7 Signs You're Emotionally Abusive To Others
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Isa
Hmm my ex boyfriend he is a dismissive avoidant i noticed some emotional abusive signals i felt realy depressed and always the bad one and i also felt that my insecurties where waponized against me. He triggers me all the time just pokeing at me and even when i react calm he said but you where annoyd with me and got angry and i said it's even better when i'm annoyd and respond in a normal way. But now i think he wanted to make me feel guilty for my reaction all the time he also called me toxic or that i have bordeline traits i might have because as a fearfull avoidant my wounds are brining up at the core now. I'ts very unhealthy. I had times i was emotionaly dysregulated 3 times a week and that can hit you hard very hard. Now i see what is happening he wanted to break up with me beceause i opend up about my mentall health and i needed a therapist and he got angry at me and wanted to bring my house key back and after he made me cry he wasn't realy clear about what he wants but i said. That i needed to have a vieuw months and will fix myself but i felt so guilty all the time. But now i'm going to fix myself for myself and won't be his girlfriend anymore maybe if he takes my point of vieuw seriously and he goed into therapy. Or just stay friends but i don't want to see him all the time he said with the break up that he wanted to stay friends and maybe we can be together in the future when their is more respect for each other. I don't realy trust him anymore.
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Hmm my ex boyfriend he is a dismissive avoidant i noticed some emotional abusive signals i felt realy depressed and always the bad one and i also felt that my insecurties where waponized against me. He triggers me all the time just pokeing at me and even when i react calm he said but you where annoyd with me and got angry and i said it's even better when i'm annoyd and respond in a normal way. But now i think he wanted to make me feel guilty for my reaction all the time he also called me toxic or that i have bordeline traits i might have because as a fearfull avoidant my wounds are brining up at the core now. I'ts very unhealthy. I had times i was emotionaly dysregulated 3 times a week and that can hit you hard very hard. Now i see what is happening he wanted to break up with me beceause i opend up about my mentall health and i needed a therapist and he got angry at me and wanted to bring my house key back and after he made me cry he wasn't realy clear about what he wants but i said. That i needed to have a vieuw months and will fix myself but i felt so guilty all the time. But now i'm going to fix myself for myself and won't be his girlfriend anymore maybe if he takes my point of vieuw seriously and he goed into therapy. Or just stay friends but i don't want to see him all the time he said with the break up that he wanted to stay friends and maybe we can be together in the future when their is more respect for each other. I don't realy trust him anymore.
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Cecy
The longer I'm alive, and the more I know about myself and others, the more I think that using these sorts of labels is actually a symptom of you having the disorder or inflicting abuse. Dealing healthily with an abusive person (who feels that they have to hurt you because they feel hurt) may even look like it fits these symptoms, when they are truly being narcissistic.
Examples:
If you don't agree with how they view things, they will say that you are not validating they're feelings. If you make a joke about life or yourself and they take it as being about themselves. If you compliment someone else and they see it as a veiled criticism of them. If they ask your opinion about something they like and you voice anything less than complete enthusiasm and love for it. If you try to share how you feel but they don't want to hear it because what you've done isn't allowed to have an explanation. If you hold your tongue because you know that sharing your opinion or even your own feelings will be seen as wrong and hurtful to them.
All of those things could be construed as being each of the things on this list. I think we all need to take a good look to see if we are actually the ones being emotionally abusive, or more likely, there is some level of mutual abuse going on.
The bully is the victim they say. By some sense, they're all the same.
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The longer I'm alive, and the more I know about myself and others, the more I think that using these sorts of labels is actually a symptom of you having the disorder or inflicting abuse. Dealing healthily with an abusive person (who feels that they have to hurt you because they feel hurt) may even look like it fits these symptoms, when they are truly being narcissistic.
Examples:
If you don't agree with how they view things, they will say that you are not validating they're feelings. If you make a joke about life or yourself and they take it as being about themselves. If you compliment someone else and they see it as a veiled criticism of them. If they ask your opinion about something they like and you voice anything less than complete enthusiasm and love for it. If you try to share how you feel but they don't want to hear it because what you've done isn't allowed to have an explanation. If you hold your tongue because you know that sharing your opinion or even your own feelings will be seen as wrong and hurtful to them.
All of those things could be construed as being each of the things on this list. I think we all need to take a good look to see if we are actually the ones being emotionally abusive, or more likely, there is some level of mutual abuse going on.
The bully is the victim they say. By some sense, they're all the same.
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Hailey
I looked this up because Im worried Im emotionally abusing my brother. Im worried I got some abusive tendencies from my parents. Ive been trying to work through it. Ive been trying to be open, recognize feelings, not make fun of him or humiliate him on purpose.
I have had meltdowns and shutdowns in the past due to my ASD and trauma in the past but Im doing anything I can to be emotionally healthy and not get to that point. I also struggle with it but Im trying to work on emotional communication but its difficult for me because I struggle with conflict and sometimes I worry Ill say something that hurts them. Which is why I got a therapist to help me cope with smaller things and find the real cause.
That all being said Im still worried about him. He has a good grasp on mental health so many people still go to him. Hes also been working a lot. We can hang out as much because of this and though it feels bad, but Ive been respecting it. He needs his space like most normal people and hes dealing with alot. The thing is, I don want him to go through it alone though. Dose anyone have advice on how I could support him while hes supporting others? Im going to give him space but I still want to be there for him. I dont know what to say in the rare moments he is able to spend time with me.
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I looked this up because Im worried Im emotionally abusing my brother. Im worried I got some abusive tendencies from my parents. Ive been trying to work through it. Ive been trying to be open, recognize feelings, not make fun of him or humiliate him on purpose.
I have had meltdowns and shutdowns in the past due to my ASD and trauma in the past but Im doing anything I can to be emotionally healthy and not get to that point. I also struggle with it but Im trying to work on emotional communication but its difficult for me because I struggle with conflict and sometimes I worry Ill say something that hurts them. Which is why I got a therapist to help me cope with smaller things and find the real cause.
That all being said Im still worried about him. He has a good grasp on mental health so many people still go to him. Hes also been working a lot. We can hang out as much because of this and though it feels bad, but Ive been respecting it. He needs his space like most normal people and hes dealing with alot. The thing is, I don want him to go through it alone though. Dose anyone have advice on how I could support him while hes supporting others? Im going to give him space but I still want to be there for him. I dont know what to say in the rare moments he is able to spend time with me.
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Dok
Hello, so i have a question, me and my girlfriend have had an argument about a week ago. She was really mad and cold. She didnt want to tell me why. Whenever i texted her if she wanted to talk she would just give short and dry responses, so I figured she might need some time for herself until she was ready to talk. The next day she seemed to be even more angry and asked if I was ignoring her on purpose. I said that I didnt text her because she didnt seem interested in talking what so ever. that seemed to make her even angrier. We agreed to meet later since we wanted to learn some maths and because we still wanted to hang out. So i got home asked her if she was home and what she was doing (the usual) i didnt get a reply, so i decided to wait for her to text me that i could come over since we always did it that way. But she never did, she only texted me later that day that she was hurt, that i was being cold for no reason that i was an asshole and that she regretted ever meeting me. we obviously did talk and she said that she only said it because she was really mad and hurt in that moment.
I am unsury what i should do better. to prevent these situations in the future. Or if I am just a toxic person without even realizing it.
Help/ advice would be appriciated, thanks for reading: )
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Hello, so i have a question, me and my girlfriend have had an argument about a week ago. She was really mad and cold. She didnt want to tell me why. Whenever i texted her if she wanted to talk she would just give short and dry responses, so I figured she might need some time for herself until she was ready to talk. The next day she seemed to be even more angry and asked if I was ignoring her on purpose. I said that I didnt text her because she didnt seem interested in talking what so ever. that seemed to make her even angrier. We agreed to meet later since we wanted to learn some maths and because we still wanted to hang out. So i got home asked her if she was home and what she was doing (the usual) i didnt get a reply, so i decided to wait for her to text me that i could come over since we always did it that way. But she never did, she only texted me later that day that she was hurt, that i was being cold for no reason that i was an asshole and that she regretted ever meeting me. we obviously did talk and she said that she only said it because she was really mad and hurt in that moment.
I am unsury what i should do better. to prevent these situations in the future. Or if I am just a toxic person without even realizing it.
Help/ advice would be appriciated, thanks for reading: )
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Nstor
I am in an extreme deep pain because I recognise myself in this things.
I have pure OCD, so maybe its also my mind telling me Im the evil one to scare me? It feels so bad to not have an idea.
I really REALLY really really dont want to abuse like this from my partner. I sometimes scream to her, sometimes this things have happened, although Im not sure exactly like this. I really just want to be a good person and give her what she deserves. It hurts really a lot, I dont know if I can change it. maybe I should split up and let her find someone who isnt like that, but she has told me a miiiiillion times that she doesnt want to split up. That sometimes we have rough patches, but that she really loves me and wants to be with me. I have told her a million times, crying: ''Are you sure you dont want to split up, honey? Maybe you would feel much better without me. Please, dont worry if it is like that, I just want you to be happy. '' But she says no all the time, so. I felt like I couldnt take the decission for her, right?
Maybe I should just do it. Im very confused and very sad.
Thanks a lot for the video. I think I needed it.
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I am in an extreme deep pain because I recognise myself in this things.
I have pure OCD, so maybe its also my mind telling me Im the evil one to scare me? It feels so bad to not have an idea.
I really REALLY really really dont want to abuse like this from my partner. I sometimes scream to her, sometimes this things have happened, although Im not sure exactly like this. I really just want to be a good person and give her what she deserves. It hurts really a lot, I dont know if I can change it. maybe I should split up and let her find someone who isnt like that, but she has told me a miiiiillion times that she doesnt want to split up. That sometimes we have rough patches, but that she really loves me and wants to be with me. I have told her a million times, crying: ''Are you sure you dont want to split up, honey? Maybe you would feel much better without me. Please, dont worry if it is like that, I just want you to be happy. '' But she says no all the time, so. I felt like I couldnt take the decission for her, right?
Maybe I should just do it. Im very confused and very sad.
Thanks a lot for the video. I think I needed it.
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Menacetosociety
I honestly used to be really mean in 7th and 8th grade and most of freshman year. I used to constantly downplay my friends, insult them for no reason, make jokes at their expense, and I was really annoying. Then on spring break, I realized just how lonely I was and thought that it was because I was so mean to my friends. So I decided to change and make an effort to be a nicer person. It actually feels really nice, but my friends sometimes make jokes about how mean I used to be. Im glad they just notice it tho. I wanna rebuild my relationships with my friends and hopefully actually get to hang out with them. Im really hoping that summer vacation wont be so lonely, but to be honest, it likely will. Still I really hope I get to make my relationships with my friends better and meet new people in the next three years.
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I honestly used to be really mean in 7th and 8th grade and most of freshman year. I used to constantly downplay my friends, insult them for no reason, make jokes at their expense, and I was really annoying. Then on spring break, I realized just how lonely I was and thought that it was because I was so mean to my friends. So I decided to change and make an effort to be a nicer person. It actually feels really nice, but my friends sometimes make jokes about how mean I used to be. Im glad they just notice it tho. I wanna rebuild my relationships with my friends and hopefully actually get to hang out with them. Im really hoping that summer vacation wont be so lonely, but to be honest, it likely will. Still I really hope I get to make my relationships with my friends better and meet new people in the next three years.
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Doug
Yea, I can be such a jerk sometimes. Luckily I don't do almost all of these. If someone is being totally ignorant to how I feel or how things really are I will get frustrated and call them an idiot once in a blue moon. It's typically my grandma. She has been a pretty severe narcissist since my birth but Its no excuse on my behalf but I'm only human. I feel like gaslighting is such a strange thing because it ends up both people claiming the other is crazy and doesn't know how things actually happened. I feel like it's very hard to not gaslight someone back when they gaslight you.
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Yea, I can be such a jerk sometimes. Luckily I don't do almost all of these. If someone is being totally ignorant to how I feel or how things really are I will get frustrated and call them an idiot once in a blue moon. It's typically my grandma. She has been a pretty severe narcissist since my birth but Its no excuse on my behalf but I'm only human. I feel like gaslighting is such a strange thing because it ends up both people claiming the other is crazy and doesn't know how things actually happened. I feel like it's very hard to not gaslight someone back when they gaslight you.
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Witch
I feel like this can be a coping mechanism for people who were bullied themselves. I definitely have been through emotional abuse and it can cause a standard of behavior in the abused person's life. You start to not trust people anymore. You feel like this is the only way to act and it's painful. Seriously thought I had no reason to live because of how horrible people were to me, friends and family. That's why it's so imperative to grow resilient and give yourself what you need and actually put others second. Nobody needs to be close to you who acts this way.
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I feel like this can be a coping mechanism for people who were bullied themselves. I definitely have been through emotional abuse and it can cause a standard of behavior in the abused person's life. You start to not trust people anymore. You feel like this is the only way to act and it's painful. Seriously thought I had no reason to live because of how horrible people were to me, friends and family. That's why it's so imperative to grow resilient and give yourself what you need and actually put others second. Nobody needs to be close to you who acts this way.
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Nem
Here's a psychology tip. A high pitched female voice is the worst choice to narrate a video. It's been proven that men listen to male and female voices with a different part of their brains. When a female is explaining, the same brain area activates as when listening to music. It takes serious effort for a man to focus attention on a high pitched voice for a prolonged time, because they have to repeat everything in their heads, much like when trying to understand lyrics in a song. A large portion of the information is lost. After some time, it's even annoying.
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Here's a psychology tip. A high pitched female voice is the worst choice to narrate a video. It's been proven that men listen to male and female voices with a different part of their brains. When a female is explaining, the same brain area activates as when listening to music. It takes serious effort for a man to focus attention on a high pitched voice for a prolonged time, because they have to repeat everything in their heads, much like when trying to understand lyrics in a song. A large portion of the information is lost. After some time, it's even annoying.
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Al
Thank you for even having this content available so we can reflect and be the best versions of ourselves. I know my behaviour isn't justified although my emotions are valid it doesn't forfeit my responsibility to control my actions. I know this and it pains me to say I still react in ways I shouldn't. The guilt is causing me to become self destructive again and one of the ways I try and stay on an honourable path is to digest content that brings awareness to my own faults and how to best approach situations that may arise the demons in me.
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Thank you for even having this content available so we can reflect and be the best versions of ourselves. I know my behaviour isn't justified although my emotions are valid it doesn't forfeit my responsibility to control my actions. I know this and it pains me to say I still react in ways I shouldn't. The guilt is causing me to become self destructive again and one of the ways I try and stay on an honourable path is to digest content that brings awareness to my own faults and how to best approach situations that may arise the demons in me.
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Psych2Go
Trigger warning & Disclaimer: If you recognize yourself in any of these examples, please know this was not posted to shame, hurt, or trigger you. Seeing yourself in these behaviors does not automatically make you a bad person or evil. Rather, seeing yourself in these behaviors means you are able to look at yourself and figure out whether you want to change how you deal with the people in your lives. If the material in this video is too triggering or painful for you, please honor yourself, even if it means not watching further.
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Trigger warning & Disclaimer: If you recognize yourself in any of these examples, please know this was not posted to shame, hurt, or trigger you. Seeing yourself in these behaviors does not automatically make you a bad person or evil. Rather, seeing yourself in these behaviors means you are able to look at yourself and figure out whether you want to change how you deal with the people in your lives. If the material in this video is too triggering or painful for you, please honor yourself, even if it means not watching further.
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Michael
Thank you so much for this. My wife does all but one of these things (spontaneous button pushing, and even went as far as to tell me it was all in my head when I called out her hitting on another man in front of me by stating that everyone was having a good time, and youre blowing it out of proportion.
Videos like this allow me to keep my mind grounded in reality, and Im working on an exit strategy now to get away with my daughter since shes 11 (nearly 12) and said she wants to go live with me too.
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Thank you so much for this. My wife does all but one of these things (spontaneous button pushing, and even went as far as to tell me it was all in my head when I called out her hitting on another man in front of me by stating that everyone was having a good time, and youre blowing it out of proportion.
Videos like this allow me to keep my mind grounded in reality, and Im working on an exit strategy now to get away with my daughter since shes 11 (nearly 12) and said she wants to go live with me too.
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RyeBread
Its tricky. My therapist and family says I was emotionally abused by my ex. Yet my ex says Im abusive and controlling - mostly because I wouldnt let him talk to women he used to like and I asked him to go to therapy. I dont do any of these things my ex did however. I had to leave him because he broke my trust. yet I doubt myself because what my ex said I took to heart -he also said other mean things about me. Im confused on what to believe.
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Its tricky. My therapist and family says I was emotionally abused by my ex. Yet my ex says Im abusive and controlling - mostly because I wouldnt let him talk to women he used to like and I asked him to go to therapy. I dont do any of these things my ex did however. I had to leave him because he broke my trust. yet I doubt myself because what my ex said I took to heart -he also said other mean things about me. Im confused on what to believe.
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Cassius
The Silent Treatment is a tricky one.
It's always _damaging, _ sure, (I was on the receiving end of the stonewalling) but how much of that you can actually blame on the other person depends on a whole lot.
It's really _popular_ to attribute this to narcissism or whatever, but maybe they're just avoidant and/or scared.
Not justifying it by any means, but. healing through empathy and all that.
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The Silent Treatment is a tricky one.
It's always _damaging, _ sure, (I was on the receiving end of the stonewalling) but how much of that you can actually blame on the other person depends on a whole lot.
It's really _popular_ to attribute this to narcissism or whatever, but maybe they're just avoidant and/or scared.
Not justifying it by any means, but. healing through empathy and all that.
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yunia
Well I'm not the girl who is the abusive one but one of my ver best friend I just realize that. I always thought it was just a bad joke or maybe I'm being too overreacting or I'm a party pooper. So to everyone who is just like me please tell should I trope her or should I try and change her to a better person also about the silence I had an ex who was very rude or toxic so yea. I need therapy
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Well I'm not the girl who is the abusive one but one of my ver best friend I just realize that. I always thought it was just a bad joke or maybe I'm being too overreacting or I'm a party pooper. So to everyone who is just like me please tell should I trope her or should I try and change her to a better person also about the silence I had an ex who was very rude or toxic so yea. I need therapy
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Tianna
I dont understand why Ive had these toxic traits since I was 16. Or more so specifically since Ive dated guys. Now Im 22 and its gotten worse and I can snap at almost anyone. A lot of the time for not reason? I know Im wrong for it AFTER Im mad but not during. I just know I want usually to hurt myself either mentally physically afterwards. Like a form of punishment for what I said or did.
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I dont understand why Ive had these toxic traits since I was 16. Or more so specifically since Ive dated guys. Now Im 22 and its gotten worse and I can snap at almost anyone. A lot of the time for not reason? I know Im wrong for it AFTER Im mad but not during. I just know I want usually to hurt myself either mentally physically afterwards. Like a form of punishment for what I said or did.
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Yahrill
This is good information but the understanding that it is different realities going on simultaneously is some bs there is only 1 truth the difference comes in perspective but the point of truth get lost in imagination. We gotta steer clear of peoples imagination being cast as reality. Natural vs normal. Things become normal even though they may not be natural so we gotta watch out.
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This is good information but the understanding that it is different realities going on simultaneously is some bs there is only 1 truth the difference comes in perspective but the point of truth get lost in imagination. We gotta steer clear of peoples imagination being cast as reality. Natural vs normal. Things become normal even though they may not be natural so we gotta watch out.
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Breaker
I do not think you can not please everyone. I think no matter what you do someone will always be offended. I think you should just live your life the best way you know how and try to make small improvements along the way. I do not think hurting some ones feelings always means you are emotionally abusive. The people who like you for you will do so, and the one who don't wont.
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I do not think you can not please everyone. I think no matter what you do someone will always be offended. I think you should just live your life the best way you know how and try to make small improvements along the way. I do not think hurting some ones feelings always means you are emotionally abusive. The people who like you for you will do so, and the one who don't wont.
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Ferocity
I have been Emotionally abused by many people and since I don't talk to anyone about my situations, I bottle up my emotions- I really do related to all seven signs because I've been through so much with so many people that I begin to think and ask people if I'm a bad person when I do get angry at them. I wish I could start over five years and make those years more happier.
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I have been Emotionally abused by many people and since I don't talk to anyone about my situations, I bottle up my emotions- I really do related to all seven signs because I've been through so much with so many people that I begin to think and ask people if I'm a bad person when I do get angry at them. I wish I could start over five years and make those years more happier.
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Richard
It helps me understand a little, my wife before she just left would do a lot of these things when we would argue or when other people were around. No admittedly I lost my temper and thought I was going nuts when these would happen. I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong. I loved my wife 30 years together and then poof gone. Struggling for sure
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It helps me understand a little, my wife before she just left would do a lot of these things when we would argue or when other people were around. No admittedly I lost my temper and thought I was going nuts when these would happen. I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong. I loved my wife 30 years together and then poof gone. Struggling for sure
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Fructose
To be honest, literally almost _everyone_ I meet does one or two of these things on occasion. We aren't perfect. The point is to recognize these behaviors, realize they aren't healthy, and try to better yourself. It only seriously becomes a problem if it turns into a habit and the person committing them refuses to admit they might have a problem.
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To be honest, literally almost _everyone_ I meet does one or two of these things on occasion. We aren't perfect. The point is to recognize these behaviors, realize they aren't healthy, and try to better yourself. It only seriously becomes a problem if it turns into a habit and the person committing them refuses to admit they might have a problem.
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dleer
question how do I covertly send these kinds of videos to someone (or at least put them in a position where theyll be incentivised to watch them) without making it seem like Im calling them out, being snarky, or antagonising them, and not triggering another one of their tantrums or putting them in a bad mood?
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question how do I covertly send these kinds of videos to someone (or at least put them in a position where theyll be incentivised to watch them) without making it seem like Im calling them out, being snarky, or antagonising them, and not triggering another one of their tantrums or putting them in a bad mood?
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Positive
I understand that stonewalling is a thing, but if you have tried communicating and told them you need your peace to recuperate or just to think and they get mad at you for that, you literally have no choice but to go silent. They are not respectful of your boundaries that you have clearly set.
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I understand that stonewalling is a thing, but if you have tried communicating and told them you need your peace to recuperate or just to think and they get mad at you for that, you literally have no choice but to go silent. They are not respectful of your boundaries that you have clearly set.
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Silly
I feel so bad for being such a bed person,
but I think it just suits me.
I grew up being treated like that so It's hard to not treat others the same way.
I know I am wrong, but still I fight for my own reasons.
Some people never change, do they: ')
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I feel so bad for being such a bed person,
but I think it just suits me.
I grew up being treated like that so It's hard to not treat others the same way.
I know I am wrong, but still I fight for my own reasons.
Some people never change, do they: ')
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Presidents
Not all fingers are the same! Identical twins have differences in personality or behaviors!
If a man shows a sign like trying to punch you or trying to slap you it shows that when they get upset they can physically abuse you!
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Not all fingers are the same! Identical twins have differences in personality or behaviors!
If a man shows a sign like trying to punch you or trying to slap you it shows that when they get upset they can physically abuse you!
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