8 Ways Emotional Abuse Traumatizes You
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
All
So Im on a alternate account so my brothers dont see this, but I gotta story for yall! I suck at grammar by the way so any criticism helps. Im going to put this into sections in order and that will go further into what part this is about.
Section 1, who is who, drama and lack of guidance (This is basically as far back as I can humanly remember so my age was 4 at the least and 6 at max)
So I have three brothers and growing up my dad was absent and my mom was very extreme in whatever emotion she felt. My eldest brother was dysfunctional and had things mentally wrong with him, he would yell at people for the slightest things, create arguments that lasted for hours, and was overall petty. I often argued back at first because I didnt really know how to deal with it I was just told its because of his brain or something like that by my parents if they ever did intervene in any argument anyways. Now this started out petty its gonna get bad real fast.
Section 2, Escalation, Manipulation, Mental conditioning, and family control, I was 8-11 around this time I think:
As I grew the bad blood between me and my eldest brother got worse and worse there was a phew times we hit each other and he has hit me flat out before, but in his head Im the only one who has done bad he doesnt do any thing bad in his head he doesnt yell in his head he thinks hes some guru monk and I was constantly told I was the villain, my dad and mom only excused him and never protected me now whats worse is he started turning me into a monster or villain at all times and blaming everything on me whether someone broke a vase or ate too much food it was always my fault and convinced my younger brother the same thing (all thought it was a slow process)
Section 3, severity, effects, psychological damage, and uh this is the last phew years so 14-17:
So I felt like a monster and I would constantly get mad at myself if I didnt do perfect. I thought no matter what I did I would always be a villain and I didnt want to live because I thought that was the role I was bound to play.
Anyways this is just the short story of what happened and a general consensus of everything revolving around me and my eldest brother.
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So Im on a alternate account so my brothers dont see this, but I gotta story for yall! I suck at grammar by the way so any criticism helps. Im going to put this into sections in order and that will go further into what part this is about.
Section 1, who is who, drama and lack of guidance (This is basically as far back as I can humanly remember so my age was 4 at the least and 6 at max)
So I have three brothers and growing up my dad was absent and my mom was very extreme in whatever emotion she felt. My eldest brother was dysfunctional and had things mentally wrong with him, he would yell at people for the slightest things, create arguments that lasted for hours, and was overall petty. I often argued back at first because I didnt really know how to deal with it I was just told its because of his brain or something like that by my parents if they ever did intervene in any argument anyways. Now this started out petty its gonna get bad real fast.
Section 2, Escalation, Manipulation, Mental conditioning, and family control, I was 8-11 around this time I think:
As I grew the bad blood between me and my eldest brother got worse and worse there was a phew times we hit each other and he has hit me flat out before, but in his head Im the only one who has done bad he doesnt do any thing bad in his head he doesnt yell in his head he thinks hes some guru monk and I was constantly told I was the villain, my dad and mom only excused him and never protected me now whats worse is he started turning me into a monster or villain at all times and blaming everything on me whether someone broke a vase or ate too much food it was always my fault and convinced my younger brother the same thing (all thought it was a slow process)
Section 3, severity, effects, psychological damage, and uh this is the last phew years so 14-17:
So I felt like a monster and I would constantly get mad at myself if I didnt do perfect. I thought no matter what I did I would always be a villain and I didnt want to live because I thought that was the role I was bound to play.
Anyways this is just the short story of what happened and a general consensus of everything revolving around me and my eldest brother.
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Liv
My mother has been this way my whole life - Im currently 17, still in the thick of it, and every time she berates me or makes me feel less than, its like reopening the same wound all over again. I know she sees me as someone selfish who only cares about themself, when literally the only thing I have ever wanted from her was love; if i get angry back, I have an attitude and Im being disrespectful. If I cry, Im being a baby. I have no healthy coping mechanisms, I cry alone all the time and I can hardly identify my emotions half the time. Ive become a severe people pleaser, I constantly feel inferior and as if everything is my fault. Im constantly depressed and anxious, but I can never bring myself to ask for help or express any of those feelings to her, because Ive been taught that doing so is wrong. I internalize all my emotions and keep things bottled up until it consumes me, and even then I feel like I somehow deserve this. I have no stable sense of self, my relationships have been impacted by this because I have such a hard time being real and vulnerable with people now. I can barely be alone with myself and my own thoughts anymore- I either feel so much emotion that I feel like its eating me alive inside, or I start to disassociate just to cope and I feel absolutely nothing and numb - like nothing is real, im not real, nothing matters. life starts to feel like a first person video game. on one hand I cant wait to turn 18 and move away and leave all of this behind for good, leave her behind. But At the same time Im absolutely petrified of living my life and seeing how much she has truly damaged me and my emotional development.
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My mother has been this way my whole life - Im currently 17, still in the thick of it, and every time she berates me or makes me feel less than, its like reopening the same wound all over again. I know she sees me as someone selfish who only cares about themself, when literally the only thing I have ever wanted from her was love; if i get angry back, I have an attitude and Im being disrespectful. If I cry, Im being a baby. I have no healthy coping mechanisms, I cry alone all the time and I can hardly identify my emotions half the time. Ive become a severe people pleaser, I constantly feel inferior and as if everything is my fault. Im constantly depressed and anxious, but I can never bring myself to ask for help or express any of those feelings to her, because Ive been taught that doing so is wrong. I internalize all my emotions and keep things bottled up until it consumes me, and even then I feel like I somehow deserve this. I have no stable sense of self, my relationships have been impacted by this because I have such a hard time being real and vulnerable with people now. I can barely be alone with myself and my own thoughts anymore- I either feel so much emotion that I feel like its eating me alive inside, or I start to disassociate just to cope and I feel absolutely nothing and numb - like nothing is real, im not real, nothing matters. life starts to feel like a first person video game. on one hand I cant wait to turn 18 and move away and leave all of this behind for good, leave her behind. But At the same time Im absolutely petrified of living my life and seeing how much she has truly damaged me and my emotional development.
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Ela
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Four
it all started when we came to his house day one. He told me he would pay me for pressure washing his driveway what i got was a one dollar peice of cheesecake. Than he told me girls wont and will never like me the following night my mom got some type of sickness she was vomiting, pooping blood when she asked HIM for help he was drunk at a bar not paying attention than my mom told me about it me crying saying are you gonna die? She says no reashuring me after that he finnaly vame home when my mom was long gone and HE went to the hospital insulting my mom getting escorted like an idot. The folling day the van was gone. for context the van was my moms form of transportation and HE took it away he originally gave it as a gift when it was gone my mom called my dad he rented a car and got us out of that house i cried the whole carise home (4 hours) and the next following three days i mostly cred taking into mid i could not see my grandmother with stage 3 dementia i am still scared for life up to this day.
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it all started when we came to his house day one. He told me he would pay me for pressure washing his driveway what i got was a one dollar peice of cheesecake. Than he told me girls wont and will never like me the following night my mom got some type of sickness she was vomiting, pooping blood when she asked HIM for help he was drunk at a bar not paying attention than my mom told me about it me crying saying are you gonna die? She says no reashuring me after that he finnaly vame home when my mom was long gone and HE went to the hospital insulting my mom getting escorted like an idot. The folling day the van was gone. for context the van was my moms form of transportation and HE took it away he originally gave it as a gift when it was gone my mom called my dad he rented a car and got us out of that house i cried the whole carise home (4 hours) and the next following three days i mostly cred taking into mid i could not see my grandmother with stage 3 dementia i am still scared for life up to this day.
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education
as a male its hard to put this out there since society says i have to be emotionally strong at all times but my father as much as i love him verbally abused me since i was a kid (even telling me to off myself) and still to this day does occasionally due to his anger issues and has left me with severe social anxiety its hard to explain how i truly feel most times but i know im mentally scarred from him. He is a great father aside from what hes done to me mentally and i try to give him the benefit of the doubt from him not having a great father to grow up with himself but sadly hes passed that down on to me always putting me down on my hobbies i have a passion for or just in general saying extremely foul and unfiltered things to me that would probably destroy anyones self esteem as it did mine. ive bottled this up my whole life to this day sadly.
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as a male its hard to put this out there since society says i have to be emotionally strong at all times but my father as much as i love him verbally abused me since i was a kid (even telling me to off myself) and still to this day does occasionally due to his anger issues and has left me with severe social anxiety its hard to explain how i truly feel most times but i know im mentally scarred from him. He is a great father aside from what hes done to me mentally and i try to give him the benefit of the doubt from him not having a great father to grow up with himself but sadly hes passed that down on to me always putting me down on my hobbies i have a passion for or just in general saying extremely foul and unfiltered things to me that would probably destroy anyones self esteem as it did mine. ive bottled this up my whole life to this day sadly.
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Tufan
You are so right with every single word. The bad thing is that I don't want to become an abuser myself but I noticed that I tend to become just like my mother.
I take out my frustrations on the one person who actually cares about me and stays with me no matter what. I'm scared that he is helping me while I traumatize him. And I try to control it as hard as I can but I can't.
And I'm scared to ask for help bcs I think I'm going to make a fool of myself bcs of my emotional instability. When I start to talk about what hurts me I explode into an ugly cry and I can't even speak anymore.
Also I tend to think that even a psychologist would get annoyed with me and they don't want to rly help me, they just want to get it over with. Even tho many if them aren't like this.
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You are so right with every single word. The bad thing is that I don't want to become an abuser myself but I noticed that I tend to become just like my mother.
I take out my frustrations on the one person who actually cares about me and stays with me no matter what. I'm scared that he is helping me while I traumatize him. And I try to control it as hard as I can but I can't.
And I'm scared to ask for help bcs I think I'm going to make a fool of myself bcs of my emotional instability. When I start to talk about what hurts me I explode into an ugly cry and I can't even speak anymore.
Also I tend to think that even a psychologist would get annoyed with me and they don't want to rly help me, they just want to get it over with. Even tho many if them aren't like this.
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itsoutchy
One of the things I'm scared of due to emotional abuse is crying in front of my parents, in fear I'll be shamed or possibly slapped. The amount of times my Dad has made me feel ashamed for crying is absurd, then my Mum expects me to open up when SHE LITERALLY WITNESSED EVERY TIME I'VE BEEN ABUSED. It's given me the habit of bottling it up, which causes me to feel utterly awful, I've tried gaining the courage to talk about it, but it's hard.
I'll always remember this one line: Your brain isn't grown properly. Everyone tells me it's because my Dad was explaining that I may have autism, WHEN THE ONLY TIME THAT WOULD BE TRUE, IS IF HE WANTED TO UNDERMINE ME FOR IT.
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One of the things I'm scared of due to emotional abuse is crying in front of my parents, in fear I'll be shamed or possibly slapped. The amount of times my Dad has made me feel ashamed for crying is absurd, then my Mum expects me to open up when SHE LITERALLY WITNESSED EVERY TIME I'VE BEEN ABUSED. It's given me the habit of bottling it up, which causes me to feel utterly awful, I've tried gaining the courage to talk about it, but it's hard.
I'll always remember this one line: Your brain isn't grown properly. Everyone tells me it's because my Dad was explaining that I may have autism, WHEN THE ONLY TIME THAT WOULD BE TRUE, IS IF HE WANTED TO UNDERMINE ME FOR IT.
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Oscar
My ex was assaulted and cheated on. I've been friends with her for years, and we started to have romantic feelings for each other once we moved out of town. loved her with my whole being and I just couldn't accept that she was being increasingly more abusive to me. She used, gaslighted and manipulated me, and I still felt It was my fault. For a long time I felt the abuser, until she cheated on me, then I couldn't take It anymore.
I couldn't believe that her, my best friend, made go though all the pain that destroyed her. I still can't.
Of all the beautiful memories we had, now only remains hate and pain.
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My ex was assaulted and cheated on. I've been friends with her for years, and we started to have romantic feelings for each other once we moved out of town. loved her with my whole being and I just couldn't accept that she was being increasingly more abusive to me. She used, gaslighted and manipulated me, and I still felt It was my fault. For a long time I felt the abuser, until she cheated on me, then I couldn't take It anymore.
I couldn't believe that her, my best friend, made go though all the pain that destroyed her. I still can't.
Of all the beautiful memories we had, now only remains hate and pain.
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DaisyRoutinez
Remember, not your fault.
Repeat
I love myself
Im a good person
Not my fault
I am enough
I will take care of myself
I am not a failure
I am happy
I will be happy
I might not be perfect all the time and thats ok
I should love the people who love me
I have a great life
I love my life
I should work for MYSELF
I am important
I am smart
I am talented
I am fearless
I am intelligent
I am lucky
I am pretty
I have 3 role models, me, myself and i.
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Remember, not your fault.
Repeat
I love myself
Im a good person
Not my fault
I am enough
I will take care of myself
I am not a failure
I am happy
I will be happy
I might not be perfect all the time and thats ok
I should love the people who love me
I have a great life
I love my life
I should work for MYSELF
I am important
I am smart
I am talented
I am fearless
I am intelligent
I am lucky
I am pretty
I have 3 role models, me, myself and i.
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Pineapple
For a wile I have not really wanted to talk about how I feel with my friends because I felt guilty because they have worse problems and I have felt my problems were not real or that they were insignificant compared to others around me but I think I might try to reach out to some of my friends and try to get help but part of me thinks that they wont see my problems as real because of things they have said before and I hope that they do understand because I do need people to reach out to
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For a wile I have not really wanted to talk about how I feel with my friends because I felt guilty because they have worse problems and I have felt my problems were not real or that they were insignificant compared to others around me but I think I might try to reach out to some of my friends and try to get help but part of me thinks that they wont see my problems as real because of things they have said before and I hope that they do understand because I do need people to reach out to
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brainconfuzzled
My step mom has been emotionally abusing my dad and i since i was 7 years old im 16 and we just had another fight she calls him names everyday and i cant ever stick up to her. I hate how much it takes a toll on my dad. It rips my heart to shreds i do everything i can to cheer him up but we both Cant fix whats already been done. we cant make her leave because of my brother and my dad doesnt want to lose custody. i hope one day i can sue the ever living shit out of this monster.
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My step mom has been emotionally abusing my dad and i since i was 7 years old im 16 and we just had another fight she calls him names everyday and i cant ever stick up to her. I hate how much it takes a toll on my dad. It rips my heart to shreds i do everything i can to cheer him up but we both Cant fix whats already been done. we cant make her leave because of my brother and my dad doesnt want to lose custody. i hope one day i can sue the ever living shit out of this monster.
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Ted
Been there and done that. However, my abuse came from the most unlikely of sources; my classmates from day one of kindergarten all the way until I barely graduated from high school. Even some of my teachers and guidance counselors were in on it as well. I also used to apologize to everyone for everything as if all the bad things happening in the world were somehow my fault. I could continue but just suffice it to say that my childhood was not one I either wish to remember or relive.
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Been there and done that. However, my abuse came from the most unlikely of sources; my classmates from day one of kindergarten all the way until I barely graduated from high school. Even some of my teachers and guidance counselors were in on it as well. I also used to apologize to everyone for everything as if all the bad things happening in the world were somehow my fault. I could continue but just suffice it to say that my childhood was not one I either wish to remember or relive.
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Amia
Im watching videos right now about emotional abuse because if my mother. Shes made me feel emotionally insecure and always tells me Ive always had it good and Youre crying when Im just trying to talk to you but she always yells at me. Im a minor so I cant leave for a while, but to others being emotionally abused, it will get better for us at some point. Im trying to not convince myself its my fault but when my own parent is telling me it is, its hard. You got this everyone!
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Im watching videos right now about emotional abuse because if my mother. Shes made me feel emotionally insecure and always tells me Ive always had it good and Youre crying when Im just trying to talk to you but she always yells at me. Im a minor so I cant leave for a while, but to others being emotionally abused, it will get better for us at some point. Im trying to not convince myself its my fault but when my own parent is telling me it is, its hard. You got this everyone!
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Man
Idk if this helps anyone, but I was emotionally abused by my parents to the point where I kept falling into the same pattern when it came to who I dated. I have gotten to the point now that I keep watching this video to let me know that it's ok to cry, and it doesn't make you look weak or seem unreliable. Everyone is allowed to feel things and express things. So, thank you very much for making videos like these it really helps between therapy sessions.
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Idk if this helps anyone, but I was emotionally abused by my parents to the point where I kept falling into the same pattern when it came to who I dated. I have gotten to the point now that I keep watching this video to let me know that it's ok to cry, and it doesn't make you look weak or seem unreliable. Everyone is allowed to feel things and express things. So, thank you very much for making videos like these it really helps between therapy sessions.
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shawn
Well since this person's sorry i will just tell you the truth. Abuse makes you trust the person your being abused by and makes you think that they are someone to learn from ITS that bad! How do you think the one who abuses you acts? Thank your healthcare system for the new age. And remember tell the truth and it can turn around and don't expect any of it from them TRUTH! You want the problem with the heatchcare system it's the HEALTHCARE SYSTEM
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Well since this person's sorry i will just tell you the truth. Abuse makes you trust the person your being abused by and makes you think that they are someone to learn from ITS that bad! How do you think the one who abuses you acts? Thank your healthcare system for the new age. And remember tell the truth and it can turn around and don't expect any of it from them TRUTH! You want the problem with the heatchcare system it's the HEALTHCARE SYSTEM
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Friendly
I just learned today how horribly i was emotionally abused as a child and in my relationship with my now ex that ended today. Ive cried my eyes out and she is doing blow and getting wasted at clubs. She just put up a snap story of her at the club and she just added two new guys to her insta. She literally moved on in less than 24hrs and i dont understand how that she even possible. She cheated on me before as well.
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I just learned today how horribly i was emotionally abused as a child and in my relationship with my now ex that ended today. Ive cried my eyes out and she is doing blow and getting wasted at clubs. She just put up a snap story of her at the club and she just added two new guys to her insta. She literally moved on in less than 24hrs and i dont understand how that she even possible. She cheated on me before as well.
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Yewo
1: 12 - It takes long to recover from
1: 50 - Most people don't understand what you've been through
2: 24 - It gives you a negative outlook on life
2: 55 - It gives you a negative outlook of yourself
3: 28 - It has long term psychological effects
4: 00 - It can also have physical side effects
4: 32 - It puts you at risk of mental illness
5: 02 - It puts you at risk of becoming an abuser yourself
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1: 12 - It takes long to recover from
1: 50 - Most people don't understand what you've been through
2: 24 - It gives you a negative outlook on life
2: 55 - It gives you a negative outlook of yourself
3: 28 - It has long term psychological effects
4: 00 - It can also have physical side effects
4: 32 - It puts you at risk of mental illness
5: 02 - It puts you at risk of becoming an abuser yourself
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Tree
2 years and no timestamps in the top
0: 22 What is emotional abuse?
1: 12 Taking a lot of time to recover from
2: 00 most people dont get what you went through
2: 26 you look with a negative perspectives at life
2: 54 gives negative views of yourself
3: 30 Long term psychological effects
4: 00 emotional abuse and physical effects
4: 34 risk of mental illness
5: 04 fear of being abusive
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2 years and no timestamps in the top
0: 22 What is emotional abuse?
1: 12 Taking a lot of time to recover from
2: 00 most people dont get what you went through
2: 26 you look with a negative perspectives at life
2: 54 gives negative views of yourself
3: 30 Long term psychological effects
4: 00 emotional abuse and physical effects
4: 34 risk of mental illness
5: 04 fear of being abusive
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Bea
My father takes his anger out on me and my sister. I feel that my father just waits until my guard is down to yell at me and make me feel worthless, powerless, guilty. And Im not even in the wrong for it. My father should know damn well that yelling (especially from my own parents) sets off my fight or flight which can send me into a panic attack. Im about ready to stand up to my dad. Hes way in the wrong.
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My father takes his anger out on me and my sister. I feel that my father just waits until my guard is down to yell at me and make me feel worthless, powerless, guilty. And Im not even in the wrong for it. My father should know damn well that yelling (especially from my own parents) sets off my fight or flight which can send me into a panic attack. Im about ready to stand up to my dad. Hes way in the wrong.
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Candy
Im still dealing with this and it's absolute hell sometimes to know that someone that was supposed to educate you and you were supposed to trust does this to you its hell to deal with later on in life. If you or someone you know is being emotionally abused please seek help for them but most of all BELIEVE! Them please I can't stress that enough
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Im still dealing with this and it's absolute hell sometimes to know that someone that was supposed to educate you and you were supposed to trust does this to you its hell to deal with later on in life. If you or someone you know is being emotionally abused please seek help for them but most of all BELIEVE! Them please I can't stress that enough
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7Write4This9Heart7
My mom has emotionally abused/manipulated us our entire lives. But I refuse to repeat that cycle. It ends with me. That's not negotiable. (It's very interesting that insomnia, chronic fatigue, and muscle tension are all physical symptoms of emotional abuse, though, 'cause I struggle with all of those! That explains a lot! X'D)
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My mom has emotionally abused/manipulated us our entire lives. But I refuse to repeat that cycle. It ends with me. That's not negotiable. (It's very interesting that insomnia, chronic fatigue, and muscle tension are all physical symptoms of emotional abuse, though, 'cause I struggle with all of those! That explains a lot! X'D)
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Boo
I feel like when you had trauma growing up you've never really got to express yourself or see thing the no child should see and growing up my childhood was very bloody it look like I couldn't tell people how I really felt but thats why people or kids or anyone and blood verbal or physical depends how people act around you but anyway bye
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I feel like when you had trauma growing up you've never really got to express yourself or see thing the no child should see and growing up my childhood was very bloody it look like I couldn't tell people how I really felt but thats why people or kids or anyone and blood verbal or physical depends how people act around you but anyway bye
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Ralph
Psychological scars do not have to stay with you for life. I meditated, and cured myself from effects of sever trauma, life long trauma and neglect. Idk know if anyone will read this but i will tell you how to solve it if i know people are still in this comment section from time to time. Otherwise I'll assume no one is here.
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Psychological scars do not have to stay with you for life. I meditated, and cured myself from effects of sever trauma, life long trauma and neglect. Idk know if anyone will read this but i will tell you how to solve it if i know people are still in this comment section from time to time. Otherwise I'll assume no one is here.
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GentleCashew904
I am the victim of emotional abuse and verbal abuse and now I have thoughts about killing people who hurt me on a daily basis. I also curse which is a side effect from it. I have found comfort in a video game character that is not particularly a good person but I can relate to him.
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I am the victim of emotional abuse and verbal abuse and now I have thoughts about killing people who hurt me on a daily basis. I also curse which is a side effect from it. I have found comfort in a video game character that is not particularly a good person but I can relate to him.
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Robin
I was with a misogynist on and off for 10 years. Today, I take no sh from no one. Especially in a relationship. I am still sweet, kind, and compassionate. I trust me. And since, I left him Ive educated myself on such matters. Im now thriving in a loving, respectful, peaceful relationship.
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I was with a misogynist on and off for 10 years. Today, I take no sh from no one. Especially in a relationship. I am still sweet, kind, and compassionate. I trust me. And since, I left him Ive educated myself on such matters. Im now thriving in a loving, respectful, peaceful relationship.
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