What Your Attachment Style Says About Your Personality
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Farah
I think that, since Ive gone to counseling and have admitted how my trauma has affected me, and possibly has steered me in the direction of being a narcissist, I have been able to mostly have a secure attachment style, and I do believe that it was because I realize that I will never be good enough for anyone and that is perfectly fine because I am 100% good enough for God. I cannot explain to you how amazing it feels to finally be good enough for someone and to never have to feel that you have to rely on anyone else for that feeling because you fully have it inside of you, obviously not all the time because everyone is still human, but my father was never told he was loved when he was a kid he was never good enough. He became a perfectionist, and he never went to counseling. Hes very avoidant and relies on himself and hes a narcissist, so I always feel that I need to make him happy that its my fault that he is unhappy even though I have nothing to do with it that is completely not at my fault, I have realized this is definitely anxious, and disorganized, and avoidant attachment style. I also do come off, sometimes as clingy or too needy
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I think that, since Ive gone to counseling and have admitted how my trauma has affected me, and possibly has steered me in the direction of being a narcissist, I have been able to mostly have a secure attachment style, and I do believe that it was because I realize that I will never be good enough for anyone and that is perfectly fine because I am 100% good enough for God. I cannot explain to you how amazing it feels to finally be good enough for someone and to never have to feel that you have to rely on anyone else for that feeling because you fully have it inside of you, obviously not all the time because everyone is still human, but my father was never told he was loved when he was a kid he was never good enough. He became a perfectionist, and he never went to counseling. Hes very avoidant and relies on himself and hes a narcissist, so I always feel that I need to make him happy that its my fault that he is unhappy even though I have nothing to do with it that is completely not at my fault, I have realized this is definitely anxious, and disorganized, and avoidant attachment style. I also do come off, sometimes as clingy or too needy
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Gillian
So I have a disorganized attachment style. My dad struggled with addiction most of my childhood and I would see things that made me so scared of him. He was also a narcissist and my whole family suffered abuse whether physically or emotionally and mentally. If a fight ever occurred, my parents would both leave the house for a certain amount of time and I never knew when they were coming back. When my dad came back, the day after he would sit us all down and have a 2 hour lecture about how he is messed up and he is still our father. My mother would talk to me about him and would try to help me understand. Now an adult, in relationships i tend to dissociate in a fight and can never say the right things. I understand it all goes back to childhood but its something i wish i never had to go through.
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So I have a disorganized attachment style. My dad struggled with addiction most of my childhood and I would see things that made me so scared of him. He was also a narcissist and my whole family suffered abuse whether physically or emotionally and mentally. If a fight ever occurred, my parents would both leave the house for a certain amount of time and I never knew when they were coming back. When my dad came back, the day after he would sit us all down and have a 2 hour lecture about how he is messed up and he is still our father. My mother would talk to me about him and would try to help me understand. Now an adult, in relationships i tend to dissociate in a fight and can never say the right things. I understand it all goes back to childhood but its something i wish i never had to go through.
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mida
i recently discovered attachment theory and i find it really helpful because it makes me understand myself better. i think for sure im anxious-attached. i tend to get really clingy and obsessive to people who give me attention and comfort. i start becoming very emotionally dependent on them and it affects me. recently, ive been trying to heal from this attachment style. It makes a lot of sense because i dont recall my parents not fulfilling my needs but sometimes they werent there for me when i wanted them to be. i was a really anxious, quiet kid and i remember getting attached to pretty much anybody who seemed like they cared.
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i recently discovered attachment theory and i find it really helpful because it makes me understand myself better. i think for sure im anxious-attached. i tend to get really clingy and obsessive to people who give me attention and comfort. i start becoming very emotionally dependent on them and it affects me. recently, ive been trying to heal from this attachment style. It makes a lot of sense because i dont recall my parents not fulfilling my needs but sometimes they werent there for me when i wanted them to be. i was a really anxious, quiet kid and i remember getting attached to pretty much anybody who seemed like they cared.
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marklll
Is it possible to switch from secure to anxious/ambivalent over time?
As an elementary schooler I've never had separation anxiety and I've never cried for my mom on the first day of school. I felt like I was really secure and we used to go on family dates back then but now that I'm more mature it is much clearer to me that my parents' relationship is falling apart, I've felt much less secure and I can't look at my parents in a way that I know they genuinely love me. I have severe separation anxiety now and I can't leave the house without thinking it's the last time I'll see my mom.
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Is it possible to switch from secure to anxious/ambivalent over time?
As an elementary schooler I've never had separation anxiety and I've never cried for my mom on the first day of school. I felt like I was really secure and we used to go on family dates back then but now that I'm more mature it is much clearer to me that my parents' relationship is falling apart, I've felt much less secure and I can't look at my parents in a way that I know they genuinely love me. I have severe separation anxiety now and I can't leave the house without thinking it's the last time I'll see my mom.
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PrettyGhoul
I think I'm disorganised avoident-fearful attachment. It was pretty accurate when describing the inability to understand the parents. As a kid my dad was distant one minute and caring the next and then my parents would argue and then makeup which often left me confused. I thought they didn't love each other and then one year they were like yeh we actually love each other it was wierd because I didn't believe it. I definatly have a problem keeping consistent relationships I've had 3 maybe even 4 groups of friends that have come and gone and I'm only 23 lol
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I think I'm disorganised avoident-fearful attachment. It was pretty accurate when describing the inability to understand the parents. As a kid my dad was distant one minute and caring the next and then my parents would argue and then makeup which often left me confused. I thought they didn't love each other and then one year they were like yeh we actually love each other it was wierd because I didn't believe it. I definatly have a problem keeping consistent relationships I've had 3 maybe even 4 groups of friends that have come and gone and I'm only 23 lol
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Ronin
Is it feasible to start at #4 & over time become #1 by learning the rules of that method acting a secure character until you really become that character's positive traits that you value, yet lack?
Would it be possible by identifying & attaching all of the positive/effective traits of a secure attachment style, and attaching them to them to your own identity. sort of like a reverse Health Ledger X Joker Urban Legend in principle?
Or is that just some crazy talk that a toilet research would say?
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Is it feasible to start at #4 & over time become #1 by learning the rules of that method acting a secure character until you really become that character's positive traits that you value, yet lack?
Would it be possible by identifying & attaching all of the positive/effective traits of a secure attachment style, and attaching them to them to your own identity. sort of like a reverse Health Ledger X Joker Urban Legend in principle?
Or is that just some crazy talk that a toilet research would say?
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Broke
I have memories of my father spanking me because I did something wrong and because he spanked me hard I would cry and then when I did cry out of pain he would yell loud at me and spank me more until I would stop crying p. s that never happened and my mom would normally have to stop my dad from spanking and yelling more at me. it now makes alot more sense on how my personality is today. I internalize way to much
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I have memories of my father spanking me because I did something wrong and because he spanked me hard I would cry and then when I did cry out of pain he would yell loud at me and spank me more until I would stop crying p. s that never happened and my mom would normally have to stop my dad from spanking and yelling more at me. it now makes alot more sense on how my personality is today. I internalize way to much
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Vinatigo
When I heard the explanation of the disorganized one, I think (not know, that would be absurd, I am not experienced in psychology and overall stuff like that) that this is me I guess, plenty of times, I just dont know how to react in situations, even with loved ones, by plenty I mean whenever something more serious or close to conflict arrives, I can argue sometimes and sometimes I just lock myself away.
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When I heard the explanation of the disorganized one, I think (not know, that would be absurd, I am not experienced in psychology and overall stuff like that) that this is me I guess, plenty of times, I just dont know how to react in situations, even with loved ones, by plenty I mean whenever something more serious or close to conflict arrives, I can argue sometimes and sometimes I just lock myself away.
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Grace
How do you get past your anxious attachment style and be better? Is it possible to or am I kinda stuck like this and just find ways to make it more bearable. How do I find someone then who's compatible for me. My partner is avoidant and now it seems like we're splitting up. Why. How can I prevent this from happening again and have an actual healthy loving and mutually wanted relationship?
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How do you get past your anxious attachment style and be better? Is it possible to or am I kinda stuck like this and just find ways to make it more bearable. How do I find someone then who's compatible for me. My partner is avoidant and now it seems like we're splitting up. Why. How can I prevent this from happening again and have an actual healthy loving and mutually wanted relationship?
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education
What if inside you are anxious or ambivalent cause you think people would like all your emotions or dont trust that people like you for you or at all and have poor self esteem but at secure because you want to seem like you arent anxious and stressed but instead keep up a secure front and work on comforting other but certainly dont feel secure in ur self? What does that mean?
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What if inside you are anxious or ambivalent cause you think people would like all your emotions or dont trust that people like you for you or at all and have poor self esteem but at secure because you want to seem like you arent anxious and stressed but instead keep up a secure front and work on comforting other but certainly dont feel secure in ur self? What does that mean?
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Deja
Watching this with tears coming down my face. Im almost 23 and Ive never had a healthy relationship with a man because its so hard. Its so hard for me to be vulnerable and emotionally intimate. I always go for the wrong men because I my perception of love is so flawed. Im so scared to be a mom, I never wanna put my kids through this.
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Watching this with tears coming down my face. Im almost 23 and Ive never had a healthy relationship with a man because its so hard. Its so hard for me to be vulnerable and emotionally intimate. I always go for the wrong men because I my perception of love is so flawed. Im so scared to be a mom, I never wanna put my kids through this.
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Mitz
I am everything except secure. A little bit of anxious/ambivalent where i can't easily trust people, a little bit of avoidant where I start to move away once I feel a growing intimacy, and disorganized because I never knew how to self-regulate. I am working hard on my healing. It's tough but I am willing to be patient.
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I am everything except secure. A little bit of anxious/ambivalent where i can't easily trust people, a little bit of avoidant where I start to move away once I feel a growing intimacy, and disorganized because I never knew how to self-regulate. I am working hard on my healing. It's tough but I am willing to be patient.
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Indrid
I avoid attachment. Most relationships, whether amicable or amorous, end with a cruel, painful, termination. To spare myself the agony of being used, betrayed, and painfully abandoned, again, I chose to avoid any attachment with humans. Humans are cruel, horrible, creatures. I disallow all bonds with them.
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I avoid attachment. Most relationships, whether amicable or amorous, end with a cruel, painful, termination. To spare myself the agony of being used, betrayed, and painfully abandoned, again, I chose to avoid any attachment with humans. Humans are cruel, horrible, creatures. I disallow all bonds with them.
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Stephanie
I have a secure attachment style.
However, my last relationship made me so anxious!
My las relationship was with an avoidant attachment, it was so frustrating because I would do EVERYTHING to make him comfortable. .
When I get back on dating, I'm going to ask about their attachment style.
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I have a secure attachment style.
However, my last relationship made me so anxious!
My las relationship was with an avoidant attachment, it was so frustrating because I would do EVERYTHING to make him comfortable. .
When I get back on dating, I'm going to ask about their attachment style.
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kamufi
Talk to a mental health professional. do you know how long it takes to get an appointment? It's impossible, even if you need help. I needed to be on the edge of ending me to get help with my trauma. And now that I don't have a therapist anymore I won't get a new one, I will just live with the pain.
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Talk to a mental health professional. do you know how long it takes to get an appointment? It's impossible, even if you need help. I needed to be on the edge of ending me to get help with my trauma. And now that I don't have a therapist anymore I won't get a new one, I will just live with the pain.
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cill
Im anxious and maybe a bit of avoidant, Im terrified of rejection from romantic partners and cling onto them for reassurance and if they dont show it back, I feel unworthy of love. I also dont make a lot of friendships, or try not to get close to people to make friends. It sucks
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Im anxious and maybe a bit of avoidant, Im terrified of rejection from romantic partners and cling onto them for reassurance and if they dont show it back, I feel unworthy of love. I also dont make a lot of friendships, or try not to get close to people to make friends. It sucks
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deku
my parents were the best- literally. im ugh why am a dismissive avoidant style? i dont find myself thinking ppl are too needy it just. turns me off i cant and bruh when they hug you? automatic stiffness am really trying to stop- whatever the frick am doing tho
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my parents were the best- literally. im ugh why am a dismissive avoidant style? i dont find myself thinking ppl are too needy it just. turns me off i cant and bruh when they hug you? automatic stiffness am really trying to stop- whatever the frick am doing tho
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Preston
I'm anxious attachment style. I'm constantly being abandoned like I'm trash. I just want someone to love on me. But everytime I date someone, they push me away. No matter what I do, I'm never good enough to be the only guy another guy wants.
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I'm anxious attachment style. I'm constantly being abandoned like I'm trash. I just want someone to love on me. But everytime I date someone, they push me away. No matter what I do, I'm never good enough to be the only guy another guy wants.
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Paci
Avoidant attachment
You withdraw yourself or repress your emotions when you feel stressed. You may have been discouraged from expressing your feelings. You are uncomfortable with emotional intimac.
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Avoidant attachment
You withdraw yourself or repress your emotions when you feel stressed. You may have been discouraged from expressing your feelings. You are uncomfortable with emotional intimac.
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Victoria
i'm still not sure which attachment style I am but for 1 friend i know, i think he has an anxious-avoidant style so it makes me understand him more. thank you for the video
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i'm still not sure which attachment style I am but for 1 friend i know, i think he has an anxious-avoidant style so it makes me understand him more. thank you for the video
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Shiloh
Tfw after years of understanding attachment styles and thinking you've been able to move into a secure one. your therapist suggests you have a disorganized attachment style
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Tfw after years of understanding attachment styles and thinking you've been able to move into a secure one. your therapist suggests you have a disorganized attachment style
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Raven
What if you don't fully fall into any of the categories? I'm an INFJ. Not sure if that would play into that or not. But by the Myers-Briggs test, I have an INFJ personality.
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What if you don't fully fall into any of the categories? I'm an INFJ. Not sure if that would play into that or not. But by the Myers-Briggs test, I have an INFJ personality.
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Black
Honestly I think I'm like a mix of secure and avoidant attachment style. I tend to be there for others but then so many times later I end up disconnecting with everyone
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Honestly I think I'm like a mix of secure and avoidant attachment style. I tend to be there for others but then so many times later I end up disconnecting with everyone
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Dragonfury
Me: Im not sure if im the anxious attachment style
Video: _shows person in video asking if someone hates them_
Me: K thats the most relatable thing ive seen
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Me: Im not sure if im the anxious attachment style
Video: _shows person in video asking if someone hates them_
Me: K thats the most relatable thing ive seen
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WonderBlox
I have reactive attachment disorder. I thought I had it under control but its worse again and its driving me nuts and sending me into a downward spiral
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I have reactive attachment disorder. I thought I had it under control but its worse again and its driving me nuts and sending me into a downward spiral
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