11 Smart Ways To Outsmart A Narcissist
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
TheCherryOnTop
Going no contact is probably the best advice. You're not sure you're dealing with a narcissist (the manipulation/gaslighting is no joke? Test how they react to a narcissist's least favorite word: NO.
I'm just asking you to do this one thing.
No.
Common narcissistic responses to a no, increasingly worse if you hold your ground:
But it's no big deal, why are you being so difficult?
It's your fault that I have to ask you this in the first place
If you weren't so selfish all the time
No wonder X person said you were
You should do this for me/you should always support me no matter what
If someone I love asked me to do it I would, so you don't love me
I'll hurt myself if you refuse
Bestie if any of the above rings a bell, you're dealing with a certified Narcissist TM. Nothing will test them more than you setting a boundary. They will test it every way they can trying to break your resolve. Hint: a healthy person will respect your boundaries even if they inconvenience them, and will accept and RESPECT your boundaries.
Now my advice is RUN. AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. I learned with blood sweat and tears through therapy that a narcissist will not change. My father is the culprit for me and going NC was the best decision I made.
Do not let them rope you in. They will use any tool they can to undermine you. I'm a grown woman now with a very strong self-esteem and a lot of awareness of narcissistic traits. Even now I know my father could manage to piss me off enough to act like I never would.
People who make your life a misery are not worth it. If you live constantly questioning yourself, are swimming in guilt, feel cheated because you apologised for something you don't feel you did wrong. do yourself a favor and gtfo. Distance will, with time, make you see the patterns that you can't if you're under their claws.
And remember that you're their victim. Nothing you did justifies their behaviour. It's a choice they made and you were the victim of that choice. Do not let a smidge of guilt convince you otherwise.
Much love for you if you're reading, from a recovered and very happy victim of a narcissist parent who firmly believes no contact is the only contact one should have with a narcissist.
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Going no contact is probably the best advice. You're not sure you're dealing with a narcissist (the manipulation/gaslighting is no joke? Test how they react to a narcissist's least favorite word: NO.
I'm just asking you to do this one thing.
No.
Common narcissistic responses to a no, increasingly worse if you hold your ground:
But it's no big deal, why are you being so difficult?
It's your fault that I have to ask you this in the first place
If you weren't so selfish all the time
No wonder X person said you were
You should do this for me/you should always support me no matter what
If someone I love asked me to do it I would, so you don't love me
I'll hurt myself if you refuse
Bestie if any of the above rings a bell, you're dealing with a certified Narcissist TM. Nothing will test them more than you setting a boundary. They will test it every way they can trying to break your resolve. Hint: a healthy person will respect your boundaries even if they inconvenience them, and will accept and RESPECT your boundaries.
Now my advice is RUN. AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. I learned with blood sweat and tears through therapy that a narcissist will not change. My father is the culprit for me and going NC was the best decision I made.
Do not let them rope you in. They will use any tool they can to undermine you. I'm a grown woman now with a very strong self-esteem and a lot of awareness of narcissistic traits. Even now I know my father could manage to piss me off enough to act like I never would.
People who make your life a misery are not worth it. If you live constantly questioning yourself, are swimming in guilt, feel cheated because you apologised for something you don't feel you did wrong. do yourself a favor and gtfo. Distance will, with time, make you see the patterns that you can't if you're under their claws.
And remember that you're their victim. Nothing you did justifies their behaviour. It's a choice they made and you were the victim of that choice. Do not let a smidge of guilt convince you otherwise.
Much love for you if you're reading, from a recovered and very happy victim of a narcissist parent who firmly believes no contact is the only contact one should have with a narcissist.
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Myrra
I recently broke off a close friendship with a suspected narcissist (who apparently told people she never considered me her best friend, despite all the things I have done for her.
Not only did she choose to confront me infront of an audience (after I told her its not the right time because its finals week, but she portrayed herself as a victim in the confrontation infront of people we know. She twisted my words, refused to take accountability, and said Im seeing it all wrong. I know Im not wrong because I was the one who had to pick up after her mess and drama.
Now, she has told everyone we know about what happened and made herself the victim, painting me as the bad guy. While I told nobody. Not even my family or other friends, out of respect to not disparage her. Thankfully, I still have two close friends who trust my side.
I dont know why I ranted here. Maybe with family stress, academic stress, and now this, I just needed somewhere to say this. (T/w: self-hrm) Because of what happened, I relapsed badly. This isnt the first time I relapsed because of her. Hopefully, its the last. Take care everyone and whoever read until the end: )
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I recently broke off a close friendship with a suspected narcissist (who apparently told people she never considered me her best friend, despite all the things I have done for her.
Not only did she choose to confront me infront of an audience (after I told her its not the right time because its finals week, but she portrayed herself as a victim in the confrontation infront of people we know. She twisted my words, refused to take accountability, and said Im seeing it all wrong. I know Im not wrong because I was the one who had to pick up after her mess and drama.
Now, she has told everyone we know about what happened and made herself the victim, painting me as the bad guy. While I told nobody. Not even my family or other friends, out of respect to not disparage her. Thankfully, I still have two close friends who trust my side.
I dont know why I ranted here. Maybe with family stress, academic stress, and now this, I just needed somewhere to say this. (T/w: self-hrm) Because of what happened, I relapsed badly. This isnt the first time I relapsed because of her. Hopefully, its the last. Take care everyone and whoever read until the end: )
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Me
I deal with an narcissist and a lot of this is spot on. Everything is always about them, all things my fault, very insecure, jealous and constantly I'm the blame or problem for literally EVERYTHING! He projects his issues and problems onto me, try to hurt me with words etc. Before even watching this video I didn't realize that I have begun to take the necessary steps to break free and reclaim my power. I do not deserve to be manipulated, mistreated emotionally, mentally, physically or any adjective. nobody deserves it. It was hard I constantly ran back to him time and time again because I thought I could work it out and because of our children, but now I have the strength and my spiritual eyes are open to exactly what is going on. You are worth more than what they are trying to get you to believe that you're not and you deserve the greatest things in life despite anything they say or do! Leave, reclaim your power! Most importantly if you have children DO NOT teach them how to be the narcissists toy and door mat!
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I deal with an narcissist and a lot of this is spot on. Everything is always about them, all things my fault, very insecure, jealous and constantly I'm the blame or problem for literally EVERYTHING! He projects his issues and problems onto me, try to hurt me with words etc. Before even watching this video I didn't realize that I have begun to take the necessary steps to break free and reclaim my power. I do not deserve to be manipulated, mistreated emotionally, mentally, physically or any adjective. nobody deserves it. It was hard I constantly ran back to him time and time again because I thought I could work it out and because of our children, but now I have the strength and my spiritual eyes are open to exactly what is going on. You are worth more than what they are trying to get you to believe that you're not and you deserve the greatest things in life despite anything they say or do! Leave, reclaim your power! Most importantly if you have children DO NOT teach them how to be the narcissists toy and door mat!
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Amu
My girlfriend texted this, and what do guys think?
I'm 5'6 Meaning 169 cm If I'm taller than this, people will think I'm a walking Burj Khalifa. Stop carrying your arrogance around in your backside, someone will beat you up. If you are with a girl, concentrate on her and not how the world revolves around. Nonsense, entirely nonsense, you and your worldly concepts of love. Please, I feel bad for whoever will end up with you at some point. You are stuck in the tragic cycle of life and you don't want to get out, and I don't care at all. I'm quiet because you are a little baby and will get hurt. Listen, crazy, stop carrying your brain in your backside, you're not that special or great that you haven't made a mistake and are going around saying it. Karma won't do anything, it will just go inside your backside. Take your nonsense and leave here as soon as possible. Don't fall for yourself too much, you'll die.
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My girlfriend texted this, and what do guys think?
I'm 5'6 Meaning 169 cm If I'm taller than this, people will think I'm a walking Burj Khalifa. Stop carrying your arrogance around in your backside, someone will beat you up. If you are with a girl, concentrate on her and not how the world revolves around. Nonsense, entirely nonsense, you and your worldly concepts of love. Please, I feel bad for whoever will end up with you at some point. You are stuck in the tragic cycle of life and you don't want to get out, and I don't care at all. I'm quiet because you are a little baby and will get hurt. Listen, crazy, stop carrying your brain in your backside, you're not that special or great that you haven't made a mistake and are going around saying it. Karma won't do anything, it will just go inside your backside. Take your nonsense and leave here as soon as possible. Don't fall for yourself too much, you'll die.
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Anjana
The best thing to do is to ignore them and get on with your life. They will hardly come into open confrontation just because they know they cant use logical reasons to justify themselves. Dont take the hints they drop - if one doesnt fulfil their needs, they wont expect more from you - very rightly, dont play their game, it cripples them. Make sure your goodness isnt the reason they can manipulate you. They are merciless when it comes to using people. In my opinion, Narcissists are not only love interests; they can be found in any relationships as varied as between you and either parents or both, your siblings, in-laws and even children. Not to forget colleagues at work. Dont enable them to have their way through you or youll be their slave forever.
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The best thing to do is to ignore them and get on with your life. They will hardly come into open confrontation just because they know they cant use logical reasons to justify themselves. Dont take the hints they drop - if one doesnt fulfil their needs, they wont expect more from you - very rightly, dont play their game, it cripples them. Make sure your goodness isnt the reason they can manipulate you. They are merciless when it comes to using people. In my opinion, Narcissists are not only love interests; they can be found in any relationships as varied as between you and either parents or both, your siblings, in-laws and even children. Not to forget colleagues at work. Dont enable them to have their way through you or youll be their slave forever.
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Jeffrey
Been hurt by the same person so many times, just can't seem to freaking let her go.
She's even with another man and still mentally abusing me because I'm single and don't have anyone yet. I was trying so hard to see what it would be like to be friends with someone after a relationship had ended, hoping that I would be strong enough, mentally. I think if both of you are getting into a really good relationship at the same time and both relationships seem to last quite a while, it can work, but when it's just one person in a relationship and the other one single, especially over six months, not the healthiest choice to remain friends. I need to break away, before I wind up hurting myself any worse than what I already have over this.
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Been hurt by the same person so many times, just can't seem to freaking let her go.
She's even with another man and still mentally abusing me because I'm single and don't have anyone yet. I was trying so hard to see what it would be like to be friends with someone after a relationship had ended, hoping that I would be strong enough, mentally. I think if both of you are getting into a really good relationship at the same time and both relationships seem to last quite a while, it can work, but when it's just one person in a relationship and the other one single, especially over six months, not the healthiest choice to remain friends. I need to break away, before I wind up hurting myself any worse than what I already have over this.
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education
I figured out far too late that I was/am dealing with a narcissist! I always knew something was quite off but couldnt determine exactly what is was. Sadly, Im trapped in a world that Id give back if I could! I have a four year old now! It sucks for her! We live in the same place but separately! I mirror his behavior because enough is enough! He lies for no reason, steals, gaslights hes a horrible individual. Childhood abandonment. His mom is too a narc! Shes a very bad person! So is he! I cant wait the escape! Most times women have babies to trap men, in this case Im trapped! Omg. A literally demon. No good. I call him out on all of his shit. I make sure he knows Im on to his shit but couldnt careless.
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I figured out far too late that I was/am dealing with a narcissist! I always knew something was quite off but couldnt determine exactly what is was. Sadly, Im trapped in a world that Id give back if I could! I have a four year old now! It sucks for her! We live in the same place but separately! I mirror his behavior because enough is enough! He lies for no reason, steals, gaslights hes a horrible individual. Childhood abandonment. His mom is too a narc! Shes a very bad person! So is he! I cant wait the escape! Most times women have babies to trap men, in this case Im trapped! Omg. A literally demon. No good. I call him out on all of his shit. I make sure he knows Im on to his shit but couldnt careless.
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Damien
I dont have a narcissist in my life and I never did, but if I ever do, then I will use most of these tactics against them. Whenever they do or say something to hurt me and make me respond in an emotional manner, I will mirror their behavior, or I will stay calm. And whenever they send me messages, I will have someone read the messages for me. And whenever they try to shame or belittle me, I will agree with them, or I will say things like, Okay, or, Youre entitled to your opinion, or I will ask myself, Is this true? No its not. And whenever they ask me to play a game, I will say no. And whenever I have the chance to, I will succeed without them.
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I dont have a narcissist in my life and I never did, but if I ever do, then I will use most of these tactics against them. Whenever they do or say something to hurt me and make me respond in an emotional manner, I will mirror their behavior, or I will stay calm. And whenever they send me messages, I will have someone read the messages for me. And whenever they try to shame or belittle me, I will agree with them, or I will say things like, Okay, or, Youre entitled to your opinion, or I will ask myself, Is this true? No its not. And whenever they ask me to play a game, I will say no. And whenever I have the chance to, I will succeed without them.
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The
I want to point out that if you were raised by a Narcissistic parent & had no one to help you, many of these strategies might not work because your beliefs about yourself, other people, and life have been severely distorted by your toxic family system. The only thing I've personally found that works is ending communication with the Narc. Unfortunately I still live with my Narc. Mother, and have taken back SO much of my power by ending all communication with her & finally deciding. NO. You cannot push me around anymore no matter what. Noise cancelling headphones have been a lifesaver to separate myself from her energy as much as possible.
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I want to point out that if you were raised by a Narcissistic parent & had no one to help you, many of these strategies might not work because your beliefs about yourself, other people, and life have been severely distorted by your toxic family system. The only thing I've personally found that works is ending communication with the Narc. Unfortunately I still live with my Narc. Mother, and have taken back SO much of my power by ending all communication with her & finally deciding. NO. You cannot push me around anymore no matter what. Noise cancelling headphones have been a lifesaver to separate myself from her energy as much as possible.
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ms_snazzy_jazzy
I had a shingles outbreak within 3 months of getting back with my narcissistic ex. At that time I didnt know I was in the narcissistic cycle of being vacuumed in. I truly thought he did the work to grow and change for the better. Move back together, and BLOOP his true character revealed itself. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! Praise God something told me to start looking up narcissistic trait videos to know I was in a never ending cycle and to run before he truly put me back in the dark hole I spent 4 years climbing out of!
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I had a shingles outbreak within 3 months of getting back with my narcissistic ex. At that time I didnt know I was in the narcissistic cycle of being vacuumed in. I truly thought he did the work to grow and change for the better. Move back together, and BLOOP his true character revealed itself. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! Praise God something told me to start looking up narcissistic trait videos to know I was in a never ending cycle and to run before he truly put me back in the dark hole I spent 4 years climbing out of!
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SuperJSM
You know, when I was young in primary school, my best friend tricked me into doing stuff that wasn't appropriate for school as pranks. From those experiences, I came up with a method to deal with it. My mum calls it being facetious though it is practically the grey rock method. When ever someone bullies me, I take it as feedback and filter it into a of improving my way of living. Then I explain to the bully the thing that I learnt from their comment.
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You know, when I was young in primary school, my best friend tricked me into doing stuff that wasn't appropriate for school as pranks. From those experiences, I came up with a method to deal with it. My mum calls it being facetious though it is practically the grey rock method. When ever someone bullies me, I take it as feedback and filter it into a of improving my way of living. Then I explain to the bully the thing that I learnt from their comment.
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Hijabistic
I would disagree with just agreeing with them to make them satisfied because sometimes it ends up with them thinking that they actually are right. I would suggest saying agreeing words such as yeah ok ur right or yeah yeah ok ok or whatever u want in a way where they KNOW that u are agreeing them only to get them to stop talking but in reality u dont care. Its important for them to know u arent giving them or their words Importance
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I would disagree with just agreeing with them to make them satisfied because sometimes it ends up with them thinking that they actually are right. I would suggest saying agreeing words such as yeah ok ur right or yeah yeah ok ok or whatever u want in a way where they KNOW that u are agreeing them only to get them to stop talking but in reality u dont care. Its important for them to know u arent giving them or their words Importance
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Ippiki
I need this but for someone dealing with the abuse because of. in my case, a friend who has potential to grow into a relationship that is likely to be beautiful having made someone so vile think she belongs to him when that's not true, she's nobodies property, and if a relationship happens, I would've earned it with her, I would've put in the effort in unconditionally because she deserves to smile and feel loved
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I need this but for someone dealing with the abuse because of. in my case, a friend who has potential to grow into a relationship that is likely to be beautiful having made someone so vile think she belongs to him when that's not true, she's nobodies property, and if a relationship happens, I would've earned it with her, I would've put in the effort in unconditionally because she deserves to smile and feel loved
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kittycat
Ive been in a position of having a close family member is a narcissist. Ive been through hell and Ive survived through the process. Now Ive realize their tricks. Dont stay too close, dont show emotion, dont react, dont be too dependent, keep your business to yourself, less face contact as possible and ull be find. Narc are terrible but i believe we all become better once we survived and get over them
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Ive been in a position of having a close family member is a narcissist. Ive been through hell and Ive survived through the process. Now Ive realize their tricks. Dont stay too close, dont show emotion, dont react, dont be too dependent, keep your business to yourself, less face contact as possible and ull be find. Narc are terrible but i believe we all become better once we survived and get over them
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Rana
i used to be a victim of one, i manage to cut my relation with an narcissist, lets call her lily. she stopped contacting me after. now she took my bestie (ill call her zyrine) and use her as her new pet. lily now uses her for attention and ignores zyrine if she needs her.
idk what to do bc zyrine decided to break our relationship after lily made fake rumors. i need help rn-
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i used to be a victim of one, i manage to cut my relation with an narcissist, lets call her lily. she stopped contacting me after. now she took my bestie (ill call her zyrine) and use her as her new pet. lily now uses her for attention and ignores zyrine if she needs her.
idk what to do bc zyrine decided to break our relationship after lily made fake rumors. i need help rn-
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education
1. Try to learn what they are
2. Minimize contact
3. Do not make mistakes that can be used againts you
4. Let them do their mistakes and lies. It will self destruct eventually.
5. Understand your narc. It is not their fault to be that way.
6. Leave your narc peacefully and nothing can be thrown back at you.
7. Rather be alone than with another narc.
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1. Try to learn what they are
2. Minimize contact
3. Do not make mistakes that can be used againts you
4. Let them do their mistakes and lies. It will self destruct eventually.
5. Understand your narc. It is not their fault to be that way.
6. Leave your narc peacefully and nothing can be thrown back at you.
7. Rather be alone than with another narc.
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afsmeg
I was working under a narcissist through last year, and at some point he called me an enigma after a year of emotional abuse. Being an enigma and deadpanning in conversations with him ended up being what helped me get out of it. While I am still triggered by the mere mention of his name, these tips really are helpful and I can feel myself healing every day
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I was working under a narcissist through last year, and at some point he called me an enigma after a year of emotional abuse. Being an enigma and deadpanning in conversations with him ended up being what helped me get out of it. While I am still triggered by the mere mention of his name, these tips really are helpful and I can feel myself healing every day
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CINDORO
No. 10 made me feel things. Esp. when the narcie is one's mum. They're great providers but to come to terms with they don't care about you makes me sad. I mean, I love me, and listen to my needs regardless without overdoing it but having a parent that's a narcie and a sibling that has narcie tendencies has to build some sort of character, right?
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No. 10 made me feel things. Esp. when the narcie is one's mum. They're great providers but to come to terms with they don't care about you makes me sad. I mean, I love me, and listen to my needs regardless without overdoing it but having a parent that's a narcie and a sibling that has narcie tendencies has to build some sort of character, right?
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Gemini13
My dad has a lot of narcissistic traits and so did the father of my child as well as his parents. I was constantly exposed to this when I was young and it certainly did it's damage. It's taken me a long time to heal the narcissistic traits I picked up myself from being in these types of relationships
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My dad has a lot of narcissistic traits and so did the father of my child as well as his parents. I was constantly exposed to this when I was young and it certainly did it's damage. It's taken me a long time to heal the narcissistic traits I picked up myself from being in these types of relationships
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Rowan
You can tell just how much narcissists hate the Grey Rock Method, because it comes up constantly on forums for narcissists who can't understand why their adult children / exes / etc left them or won't talk to them anymore. The phrase has become a talisman of their feelings of victimhood.
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You can tell just how much narcissists hate the Grey Rock Method, because it comes up constantly on forums for narcissists who can't understand why their adult children / exes / etc left them or won't talk to them anymore. The phrase has become a talisman of their feelings of victimhood.
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jasmine
I would like to add that I outsmart the narcissist, by exposing the truth with facts + proof (collected over the years. When you EXPOSE THE TRUTH (their lies, manipulation, double life, abuse) to their family and close friends. The shame they feel - will make them feel so small.
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I would like to add that I outsmart the narcissist, by exposing the truth with facts + proof (collected over the years. When you EXPOSE THE TRUTH (their lies, manipulation, double life, abuse) to their family and close friends. The shame they feel - will make them feel so small.
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Gipsy
Some of this video is dangerous advice tho. be careful, don't ever play the narcissists game. They'll just drag you into an even deeper hole. Just get out of there ASAP and move on with your life. They'll never stop. Be kind, defend the attacks with a simple smile and go away.
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Some of this video is dangerous advice tho. be careful, don't ever play the narcissists game. They'll just drag you into an even deeper hole. Just get out of there ASAP and move on with your life. They'll never stop. Be kind, defend the attacks with a simple smile and go away.
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_PinkLight_
It's not gonna be easy if it's someone in your family and you still have to give them love and care bcoz its an illness. Just try not to get into an argument or cross paths. Set boundaries. I like one comment here. just say okay background in psychology helps.
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It's not gonna be easy if it's someone in your family and you still have to give them love and care bcoz its an illness. Just try not to get into an argument or cross paths. Set boundaries. I like one comment here. just say okay background in psychology helps.
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Andrej
Honestly talk about your feelings and your demands, calmly leave if your emotional needs are not met, or, if you do not wish to spend any more time with the person? Why would you like to outsmart somebody for whom you think abuses you? Sounds like revenge.
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Honestly talk about your feelings and your demands, calmly leave if your emotional needs are not met, or, if you do not wish to spend any more time with the person? Why would you like to outsmart somebody for whom you think abuses you? Sounds like revenge.
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strraycat
I dont feel like mirroring it or agreeing with their shaming helps. It just makes it all last longer. Eventually they are gonna still outsmart you by hurting you anyway. they WILL find a way. you need to leave. :(
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I dont feel like mirroring it or agreeing with their shaming helps. It just makes it all last longer. Eventually they are gonna still outsmart you by hurting you anyway. they WILL find a way. you need to leave. :(
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