What Is Gaslighting in Relationships?
video description
It really depressing to hear someone has a college degree in the, United States of America, but can't even get the job that they went to school for or even a job at a fast food joint, which doesnt even allow you to afford average living standards at life or worse working excessive amount of hours, which allows no time to be able to be spent with friends and family or youself. I think they call it monopolizing like the board game, or control freaks. I always hated that game too as it would never stop. And the person who owns everything is almost like a tyrant and isn't aware of what the average or underlooked person has to go through. I know nowadays cool people don't like simps. But really you should show some sympathy for others of all kinds and maybe if you feel even greater empathy for those of a different kind.
However though I don't think said persons actually understand what it like when explained and showed and I guess thats the difference between sympathy and empathy. I've read diary of anne frank in school, but living that life is two different worlds that I can not even fathom what it like to go through that for so long. And I wouldnt want to.
Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
Miss
No contact with my mom; had to ask myself if it's even worth trying to hold onto someone who 1. Has no respect for my boundaries 2. Gossips about me to everyone 3. Would get over me in a minute for some new boyfriend or situation in her life. I felt mentally messed up for holding onto, chasing, & constantly trying to prove myself to my mother since childhood. It's still hard every now & then because I feel guilty because it's my mom. I've blocked her on phone & email & recently sent her Christmas gifts back because I know she plays this game everytime where she gets her foot in the door & I'm not wise enough to realize once I've stepped into her trap. Even if I don't get heated on the phone & retain my composure, from trying to once again explain the definition of boundaries, I get off the phone so stressed I can feel exhaustion throughout all my muscles. Lately learned I have high functioning anxiety & a bit of neuroticysm. I clench my jaw, & try to remain in control, but inside I'm fighting my own battles & I want to do better in self regulation before I have my baby (Pregnant. I want to be the best mother I can be so I learn & try to be honest with myself. Communication so often with my husband. And I just know after alllll this reflection that I can not tolerate my mother behavior in my life. I don't owe anything to her. I don't have to try & be strong to endure her & I won't ever allow my children to EVER see that behavior. Seeing videos like this one is so affirming & helpful because it really puts everything into perspective.
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No contact with my mom; had to ask myself if it's even worth trying to hold onto someone who 1. Has no respect for my boundaries 2. Gossips about me to everyone 3. Would get over me in a minute for some new boyfriend or situation in her life. I felt mentally messed up for holding onto, chasing, & constantly trying to prove myself to my mother since childhood. It's still hard every now & then because I feel guilty because it's my mom. I've blocked her on phone & email & recently sent her Christmas gifts back because I know she plays this game everytime where she gets her foot in the door & I'm not wise enough to realize once I've stepped into her trap. Even if I don't get heated on the phone & retain my composure, from trying to once again explain the definition of boundaries, I get off the phone so stressed I can feel exhaustion throughout all my muscles. Lately learned I have high functioning anxiety & a bit of neuroticysm. I clench my jaw, & try to remain in control, but inside I'm fighting my own battles & I want to do better in self regulation before I have my baby (Pregnant. I want to be the best mother I can be so I learn & try to be honest with myself. Communication so often with my husband. And I just know after alllll this reflection that I can not tolerate my mother behavior in my life. I don't owe anything to her. I don't have to try & be strong to endure her & I won't ever allow my children to EVER see that behavior. Seeing videos like this one is so affirming & helpful because it really puts everything into perspective.
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Paul
Ok I have no practical familiarity with this term, but it seems so broad and encompasses to much that it dilutes it's meaning for me.
Without experience with the word itself, but lots of life experience, it seems that almost anyone can accuse almost anyone else close to them of gaslighting and whoever is best with words might have the ability to make the best surface case of actual gaslighting on one hand, or a concocted accusation on the other. (All regardless of whether actual psychological abuse is happening or not)
There's plenty of finger pointing, blaming others, and of course playing the victim which goes on all the time (and now it's celebrated - smh. Accusations are made that clearly have zero substance (various social issues, but they get traction if they fit the correct agenda.
This gaslighting thing seems to be much less clear than other wrongs which get thrown around willy nilly. I wouldn't bother researching this if I thought it was nothing, but my psychology rooted question is this: Is it not possible to be more specific?
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Ok I have no practical familiarity with this term, but it seems so broad and encompasses to much that it dilutes it's meaning for me.
Without experience with the word itself, but lots of life experience, it seems that almost anyone can accuse almost anyone else close to them of gaslighting and whoever is best with words might have the ability to make the best surface case of actual gaslighting on one hand, or a concocted accusation on the other. (All regardless of whether actual psychological abuse is happening or not)
There's plenty of finger pointing, blaming others, and of course playing the victim which goes on all the time (and now it's celebrated - smh. Accusations are made that clearly have zero substance (various social issues, but they get traction if they fit the correct agenda.
This gaslighting thing seems to be much less clear than other wrongs which get thrown around willy nilly. I wouldn't bother researching this if I thought it was nothing, but my psychology rooted question is this: Is it not possible to be more specific?
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ooi
Exactly, gutless arrogant man has all sorts of things to blame; she play hard to get, how can someone don't want money, I worry she will stab me with a scissors etc. All people want is for him to meet me to be a friend, for easy communication, show appreciation, that's all, it's that one thing he is not willing to do, so nobody waits for a stone to turn into water right? Despite telling him so many many times, but I do understand that petty people like him thinks that once he throw those money to my face, I will definitely see him differently, I think people need to hire really intelligent people to do important things. What is all these hanky panky dilly dally time wasting for no purpose thing deserve? I try to tell him I'm not into you and nothing I do is about you, doesn't mean he can't start doing it right, now, but he refuse to meet me to settle things, you know it's really amusing/hilarious to be exact, he really thought that after digging out all my past info he can process it, he really thought that he understands me.
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Exactly, gutless arrogant man has all sorts of things to blame; she play hard to get, how can someone don't want money, I worry she will stab me with a scissors etc. All people want is for him to meet me to be a friend, for easy communication, show appreciation, that's all, it's that one thing he is not willing to do, so nobody waits for a stone to turn into water right? Despite telling him so many many times, but I do understand that petty people like him thinks that once he throw those money to my face, I will definitely see him differently, I think people need to hire really intelligent people to do important things. What is all these hanky panky dilly dally time wasting for no purpose thing deserve? I try to tell him I'm not into you and nothing I do is about you, doesn't mean he can't start doing it right, now, but he refuse to meet me to settle things, you know it's really amusing/hilarious to be exact, he really thought that after digging out all my past info he can process it, he really thought that he understands me.
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Jaclyn
Was just gaslighted at wrk by boss. I asked him twice and asked what part of mouth to take an x-ray. He repeatedly said yes tooth 46 on the lower right, when it came time to take x-ray pt said no it's the left side. I went to my boss and said the pt says it's the left side. He said yes the 36, I said you told me the 46, he said no it's the left side 36. I was pissed off BC he is denying he is 46. The pt said yes he said 46. When I confronted an hour later BC I was so pissed I said moving forward I will ask you twice which tooth and write it down as to eliminate confusion not to mention it makes me look incompetent. He said sorry but I meant the left side this is so common. It really takes a toll. I feel unsettled being around ppl for this reason. I feel safe being alone. Too many times I'm left traumatized by this shit. Denying what they said to make u feel crazy, incompetent. It's so insidious and rarely do these types of ppl own up to it. This is why many ppl hate going to a job too BC of this psychological abuse.
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Was just gaslighted at wrk by boss. I asked him twice and asked what part of mouth to take an x-ray. He repeatedly said yes tooth 46 on the lower right, when it came time to take x-ray pt said no it's the left side. I went to my boss and said the pt says it's the left side. He said yes the 36, I said you told me the 46, he said no it's the left side 36. I was pissed off BC he is denying he is 46. The pt said yes he said 46. When I confronted an hour later BC I was so pissed I said moving forward I will ask you twice which tooth and write it down as to eliminate confusion not to mention it makes me look incompetent. He said sorry but I meant the left side this is so common. It really takes a toll. I feel unsettled being around ppl for this reason. I feel safe being alone. Too many times I'm left traumatized by this shit. Denying what they said to make u feel crazy, incompetent. It's so insidious and rarely do these types of ppl own up to it. This is why many ppl hate going to a job too BC of this psychological abuse.
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beckamax
What about someone who does most of these things but more subconsciously then intentionally? It is still a toxic way of functioning. But I think he learned this way to function from his parents as a child and continues to take responsibility but not really because it all comes back to me after he claims how responsible he is. But says he wouldn't get this mad if I didn't trigger him. Or how he grilled me four long nights in a row about the only solution to a problem before a big decision he was making me decide on. And then when I chose the decision he told me was the only logical way to go. He told me it broke him and he was raging at me for choosing this logical solution, I really didn't want. I told him I changed my mind and wanted to go the other way because that's where my heart has always been. He told me that he has not changed his mind and was moving forward with the original decision I chose. For me to take responsibility for my choices as they have consequences. Gaslighting? Thanks for the help.
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What about someone who does most of these things but more subconsciously then intentionally? It is still a toxic way of functioning. But I think he learned this way to function from his parents as a child and continues to take responsibility but not really because it all comes back to me after he claims how responsible he is. But says he wouldn't get this mad if I didn't trigger him. Or how he grilled me four long nights in a row about the only solution to a problem before a big decision he was making me decide on. And then when I chose the decision he told me was the only logical way to go. He told me it broke him and he was raging at me for choosing this logical solution, I really didn't want. I told him I changed my mind and wanted to go the other way because that's where my heart has always been. He told me that he has not changed his mind and was moving forward with the original decision I chose. For me to take responsibility for my choices as they have consequences. Gaslighting? Thanks for the help.
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HonorB
When gaslighting has reached completion, the result is insanity, murder, suicide, or a combination of those. Gaslighting absolutely IS a form of witchcraft. This is why witches were executed, and some states even had laws that allowed lethal force to defend yourself from witchcraft. You could legally kill someone who was using witchcraft on you. That law should still be enforced nationwide. My mother almost made me insane, and I almost killed her. I chose another way of stopping her, and I eventually defeated her, but almost 20 years of relentless witchcraft did profound damage to my life. I'm now 37, with the life accomplishments of about a 20 year old. Witchcraft is no joke, and a bullet can stop it in an instant. It should absolutely be legal to kill a witch that's trying to destroy you.
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When gaslighting has reached completion, the result is insanity, murder, suicide, or a combination of those. Gaslighting absolutely IS a form of witchcraft. This is why witches were executed, and some states even had laws that allowed lethal force to defend yourself from witchcraft. You could legally kill someone who was using witchcraft on you. That law should still be enforced nationwide. My mother almost made me insane, and I almost killed her. I chose another way of stopping her, and I eventually defeated her, but almost 20 years of relentless witchcraft did profound damage to my life. I'm now 37, with the life accomplishments of about a 20 year old. Witchcraft is no joke, and a bullet can stop it in an instant. It should absolutely be legal to kill a witch that's trying to destroy you.
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JBug
So I had this friend. We'll call him Mr. Right. One day, he texted me saying that everything was my fault and why we needed a break. He even called me a gaslighter. When I tried explaining myself, and tried apologizing, he kept calling me a gaslighter. But he had every right to explain, and defend himself. He made me feel like I was a horrible person for almost a month. Constantly crying, and wanting to disappear forever. Then one day, I realized that he was gaslighting and manipulating me the whole time. I'm glad that we're not friends anymore. But I still sad and angry for allowing him have that power over me. But I know now. And I will never be his friend again.
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So I had this friend. We'll call him Mr. Right. One day, he texted me saying that everything was my fault and why we needed a break. He even called me a gaslighter. When I tried explaining myself, and tried apologizing, he kept calling me a gaslighter. But he had every right to explain, and defend himself. He made me feel like I was a horrible person for almost a month. Constantly crying, and wanting to disappear forever. Then one day, I realized that he was gaslighting and manipulating me the whole time. I'm glad that we're not friends anymore. But I still sad and angry for allowing him have that power over me. But I know now. And I will never be his friend again.
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Paul
Even the basic distinction made between narcissism and gaslighting was very useful, maybe even essential for me to be able to identify what gaslighting is aside from the fuzziest idea.
Then when the idea of distancing was included, even better (clarity of understanding.
I realize I'm probably oversimplifying, but it seems that the ability to distance is key.
Once upon a time folks would say (and exemplify) live and let live. I suppose a gaslighter finds himself or herself unable to do that, and the victim is the one who isn't free to live without the gaslighter or at least finds it a serious struggle to break free.
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Even the basic distinction made between narcissism and gaslighting was very useful, maybe even essential for me to be able to identify what gaslighting is aside from the fuzziest idea.
Then when the idea of distancing was included, even better (clarity of understanding.
I realize I'm probably oversimplifying, but it seems that the ability to distance is key.
Once upon a time folks would say (and exemplify) live and let live. I suppose a gaslighter finds himself or herself unable to do that, and the victim is the one who isn't free to live without the gaslighter or at least finds it a serious struggle to break free.
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Mandi
I think that people just dont want to own up to their own shit so they have to blame others.
Ive always been the one problem solving and trying to understand things. I try to be fair and go back to the beginning of things and remember how I was treated.
Im not a puppet that anyone can control. I play my own guitar. This is the web I weave.
If someone is wrongfully controlling someone they need a new puppet master.
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I think that people just dont want to own up to their own shit so they have to blame others.
Ive always been the one problem solving and trying to understand things. I try to be fair and go back to the beginning of things and remember how I was treated.
Im not a puppet that anyone can control. I play my own guitar. This is the web I weave.
If someone is wrongfully controlling someone they need a new puppet master.
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WilczycaCzarownica
I think I was gaslighted, but I'm not sure about that. I liked the person I was, but peers from middle school start to bullied me. They called that I'm stinky, that I'm virgin and laught that I cried. They also give me feelings that I'm an evil person and I started to believe that what they said. I tried to be nice to them, but everytime they use it to humiliate me in from on every person in school.
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I think I was gaslighted, but I'm not sure about that. I liked the person I was, but peers from middle school start to bullied me. They called that I'm stinky, that I'm virgin and laught that I cried. They also give me feelings that I'm an evil person and I started to believe that what they said. I tried to be nice to them, but everytime they use it to humiliate me in from on every person in school.
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Leslie
When I asked him if we're okay he responds that we are I just want to know what's going on I'm worried about him he has recently lost his job a couple months back in our house has been flooded for the past four and a half months to 5 minutes I don't know if it's depression or what it is but I want to work through it I wish you would just talk to me what do I do I've been praying very hard
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When I asked him if we're okay he responds that we are I just want to know what's going on I'm worried about him he has recently lost his job a couple months back in our house has been flooded for the past four and a half months to 5 minutes I don't know if it's depression or what it is but I want to work through it I wish you would just talk to me what do I do I've been praying very hard
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Harry
Another word with same results is toxic. I have a sister in law who brainwashed my wife. My wife I later found out has the same bad habit. Fault finding and nagging keeps me depressed. I try to just ignore them for my kids. But enough is enough. Flight is best advice given even by my wifes aunt. No wonder divorce happens a lot in a marriage.
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Another word with same results is toxic. I have a sister in law who brainwashed my wife. My wife I later found out has the same bad habit. Fault finding and nagging keeps me depressed. I try to just ignore them for my kids. But enough is enough. Flight is best advice given even by my wifes aunt. No wonder divorce happens a lot in a marriage.
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Space
I am a Satanist and i do not waste love on those i do not know i make it up front when meeting people.
They may take offence but I do not like too many forms of human society.
I don't believe in hurting anyone but if you try to manipulate me I will not turn the other cheek I also don't believe this gaslighting crap.
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I am a Satanist and i do not waste love on those i do not know i make it up front when meeting people.
They may take offence but I do not like too many forms of human society.
I don't believe in hurting anyone but if you try to manipulate me I will not turn the other cheek I also don't believe this gaslighting crap.
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Leslie
He just asked me to marry him proposed on his knee in October in Ohio he took me to New York to meet his family and to Ohio to meet his daughter and his grandkids so why would he be gaslighting me know I don't understand we are supposed to be planning our wedding day but yet he's been pulling away
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He just asked me to marry him proposed on his knee in October in Ohio he took me to New York to meet his family and to Ohio to meet his daughter and his grandkids so why would he be gaslighting me know I don't understand we are supposed to be planning our wedding day but yet he's been pulling away
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Aku
Can you gaslight someone into believing they're gaslighting others?
The narrator said that gaslighting is predominantly negative.
Is there something that could be considered positive gaslighting?
No. None of this comment is meant as a joke. They are questions I truly want answered.
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Can you gaslight someone into believing they're gaslighting others?
The narrator said that gaslighting is predominantly negative.
Is there something that could be considered positive gaslighting?
No. None of this comment is meant as a joke. They are questions I truly want answered.
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El
Through my experiences and observations, I noticed most women are gaslighters. You know how they say you can never win an argument with a woman. It's because a love to gaslight. They are never wrong and make you feel like you are wrong even when you are 100% right. Gaslight=Woman
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Through my experiences and observations, I noticed most women are gaslighters. You know how they say you can never win an argument with a woman. It's because a love to gaslight. They are never wrong and make you feel like you are wrong even when you are 100% right. Gaslight=Woman
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Its
3: 42 why is there a satanic symbol? There trying to paint them as a victim even though lucifer is the worst gas lighter out there he constantly fills your mind with self doubt welts simultaneously giving you everything you want that is of this world even if it's bad for you.
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3: 42 why is there a satanic symbol? There trying to paint them as a victim even though lucifer is the worst gas lighter out there he constantly fills your mind with self doubt welts simultaneously giving you everything you want that is of this world even if it's bad for you.
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Miss
Say no when you don't wanna do something they want. If they're offended then that means they chose to be offended. It's not obligatory for you to accept what they asked of you. This may not apply for everyone, but it's what I learnt and it helped.
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Say no when you don't wanna do something they want. If they're offended then that means they chose to be offended. It's not obligatory for you to accept what they asked of you. This may not apply for everyone, but it's what I learnt and it helped.
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JWalker
My mother is the embodiment of this sadly. She went from severely physically abusive as a kid to mental. I'm constantly fighting off her manipulation. It's extremely difficult. When I feel it's kind of normal she pulls me back in some how.
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My mother is the embodiment of this sadly. She went from severely physically abusive as a kid to mental. I'm constantly fighting off her manipulation. It's extremely difficult. When I feel it's kind of normal she pulls me back in some how.
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Sandy
This is more about narcissistic behavior in general, not gaslighting specifically. Gaslighting is only one of the many symptoms of narcissistic behavior and it's defined as denying your reality. I'm really disappointed in this video.
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This is more about narcissistic behavior in general, not gaslighting specifically. Gaslighting is only one of the many symptoms of narcissistic behavior and it's defined as denying your reality. I'm really disappointed in this video.
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Loring
First they get married and call it moonlighting. Next they get divorced and call it Gaslighting! Finally everything is his fault and if they have children he has to pay child support! Who farted? Don't light that match! Boom!
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First they get married and call it moonlighting. Next they get divorced and call it Gaslighting! Finally everything is his fault and if they have children he has to pay child support! Who farted? Don't light that match! Boom!
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Krista
omg i know so many people who say nice things then use shit against u like holy crap ur a whole other person now
. honestly i think i do this some times and think that i am the problem
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omg i know so many people who say nice things then use shit against u like holy crap ur a whole other person now
. honestly i think i do this some times and think that i am the problem
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Mauricio
As soon as I stopped all communication with my gas lighting family I have been excelling in my life in everything. And I thought cutting them out would hold me back. Not true.
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As soon as I stopped all communication with my gas lighting family I have been excelling in my life in everything. And I thought cutting them out would hold me back. Not true.
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THE
My mom got me sent to jail through gaslighting what happened by telling the police something that shouldn't even got the police called on me for but the police believed her
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My mom got me sent to jail through gaslighting what happened by telling the police something that shouldn't even got the police called on me for but the police believed her
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