6 Signs of an Unhealthy Father-Daughter Relationship
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
RavenPrch
I really just want to know how to deal with it. I've been closed off and scared of my father ever since I could remember, he always made things about himself and never cared about how I felt or how anyone else felt and its not even just my father who compares me to my twin (more like golden child like everyone else except me) I hate this feeling where I feel like I am not part of the world everyone else is living in and I feel so alone and scared. I always was quiet and shut my mouth cause I was taught that being expressive was annoying and obnoxious most of my life and would get punished. One of the punishments was my father would either make see sit down on the unclean floor and push my face up against the tv to watch some politics or news as he yelled at the tv which developed a fear of loud noises for me. It hurts so much and every time I'm in a big group everything around me narrows down like a hallway which no where to breathe and I feel disconnected to the people who I thought I deeply cared about. I just want to not feel so alone anymore and actually be happy! And most of the time my parents are like, its your choice to be happy but its so hard and you can say that but thing is what is the choice? What is it I'm supposed to do? I feel so trapped and I just want to be let go and out of this enclosed cage that I try so desperately to let go while yelling for help as no one answers my calls. Please can someone help me cause it hurts so bad.
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I really just want to know how to deal with it. I've been closed off and scared of my father ever since I could remember, he always made things about himself and never cared about how I felt or how anyone else felt and its not even just my father who compares me to my twin (more like golden child like everyone else except me) I hate this feeling where I feel like I am not part of the world everyone else is living in and I feel so alone and scared. I always was quiet and shut my mouth cause I was taught that being expressive was annoying and obnoxious most of my life and would get punished. One of the punishments was my father would either make see sit down on the unclean floor and push my face up against the tv to watch some politics or news as he yelled at the tv which developed a fear of loud noises for me. It hurts so much and every time I'm in a big group everything around me narrows down like a hallway which no where to breathe and I feel disconnected to the people who I thought I deeply cared about. I just want to not feel so alone anymore and actually be happy! And most of the time my parents are like, its your choice to be happy but its so hard and you can say that but thing is what is the choice? What is it I'm supposed to do? I feel so trapped and I just want to be let go and out of this enclosed cage that I try so desperately to let go while yelling for help as no one answers my calls. Please can someone help me cause it hurts so bad.
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Why
oh god- my father is all of those, excluding emotionally unavailable- he's mostly controlling and has absolutely no idea what privacy is, as a teen, I know that i've got terrible mood swings, but can't he just listen to me? he threatens me if i fight back, he doesn't trust me what-so ever and being in a family of six, i get blamed for everything, he ignores my other siblings and targets me- i'm not being dramatic either, my siblings have life much more easier because they're boys, he thinks they can look after themselves when i'm the most capable, im a straight-A student, see? I do kick boxing for self defense, i play alot of sport, i spend more time reading or writing than online, i do as he asks with out complaining, i don't wear anything revealing (not that i want to) i have a good- paying job and my license. i can't even write anything on my phone because he goes through everything on it, accusing me of talking to old men and having a 'secret boyfriend', he reads all my messages controls all of my passwords and accounts except for this one. just kill me. i need a break.
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oh god- my father is all of those, excluding emotionally unavailable- he's mostly controlling and has absolutely no idea what privacy is, as a teen, I know that i've got terrible mood swings, but can't he just listen to me? he threatens me if i fight back, he doesn't trust me what-so ever and being in a family of six, i get blamed for everything, he ignores my other siblings and targets me- i'm not being dramatic either, my siblings have life much more easier because they're boys, he thinks they can look after themselves when i'm the most capable, im a straight-A student, see? I do kick boxing for self defense, i play alot of sport, i spend more time reading or writing than online, i do as he asks with out complaining, i don't wear anything revealing (not that i want to) i have a good- paying job and my license. i can't even write anything on my phone because he goes through everything on it, accusing me of talking to old men and having a 'secret boyfriend', he reads all my messages controls all of my passwords and accounts except for this one. just kill me. i need a break.
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Andes
I don't think my Dad was a particularly abusive father, but he did made me feel scared when I was with him at times. Just for whatever reason, it could have been him yelling at me if I did something wrong, I just felt scared to be around him, and it's the same feeling with my Aunt (my Dad's sister. I just can't explain how much conflicting feelings I had when he passed away, I was 23, I'm 28 now. I felt some sort of relief, mixed in with shock and depression. I don't think he abused me, or maybe he saw so much inside me when I was going to school, I didn't exactly have excellent grades, but they were mainly good enough. I struggled through college, because that's when he passed away. But I kept marching forward as if nothing happened, and took two years off from school because I needed time to grief. I still think about what he would think of me if he was alive today. I know he's asleep and can't be talked to, he was a Christian, as am I, but I don't think we should hate on other groups of people for how they live their lives.
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I don't think my Dad was a particularly abusive father, but he did made me feel scared when I was with him at times. Just for whatever reason, it could have been him yelling at me if I did something wrong, I just felt scared to be around him, and it's the same feeling with my Aunt (my Dad's sister. I just can't explain how much conflicting feelings I had when he passed away, I was 23, I'm 28 now. I felt some sort of relief, mixed in with shock and depression. I don't think he abused me, or maybe he saw so much inside me when I was going to school, I didn't exactly have excellent grades, but they were mainly good enough. I struggled through college, because that's when he passed away. But I kept marching forward as if nothing happened, and took two years off from school because I needed time to grief. I still think about what he would think of me if he was alive today. I know he's asleep and can't be talked to, he was a Christian, as am I, but I don't think we should hate on other groups of people for how they live their lives.
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Yoontangie
Lack of open communication I love my dad but I cant talk to him, its so hard for me to even say more than 2 sentences to him. Ive never talked to my dad much growing up but he has always been there for me for my whole life. I sometimes think our relationship is like this because he would always let anger get the best of him when I was young (even though he is still like this, even tho he never hit me or anything but I guess him yelling at my mom and brother so much made him seem scary to my eyes? I wish I could talk to him and bond with him like I see other girls bonding with their dad. I dont want it to be to late, I know that when the day comes that he passes away Im going to regret not having the guts to talk to him normally. Just today the only thing weve said to each other the whole day was
My dad: hi, have you eaten yet?
Me: Hi, yeah I have
My dad: thats nice alright, see you later Im going to go eat
And thats usually the only thing we say to each other every day
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Lack of open communication I love my dad but I cant talk to him, its so hard for me to even say more than 2 sentences to him. Ive never talked to my dad much growing up but he has always been there for me for my whole life. I sometimes think our relationship is like this because he would always let anger get the best of him when I was young (even though he is still like this, even tho he never hit me or anything but I guess him yelling at my mom and brother so much made him seem scary to my eyes? I wish I could talk to him and bond with him like I see other girls bonding with their dad. I dont want it to be to late, I know that when the day comes that he passes away Im going to regret not having the guts to talk to him normally. Just today the only thing weve said to each other the whole day was
My dad: hi, have you eaten yet?
Me: Hi, yeah I have
My dad: thats nice alright, see you later Im going to go eat
And thats usually the only thing we say to each other every day
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sooya
I am a firstborn daughter, and idk why he always has something bad to say about me or my life. It's tiring me out now, my grandma says that he says this out of love he just doesn't know how to show his emotions and my mother says don't worry I am always with you I will always protect you. I just miss my old loving dad who used to spend so much time with me. nowadays we don't even have proper conversations. I don't know what to do I am trying hard to be strong. sometimes I think I should just harm myself to ignore all these comments and I sometimes ignore these and try to be strong so everyone thinks that I am not affected but it hurts sometimes, I can't pretend to be strong all the time. sometimes I wish I could turn back time when we weren't so rich and not the most a happy family but still, I was the happiest in that time, when I would go everywhere with my dad and have a lot of fun when the three of us would go to the park and enjoy ourselves.
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I am a firstborn daughter, and idk why he always has something bad to say about me or my life. It's tiring me out now, my grandma says that he says this out of love he just doesn't know how to show his emotions and my mother says don't worry I am always with you I will always protect you. I just miss my old loving dad who used to spend so much time with me. nowadays we don't even have proper conversations. I don't know what to do I am trying hard to be strong. sometimes I think I should just harm myself to ignore all these comments and I sometimes ignore these and try to be strong so everyone thinks that I am not affected but it hurts sometimes, I can't pretend to be strong all the time. sometimes I wish I could turn back time when we weren't so rich and not the most a happy family but still, I was the happiest in that time, when I would go everywhere with my dad and have a lot of fun when the three of us would go to the park and enjoy ourselves.
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That
My dad is. ok. He is a really nice and funny guy, when hes not yelling. Sadly, hes almost always yelling. He always seems to be mad. I am currently a young teen girl, and I still live with him. I tend to hide in my room almost all day, not seeing him besides at dinner, as I am afraid he will yell at me. Also, he is very different from me, and wants to change that, but not by changing himself, but by changing me. He is a farmer who loves country music, and I am a girl who wishes to become an artist in some way, shape, or form, who loves hyperpop music. Whenever hes driving the car, he will play country music, even though I hate it, and he knows this. I believe hes trying to make me be more like him by forcing me to listen to the songs he likes until I like them, and hoping Ill go from there. I know hes given so much for me, but from the way he acts most of the time, it doesnt feel like hes trying to be a good dad at all.
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My dad is. ok. He is a really nice and funny guy, when hes not yelling. Sadly, hes almost always yelling. He always seems to be mad. I am currently a young teen girl, and I still live with him. I tend to hide in my room almost all day, not seeing him besides at dinner, as I am afraid he will yell at me. Also, he is very different from me, and wants to change that, but not by changing himself, but by changing me. He is a farmer who loves country music, and I am a girl who wishes to become an artist in some way, shape, or form, who loves hyperpop music. Whenever hes driving the car, he will play country music, even though I hate it, and he knows this. I believe hes trying to make me be more like him by forcing me to listen to the songs he likes until I like them, and hoping Ill go from there. I know hes given so much for me, but from the way he acts most of the time, it doesnt feel like hes trying to be a good dad at all.
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psych2go
I really don't know what to say about my dad
He shows all this signs and he's so controlling and emotionally abusive. He always compares me with his friends daughters and my classmates too
But then I really can't say that he's a bad person cuz he is literally trying his best to provide me with all this stuff and he is kind sometimes but then he has sudden anger without any specific reason it's just like out of the blue he starts calling me names and shouting at me and sometimes if he's sooooo angry I'll get out of the room with bruises crying
So what am I supposed to do
I have to know if he's a bad person and just leave him once I get out of the house or he's kind I judt don't know I'm sorry
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I really don't know what to say about my dad
He shows all this signs and he's so controlling and emotionally abusive. He always compares me with his friends daughters and my classmates too
But then I really can't say that he's a bad person cuz he is literally trying his best to provide me with all this stuff and he is kind sometimes but then he has sudden anger without any specific reason it's just like out of the blue he starts calling me names and shouting at me and sometimes if he's sooooo angry I'll get out of the room with bruises crying
So what am I supposed to do
I have to know if he's a bad person and just leave him once I get out of the house or he's kind I judt don't know I'm sorry
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Wolfs
The thing is was that my father was never really there when I was younger, he was always at work or doing other stuff and I barely got to see him. Even when I did see him I didnt really like him that much. Later on I saw things I shouldnt have, I saw my dad always fighting with my mom and that really hurt me. I get to see my dad more often but in a bad way, he is now an alcoholic and lies constantly to my and especially to my mom. He would always say nasty comments to her when he was drunk making me dislike him more and more. Im glad you made this video to show people red flags that may seem normal to someone! I really wished I new this when I was younger
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The thing is was that my father was never really there when I was younger, he was always at work or doing other stuff and I barely got to see him. Even when I did see him I didnt really like him that much. Later on I saw things I shouldnt have, I saw my dad always fighting with my mom and that really hurt me. I get to see my dad more often but in a bad way, he is now an alcoholic and lies constantly to my and especially to my mom. He would always say nasty comments to her when he was drunk making me dislike him more and more. Im glad you made this video to show people red flags that may seem normal to someone! I really wished I new this when I was younger
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Vidushi
idk why. since my brother came into this world, I always feel that my parents give me less attention. I understand that my brother is small so he needs more time of my parents but his needs are always put first and now that he knows about this, he makes up lies and my parents believe him. Growing up. I feel I am a little abusive towards him, i'm working on it but no one sees that my behavior changed because of all this. I hardly have 2-3 friends and my father always overcomplicates things, I can't relay on him for my mental support but I tend to fight about this with my parents about this everyday. IDK what to o with myself
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idk why. since my brother came into this world, I always feel that my parents give me less attention. I understand that my brother is small so he needs more time of my parents but his needs are always put first and now that he knows about this, he makes up lies and my parents believe him. Growing up. I feel I am a little abusive towards him, i'm working on it but no one sees that my behavior changed because of all this. I hardly have 2-3 friends and my father always overcomplicates things, I can't relay on him for my mental support but I tend to fight about this with my parents about this everyday. IDK what to o with myself
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Luna
I really don't know at this point. my father works away sometimes and he's there and sometimes he's not. but he has always been there for my birthday but when he is home usually things would be going really well then. he would say, no one ever does anything around here and just complain and yell and it usually leads to an argument that he just pretends never happened, not once has he ever said sorry, and when he was away he would call but everytime he called he would always ask about our pets not how we were doing or anything, so idk if he's a bad father or it's just yowhes supposed to be or if I'm just overreacting or smh
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I really don't know at this point. my father works away sometimes and he's there and sometimes he's not. but he has always been there for my birthday but when he is home usually things would be going really well then. he would say, no one ever does anything around here and just complain and yell and it usually leads to an argument that he just pretends never happened, not once has he ever said sorry, and when he was away he would call but everytime he called he would always ask about our pets not how we were doing or anything, so idk if he's a bad father or it's just yowhes supposed to be or if I'm just overreacting or smh
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moon
My dad used to drag me with force outside and lock me out or put me in rhe shower and throw ice cold water on me when i was angry or didn't stop arguing when i was like 6. I was always a terrifyed crying sreeming mess just trying to defend myself and nowdays dad wonders why i never want to tell or listen to anything when he's near me. He's always asking what's the matter with me coz i like anime and stuff and he thinks it's childish and is always hating/ not listening on what i try to say or ask. I didn't even realize that i didn't deserve that. I just always thought that was what i deserver.
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My dad used to drag me with force outside and lock me out or put me in rhe shower and throw ice cold water on me when i was angry or didn't stop arguing when i was like 6. I was always a terrifyed crying sreeming mess just trying to defend myself and nowdays dad wonders why i never want to tell or listen to anything when he's near me. He's always asking what's the matter with me coz i like anime and stuff and he thinks it's childish and is always hating/ not listening on what i try to say or ask. I didn't even realize that i didn't deserve that. I just always thought that was what i deserver.
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alizagoogly
I have the worst father wcwr ever I hate him so much my father doesn't do a job and is only out with his friends only drinking, he is with other girls even though he has a wife my mom fought with him about is as well and he always makes me cry he is the reason why I cry everyday, I even hate calling him my father, he is a lazyass and he ruined my life I hate him more than anything, my mom works day and night just to get paid and my father spends it on cigarette and alcohol and something really useless, he fights with my mom and physically abused her once my thinks idk this but I do
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I have the worst father wcwr ever I hate him so much my father doesn't do a job and is only out with his friends only drinking, he is with other girls even though he has a wife my mom fought with him about is as well and he always makes me cry he is the reason why I cry everyday, I even hate calling him my father, he is a lazyass and he ruined my life I hate him more than anything, my mom works day and night just to get paid and my father spends it on cigarette and alcohol and something really useless, he fights with my mom and physically abused her once my thinks idk this but I do
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DN
My father was constantly blaming me for the things he did for me (maybe one or two things) and constantly reminding me how grateful I should be to him, until the moment I said to myself so wait he is my father, he should do those things for me and more and not me for him. and he was never present in my life when I needed him the most, he never drove me to school, he never made any effort, he only knows how to talk about himself. and so many empty promises. So I decided to cut off communication with him, and now Im much happier but no one will fill in the gaps he has dug.
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My father was constantly blaming me for the things he did for me (maybe one or two things) and constantly reminding me how grateful I should be to him, until the moment I said to myself so wait he is my father, he should do those things for me and more and not me for him. and he was never present in my life when I needed him the most, he never drove me to school, he never made any effort, he only knows how to talk about himself. and so many empty promises. So I decided to cut off communication with him, and now Im much happier but no one will fill in the gaps he has dug.
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xXStrawberriesXx
So Ive never really have had any father problems, definitely mother problems but Ive always have had a great relationship with my dad but I can understand how other people can have these problems with their father. My mother is a whole nother story shes always been there for me and my siblings but she emotionally abusive and picks favorites which I feel is just a way to cause trauma for a kid I just wish I wouldve had a better childhood as a kid and I have a feeling it was mostly her fault my childhood wasnt to great.
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So Ive never really have had any father problems, definitely mother problems but Ive always have had a great relationship with my dad but I can understand how other people can have these problems with their father. My mother is a whole nother story shes always been there for me and my siblings but she emotionally abusive and picks favorites which I feel is just a way to cause trauma for a kid I just wish I wouldve had a better childhood as a kid and I have a feeling it was mostly her fault my childhood wasnt to great.
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am(reen)
the only thing i want right now is to have faith and confidence in myself, i wish i had the ability to stand up for myself and voice out my feelings to my father. i was always taught to listen and obey, but it doesnt seem like my father would play that role either. its hard to be an example to your younger siblings by being controlled and manipulated by your own father. i hope everyone dealing with any of these relationships with their father know that theyre not alone. please take care of yourself
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the only thing i want right now is to have faith and confidence in myself, i wish i had the ability to stand up for myself and voice out my feelings to my father. i was always taught to listen and obey, but it doesnt seem like my father would play that role either. its hard to be an example to your younger siblings by being controlled and manipulated by your own father. i hope everyone dealing with any of these relationships with their father know that theyre not alone. please take care of yourself
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INFP-T
Theres a huge difference between a father who isnt great at being a father figure but is obviously putting in the effort takes the criticism and tries to improve through trials and errors throughout the relationship. While you have these fathers who genuinely just believe that as long as they put food on the table and have a roof to sleep under is more than enough. Hes emotionally absent, yet hot tempered and controlling, doesnt relate or try to understand your personal issues.
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Theres a huge difference between a father who isnt great at being a father figure but is obviously putting in the effort takes the criticism and tries to improve through trials and errors throughout the relationship. While you have these fathers who genuinely just believe that as long as they put food on the table and have a roof to sleep under is more than enough. Hes emotionally absent, yet hot tempered and controlling, doesnt relate or try to understand your personal issues.
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gliched
Idk about my father but my grandmother is a whole another story.
She doesn't like me having privacy
And thinks if she feeds me she basically owns me. And at the same time she is the kind of person I have had my whole life and now feel like I just can't live without. She emotionally drains me but I just can't live without her presence. And the person im so attached to once said me 'people like you are the same wither there dead or alive' I hope she didn't mean it
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Idk about my father but my grandmother is a whole another story.
She doesn't like me having privacy
And thinks if she feeds me she basically owns me. And at the same time she is the kind of person I have had my whole life and now feel like I just can't live without. She emotionally drains me but I just can't live without her presence. And the person im so attached to once said me 'people like you are the same wither there dead or alive' I hope she didn't mean it
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Arion
Short and sweet. I have a baby girl and this was helpful. I can say even though my relationship with my parents is good, my dad didnt leave me much room for arguments and because of that I would fear getting into debates and arguments with others. Even if its something I disagree with. It took till my 30s to get over that and yes hiding and lying to stay out of conflict was a thing. I dont want that of my daughter
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Short and sweet. I have a baby girl and this was helpful. I can say even though my relationship with my parents is good, my dad didnt leave me much room for arguments and because of that I would fear getting into debates and arguments with others. Even if its something I disagree with. It took till my 30s to get over that and yes hiding and lying to stay out of conflict was a thing. I dont want that of my daughter
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Artisticrylie
I have just now realized that my dad is not a good dad. My dad called my mom wanting a divorce and not t too long ago I found out that he has been having a love affair.
He has been an absentee father even when coming home, I don't have a relationship with him because he isn't been available, and I haven't got to experience the overly controlling, but my mom has.
Its been really rough.
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I have just now realized that my dad is not a good dad. My dad called my mom wanting a divorce and not t too long ago I found out that he has been having a love affair.
He has been an absentee father even when coming home, I don't have a relationship with him because he isn't been available, and I haven't got to experience the overly controlling, but my mom has.
Its been really rough.
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Insomiac_Dreamer
It's so frustrating that I relate to all the things mentioned. Yes he is a good father sometimes. But those times are him buying me snacks or making a joke. But not when I'm mad or angry. His suddenly not there when I feel any negative emotion and he always disregards my feelings when it comes tto my older abusive mentally and physically brother because his the favourite.
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It's so frustrating that I relate to all the things mentioned. Yes he is a good father sometimes. But those times are him buying me snacks or making a joke. But not when I'm mad or angry. His suddenly not there when I feel any negative emotion and he always disregards my feelings when it comes tto my older abusive mentally and physically brother because his the favourite.
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Wendy
I'm happy and proud to see that very few of my problems come from my upbringing. My family really was better than I could have imagined, despite how it seemed when I was growing up, and when I was in the car accident in which I sustained a traumatic brain injury, the whole family and all my wonderful friends were there and ready to support me in my healing.
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I'm happy and proud to see that very few of my problems come from my upbringing. My family really was better than I could have imagined, despite how it seemed when I was growing up, and when I was in the car accident in which I sustained a traumatic brain injury, the whole family and all my wonderful friends were there and ready to support me in my healing.
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education
In my case I am the one absentee I am the one not having open communication all the problems he is really kind and lovable and I dont know I just cant come to talk to him or love him I cant emotionally express and Now Its kinda frustating please tell me what to do how can I improve myself? How can I have healthy relationship with my family
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In my case I am the one absentee I am the one not having open communication all the problems he is really kind and lovable and I dont know I just cant come to talk to him or love him I cant emotionally express and Now Its kinda frustating please tell me what to do how can I improve myself? How can I have healthy relationship with my family
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The
One i can't really recall
Two is 100% true for me
Three, huu, kinda but without saying it? Like, he gets what he wants through me and my mother without asking for him
Four, no, he's distant
Five, Yes there is a BIG lack
Six, comparison are here i guess not wanting me to be better tho
It's kind of a half/half for my father
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One i can't really recall
Two is 100% true for me
Three, huu, kinda but without saying it? Like, he gets what he wants through me and my mother without asking for him
Four, no, he's distant
Five, Yes there is a BIG lack
Six, comparison are here i guess not wanting me to be better tho
It's kind of a half/half for my father
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Nashra
NO I DON'T LIKE THIS VIDEO. I LIKED THE OLDER ONE.
I liked your previous video on this topic because you guys included The Ruined Father. The Ruined I Father is not talked about enough. Fathers being financially dependent on their daughter without providing care of her any basic necessity or emergencies is heartbreaking
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NO I DON'T LIKE THIS VIDEO. I LIKED THE OLDER ONE.
I liked your previous video on this topic because you guys included The Ruined Father. The Ruined I Father is not talked about enough. Fathers being financially dependent on their daughter without providing care of her any basic necessity or emergencies is heartbreaking
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Ananya
My father is never emotionally present for me he is just not interested in my interests he never talks to me about my day or his day not even about my education or something he just pays for everything. that's it. i don't really have a healthy relationship with my father but good to know that all father's are not like this.
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My father is never emotionally present for me he is just not interested in my interests he never talks to me about my day or his day not even about my education or something he just pays for everything. that's it. i don't really have a healthy relationship with my father but good to know that all father's are not like this.
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