5 Signs Youve Outgrown Your Friendship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
psych2go
In 10th grade I met two 9th grader folks in the Philosophy club at our school. One of them was reading a book that I liked and I wondered if they were queer because it was a gay romance themed book. We immediately started talking and then after I met some of their classmates I found myself in their class enjoying our time together every single break! Back then I didn't have many friends from my own grade and the things they talked about didn't really interest me that much. I realized I could communicate better with people who were adults or a little younger than me.
This year during the summer course there were only 11th graders like me and I got to meet a few people who were newcomers. We're close this year but we share different things than what we did with my old friends. I made both groups meet by coincidence and they generally know each other. We sometimes eat lunch together too but I feel like that's all.
It didn't change so quickly though. I would visit their class almost every break time still but I felt like they didn't really care about me coming much anymore.
Once I went there with one of my same-age friends and she asked me why I would go there everytime though they never came to my class.
And then, I started to question.
Well, last year we were on the same floor so it was easy to visit each other but this year I'm two floors above them and I have to both go down and up (which takes about 5 minutes) and I only get 5 minutes to talk to them which mostly felt awkward and unconfortable though I didn't want it to be that way so I stopped going.
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In 10th grade I met two 9th grader folks in the Philosophy club at our school. One of them was reading a book that I liked and I wondered if they were queer because it was a gay romance themed book. We immediately started talking and then after I met some of their classmates I found myself in their class enjoying our time together every single break! Back then I didn't have many friends from my own grade and the things they talked about didn't really interest me that much. I realized I could communicate better with people who were adults or a little younger than me.
This year during the summer course there were only 11th graders like me and I got to meet a few people who were newcomers. We're close this year but we share different things than what we did with my old friends. I made both groups meet by coincidence and they generally know each other. We sometimes eat lunch together too but I feel like that's all.
It didn't change so quickly though. I would visit their class almost every break time still but I felt like they didn't really care about me coming much anymore.
Once I went there with one of my same-age friends and she asked me why I would go there everytime though they never came to my class.
And then, I started to question.
Well, last year we were on the same floor so it was easy to visit each other but this year I'm two floors above them and I have to both go down and up (which takes about 5 minutes) and I only get 5 minutes to talk to them which mostly felt awkward and unconfortable though I didn't want it to be that way so I stopped going.
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Eric
Here is the most painful truth in life. Most best friends are from when you were struggling in life. They were either in the same shoes as you, or slightly better off. They come along and give you a hand and comfort, and for that you are grateful. But when your life turn around, and you start succeeding, but your best friend don't succeed, you will be surprised how many of them leaves.
They just can't take it, their jealousy got the better of them. You will start hearing hints of them not happy for your success. They want to put you back into your old place. They want to show you how bad you still are. etc. Or they view you are a show-off and rude (You weren't even trying to be rude, you don't have to. Your successes naturally make you sound like a show-off to them, a threat to their self-confidence. They will pay close to attention to every single thing you do, say, or think, and trash talk all of them, give you a shot any chance they could to bring you back down. You will feel more and more uncomfortable hanging out with them. That is true, because they feel more and more uncomfortable being with you and your successes, even if you don't do anything rude. Before when you were a failure, they know how to handle you, but now they don't. Now your mere presences offend them, because you remind them of their own failures and shortcomings.
You of course value that friendship, because they helped you out when you are down. But they cannot be there with you on your way up. So you must leave them.
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Here is the most painful truth in life. Most best friends are from when you were struggling in life. They were either in the same shoes as you, or slightly better off. They come along and give you a hand and comfort, and for that you are grateful. But when your life turn around, and you start succeeding, but your best friend don't succeed, you will be surprised how many of them leaves.
They just can't take it, their jealousy got the better of them. You will start hearing hints of them not happy for your success. They want to put you back into your old place. They want to show you how bad you still are. etc. Or they view you are a show-off and rude (You weren't even trying to be rude, you don't have to. Your successes naturally make you sound like a show-off to them, a threat to their self-confidence. They will pay close to attention to every single thing you do, say, or think, and trash talk all of them, give you a shot any chance they could to bring you back down. You will feel more and more uncomfortable hanging out with them. That is true, because they feel more and more uncomfortable being with you and your successes, even if you don't do anything rude. Before when you were a failure, they know how to handle you, but now they don't. Now your mere presences offend them, because you remind them of their own failures and shortcomings.
You of course value that friendship, because they helped you out when you are down. But they cannot be there with you on your way up. So you must leave them.
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Candee
Im currently feeling like my friendship with my one friend is falling apart because, I feel like whenever we talk she doesn't really care what I have to say. We don't see each other as much, only once a month but lately she been lagging on me so hard and I feel like im the only one who puts in an effort. I always invite her to my place or to restaurants/bars but never invited me to come to her place or go to outings with her. And I have this urge to twll her directly how I have been feeling ans telling her that maybe we are no longer compatible. She has a lot more friends than I do. But knowing how she is, I know she will beg and cry for our friendship to be intact but the thing is I want a friendship that will make me feel appreciated and validated like how I always appreciate and validate her. I sort of feel a little guilty because we been friends for so many years, since Kindergarten and we are currently 26 yrs old. I feel weird that i can't really be open with my emotions with her anymore.
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Im currently feeling like my friendship with my one friend is falling apart because, I feel like whenever we talk she doesn't really care what I have to say. We don't see each other as much, only once a month but lately she been lagging on me so hard and I feel like im the only one who puts in an effort. I always invite her to my place or to restaurants/bars but never invited me to come to her place or go to outings with her. And I have this urge to twll her directly how I have been feeling ans telling her that maybe we are no longer compatible. She has a lot more friends than I do. But knowing how she is, I know she will beg and cry for our friendship to be intact but the thing is I want a friendship that will make me feel appreciated and validated like how I always appreciate and validate her. I sort of feel a little guilty because we been friends for so many years, since Kindergarten and we are currently 26 yrs old. I feel weird that i can't really be open with my emotions with her anymore.
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waaw
Well in my case, i met a friend in 2020 that like, WE HAD SOOOO MUCH on common, we lived on the same country, the same age, the same likes and everything and our friendship was going well. until he started to treat me like a slave 2 years after, i was like: Hey want me to help you with that? and he was like: ok. and when i was taking too long he was like: DUDE WHY YOU TAKING SO LONG IDIOT. and i was like: bruh. im just tryna help you bro whats wrong. so now i just couldnt handle it because that happened to me so many times, he made me lose friends, he made my friends hate me, he also stole some of my friends and i was just sad man so i just couldnt handle it anymore that i was just crying so i just had to stop being friend with him and he bullied me when i said to stop being friends, so thats the story. man i miss how he was in the past ):
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Well in my case, i met a friend in 2020 that like, WE HAD SOOOO MUCH on common, we lived on the same country, the same age, the same likes and everything and our friendship was going well. until he started to treat me like a slave 2 years after, i was like: Hey want me to help you with that? and he was like: ok. and when i was taking too long he was like: DUDE WHY YOU TAKING SO LONG IDIOT. and i was like: bruh. im just tryna help you bro whats wrong. so now i just couldnt handle it because that happened to me so many times, he made me lose friends, he made my friends hate me, he also stole some of my friends and i was just sad man so i just couldnt handle it anymore that i was just crying so i just had to stop being friend with him and he bullied me when i said to stop being friends, so thats the story. man i miss how he was in the past ):
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RocketVet
Fighting the feeling of needing to disappear and vanish from my entire friend circle and either keep to myself or start over. It's an endless cycle. I don't have a single friend I've ever kept. I'm sure it's me, I'm just not the right kind of person for friends or relationships - eventually everyone leaves or I end up feeling excluded and can't patch anything up without it feeling weird from then on and leave on my own - people will just ignore me until I go away. I thought I was doing better a while after my wife of 11 years left me because I made new friends and it's just the same cycle again, each time my trust in others and confidence in myself takes another hit. My self esteem is almost non-existent at this point which of course is even more reason for anyone to avoid me. I am poison.
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Fighting the feeling of needing to disappear and vanish from my entire friend circle and either keep to myself or start over. It's an endless cycle. I don't have a single friend I've ever kept. I'm sure it's me, I'm just not the right kind of person for friends or relationships - eventually everyone leaves or I end up feeling excluded and can't patch anything up without it feeling weird from then on and leave on my own - people will just ignore me until I go away. I thought I was doing better a while after my wife of 11 years left me because I made new friends and it's just the same cycle again, each time my trust in others and confidence in myself takes another hit. My self esteem is almost non-existent at this point which of course is even more reason for anyone to avoid me. I am poison.
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Triana
I have just message to my friend, Justin, a long message, asking him what hes up to for Christmas. Usually, hes very very chatty, even if its been a while since weve spoken, I check on our friendship, and he still becomes chatty, but today, I started to see a more blunt side of him, try talking about the past, and I got no response. Try to keep the conversation going, and the response does sound a bit like less energetic and more blunt. Im really scared, because hes been my friend since I was a little kid, and even when I was 21 he was still my friend, now Im 25 years old, and even though my things have changed, we like different things completely totally different, and we live different lives, Im scared that this friendship is falling apart, Im really scared.
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I have just message to my friend, Justin, a long message, asking him what hes up to for Christmas. Usually, hes very very chatty, even if its been a while since weve spoken, I check on our friendship, and he still becomes chatty, but today, I started to see a more blunt side of him, try talking about the past, and I got no response. Try to keep the conversation going, and the response does sound a bit like less energetic and more blunt. Im really scared, because hes been my friend since I was a little kid, and even when I was 21 he was still my friend, now Im 25 years old, and even though my things have changed, we like different things completely totally different, and we live different lives, Im scared that this friendship is falling apart, Im really scared.
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SM
Im so so bad at making new friends.
The two friends I have made the first step in our friendship.
Now with one of them who used to be the only person I could be myself with is drifting away.
We used to hang out almost every day and always have fun and almost never were bored when we where together.
And now we barely spend time. This whole year she hung out twice and only saw us in school.
Its just not the same anymore last time we hung out it got awkward at some moments.
We used to just come to one of our houses and see what we can do when were there and now I feel like I gotta plan what there is to do before asking her.
It just scares me so much and I dont wanna lose her
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Im so so bad at making new friends.
The two friends I have made the first step in our friendship.
Now with one of them who used to be the only person I could be myself with is drifting away.
We used to hang out almost every day and always have fun and almost never were bored when we where together.
And now we barely spend time. This whole year she hung out twice and only saw us in school.
Its just not the same anymore last time we hung out it got awkward at some moments.
We used to just come to one of our houses and see what we can do when were there and now I feel like I gotta plan what there is to do before asking her.
It just scares me so much and I dont wanna lose her
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Ms
I've grown out of so many friendships in the last year. At first I was afraid of change and letting people go. And today another person left and I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. But it is precisely the hard times in which you make good decisions for yourself and stand up for your values that will reward us richly. You just have to believe that if you let go of people who no longer fit in, you'll make room for something new. We're making room for something wonderful, for someone better suited to us and who deserves us. and today I am no longer afraid, I trust in myself and my decisions. It's better to be alone than to have half-hearted friendships. We all deserve to be loved.
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I've grown out of so many friendships in the last year. At first I was afraid of change and letting people go. And today another person left and I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. But it is precisely the hard times in which you make good decisions for yourself and stand up for your values that will reward us richly. You just have to believe that if you let go of people who no longer fit in, you'll make room for something new. We're making room for something wonderful, for someone better suited to us and who deserves us. and today I am no longer afraid, I trust in myself and my decisions. It's better to be alone than to have half-hearted friendships. We all deserve to be loved.
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education
To be honest I think the friendship between me and my friend is really fading. None of us did anything to upset eachother, but we've talked a lot less and never made any plans to hang out. Also we have different interests and its hard to find things to talk about. I just grew out of the friend and kind of want to tell him that our friendship is fading, but I'm not sure if I should actually tell him this. Or if I should just show that I'm not interested in being friends anymore, because that's what I'm doing now.
If I decide to tell him I outgrew the friendship, I'm worried I will regret it since I don't really have many friends due to my shyness. I don't know what to do
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To be honest I think the friendship between me and my friend is really fading. None of us did anything to upset eachother, but we've talked a lot less and never made any plans to hang out. Also we have different interests and its hard to find things to talk about. I just grew out of the friend and kind of want to tell him that our friendship is fading, but I'm not sure if I should actually tell him this. Or if I should just show that I'm not interested in being friends anymore, because that's what I'm doing now.
If I decide to tell him I outgrew the friendship, I'm worried I will regret it since I don't really have many friends due to my shyness. I don't know what to do
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Sun_Disciple
Lately a good friend of mine just stopped talking to me I tried talking to them and doing our usual stuff when seeing each other but they just dont react and when I did try to talk or when I hang out with them with another group of friends it just seems like theyre annoyed or just seemed annoyed Ive seen them being smiling when talking to other people I know theyre going through something idk what tho they dont tell what it is which is fine but it just looks like to me that they just dont feel comfortable around me which if so then ok Ill just not talk to you but it could just be me overthinking and sure a hell hope its just me overthinking
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Lately a good friend of mine just stopped talking to me I tried talking to them and doing our usual stuff when seeing each other but they just dont react and when I did try to talk or when I hang out with them with another group of friends it just seems like theyre annoyed or just seemed annoyed Ive seen them being smiling when talking to other people I know theyre going through something idk what tho they dont tell what it is which is fine but it just looks like to me that they just dont feel comfortable around me which if so then ok Ill just not talk to you but it could just be me overthinking and sure a hell hope its just me overthinking
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Coo
I think I've outgrown my friendship with my childhood friend from 3rd grade. We hardly talk and hang out anymore and whenever we do talk (which is hardly ever anymore) the conversation feels forced and kind of shallow. I wonder if it's best to just let them go. It makes me sad but it feels like we have nothing in common. I've made new friends and stuff and have this one really awesome friend I talk to long distance. We're thinking of getting an apartment together when I move out of state next year to their state. I'd like to keep my friendship with my 3rd grade friend. But part of me is ok with letting them go.
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I think I've outgrown my friendship with my childhood friend from 3rd grade. We hardly talk and hang out anymore and whenever we do talk (which is hardly ever anymore) the conversation feels forced and kind of shallow. I wonder if it's best to just let them go. It makes me sad but it feels like we have nothing in common. I've made new friends and stuff and have this one really awesome friend I talk to long distance. We're thinking of getting an apartment together when I move out of state next year to their state. I'd like to keep my friendship with my 3rd grade friend. But part of me is ok with letting them go.
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BlackRose
3 days ago i have left my first real friendgroup and it's not something I wish to happen to any one. Seeing your best friends not hang out with you anymore or you feel left out every time you are with them is the worst feeling. Or when you needed them the most, they were not there because you didn't want to burden them with your problems is the worst feeling ever. The best thing I could do is when I find out that my friendship with them started to outgrow. I just left the group chat we had. I'm still young and I have a whole life in front of me. So instead of being sad I should live my life.
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3 days ago i have left my first real friendgroup and it's not something I wish to happen to any one. Seeing your best friends not hang out with you anymore or you feel left out every time you are with them is the worst feeling. Or when you needed them the most, they were not there because you didn't want to burden them with your problems is the worst feeling ever. The best thing I could do is when I find out that my friendship with them started to outgrow. I just left the group chat we had. I'm still young and I have a whole life in front of me. So instead of being sad I should live my life.
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juj
I just moved away from my hometown, I lived there for 14 years and I met a girl in pre school. We went to school together up until 7th grade. I honestly dont know what went wrong but there was just a few months of a weird gap where we barely talked. I still love her more than anything but I dont know if she feels the same. I just miss her and its making me feel like physically sad. Im just praying we both are friends for a long time. She definitely went through really bad deppression and had a lot of personal problems. I just dont know what happened. Just makes me hella confused and sad
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I just moved away from my hometown, I lived there for 14 years and I met a girl in pre school. We went to school together up until 7th grade. I honestly dont know what went wrong but there was just a few months of a weird gap where we barely talked. I still love her more than anything but I dont know if she feels the same. I just miss her and its making me feel like physically sad. Im just praying we both are friends for a long time. She definitely went through really bad deppression and had a lot of personal problems. I just dont know what happened. Just makes me hella confused and sad
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Isabel
In kindergarden i had a friend when looking back i really dont think she whas a good friend at all. Then i started school and met a new best friend, i have very good self-awerness but still to this day i blame that dumb broken plastik toy for making us grow apart. Then i got another friend not realy nice ether. And then a fourth that moved away, but she moved closer to to me and that whas the reason she changed school to another one that whas closer, because my school is 2 miles away from my house.
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In kindergarden i had a friend when looking back i really dont think she whas a good friend at all. Then i started school and met a new best friend, i have very good self-awerness but still to this day i blame that dumb broken plastik toy for making us grow apart. Then i got another friend not realy nice ether. And then a fourth that moved away, but she moved closer to to me and that whas the reason she changed school to another one that whas closer, because my school is 2 miles away from my house.
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Palindrome
Me and my best friend of six years have grown distant after going to separate schools. It always hurts because I try to reach out and plan get togethers, but they are always busy or they don't ever answer. It hurts to feel them drifting away because when we get together its like no time has passed at all, but today was my birthday and they didn't say anything, like they usually do. It hurts to know that our friendship has vanished, but I hope maybe in the future we can rekindle it.
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Me and my best friend of six years have grown distant after going to separate schools. It always hurts because I try to reach out and plan get togethers, but they are always busy or they don't ever answer. It hurts to feel them drifting away because when we get together its like no time has passed at all, but today was my birthday and they didn't say anything, like they usually do. It hurts to know that our friendship has vanished, but I hope maybe in the future we can rekindle it.
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Your
A friend of mine that i have known for over 5 years has been acting distant. Him and I would talk everyday for hours. Since the past few months he never responds, cancels on me and everytime i message him he just either ignores, says he will respond later and never does or just takes days to so. I dont want to loose him. I havent had the greatest friends but he means way too much to me to loose. He is like family to me i dont know what id do without him
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A friend of mine that i have known for over 5 years has been acting distant. Him and I would talk everyday for hours. Since the past few months he never responds, cancels on me and everytime i message him he just either ignores, says he will respond later and never does or just takes days to so. I dont want to loose him. I havent had the greatest friends but he means way too much to me to loose. He is like family to me i dont know what id do without him
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Rose
dsmp timestamps
thumbnail: wilbur
0: 01 dream (and among us character)
0: 23 green teletubby again
0: 50 wilbur again
1: 27 papers on wall: among us character, wilbur, dream
1: 51 wilbur under ponk's lemon tree
2: 18 maybe dream, george and karl
2: 53 left is wilbur, right is dnf
2: 57 wilbur again (hey guys do you think psych is a wilbur fan? idk, could be lol)
3: 09 revivebur/wilbur
3: 59 dream and among us character
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dsmp timestamps
thumbnail: wilbur
0: 01 dream (and among us character)
0: 23 green teletubby again
0: 50 wilbur again
1: 27 papers on wall: among us character, wilbur, dream
1: 51 wilbur under ponk's lemon tree
2: 18 maybe dream, george and karl
2: 53 left is wilbur, right is dnf
2: 57 wilbur again (hey guys do you think psych is a wilbur fan? idk, could be lol)
3: 09 revivebur/wilbur
3: 59 dream and among us character
reply
wiff
i just recently moved on from my old frndship grp, which was a trio. And many of you might already know how trio frndships end, with 2 ppl being closer to each other and the 3rd person being left out more often, and i was that 3rd person. But now i found 3 new frnds who r mus=ch more alike to me than the older ones, so now we r a grp of 4, and its a lot of fun to be with them!
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i just recently moved on from my old frndship grp, which was a trio. And many of you might already know how trio frndships end, with 2 ppl being closer to each other and the 3rd person being left out more often, and i was that 3rd person. But now i found 3 new frnds who r mus=ch more alike to me than the older ones, so now we r a grp of 4, and its a lot of fun to be with them!
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Conway
I was thinking about how some of the people I used to be insanely close with are now strangers that I don't even know if they're alive, if they have families, if they're married, what they do for a living, where they live, etc. Its weird. most of us have multiple friends that this has happened with over the years. Its kind of sad when you stop and think about it.
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I was thinking about how some of the people I used to be insanely close with are now strangers that I don't even know if they're alive, if they have families, if they're married, what they do for a living, where they live, etc. Its weird. most of us have multiple friends that this has happened with over the years. Its kind of sad when you stop and think about it.
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Aly
I have this one online friend who suddenly so busy with school and saying that he won't be able to message he needs to focus on studies. But it's like yoooo dude you could sacrifice 1 min out of your day just to check up on me. I myself was a full-time student AND working, but I still made time to check on friends like daily or weekly. No one is so busier than thou
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I have this one online friend who suddenly so busy with school and saying that he won't be able to message he needs to focus on studies. But it's like yoooo dude you could sacrifice 1 min out of your day just to check up on me. I myself was a full-time student AND working, but I still made time to check on friends like daily or weekly. No one is so busier than thou
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Macky
I've had a friend of 4 years who drifted away from me because we no longer have the same level of connection as from before, and that we have different conflicting values that is no longer beneficial to me and I think it's still beautiful and I don't blame myself for it. Not all friendships last forever, and that outgrowing them is a sign of maturity on your end.
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I've had a friend of 4 years who drifted away from me because we no longer have the same level of connection as from before, and that we have different conflicting values that is no longer beneficial to me and I think it's still beautiful and I don't blame myself for it. Not all friendships last forever, and that outgrowing them is a sign of maturity on your end.
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shanell
I've had this friend for 12 years now and we've never gotten into conflict but lately she's been making excuses to hang up on me whenever we talk and she's choosing people she just met over me a lot more often. It hurts so much and every time I try to tell her she always brushes it off. I dont know what to do anymore or if she even cares about this friendship.
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I've had this friend for 12 years now and we've never gotten into conflict but lately she's been making excuses to hang up on me whenever we talk and she's choosing people she just met over me a lot more often. It hurts so much and every time I try to tell her she always brushes it off. I dont know what to do anymore or if she even cares about this friendship.
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[V! rus]
I stop seeing one of my friends in person for almost 2 years, and we dont call each other as often as we used to, and when we do, our conversations are kind of the same I feel like were drifting apart. I dont want to drift apart I want to be friends forever he was the best friend I dont deserve we had the same interests and we planned so much
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I stop seeing one of my friends in person for almost 2 years, and we dont call each other as often as we used to, and when we do, our conversations are kind of the same I feel like were drifting apart. I dont want to drift apart I want to be friends forever he was the best friend I dont deserve we had the same interests and we planned so much
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Princess
If they do stuff without inviting you along, but they invite others in the friendship circle (happened to me and a former friend of mine, she invited everybody in our friendship circle but me, to her birthday party. I think it stemmed from me being unable to get her tickets to my theater show (I had no control over this, and told her this.
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If they do stuff without inviting you along, but they invite others in the friendship circle (happened to me and a former friend of mine, she invited everybody in our friendship circle but me, to her birthday party. I think it stemmed from me being unable to get her tickets to my theater show (I had no control over this, and told her this.
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ThatsJustParker
Today I realized it was over. Met him right out of high school. I felt myself saying yes to all of these. It's gonna take time to mourn, but I cut it off with him. He has different priorities, he's reliving some young fantasy, and chasing things that are self destructive. I don't have time/energy anymore for this.
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Today I realized it was over. Met him right out of high school. I felt myself saying yes to all of these. It's gonna take time to mourn, but I cut it off with him. He has different priorities, he's reliving some young fantasy, and chasing things that are self destructive. I don't have time/energy anymore for this.
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