5 Types of Unhealthy Sibling Relationships
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
Meg
I think the bully one is so hard to even recognize. It's always oh, siblings fight all the time. It's normal.
Well it shouldn't be normal.
It's also very hard for the abused sibling(s) to get the help they need. The response I got was It's just a phase. We have to be patient and loving to her. She'll grow out of it eventually, you'll see. Fast forward 10 years later and here we still are. I think most people realize that bullying is a problem, but when they think of bullying, they picture the stereotypical school bully. It's such a different ballpark when it's your own sibling who knows everything about you and uses that to maliciously torment you and your family. We have to tiptoe around her like she's a bomb waiting to go off. When my older siblings visit from college, I think they've forgotten (to an extent) what living with her is like because they mention it more and act like they are noticing it more. It's a contrast from what their lives are now.
But me and my other siblings still have to deal with her in some way or another on daily basis. Whether it's the screaming match that inevitably explodes every 5 months or so from repressed resentment and other issues, or dealing with the silent treatment/alienation, or actively being picked on and criticized, my home is exhausting to be in most of the time. Over the years I've gone from being outspoken and furiously defending my self to now in my late teens being very depressed and withdrawn into myself. I just silently deal with it now. My parents are no help at all. They don't do much to correct or stop her behavior because she doesn't listen and we've all learned the hard way not to get on my sisters bad side. They definitely treat her differently. By that I mean more leniently. Unfortunately, there are countless ways to tick her off: disagreeing with her in any way, breaking one of her many unspoken (and often impossible to completely avoid) rules, and basically just displeasing her in any way.
Nothing we do is ever good enough for her. We're always wrong and can't do anything right. If we try to give her some space she throws a fit because we're excluding her. But when we try to include her (not that we want to, she's utterly miserable to be around) she goes on a rant about how we never leave her alone and she just wants some space.
She is a manipulative, narcissistic bully. She manipulates and abuses me emotionally and verbally. II can't wait for the day I can finally move out and hopefully start enjoying life because right now, I don't.
I don't have any close relationships and worry that I never will. I have severe imposter syndrome and am constantly paranoid that no one truly cares about me specifically our friends (we are similar in age and have the same friend group. She tells me they only pretend to be my friend just to be nice and wish they didn't have to because I'm loud, awkward, and very annoying (this is one of my biggest insecurities. I don't want to believe it but they do inexplicably favor her over me.
I don't really know how to deal with her anymore and I'm tired of doing so. I'm tired of doubting myself and being dismissed and invalidated by my parents. I can check all the boxes for depression and emotional trauma. There have been times were I was just so done. I wanted for it all to just end but I somehow managed to hang on.
I want to do something with my life instead of the meaningless life I currently lead. I'd like to go to school and be a veterinarian or maybe a teacher (I love animals and I've always been really good with kids) so I can do something really meaningful with my life. I don't want to be a victim anymore. I want to get out into the world and make a difference.
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I think the bully one is so hard to even recognize. It's always oh, siblings fight all the time. It's normal.
Well it shouldn't be normal.
It's also very hard for the abused sibling(s) to get the help they need. The response I got was It's just a phase. We have to be patient and loving to her. She'll grow out of it eventually, you'll see. Fast forward 10 years later and here we still are. I think most people realize that bullying is a problem, but when they think of bullying, they picture the stereotypical school bully. It's such a different ballpark when it's your own sibling who knows everything about you and uses that to maliciously torment you and your family. We have to tiptoe around her like she's a bomb waiting to go off. When my older siblings visit from college, I think they've forgotten (to an extent) what living with her is like because they mention it more and act like they are noticing it more. It's a contrast from what their lives are now.
But me and my other siblings still have to deal with her in some way or another on daily basis. Whether it's the screaming match that inevitably explodes every 5 months or so from repressed resentment and other issues, or dealing with the silent treatment/alienation, or actively being picked on and criticized, my home is exhausting to be in most of the time. Over the years I've gone from being outspoken and furiously defending my self to now in my late teens being very depressed and withdrawn into myself. I just silently deal with it now. My parents are no help at all. They don't do much to correct or stop her behavior because she doesn't listen and we've all learned the hard way not to get on my sisters bad side. They definitely treat her differently. By that I mean more leniently. Unfortunately, there are countless ways to tick her off: disagreeing with her in any way, breaking one of her many unspoken (and often impossible to completely avoid) rules, and basically just displeasing her in any way.
Nothing we do is ever good enough for her. We're always wrong and can't do anything right. If we try to give her some space she throws a fit because we're excluding her. But when we try to include her (not that we want to, she's utterly miserable to be around) she goes on a rant about how we never leave her alone and she just wants some space.
She is a manipulative, narcissistic bully. She manipulates and abuses me emotionally and verbally. II can't wait for the day I can finally move out and hopefully start enjoying life because right now, I don't.
I don't have any close relationships and worry that I never will. I have severe imposter syndrome and am constantly paranoid that no one truly cares about me specifically our friends (we are similar in age and have the same friend group. She tells me they only pretend to be my friend just to be nice and wish they didn't have to because I'm loud, awkward, and very annoying (this is one of my biggest insecurities. I don't want to believe it but they do inexplicably favor her over me.
I don't really know how to deal with her anymore and I'm tired of doing so. I'm tired of doubting myself and being dismissed and invalidated by my parents. I can check all the boxes for depression and emotional trauma. There have been times were I was just so done. I wanted for it all to just end but I somehow managed to hang on.
I want to do something with my life instead of the meaningless life I currently lead. I'd like to go to school and be a veterinarian or maybe a teacher (I love animals and I've always been really good with kids) so I can do something really meaningful with my life. I don't want to be a victim anymore. I want to get out into the world and make a difference.
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Dalyla
i have a strange and complex relationship with my older sister where i love her more than anything, have almost never known a time where i havent seen her as a hero or an unbending force of nature which i admire, these things tend to keep me close to her as she is both my sibling and honestly one of my closest friends, but often she belittles me and my feelings or needs. She'll tell me I'm too sensitive when she's hurt me, has almost never apologized for treating me badly, and usually relies on acting like nothing happened to mend whatever tension is left between us. and i have a hard time staying angry with her even tho i stay hurt. it's difficult for me to stand up for myself in general and while she has usually been the one to do so towards others for me thru our lives, if i dare try to stand up to her when i feel a boundary has been crossed, or like i am being treated unfairly, she finds a way to grind me down and make it out to be that im just lazy or dumb or incompetent or overly sensative. which i tend to internalize and eventually believe. she's not some horrible person, but she can be hurtful and cold, and at least seemingly unremorseful for being those things. its hard because i genuinely enjoy our relationship a lot of the time, but she has this knack for making me feel very small. i just don't know what to do. when i tell her these things she sort of just scoffs it off and tells me I'm dramatic or a sissy and that she has had to deal with much worse from many other in her live. which she has, she's had a difficult and unkind life, and i know that. but does that mean what she makes me feel should be disregarded? am i just too sensitive? often she will jokingly tell me the way she treats me builds character but really it feels like its slowly just breaking me down. After all, i would never dream of treating or speaking to her the ways she does me, i would never even want to. i just don't understand how she cant see that she's not only hurting me, but emotionally forcing me to keep that hurt bottled up inside me. i know she loves me, i just don't think its as much as ive always loved her. and it never will be. still i dont think i will ever have it in me to just cut her off, she is too much a part of who i am. i cant imagine a world for me where she wasnt there. i just dont want to feel small anymore either.
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i have a strange and complex relationship with my older sister where i love her more than anything, have almost never known a time where i havent seen her as a hero or an unbending force of nature which i admire, these things tend to keep me close to her as she is both my sibling and honestly one of my closest friends, but often she belittles me and my feelings or needs. She'll tell me I'm too sensitive when she's hurt me, has almost never apologized for treating me badly, and usually relies on acting like nothing happened to mend whatever tension is left between us. and i have a hard time staying angry with her even tho i stay hurt. it's difficult for me to stand up for myself in general and while she has usually been the one to do so towards others for me thru our lives, if i dare try to stand up to her when i feel a boundary has been crossed, or like i am being treated unfairly, she finds a way to grind me down and make it out to be that im just lazy or dumb or incompetent or overly sensative. which i tend to internalize and eventually believe. she's not some horrible person, but she can be hurtful and cold, and at least seemingly unremorseful for being those things. its hard because i genuinely enjoy our relationship a lot of the time, but she has this knack for making me feel very small. i just don't know what to do. when i tell her these things she sort of just scoffs it off and tells me I'm dramatic or a sissy and that she has had to deal with much worse from many other in her live. which she has, she's had a difficult and unkind life, and i know that. but does that mean what she makes me feel should be disregarded? am i just too sensitive? often she will jokingly tell me the way she treats me builds character but really it feels like its slowly just breaking me down. After all, i would never dream of treating or speaking to her the ways she does me, i would never even want to. i just don't understand how she cant see that she's not only hurting me, but emotionally forcing me to keep that hurt bottled up inside me. i know she loves me, i just don't think its as much as ive always loved her. and it never will be. still i dont think i will ever have it in me to just cut her off, she is too much a part of who i am. i cant imagine a world for me where she wasnt there. i just dont want to feel small anymore either.
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Idris
My brother is a NPC meaning. He is just a shadow in my life. I've never felt close to him. Never felt like we have any kind of brotherhood between us. We just exist under one roof eat sleep together. That's it. We never share our feelings and even though we common interest and passions he prefers to share them with his friends rather than me. And everytime I bring up a discussion about it it always ends in a fight he is immature and I think he doesn't give a thought to why we are the way we are. Honestly if he was a random person in college or something I would never see myself being friends with him. Both my parents have had past experiences with their siblings and they were never close too. They all love their separate lives now only meeting each other during family functions. I guess they never new how instill brotherhood or keep a check if we both are getting along well. And even my parents don't understand me. All I have is me. I confide in myself and I'm more than happy with. But it pains me sometimes seeing other brothers doing things together. Now it's too late to repair the damage. I guess I'm going to follow in the footsteps of my parents. I did try to get him to do some activities with me and try to get close but our dynamic is broken. He is just not on the same level as me. He doesn't even get hurt by the fact that we are not like other siblings. He just keeps his mouth shut and acts like a mannequin. He does not have any genuine emotion towards me. nor does he try to initiate a conversation or propose an activity we could do together. He is a total npc in my life. And btw Im older one of the two. It's not always the younger one being troubled by the older one. This is a kind of dynamic which I find to be very weird and strange.
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My brother is a NPC meaning. He is just a shadow in my life. I've never felt close to him. Never felt like we have any kind of brotherhood between us. We just exist under one roof eat sleep together. That's it. We never share our feelings and even though we common interest and passions he prefers to share them with his friends rather than me. And everytime I bring up a discussion about it it always ends in a fight he is immature and I think he doesn't give a thought to why we are the way we are. Honestly if he was a random person in college or something I would never see myself being friends with him. Both my parents have had past experiences with their siblings and they were never close too. They all love their separate lives now only meeting each other during family functions. I guess they never new how instill brotherhood or keep a check if we both are getting along well. And even my parents don't understand me. All I have is me. I confide in myself and I'm more than happy with. But it pains me sometimes seeing other brothers doing things together. Now it's too late to repair the damage. I guess I'm going to follow in the footsteps of my parents. I did try to get him to do some activities with me and try to get close but our dynamic is broken. He is just not on the same level as me. He doesn't even get hurt by the fact that we are not like other siblings. He just keeps his mouth shut and acts like a mannequin. He does not have any genuine emotion towards me. nor does he try to initiate a conversation or propose an activity we could do together. He is a total npc in my life. And btw Im older one of the two. It's not always the younger one being troubled by the older one. This is a kind of dynamic which I find to be very weird and strange.
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Tabasco
Hi everyone I need help, I have some really bad anger issues and it's my younger sister who's 1 and half year younger than me who makes me the most angry and annoyed, some times I go a little too far, I am 14 and half and she's 13, I regret what I do to her once I calm down but i am too awkward to apologize, I am worried this may effect our relationship in future or she may get anxiety or depression because of me i care for her I love her but i just can't control my anger and my sister is multi talented, she cooks she bakes she's extroverted she's funny and i am the exact opposite I tried to cook but i fails everytime then everyone makes fun of me so i just prefer not cooking anymore I can draw well but no one appreciate that because it's useless, so everyone compared her to me she can do this and that and you can't, she openly talks with everyone and you just stay silent like it started since we were 7-8 so growing up I've always been kind of jealous of her, I hated everytime she cooked or baked something i hated everytime someone complimented her cooking because in her compliments there was always me getting dragged Oh this cake was so delicious, good job. Learn something from your sister! . she's in 7th grade and you are in 9th she still do better stuff than you. I don't blame myself for treating my sister coldly. It's my relatives. Its not like I hate her I love her but it's just a wierd feeling idk how to explain, please help I don't want her to hate me for being a trashy sister.
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Hi everyone I need help, I have some really bad anger issues and it's my younger sister who's 1 and half year younger than me who makes me the most angry and annoyed, some times I go a little too far, I am 14 and half and she's 13, I regret what I do to her once I calm down but i am too awkward to apologize, I am worried this may effect our relationship in future or she may get anxiety or depression because of me i care for her I love her but i just can't control my anger and my sister is multi talented, she cooks she bakes she's extroverted she's funny and i am the exact opposite I tried to cook but i fails everytime then everyone makes fun of me so i just prefer not cooking anymore I can draw well but no one appreciate that because it's useless, so everyone compared her to me she can do this and that and you can't, she openly talks with everyone and you just stay silent like it started since we were 7-8 so growing up I've always been kind of jealous of her, I hated everytime she cooked or baked something i hated everytime someone complimented her cooking because in her compliments there was always me getting dragged Oh this cake was so delicious, good job. Learn something from your sister! . she's in 7th grade and you are in 9th she still do better stuff than you. I don't blame myself for treating my sister coldly. It's my relatives. Its not like I hate her I love her but it's just a wierd feeling idk how to explain, please help I don't want her to hate me for being a trashy sister.
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education
I have quite a bad relationship with my cousin (who lived with me for a long time and I see almost every day, we're practically siblings but from different parents)
She has ADHD, and whenever she does something to hurt me I just deal with it. I have for years, its the norm. I cant scold her, my parents and her parents will get hella mad because she has ADHD and that justifies her for making me feel inferior, not caring about me, forcing me into things, dragging me around, and screams and cries while expecting me to look out for her and know what to do even tough I am like 3 years younger and have less of an idea than her. I was okay with it, its too much now, recently its been becoming more and more and I cant keep it in anymore. I keep justifying it like oh no she has ADHD. I cant scold her but no. ADHD is a lot more complex, having ADHD doesnt make anyone a bad person and shouldn't be how people justify bad behaviour.
I need to learn how to try and confront her in ways which dont envolve me crying and running off to a bathroom and her stopping me saying WHY ARE YOU CRYING? I DID NOTHING WRONG. YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN A CRYBABY. STOP CRYING AND SUCK IT UP YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS
meh enough abt my rant nobodys gonna read this. just needed to say it somewhere that isn't on paper so my parents cant read.
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I have quite a bad relationship with my cousin (who lived with me for a long time and I see almost every day, we're practically siblings but from different parents)
She has ADHD, and whenever she does something to hurt me I just deal with it. I have for years, its the norm. I cant scold her, my parents and her parents will get hella mad because she has ADHD and that justifies her for making me feel inferior, not caring about me, forcing me into things, dragging me around, and screams and cries while expecting me to look out for her and know what to do even tough I am like 3 years younger and have less of an idea than her. I was okay with it, its too much now, recently its been becoming more and more and I cant keep it in anymore. I keep justifying it like oh no she has ADHD. I cant scold her but no. ADHD is a lot more complex, having ADHD doesnt make anyone a bad person and shouldn't be how people justify bad behaviour.
I need to learn how to try and confront her in ways which dont envolve me crying and running off to a bathroom and her stopping me saying WHY ARE YOU CRYING? I DID NOTHING WRONG. YOUVE ALWAYS BEEN A CRYBABY. STOP CRYING AND SUCK IT UP YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS
meh enough abt my rant nobodys gonna read this. just needed to say it somewhere that isn't on paper so my parents cant read.
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Akanksha
I really want to have a nice relation with my older brother. like it's not that bad but it's not very normal either. i mean sometimes we do talk about nice things have fun and all. but the 95% is just fighting and fighting and i don't like it. it somewhere makes me emotionally unstable. i've listened saying him so many times like she's not my sister etc etc which i know he said only when he was angry tho it still feels bad. like i feel maybe i'm not really a good little sister and i know i'm not because i was so childish. after going back to the home i guess i'm gonna try making it better by not getting offended easily and go out with him to eat. but i hope he will come because nowadays he has stopped asking because when in the past he used to ask that i was always like never it was never because of him it's because i'm a socially awkward person, and i don't like to go public places it just makes me anxious and remind me how i'm so unconfident and feel insecure about my body and clothing style. i mostly only go out with my parents. since i live away from home i think i gained some enough confidence. so i guess i'll be a more mature and fun little sister with him. yeah
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I really want to have a nice relation with my older brother. like it's not that bad but it's not very normal either. i mean sometimes we do talk about nice things have fun and all. but the 95% is just fighting and fighting and i don't like it. it somewhere makes me emotionally unstable. i've listened saying him so many times like she's not my sister etc etc which i know he said only when he was angry tho it still feels bad. like i feel maybe i'm not really a good little sister and i know i'm not because i was so childish. after going back to the home i guess i'm gonna try making it better by not getting offended easily and go out with him to eat. but i hope he will come because nowadays he has stopped asking because when in the past he used to ask that i was always like never it was never because of him it's because i'm a socially awkward person, and i don't like to go public places it just makes me anxious and remind me how i'm so unconfident and feel insecure about my body and clothing style. i mostly only go out with my parents. since i live away from home i think i gained some enough confidence. so i guess i'll be a more mature and fun little sister with him. yeah
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The
When I was younger I definitely was a scapegoat my little sister could get away with murder.
Once she scratched me (which she would do a lot showed up to school littered with scratches on my arms and face) up my nose and made me bleed all over. Only thing dad did was try to make my bleeding stop and tell her it wasnt a good thing to do but one morning I playfully threw a sock at her and she burst into tears and he started hitting me saying how I was cruel (again happened often over small things. Its doesnt happen as much since my little sister both has grown up and we dont see my dad as often (divorced w/ mom.
And in recent year, idk if Ive just finally taken notice to this but Im a victim to my older sister. She gets angry over anything and easily gets violent with me. Saying how she has a certain buttons and I just push them. And I wont lie I definitely tease her a little but nothing that she doesnt do to me. Every time she blows up at me my mom just tells me shes sorry and to try to be the more mature one since she cant handle my sister anymore (shes 19) and my dad just tells me to walk away.
Both cases no support from parents and its just exhausting.
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When I was younger I definitely was a scapegoat my little sister could get away with murder.
Once she scratched me (which she would do a lot showed up to school littered with scratches on my arms and face) up my nose and made me bleed all over. Only thing dad did was try to make my bleeding stop and tell her it wasnt a good thing to do but one morning I playfully threw a sock at her and she burst into tears and he started hitting me saying how I was cruel (again happened often over small things. Its doesnt happen as much since my little sister both has grown up and we dont see my dad as often (divorced w/ mom.
And in recent year, idk if Ive just finally taken notice to this but Im a victim to my older sister. She gets angry over anything and easily gets violent with me. Saying how she has a certain buttons and I just push them. And I wont lie I definitely tease her a little but nothing that she doesnt do to me. Every time she blows up at me my mom just tells me shes sorry and to try to be the more mature one since she cant handle my sister anymore (shes 19) and my dad just tells me to walk away.
Both cases no support from parents and its just exhausting.
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Snakey
Me and my little brother are both minors, he is 3 years younger then me, I am under 16. My brother has autism and cerebral palsy. When told to do something he just rolls over and closes his eyes, he randomly decides to be mean to me even if I was just having a peaceful conversation with him, this can also be triggered by my parents (for example, earlier this week me and my brother were just talking, I was trying to figure out something he was saying and it was overall a good time. My parents then called me out and assumed I was being rude to him, even though I only ever act in self defense and off of pattern. They asked what we were doing and I got irritated as I knew they were assuming I was in the wrong. When I got back my brother started ignoring me more, making faces at me and calling me names) whenever I've tried to help him when he's mad he resorts to yelling at me, blaming me in some way or (usually) attacking me. What would this count as? (This is not everything, just a couple things he does)
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Me and my little brother are both minors, he is 3 years younger then me, I am under 16. My brother has autism and cerebral palsy. When told to do something he just rolls over and closes his eyes, he randomly decides to be mean to me even if I was just having a peaceful conversation with him, this can also be triggered by my parents (for example, earlier this week me and my brother were just talking, I was trying to figure out something he was saying and it was overall a good time. My parents then called me out and assumed I was being rude to him, even though I only ever act in self defense and off of pattern. They asked what we were doing and I got irritated as I knew they were assuming I was in the wrong. When I got back my brother started ignoring me more, making faces at me and calling me names) whenever I've tried to help him when he's mad he resorts to yelling at me, blaming me in some way or (usually) attacking me. What would this count as? (This is not everything, just a couple things he does)
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yeahstaysowhat
I like these video because I fell like its not talked about enough. My older sister used to abused me, and even now there is still some tension. I have talked about it with my parents, but they seem to think that it wasnt proper abuse and i was just sensitive. My mother tells me that i have to forget her because she was a child, but It just stopped around two years ago, and she was old enough to undertand. Also, she hasnt neither changed as a person or apologised. I dont even know if she undertands what she did, but im terrified of the idea of talking about it to her. I wish i could just cut her out of my live and plan to once i move out, but my mother thinks i shouldnt and that im unfair because i dont want to be close to someone who made my live horrible. I think one of the worst things about the bulli victim relationship is when your parents refuse ti acept that one was a bulli and werent just being dramatic
(Sorry for spelling or gramar mistakes, english is not my first language)
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I like these video because I fell like its not talked about enough. My older sister used to abused me, and even now there is still some tension. I have talked about it with my parents, but they seem to think that it wasnt proper abuse and i was just sensitive. My mother tells me that i have to forget her because she was a child, but It just stopped around two years ago, and she was old enough to undertand. Also, she hasnt neither changed as a person or apologised. I dont even know if she undertands what she did, but im terrified of the idea of talking about it to her. I wish i could just cut her out of my live and plan to once i move out, but my mother thinks i shouldnt and that im unfair because i dont want to be close to someone who made my live horrible. I think one of the worst things about the bulli victim relationship is when your parents refuse ti acept that one was a bulli and werent just being dramatic
(Sorry for spelling or gramar mistakes, english is not my first language)
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BlackWomanUSA
Im the ghost child that avoids my siblings. I actually want to be close to them, but my Mother is a codependent Narcississt. Shes claimed multiple times that im trying to take over her position as Mother by spending time with my siblings or teaching them things. Then she started degrading them for going to me and would talk bad about me to make it seem like im a terrible influence. (i have a lovely career and live on my own in a different state, so theres no real validation for her degradation. Eventually they stopped talking to me much and I stayed away. a ghost. She now uses how i treat her, to make me out as this evil being trying to taint her control over them, so its gotten worse. (were all adults btw, but they still live with her, thanks to her never wanting them to leave home as well as financial abuse)
- dont know what to do except stay away. But i keep my line of communication open always.
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Im the ghost child that avoids my siblings. I actually want to be close to them, but my Mother is a codependent Narcississt. Shes claimed multiple times that im trying to take over her position as Mother by spending time with my siblings or teaching them things. Then she started degrading them for going to me and would talk bad about me to make it seem like im a terrible influence. (i have a lovely career and live on my own in a different state, so theres no real validation for her degradation. Eventually they stopped talking to me much and I stayed away. a ghost. She now uses how i treat her, to make me out as this evil being trying to taint her control over them, so its gotten worse. (were all adults btw, but they still live with her, thanks to her never wanting them to leave home as well as financial abuse)
- dont know what to do except stay away. But i keep my line of communication open always.
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Mw
Try figure it all out when there are nine sibling. LOL
There are different types among different groupings. Between all, between the boys, between the girls, between the older ones and the younger. They shuffle them all again to see how it is between the siblings and the parents. (Not to mention grandparents who have favorites.
Growing up the oldest girl thought she was in charge of everyone else and she knew best. The oldest boy did that with the boys. No one was ever going to be in charge of me, so them, thinking the majority wins, ganged up on me. I went away to college & never lived at home again. I guess I choose to be a ghost. 50+ years later the sisters still try to get to do everything their way. If I got a dollar every time they say you can't say that or you can't do that I'd be a millionaire. Instead what they get back is my saying: I can't? But I just did.
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Try figure it all out when there are nine sibling. LOL
There are different types among different groupings. Between all, between the boys, between the girls, between the older ones and the younger. They shuffle them all again to see how it is between the siblings and the parents. (Not to mention grandparents who have favorites.
Growing up the oldest girl thought she was in charge of everyone else and she knew best. The oldest boy did that with the boys. No one was ever going to be in charge of me, so them, thinking the majority wins, ganged up on me. I went away to college & never lived at home again. I guess I choose to be a ghost. 50+ years later the sisters still try to get to do everything their way. If I got a dollar every time they say you can't say that or you can't do that I'd be a millionaire. Instead what they get back is my saying: I can't? But I just did.
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Curls
vent warning i guess
why do the first two toxic relationships remind me of youngest(fav) child and oldest(least fav) child. like literally i relate so much to those two. my younger sister is seen as an angel in my parents eyes like she can do no wrong. everything bad she does they blame on me. im always told that i never do anything for my younger sister, when really i tell her no when she asks me to do things e. g. her chores, make all her food(she is old enough and knows how to make it herself, and give her my things. but when i say no to these things im told to get over myself, stop being a selfish cow and then i get some unfair punishment that my parents make. my younger sister is ruining my life, before her my parents treated me and my younger brother(the middle child) equally and we never got in arguments.
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vent warning i guess
why do the first two toxic relationships remind me of youngest(fav) child and oldest(least fav) child. like literally i relate so much to those two. my younger sister is seen as an angel in my parents eyes like she can do no wrong. everything bad she does they blame on me. im always told that i never do anything for my younger sister, when really i tell her no when she asks me to do things e. g. her chores, make all her food(she is old enough and knows how to make it herself, and give her my things. but when i say no to these things im told to get over myself, stop being a selfish cow and then i get some unfair punishment that my parents make. my younger sister is ruining my life, before her my parents treated me and my younger brother(the middle child) equally and we never got in arguments.
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Venus
Our parents are deceased already. So there's 5 of us sisters and i feel they're bullying me because im broke, they're not and im the youngest. I keep getting out of our group text because they end up twisting my text to make me look bad or they cuss at me and blame me right away when something goes wrong but at the end it was them who made the mistakes. Ive left the group a few times but they keep putting me back telling me that i should take their personalities as is, they are rude and cussing when mad, they are too old/in our 50s already and i should keep forgiving because im the spiritual one, and i cannot tell them off because they are old and might get sick. I told off one of them and now her cancer came back and they throw guilt trip on me. Now i feel alone and they always criticize me. Help. Thank you.
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Our parents are deceased already. So there's 5 of us sisters and i feel they're bullying me because im broke, they're not and im the youngest. I keep getting out of our group text because they end up twisting my text to make me look bad or they cuss at me and blame me right away when something goes wrong but at the end it was them who made the mistakes. Ive left the group a few times but they keep putting me back telling me that i should take their personalities as is, they are rude and cussing when mad, they are too old/in our 50s already and i should keep forgiving because im the spiritual one, and i cannot tell them off because they are old and might get sick. I told off one of them and now her cancer came back and they throw guilt trip on me. Now i feel alone and they always criticize me. Help. Thank you.
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DARKAURA999
When i was little, i kinda was a brat, but ive changed, and try to be nice to my brother, but now my brother is sometimes mean to me and tells me that im still annoying, even though i barely even talk to him. And he yells at me for the simplest things, like when he tells me to grab something for him and i drop it he gets mad. I related most to the golden child and scapegoat, even though i havent caught much favoritism, but i am pretty rebelious, and a couple times my brother grabs or hurts me when i didnt want it, and i say please no when grabbed, or say OW. I ask them to please tell my brother to stop doing it, they say im overeacting sometimes, and my brother KEEPS doing it even though i didnt want it and my parents still arent doing anything about it.
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When i was little, i kinda was a brat, but ive changed, and try to be nice to my brother, but now my brother is sometimes mean to me and tells me that im still annoying, even though i barely even talk to him. And he yells at me for the simplest things, like when he tells me to grab something for him and i drop it he gets mad. I related most to the golden child and scapegoat, even though i havent caught much favoritism, but i am pretty rebelious, and a couple times my brother grabs or hurts me when i didnt want it, and i say please no when grabbed, or say OW. I ask them to please tell my brother to stop doing it, they say im overeacting sometimes, and my brother KEEPS doing it even though i didnt want it and my parents still arent doing anything about it.
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FruitJuice
Hello my name is katie i am 10 years old. My older brother is 13 years. He hits me calls me F words He says the N word then acts like i do it all i have now fuferd with deppresion. I would like someone to comment plz i really need help i tryed the video i am still getting adoused from him he makes me feel like i am worthy of noting i get builled in school but i am still getting no help i am begging plz help he hits me takes out knifes and says stuff that i am to young to now i act tuff in school so i try to forget about it all but i cant i suffer when i go home if i dont do something that he wants i get builled slap hit by him he plays the victem i am a girl and getting hit by a boy plz help
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Hello my name is katie i am 10 years old. My older brother is 13 years. He hits me calls me F words He says the N word then acts like i do it all i have now fuferd with deppresion. I would like someone to comment plz i really need help i tryed the video i am still getting adoused from him he makes me feel like i am worthy of noting i get builled in school but i am still getting no help i am begging plz help he hits me takes out knifes and says stuff that i am to young to now i act tuff in school so i try to forget about it all but i cant i suffer when i go home if i dont do something that he wants i get builled slap hit by him he plays the victem i am a girl and getting hit by a boy plz help
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Ashton
My sister tells me to kms daily and when her ipad isn't working she will always shove me and whisper So ANNOYING, I hate her she should just KILL HERSELF! No wonder everyone hates her. She's so ugly and fat. So yeah lol. And she always uses she/her pronouns on me purposely even though she knows I'm trans. She says she supports trans people but she uses my brothers dead name and still uses she/her pronouns for both me and my trans brother. She even told the whole family I was trans even though I wasn't ready to tell them. Its at the point I'm completely unphased when she tells me to kms. And I can't even do anything about it because she says if you tell our parents I will them about _____. Lol
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My sister tells me to kms daily and when her ipad isn't working she will always shove me and whisper So ANNOYING, I hate her she should just KILL HERSELF! No wonder everyone hates her. She's so ugly and fat. So yeah lol. And she always uses she/her pronouns on me purposely even though she knows I'm trans. She says she supports trans people but she uses my brothers dead name and still uses she/her pronouns for both me and my trans brother. She even told the whole family I was trans even though I wasn't ready to tell them. Its at the point I'm completely unphased when she tells me to kms. And I can't even do anything about it because she says if you tell our parents I will them about _____. Lol
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Pecs
This is a major topic no one is ready to talk about fr. I'm so thankful for this video. I was emotionally and verbally abused as a child for basically 18 years and this has affect many areas of my life. Out here dealing with anxiety, ocd, fear of rejection, low self esteem, I sometimes feel like I'm never enough for everything so I tend to just stay away. Yet family comes at me and make me feel bad for staying away which helps me stay calm. I'm constantly fighting myself, worst part is, no one wants to hear my side of the story they all think something is wrong with me despite the fact that I question myself a lot and I'm willing to change. it's a lot. Glad to know I'm not alone in this
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This is a major topic no one is ready to talk about fr. I'm so thankful for this video. I was emotionally and verbally abused as a child for basically 18 years and this has affect many areas of my life. Out here dealing with anxiety, ocd, fear of rejection, low self esteem, I sometimes feel like I'm never enough for everything so I tend to just stay away. Yet family comes at me and make me feel bad for staying away which helps me stay calm. I'm constantly fighting myself, worst part is, no one wants to hear my side of the story they all think something is wrong with me despite the fact that I question myself a lot and I'm willing to change. it's a lot. Glad to know I'm not alone in this
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Summer
My sister told me that's why you are single. I don't understand why being single is a negative thing for her. She said you don't have kids and you are not married yet, so you don't understand our stress. When I was going through something difficult in my life and told them I needed some time to deal with it, she said my husband and I were very stressed too. She said I am surprised you still can't handle the stress after reading so much psychology stuff. She can not have empathy for me and she always wants to win. I thought she would have more capacity for love and compassion after becoming a mom, but she is still far away from being emotionally mature.
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My sister told me that's why you are single. I don't understand why being single is a negative thing for her. She said you don't have kids and you are not married yet, so you don't understand our stress. When I was going through something difficult in my life and told them I needed some time to deal with it, she said my husband and I were very stressed too. She said I am surprised you still can't handle the stress after reading so much psychology stuff. She can not have empathy for me and she always wants to win. I thought she would have more capacity for love and compassion after becoming a mom, but she is still far away from being emotionally mature.
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d4xent08
- I hate you!
- Okay.
is already normal. Seems like all the family trying to quarrel us. I was a great child with excellent marks. And he isn't. Our parents and grannies always tell him about it. But he doesn't understand that it is only because he doesn't work hard. So now, he hates me because of them. And he always waits for my mistakes.
It's not that bad, though. We have a lot of fun together and almost the same interests. I really love him and I bet he does too. It's just his anger issues and me not knowing how to help and how to explain it to him.
Don't mind me, I'm just trying to streamline this.
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- I hate you!
- Okay.
is already normal. Seems like all the family trying to quarrel us. I was a great child with excellent marks. And he isn't. Our parents and grannies always tell him about it. But he doesn't understand that it is only because he doesn't work hard. So now, he hates me because of them. And he always waits for my mistakes.
It's not that bad, though. We have a lot of fun together and almost the same interests. I really love him and I bet he does too. It's just his anger issues and me not knowing how to help and how to explain it to him.
Don't mind me, I'm just trying to streamline this.
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Mikasa
I wish, my 4th older sister and her new family will build their own house. I can't live witj her anymore. She's mean to me. She doesn't respect my feelings amd bounderies. She can't understand me. She's just sweet to me if needs something like food, money, baby sitting etc. If I'm not in mood, she got mad at me. And when I'm trying to explain or defend my side, she will say that I'm selfish, rude and no manners. No wonder why my 1st born sister is not talking to her anymore. She's manipulative. She's giving me and my 1st born sister a silent treatment. I'm sick of her.
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I wish, my 4th older sister and her new family will build their own house. I can't live witj her anymore. She's mean to me. She doesn't respect my feelings amd bounderies. She can't understand me. She's just sweet to me if needs something like food, money, baby sitting etc. If I'm not in mood, she got mad at me. And when I'm trying to explain or defend my side, she will say that I'm selfish, rude and no manners. No wonder why my 1st born sister is not talking to her anymore. She's manipulative. She's giving me and my 1st born sister a silent treatment. I'm sick of her.
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Margaret
I grew up with a brother who was 7 years older than me, but suffered permanent brain damage from an accident early in his life. He was almost always positive with other people but teased me relentlessly and knew how to push all my buttons. He wasn't good at understanding boundaries. I'm now in my early 30s and I can't stand to be around him much or talk to him. I never let him touch me at all after some inappropriate behavior from before I was 10. I haven't lived in the same town as him for 10 years, but I'm still not over stuff he did that bugged me.
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I grew up with a brother who was 7 years older than me, but suffered permanent brain damage from an accident early in his life. He was almost always positive with other people but teased me relentlessly and knew how to push all my buttons. He wasn't good at understanding boundaries. I'm now in my early 30s and I can't stand to be around him much or talk to him. I never let him touch me at all after some inappropriate behavior from before I was 10. I haven't lived in the same town as him for 10 years, but I'm still not over stuff he did that bugged me.
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DrewTheDude2023
I hate my sibling so much. I have autism and adhd and it is extremely hard to control it. I have told them MULTIPLE times and they dont understand. Not only that, but apparently when I cry or get mad they hate it. They prevent me from talking with friends and make my life miserable. I am so happy Im a few years they will be moving out so I dont have to deal with them no more. They manipulate me and make fun of me constantly, and not the sibling type of teasing either. They dont understand me. Yet i do my best to understand them.
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I hate my sibling so much. I have autism and adhd and it is extremely hard to control it. I have told them MULTIPLE times and they dont understand. Not only that, but apparently when I cry or get mad they hate it. They prevent me from talking with friends and make my life miserable. I am so happy Im a few years they will be moving out so I dont have to deal with them no more. They manipulate me and make fun of me constantly, and not the sibling type of teasing either. They dont understand me. Yet i do my best to understand them.
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Jedi
My Sibling Relationship is the Royal brat and the wise owl(me being the latter) as she always got everything she wanted but I got most of my stuff from the tip shop luckily I have 2 sets of parents and the others treated me well but still, my sister wanted some of my things from furniture to nail polish to beanbags and toys she wanted some of my things and never let me tell her no or she would do it when I was away, she always got good presents and furniture, as well as entertainment and I got toddlers toys and secondhand entertainment.
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My Sibling Relationship is the Royal brat and the wise owl(me being the latter) as she always got everything she wanted but I got most of my stuff from the tip shop luckily I have 2 sets of parents and the others treated me well but still, my sister wanted some of my things from furniture to nail polish to beanbags and toys she wanted some of my things and never let me tell her no or she would do it when I was away, she always got good presents and furniture, as well as entertainment and I got toddlers toys and secondhand entertainment.
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Believe
What about when a parent makes one sibling work so hard during the day and the other sibling is allowed to just comfortably do nothing and be lazy. My mom makes me work hard a lot during the day and my brother is allowed to do basically nothing during the day. Even I ask my mom about this, she says it's because I'm a girl and he's a boy. I'm the one who has to work harder because I'm a girl but my brother doesn't have to do anything because he's a boy. I'm 14 and my brother is almost 19.
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What about when a parent makes one sibling work so hard during the day and the other sibling is allowed to just comfortably do nothing and be lazy. My mom makes me work hard a lot during the day and my brother is allowed to do basically nothing during the day. Even I ask my mom about this, she says it's because I'm a girl and he's a boy. I'm the one who has to work harder because I'm a girl but my brother doesn't have to do anything because he's a boy. I'm 14 and my brother is almost 19.
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