How To STOP Letting Social Anxiety Control You
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Date: 2024-09-02
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Comments and reviews: 20
ranc1977
Fear of being in social setting
This is incorrect data and it is misleading.
There is fear of criticism and scrutiny - which can occur in some kind of social setting (even online where there is no physical contact with people but only verbal.
If we believe that we are afraid of ALL social situations - this will lead to self fulfilling prophecy, where we will start to interpret our natural excitement as panic and anxiety and now we will feel totally new layers of social anxiety which come with psychiatry telling us and ordering us that we must be afraid of social settings.
In reality - 1-on-1 we won't feel social anxiety. If we trust people around us, we won't feel social anxiety. This is called Ventral Vagal.
So social settings does not equate social anxiety. It is only criticism and scrutiny - and this is crucial information due to complex trauma and operant conditioning and toxic shame and narcissistic abuse information and education that we need to learn about red flags and validate our avoidance of toxic people.
CBT's false explanation that we are afraid of social settings will propel us and push us to form and maintain social contact with parasites, dark triad and criminally insane people for the sake of curing our social anxiety.
Japanese social anxiety is different from the Western one, because Asians are afraid of BO or flatulence or vomiting in public - fear is more associated to physical ailments in public.
Telling us that social anxiety is irrational - is lie.
There is in-group bias where people form bias and prejudiced out of nothing and hate other people for being different that of designed groupthink.
Negative talk triggers anxiety
Nope. It is Ad Hominem criticism that triggers trauma of social anxiety which leads to automatic negative thoughts.
It is toxic people who are triggering it, not our mind.
Is this worry based on facts
What happens when it is based on facts
What then
How can we replace reality with fantasy that abusive people do not exist That would not be healthy reasoning.
You cannot please everybody
Which does not help if we are in toxic job that we cannot quit due to no finances, or in toxic ambient which we cannot leave due to no money.
Learn to laugh off mistake or embarrassment Learn to speak up for yourself
This does not work in narcissistic abuse ambient.
reply
Fear of being in social setting
This is incorrect data and it is misleading.
There is fear of criticism and scrutiny - which can occur in some kind of social setting (even online where there is no physical contact with people but only verbal.
If we believe that we are afraid of ALL social situations - this will lead to self fulfilling prophecy, where we will start to interpret our natural excitement as panic and anxiety and now we will feel totally new layers of social anxiety which come with psychiatry telling us and ordering us that we must be afraid of social settings.
In reality - 1-on-1 we won't feel social anxiety. If we trust people around us, we won't feel social anxiety. This is called Ventral Vagal.
So social settings does not equate social anxiety. It is only criticism and scrutiny - and this is crucial information due to complex trauma and operant conditioning and toxic shame and narcissistic abuse information and education that we need to learn about red flags and validate our avoidance of toxic people.
CBT's false explanation that we are afraid of social settings will propel us and push us to form and maintain social contact with parasites, dark triad and criminally insane people for the sake of curing our social anxiety.
Japanese social anxiety is different from the Western one, because Asians are afraid of BO or flatulence or vomiting in public - fear is more associated to physical ailments in public.
Telling us that social anxiety is irrational - is lie.
There is in-group bias where people form bias and prejudiced out of nothing and hate other people for being different that of designed groupthink.
Negative talk triggers anxiety
Nope. It is Ad Hominem criticism that triggers trauma of social anxiety which leads to automatic negative thoughts.
It is toxic people who are triggering it, not our mind.
Is this worry based on facts
What happens when it is based on facts
What then
How can we replace reality with fantasy that abusive people do not exist That would not be healthy reasoning.
You cannot please everybody
Which does not help if we are in toxic job that we cannot quit due to no finances, or in toxic ambient which we cannot leave due to no money.
Learn to laugh off mistake or embarrassment Learn to speak up for yourself
This does not work in narcissistic abuse ambient.
reply
psych2go
1. Spotlight effect vs Paranoia Interesting topic. I really wish to know the difference. I'm also like this but never diagnosed with Social Anxiety but I've different diagnoses.
2. Mind reading Does PTSD cause for this I mean, I strongly feel this rather than believing when I'm in crowded places or places which threatens me.
3. The problem is, many of the occasions, I was told to be more realistic but to be honest, the problem is, how can I actually know whether it's real or not. I felt like I was a person experimented by the USA government for special talents and there is a kinda embarrassing point where they dumped me. I told that I feel in this way to my therapist but how can I actually know whether it's true or not. Also, why does the government bother to prove the opposite even without a written formal letter something
4. Of course, I find peace in front of the screen on the platforms which aren't social media and if I'm with some people I wish to join them even if they don't. I mean, I unreasonably discover bullies but not friends. It's something which is kinda puzzling but I agree with the fact that it's not my fault that I get not accepted always. I think culture also takes a main role in this case.
5. Yeah. I already tried this but even smiling get awkward sometimes, there're my loved ones who support me but they also remark that gets wrong in this way. Especially why can't I regulate the most suitable facial expression in front of others
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1. Spotlight effect vs Paranoia Interesting topic. I really wish to know the difference. I'm also like this but never diagnosed with Social Anxiety but I've different diagnoses.
2. Mind reading Does PTSD cause for this I mean, I strongly feel this rather than believing when I'm in crowded places or places which threatens me.
3. The problem is, many of the occasions, I was told to be more realistic but to be honest, the problem is, how can I actually know whether it's real or not. I felt like I was a person experimented by the USA government for special talents and there is a kinda embarrassing point where they dumped me. I told that I feel in this way to my therapist but how can I actually know whether it's true or not. Also, why does the government bother to prove the opposite even without a written formal letter something
4. Of course, I find peace in front of the screen on the platforms which aren't social media and if I'm with some people I wish to join them even if they don't. I mean, I unreasonably discover bullies but not friends. It's something which is kinda puzzling but I agree with the fact that it's not my fault that I get not accepted always. I think culture also takes a main role in this case.
5. Yeah. I already tried this but even smiling get awkward sometimes, there're my loved ones who support me but they also remark that gets wrong in this way. Especially why can't I regulate the most suitable facial expression in front of others
reply
iiantixsocial
I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I'm 19. I don't know what the cause or trigger is, since I haven't had negative experiences prior to developing social anxiety. It just sorta popped up. Though, I have been sheltered all my childhood, and I'm an introvert. The only friends I really have are online. The times I have tried to socialize in high school, I get this overwhelming wave of anxiety, this huge feeling of judgement from the person, and I just want to run and escape the conversation asap cuz I hate it so much. I always feel like I'm doing or saying something wrong even if it's saying hi or asking what someone's hobbies are. My mind goes blank if I don't already have conversation topics planned. If the conversation is short, I feel like I failed or embarrassed myself in some way. I've even assumed people hate me, don't like me, don't want to talk to me or feel forced to talk to me because I spoke to them. After a simple conversation, I need to calm down for like 30 minutes. It's kinda gotten to the point where my body/mind just has no motivation/courage to talk to people anymore. Usually I'd have the motivation/courage to at least try and talk to someone to make a friend, like ok! I'm gonna talk to them! but now that's just gone and I just don't want to talk to people. I don't care about it, even though I really want irl friends. I also have dreams about having solid irl friendships one day and I wake up in tears
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I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I'm 19. I don't know what the cause or trigger is, since I haven't had negative experiences prior to developing social anxiety. It just sorta popped up. Though, I have been sheltered all my childhood, and I'm an introvert. The only friends I really have are online. The times I have tried to socialize in high school, I get this overwhelming wave of anxiety, this huge feeling of judgement from the person, and I just want to run and escape the conversation asap cuz I hate it so much. I always feel like I'm doing or saying something wrong even if it's saying hi or asking what someone's hobbies are. My mind goes blank if I don't already have conversation topics planned. If the conversation is short, I feel like I failed or embarrassed myself in some way. I've even assumed people hate me, don't like me, don't want to talk to me or feel forced to talk to me because I spoke to them. After a simple conversation, I need to calm down for like 30 minutes. It's kinda gotten to the point where my body/mind just has no motivation/courage to talk to people anymore. Usually I'd have the motivation/courage to at least try and talk to someone to make a friend, like ok! I'm gonna talk to them! but now that's just gone and I just don't want to talk to people. I don't care about it, even though I really want irl friends. I also have dreams about having solid irl friendships one day and I wake up in tears
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Nothingbutdust_
I struggle with this very badly. I'm basically a hikikomori by now. But I couldn't find any actually helpful advice to battle this. My reasonings are not based on assumotions but facts. Reality has proven that. Sometimes there's valid reasons to hide and avoid people and sometimes there's nothing you can do about the way that people percieve you. In my case I'm born with birth defects, which has led to bullying since childhood. Even strangers gave me ugly faces and insulted me on the street for no reason while I was just happily going about my business just to ruin my day and my mood. I've actually even been spit at in the face by a person I barely knew. His reason Did you know that you're so ugly and disgusting that no one would ever like you was his answer when I asked him why he did that. It wasn't even as if I knew him, I hadn't even spoken to him before nor was I at all interested in him, I was just a young teen and he was also just a boy a few years younger than me but. These things are not just something you can just shake off or try to reason with.
Sometimes life's also like that.
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I struggle with this very badly. I'm basically a hikikomori by now. But I couldn't find any actually helpful advice to battle this. My reasonings are not based on assumotions but facts. Reality has proven that. Sometimes there's valid reasons to hide and avoid people and sometimes there's nothing you can do about the way that people percieve you. In my case I'm born with birth defects, which has led to bullying since childhood. Even strangers gave me ugly faces and insulted me on the street for no reason while I was just happily going about my business just to ruin my day and my mood. I've actually even been spit at in the face by a person I barely knew. His reason Did you know that you're so ugly and disgusting that no one would ever like you was his answer when I asked him why he did that. It wasn't even as if I knew him, I hadn't even spoken to him before nor was I at all interested in him, I was just a young teen and he was also just a boy a few years younger than me but. These things are not just something you can just shake off or try to reason with.
Sometimes life's also like that.
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Play-All-The-Games
Catastrophizing is so crppling sometimes. When we already fear the worst, and the worst occurs, not once but several times, you begin to feel like the universe is plotting against you. Why try when every effort ends in failure Take it from someone who lives it. just getting out of bed can be the biggest thing you might do in a day when anxiety is controlling you.
CW: Everything
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I've been surrounded by death, betrayal, abandonment, and abuse (physical and mental) all my life. In my head there is every reason the worst case scenario will occur. 38 years of not knowing what was wrong with me. CPTSD has invaded my existence. But there IS hope to those who know what I'm on about. It's never too late to begin again. It's hard, and often you'll feel like it may be too much work. Sometimes a fresh new place, or new people are required to fuel the effort. And you're going to grieve what's gone. That's natural. But to quote Alfred from Batman Begins, Why do we fall So we can learn to pick ourselves back up. I believe in you.
reply
Catastrophizing is so crppling sometimes. When we already fear the worst, and the worst occurs, not once but several times, you begin to feel like the universe is plotting against you. Why try when every effort ends in failure Take it from someone who lives it. just getting out of bed can be the biggest thing you might do in a day when anxiety is controlling you.
CW: Everything
>
>
>
>
>
>
I've been surrounded by death, betrayal, abandonment, and abuse (physical and mental) all my life. In my head there is every reason the worst case scenario will occur. 38 years of not knowing what was wrong with me. CPTSD has invaded my existence. But there IS hope to those who know what I'm on about. It's never too late to begin again. It's hard, and often you'll feel like it may be too much work. Sometimes a fresh new place, or new people are required to fuel the effort. And you're going to grieve what's gone. That's natural. But to quote Alfred from Batman Begins, Why do we fall So we can learn to pick ourselves back up. I believe in you.
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jts1705
The fact is It's never about the people its always you who trying to control you because when you walk through people and you think about these people are judging you and that's not true. The truth is your brain telling you that they are judging you and make you feel insecure about yourself. Even though, I try to avoid my negative thoughts about myself and walking through people I meant I used to be so confident and not think about other people and it was the best feeling when I felt so free. I'm trying to get that back. Yo yall, take care of yourself and try not compare yourself to other people. That shit messed my mind up and ruined my own self confidence. Also, thank you for making this video that'll help me to get back on the track.
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The fact is It's never about the people its always you who trying to control you because when you walk through people and you think about these people are judging you and that's not true. The truth is your brain telling you that they are judging you and make you feel insecure about yourself. Even though, I try to avoid my negative thoughts about myself and walking through people I meant I used to be so confident and not think about other people and it was the best feeling when I felt so free. I'm trying to get that back. Yo yall, take care of yourself and try not compare yourself to other people. That shit messed my mind up and ruined my own self confidence. Also, thank you for making this video that'll help me to get back on the track.
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Faith_To_Fate
I constantly tell myself that I’m not worth anything except my achievements and that if I fail people will all judge and hate me
It started when I was a child, the attention of my classmates was always on others, never on me and the only times I got attention were when I got the best or one of the best grades so obviously I started focusing on that which ended up in me becoming like this
I’m desperate for attention because I get so little of it, I even started an entire new hobby (drawing) just because I realised I got attention for my drawings (drawing later became something that I use to let my nervous energy out and it helps me focus in class, I have a concentration problem and daydream to much)
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I constantly tell myself that I’m not worth anything except my achievements and that if I fail people will all judge and hate me
It started when I was a child, the attention of my classmates was always on others, never on me and the only times I got attention were when I got the best or one of the best grades so obviously I started focusing on that which ended up in me becoming like this
I’m desperate for attention because I get so little of it, I even started an entire new hobby (drawing) just because I realised I got attention for my drawings (drawing later became something that I use to let my nervous energy out and it helps me focus in class, I have a concentration problem and daydream to much)
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robertgaines-tulsa
My social anxiety is mostly based on PTSD. I know how to blend in, but I am conscious about anything controversial that can set off karens. For instance, I might spot and be horrified when someone beats their kid out in public, but intervening will just make it worse. There's not much you can do about it while it's legal to beat children. That's just a fault of society in general.
Trying to figure out how to expose myself to public is another problem when you're poor and people are biased. I dream of moving somewhere where there are people that are less biased and more accepting of others, but it's likely a fool's errand.
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My social anxiety is mostly based on PTSD. I know how to blend in, but I am conscious about anything controversial that can set off karens. For instance, I might spot and be horrified when someone beats their kid out in public, but intervening will just make it worse. There's not much you can do about it while it's legal to beat children. That's just a fault of society in general.
Trying to figure out how to expose myself to public is another problem when you're poor and people are biased. I dream of moving somewhere where there are people that are less biased and more accepting of others, but it's likely a fool's errand.
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sukarin_senpai
Well now I don’t know what I have. I do get nervous talking to people but my reason is because I fear not knowing what to say or what to talk about. I can talk pretty normally when we have a topic that we need to talk about for a project or class discussion.
Talking for leisure isn’t something I do or try to do because I have no interest in others and only care about my own interests. I know this isn’t a good thing and I’ve been told to just talk about anything even if it doesn’t interest me. But then, talking will never be enjoyable for me if that’s the case.
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Well now I don’t know what I have. I do get nervous talking to people but my reason is because I fear not knowing what to say or what to talk about. I can talk pretty normally when we have a topic that we need to talk about for a project or class discussion.
Talking for leisure isn’t something I do or try to do because I have no interest in others and only care about my own interests. I know this isn’t a good thing and I’ve been told to just talk about anything even if it doesn’t interest me. But then, talking will never be enjoyable for me if that’s the case.
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jakinter2599
This was very interesting. Now i am more aware that i have social anxiety. I don't like social settings because, in my experiences, they were mean or unconsiderate, and remembering that gets me nervous every time. Of course not everyone is like that, but when you know a new person, its an emotional roller-coaster that want to avoid. I like this video and i wish there would be more about social anxiety videos here, because i still having trouble with that for a very long time, years. Thank you Psych2go to talk about this topics
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This was very interesting. Now i am more aware that i have social anxiety. I don't like social settings because, in my experiences, they were mean or unconsiderate, and remembering that gets me nervous every time. Of course not everyone is like that, but when you know a new person, its an emotional roller-coaster that want to avoid. I like this video and i wish there would be more about social anxiety videos here, because i still having trouble with that for a very long time, years. Thank you Psych2go to talk about this topics
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riomarina9764
Ive had crippling social anxiety ever since I could remember. This isn’t unfounded though, I grew up bullied and shunned by most people in my life, peers, family, friends, etc. Socializing isn’t a safe thing for me, it never has been, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want good healthy connections with people. My social anxiety just makes me completely shut down in any sort of social interaction, which means making those meaningful connections with people basically impossible.
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Ive had crippling social anxiety ever since I could remember. This isn’t unfounded though, I grew up bullied and shunned by most people in my life, peers, family, friends, etc. Socializing isn’t a safe thing for me, it never has been, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want good healthy connections with people. My social anxiety just makes me completely shut down in any sort of social interaction, which means making those meaningful connections with people basically impossible.
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philledzone
What helped me is genuinely not caring about what other people think about me anymore. Suddenly I can actuay use the phone at work. I just dont care anymore because I know what I'm doing is normal and the person on the other side probably wont kill me if I make a mistake. We're all just humans and a lot of us have probably been in similar situations
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What helped me is genuinely not caring about what other people think about me anymore. Suddenly I can actuay use the phone at work. I just dont care anymore because I know what I'm doing is normal and the person on the other side probably wont kill me if I make a mistake. We're all just humans and a lot of us have probably been in similar situations
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KikiandfriendsXD
OKAY YOU ARE MY SAVIOR
Tomorrow I am going back to high school and I am super stressed because I have general anxiety and a really bad past with socializing and it already caused me to spend the whole year alone, this video came at the right time! I am gonna try to follow your advices and hopefully finally make friends
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OKAY YOU ARE MY SAVIOR
Tomorrow I am going back to high school and I am super stressed because I have general anxiety and a really bad past with socializing and it already caused me to spend the whole year alone, this video came at the right time! I am gonna try to follow your advices and hopefully finally make friends
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Hafgren
I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I used to be able to hide it and pretend that everything was okay. However, after having a brain tumor, I've been left with physical issues that make it impossible for me to just pretend like everything is okay like I used to, but I'm working on it.
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I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I used to be able to hide it and pretend that everything was okay. However, after having a brain tumor, I've been left with physical issues that make it impossible for me to just pretend like everything is okay like I used to, but I'm working on it.
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roguelegend4945
social anxiety is just fear of people and their mistakes. being strong means hurting others, so you choose to not be strong to not hurt anyone. the strong ones think its weakness so they hurt you a bit more, sorry to inform you people are not very smart. they hurt people even when they don't know it.
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social anxiety is just fear of people and their mistakes. being strong means hurting others, so you choose to not be strong to not hurt anyone. the strong ones think its weakness so they hurt you a bit more, sorry to inform you people are not very smart. they hurt people even when they don't know it.
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curruptedcoffee
Agreed to some extent I have anxiety somedays are good and others not so much I suffered for years but people just said I was in my own shell I recommend starting a job with a brutly honest person because you know the mistakes made and it not being urself and the praise given actually means something
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Agreed to some extent I have anxiety somedays are good and others not so much I suffered for years but people just said I was in my own shell I recommend starting a job with a brutly honest person because you know the mistakes made and it not being urself and the praise given actually means something
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Recognise where the spotlight is 1: 10
2. Address the negative beliefs tied to your social anxiety 1: 55
3. Be more realistic 3: 17
4. Be more assertive 3: 57
5. Learn to handle mistakes 5: 01
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Recognise where the spotlight is 1: 10
2. Address the negative beliefs tied to your social anxiety 1: 55
3. Be more realistic 3: 17
4. Be more assertive 3: 57
5. Learn to handle mistakes 5: 01
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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keip4568
Social Anxiety is serious for some people as they completely shut down with any public confrontation as they see it as one. Rather than someone asking a question. Causing overthinking of always being negatively judged by others. In some ways it is pessimism.
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Social Anxiety is serious for some people as they completely shut down with any public confrontation as they see it as one. Rather than someone asking a question. Causing overthinking of always being negatively judged by others. In some ways it is pessimism.
reply
MamaWhit87
My children helped me break out of it somewhat because I'll step out if the house more because of them. If I didnt have them, I think I'd be a hermit, idk. I'm still particular about who and where I'm going. I want to be around other parents like me.
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My children helped me break out of it somewhat because I'll step out if the house more because of them. If I didnt have them, I think I'd be a hermit, idk. I'm still particular about who and where I'm going. I want to be around other parents like me.
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Kosmokapu_Aate
Social anxiety, in my hypothesis, has a deep underlying of anxious person being a rebellious, truth seeking and creative figure in their mind thus they develop normative consciousness as a result from being discriminated by peers and/or parents.
reply
Social anxiety, in my hypothesis, has a deep underlying of anxious person being a rebellious, truth seeking and creative figure in their mind thus they develop normative consciousness as a result from being discriminated by peers and/or parents.
reply
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