7 Subtle Signs of Toxic Parents
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Date: 2023-08-20
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I just figured out a little while ago my parents were verbally abusive. As a kid, I never had my own sense of style, never had any friends, and always followed my parents every word, and I thought this was completely normal. Now that I have moved away, however, I have realized how much they kept me away from the outside world. They belittled me, compared me to my sibling all the time, and always made me cook and clean. When they noticed I did clean, however, they would say it wasnt good enough and that I was lazy. When they did complement me, it was always laced with judgement. Even now, Im terrified to step out and try anything I enjoy because I can see them in my head, telling me that its wrong or not worth it. Im a people pleaser. My self esteem is terrible.
I am getting help, however, and have a good group of supportive friends and mentors, so dont worry about me, every day is a little better. I still love my parents, always will, but that does not mean I condone their actions, or forget what they did to me. If I ever have a family, I will treat them with respect and true kindness. Not harsh judgement disguised as kind words.
For anyone in the same situation as me: Remember, your worth is not based on what others think of you. It is on what you think of you, so next time someone calls you lazy, fat, rude, or a crybaby (all things my parents called me) remember that is on them and not you. You are worth loving. This may sound cheesy, but its true. You ARE enough. And you will find people who love you. Have a wonderful day, and thank you so much for reading: )
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I just figured out a little while ago my parents were verbally abusive. As a kid, I never had my own sense of style, never had any friends, and always followed my parents every word, and I thought this was completely normal. Now that I have moved away, however, I have realized how much they kept me away from the outside world. They belittled me, compared me to my sibling all the time, and always made me cook and clean. When they noticed I did clean, however, they would say it wasnt good enough and that I was lazy. When they did complement me, it was always laced with judgement. Even now, Im terrified to step out and try anything I enjoy because I can see them in my head, telling me that its wrong or not worth it. Im a people pleaser. My self esteem is terrible.
I am getting help, however, and have a good group of supportive friends and mentors, so dont worry about me, every day is a little better. I still love my parents, always will, but that does not mean I condone their actions, or forget what they did to me. If I ever have a family, I will treat them with respect and true kindness. Not harsh judgement disguised as kind words.
For anyone in the same situation as me: Remember, your worth is not based on what others think of you. It is on what you think of you, so next time someone calls you lazy, fat, rude, or a crybaby (all things my parents called me) remember that is on them and not you. You are worth loving. This may sound cheesy, but its true. You ARE enough. And you will find people who love you. Have a wonderful day, and thank you so much for reading: )
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Ollie
3: 09 omg so relatable. One time i was normally discussing my birthday with my mom, and I suggested we see a movie for it. all of my other birthdays except for my 8th has been just like 3 gifts and sometimes a cake at home. So as for im turning 13 this year, I asked for to see the new fnaf movie for my birthday since its around that time. I sighed once she said no. All of a sudden she started yelling. I GET IT IM SUCH A BAD MOM! I SUCK OKAY I GET IT, YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE I GET IT BECAUSE I JUST SUCK! i started to cry because im sensitive to yelling. she started it up agina. SEE NOW YOUR CRYING BECAUSE OF ME! I JUST. SUCK! IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD MOM I SUCK! I AM SO AFRAID YOU WILL LEAVE ME ONE DAY JUST LIKE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER. . Cried to whole way home and an hour after we got home. I was very hesitant about sending a text to my sister saying I hate you because i hated the fact that since im the youngest, my moms emotions has built up because of my siblings and now she just takes it out on me.
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3: 09 omg so relatable. One time i was normally discussing my birthday with my mom, and I suggested we see a movie for it. all of my other birthdays except for my 8th has been just like 3 gifts and sometimes a cake at home. So as for im turning 13 this year, I asked for to see the new fnaf movie for my birthday since its around that time. I sighed once she said no. All of a sudden she started yelling. I GET IT IM SUCH A BAD MOM! I SUCK OKAY I GET IT, YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE I GET IT BECAUSE I JUST SUCK! i started to cry because im sensitive to yelling. she started it up agina. SEE NOW YOUR CRYING BECAUSE OF ME! I JUST. SUCK! IM SORRY IM SUCH A BAD MOM I SUCK! I AM SO AFRAID YOU WILL LEAVE ME ONE DAY JUST LIKE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER. . Cried to whole way home and an hour after we got home. I was very hesitant about sending a text to my sister saying I hate you because i hated the fact that since im the youngest, my moms emotions has built up because of my siblings and now she just takes it out on me.
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Call
This comes quite as a shock to me. For the last few years, I've realized how toxic and gaslighting my father is. I even cut off communication and visits to his house entirely about 6 months ago. Lately, my brother has been telling me that, since I'm honest about how I feel about our dad, he thinks our mom is toxic as well. I disagreed with him at first, thinking he was taking it further than what was actually happening. Now, seeing this video, I'm realizing. he's right. Not one of these traits are traits our parents both have, but they each have one half of the list, crapping about the other parents toxic behavior. It's heartbreaking knowing that you can have two toxic parents and side with one of them as your sibling sides with the other.
(Disclaimer: our father is the most pathetic parent while our mother is ambitious, which both me and my brother agree on. Although, our mother is arguably better at getting the upper hand on us than our father. Luckily, we're both of age to move out, and probably will soon)
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This comes quite as a shock to me. For the last few years, I've realized how toxic and gaslighting my father is. I even cut off communication and visits to his house entirely about 6 months ago. Lately, my brother has been telling me that, since I'm honest about how I feel about our dad, he thinks our mom is toxic as well. I disagreed with him at first, thinking he was taking it further than what was actually happening. Now, seeing this video, I'm realizing. he's right. Not one of these traits are traits our parents both have, but they each have one half of the list, crapping about the other parents toxic behavior. It's heartbreaking knowing that you can have two toxic parents and side with one of them as your sibling sides with the other.
(Disclaimer: our father is the most pathetic parent while our mother is ambitious, which both me and my brother agree on. Although, our mother is arguably better at getting the upper hand on us than our father. Luckily, we're both of age to move out, and probably will soon)
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Connelly
I'm going to be honest, it's saddening that people go through this, especially children. They are still developing and yet they have to grow up early on or have to sacrifice what they want to do that they should be able to do to please their parents or comfort them, trying to be perfect for them, all while they lose their childhood.
This isn't mostly with my parents, but my grandma on my dad's side. I have noticed that she is possibly toxic, especially to my little sister, and to my dad, so this and any other videos based on toxicity helps me to understand, and it helps me to know how to help and stop these types of messes.
I hope everyone can get through this, and know that you have to take care of yourself before others, as you can't pour from an empty cup. You are all perfect just the way you are.
-just a random 13 yr old girl
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I'm going to be honest, it's saddening that people go through this, especially children. They are still developing and yet they have to grow up early on or have to sacrifice what they want to do that they should be able to do to please their parents or comfort them, trying to be perfect for them, all while they lose their childhood.
This isn't mostly with my parents, but my grandma on my dad's side. I have noticed that she is possibly toxic, especially to my little sister, and to my dad, so this and any other videos based on toxicity helps me to understand, and it helps me to know how to help and stop these types of messes.
I hope everyone can get through this, and know that you have to take care of yourself before others, as you can't pour from an empty cup. You are all perfect just the way you are.
-just a random 13 yr old girl
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Meghan
Toxic mom: IT ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU
Me: where's is that mom 17 years ago
Toxic mom: and until you stop lying to me YOUR GROUNDED
Me: I'm grounded you think it so hard to be a trouble maker I can do that grabs flowers vase hey look I'm holding flowers hope I don't drop them drop vase and break's it
Toxic mom: gasp JADE
Me: oh no I dropped them but it my property guess it okay I'm an amazing child what if stop doing what you want me to do and do what I want even if I'm wasting my time on it that okay too I must be child of the Year
Toxic mom: jade Charline Johnston
Me: oh I know what if until I'm old enough to move out I JUST tell you how strict you are how you embarrassing me how my life maybe free if you weren't my mom would that be okay probably right
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Toxic mom: IT ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU
Me: where's is that mom 17 years ago
Toxic mom: and until you stop lying to me YOUR GROUNDED
Me: I'm grounded you think it so hard to be a trouble maker I can do that grabs flowers vase hey look I'm holding flowers hope I don't drop them drop vase and break's it
Toxic mom: gasp JADE
Me: oh no I dropped them but it my property guess it okay I'm an amazing child what if stop doing what you want me to do and do what I want even if I'm wasting my time on it that okay too I must be child of the Year
Toxic mom: jade Charline Johnston
Me: oh I know what if until I'm old enough to move out I JUST tell you how strict you are how you embarrassing me how my life maybe free if you weren't my mom would that be okay probably right
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AH
I don't know it feels like I forgot or at least tried to make myself feel better about it, they (especially my dad used to call us many abusive names) sometime I think being half caste he never truly accepted us with my mom as I started to grow up there was a pressure of being perfect and she was clingy about me never liking my community same as my dad now that I'm 20 and going for a degree I have tried to gain my control back but it's hurting both of us I just don't know how long I can remain silent I cannot be myself around them if I tell my mom sth or my some problem it's like publically announcing it I don't know what to do, even if I should declare and believe all this toxic but all I know is I'm getting tired
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I don't know it feels like I forgot or at least tried to make myself feel better about it, they (especially my dad used to call us many abusive names) sometime I think being half caste he never truly accepted us with my mom as I started to grow up there was a pressure of being perfect and she was clingy about me never liking my community same as my dad now that I'm 20 and going for a degree I have tried to gain my control back but it's hurting both of us I just don't know how long I can remain silent I cannot be myself around them if I tell my mom sth or my some problem it's like publically announcing it I don't know what to do, even if I should declare and believe all this toxic but all I know is I'm getting tired
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art
In the past few months somehow I realized that my parents are toxic and that there is actually nothing wrong with me. I always was a weirdo and they literally tried to change me. Like everything on me. Physically, Mentally. They played me so many times but when I told them about that they did everything for me and that immediately put me in a position that I'm not worth it. So now I don't want to make them proud any more. All I need is peace and a new home just for me. I wanna live far away from them. Like I still respect and love them but I cannot live like this anymore. I'm thankful for this video also because it just helped me confirming what I already find out
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In the past few months somehow I realized that my parents are toxic and that there is actually nothing wrong with me. I always was a weirdo and they literally tried to change me. Like everything on me. Physically, Mentally. They played me so many times but when I told them about that they did everything for me and that immediately put me in a position that I'm not worth it. So now I don't want to make them proud any more. All I need is peace and a new home just for me. I wanna live far away from them. Like I still respect and love them but I cannot live like this anymore. I'm thankful for this video also because it just helped me confirming what I already find out
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UmaPessoaAleatria
conclusions on my parents citing real frases, i knew they were toxic, never how but, i knew
dad: Unsupportive - keep looking at butterflies and you'll see where you get to! I was 12yo
dad: non available, no frase, cause he was at work and game me the cold treatment
mom: Emotionally dependent - are you gonna leave me for 5 days for lollapalooza? I'm gonna be alone? and the fake i miss you when i was there
mom: Unsupportive - why don't you study something to get a real job? i wanted to study animation and work for pixar maybe, now i work with software design(i like it though)
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conclusions on my parents citing real frases, i knew they were toxic, never how but, i knew
dad: Unsupportive - keep looking at butterflies and you'll see where you get to! I was 12yo
dad: non available, no frase, cause he was at work and game me the cold treatment
mom: Emotionally dependent - are you gonna leave me for 5 days for lollapalooza? I'm gonna be alone? and the fake i miss you when i was there
mom: Unsupportive - why don't you study something to get a real job? i wanted to study animation and work for pixar maybe, now i work with software design(i like it though)
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Autism
As a child, whenever I wanted to protest something, my Dad would say something like, You don't get a say! Here I'm the King! And about a month ago, I told him about a special needs girl (who's now ten) that still lights up when she sees me even though it had been two years since she was my student and his response was, Well, a kid like that is ALWAYS going to be naive so of course. Here I was, proud of the impact I had on a student and his first reaction was downplay it because of her mental impediments.
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As a child, whenever I wanted to protest something, my Dad would say something like, You don't get a say! Here I'm the King! And about a month ago, I told him about a special needs girl (who's now ten) that still lights up when she sees me even though it had been two years since she was my student and his response was, Well, a kid like that is ALWAYS going to be naive so of course. Here I was, proud of the impact I had on a student and his first reaction was downplay it because of her mental impediments.
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Leyon
I relate to all of these, especially the one with overburdening. My parents make me take way too many extracurricular activities and punish me for not completing all my homework, including from high school. Another thing they do is punish me so much that I don't even know what might trigger them, and I have to always be super careful to make sure they don't get mad at me, and I even fail at doing that. It's like they can't trust me to do anything, and I'm basically walking on eggshells at this point.
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I relate to all of these, especially the one with overburdening. My parents make me take way too many extracurricular activities and punish me for not completing all my homework, including from high school. Another thing they do is punish me so much that I don't even know what might trigger them, and I have to always be super careful to make sure they don't get mad at me, and I even fail at doing that. It's like they can't trust me to do anything, and I'm basically walking on eggshells at this point.
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education
My mother is 3, 4, 5 and 7. She totally depends on my emotionally and uses me as a rug to walk on by expecting me to do everything for her: the housework, a shield between her and her mother, sometimes cook for her, cook for her husband. She's antisocial and I'm her only friend. She comes crying, moaning, groaning to me expecting me to give her advice, ideas or whatever. And if I don't, she gets angry and thinks I have a problem.
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My mother is 3, 4, 5 and 7. She totally depends on my emotionally and uses me as a rug to walk on by expecting me to do everything for her: the housework, a shield between her and her mother, sometimes cook for her, cook for her husband. She's antisocial and I'm her only friend. She comes crying, moaning, groaning to me expecting me to give her advice, ideas or whatever. And if I don't, she gets angry and thinks I have a problem.
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Saumya
This video was very relatable being shamed for being fat by your own mother when you do something wrong. Getting scolded so much for forgetting to lock the door, being pressurised to do the best in exams, could relate to every point. She starts to shout at me when I do even a lil thing wrong and if i say even a word to her then she plays the victim starts to cry and wouldn't talk to me for days. All of this effects me so much: )
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This video was very relatable being shamed for being fat by your own mother when you do something wrong. Getting scolded so much for forgetting to lock the door, being pressurised to do the best in exams, could relate to every point. She starts to shout at me when I do even a lil thing wrong and if i say even a word to her then she plays the victim starts to cry and wouldn't talk to me for days. All of this effects me so much: )
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JK
they make you the parent
I've been since a kid, even tasked to do chores at a very young age.
I feel terrible after watching this video, I love my parents and care for them but I dunno sometimes I just want to disappear from their sight.
I acquired 3 properties and even up until now my achievements are shite to them. So does my medals back in school when I was a child.
Sigh. I dunno.
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they make you the parent
I've been since a kid, even tasked to do chores at a very young age.
I feel terrible after watching this video, I love my parents and care for them but I dunno sometimes I just want to disappear from their sight.
I acquired 3 properties and even up until now my achievements are shite to them. So does my medals back in school when I was a child.
Sigh. I dunno.
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Only4lxve
I was once getting bullied by someone from my class, I found this person online one day and they we're talking crap about me and calling me ugly. My grandma walked in an made me tell her what I was doing. She ended up finding out on her own and started scolding me and yelling at me making me tear up. The next day she told my mom and my mom scolded me also, even though I didn't do anything.
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I was once getting bullied by someone from my class, I found this person online one day and they we're talking crap about me and calling me ugly. My grandma walked in an made me tell her what I was doing. She ended up finding out on her own and started scolding me and yelling at me making me tear up. The next day she told my mom and my mom scolded me also, even though I didn't do anything.
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Ambika
When parents never support us it feels so heartbreaking
Example -
Im am a national level kabaddi player but whenever i try to practice at home they always stop me tell me to study cause according to them im wasting time and i should study because study is the only thing i should do I have to be the best at study and don't care about what I like
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When parents never support us it feels so heartbreaking
Example -
Im am a national level kabaddi player but whenever i try to practice at home they always stop me tell me to study cause according to them im wasting time and i should study because study is the only thing i should do I have to be the best at study and don't care about what I like
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Crimsonata's
I do experienced within these signs and yes. My parents are toxic. For I can experienced this within my childhood till now, they still had the urge to control me, telling things what to do, and especially when saying something harsh and pinpointing the wrongs to me. But well, I'm wishing to stay strong and to stay away with my toxic parents.
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I do experienced within these signs and yes. My parents are toxic. For I can experienced this within my childhood till now, they still had the urge to control me, telling things what to do, and especially when saying something harsh and pinpointing the wrongs to me. But well, I'm wishing to stay strong and to stay away with my toxic parents.
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Pluto
I was diagnosed with depressed and my dad pulled me to the side and said are you really feeling sad or are you just bored. I said i was just bored because i didn't want to make him mad but he could tell i was lying and got mad anyways. After he calmed down he just said i should smoke some weed with him and I'll feel better. It didn't really help.
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I was diagnosed with depressed and my dad pulled me to the side and said are you really feeling sad or are you just bored. I said i was just bored because i didn't want to make him mad but he could tell i was lying and got mad anyways. After he calmed down he just said i should smoke some weed with him and I'll feel better. It didn't really help.
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dr9cul
she thinks avoiding the situation by being harsh and thinking about how it's affecting her is associated with a life lesson for me. she legit took my sim card out of my phone and broke it in half. i go to school with no phone, nothing. she's toxic. she wont even let me talk to her about anything without saying im tired okay or shouting my name.
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she thinks avoiding the situation by being harsh and thinking about how it's affecting her is associated with a life lesson for me. she legit took my sim card out of my phone and broke it in half. i go to school with no phone, nothing. she's toxic. she wont even let me talk to her about anything without saying im tired okay or shouting my name.
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Mana
The big one I went through is an emotionally dependent parent. What is worse is, trying explain that results in a lot of but they love you and just love being with you. And they are the parents, they make the rules. This on top of my mom being narcissistic and having anger issues. It came out a lot during high school and into college
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The big one I went through is an emotionally dependent parent. What is worse is, trying explain that results in a lot of but they love you and just love being with you. And they are the parents, they make the rules. This on top of my mom being narcissistic and having anger issues. It came out a lot during high school and into college
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education
all my parents love is my grades and love controlling me and love hitting me if i dont study but the point is to love your child and never manipulat them and telling them im so proud of you you tried your best on studying but this never happens to me all is abuse coming after me and hitting me and everything worse
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all my parents love is my grades and love controlling me and love hitting me if i dont study but the point is to love your child and never manipulat them and telling them im so proud of you you tried your best on studying but this never happens to me all is abuse coming after me and hitting me and everything worse
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Betsy
8they celebrate their childrens failures &hate them when they pass &do well9they keep their children isolated10they tell others bout how they hate their children11they withhold food water meds &or supplies for whatever reason or no reason at all12they start stealing from &or making their children &or others illl.
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8they celebrate their childrens failures &hate them when they pass &do well9they keep their children isolated10they tell others bout how they hate their children11they withhold food water meds &or supplies for whatever reason or no reason at all12they start stealing from &or making their children &or others illl.
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education
Parents do things to their kids that make them feel upset and claim they want to protect us
Also parents: why dont my kids love me.
Seriously, thats loke saying men arent allowed to see female led movies, yet you say why dont men like female led movies
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Parents do things to their kids that make them feel upset and claim they want to protect us
Also parents: why dont my kids love me.
Seriously, thats loke saying men arent allowed to see female led movies, yet you say why dont men like female led movies
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ThatMouse
My parents hit so many of these, along with so much more.
Especially the emotionally dependent mother and avoidant father.
Wish my mother knew having me wasn't going to bring her dead mother back, and my father knew having me wouldn't fix her.
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My parents hit so many of these, along with so much more.
Especially the emotionally dependent mother and avoidant father.
Wish my mother knew having me wasn't going to bring her dead mother back, and my father knew having me wouldn't fix her.
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ian4serena
my parents done all 7 to me and more they destroyed me as a person. just waiting for my slow and pain full death the only way i truly will be free from this hell hole. i wish my soul would have never found this body i am in now.
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my parents done all 7 to me and more they destroyed me as a person. just waiting for my slow and pain full death the only way i truly will be free from this hell hole. i wish my soul would have never found this body i am in now.
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Ashley
One time when I was in my early 20's, my mom told me I'd never be able to live without her, or to be living healthily on my own. It's crazy to think that even though I'm an adult, she is still being toxic. It's very exhausting.
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One time when I was in my early 20's, my mom told me I'd never be able to live without her, or to be living healthily on my own. It's crazy to think that even though I'm an adult, she is still being toxic. It's very exhausting.
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