7 Signs Your Parents are Gaslighting You
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
SpiderFae
my BEST friend and I stopped being friends. They kind of backstabbed me, and I had to hear about it from another friend. This happened id say almosy a year ago, and I cry about it so much. They were dealing with a lot so I was being a supportive friend and helping them through their hard time. While they were struggling, I also was but didnt tell them. Id constantly try to drop signs and hints that I wasnt okay and that I needed help desperately. Theres a lot more to this Thats probably important to this but Im not typing more than that for that. Anyways, were SO close for four years, then, they just dropped me. My parents were so fond of her, and were kind of mad at me when she left me. They will never understand the pain I deslt with. I hurt myself all the time over it. My parents arent the most understanding at all, and everytime id mention how extremely hurt I was theyd dismiss it. Theyve made me try to start isolating myself from them. Things have been so extremely difficult especially having to suffer in silence. I cant talk to them about anything at all without it somehow being turned on me in some way. I think theyre narcissistic, neglectful, and definitely trying to gaslight me. Honestly, I just want my parents to understand what Im going through without being insensitive about it. I really just want their validation and love.
Thank you for listening to my story
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my BEST friend and I stopped being friends. They kind of backstabbed me, and I had to hear about it from another friend. This happened id say almosy a year ago, and I cry about it so much. They were dealing with a lot so I was being a supportive friend and helping them through their hard time. While they were struggling, I also was but didnt tell them. Id constantly try to drop signs and hints that I wasnt okay and that I needed help desperately. Theres a lot more to this Thats probably important to this but Im not typing more than that for that. Anyways, were SO close for four years, then, they just dropped me. My parents were so fond of her, and were kind of mad at me when she left me. They will never understand the pain I deslt with. I hurt myself all the time over it. My parents arent the most understanding at all, and everytime id mention how extremely hurt I was theyd dismiss it. Theyve made me try to start isolating myself from them. Things have been so extremely difficult especially having to suffer in silence. I cant talk to them about anything at all without it somehow being turned on me in some way. I think theyre narcissistic, neglectful, and definitely trying to gaslight me. Honestly, I just want my parents to understand what Im going through without being insensitive about it. I really just want their validation and love.
Thank you for listening to my story
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linessadavram
Oof lol I recieved tripple whammy xD Bullied at school, told I'm too sensitive (ding) and that I (ding) make it too fun for them by over-reacting (ding) I ask why they won't talk to the school and Im being dramatic (ding, and accusing them of being bad parents (ding) but if I would just stop being so hyperactive I wouldn't get picked on (ding) And when someone else says I'm being bullied. they tell THEM that no I'm just supersensitive.
Fast forward to age 22, and I'm sharing a flat with my 'best friend' (a malignant narcissist who was actually my worst enemy but how was I to know with that upbringing) And I'm telling my mum how I'm being emotionally abused, and what does she say? It's not that bad. You're overreacting. : Only when she visited and the abuse impacted MUM did she finally realise it was for real. but then the narrative became I told you not to move in with her! I KNEW it wasn't going to go well.
: did her damndest to gaslight me into that being the truth.
Also, the jerks constantly told me off or disciplined me for being hyperactive but avoided getting me assessed for ADHD, thanks guys! Diagnosed at 39, life potential and learning coping skills wasted.
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Oof lol I recieved tripple whammy xD Bullied at school, told I'm too sensitive (ding) and that I (ding) make it too fun for them by over-reacting (ding) I ask why they won't talk to the school and Im being dramatic (ding, and accusing them of being bad parents (ding) but if I would just stop being so hyperactive I wouldn't get picked on (ding) And when someone else says I'm being bullied. they tell THEM that no I'm just supersensitive.
Fast forward to age 22, and I'm sharing a flat with my 'best friend' (a malignant narcissist who was actually my worst enemy but how was I to know with that upbringing) And I'm telling my mum how I'm being emotionally abused, and what does she say? It's not that bad. You're overreacting. : Only when she visited and the abuse impacted MUM did she finally realise it was for real. but then the narrative became I told you not to move in with her! I KNEW it wasn't going to go well.
: did her damndest to gaslight me into that being the truth.
Also, the jerks constantly told me off or disciplined me for being hyperactive but avoided getting me assessed for ADHD, thanks guys! Diagnosed at 39, life potential and learning coping skills wasted.
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Dakotah
when we were kids my twin sister would alwayss abuse me for amusement when her friends were around. This particular day she had allot of friends over while my mom was at work, and as a good host for people that werent even my friends, i decided to cook hamburgers for them. While it was cooking i did a handful of dishes and my sister decided to grab a spoonful of grease from the skillet and throw it on me, and she laughs like a maniac amd i lost it. I punched her in the jaw pretty hard and she went down in front of her friends. Then one attemptted to punch me but missed. None of them saw or knew what actually. Happened. My mom gets home from work and my mom whips me with a belt and it wrapped around my leg. And snapped on my balls. One of the worst pains in my life. I told her immediately but she kept hitting me. Then she slapped my sister but accidentally left her wedding ring on. My sister acted as if my mom was ttryingto kill her and my mom instantly went Omg im so sorry my baby giirl are u ok i didnt mean to hurtt you! My mom also told me she hates me ccuz my father wanted only girls, so when i was born he left her.
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when we were kids my twin sister would alwayss abuse me for amusement when her friends were around. This particular day she had allot of friends over while my mom was at work, and as a good host for people that werent even my friends, i decided to cook hamburgers for them. While it was cooking i did a handful of dishes and my sister decided to grab a spoonful of grease from the skillet and throw it on me, and she laughs like a maniac amd i lost it. I punched her in the jaw pretty hard and she went down in front of her friends. Then one attemptted to punch me but missed. None of them saw or knew what actually. Happened. My mom gets home from work and my mom whips me with a belt and it wrapped around my leg. And snapped on my balls. One of the worst pains in my life. I told her immediately but she kept hitting me. Then she slapped my sister but accidentally left her wedding ring on. My sister acted as if my mom was ttryingto kill her and my mom instantly went Omg im so sorry my baby giirl are u ok i didnt mean to hurtt you! My mom also told me she hates me ccuz my father wanted only girls, so when i was born he left her.
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BukowskiDelRey
i need some help. i have a mother that i didn't have a relationship with till i was around 20 years old (due to her ptsd from childhood, she was very aggressive, screamed in my face to the point she would foam at the mouth, and would throw things etc, this would happen even as a very very small child) anyways, i am now 38 and she is 60. i can never tell her any ideas or things i wanna do because she will just look at the negative of it all be overly pessimistic and then when i react by saying stop being so negative, i'll get remarks like is your period due, or that time of the month'. calm down stop being aggressive and i'm like huh, what who's aggressive i'm just airing my opinion. she will and always has blamed me for responding to her what i call jeykll and hyde personality. what would this be called. emotionally unstable, narcissism, gaslighting or all of thee above? the majority of the time i just can't stand being around her because she literally physically and mentally drains me.
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i need some help. i have a mother that i didn't have a relationship with till i was around 20 years old (due to her ptsd from childhood, she was very aggressive, screamed in my face to the point she would foam at the mouth, and would throw things etc, this would happen even as a very very small child) anyways, i am now 38 and she is 60. i can never tell her any ideas or things i wanna do because she will just look at the negative of it all be overly pessimistic and then when i react by saying stop being so negative, i'll get remarks like is your period due, or that time of the month'. calm down stop being aggressive and i'm like huh, what who's aggressive i'm just airing my opinion. she will and always has blamed me for responding to her what i call jeykll and hyde personality. what would this be called. emotionally unstable, narcissism, gaslighting or all of thee above? the majority of the time i just can't stand being around her because she literally physically and mentally drains me.
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battlefries
Shortly after my dog died, a friendly acquaintance who I was hoping to become full friends with died very suddenly. We were in colllege, and I was feeling very emotionally vulnerable. I called my parents (they were up the coast from me since I was out of state for school, and I asked to come home for a bit to take my mind off of things. They told me, No, your studies take priority. It didn't matter that I had already gotten permission from my teachers to take some time off, but my parents didn't even let me tell them that part before they had made their decision and laid down their law. They simply didn't believe me when I told them that I needed emotional support. To this day, they refuse to believe me whenever I tell them what I need. I'm in the unfortunate position of being financially dependent on these two well-meaning but horrifically abusive individuals.
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Shortly after my dog died, a friendly acquaintance who I was hoping to become full friends with died very suddenly. We were in colllege, and I was feeling very emotionally vulnerable. I called my parents (they were up the coast from me since I was out of state for school, and I asked to come home for a bit to take my mind off of things. They told me, No, your studies take priority. It didn't matter that I had already gotten permission from my teachers to take some time off, but my parents didn't even let me tell them that part before they had made their decision and laid down their law. They simply didn't believe me when I told them that I needed emotional support. To this day, they refuse to believe me whenever I tell them what I need. I'm in the unfortunate position of being financially dependent on these two well-meaning but horrifically abusive individuals.
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kittymittenz
My mom has been a good parent most of my life until I started showing mental illness symptoms. In the past year, she's told me I'm lazy, not trying, dramatic, and told me that I'm too much work and I've made her have to rearrange her entire life. When I tell her this hurts, she gets irrationally mad, and yells telling me that she's human too and she can't be perfect, and that I should be grateful that I have a parent who's doing their best. Every time I try to say that she hurt me, she tells me that she's allowed to, because she had a bad day, what I did was justified to be angry at. Usually what I did was just things related to my ADHD - not being able to focus, executive dysfunction, etc. But I've told myself that since she's nice sometimes too, she can't be that bad. I'm only just accepting that she could be abusive. This video helped me realize that.
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My mom has been a good parent most of my life until I started showing mental illness symptoms. In the past year, she's told me I'm lazy, not trying, dramatic, and told me that I'm too much work and I've made her have to rearrange her entire life. When I tell her this hurts, she gets irrationally mad, and yells telling me that she's human too and she can't be perfect, and that I should be grateful that I have a parent who's doing their best. Every time I try to say that she hurt me, she tells me that she's allowed to, because she had a bad day, what I did was justified to be angry at. Usually what I did was just things related to my ADHD - not being able to focus, executive dysfunction, etc. But I've told myself that since she's nice sometimes too, she can't be that bad. I'm only just accepting that she could be abusive. This video helped me realize that.
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education
Did I relate? Oh yes. I was never listened to. I was treated as if I had no valid feelings or opinions. I was not allowed to be friends with or go places with certain people because my mother didn't want to get to know them. Took one look at them, made assumptions and said no. My bully was my brother. If I tried to talk to my mom about it, it was downplayed and I was whining and being dramatic. Now as an adult, my mother still won't listen to how I feel having grown up in a toxic relationship with her and my brother. Him bullying, her not caring. She doesn't see situations where he has bullied me in my own home as an adult as bullying. Him screaming and cursing at me at the top of his lungs wasn't bullying. It was my fault for making a simple request of him or being bossy in her words. It's just a lot to deal with.
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Did I relate? Oh yes. I was never listened to. I was treated as if I had no valid feelings or opinions. I was not allowed to be friends with or go places with certain people because my mother didn't want to get to know them. Took one look at them, made assumptions and said no. My bully was my brother. If I tried to talk to my mom about it, it was downplayed and I was whining and being dramatic. Now as an adult, my mother still won't listen to how I feel having grown up in a toxic relationship with her and my brother. Him bullying, her not caring. She doesn't see situations where he has bullied me in my own home as an adult as bullying. Him screaming and cursing at me at the top of his lungs wasn't bullying. It was my fault for making a simple request of him or being bossy in her words. It's just a lot to deal with.
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stellc
I remember when my grandma told me that I'm almost aborted when I was still a child, she keeps telling me that I was saved by her and my grandpa and now I'm old, she keeps saying that because of her, I was educated, (where in fact I only graduated highschool) because of her I have a job (that i'm not happy about, and she lies to me everyday saying to honor my mama but she keeps telling me how ungrateful and pissed she is to my mom for disrespecting her. If God will give me another chance to choose a family, I won't choose them because it doesn't feel like home and it kills me everyday knowing that I will be stuck with them forever.
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I remember when my grandma told me that I'm almost aborted when I was still a child, she keeps telling me that I was saved by her and my grandpa and now I'm old, she keeps saying that because of her, I was educated, (where in fact I only graduated highschool) because of her I have a job (that i'm not happy about, and she lies to me everyday saying to honor my mama but she keeps telling me how ungrateful and pissed she is to my mom for disrespecting her. If God will give me another chance to choose a family, I won't choose them because it doesn't feel like home and it kills me everyday knowing that I will be stuck with them forever.
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Nedbrach
Man why are all these things true for me. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I mean Ive always wondered why I was always the problem, always blamed and also why my parent shift the topic when I want to talk with them seriosly. Also what I do is never good for them. irresponsible and lazy what I was always called. Also often times when I confront them about gaslighting me Im called straight up crazy and weird. Not only that but You need to go to a mental hospital or WHY ARE YOU SO UNGREATFUL. I just wish I can speak all the horrible things that I keep inside of me.
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Man why are all these things true for me. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I mean Ive always wondered why I was always the problem, always blamed and also why my parent shift the topic when I want to talk with them seriosly. Also what I do is never good for them. irresponsible and lazy what I was always called. Also often times when I confront them about gaslighting me Im called straight up crazy and weird. Not only that but You need to go to a mental hospital or WHY ARE YOU SO UNGREATFUL. I just wish I can speak all the horrible things that I keep inside of me.
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Jacob
I relate to all the signs of a parent gaslighting me. My father often gaslights me when I am frustrated over small stuff or take things personally. Being autistic, it is hard to regulate my emotions when something awful happens, which he doesn't understand much and thinks it is shit (sorry for the language. If I bring a problem to him, he gets angry and swears at me to brush it off, which makes the situation worse. This video really helped me, but most of the gaslighting happens when my father doesn't drink coffee and/or having a bad morning.
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I relate to all the signs of a parent gaslighting me. My father often gaslights me when I am frustrated over small stuff or take things personally. Being autistic, it is hard to regulate my emotions when something awful happens, which he doesn't understand much and thinks it is shit (sorry for the language. If I bring a problem to him, he gets angry and swears at me to brush it off, which makes the situation worse. This video really helped me, but most of the gaslighting happens when my father doesn't drink coffee and/or having a bad morning.
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xercon
My parents tick every box on that list, even now that I'm in my 30s.
I'd put most of their abuse behind me, but the pandemic forced me to move back to my hometown where I've started having to deal with their toxicity again for the first time in 15 years.
As a result, I've decided to cut them out of my life, because I'm just no longer willing to tolerate it, but it's very unpleasant having all of these very old wounds ripped back open.
Still, this video is nice because I finally feel like I'm not alone.
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My parents tick every box on that list, even now that I'm in my 30s.
I'd put most of their abuse behind me, but the pandemic forced me to move back to my hometown where I've started having to deal with their toxicity again for the first time in 15 years.
As a result, I've decided to cut them out of my life, because I'm just no longer willing to tolerate it, but it's very unpleasant having all of these very old wounds ripped back open.
Still, this video is nice because I finally feel like I'm not alone.
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Trap
My parents never say sorry ever im always the one to say sorry. And if i bring it up, they say, Stop and think about your actions, not others. im 23, and they still try to control me. When my bf broke up with me at first, they were nice and understanding, and then a week later, they told me to stop. im being dramatic. This hurt me by watching this as it opened my eyes because its so true. And my dad said the word gaslighting is a WOKE word! And doesn't believe its a real word nor is it true.
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My parents never say sorry ever im always the one to say sorry. And if i bring it up, they say, Stop and think about your actions, not others. im 23, and they still try to control me. When my bf broke up with me at first, they were nice and understanding, and then a week later, they told me to stop. im being dramatic. This hurt me by watching this as it opened my eyes because its so true. And my dad said the word gaslighting is a WOKE word! And doesn't believe its a real word nor is it true.
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kill
A lot of the times, they complain that I don't contribute to the household. I mean I can agree that sometimes I don't but sometimes I do yet they only ever look that the times that I haven't. It's like everything that I do doesn't matter unless if it benefits them.
I even told my mom that I'm worried about not having a job and then later she says that I don't have a job and I'm not helping out. Like yes, that is what I told you bit why bring it up to make me feel bad?
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A lot of the times, they complain that I don't contribute to the household. I mean I can agree that sometimes I don't but sometimes I do yet they only ever look that the times that I haven't. It's like everything that I do doesn't matter unless if it benefits them.
I even told my mom that I'm worried about not having a job and then later she says that I don't have a job and I'm not helping out. Like yes, that is what I told you bit why bring it up to make me feel bad?
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YMAS
My mum favourited my sister and I tried to talk to her a few times about how I felt and she just refused to listen and said its all in my head and another time I opened up to her about how down I was because I was struggling to get a job and the next argument we had she shouted your just upset that you can't get a job, like I was the issue that this argument started but how can someone throw something like that in someone's face so after that I refused to tell her anything
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My mum favourited my sister and I tried to talk to her a few times about how I felt and she just refused to listen and said its all in my head and another time I opened up to her about how down I was because I was struggling to get a job and the next argument we had she shouted your just upset that you can't get a job, like I was the issue that this argument started but how can someone throw something like that in someone's face so after that I refused to tell her anything
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qadri
I remember hurting my back during football practice and came home telling my mother about it, and she said its fine. It wasnt lol So when we were out in public one day, my back was hurting again and so I walked like how any normal person with a back pain walks which is bent over a little with my hand supporting my back. and when my mother saw that she started scolding me cos Im making people in public think she doesnt care or if she did that to me.
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I remember hurting my back during football practice and came home telling my mother about it, and she said its fine. It wasnt lol So when we were out in public one day, my back was hurting again and so I walked like how any normal person with a back pain walks which is bent over a little with my hand supporting my back. and when my mother saw that she started scolding me cos Im making people in public think she doesnt care or if she did that to me.
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BTS
After listening to all these points, i realized how my mother has been gaslighting me in an extremely toxic way. I hated these kind of behaviours of her but i didn't know the term for it. Now i know what she has been doing without even realizing it herself. But each and every point matches too well with her behaviours and i have known for a long time that she is very toxic and extremely controlling. I have been in so much depression because of it.
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After listening to all these points, i realized how my mother has been gaslighting me in an extremely toxic way. I hated these kind of behaviours of her but i didn't know the term for it. Now i know what she has been doing without even realizing it herself. But each and every point matches too well with her behaviours and i have known for a long time that she is very toxic and extremely controlling. I have been in so much depression because of it.
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Carter
My moms boyfriend jokes about my shyness and I do struggle with social anxiety and I told her one day about it that how I dont find it funny and I was uncomfortable and she just said that I was being sensitive and when I here that word it makes my skin crawl and she knows I struggle with this mental disorder like be a man and help us on what were struggling with mentally I dont think thats too much to ask
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My moms boyfriend jokes about my shyness and I do struggle with social anxiety and I told her one day about it that how I dont find it funny and I was uncomfortable and she just said that I was being sensitive and when I here that word it makes my skin crawl and she knows I struggle with this mental disorder like be a man and help us on what were struggling with mentally I dont think thats too much to ask
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Cheryl
These aren't gaslighting at all. Some of them are toxic behaviors, but not gaslighting. Some of the others just sound like typical teenage angst. There are a lot of emotionally unhealthy parents out there, but this girl seems to only want to fan the flames of teenage rebellion! She's clearly, inaccuratly, regurgitating info she's found online and is not actually educated in psychology or family dynamics.
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These aren't gaslighting at all. Some of them are toxic behaviors, but not gaslighting. Some of the others just sound like typical teenage angst. There are a lot of emotionally unhealthy parents out there, but this girl seems to only want to fan the flames of teenage rebellion! She's clearly, inaccuratly, regurgitating info she's found online and is not actually educated in psychology or family dynamics.
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qan
my dad stopped caring for me three years ago. he send horrible messages to my mom and threatens to sue and take legal action on us. i have seen every message sent and received. he doesn't respect me or my decisions at all and tries to manipulate my life into a life he wants. he also tries to gaslight me into thinking everything is my fault. a 42 y/o man gaslighting a 13 y/o boy.
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my dad stopped caring for me three years ago. he send horrible messages to my mom and threatens to sue and take legal action on us. i have seen every message sent and received. he doesn't respect me or my decisions at all and tries to manipulate my life into a life he wants. he also tries to gaslight me into thinking everything is my fault. a 42 y/o man gaslighting a 13 y/o boy.
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foreverindecisive
I tried to talk to my mom about the way she behaves when shes angry a couple years ago and she turned it into a screaming match, telling me that I was being dramatic, that other people have it way worse, and saying that I was the one gaslighting her before saying she was leaving and never coming back and drove away. I wont ever forget that, but I wish I could
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I tried to talk to my mom about the way she behaves when shes angry a couple years ago and she turned it into a screaming match, telling me that I was being dramatic, that other people have it way worse, and saying that I was the one gaslighting her before saying she was leaving and never coming back and drove away. I wont ever forget that, but I wish I could
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askew
They never just take your words - My son claimed he was bullied. I trusted him. Later psychiatrist asked me whether I did checked with school teacher whether what my son said is true. What do we call that? My son diagnosed with ADHD. Indeed he has challenges sometimes but my duty is to keep cultivate good values with him so that he will eventually learn the values.
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They never just take your words - My son claimed he was bullied. I trusted him. Later psychiatrist asked me whether I did checked with school teacher whether what my son said is true. What do we call that? My son diagnosed with ADHD. Indeed he has challenges sometimes but my duty is to keep cultivate good values with him so that he will eventually learn the values.
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DragonDG
once when they asked me to open up to them i told them that i think i might have adhd and they didnt want to listen to me they were just saying no you dont you cant have it its impossible and when i asked them why they just steered the converstation to something else
so is that a sign or something
and now they tell me why i never open up to then
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once when they asked me to open up to them i told them that i think i might have adhd and they didnt want to listen to me they were just saying no you dont you cant have it its impossible and when i asked them why they just steered the converstation to something else
so is that a sign or something
and now they tell me why i never open up to then
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education
The second one isn't true. You can limit your child's decisions without gaslighting them. It's possible you're making a mistake but you can calmly explain why you believe you cannot risk them going somewhere without supervision, that is your primary role, the risk of mistakes doesn't nulify it.
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The second one isn't true. You can limit your child's decisions without gaslighting them. It's possible you're making a mistake but you can calmly explain why you believe you cannot risk them going somewhere without supervision, that is your primary role, the risk of mistakes doesn't nulify it.
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AK
My parents act like technically they hate me and takes kind of pleasure from denying me any listening and ignoring me. I even told them that I am suicidal, they just tell me that I am just lazy. I really feel the urge to do it at least to tell them that I was going through this much.
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My parents act like technically they hate me and takes kind of pleasure from denying me any listening and ignoring me. I even told them that I am suicidal, they just tell me that I am just lazy. I really feel the urge to do it at least to tell them that I was going through this much.
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Waffelpokalypse
Me: expresses a desire for respect, clarity, or anything else that would genuinely improve communication
Parent: YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE HOW IM ALLOWED TO EXPRESS MYSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE IT.
Me: stops trying to communicate needs cuz I know its pointless
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Me: expresses a desire for respect, clarity, or anything else that would genuinely improve communication
Parent: YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE HOW IM ALLOWED TO EXPRESS MYSELF JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE IT.
Me: stops trying to communicate needs cuz I know its pointless
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