5 Reasons Why Your Sex Life Is Non-Existent (Single Life)
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Date: 2024-01-11
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Comments and reviews: 20
RingKing-0
It's because no matter how hygienic and fit I am, my face and voice holds me back that much. I am usually complimented for being kind, smart, hard-working, etc. Doesn't matter. Looks are everything and I look below average (which means I'm ugly. I am almost 20, have a car, a good job, in college. it REALLY never mattered to women. I was always instantly friendzoned.
I spoke to two older women about this and they said that's how women are. If they don't like you right off the bat they will slap you in the friendzone pool within seconds after meeting or seeing you (and from my experience, they are absolutely correct.
I have talked to a great amount of women in my age group and struggled to get a single date. I was always friendzoned no matter what I tried to do to be more charismatic and attractive. I went for different types of women and I get the same result. The truth is that women only want a kind man if he looks super good. I do not. I am not even 5'9. I am freaking 5'7 or 5'6. 5. That is instant friendzone material no matter how many good traits I have. I gave up trying to date. I still talk to girls in case they initiate, but they never will. Let's be realistic and quit the someone will love me nonsense. Don't even try to go to the gym for women. Do things for yourselves, boys. Dating is dead.
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It's because no matter how hygienic and fit I am, my face and voice holds me back that much. I am usually complimented for being kind, smart, hard-working, etc. Doesn't matter. Looks are everything and I look below average (which means I'm ugly. I am almost 20, have a car, a good job, in college. it REALLY never mattered to women. I was always instantly friendzoned.
I spoke to two older women about this and they said that's how women are. If they don't like you right off the bat they will slap you in the friendzone pool within seconds after meeting or seeing you (and from my experience, they are absolutely correct.
I have talked to a great amount of women in my age group and struggled to get a single date. I was always friendzoned no matter what I tried to do to be more charismatic and attractive. I went for different types of women and I get the same result. The truth is that women only want a kind man if he looks super good. I do not. I am not even 5'9. I am freaking 5'7 or 5'6. 5. That is instant friendzone material no matter how many good traits I have. I gave up trying to date. I still talk to girls in case they initiate, but they never will. Let's be realistic and quit the someone will love me nonsense. Don't even try to go to the gym for women. Do things for yourselves, boys. Dating is dead.
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psych2go
I had a boyfriend from like December of 6th grade to about March of 8th (11-14)
He didn't really like PDA, which is understandable, and all physical contact was initiated by him. He called me after school one day and said he wanted to break up. I was fine with it, it's what he wanted, so the next day, I was (consensually) hugging on a few of my girl friends, and when I got home after school, he sent me a text along the lines of 'I want to still be together, I wanted to break up publicly and still be with you'.
Something I take pride in is how mature I was back then, so I responded 'Okay, but you didn't say that on the phone the other day. If you're not going to communicate what you want from me, I don't think this is gonna work out. If you really want to make this work, we can still be friends and see where it goes from there. '
He didn't talk to me until the end of May, and in the beginning of May, my best friend and I were both in the school musical, she told me that he had confessed to her and asked her out. I don't talk to him anymore, but I do talk to his brother! He's awesome
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I had a boyfriend from like December of 6th grade to about March of 8th (11-14)
He didn't really like PDA, which is understandable, and all physical contact was initiated by him. He called me after school one day and said he wanted to break up. I was fine with it, it's what he wanted, so the next day, I was (consensually) hugging on a few of my girl friends, and when I got home after school, he sent me a text along the lines of 'I want to still be together, I wanted to break up publicly and still be with you'.
Something I take pride in is how mature I was back then, so I responded 'Okay, but you didn't say that on the phone the other day. If you're not going to communicate what you want from me, I don't think this is gonna work out. If you really want to make this work, we can still be friends and see where it goes from there. '
He didn't talk to me until the end of May, and in the beginning of May, my best friend and I were both in the school musical, she told me that he had confessed to her and asked her out. I don't talk to him anymore, but I do talk to his brother! He's awesome
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pavanbiliyar
Having been through cognitive therapy, the focus is on you. The idea is that how you react to others determines how they react to you and vice-versa. It's a domino effect. If you're confident, equally cheerfully people are attracted to that.
I get it in principle, but I've also been stuck in a loop where my insecurities and quiet personality has somehow attracted the ignorant and manipulative people around me from friends, to family, to classmates and coworkers.
They aren't going to change just because I do, or will I have the courage to leave my environment and seek better ones with better personalities?
Then maybe I'll find a woman who doesn't make assumptions and holds me responsible for their assumptions - being the current biggest problem I face.
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Having been through cognitive therapy, the focus is on you. The idea is that how you react to others determines how they react to you and vice-versa. It's a domino effect. If you're confident, equally cheerfully people are attracted to that.
I get it in principle, but I've also been stuck in a loop where my insecurities and quiet personality has somehow attracted the ignorant and manipulative people around me from friends, to family, to classmates and coworkers.
They aren't going to change just because I do, or will I have the courage to leave my environment and seek better ones with better personalities?
Then maybe I'll find a woman who doesn't make assumptions and holds me responsible for their assumptions - being the current biggest problem I face.
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matheusimon7316
I love how videos like this and related to being single for too long, virgin or whatever focus way too much on what the person does like it's your fault and never touch on the matter of how hard it is to actually even find someone single and willing to give you a chance, tinder is a shit show, it only show super attractive people that are clearly there only for validation and even matching someone people put 0 effort with talking and in real life is nothing better, how many times I gone out and did things I enjoy and found nobody, it's already hard af to deal with the whole lack of romantic relationships and all kinda of advices that only build the frustration and sometimes are insulting, sometimes content like this just add salt to the injury
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I love how videos like this and related to being single for too long, virgin or whatever focus way too much on what the person does like it's your fault and never touch on the matter of how hard it is to actually even find someone single and willing to give you a chance, tinder is a shit show, it only show super attractive people that are clearly there only for validation and even matching someone people put 0 effort with talking and in real life is nothing better, how many times I gone out and did things I enjoy and found nobody, it's already hard af to deal with the whole lack of romantic relationships and all kinda of advices that only build the frustration and sometimes are insulting, sometimes content like this just add salt to the injury
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rikitikitavatiki
I think a big reason that's often overlooked is that some people (like me) are what I like to call terminally introverted. There is a very small circle of people in our lives (friends, co-workers, etc, and all of these people invariably already have a relationship of some kind. Since meeting new people is scary and drains a tremendous amount of energy, we don't go out of our way to expand that circle. This compounds any issues that might otherwise exist.
(Also I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that body positivity about oneself is largely irrelevant to attracting a partner, because the other person is not likely to disregard your physical appearance)
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I think a big reason that's often overlooked is that some people (like me) are what I like to call terminally introverted. There is a very small circle of people in our lives (friends, co-workers, etc, and all of these people invariably already have a relationship of some kind. Since meeting new people is scary and drains a tremendous amount of energy, we don't go out of our way to expand that circle. This compounds any issues that might otherwise exist.
(Also I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that body positivity about oneself is largely irrelevant to attracting a partner, because the other person is not likely to disregard your physical appearance)
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wicdavid
This seeems to assume that the viewer has a partner or someone around them that could be one in the future. I am disabled making it almost impossible to do anything other than be alone in the place I live. The people I do talk to are the people in my care team, they are doing their job and the idea they can be more than the professional caregiver is something that is very wrong and possibly cause the person to lose their job. So, the idea someone like myself who has zero contact with others outside of the care team is a bit of a joke to think that I can have any social life much less have a romantic relationship with someone.
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This seeems to assume that the viewer has a partner or someone around them that could be one in the future. I am disabled making it almost impossible to do anything other than be alone in the place I live. The people I do talk to are the people in my care team, they are doing their job and the idea they can be more than the professional caregiver is something that is very wrong and possibly cause the person to lose their job. So, the idea someone like myself who has zero contact with others outside of the care team is a bit of a joke to think that I can have any social life much less have a romantic relationship with someone.
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psych2go
I feel like I make my complaint in the comments of every vid now, but hey, I'm helping with the algorithm. My number one reason is definitely fear of intimacy, which has gotten so bad I don't even know how it's created. Even though I've befriended many a woman in the past years, I always end up being perceived as a good female friend as one of them put it (it rolls off the tongue better in our language. I'm told that if I want to create more meaningful relationships with them, I should make my intentions clear from the start, but. ew.
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I feel like I make my complaint in the comments of every vid now, but hey, I'm helping with the algorithm. My number one reason is definitely fear of intimacy, which has gotten so bad I don't even know how it's created. Even though I've befriended many a woman in the past years, I always end up being perceived as a good female friend as one of them put it (it rolls off the tongue better in our language. I'm told that if I want to create more meaningful relationships with them, I should make my intentions clear from the start, but. ew.
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wentillman8385
Why? Because I have more important things to accomplish in life than to worry how much I'm getting. I have kids, a job, rescue cats, and a home to take care of, plus a mile long to-do list to keep me busy until retirement. I've had enough relationships in my life that I no longer feel the pressure to be in one now. Yes, I have body and past relationship issues, but now I'm doing what I should have done all along. I love being the only person in my bed! I'm working on getting better sleep than I have had for the past 4 decades!
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Why? Because I have more important things to accomplish in life than to worry how much I'm getting. I have kids, a job, rescue cats, and a home to take care of, plus a mile long to-do list to keep me busy until retirement. I've had enough relationships in my life that I no longer feel the pressure to be in one now. Yes, I have body and past relationship issues, but now I'm doing what I should have done all along. I love being the only person in my bed! I'm working on getting better sleep than I have had for the past 4 decades!
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psych2go
Seeing alot of people venting their frustrations in the comments and at 31 years old with the absolute minimal experiences possible, I completely get it.
Despite this tho my advice would be to just keep at it, don't give up, or better yet, try not to think about it too intensely. Live your life and maybe one day you will find that special person. i know its not the best advice but i've personally decided its better to just keep up hope then give in to the madness of this unfair world.
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Seeing alot of people venting their frustrations in the comments and at 31 years old with the absolute minimal experiences possible, I completely get it.
Despite this tho my advice would be to just keep at it, don't give up, or better yet, try not to think about it too intensely. Live your life and maybe one day you will find that special person. i know its not the best advice but i've personally decided its better to just keep up hope then give in to the madness of this unfair world.
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julianstone1192
If your spending money on a therapist and there not empathetic or your just talking and therapy isn’t working atm, take the 200 /hr you pay them, and get a unique therapist that will actually help you with your problem
Then when your in a better perspective one can come back on working ones selves, learn emotional intelligence is the most important skill, but human touch and comfort is critical for good mental health, that’s why it can be such an emotionally cruel cycle
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If your spending money on a therapist and there not empathetic or your just talking and therapy isn’t working atm, take the 200 /hr you pay them, and get a unique therapist that will actually help you with your problem
Then when your in a better perspective one can come back on working ones selves, learn emotional intelligence is the most important skill, but human touch and comfort is critical for good mental health, that’s why it can be such an emotionally cruel cycle
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jpjfrey5673
Reason 0:
Not going out with anyone and can't find anyone
Reason 4. 1:
Overweight/too skinny/ugly/short and can't find anyone because like it or not, physical attractiveness is still the first thing people look at. Self-love doesn't matter if the goal is to be loved by someone else, nobody will see this beauty on the inside if they're repulsed by the outside
Reason 6:
Working in an environment where everyone is already old and/or married
Let's be realistic here
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Reason 0:
Not going out with anyone and can't find anyone
Reason 4. 1:
Overweight/too skinny/ugly/short and can't find anyone because like it or not, physical attractiveness is still the first thing people look at. Self-love doesn't matter if the goal is to be loved by someone else, nobody will see this beauty on the inside if they're repulsed by the outside
Reason 6:
Working in an environment where everyone is already old and/or married
Let's be realistic here
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Dragonmoon8526
I agree with everything.
But what stops me is my assumed perception of what other people will think of my looks, body, etc. ..
While personality, similar core values, and general compatibility are important.
People care about looks first.
I can fix my weight, and I can improve my physical form.
I can't change my face or other physical attributes that seem to have a greater importance than my sense of humor or kindness.
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I agree with everything.
But what stops me is my assumed perception of what other people will think of my looks, body, etc. ..
While personality, similar core values, and general compatibility are important.
People care about looks first.
I can fix my weight, and I can improve my physical form.
I can't change my face or other physical attributes that seem to have a greater importance than my sense of humor or kindness.
reply
zsoltlendvai5864
Technology, lack of social skills amoung the majority of people, economical issues, living with parents because rent simply can't affordable, small, broken up or non-existent friend group, lack of community, general fear and distrust from strangers, fear of talking to strangers because social media. The world is a harder place to live in than it was 20-30 years ago. Don't take all the responsibility. You are worthy of love.
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Technology, lack of social skills amoung the majority of people, economical issues, living with parents because rent simply can't affordable, small, broken up or non-existent friend group, lack of community, general fear and distrust from strangers, fear of talking to strangers because social media. The world is a harder place to live in than it was 20-30 years ago. Don't take all the responsibility. You are worthy of love.
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waynetech10
Past experiences, shared experiences, being told, and shown, that I'm not needed or wanted, and having these feelings discounted as didn't try hard enough, are concrete enough answers. I'm useful as a protector (black belt and military training, or to come up with financial strategies, if not outright pay for everything. Beyond that, I'm just another 5'8 guy who women see as punching down or lowering their standards.
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Past experiences, shared experiences, being told, and shown, that I'm not needed or wanted, and having these feelings discounted as didn't try hard enough, are concrete enough answers. I'm useful as a protector (black belt and military training, or to come up with financial strategies, if not outright pay for everything. Beyond that, I'm just another 5'8 guy who women see as punching down or lowering their standards.
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tchakaabeng1221
I'm a 24 male and don't socialise well. But when I do go out, I have trouble speaking to new people. So I just keep myself to myself. My friend, on the other hand, has no issues with taking and mingling with new people. I'm just too shy for that. Whenever I meet or start talking to anyone, it's by circumstance. I'd like to meet someone and get serious but I just don't think I'm best suited for that. Any help?
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I'm a 24 male and don't socialise well. But when I do go out, I have trouble speaking to new people. So I just keep myself to myself. My friend, on the other hand, has no issues with taking and mingling with new people. I'm just too shy for that. Whenever I meet or start talking to anyone, it's by circumstance. I'd like to meet someone and get serious but I just don't think I'm best suited for that. Any help?
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psych2go
All of the advice in this video is completely useless when I can't even meet someone I'm interested in. I'm not unattractive, and I have a lot of skills and interests, I go out quite a bit, but I never meet anyone. It really feels hopeless and pointless anymore. I wish sometimes I could just stop caring, be ace/aro and just live my life. But I can't. This loneliness is eating me away and destroying my happiness.
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All of the advice in this video is completely useless when I can't even meet someone I'm interested in. I'm not unattractive, and I have a lot of skills and interests, I go out quite a bit, but I never meet anyone. It really feels hopeless and pointless anymore. I wish sometimes I could just stop caring, be ace/aro and just live my life. But I can't. This loneliness is eating me away and destroying my happiness.
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_Hayato-
This video has fairly good advice in it, but it mostly applies to people already in a relationship. Sadly most people who have such issues struggle with entering a relationship in the first place, rather than nurturing one. From my experience I've met people who either constantly struggle to get girls and ultimately never do, or people who get girls by just existing. There's usually no in-between.
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This video has fairly good advice in it, but it mostly applies to people already in a relationship. Sadly most people who have such issues struggle with entering a relationship in the first place, rather than nurturing one. From my experience I've met people who either constantly struggle to get girls and ultimately never do, or people who get girls by just existing. There's usually no in-between.
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MegaManNeo
This is somehow interesting, I am okay by now with my looks.
The part about fear being not good enough however is something I carry with me from my last and only love relationship.
Talking to a therapist for few weeks now as well, so I hope I can improve not just on these aspects but many parts in my social life.
Something seriously difficult as introverted person, ngl.
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This is somehow interesting, I am okay by now with my looks.
The part about fear being not good enough however is something I carry with me from my last and only love relationship.
Talking to a therapist for few weeks now as well, so I hope I can improve not just on these aspects but many parts in my social life.
Something seriously difficult as introverted person, ngl.
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Han-bk8un
Honestly my biggest lacking is lack of financial stability, I do good workout, I'm at least confident enough with my physical appearance but because of lacking of financial stability it cost me need to focus on it first, making a move to looking for a partner, I dont mean to look at it lightly, but it is really simple but maintenance the relationship is really cost you money
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Honestly my biggest lacking is lack of financial stability, I do good workout, I'm at least confident enough with my physical appearance but because of lacking of financial stability it cost me need to focus on it first, making a move to looking for a partner, I dont mean to look at it lightly, but it is really simple but maintenance the relationship is really cost you money
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SrogaPoziomka
I would need to date somebody, but to date somebody, I would need to meet some new people, but it's not happening. I work 100% remotely, my hobbies are not very representative and I do them alone (or remotely as well) and I don't trust dating apps, as I believe the most important is first face to face talk. As you can see, this is hopeless and discouraging.
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I would need to date somebody, but to date somebody, I would need to meet some new people, but it's not happening. I work 100% remotely, my hobbies are not very representative and I do them alone (or remotely as well) and I don't trust dating apps, as I believe the most important is first face to face talk. As you can see, this is hopeless and discouraging.
reply
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