Ranking walking simulators by how good the walking is
video description
Date: 2023-12-10
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 22
-celebrim1
Walking simulator is still a term of derision. I can't tell from your parody whether or not you actually realize that.
Also, it's not that the game lacks shooting that makes it a walking simulator. What makes a game a walking simulator is that it lacks meaningful challenge. For example, there is no shooting in 'Grim Fandango' and the only combat in the game is a scripted episode that you can't possibly lose. But because the game features complex problem solving that the player is required to perform in order to advance the story as it's core gameplay and not merely the act of travelling from point A to point B as it's core gameplay, it's not a walking simulator. It is in fact not only probably the finest adventure game ever made but one of the greatest video games ever made.
The trouble with a walking simulator is that they are incredibly lazy. The secondary trouble with them is that they eshew all aesthetic goals of play except for the sensual which leaves them not only really narrow in their appeal, but also opens up the problem that Skyrim (just as one example) is hands down better as a sensual walking simulator than any walking simulator ever made.
Creators of walking simulators tend to claim that they are making narrative games where the aesthetic of play is story, but the problem with that is that it just proves that the creators of walking simulators do not understand the narrative aesthetic of play at all. For a game to have a narrative aesthetic of play, the game has to feel like the players is in some fashion meaningfully contributing to the story and that in some sense this version of the story that is playing out is unique to them. But walking simulators invariably make the player mere witness to the story, something that is happening to them. (And that's generous. Usually they aren't even stories that happen to the character. They are usually discovering some story that happened to some other character, which makes them even less of a simulator and more of a jumbled epistolary short story) This isn't in and of itself bad, but it is bad if participating in the story was the sole aesthetic of play that you were relying on to make your game actually have play and be game and not merely the equivalent of a simulation of walking through an art gallery that may or may not be of questionable quality.
Generally speaking, walking simulators produce terrible stories. Indeed, I'd go so far as to say that they produce non-stories. The typical walking simulator involves a character who is for some reason clueless about a situation walking about and either recovering memories or discovering that the situation that they remember wasn't actually what transpired. Invariably, there isn't much of a plot here, character growth, or anything else that makes up an actual story, but there is a lot of the author telling and not showing in some self-important manner like a film that wears its theme on its sleeve in a desperate bid to be relevant in the awards season. -See me. I'm important! -, is about all the story they have, and the overall tone is always that of some 15 year old's self-indulgent angst fan fiction where they flop onto couches and bemoan -Death and the meaningless of life! - If you consider that art, you're probably not older than 23, unmarried, and short on both life and literary experience.
reply
Walking simulator is still a term of derision. I can't tell from your parody whether or not you actually realize that.
Also, it's not that the game lacks shooting that makes it a walking simulator. What makes a game a walking simulator is that it lacks meaningful challenge. For example, there is no shooting in 'Grim Fandango' and the only combat in the game is a scripted episode that you can't possibly lose. But because the game features complex problem solving that the player is required to perform in order to advance the story as it's core gameplay and not merely the act of travelling from point A to point B as it's core gameplay, it's not a walking simulator. It is in fact not only probably the finest adventure game ever made but one of the greatest video games ever made.
The trouble with a walking simulator is that they are incredibly lazy. The secondary trouble with them is that they eshew all aesthetic goals of play except for the sensual which leaves them not only really narrow in their appeal, but also opens up the problem that Skyrim (just as one example) is hands down better as a sensual walking simulator than any walking simulator ever made.
Creators of walking simulators tend to claim that they are making narrative games where the aesthetic of play is story, but the problem with that is that it just proves that the creators of walking simulators do not understand the narrative aesthetic of play at all. For a game to have a narrative aesthetic of play, the game has to feel like the players is in some fashion meaningfully contributing to the story and that in some sense this version of the story that is playing out is unique to them. But walking simulators invariably make the player mere witness to the story, something that is happening to them. (And that's generous. Usually they aren't even stories that happen to the character. They are usually discovering some story that happened to some other character, which makes them even less of a simulator and more of a jumbled epistolary short story) This isn't in and of itself bad, but it is bad if participating in the story was the sole aesthetic of play that you were relying on to make your game actually have play and be game and not merely the equivalent of a simulation of walking through an art gallery that may or may not be of questionable quality.
Generally speaking, walking simulators produce terrible stories. Indeed, I'd go so far as to say that they produce non-stories. The typical walking simulator involves a character who is for some reason clueless about a situation walking about and either recovering memories or discovering that the situation that they remember wasn't actually what transpired. Invariably, there isn't much of a plot here, character growth, or anything else that makes up an actual story, but there is a lot of the author telling and not showing in some self-important manner like a film that wears its theme on its sleeve in a desperate bid to be relevant in the awards season. -See me. I'm important! -, is about all the story they have, and the overall tone is always that of some 15 year old's self-indulgent angst fan fiction where they flop onto couches and bemoan -Death and the meaningless of life! - If you consider that art, you're probably not older than 23, unmarried, and short on both life and literary experience.
reply
-RamadaArtist
I love that the verdict of Death Stranding is, -not actually a walking simulator, but had the best simulated walking, - which is just profoundly appropriate to all the pre release hatred the game was getting from people who thought Kojima would actually make a game without ridiculous action sequences. Like, even Snatcher, which is basically a text adventure, had a shooting sequence in it.
reply
I love that the verdict of Death Stranding is, -not actually a walking simulator, but had the best simulated walking, - which is just profoundly appropriate to all the pre release hatred the game was getting from people who thought Kojima would actually make a game without ridiculous action sequences. Like, even Snatcher, which is basically a text adventure, had a shooting sequence in it.
reply
-0LoneTech
Firstly, it's clearly unfair to dock Firewatch so many points for the jogging option, that is so much closer to walking than the far more common option of sprinting. Secondly, if you really want a simulator, you should not look to canned animations like those AAA games. Look instead to physics based simulations like QWOP or Octodad.
reply
Firstly, it's clearly unfair to dock Firewatch so many points for the jogging option, that is so much closer to walking than the far more common option of sprinting. Secondly, if you really want a simulator, you should not look to canned animations like those AAA games. Look instead to physics based simulations like QWOP or Octodad.
reply
-codymorley480
I ducking hate the way any time there-s a complaint about a genre polygon downplays it or twists it into something that-s not the actual criticism.
Walking simulator as derision comes not from the inability to -shoot guns- it comes from the inability to do do ANYTHING but travel for long stretches of the game.
reply
I ducking hate the way any time there-s a complaint about a genre polygon downplays it or twists it into something that-s not the actual criticism.
Walking simulator as derision comes not from the inability to -shoot guns- it comes from the inability to do do ANYTHING but travel for long stretches of the game.
reply
-alecr117
walking speed is totally based on how tall you are (specifically your legs, your stride, and how you pace your steps. My walking speed is 5-6, being able to easily always have one foot planted at all times. I'm also 6'5 and my stride is large. also these arent legit walking sims vid is 1/10
reply
walking speed is totally based on how tall you are (specifically your legs, your stride, and how you pace your steps. My walking speed is 5-6, being able to easily always have one foot planted at all times. I'm also 6'5 and my stride is large. also these arent legit walking sims vid is 1/10
reply
-octo_contra
2 seconds in I was insulted by the lack of death stranding in the logo splash
but brian gilbert as a walking model made up for it quickly
and then when jogging basically disqualified Firewatch everything made sense and I was entirely on board, let's go Clayton
reply
2 seconds in I was insulted by the lack of death stranding in the logo splash
but brian gilbert as a walking model made up for it quickly
and then when jogging basically disqualified Firewatch everything made sense and I was entirely on board, let's go Clayton
reply
-Zoznerol
Am I the only one that felt like this was an Unraveled episode hosted by someone else? There was something uncanny and unpleasant about the whole thing, like they changed actors in the middle of a series and acted like nothing is any different.
reply
Am I the only one that felt like this was an Unraveled episode hosted by someone else? There was something uncanny and unpleasant about the whole thing, like they changed actors in the middle of a series and acted like nothing is any different.
reply
-Cscope1717
Listen the polygon video team are real people and I don't know any of them but why do I get the feeling there was a conversation about who would be willing to walk in silly ways in public and Brian was the clear winner
reply
Listen the polygon video team are real people and I don't know any of them but why do I get the feeling there was a conversation about who would be willing to walk in silly ways in public and Brian was the clear winner
reply
-gnat685
-I managed to approximate the size of the letter to judge the size of the floorboards- is the most polygon sentence I've ever heard (and it reminds me of Julia from Drawfee)
reply
-I managed to approximate the size of the letter to judge the size of the floorboards- is the most polygon sentence I've ever heard (and it reminds me of Julia from Drawfee)
reply
-Omnicide101
I love how Clayton sounds super serious and has an amazing documentary style voice. but then he hits me with -I need to spoiler warning Edith's feet. -
A+.
reply
I love how Clayton sounds super serious and has an amazing documentary style voice. but then he hits me with -I need to spoiler warning Edith's feet. -
A+.
reply
-ashopal5811
Me: Poly-mom, can I get a new Unraveled?
Polygon: We have Unraveled at home.
Unraveled at home:
Me: Aw hell yeah, Clayton brand. Thanks mom.
reply
Me: Poly-mom, can I get a new Unraveled?
Polygon: We have Unraveled at home.
Unraveled at home:
Me: Aw hell yeah, Clayton brand. Thanks mom.
reply
-emmak4938
My university lecturers need to take notes on this video. Some how I am completely interested in walking simulators and not their lectures.
reply
My university lecturers need to take notes on this video. Some how I am completely interested in walking simulators and not their lectures.
reply
-tobistein6639
Was -walking simulator- coined by TotalBiscuit? I remember him talking about it on the TGS podcast a million years ago. (RIP)
reply
Was -walking simulator- coined by TotalBiscuit? I remember him talking about it on the TGS podcast a million years ago. (RIP)
reply
-ferghalicious1480
I legitimately thought this video was titled -Ranking wanking simulators by how good the wanking is- at first glance.
reply
I legitimately thought this video was titled -Ranking wanking simulators by how good the wanking is- at first glance.
reply
-phiter
Clayton arrives at Polygon: I need to record someone walking for a new video.
BDG: ME! ME! PICK ME! YES I CAN WALK, PICK ME!
reply
Clayton arrives at Polygon: I need to record someone walking for a new video.
BDG: ME! ME! PICK ME! YES I CAN WALK, PICK ME!
reply
-cymonin5549
You bet that in PUBG, they almost reach the perfect high score.
(First thing that came to mind when I saw the title)
reply
You bet that in PUBG, they almost reach the perfect high score.
(First thing that came to mind when I saw the title)
reply
-dave532
the fact that i got a commercial when he says -this game makes it exceptionally easy to walk to the bottom of the ocean-
reply
the fact that i got a commercial when he says -this game makes it exceptionally easy to walk to the bottom of the ocean-
reply
-Nerdanel
My question is, why was Brian in Dublin for his walking demonstrations? (As seen most clearly around the 2: 00 mark)
reply
My question is, why was Brian in Dublin for his walking demonstrations? (As seen most clearly around the 2: 00 mark)
reply
polygon
The trail is a great game but it got way too boring after like 20 hours when it is supposed to be a much longer game
reply
The trail is a great game but it got way too boring after like 20 hours when it is supposed to be a much longer game
reply
-lolacool98
I am incredibly disappointed that QWOP, the original walking simulator, was not even mentioned in this video
reply
I am incredibly disappointed that QWOP, the original walking simulator, was not even mentioned in this video
reply
polygon
Dude the spoiler thing here was probably the best usage of it I've ever seen or well in this case, not seen.
reply
Dude the spoiler thing here was probably the best usage of it I've ever seen or well in this case, not seen.
reply
-LOCKEYJ
Why did you get particular about -U. K. standard sizes- for egttr and use us door sizes for dear Esther
reply
Why did you get particular about -U. K. standard sizes- for egttr and use us door sizes for dear Esther
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
