Reasons You Have NO Friends
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Date: 2025-06-18
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Comments and reviews: 20
trancekingpj
I have no friends.
In many regards I enjoy my solitude though as I do at least get to see my kids on a fairly regular basis, but the rest of the time there's nobody else other than occasional interactions with supermarket staff when I go shopping. At this moment in time that is plenty for me however I also know that in my not to distant future I will be moving from where I currently am to somewhere a lot further away and into a lifestyle which will allow me to travel a lot more. As a consequence of this knowledge of my future I see no point in making friends locally to me as I will only end up moving and never coming back to the place where I currently live and so wouldn't be in contact with them ever again.
On top of all this I am someone who had undiagnosed ADHD for several decades of my life. During those undiagnosed times I couldn't get to grips with socialising as neurotypical brains do and this led to me letting a lot of people into my life who subsequently either abused me, took advantage of me, or were just generally unsuited to the person I actually was (people pleasing is such an awful thing to do to yourself. This has put me in a place where I have a massive mistrust of others and I refuse to open up unless I can really get to know people on a deeper level. I am down to the last 2 or 3 decades of my life so I'm not exactly positive that good people will present themselves in one way or another and so I see my future life being as alone then as it is now. I especially feel that it is unlikely that I will end up with a partner of any description as what I know I want from someone is quite a high ask as well. I am comfortable with this though and whilst I am open to someone with the right characteristics coming along I am yet to be convinced it will happen as it is statistically unlikely - especially in my future life where I will be far from people and in a place of solitude.
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I have no friends.
In many regards I enjoy my solitude though as I do at least get to see my kids on a fairly regular basis, but the rest of the time there's nobody else other than occasional interactions with supermarket staff when I go shopping. At this moment in time that is plenty for me however I also know that in my not to distant future I will be moving from where I currently am to somewhere a lot further away and into a lifestyle which will allow me to travel a lot more. As a consequence of this knowledge of my future I see no point in making friends locally to me as I will only end up moving and never coming back to the place where I currently live and so wouldn't be in contact with them ever again.
On top of all this I am someone who had undiagnosed ADHD for several decades of my life. During those undiagnosed times I couldn't get to grips with socialising as neurotypical brains do and this led to me letting a lot of people into my life who subsequently either abused me, took advantage of me, or were just generally unsuited to the person I actually was (people pleasing is such an awful thing to do to yourself. This has put me in a place where I have a massive mistrust of others and I refuse to open up unless I can really get to know people on a deeper level. I am down to the last 2 or 3 decades of my life so I'm not exactly positive that good people will present themselves in one way or another and so I see my future life being as alone then as it is now. I especially feel that it is unlikely that I will end up with a partner of any description as what I know I want from someone is quite a high ask as well. I am comfortable with this though and whilst I am open to someone with the right characteristics coming along I am yet to be convinced it will happen as it is statistically unlikely - especially in my future life where I will be far from people and in a place of solitude.
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alexm9653
I feel lonely sometimes. I commented on some other psych2go video's talking about self reflection, me wanting to be invisible but be my own protector when people acknowledge my existence. I have mentioned before about not feeling a connection with family or 'friends'. When I read my old comments, I still stand by every word, whether they come from a position of strength, whether they come from a place of self doubt or from a place somewhere in between.
The reason why I have little to no friends is because I cannot form any connection with people around me. The little kid in me still cannot get used to growing up, I sometimes feel like I'm viewing the world through the eyes of a 8 y/o, like I'm experiencing some things as someone much younger than me and with everything that happened growing up, I learned that being by myself is the only way to stay alive. And on top of all that, I have severe depression. Most days it's hard to take care of myself, how am I supposed to build and keep friendships The people I am close with have the same issues as me, so they understand and adjust. However, it's still difficult.
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I feel lonely sometimes. I commented on some other psych2go video's talking about self reflection, me wanting to be invisible but be my own protector when people acknowledge my existence. I have mentioned before about not feeling a connection with family or 'friends'. When I read my old comments, I still stand by every word, whether they come from a position of strength, whether they come from a place of self doubt or from a place somewhere in between.
The reason why I have little to no friends is because I cannot form any connection with people around me. The little kid in me still cannot get used to growing up, I sometimes feel like I'm viewing the world through the eyes of a 8 y/o, like I'm experiencing some things as someone much younger than me and with everything that happened growing up, I learned that being by myself is the only way to stay alive. And on top of all that, I have severe depression. Most days it's hard to take care of myself, how am I supposed to build and keep friendships The people I am close with have the same issues as me, so they understand and adjust. However, it's still difficult.
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renonly. 8219
This helped me a lot, Psych2go! It made me realize that solitude creates starting over, creativity, resilience, self-sufficiency, and self-reflection. Despite the issues that I created or was involved in, my mom told me that I don't need friends if I have a negative attitude. So, it sparked my mind that I have to be independent, claim solitude, be creative, be resilient, be self-sufficient, and reflect after watching this wholesome and helpful video. I psychologically understood my feelings to rest and boost myself without my friends who are backstabbing, pressuring, and making me feel bad. I only need development and love for myself to strive and thrive for achievements, success, and objectives, such as my school. From now on, I don't need friends who give me toxic vibes or negativity; I only need myself to aid, to learn, to grow, to nurture, and to be wise. I appreciate this opportunity, Psych2go! Thank you for making me realize it!
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This helped me a lot, Psych2go! It made me realize that solitude creates starting over, creativity, resilience, self-sufficiency, and self-reflection. Despite the issues that I created or was involved in, my mom told me that I don't need friends if I have a negative attitude. So, it sparked my mind that I have to be independent, claim solitude, be creative, be resilient, be self-sufficient, and reflect after watching this wholesome and helpful video. I psychologically understood my feelings to rest and boost myself without my friends who are backstabbing, pressuring, and making me feel bad. I only need development and love for myself to strive and thrive for achievements, success, and objectives, such as my school. From now on, I don't need friends who give me toxic vibes or negativity; I only need myself to aid, to learn, to grow, to nurture, and to be wise. I appreciate this opportunity, Psych2go! Thank you for making me realize it!
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KayleeSellers-o9k
Ugh, this video is so calling me out. Which is a good thing. But right at the moment I don't have any friends. I do in other states, but it is hard to connect with them when you are not by them. Ever since I was really little I didn’t have friends, and the times I did they were really toxic or I got very attached and clingy to them because I felt so lonley and scared I going to lose them like everyone else. In doing so, this is exactly what happened since I refused to let go. Now I am back to where I started with no friends because I used to live in the state with my friends and I moved back to where I was before. And it has been so hard. I have gained many skills because of it, like creativity and stuff, but really, since I have dealt with it my whole life, it just hurts. Its like I dirty chalkboard I had, then I flipped it to something new, made it amazing, until all the sudden the other side just slammed me in the face.
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Ugh, this video is so calling me out. Which is a good thing. But right at the moment I don't have any friends. I do in other states, but it is hard to connect with them when you are not by them. Ever since I was really little I didn’t have friends, and the times I did they were really toxic or I got very attached and clingy to them because I felt so lonley and scared I going to lose them like everyone else. In doing so, this is exactly what happened since I refused to let go. Now I am back to where I started with no friends because I used to live in the state with my friends and I moved back to where I was before. And it has been so hard. I have gained many skills because of it, like creativity and stuff, but really, since I have dealt with it my whole life, it just hurts. Its like I dirty chalkboard I had, then I flipped it to something new, made it amazing, until all the sudden the other side just slammed me in the face.
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Кто-то621
While I may agree with this points, I think you miss out a few things. Sure, I do have noticed that I became more creative (even too much) when I’ve lost most of my friendships, but the truth is, without freinds you don’t have someone to share things with, to show your creativity. You may say that social media is the solution, but, trust me, making something personal for someone you know and like gives way more satisfaction than for obscure figures of the internet, but maybe it’s just how I am. Besides, internet will always have its freaks and trolls.
As for self reflection, I guess it’s different from one to another, as my experience was that it started really well because I finally felt freedom from judgement of others, but as years go by, feeling of loneliness slowly becoming more powerful and I’ve started to think more about my past (it wasn’t that good, my weaknesses and my personality.
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While I may agree with this points, I think you miss out a few things. Sure, I do have noticed that I became more creative (even too much) when I’ve lost most of my friendships, but the truth is, without freinds you don’t have someone to share things with, to show your creativity. You may say that social media is the solution, but, trust me, making something personal for someone you know and like gives way more satisfaction than for obscure figures of the internet, but maybe it’s just how I am. Besides, internet will always have its freaks and trolls.
As for self reflection, I guess it’s different from one to another, as my experience was that it started really well because I finally felt freedom from judgement of others, but as years go by, feeling of loneliness slowly becoming more powerful and I’ve started to think more about my past (it wasn’t that good, my weaknesses and my personality.
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psych2go
I have been working on myself by myself for 6 years and its not easy. I have trust issues and trauma from my father's side of the family telling me I will never be good enough. I applied for a job cleaning at a high school by the house trying to do it for insurance to go to therapy but I am terrified about what I find out. I am interested in a woman because I can finally let my guard down with her and not stuck putting walls up or stuck in survival mode. I want to be the best I can for her and hopefully find the man I can be proud of not fighting the urge to drink after quitting for 6 years. Today was a bad day with my depression I went to a grocery store and held a 18 pack of beer for an hour fighting the urge to buy. I need to be better but maybe therapy can help because by myself I feel like I am losing all my progress I made. What helped me all these years was anger and rage but i no longer have any left
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I have been working on myself by myself for 6 years and its not easy. I have trust issues and trauma from my father's side of the family telling me I will never be good enough. I applied for a job cleaning at a high school by the house trying to do it for insurance to go to therapy but I am terrified about what I find out. I am interested in a woman because I can finally let my guard down with her and not stuck putting walls up or stuck in survival mode. I want to be the best I can for her and hopefully find the man I can be proud of not fighting the urge to drink after quitting for 6 years. Today was a bad day with my depression I went to a grocery store and held a 18 pack of beer for an hour fighting the urge to buy. I need to be better but maybe therapy can help because by myself I feel like I am losing all my progress I made. What helped me all these years was anger and rage but i no longer have any left
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ZFosterZ
I’m happy being on my own.
I find most peace there.
Can’t say I’ve grown up having someone genuinely have my back.
Just wasn’t the case.
Sure people would involve me when it suited, but soon as we were round others they very quickly threw me under the bus.
Fair enough.
I saw them for who they were.
I’m ok with that.
People come and go.
Isn’t important to me.
There’s acquaintances I know.
We speak at work, but I wouldn’t ever invite them to my home, nor would I want to visit them at there’s.
I understand this and again accept them in their role.
We speak because we at in the same environment.
But I know they aren’t my friends.
They have their friends.
I’m happiest when by myself.
It’s simple and easy that way.
I can relax and enjoy the moment.
I’ve no interest in other people.
Just the way it is.
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I’m happy being on my own.
I find most peace there.
Can’t say I’ve grown up having someone genuinely have my back.
Just wasn’t the case.
Sure people would involve me when it suited, but soon as we were round others they very quickly threw me under the bus.
Fair enough.
I saw them for who they were.
I’m ok with that.
People come and go.
Isn’t important to me.
There’s acquaintances I know.
We speak at work, but I wouldn’t ever invite them to my home, nor would I want to visit them at there’s.
I understand this and again accept them in their role.
We speak because we at in the same environment.
But I know they aren’t my friends.
They have their friends.
I’m happiest when by myself.
It’s simple and easy that way.
I can relax and enjoy the moment.
I’ve no interest in other people.
Just the way it is.
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MLandriganReid
And what if you are creatively retarded because it was actively discouraged because having interests as a child meant having to spend money on the child which my parents certainly didn't want to do if they could avoid it.
What if you are tired of being alone in solitude but the reality is people generally prefer the company of pretty faces rather than people of substance.
What if there is no other support because you have unreliable family, can't afford therapy (monetarily or time wise, have never been in a relationship because in a country like Australia, Beauty is the only thing that is valued and because you couldn't get a foot in the door in your youth, people won't give you a chance later in life and you can't have pets in your apartment because you rent (and live alone in any case so sorting things out for inspections is tricky unless you have something like a fish)
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And what if you are creatively retarded because it was actively discouraged because having interests as a child meant having to spend money on the child which my parents certainly didn't want to do if they could avoid it.
What if you are tired of being alone in solitude but the reality is people generally prefer the company of pretty faces rather than people of substance.
What if there is no other support because you have unreliable family, can't afford therapy (monetarily or time wise, have never been in a relationship because in a country like Australia, Beauty is the only thing that is valued and because you couldn't get a foot in the door in your youth, people won't give you a chance later in life and you can't have pets in your apartment because you rent (and live alone in any case so sorting things out for inspections is tricky unless you have something like a fish)
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thenotorioustns
8 yrs ago I had a heart attack, My pops died 7 yrs ago, and I really didn't care for friends after. Mom got stage 4 breast cancer about 2 yrs ago and I grew more detached, recently an accident in a crosswalk made my left hand unusable and I have now totally stopped contact with old friends. I am making myself better because I have to, maybe my hand will get better and heal but for now I have no energy for others. Thankful for my stepdad and the doctors who see my mom, it ain't easy but something is being done versus nothing. I don't have friends or family except mom, cuz I cut them off on my dad's side and her's. I feel like when I asked for help they were trash to me and always part of a narcissistic family dynamic, so I keep my life to myself. i feel a little bad about my 2 best friends, but they have families of their own and many friends. I can't afford friends.
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8 yrs ago I had a heart attack, My pops died 7 yrs ago, and I really didn't care for friends after. Mom got stage 4 breast cancer about 2 yrs ago and I grew more detached, recently an accident in a crosswalk made my left hand unusable and I have now totally stopped contact with old friends. I am making myself better because I have to, maybe my hand will get better and heal but for now I have no energy for others. Thankful for my stepdad and the doctors who see my mom, it ain't easy but something is being done versus nothing. I don't have friends or family except mom, cuz I cut them off on my dad's side and her's. I feel like when I asked for help they were trash to me and always part of a narcissistic family dynamic, so I keep my life to myself. i feel a little bad about my 2 best friends, but they have families of their own and many friends. I can't afford friends.
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Кто-то621
While I may agree with points you made, I think you miss out few important things.
Sure, my creativity may have drastically improved since I’ve lost most of my friendships, the truth is, this way you don’t have someone to share creativity with. You may say that social media is the solution, but, trust me, making something for person you know and like gives way more satisfaction than for obscure figures of the internet. Besides, social media has its own quirks.
As for exploring yourself, I guess it differs from one to another, as my personal experience was like this: It started really well as I felt freedom from judgement, but then started to slowly decrease over the past 4 years as feeling of loneliness slowly have started to overpower. I’ve started to think way more about my past, my feelings, my weaknesses, and not in a good way.
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While I may agree with points you made, I think you miss out few important things.
Sure, my creativity may have drastically improved since I’ve lost most of my friendships, the truth is, this way you don’t have someone to share creativity with. You may say that social media is the solution, but, trust me, making something for person you know and like gives way more satisfaction than for obscure figures of the internet. Besides, social media has its own quirks.
As for exploring yourself, I guess it differs from one to another, as my personal experience was like this: It started really well as I felt freedom from judgement, but then started to slowly decrease over the past 4 years as feeling of loneliness slowly have started to overpower. I’ve started to think way more about my past, my feelings, my weaknesses, and not in a good way.
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Luis-r6l7u
As a current teenager, I can confirm that I used to struggle with bad company when I started high school and after nearly two years I decided to finally let go of that group and I've noticed a huge change in my self esteem and social skills in general, don't get me wrong I still get pretty anxious around certain people but I feel like it's gotten a lot better for me so this is just me telling you that it's okay to let go of certain people especially if you don't feel comfortable with them or they don't share your morals and values because I never felt visible in that group, I was always the shy and quiet kid, didn't even say a word, but now I feel a better change in my well being so if I can do it then you can do it too because being alone is way better than bad company brother or sister.
Thanks for listening to my rant
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As a current teenager, I can confirm that I used to struggle with bad company when I started high school and after nearly two years I decided to finally let go of that group and I've noticed a huge change in my self esteem and social skills in general, don't get me wrong I still get pretty anxious around certain people but I feel like it's gotten a lot better for me so this is just me telling you that it's okay to let go of certain people especially if you don't feel comfortable with them or they don't share your morals and values because I never felt visible in that group, I was always the shy and quiet kid, didn't even say a word, but now I feel a better change in my well being so if I can do it then you can do it too because being alone is way better than bad company brother or sister.
Thanks for listening to my rant
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psych2go
It’s interesting I wonder how many of these ppl who say they’re happier being alone are actually telling the truth or compensating for the pain of having no true friends, it makes me genuinely curious to see bc most of these comments are saying things like that and it’s kinda sad ngl. There are always going to be genuine people and there are some that aren’t for their own reasons but that doesn’t mean that you close your heart and trust and generalize that everyone is fake or going to let you down, people tend to forget that in order to truly know someone you have to get hurt a couple times to break their walls they’ve built up for themselves and everyone has their own reasons for having their walls it just takes patience and compassion which I feel we all crave somebody to actually do for us
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It’s interesting I wonder how many of these ppl who say they’re happier being alone are actually telling the truth or compensating for the pain of having no true friends, it makes me genuinely curious to see bc most of these comments are saying things like that and it’s kinda sad ngl. There are always going to be genuine people and there are some that aren’t for their own reasons but that doesn’t mean that you close your heart and trust and generalize that everyone is fake or going to let you down, people tend to forget that in order to truly know someone you have to get hurt a couple times to break their walls they’ve built up for themselves and everyone has their own reasons for having their walls it just takes patience and compassion which I feel we all crave somebody to actually do for us
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psych2go
Okay so actually, this is actually pretty accurate in my experience. I joined a program called JobCorps and I spent one month in a class called career and personal planning. I was madly depressed and I also was given my own dorm room. In the time that I was alone in my dorm, which was pretty much all the time out of school hours, I have learned a lot about myself, and I have also learned to pull my head out of my ass and be nicer. On top of that, I like math a lot more now. I used to despise it, but the quiet of my dorm helped me think of something my science teacher once told me. You hate math because you love it in my opinion, he should reword it saying You hate math because something happened and you gave up when you used to love it.
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Okay so actually, this is actually pretty accurate in my experience. I joined a program called JobCorps and I spent one month in a class called career and personal planning. I was madly depressed and I also was given my own dorm room. In the time that I was alone in my dorm, which was pretty much all the time out of school hours, I have learned a lot about myself, and I have also learned to pull my head out of my ass and be nicer. On top of that, I like math a lot more now. I used to despise it, but the quiet of my dorm helped me think of something my science teacher once told me. You hate math because you love it in my opinion, he should reword it saying You hate math because something happened and you gave up when you used to love it.
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MareaRayneOleander
I feel like this way of looking at things can be dangerous for extroverts who need friends to feel fulfilled. They could become obsessed with making it on their own and end up in such deep burnout that they just can't bear to live anymore. That becomes doubly true for extroverts who are aro-ace, have abusive families, or are too poor to afford therapy. I also don't think mental health professionals should be included in the list of support systems because that relationship is not reciprocal. And those people who don't want to be there for you in the same way you were for them are not friends.
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I feel like this way of looking at things can be dangerous for extroverts who need friends to feel fulfilled. They could become obsessed with making it on their own and end up in such deep burnout that they just can't bear to live anymore. That becomes doubly true for extroverts who are aro-ace, have abusive families, or are too poor to afford therapy. I also don't think mental health professionals should be included in the list of support systems because that relationship is not reciprocal. And those people who don't want to be there for you in the same way you were for them are not friends.
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psych2go
It's rather devastating always being the one reaching out, and not even receive a no in response. I reached out to a coworker and he responded to everything but my question about grabbing a burger after work, not even a sorry, today doesn't work for me or any countersuggestions, just ear-splitting silence. All my older friends have kids and wives, and I obviously understand that they can't hang out every other day like we used to, but months and months go by between each time I see them. I guess this is the only way these days, find a spouse, have kids and if you're lucky hang out with other couples.
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It's rather devastating always being the one reaching out, and not even receive a no in response. I reached out to a coworker and he responded to everything but my question about grabbing a burger after work, not even a sorry, today doesn't work for me or any countersuggestions, just ear-splitting silence. All my older friends have kids and wives, and I obviously understand that they can't hang out every other day like we used to, but months and months go by between each time I see them. I guess this is the only way these days, find a spouse, have kids and if you're lucky hang out with other couples.
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Mightymoxie
I’ve kinda given up. I used to put in all the effort of reaching out and being interested in other people tried my best to do it, only for it to not be reciprocated. If people don’t reach out to me, I just take that as their interest level. It’s just my misfortune to not have anyone express interest.
It has made me the perfect little consumer for a capitalist society - need to move I have to find movers, no one around to help me. Need a tool to repair something No one to borrow it from, I have to buy it for one use. No support system Buy something, in essence.
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I’ve kinda given up. I used to put in all the effort of reaching out and being interested in other people tried my best to do it, only for it to not be reciprocated. If people don’t reach out to me, I just take that as their interest level. It’s just my misfortune to not have anyone express interest.
It has made me the perfect little consumer for a capitalist society - need to move I have to find movers, no one around to help me. Need a tool to repair something No one to borrow it from, I have to buy it for one use. No support system Buy something, in essence.
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Lennie2. 0
I know there's a big difference between being lonely and being alone but don't like being alone because it makes me feel lonely unless i choose to be alone. I already feel lonely in social settings, hoping from one friend group to another. I've been nothing but nice but still, my friendships never last or they crash and burn. people lose interest and only text me when they need something. But then i think, what if I'm faking it and am making all of this up because i want attention and am actually pushing people away to make it seem like nobody cares
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I know there's a big difference between being lonely and being alone but don't like being alone because it makes me feel lonely unless i choose to be alone. I already feel lonely in social settings, hoping from one friend group to another. I've been nothing but nice but still, my friendships never last or they crash and burn. people lose interest and only text me when they need something. But then i think, what if I'm faking it and am making all of this up because i want attention and am actually pushing people away to make it seem like nobody cares
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kbhavana12
This is the same problem I'm going through in my life at present
I was always afraid of being alone in school, college.
I was with so called friends, I was part of those groups. I always put effort in friendships, gave emotional support and been there when they need. When I need none were there to check on me.
When I chose different career path from them and focusing on mine none came along but by the time of results they called me and now I just ignored bcz my priorities changed and I don't want to read those chapters again.
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This is the same problem I'm going through in my life at present
I was always afraid of being alone in school, college.
I was with so called friends, I was part of those groups. I always put effort in friendships, gave emotional support and been there when they need. When I need none were there to check on me.
When I chose different career path from them and focusing on mine none came along but by the time of results they called me and now I just ignored bcz my priorities changed and I don't want to read those chapters again.
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MichaelF-cc8ri
My oversimplified answer is. I'm not perfect, nor am I a moral arbiter, I've genuinely tried, and people are mainly either apathetic, selfish. I'm done with feeling like I'm the only one fighting for the friendship. And my basic decency, being met with suspicion or contempt. People will unironically say on anti social media, that they have no friends, while ignoring the human beings in front of them.
PS - I've even written a letter about topics like, having no friends. I call it, polite society on polite indifference.
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My oversimplified answer is. I'm not perfect, nor am I a moral arbiter, I've genuinely tried, and people are mainly either apathetic, selfish. I'm done with feeling like I'm the only one fighting for the friendship. And my basic decency, being met with suspicion or contempt. People will unironically say on anti social media, that they have no friends, while ignoring the human beings in front of them.
PS - I've even written a letter about topics like, having no friends. I call it, polite society on polite indifference.
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lef2617
Since my last few years in school, I've only really had my best friend, we know each other since we were babies. Every other friendship tends to break off once the other person gets bored with me. Every efford I make to keep the friendship alive is useless. I'm used to the pattern by now, people choosing me as their friend and leaving once they find better ones. I've stopped wasting energy on people like this and am generally fine, even if I sometimes wish I'd knew enough people so I can have a gaming or board game night.
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Since my last few years in school, I've only really had my best friend, we know each other since we were babies. Every other friendship tends to break off once the other person gets bored with me. Every efford I make to keep the friendship alive is useless. I'm used to the pattern by now, people choosing me as their friend and leaving once they find better ones. I've stopped wasting energy on people like this and am generally fine, even if I sometimes wish I'd knew enough people so I can have a gaming or board game night.
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