What's A Kind Narcissist? (Signs And What To Do)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Casey
It's also possible for people to fall into narcissistic behaviors without necessarily being a full time narcissist. When people suffer it is very easy to dump overwhelming burdens on other people without realizing how much the other person is going through at the same time, people who are in pain tend to cause pain to others without even realizing what's taking place. The two difficulties everyone has to deal with is learning to help others without wearing ourselves out, and learning to recognize when we are putting unfair expectations those around us, who, in most cases, are not prepared to take all of our problems due to the ones they already have on their own. For some, knowing how to set healthy boundaries to avoid wearing themselves out is the biggest challenge, for others, learning to set realistic expectations is too difficult because they themselves are drowning in misery and desperately reaching for any way out they can find, but I think most people have seasons in life in which they either have landed or will land on both sides of the equation.
I somewhat dislike the way the term narcissist is used nowadays because it tends to create this idea that anyone who inflicts harm (intentional or not) is an irredeemable monster who can't be helped, but in reality, even the most well meaning people will do things that hurt the people they love (often without meaning to. In such cases, forgiveness is an important skill to learn, it can be agonizing to practice, but it's also the most important step in the road to healing (for all parties involved.
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It's also possible for people to fall into narcissistic behaviors without necessarily being a full time narcissist. When people suffer it is very easy to dump overwhelming burdens on other people without realizing how much the other person is going through at the same time, people who are in pain tend to cause pain to others without even realizing what's taking place. The two difficulties everyone has to deal with is learning to help others without wearing ourselves out, and learning to recognize when we are putting unfair expectations those around us, who, in most cases, are not prepared to take all of our problems due to the ones they already have on their own. For some, knowing how to set healthy boundaries to avoid wearing themselves out is the biggest challenge, for others, learning to set realistic expectations is too difficult because they themselves are drowning in misery and desperately reaching for any way out they can find, but I think most people have seasons in life in which they either have landed or will land on both sides of the equation.
I somewhat dislike the way the term narcissist is used nowadays because it tends to create this idea that anyone who inflicts harm (intentional or not) is an irredeemable monster who can't be helped, but in reality, even the most well meaning people will do things that hurt the people they love (often without meaning to. In such cases, forgiveness is an important skill to learn, it can be agonizing to practice, but it's also the most important step in the road to healing (for all parties involved.
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Karuna
I think the term should have been polite persuasive narcissistic than a kind narcissistic.
From my life experience i've been subjected to lot of prejudice of politeness when it could only just be in my voice bit soft spoken.
Kindness if rear and very much misunderstood by scheme of humans. I was made to feel less of a human because somepeople just never can quite understand why you chose to do good without your own self interest directly involved. I guess I was nearly brought to point of being bullied which has scared me but i can only defend my point,
Please Do not mistake Kindness for politeness.
For kindness has to renew their castrated terrors with something which can traumatic is compelled to take form of anything which can save another life. Politeness is not expected to make such drastic measures,
It's so unfair yet bearable now to be put through the same ride, i try my best to not be affected by the sight of polite people stealing the light, they deserve their moments I guess
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I think the term should have been polite persuasive narcissistic than a kind narcissistic.
From my life experience i've been subjected to lot of prejudice of politeness when it could only just be in my voice bit soft spoken.
Kindness if rear and very much misunderstood by scheme of humans. I was made to feel less of a human because somepeople just never can quite understand why you chose to do good without your own self interest directly involved. I guess I was nearly brought to point of being bullied which has scared me but i can only defend my point,
Please Do not mistake Kindness for politeness.
For kindness has to renew their castrated terrors with something which can traumatic is compelled to take form of anything which can save another life. Politeness is not expected to make such drastic measures,
It's so unfair yet bearable now to be put through the same ride, i try my best to not be affected by the sight of polite people stealing the light, they deserve their moments I guess
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Luis
Im convinced one of my friends in college is a kind narcissist. Hes seemingly sweet and kind, but often tries to get on peoples good side to guilt trip into helping him, despite doing this having already caused people to almost give up college due to how much damage he caused.
Something always seemed off about him, but I shrug it off thinking hes just young and immature. He tried to make me turn my back to a friend as well, but then immediately gave up before I could say no. A minor thing that also annoyed me is that I lent a game to him, and he took 6 months to give me back. Whenever I asked, he said but Im not done yet. Now hes sweet talking me to get another game, and it almost worked, had I not noticed this behaviour pattern.
Worst thing is I feel like I cant do shit about it. Some friends and I were talking yesterday what would happen if we said anything. Hed get upset, cry in like ugly cry, and we would be seemed like the villain.
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Im convinced one of my friends in college is a kind narcissist. Hes seemingly sweet and kind, but often tries to get on peoples good side to guilt trip into helping him, despite doing this having already caused people to almost give up college due to how much damage he caused.
Something always seemed off about him, but I shrug it off thinking hes just young and immature. He tried to make me turn my back to a friend as well, but then immediately gave up before I could say no. A minor thing that also annoyed me is that I lent a game to him, and he took 6 months to give me back. Whenever I asked, he said but Im not done yet. Now hes sweet talking me to get another game, and it almost worked, had I not noticed this behaviour pattern.
Worst thing is I feel like I cant do shit about it. Some friends and I were talking yesterday what would happen if we said anything. Hed get upset, cry in like ugly cry, and we would be seemed like the villain.
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Aamazaar
Personally this offends me. You are so black and white. You openly encourage people to leave someone if you think they might be something you consider Bad. Truth is that's not your place or right. EVERYONE Deserves to feel loved, Everyone Deserves to have love in their life. So what your telling people that if they assume then run because they do not deserve the love and attention. People evolve and change. People who did not experience love before will not know how to express it properly to others so what then? How about abused people who grew up damaged? They don't deserve to ever find love? Wow your hide such horror behind candied words. I am just shocked. Thank you for not just this video. But in all the other countless ones. Thank you for saying only perfect healthy people deserve love and happiness. Disgusting
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Personally this offends me. You are so black and white. You openly encourage people to leave someone if you think they might be something you consider Bad. Truth is that's not your place or right. EVERYONE Deserves to feel loved, Everyone Deserves to have love in their life. So what your telling people that if they assume then run because they do not deserve the love and attention. People evolve and change. People who did not experience love before will not know how to express it properly to others so what then? How about abused people who grew up damaged? They don't deserve to ever find love? Wow your hide such horror behind candied words. I am just shocked. Thank you for not just this video. But in all the other countless ones. Thank you for saying only perfect healthy people deserve love and happiness. Disgusting
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Alice
Please distance yourself first. If you try to speak up or set boundaries, they will run circles around you: you're too sensitive, you're so mean, why are you overreacting? Even if they follow through on respecting boundaries somewhat, they weaponize it against you: can't you see they're trying to hard to respect your boundaries? Why do you have to be so rigid?
Please: these people have more experience being stubborn awful manipulative people than you do. Setting boundaries other than distancing yourself will be used against you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but distance is the only surefire solution--and even then they use it against you to slander you, tell others you're being distant, cutting them off, etc.
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Please distance yourself first. If you try to speak up or set boundaries, they will run circles around you: you're too sensitive, you're so mean, why are you overreacting? Even if they follow through on respecting boundaries somewhat, they weaponize it against you: can't you see they're trying to hard to respect your boundaries? Why do you have to be so rigid?
Please: these people have more experience being stubborn awful manipulative people than you do. Setting boundaries other than distancing yourself will be used against you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but distance is the only surefire solution--and even then they use it against you to slander you, tell others you're being distant, cutting them off, etc.
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AngelicBaby
I don't consider myself a narcissist but I am confused because one person (and everyone else disagreed) directly called me a narcissist. It made me doubt myself. Another person indirectly did aka my ex, but it felt like he didn't understand me or my motivations. He would think I would try to cook better than his best friend (like it's a competition) instead of just trying to recreate delicious food for him and myself. He would also say I always want attention, I'm loud, and whatever, and that never felt true. I just generally talk loud and I actually hate attention but i don't like being overtalked or dismissed, which is what I'm used to with some people. so I'm always doing self evaluation
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I don't consider myself a narcissist but I am confused because one person (and everyone else disagreed) directly called me a narcissist. It made me doubt myself. Another person indirectly did aka my ex, but it felt like he didn't understand me or my motivations. He would think I would try to cook better than his best friend (like it's a competition) instead of just trying to recreate delicious food for him and myself. He would also say I always want attention, I'm loud, and whatever, and that never felt true. I just generally talk loud and I actually hate attention but i don't like being overtalked or dismissed, which is what I'm used to with some people. so I'm always doing self evaluation
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AspenArts!
I actually didn't really realize it until just recently, but the majority of my past partners were narcissists. They would often neglect my needs, only doing what they wanted, as well as shaming me for doing what I wanted when I finally had time to myself (Things like playing VR with friends and drawing my characters doing things without their characters, But I didn't see through their 'kind' facade. I thought they were just confident and clingy, but it took one of my best friends yelling at me to realize that it wasn't healthy. In the end, all those relationships ended in flames. I'm just glad they're not in my life anymore, with the way they treated me.
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I actually didn't really realize it until just recently, but the majority of my past partners were narcissists. They would often neglect my needs, only doing what they wanted, as well as shaming me for doing what I wanted when I finally had time to myself (Things like playing VR with friends and drawing my characters doing things without their characters, But I didn't see through their 'kind' facade. I thought they were just confident and clingy, but it took one of my best friends yelling at me to realize that it wasn't healthy. In the end, all those relationships ended in flames. I'm just glad they're not in my life anymore, with the way they treated me.
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Erik
Reminds me of one of the worst times of my life. I wouldn't allow myself to see it at the time but she was exactly this. If I didn't spend every waking moment fawning over her she would act like I didn't even care. If you tried to do anything for yourself but didn't make her the center of attention she would freak out and call you selfish and self centered. At the beginning of the relationship she even looked at me and stated you've never been in a relationship so how would you know how to act in one? As we're having a conversation about boundaries.
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Reminds me of one of the worst times of my life. I wouldn't allow myself to see it at the time but she was exactly this. If I didn't spend every waking moment fawning over her she would act like I didn't even care. If you tried to do anything for yourself but didn't make her the center of attention she would freak out and call you selfish and self centered. At the beginning of the relationship she even looked at me and stated you've never been in a relationship so how would you know how to act in one? As we're having a conversation about boundaries.
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Steezus
My best friend is sadly a narcissist and I never know how to confront them about it, I just distance myself and end up ignoring them for months and feel guilty about ignoring them, But they treat me horribly and since Im a relatively quiet and shy person I tend to just let it happen and vent about it afterwards to myself, its not very healthy I know but thats just sadly how Ive personally been coping with my best friend being narcissistic. Not too sure how else to deal with the situation other than distancing myself as much as humanly possible.
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My best friend is sadly a narcissist and I never know how to confront them about it, I just distance myself and end up ignoring them for months and feel guilty about ignoring them, But they treat me horribly and since Im a relatively quiet and shy person I tend to just let it happen and vent about it afterwards to myself, its not very healthy I know but thats just sadly how Ive personally been coping with my best friend being narcissistic. Not too sure how else to deal with the situation other than distancing myself as much as humanly possible.
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yautjita
Out of context a bit but i need to ask this
On Friday at school in the last period a teacher couldnt come so both A and B got mixed, i have 2 friends from B and a place next to me, our school desks are for 2 people each, i asked if they wanted to sit next to me and they made a mess to fit a desk more so they could sit there and i only got talked for being asked color pencils
The moment i felt most lonely in my life
I need to know if i was right in feeling lonely or if it was just me over thinking it
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Out of context a bit but i need to ask this
On Friday at school in the last period a teacher couldnt come so both A and B got mixed, i have 2 friends from B and a place next to me, our school desks are for 2 people each, i asked if they wanted to sit next to me and they made a mess to fit a desk more so they could sit there and i only got talked for being asked color pencils
The moment i felt most lonely in my life
I need to know if i was right in feeling lonely or if it was just me over thinking it
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GiraffieRose
See I dont intentionally think my time is worth more than others, think Im special compared to others, or seek attention - but I do and I dont really like it that much. But the thing is I keep it to myself. I dont put others down or make them feel bad about something or purposely make them think that Im better then them because in truth since I think like this Im really not and I think being able to realize this, helps to show that Im not as awful of a person (I hope lol.
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See I dont intentionally think my time is worth more than others, think Im special compared to others, or seek attention - but I do and I dont really like it that much. But the thing is I keep it to myself. I dont put others down or make them feel bad about something or purposely make them think that Im better then them because in truth since I think like this Im really not and I think being able to realize this, helps to show that Im not as awful of a person (I hope lol.
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Oposweety
Kind narcissist from what I heard in video, could be result of trauma. It could be coping mechanism that they developed due to be lied to, emotional pressure or also manipulation. And before anyone says anything I'm speaking from personal experience with people like that. They don't notice they are being selfish because in the past they were always told they are the worst so being selfish helps them convince them self that they are the best and they deserve to be their best.
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Kind narcissist from what I heard in video, could be result of trauma. It could be coping mechanism that they developed due to be lied to, emotional pressure or also manipulation. And before anyone says anything I'm speaking from personal experience with people like that. They don't notice they are being selfish because in the past they were always told they are the worst so being selfish helps them convince them self that they are the best and they deserve to be their best.
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IzzyLand
Im betting theyre also the ones that try to force a positive atmosphere and get rid of depressed / frustrated folks by any means. My employment counselor once demanded I be positive and not some negative Nancy which is a huge trigger of mine. I told her about an incident where I nearly fell off the escalator at work after some dude slapped me on the shoulder. She just told me oh theyre just being friendly - and they know I got extreme anxiety and on the autistic spectrum!
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Im betting theyre also the ones that try to force a positive atmosphere and get rid of depressed / frustrated folks by any means. My employment counselor once demanded I be positive and not some negative Nancy which is a huge trigger of mine. I told her about an incident where I nearly fell off the escalator at work after some dude slapped me on the shoulder. She just told me oh theyre just being friendly - and they know I got extreme anxiety and on the autistic spectrum!
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Ligma
Finding out if a person is a kind narcissist is really hard. I am a kind narcissist myself, and i only noticed this when most of my relationships started falling apart. I always thought that i was a good person, a good friend, but when everyone started drifting away from me, i started noticing things. Gaslighting, trying to assert control over my friends, focusing conversations on myself. It really is much worse when a person doen't realise that he's doing something wrong
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Finding out if a person is a kind narcissist is really hard. I am a kind narcissist myself, and i only noticed this when most of my relationships started falling apart. I always thought that i was a good person, a good friend, but when everyone started drifting away from me, i started noticing things. Gaslighting, trying to assert control over my friends, focusing conversations on myself. It really is much worse when a person doen't realise that he's doing something wrong
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Amanda
i recently cut ties with a person i considered my best friend and i havent felt much happier. i had stopped talking to her the same time around last year because she treated me horribly and i decided to give her a second chance. i regret it now, but im glad i will no longer be going back to that friendship. so much toxicity and its sad how people will twist things and continuously make you feel like everything is your fault. thank you so much for this video.
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i recently cut ties with a person i considered my best friend and i havent felt much happier. i had stopped talking to her the same time around last year because she treated me horribly and i decided to give her a second chance. i regret it now, but im glad i will no longer be going back to that friendship. so much toxicity and its sad how people will twist things and continuously make you feel like everything is your fault. thank you so much for this video.
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Damon's
The simplest test to see through the narcissistic persona is to look at how the person reacts emotionally to things. In your head, compare them to a 5 year old child. If this is what you come to see (a five year old child, then it is really likely you are dealing with a narcissist. This works as well on covert/kind narcissists as it does on more grandiose / overt narcissists. I will warn: Once you see it, it will be next to impossible to stop seeing it.
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The simplest test to see through the narcissistic persona is to look at how the person reacts emotionally to things. In your head, compare them to a 5 year old child. If this is what you come to see (a five year old child, then it is really likely you are dealing with a narcissist. This works as well on covert/kind narcissists as it does on more grandiose / overt narcissists. I will warn: Once you see it, it will be next to impossible to stop seeing it.
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PierrotCVB
Kind narcissists are just wolves in sheep's clothing. They act like sweet, cute little girls/boys to make you fall for them, and soon the mask falls off and you see their real faces. I had my good share of 'kind' narcissists (I'd personally not call them kind because kindness and narcissism won't go in the same sentence) in the past, which led me to distrust even kind people.
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Kind narcissists are just wolves in sheep's clothing. They act like sweet, cute little girls/boys to make you fall for them, and soon the mask falls off and you see their real faces. I had my good share of 'kind' narcissists (I'd personally not call them kind because kindness and narcissism won't go in the same sentence) in the past, which led me to distrust even kind people.
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Kohlicoide
Tbh i dont know if i am a Kind Narcissist the wellbeing of my friends and my close famile is really important for me, and i also try to be a good listener but its not 2 weeks ago where i told a former Friend Just let me alone. after i get called as arrogant ahe and i was tired of friends who has no problems to shittalk me, im tbh allways full of selfdoubt
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Tbh i dont know if i am a Kind Narcissist the wellbeing of my friends and my close famile is really important for me, and i also try to be a good listener but its not 2 weeks ago where i told a former Friend Just let me alone. after i get called as arrogant ahe and i was tired of friends who has no problems to shittalk me, im tbh allways full of selfdoubt
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SBplankton_1999
Timestamp about 5 things, What's A Kind Narcissist? (Signs And What To Do)
0: 00 intro
0: 27 intro_2 what is a kind narcissist
1: 06 intro_3 Signs of a kind narcissist
1: 44 Num 1# Set Boundaries
2: 10 Num 2# Speak Up
2: 27 Num 3# Healthy Distancing
2: 47 Num 4# Get Help
3: 02 outro/final Thoughts
Where is Num 5# Go?
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Timestamp about 5 things, What's A Kind Narcissist? (Signs And What To Do)
0: 00 intro
0: 27 intro_2 what is a kind narcissist
1: 06 intro_3 Signs of a kind narcissist
1: 44 Num 1# Set Boundaries
2: 10 Num 2# Speak Up
2: 27 Num 3# Healthy Distancing
2: 47 Num 4# Get Help
3: 02 outro/final Thoughts
Where is Num 5# Go?
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Shawn
narcissistic people are too much superior I try to deal with them they don't care. I'm attack wirh narcissistic person means to give him a lesson to suffer consequences. With me never be a narcissist becmakes me angry. if a narcissistic person pretend have power, No one have power only God has the power. the small always win the big
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narcissistic people are too much superior I try to deal with them they don't care. I'm attack wirh narcissistic person means to give him a lesson to suffer consequences. With me never be a narcissist becmakes me angry. if a narcissistic person pretend have power, No one have power only God has the power. the small always win the big
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Kain
That was 100% this projecting Christian hypocrite i know who uses people to her game and humble brags about to help she gets from people praising God and everything. And she was obviously malignant too so she can pretend to say she has changed by lessening her ruthless and cruel methods. She's smart & knows she's manipulative
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That was 100% this projecting Christian hypocrite i know who uses people to her game and humble brags about to help she gets from people praising God and everything. And she was obviously malignant too so she can pretend to say she has changed by lessening her ruthless and cruel methods. She's smart & knows she's manipulative
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rue!
im really not trying to make everything about me, i dont know why i do it but every time i say something that pulls the conversation towards me and how much im struggling, i wish i could take it back. im never happy even when i do get the attention i crave, and i dont know how to fix it: ( i wish i wasnt such a narcissist
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im really not trying to make everything about me, i dont know why i do it but every time i say something that pulls the conversation towards me and how much im struggling, i wish i could take it back. im never happy even when i do get the attention i crave, and i dont know how to fix it: ( i wish i wasnt such a narcissist
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Morgue
They love to go out of their way to do favors for you that you never asked them to do so you appreciate them more and then once you bring up a problem that you have with one of their behaviors, they hit you with how you're so ungrateful, you're so demanding, I do all this for you. Garbage
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They love to go out of their way to do favors for you that you never asked them to do so you appreciate them more and then once you bring up a problem that you have with one of their behaviors, they hit you with how you're so ungrateful, you're so demanding, I do all this for you. Garbage
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Klaas
The hard part is that I've always had this relationship with my parents. I think I still have a lot to learn from it. for example, I didn't talk to them much when I still lived at home because they never let me finish. I filled in myself that they are just bad talkers.
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The hard part is that I've always had this relationship with my parents. I think I still have a lot to learn from it. for example, I didn't talk to them much when I still lived at home because they never let me finish. I filled in myself that they are just bad talkers.
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education
My friend started to become a kind narcissist. Since she was a good drawing, we ( me and my best friend) always told her she was really good! But I guess saying that made her think she was better than anyone else. This really helps me with this friend! Thank you!
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My friend started to become a kind narcissist. Since she was a good drawing, we ( me and my best friend) always told her she was really good! But I guess saying that made her think she was better than anyone else. This really helps me with this friend! Thank you!
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