5 Harmful Behaviors That Are Actually Your Trauma Response
video description
Granted, I ve done things that, looking back on them, I m not proud of. And those added to my shame and guilt.
I m trying to open up and really process things and try to get a decent support network.
Date: 2023-11-26
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 19
Harmony
I used to notice a couple of these signs in myself a bunch about 2 years ago. I remember I used to almost straight up become emotionless anytime there was an argument between a couple of my family members (mainly my dad and my older brother, they re nice but both got big ego) there was one time I randomly zoned out in the middle of a conversation with one of my cousins (it was one of the weirdest feelings ever) I d daydream a TOOOON throughout the day, especially before I went to sleep too keep from ruminating on how absolutely horrific Attack on Titan is, and definitely had a harder time making decisions for myself, mainly on what I was going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner if my mom or dad didn t have anything planned. Now a couple years later, all of that has died down considerably. I do still have a little trouble trying to figure out what the hecc I want to eat since literally NOTHING IS NEW and I find myself still daydreaming before I go to sleep. Honestly though, there are sometimes when I m actually kind of glad I accidentally watched AoT 3-4 years ago. If I had never seen AoT, I wouldn t be into horror games as much as I am now, I would never have daydreamed so much and made up amazing stories that I still love looking back on, because of the constant daydreaming, I love writing now and am working on a really cool fanfic with one of my besties, hecc, I would never have even created my persona! All the cool interests I have today are because of a silly scary thing I watched when I was younger. It ll always be a part of who I am and I m okay with that (sorry for the essay lol)
reply
I used to notice a couple of these signs in myself a bunch about 2 years ago. I remember I used to almost straight up become emotionless anytime there was an argument between a couple of my family members (mainly my dad and my older brother, they re nice but both got big ego) there was one time I randomly zoned out in the middle of a conversation with one of my cousins (it was one of the weirdest feelings ever) I d daydream a TOOOON throughout the day, especially before I went to sleep too keep from ruminating on how absolutely horrific Attack on Titan is, and definitely had a harder time making decisions for myself, mainly on what I was going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner if my mom or dad didn t have anything planned. Now a couple years later, all of that has died down considerably. I do still have a little trouble trying to figure out what the hecc I want to eat since literally NOTHING IS NEW and I find myself still daydreaming before I go to sleep. Honestly though, there are sometimes when I m actually kind of glad I accidentally watched AoT 3-4 years ago. If I had never seen AoT, I wouldn t be into horror games as much as I am now, I would never have daydreamed so much and made up amazing stories that I still love looking back on, because of the constant daydreaming, I love writing now and am working on a really cool fanfic with one of my besties, hecc, I would never have even created my persona! All the cool interests I have today are because of a silly scary thing I watched when I was younger. It ll always be a part of who I am and I m okay with that (sorry for the essay lol)
reply
Christian
I feel like I've gotten better with my PTSD in the first 3 topics- socially withdrawing isn't done out of apathy for me anymore. It's truly done from a place of needing to recharge and rest especially being an Introvert in the arts & entertainment industries.
Overworking myself is still something I love to do but I am aware of my limits way moreso these days.
Freezing up is something I'm still working on day by day- from being triggered by sirens or tailgating drivers because of my experiences as a first responder or because of car accidents I've been in.
Fawning is something I'm glad to have learned as I can have a word to utilize now- especially when I reflect on my people pleasing habits with executive bosses, co-workers, and even family. This one seems to be something that's in the gray area more. especially when dealing with people that have narcissitic traits but aren't necessarily diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder.
Thanks for the tips as always psych2go: ) and happy thanksgiving!
reply
I feel like I've gotten better with my PTSD in the first 3 topics- socially withdrawing isn't done out of apathy for me anymore. It's truly done from a place of needing to recharge and rest especially being an Introvert in the arts & entertainment industries.
Overworking myself is still something I love to do but I am aware of my limits way moreso these days.
Freezing up is something I'm still working on day by day- from being triggered by sirens or tailgating drivers because of my experiences as a first responder or because of car accidents I've been in.
Fawning is something I'm glad to have learned as I can have a word to utilize now- especially when I reflect on my people pleasing habits with executive bosses, co-workers, and even family. This one seems to be something that's in the gray area more. especially when dealing with people that have narcissitic traits but aren't necessarily diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder.
Thanks for the tips as always psych2go: ) and happy thanksgiving!
reply
MsGracie
Back in February this year, i got kicked out of friend group that was kinda toxic in hindsight. I immediately kicked myself off all my social media accounts, and i haven't texted anyone that wasn't my parents or my therapists. Nowadays, it seems like all i do is stay locked up in my house and just ruminate on what happened, blaming both myself (for staying even when i knew inside it was horrible) and those friends (for treating me the way they did when all i wanted to do was have a decent friend group)
Honestly, i've given up on relationships, period, no matter what kind they are, becuase clearly my parents and therapists are the only ones i can trust, and i just can't seem to make or maintain a friendship without it either fading away or going to shit
Oh yeah, did i mention that i've been thinking about jumping my ex-friends and/or ruining their reputation lately?
reply
Back in February this year, i got kicked out of friend group that was kinda toxic in hindsight. I immediately kicked myself off all my social media accounts, and i haven't texted anyone that wasn't my parents or my therapists. Nowadays, it seems like all i do is stay locked up in my house and just ruminate on what happened, blaming both myself (for staying even when i knew inside it was horrible) and those friends (for treating me the way they did when all i wanted to do was have a decent friend group)
Honestly, i've given up on relationships, period, no matter what kind they are, becuase clearly my parents and therapists are the only ones i can trust, and i just can't seem to make or maintain a friendship without it either fading away or going to shit
Oh yeah, did i mention that i've been thinking about jumping my ex-friends and/or ruining their reputation lately?
reply
Vivian,
Oh no. I relate to all of the mentioned atributes. I overwork myself a lot, a have a big fawning response to litteraly everyone because I'm scared they'll leave me, I have lashed out at my loved ones and at myself a lot in the past to the point where it ruined a prior relationship I had with a group of friends, and now instead of lashing out I freeze because my prior relationship has made me think that freezing and being as non-threatening and passive as possible is the best way to do things because I'm scared that I'll be abandoned if I speak up for myself. And yes I also do often retreat to fantasy as a coping mechanism. Occasionaly entertwining with my other coping mechanism of looking at cute things (usualy animals or fictional beings with animalistic features) being happy and/or acting silly. And I did withdraw socialy throughout most of my life as well.
reply
Oh no. I relate to all of the mentioned atributes. I overwork myself a lot, a have a big fawning response to litteraly everyone because I'm scared they'll leave me, I have lashed out at my loved ones and at myself a lot in the past to the point where it ruined a prior relationship I had with a group of friends, and now instead of lashing out I freeze because my prior relationship has made me think that freezing and being as non-threatening and passive as possible is the best way to do things because I'm scared that I'll be abandoned if I speak up for myself. And yes I also do often retreat to fantasy as a coping mechanism. Occasionaly entertwining with my other coping mechanism of looking at cute things (usualy animals or fictional beings with animalistic features) being happy and/or acting silly. And I did withdraw socialy throughout most of my life as well.
reply
Sahera
I was bullied by one of my classmate when I was a Middle School student. So I decided to start High School in far away place. Now I'm a High School student. Here my classmates are quite kind. But still I couldn't go to school after Entrance ceremony and First day of school. I was scared. But my parents was angry with me about that. I told them multiple times that I can't go to school. I'm scared. But still they didn't understand me. After that, I started to go to school for my parents. But I skipped school. It's been 2 weeks after that. My parents still don't know about that I'm skipping school. Gladly my school couldn't take any steps either. Because, my phone number was given to school. But After watching this video, I came to understand that I'm still traumatized by my middle school life. How can I overcome it?
reply
I was bullied by one of my classmate when I was a Middle School student. So I decided to start High School in far away place. Now I'm a High School student. Here my classmates are quite kind. But still I couldn't go to school after Entrance ceremony and First day of school. I was scared. But my parents was angry with me about that. I told them multiple times that I can't go to school. I'm scared. But still they didn't understand me. After that, I started to go to school for my parents. But I skipped school. It's been 2 weeks after that. My parents still don't know about that I'm skipping school. Gladly my school couldn't take any steps either. Because, my phone number was given to school. But After watching this video, I came to understand that I'm still traumatized by my middle school life. How can I overcome it?
reply
Norbol
Sometimes I wish I could get rid of the parts of my brain that make me want to be close with others or have any kind of intimacy with others. I would much rather be an empty, less than human husk that just kind of exists because at least that means I'll be safe forever and never feel attracted to girls or anyone else, I already try to discourage myself from being attracted to women and already keep everyone at a distance, but I still sometimes really want to be close with others and get a girlfriend when I know full well doing any of that will just hurt me. Sure isolating myself and depriving myself of my needs hurts me too, but at least it means I'm safe and it proves that I have control over every facet of my life and can do anything I want to myself while nobody can do anything about it.
reply
Sometimes I wish I could get rid of the parts of my brain that make me want to be close with others or have any kind of intimacy with others. I would much rather be an empty, less than human husk that just kind of exists because at least that means I'll be safe forever and never feel attracted to girls or anyone else, I already try to discourage myself from being attracted to women and already keep everyone at a distance, but I still sometimes really want to be close with others and get a girlfriend when I know full well doing any of that will just hurt me. Sure isolating myself and depriving myself of my needs hurts me too, but at least it means I'm safe and it proves that I have control over every facet of my life and can do anything I want to myself while nobody can do anything about it.
reply
Ashlyn
I was wondering why I was feeling this way. Trauma's complex. So is the human emotion. This gets so bad for me that often I'll end up just being used for s##, and walked all over as well. I often struggle to say no, as well as helping out with everything possible. The being too nice and overworking yourself part earned me a student shout-out with my college for a recent open evening. I had to have several of the free doughnuts, crisps and cookies to keep me running that night. I am great at respecting other people's boundaries, but never my own. Why this is the case, I don't know. I also tend to go extremely quiet when dealing with trauma, but that I've recognised fairly quickly. This has helped e discover what these other responses are. Thanks, Psych2Go
reply
I was wondering why I was feeling this way. Trauma's complex. So is the human emotion. This gets so bad for me that often I'll end up just being used for s##, and walked all over as well. I often struggle to say no, as well as helping out with everything possible. The being too nice and overworking yourself part earned me a student shout-out with my college for a recent open evening. I had to have several of the free doughnuts, crisps and cookies to keep me running that night. I am great at respecting other people's boundaries, but never my own. Why this is the case, I don't know. I also tend to go extremely quiet when dealing with trauma, but that I've recognised fairly quickly. This has helped e discover what these other responses are. Thanks, Psych2Go
reply
DragonFlower
All of these apply to me except for the lashing out. Depending on what stimulation/trigger it is i do one for this and another for that. I have been learning these things are trauma related for some time now and have been trying hard to work through/around them with the help of family and my therapist. Its a struggle but so worth it especially because i have many other types of responses to trauma such as forgetting the trauma which makes it harder to identify and deal with. To everyone out there struggling with their trauma responses, you've got this. Its hard as hell, but worth having the release, relaxation, and ultimately piece of mind and self
reply
All of these apply to me except for the lashing out. Depending on what stimulation/trigger it is i do one for this and another for that. I have been learning these things are trauma related for some time now and have been trying hard to work through/around them with the help of family and my therapist. Its a struggle but so worth it especially because i have many other types of responses to trauma such as forgetting the trauma which makes it harder to identify and deal with. To everyone out there struggling with their trauma responses, you've got this. Its hard as hell, but worth having the release, relaxation, and ultimately piece of mind and self
reply
Lindzie
im guilty i had these but now its lesser the overworking thing is the only one that i cant get rid off its hard to experience these things that i didnt even know before and im always misinterpreted by people around me including my family its hard that only a few people knows what i really feel i didnt know i had these. I just learned to love myself when i almost lose myself after pandemic and glad there are few people that helps me got up and love myself so if you notice someone in your family or friends having these symptoms try to listen and never misjudge them they need your help and staying by their side without saying anything is a good thing.
reply
im guilty i had these but now its lesser the overworking thing is the only one that i cant get rid off its hard to experience these things that i didnt even know before and im always misinterpreted by people around me including my family its hard that only a few people knows what i really feel i didnt know i had these. I just learned to love myself when i almost lose myself after pandemic and glad there are few people that helps me got up and love myself so if you notice someone in your family or friends having these symptoms try to listen and never misjudge them they need your help and staying by their side without saying anything is a good thing.
reply
Lars_Amandi
I didn't know the term fawning up to today and it perfectly describes something I use(d) to to a lot. My ex partners were both, in some shape of form, psychologically abusing me, and this made me hyper aware of the other's needs but at the same time, keeping mine under the rug, to avoid conflict and emotional damage. Recently, I have met a very nice person who made me feel seen and heard for the very first time in this type of relationship, and, even if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, he is being such a wonderful friend and I'm so grateful. I'll leave those fears behind and just not listening to them, but it's still a long way to go.
reply
I didn't know the term fawning up to today and it perfectly describes something I use(d) to to a lot. My ex partners were both, in some shape of form, psychologically abusing me, and this made me hyper aware of the other's needs but at the same time, keeping mine under the rug, to avoid conflict and emotional damage. Recently, I have met a very nice person who made me feel seen and heard for the very first time in this type of relationship, and, even if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, he is being such a wonderful friend and I'm so grateful. I'll leave those fears behind and just not listening to them, but it's still a long way to go.
reply
Clara
My ex-best friend was the one who helped me through trauma at the time. She made me feel loved despite my emotional baggage, didn't care about my trauma, and taught me to have faith in others.
The she went on to defend the guy who r ped me, accused me of lying, then broke off our friendship and used my childhood and recent traumas as an explanation of why I suddenly became unloveable.
She is now a therapist.
That was almost 3 years ago, and I'm still struggling to let people in, and still battle everyday with the belief that I'm unloveable because of all my trauma. I really don't have much faith in myself, or people anymore.
reply
My ex-best friend was the one who helped me through trauma at the time. She made me feel loved despite my emotional baggage, didn't care about my trauma, and taught me to have faith in others.
The she went on to defend the guy who r ped me, accused me of lying, then broke off our friendship and used my childhood and recent traumas as an explanation of why I suddenly became unloveable.
She is now a therapist.
That was almost 3 years ago, and I'm still struggling to let people in, and still battle everyday with the belief that I'm unloveable because of all my trauma. I really don't have much faith in myself, or people anymore.
reply
Demi
My trauma is still happening sadly, but I ignore it most of the time. But I do freeze often and basically feel nothing or even feel like I can't move, especially when I'm upset I can NOT move, as hard as I want to I can't move or speak, and I fawn a lot, I have a hard time telling people things I want, I even struggle asking my own mom if I can get something to eat cause I'm hungry, and I always do things for others, but also struggle doing them cause I zone out all the time, and then I feel quilty if I didn't do it, I also lash out often out of fear, cause I just feel like I'm not good enough so I push people away often.
reply
My trauma is still happening sadly, but I ignore it most of the time. But I do freeze often and basically feel nothing or even feel like I can't move, especially when I'm upset I can NOT move, as hard as I want to I can't move or speak, and I fawn a lot, I have a hard time telling people things I want, I even struggle asking my own mom if I can get something to eat cause I'm hungry, and I always do things for others, but also struggle doing them cause I zone out all the time, and then I feel quilty if I didn't do it, I also lash out often out of fear, cause I just feel like I'm not good enough so I push people away often.
reply
Atlas. moth_wcue
I lash out often, mainly when it comes to my brother, another form of dodging my emotions or hard to swallow pills I will zone out and switch perspectives I know, I know, it sounds weird, allow me to explain, i zone out and switch perspectives as in I m writing a book about the person next to me in my brain, I don t control these mental swaps, and the last stage of my whatever is going on, it feels like I can see myself, if someone is yelling or being awful, I will just straight up picture myself 3 person, The most common in myself is lashing out, though. I just get so angry at the smallest things
reply
I lash out often, mainly when it comes to my brother, another form of dodging my emotions or hard to swallow pills I will zone out and switch perspectives I know, I know, it sounds weird, allow me to explain, i zone out and switch perspectives as in I m writing a book about the person next to me in my brain, I don t control these mental swaps, and the last stage of my whatever is going on, it feels like I can see myself, if someone is yelling or being awful, I will just straight up picture myself 3 person, The most common in myself is lashing out, though. I just get so angry at the smallest things
reply
Dragon
The point of our trauma stem from our childhood, how we got treated at home or in school. School is a feral, wild place. I am talking here of my expierience, it maybe not apply to others so compare it to your expieriences and maybe share your expieriences. Being treated as an outcast in school has a big impact on your future self, which definitely could get some of the reactions we saw in this video. I could identify at least 2 traumas for me here, lashing out and fawning, whereas fawning starts to degrade away. Needed me more than 20 years to get slowly to a point of stopping fawning happen on a daily base
reply
The point of our trauma stem from our childhood, how we got treated at home or in school. School is a feral, wild place. I am talking here of my expierience, it maybe not apply to others so compare it to your expieriences and maybe share your expieriences. Being treated as an outcast in school has a big impact on your future self, which definitely could get some of the reactions we saw in this video. I could identify at least 2 traumas for me here, lashing out and fawning, whereas fawning starts to degrade away. Needed me more than 20 years to get slowly to a point of stopping fawning happen on a daily base
reply
Artisan
Another one I've never seen before that can probably be a form of freezing, is sudden extreme fatigue. Whenever my parents start yelling at each other or when they talk about conspiracies and misgender me, I suddenly get extremely tired and start yawning to the point where I have an overwhelming desire to sleep. On my most stressful days I tend to sleep deeper and longer and I often have long yawning spells and take multiple naps. It's like my brain just wants to completely shut off. It might turn into a sleeping disorder if I'm not careful
reply
Another one I've never seen before that can probably be a form of freezing, is sudden extreme fatigue. Whenever my parents start yelling at each other or when they talk about conspiracies and misgender me, I suddenly get extremely tired and start yawning to the point where I have an overwhelming desire to sleep. On my most stressful days I tend to sleep deeper and longer and I often have long yawning spells and take multiple naps. It's like my brain just wants to completely shut off. It might turn into a sleeping disorder if I'm not careful
reply
Burbo
I often find myself very reclusive from others outside of my work life. And I know this is due to my trauma from being socially isolated during school. I don t normally hang out with anyone unless I m invited. Just recently, I found the courage to go on my first ever date. And even though I didn t get a second date, I was actually pretty surprised to find someone that I thought was attractive actually thought the same about me. I didn t realize how little I thought about myself until I actually took that first step out of my little bubble.
reply
I often find myself very reclusive from others outside of my work life. And I know this is due to my trauma from being socially isolated during school. I don t normally hang out with anyone unless I m invited. Just recently, I found the courage to go on my first ever date. And even though I didn t get a second date, I was actually pretty surprised to find someone that I thought was attractive actually thought the same about me. I didn t realize how little I thought about myself until I actually took that first step out of my little bubble.
reply
RoastTurtle2
The world is an awful place, that's just a fact. Is it a trauma response? Maybe but that doesn't make it any less true.
If the world was sunshine and rainbows then we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have had people like Bin La Din or groups like the KKK or ISIS or just awful presidents right now
We wouldn't have global warming or anything like that. We'd live in a Utopia where the earth would survive until the sun exploded like we first thought the world was gonna end
reply
The world is an awful place, that's just a fact. Is it a trauma response? Maybe but that doesn't make it any less true.
If the world was sunshine and rainbows then we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have had people like Bin La Din or groups like the KKK or ISIS or just awful presidents right now
We wouldn't have global warming or anything like that. We'd live in a Utopia where the earth would survive until the sun exploded like we first thought the world was gonna end
reply
nyboltrend
Oh, Mr. Perfect (The Mr. Perfect part is ironic, not pejorative or depressing, why did I used to make so much fun of you, and at the same time had so many fear of you before? Maybe it was because of some little traumas of mine, nothing big, yk.
Well comments aside, I really do have a question in mind (this actually is [believe it or not] an unintentional rhyme);
Why have I been thinking so much about sociopathic or narcissistic people actually having their good side?
reply
Oh, Mr. Perfect (The Mr. Perfect part is ironic, not pejorative or depressing, why did I used to make so much fun of you, and at the same time had so many fear of you before? Maybe it was because of some little traumas of mine, nothing big, yk.
Well comments aside, I really do have a question in mind (this actually is [believe it or not] an unintentional rhyme);
Why have I been thinking so much about sociopathic or narcissistic people actually having their good side?
reply
Chris
Have you ever had anyone that invites you to their place but as soon as you arrive, they rage and demand you to get off their property by threatening to call 911 if you don t stop harassing & stalking them if you don t leave right then and there? Along with threatening to call 911 for trespassing if they ever see you again after banning you from going anywhere near them despite telling you to meet them beforehand for a friendly get-together? Yeah, same here
reply
Have you ever had anyone that invites you to their place but as soon as you arrive, they rage and demand you to get off their property by threatening to call 911 if you don t stop harassing & stalking them if you don t leave right then and there? Along with threatening to call 911 for trespassing if they ever see you again after banning you from going anywhere near them despite telling you to meet them beforehand for a friendly get-together? Yeah, same here
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
