5 Empowering Advice That’s Actually Toxic
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Date: 2024-09-01
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Comments and reviews: 20
Mamadragon2620
My MIL is an only a positive vibes person. She’ll bring up if you tell her what’s bothering you how people out there have cancer so our problems don’t matter and be happy you don’t have cancer and to stop complaining. Or another time
trigger warning: sx abuse mentioned
It came out I was trafficked as a child by my bio father and when she found out about it she sat me down and told me how she was mlested by her uncle and this is an unfortunate side effect of being a girl and it happens to all girls eventually so we need to move on from it since it happens to all girls and if I don’t drop it I’m only going to make others uncomfortable with me (I only told my therapist and my husband and she’s the one who harassed and manipulated my husband to tell her. My first thought was what kind of people are you hanging out with that you’re taking my daughters to see when you’re watching them. Needless to say I don’t like my MIL one bit let alone talk to her about anything and my husband learned not to tell her things like that anymore no matter how hard she tries to pry it out
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My MIL is an only a positive vibes person. She’ll bring up if you tell her what’s bothering you how people out there have cancer so our problems don’t matter and be happy you don’t have cancer and to stop complaining. Or another time
trigger warning: sx abuse mentioned
It came out I was trafficked as a child by my bio father and when she found out about it she sat me down and told me how she was mlested by her uncle and this is an unfortunate side effect of being a girl and it happens to all girls eventually so we need to move on from it since it happens to all girls and if I don’t drop it I’m only going to make others uncomfortable with me (I only told my therapist and my husband and she’s the one who harassed and manipulated my husband to tell her. My first thought was what kind of people are you hanging out with that you’re taking my daughters to see when you’re watching them. Needless to say I don’t like my MIL one bit let alone talk to her about anything and my husband learned not to tell her things like that anymore no matter how hard she tries to pry it out
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psych2go
1. Constructive feedback is good indeed. Although I guess it shouldn't be manipulative. I've experienced such useless feedbacks and in the back of their mind they're sadistic. I mean, the bullies I encountered in my school Van especially.
2. Could you/anyone in the comment section clarify me what this point is I've been previous diagnosed with mental illnesses including Schizophrenia and currently mental illnesses including PTSD and rather than everything, I try to make friends but something goes wrong. Many people don't like to associate me for long enough. So, what Trauma Response and. (I'm confused)
3. I guess there're commentators who really should listen to this fact.
4. I severely experience this. Smile facade.
5. This is especially good thing to do in case we would encounter the sort of gaslighting people as mentioned above. I wonder whether there would be anything else which would make them angrier than not giving a. Although, I learned that we ought to have patience.
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1. Constructive feedback is good indeed. Although I guess it shouldn't be manipulative. I've experienced such useless feedbacks and in the back of their mind they're sadistic. I mean, the bullies I encountered in my school Van especially.
2. Could you/anyone in the comment section clarify me what this point is I've been previous diagnosed with mental illnesses including Schizophrenia and currently mental illnesses including PTSD and rather than everything, I try to make friends but something goes wrong. Many people don't like to associate me for long enough. So, what Trauma Response and. (I'm confused)
3. I guess there're commentators who really should listen to this fact.
4. I severely experience this. Smile facade.
5. This is especially good thing to do in case we would encounter the sort of gaslighting people as mentioned above. I wonder whether there would be anything else which would make them angrier than not giving a. Although, I learned that we ought to have patience.
reply
ViceN53X
The key to these messages is who these messages are coming from, who's taking those messages to heart, and why they say or listen to those empowering messages. Because these days, those empowering messages could drive a person to think that it's okay to do the wrong thing as if you were right to do those wrong things.
Finding yourself for example is an Empowering message that I've seen being told amongst women. But that often leads to women cheating on their partners. It's in this degenerate modern culture that those empowering messages permit those heinous acts.
I have been taught to humble myself. I acknowledge that I am not perfect but am still allowed a chance to build good life. But I should never embrace the rights to make immoral decisions, even if the laws, the culture, the trends all allow it.
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The key to these messages is who these messages are coming from, who's taking those messages to heart, and why they say or listen to those empowering messages. Because these days, those empowering messages could drive a person to think that it's okay to do the wrong thing as if you were right to do those wrong things.
Finding yourself for example is an Empowering message that I've seen being told amongst women. But that often leads to women cheating on their partners. It's in this degenerate modern culture that those empowering messages permit those heinous acts.
I have been taught to humble myself. I acknowledge that I am not perfect but am still allowed a chance to build good life. But I should never embrace the rights to make immoral decisions, even if the laws, the culture, the trends all allow it.
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Vishfeast
I have a lone wolf syndrome cause I have severe adhd, even as an adult. I used to fly by the seat of my pants with interactions and it became way to over bearing! Especially with my career at the time, for me I understand the importance of my alone time to clear my thoughts and find peace.
As long as others aren’t creating to your chaos you should be social and learn off others! It’s just for some people our chaotic mind sets and unpredictability make us very amusing to some people, but then a lot of people forget I have adhd and then start to misinterpret my behaviours without any empathy and then I gotta fight off peoples perceptions of me. It’s exhausting! But once again that’s just my personal choice!
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I have a lone wolf syndrome cause I have severe adhd, even as an adult. I used to fly by the seat of my pants with interactions and it became way to over bearing! Especially with my career at the time, for me I understand the importance of my alone time to clear my thoughts and find peace.
As long as others aren’t creating to your chaos you should be social and learn off others! It’s just for some people our chaotic mind sets and unpredictability make us very amusing to some people, but then a lot of people forget I have adhd and then start to misinterpret my behaviours without any empathy and then I gotta fight off peoples perceptions of me. It’s exhausting! But once again that’s just my personal choice!
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psych2go
It's not that I want to do everything by myself it's I have to. I am and have been alone for most of my life and I no longer know what I a doing wrong that people I choose either hurt me (psychologically and physically) or use me and just leave. I don't know how to build relationships anymore because I have been tossed away more times than I can remember. So yeah, I live as if nobody gives a damn about me, because no one does. It's not a choice, it's necessity.
And last time I reached to my friend for support she asked me how long will my grief over my dog last. My dog was then gone just 1, 5 month. Thanks, but no thanks for such support. :/
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It's not that I want to do everything by myself it's I have to. I am and have been alone for most of my life and I no longer know what I a doing wrong that people I choose either hurt me (psychologically and physically) or use me and just leave. I don't know how to build relationships anymore because I have been tossed away more times than I can remember. So yeah, I live as if nobody gives a damn about me, because no one does. It's not a choice, it's necessity.
And last time I reached to my friend for support she asked me how long will my grief over my dog last. My dog was then gone just 1, 5 month. Thanks, but no thanks for such support. :/
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siennaprice1351
I always care what everyone thinks. This is why I hide my true self. Because everyone will judge me if I show any points of my true self. Another thing, I’m harsh with myself every time I make a mistake. I don’t sugarcoat anything. I tell it how it is. If I don’t be mean and harsh with myself, how will I learn Being nice to myself and gentle with myself doesn’t do anything. It’s called tough love. Not self abuse. If I make a mistake, when I say, when are you ever gonna learn Why aren’t you fixed Shouldn’t you be cured by now That’s tough love. It’s not self abuse. I have to be harsh on myself in order for me to learn.
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I always care what everyone thinks. This is why I hide my true self. Because everyone will judge me if I show any points of my true self. Another thing, I’m harsh with myself every time I make a mistake. I don’t sugarcoat anything. I tell it how it is. If I don’t be mean and harsh with myself, how will I learn Being nice to myself and gentle with myself doesn’t do anything. It’s called tough love. Not self abuse. If I make a mistake, when I say, when are you ever gonna learn Why aren’t you fixed Shouldn’t you be cured by now That’s tough love. It’s not self abuse. I have to be harsh on myself in order for me to learn.
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Pomeraman
I come across too many people out there who have absolutely zero understanding about mental illness that everything that comes out of their mouth is a never ending parade of toxic positivity, like they want you to pretend that your problems don’t exist. It’s like every time someone tells me to man up, my mental health struggles are all in my head and that I should just smile more and grind harder, it feels like a slap in the face especially when too many of life’s curveballs are being thrown my way. It always feels like my struggles are always being dismissed as if they’re just telling me to put glitter on a dumpster fire.
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I come across too many people out there who have absolutely zero understanding about mental illness that everything that comes out of their mouth is a never ending parade of toxic positivity, like they want you to pretend that your problems don’t exist. It’s like every time someone tells me to man up, my mental health struggles are all in my head and that I should just smile more and grind harder, it feels like a slap in the face especially when too many of life’s curveballs are being thrown my way. It always feels like my struggles are always being dismissed as if they’re just telling me to put glitter on a dumpster fire.
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brockhodge3225
Some of these are taken out of context and using the worst possible context.
But the best advice I’ve received so far has been: Why do you have two hands Why do you have two legs Why do you think you have eyes So why do you think you have anxiety and depression It’s what we’ve evolved to have to tell us something. Anxiety is there to tell you to protect yourself, and depression is a sign of change that needs to be made, and the longer you run from them the longer it will take to overcome them.
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Some of these are taken out of context and using the worst possible context.
But the best advice I’ve received so far has been: Why do you have two hands Why do you have two legs Why do you think you have eyes So why do you think you have anxiety and depression It’s what we’ve evolved to have to tell us something. Anxiety is there to tell you to protect yourself, and depression is a sign of change that needs to be made, and the longer you run from them the longer it will take to overcome them.
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EcpliseCrow
Timestamps and Major Points
1) 0: 38 Disguising bad behavior as just being yourself
2) 1: 31 You don't need anyone
3) 2: 41 It's all about your looks
4) 4: 01 Positive vibes only!
5) 5: 21 NEVER care what other people think
Outro: 7: 03
Don't beat yourself for taking any of this toxic advice. None of us are perfect, and your preferences will be dependent to yourself. Be yourself, but try to be the very best version of yourself!
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Timestamps and Major Points
1) 0: 38 Disguising bad behavior as just being yourself
2) 1: 31 You don't need anyone
3) 2: 41 It's all about your looks
4) 4: 01 Positive vibes only!
5) 5: 21 NEVER care what other people think
Outro: 7: 03
Don't beat yourself for taking any of this toxic advice. None of us are perfect, and your preferences will be dependent to yourself. Be yourself, but try to be the very best version of yourself!
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derickpoteet7502
As someone dealing with separation in my relationship, the advice I hear is terrible. People tell you what they think they would do, not what's best for YOU. And 9/10 of the time it's coming from people who are unhappy themselves and following their advice is often gonna lead you to the same place. We often know what we need to do, we're just too scared to do it. Follow your hearts advice or you'll end up betraying it and be miserable anyway.
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As someone dealing with separation in my relationship, the advice I hear is terrible. People tell you what they think they would do, not what's best for YOU. And 9/10 of the time it's coming from people who are unhappy themselves and following their advice is often gonna lead you to the same place. We often know what we need to do, we're just too scared to do it. Follow your hearts advice or you'll end up betraying it and be miserable anyway.
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prakhya123
Not to be weird, but right now I don't have anyone to share my thoughts to. I don’t want to burden my parents with my personal life issues and hence, I tend to hide my real side. The thought of you don't need anyone conforts me to think that I will always be there for myself. It makes me feel good that in the mean time of me being lonely, I am there for myself until one day, I meet those that are meant for me.
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Not to be weird, but right now I don't have anyone to share my thoughts to. I don’t want to burden my parents with my personal life issues and hence, I tend to hide my real side. The thought of you don't need anyone conforts me to think that I will always be there for myself. It makes me feel good that in the mean time of me being lonely, I am there for myself until one day, I meet those that are meant for me.
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anthonyphan702
I have not felt to trust anyone since 2020: that was a watershed moment where it became horrifyingly obvious to me that many people have no authentic thoughts of their own. I'm trying to trust and find a tribe of reasonable people, but maybe I've been cursed to find myself stranded amongst a lot of well-meaning, but underdeveloped people. It's isolating.
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I have not felt to trust anyone since 2020: that was a watershed moment where it became horrifyingly obvious to me that many people have no authentic thoughts of their own. I'm trying to trust and find a tribe of reasonable people, but maybe I've been cursed to find myself stranded amongst a lot of well-meaning, but underdeveloped people. It's isolating.
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psych2go
As a variation of Just be yourself there’s Just do whatever you feel like. On the one hand it can be good advice to try to do what you enjoy doing, but on the other hand it can be bad advice if you like doing something that isn’t necessarily a good thing or a lucrative thing and it’s basically a terrible thing to tell someone who is asking for advice.
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As a variation of Just be yourself there’s Just do whatever you feel like. On the one hand it can be good advice to try to do what you enjoy doing, but on the other hand it can be bad advice if you like doing something that isn’t necessarily a good thing or a lucrative thing and it’s basically a terrible thing to tell someone who is asking for advice.
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markprothero2666
The mainstream advice we are being given effectively is to act more hedonistic, selfish, even entitled, and that other people should just screw themselves they don’t like it. Thankfully, most of us still know better than that. It is mostly social isolated and slightly awkward teenagers who get conned into believing this crap.
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The mainstream advice we are being given effectively is to act more hedonistic, selfish, even entitled, and that other people should just screw themselves they don’t like it. Thankfully, most of us still know better than that. It is mostly social isolated and slightly awkward teenagers who get conned into believing this crap.
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FrostbiterGrounded
I help/& tell myself that sometimes it depends on the situation, and also atleast i have done something.
Sometimes i tell others to take care of themselves despite the situation for their health or find a balance between their needs, and life tasks.
But still there's a flaw on my advice, and self too, welp
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I help/& tell myself that sometimes it depends on the situation, and also atleast i have done something.
Sometimes i tell others to take care of themselves despite the situation for their health or find a balance between their needs, and life tasks.
But still there's a flaw on my advice, and self too, welp
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angeldelvax7219
Yes, there is such a thing as bad advice. Sure, most advice can be good for one, and bad for another. But some advice is good for everyone, and some is bad for everyone.
Some good advice that really helps me to keep going
Your best is good enough. En what your best is can be different from day to day.
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Yes, there is such a thing as bad advice. Sure, most advice can be good for one, and bad for another. But some advice is good for everyone, and some is bad for everyone.
Some good advice that really helps me to keep going
Your best is good enough. En what your best is can be different from day to day.
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Disguising bad behaviour as just being yourself 0: 37
2. You don't need anyone 1: 31
3. It's all about your looks 2: 41
4. Positive vibes only 4: 02
5. Never care what other people think 5: 22
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Disguising bad behaviour as just being yourself 0: 37
2. You don't need anyone 1: 31
3. It's all about your looks 2: 41
4. Positive vibes only 4: 02
5. Never care what other people think 5: 22
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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psych2go
The problem with being dependent for someone like me is that when i do want help and do ask i get shunned pushed away and dismissed so im a lone wolf because i dont have any other choice i have to be independent to survive because nobody will be there when i need them
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The problem with being dependent for someone like me is that when i do want help and do ask i get shunned pushed away and dismissed so im a lone wolf because i dont have any other choice i have to be independent to survive because nobody will be there when i need them
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11conormcloughlin
The best advice I can give is to never approach life with the black and white, this or that attitude. The ability to compromise is understanding that life is complicated and that there’s an infinite amount of shades of grey between black and white.
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The best advice I can give is to never approach life with the black and white, this or that attitude. The ability to compromise is understanding that life is complicated and that there’s an infinite amount of shades of grey between black and white.
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davids2096
Thanks for all this pertinent information! As I've mentioned before, as you have, life is a balancing act! It doesn't come with a set of instructions or a cheat sheet, unfortunately! I hope we make it through without agonizing too much! Good luck!
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Thanks for all this pertinent information! As I've mentioned before, as you have, life is a balancing act! It doesn't come with a set of instructions or a cheat sheet, unfortunately! I hope we make it through without agonizing too much! Good luck!
reply
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