fear of crying in front of people because I dont want people to see me cry because when I start crying it makes my friends family and boyfriend worry about me because they think I have depression
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I am worried that Im emotionally distant because when someone hurts my feelings I dont feel like spending time with my friends or talking to anyone. And want to be left alone. I have a fear of crying in front of people because I dont want people to see me cry because when I start crying it makes my friends family and boyfriend worry about me because they think I have depression
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ivan
Am i the only one who has this problem. I can get close and be close to someone but i can't do if there is nothing that can keep the relationship going like work, of school etc. I cut everyone and doesn't feel anything at all for it, even former best friends doesn't last. The only thing i don't cut is family and the sole reason is i live in the same house as them.
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Am i the only one who has this problem. I can get close and be close to someone but i can't do if there is nothing that can keep the relationship going like work, of school etc. I cut everyone and doesn't feel anything at all for it, even former best friends doesn't last. The only thing i don't cut is family and the sole reason is i live in the same house as them.
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ytfever
I reconnected with my high school ex gf recently. I believe her to be emotionally disconnected and could be on the psychopathic, narc spectrum. Regardless of her level of romantic interest, I felt like I was interacting with a total stranger and not someone I shared history with. It really freaked me out. She does not seem able to open up emotionally.
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I reconnected with my high school ex gf recently. I believe her to be emotionally disconnected and could be on the psychopathic, narc spectrum. Regardless of her level of romantic interest, I felt like I was interacting with a total stranger and not someone I shared history with. It really freaked me out. She does not seem able to open up emotionally.
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dogge
What it feels to be emotionless when an friend invited you to play in his house you all have fun and trys to make me laugh to but feels nothing like an empty can. and when you all have a family bonding they ask me why dont i smile or have fun. because everything means nothing to us we dont wanna feel love, happiness, sadness, depression, and pain.
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What it feels to be emotionless when an friend invited you to play in his house you all have fun and trys to make me laugh to but feels nothing like an empty can. and when you all have a family bonding they ask me why dont i smile or have fun. because everything means nothing to us we dont wanna feel love, happiness, sadness, depression, and pain.
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KeyOfTheTwilight
Im pretty much emotionally distant. And I have experienced having feelings for someone who is emotionally unavailable, which, I guess didnt exactly help me with my own problems. And yeah. I thought Im going through a thing where I want to connect with someone emotionally, in a romantic way, but couldnt.
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Im pretty much emotionally distant. And I have experienced having feelings for someone who is emotionally unavailable, which, I guess didnt exactly help me with my own problems. And yeah. I thought Im going through a thing where I want to connect with someone emotionally, in a romantic way, but couldnt.
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Joshua
Some traumas happen gradually in adulthood. Not all traumas stem from childhood. As an adult you are expected to toughen it out at all times and to not feel anything. The result is emotional detachment, especially when you are beaten down with it over and over and over again until you give up.
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Some traumas happen gradually in adulthood. Not all traumas stem from childhood. As an adult you are expected to toughen it out at all times and to not feel anything. The result is emotional detachment, especially when you are beaten down with it over and over and over again until you give up.
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Chicken
You know what makes me distant from everybody else? Nobody bothers to be a listening ear and I was always the one who had to shut my mouth and hear what they have to say. Other thing, my presence meant nothing to them and I was never appreciated. Flaws is the only thing they see in me.
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You know what makes me distant from everybody else? Nobody bothers to be a listening ear and I was always the one who had to shut my mouth and hear what they have to say. Other thing, my presence meant nothing to them and I was never appreciated. Flaws is the only thing they see in me.
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devi
Amanda Silvera's voice is SO comforting and conveys great compassion, tenderness and empathy. To further improve respectful inclusion of all your viewers, I hope that you will increase your representation of people of color, LGBT2+, people with disabilities, etc.
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Amanda Silvera's voice is SO comforting and conveys great compassion, tenderness and empathy. To further improve respectful inclusion of all your viewers, I hope that you will increase your representation of people of color, LGBT2+, people with disabilities, etc.
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Matsuki
im courting a girl and she said she had this (we've dated before and didn't last long, im left with confusions, but we talked things out last night and im enlightened, im to densed to not notice) damn this drives me to court her again.
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im courting a girl and she said she had this (we've dated before and didn't last long, im left with confusions, but we talked things out last night and im enlightened, im to densed to not notice) damn this drives me to court her again.
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Indrid
I am as emotionally distanced as one can get. I refuse to be emotionally ever engines again. Thus, I keep others at a very healthy distant. I require no friends nor a girlfriend. They are worthless in the form most of them exist today.
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I am as emotionally distanced as one can get. I refuse to be emotionally ever engines again. Thus, I keep others at a very healthy distant. I require no friends nor a girlfriend. They are worthless in the form most of them exist today.
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AJL2007
Narcissist abuse, past, parental, partners, friends. Ive lost all desire for a relationship. My teenager drains most of my emotional energy.
I know I will never go all in in ever again. Im honest about it and dont hurt anyone.
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Narcissist abuse, past, parental, partners, friends. Ive lost all desire for a relationship. My teenager drains most of my emotional energy.
I know I will never go all in in ever again. Im honest about it and dont hurt anyone.
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Raccia
For dog owners, yall know that lip raising that your dog does on only one side of their face? Thats me when I listen to these soft-voiced, kind female narrators for metal health videos. Anyone else get that?
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For dog owners, yall know that lip raising that your dog does on only one side of their face? Thats me when I listen to these soft-voiced, kind female narrators for metal health videos. Anyone else get that?
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finiya
Look I really want to be close to people but for some reason no matter how much we open up to each other it feels distant. God dammit. Im starting to believe I just cant form any deep relationships at all
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Look I really want to be close to people but for some reason no matter how much we open up to each other it feels distant. God dammit. Im starting to believe I just cant form any deep relationships at all
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Alejandra
I know now that Ive been emotionally distant with my couple. for years. And I dont surely know what causes it. Im tired of this kind of life, but I keep trying. This was useful for me. Thanks!
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I know now that Ive been emotionally distant with my couple. for years. And I dont surely know what causes it. Im tired of this kind of life, but I keep trying. This was useful for me. Thanks!
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