4 Examples of Self-Gaslighting vs Overthinking
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Rudee
I do this a lot. I am crying right now because all of these traits apply to me and how act everyday like if some physically abused me for years like a parent or a spouse I am going to become overly analytical self judgemental and blame myself when I know very well
What really happened but I still question myself
And become very unhappy
My abuser made me feel like I was abusing my self and that they didn't do anything to me
I tried to help them and it made a certain situation far worse
I almost died and they basically told me to get over it
When you almost become a victim of murder of violent crime
And you stay with that person the gaslighting is not just from your own head towards yourself but from them as well
Because they constantly telling you that it supposed to happen and get over it
Which you start thinking yeah it is supposed to happen and that you deserved to be killed by that person and that it is normal because they are your spouse and that they have control of you
My abuser told a family member on the phone that they have a right to do that to me because they're my spouse.
The family immediately told that isn't right and that they should receive professional mental help o r they can end up in jail.
They made me question how we first met
When I didn't have the opportunity to leave early on in the relationship
I was told by my abuser that I am not going no where and I told my family about us
They proposed to me in the same three to four weeks that we just met
I didn't love them like that especially at first
Yes I know that was red flag
But I confused
I did want to do serious dating with this person but not a serious relationship/marriage as I didn't find marriage material for any woman because of their other life that was very traumatic and dramatic for me
But still I took it in anyway
And me in this person barely had any good days
It was a struggle
This person was not humorous at all they more robotic and not romantic
Very militant and stern
But charms others and not me
They will say that they hate me earlier on in the relationship in early 2019
But will say if you leave me I will kill you and others etc.
I was so unhappy I wanted to be off this earth asap
I am now single since a few weeks ago
And now I have to heal from this
Especially after they just blame for everything
They said I argued which I was putting my foot down to the abuse and I wanted out
I got tired of begging them them to change
The more I stayed it only got worse because they felt that nothing wasn't wrong with them
But there are a whole lot of victims that was in a relationship with them that suffered as well and they also said it was their fault too.
I hope they get the help they need as well and me too.
If you're in a relationship like this now please find a way to get help so you can get out.
Don't do what I did
I regret it all.
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I do this a lot. I am crying right now because all of these traits apply to me and how act everyday like if some physically abused me for years like a parent or a spouse I am going to become overly analytical self judgemental and blame myself when I know very well
What really happened but I still question myself
And become very unhappy
My abuser made me feel like I was abusing my self and that they didn't do anything to me
I tried to help them and it made a certain situation far worse
I almost died and they basically told me to get over it
When you almost become a victim of murder of violent crime
And you stay with that person the gaslighting is not just from your own head towards yourself but from them as well
Because they constantly telling you that it supposed to happen and get over it
Which you start thinking yeah it is supposed to happen and that you deserved to be killed by that person and that it is normal because they are your spouse and that they have control of you
My abuser told a family member on the phone that they have a right to do that to me because they're my spouse.
The family immediately told that isn't right and that they should receive professional mental help o r they can end up in jail.
They made me question how we first met
When I didn't have the opportunity to leave early on in the relationship
I was told by my abuser that I am not going no where and I told my family about us
They proposed to me in the same three to four weeks that we just met
I didn't love them like that especially at first
Yes I know that was red flag
But I confused
I did want to do serious dating with this person but not a serious relationship/marriage as I didn't find marriage material for any woman because of their other life that was very traumatic and dramatic for me
But still I took it in anyway
And me in this person barely had any good days
It was a struggle
This person was not humorous at all they more robotic and not romantic
Very militant and stern
But charms others and not me
They will say that they hate me earlier on in the relationship in early 2019
But will say if you leave me I will kill you and others etc.
I was so unhappy I wanted to be off this earth asap
I am now single since a few weeks ago
And now I have to heal from this
Especially after they just blame for everything
They said I argued which I was putting my foot down to the abuse and I wanted out
I got tired of begging them them to change
The more I stayed it only got worse because they felt that nothing wasn't wrong with them
But there are a whole lot of victims that was in a relationship with them that suffered as well and they also said it was their fault too.
I hope they get the help they need as well and me too.
If you're in a relationship like this now please find a way to get help so you can get out.
Don't do what I did
I regret it all.
reply
education
Thank you for this video I used to and still do these things and I have gotten better but not completely. A few months ago I hated myself so much I cried and had multiple panic attacks involving nausea, hyperventilating, sweating, overheating and having a hard time breathing before I left the house I never went out unless it was school i isolated myself out of fear because I thought I was so ugly and I felt lied to when people told me I was pretty because I couldnt find a way to believe them I always let myself down and ruin things is all I ever tell myself because its true Im not funny or good looking and it took a toll on me. I was in a very dark time in my life and I only wore oversized clothes so only my face was distinct not my bony skeleton of a body that I hated because I have been skinny all my life and my sisters cruel words hurt me most and I developed body dysmorphia and didnt eat lunch or most of my dinner most days unless my parents made me eat. I didnt want to feed the body I hated so much. I didnt want to let it live to tell the truth. And the fact I was gay made everything worse. Why did I have to be gay? I ask myself that everyday. Even though my mom and sister accepted me I still havent accepted myself after 4 years. s
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Thank you for this video I used to and still do these things and I have gotten better but not completely. A few months ago I hated myself so much I cried and had multiple panic attacks involving nausea, hyperventilating, sweating, overheating and having a hard time breathing before I left the house I never went out unless it was school i isolated myself out of fear because I thought I was so ugly and I felt lied to when people told me I was pretty because I couldnt find a way to believe them I always let myself down and ruin things is all I ever tell myself because its true Im not funny or good looking and it took a toll on me. I was in a very dark time in my life and I only wore oversized clothes so only my face was distinct not my bony skeleton of a body that I hated because I have been skinny all my life and my sisters cruel words hurt me most and I developed body dysmorphia and didnt eat lunch or most of my dinner most days unless my parents made me eat. I didnt want to feed the body I hated so much. I didnt want to let it live to tell the truth. And the fact I was gay made everything worse. Why did I have to be gay? I ask myself that everyday. Even though my mom and sister accepted me I still havent accepted myself after 4 years. s
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vanillapastry2
i'm kinda scared, why does this sound so familiar?
possibly because, for example, every time i write a comment such as this one i begin overthinking or self-gaslighting (i don't even know)about is it related to anything? am i wording this badly, or maybe, am i just imagining things? it's not even that bad is it? come on your life's fine just deal with it. you don't need to vent, it's just a temporary feeling. come on, you were just in a good mood! see, you were happy! you're not mentally ill, buddy. you're just living in a self-centered world, not everything is about you and it goes on and on and and on. until i end up deleting the comment. if you see this, then i suppose i got through those doubts. this one time. :D
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i'm kinda scared, why does this sound so familiar?
possibly because, for example, every time i write a comment such as this one i begin overthinking or self-gaslighting (i don't even know)about is it related to anything? am i wording this badly, or maybe, am i just imagining things? it's not even that bad is it? come on your life's fine just deal with it. you don't need to vent, it's just a temporary feeling. come on, you were just in a good mood! see, you were happy! you're not mentally ill, buddy. you're just living in a self-centered world, not everything is about you and it goes on and on and and on. until i end up deleting the comment. if you see this, then i suppose i got through those doubts. this one time. :D
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HappyMatt12345
Oddly enough, In a sense, I do both of these, but when I self-gaslight it's usually sarcasm. I'll say things to my friends or to myself like every time I play a video game, I'll inevitably find some way to break it bc I'm an absolute goof-up and break everything I touch apparently. but it's as a joke and I don't really mean it. Idk if that's a good habit to have but it hasn't caused me any problems, you know, yet, so it's probably fine XD
EDIT: I've been reading the comments and seeing stories from people who really do this to themselves, and I feel bad for my comment now, I really hope I didn't seem disrespectful, I wasn't trying to. I wish you all the best!
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Oddly enough, In a sense, I do both of these, but when I self-gaslight it's usually sarcasm. I'll say things to my friends or to myself like every time I play a video game, I'll inevitably find some way to break it bc I'm an absolute goof-up and break everything I touch apparently. but it's as a joke and I don't really mean it. Idk if that's a good habit to have but it hasn't caused me any problems, you know, yet, so it's probably fine XD
EDIT: I've been reading the comments and seeing stories from people who really do this to themselves, and I feel bad for my comment now, I really hope I didn't seem disrespectful, I wasn't trying to. I wish you all the best!
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Cirilla
2: 12 damn, that self-gaslighting hit me like a train, that's 100% me. Not to be proud off ofcourse. Jeez, no wonder i keep failing socially, and putting me in that downward cycle with that pre-applied negativity within myself time after time.
One lesson i atleast learned for anyone reading/needing this;
Social isolating is never the solution to prevent being hurt by others socially. Because you preselect yourself to fail, and thus create a self fulfilling prophecy by self-gaslighting. Just try to be open minded and try to go with the flow making friends, because you really need friends, and i know.
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2: 12 damn, that self-gaslighting hit me like a train, that's 100% me. Not to be proud off ofcourse. Jeez, no wonder i keep failing socially, and putting me in that downward cycle with that pre-applied negativity within myself time after time.
One lesson i atleast learned for anyone reading/needing this;
Social isolating is never the solution to prevent being hurt by others socially. Because you preselect yourself to fail, and thus create a self fulfilling prophecy by self-gaslighting. Just try to be open minded and try to go with the flow making friends, because you really need friends, and i know.
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Enlightened
Overthinking and self-gaslighting (or any variation of fantasy addiction) are signs of childhood abuse manifesting in adulthood. Isolation is the root cause of both overthinking and self-gaslighting. The solution is to get connected to realworld mentors and guides (not necessarily therapists) to give the information that answers the internal questions (bringing inner resolve and peace) and provide lived positive experiences that counteract the originally mentally destructive emotionally wounding events and thus result in healing the self-doubt of overthinking and self-gaslighting.
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Overthinking and self-gaslighting (or any variation of fantasy addiction) are signs of childhood abuse manifesting in adulthood. Isolation is the root cause of both overthinking and self-gaslighting. The solution is to get connected to realworld mentors and guides (not necessarily therapists) to give the information that answers the internal questions (bringing inner resolve and peace) and provide lived positive experiences that counteract the originally mentally destructive emotionally wounding events and thus result in healing the self-doubt of overthinking and self-gaslighting.
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Clara
I've been self-gaslighting for sooooo long. Especially when someone hurts me (funnily enough, when I start having boundaries, I tend to think I'm the one responsible and they wouldn't do the same to others because. I was the one to trigger the action / abuse.
I'm slowly learning that, even though I could have avoided situations by having better boundaries from the beginning, at the end of the day they are the problem for acting the way they did, and they will do it to others as well.
I'm not the problem. They are.
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I've been self-gaslighting for sooooo long. Especially when someone hurts me (funnily enough, when I start having boundaries, I tend to think I'm the one responsible and they wouldn't do the same to others because. I was the one to trigger the action / abuse.
I'm slowly learning that, even though I could have avoided situations by having better boundaries from the beginning, at the end of the day they are the problem for acting the way they did, and they will do it to others as well.
I'm not the problem. They are.
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Antares
I must disagree with the part where gaslighting is not about rethinking situations. That's not exactly true. It starts with replaying a situation over and over again. You know something was not fine or everything was ok, but still think you messed up because that is what you do. Than when you try to shrug it off like being it your fault turns into selfgaslight.
Overthinking is where you play every possible scenario. Selfgaslighting when everything went fine and you try to burry the clouds which were not even there.
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I must disagree with the part where gaslighting is not about rethinking situations. That's not exactly true. It starts with replaying a situation over and over again. You know something was not fine or everything was ok, but still think you messed up because that is what you do. Than when you try to shrug it off like being it your fault turns into selfgaslight.
Overthinking is where you play every possible scenario. Selfgaslighting when everything went fine and you try to burry the clouds which were not even there.
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Sienna
Number 3 hit home for me. Im constantly self gaslighting my abuse my stepmom did to me. Im totally blind, and Im on the autism spectrum. If I knocked something off, or spilled something, ran into anything, or even knocked something off a shelf in public, or if I constantly touched everything, shed get mad at me. I constantly tell myself, no, she was disciplining me, Im just overreacting. Or the cruel jokes shed play on me as a way of taking advantage of my disabilities, I tell myself, it was just a joke.
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Number 3 hit home for me. Im constantly self gaslighting my abuse my stepmom did to me. Im totally blind, and Im on the autism spectrum. If I knocked something off, or spilled something, ran into anything, or even knocked something off a shelf in public, or if I constantly touched everything, shed get mad at me. I constantly tell myself, no, she was disciplining me, Im just overreacting. Or the cruel jokes shed play on me as a way of taking advantage of my disabilities, I tell myself, it was just a joke.
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Nifflermini
So after watching this entire video, Ive realized I do both, really badly, to the point where I just dont have the energy to do anything, and I just let it happen thinking it must all be in my head. I always thought it was just social anxiety though, ( not that my mom would let me think that or even admit that I could have social anxiety) thank you for making a video about it, now I can figure out how to deal with it and maybe at least figure out better thinking patterns.
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So after watching this entire video, Ive realized I do both, really badly, to the point where I just dont have the energy to do anything, and I just let it happen thinking it must all be in my head. I always thought it was just social anxiety though, ( not that my mom would let me think that or even admit that I could have social anxiety) thank you for making a video about it, now I can figure out how to deal with it and maybe at least figure out better thinking patterns.
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Clay
I'm self gaslighting. But no one, not one, is telling me it's not my fault. I have an opinion very few like, which is supported by reasoning, experience, and even statistics, and I'm surrounded by nothing but opposition for that opinion. I guess the others around me have taught me to self gaslight. I will own my real faults, but I feel invalidated when others regard my beliefs as a fault.
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I'm self gaslighting. But no one, not one, is telling me it's not my fault. I have an opinion very few like, which is supported by reasoning, experience, and even statistics, and I'm surrounded by nothing but opposition for that opinion. I guess the others around me have taught me to self gaslight. I will own my real faults, but I feel invalidated when others regard my beliefs as a fault.
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Akai
This is so me. I overthink so much and use self-gaslighting as a way to justify my situation so that I can accept the situation. It stems from the mindset that I cant change other people and can only change myself, so if other people dont like me then it has to be my fault for not being likable or having certain traits. This video is so relevant. Thank you for sharing!
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This is so me. I overthink so much and use self-gaslighting as a way to justify my situation so that I can accept the situation. It stems from the mindset that I cant change other people and can only change myself, so if other people dont like me then it has to be my fault for not being likable or having certain traits. This video is so relevant. Thank you for sharing!
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LeWhimsira
Hhahha thanks for validating that self-gaslighting is a thing, I seriously do this a lot. not all of the specific phrases, but doubting and questioning my judgement, assuming the other person is always right, belittling myself? Ohhh yeah I do these far too often. Same with overthinking. It will be helpful to start trying to tell the difference
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Hhahha thanks for validating that self-gaslighting is a thing, I seriously do this a lot. not all of the specific phrases, but doubting and questioning my judgement, assuming the other person is always right, belittling myself? Ohhh yeah I do these far too often. Same with overthinking. It will be helpful to start trying to tell the difference
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So
Psych2go Something has been going through my mind that I want to talk about. There is something that happened to me that after thinking about it was abusive. Someone I know did an action that was under the guise of trying to protect me but was very abusive. It is affecting me deeply. Can I talk to you about it?
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Psych2go Something has been going through my mind that I want to talk about. There is something that happened to me that after thinking about it was abusive. Someone I know did an action that was under the guise of trying to protect me but was very abusive. It is affecting me deeply. Can I talk to you about it?
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Angry
I don't know if this is necessarily self-gaslighting, but I tend severely emotionally punish myself when I miss deadlines. I tend to tell myself my mental health is not an excuse to get nothing done. Maybe it is. Idk. It's hard to tell, but I've never heard of this term before. I'm gonna look more into it.
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I don't know if this is necessarily self-gaslighting, but I tend severely emotionally punish myself when I miss deadlines. I tend to tell myself my mental health is not an excuse to get nothing done. Maybe it is. Idk. It's hard to tell, but I've never heard of this term before. I'm gonna look more into it.
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Geoffrey
To be subjective all the things given when you wonder why to a situation has a 50/50 chance of being both right or wrong.
When learning interpersonal skills you can often do things that unknowingly can put people off you
But dwelling on it is only going to make you feel st either way
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To be subjective all the things given when you wonder why to a situation has a 50/50 chance of being both right or wrong.
When learning interpersonal skills you can often do things that unknowingly can put people off you
But dwelling on it is only going to make you feel st either way
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education
The #3 hits home, this parenting technique, being critic and say I'm useless, I wanted to stand up but in the end I could just think I'd be a curse to the family if I stood up. That sucks isn't it? My mom or my aunt actually the one doing this, while my dad supports anything I want to be.
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The #3 hits home, this parenting technique, being critic and say I'm useless, I wanted to stand up but in the end I could just think I'd be a curse to the family if I stood up. That sucks isn't it? My mom or my aunt actually the one doing this, while my dad supports anything I want to be.
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john
In My case I gaslight myself but self defence kicks in that tries to argue with the inner critics gaslighting. The critics response to my argument is gaslighting me even more twisting every word that leaves me in perpetual overthinking playing the argument over and over in my head.
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In My case I gaslight myself but self defence kicks in that tries to argue with the inner critics gaslighting. The critics response to my argument is gaslighting me even more twisting every word that leaves me in perpetual overthinking playing the argument over and over in my head.
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Lime
ooh shht, i do both of these and its fking tiring. im having a hard time trusting people bc of my past relationships. i know they have good intention but i cant bring myself to trust them. i guess that saying is true trust yourself first, so you can trust anyone
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ooh shht, i do both of these and its fking tiring. im having a hard time trusting people bc of my past relationships. i know they have good intention but i cant bring myself to trust them. i guess that saying is true trust yourself first, so you can trust anyone
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Nazifa
To me, I have both of these situation
I really don't know how to deal with this situation, every single time even when I want to eat and sleep.
It bothers me a lot and it makes me feel less confident in class.
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To me, I have both of these situation
I really don't know how to deal with this situation, every single time even when I want to eat and sleep.
It bothers me a lot and it makes me feel less confident in class.
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SHANIMATION
Im experiencing both at the same time and it's so tiring I can't sleep my brain always makes so much possible out come of every little thing I do. Then I just block out, not remembering what I was Even thinking.
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Im experiencing both at the same time and it's so tiring I can't sleep my brain always makes so much possible out come of every little thing I do. Then I just block out, not remembering what I was Even thinking.
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Zenri
this video helped me feel reassured the i do toe the line of gaslighting myself but do usually pull myself back to just severe over thinking. althought knowing the differences will help me with that in the future.
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this video helped me feel reassured the i do toe the line of gaslighting myself but do usually pull myself back to just severe over thinking. althought knowing the differences will help me with that in the future.
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meraki
I feel like I live more in my head assuming things and making fake scenario than living in real life, I'm so sick of it. If y'all have some advice to make overthinking at least bearable that would be welcomed.
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I feel like I live more in my head assuming things and making fake scenario than living in real life, I'm so sick of it. If y'all have some advice to make overthinking at least bearable that would be welcomed.
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Doug
Judging by personal experiences there one in the same, first one then the ether, maybe it's worked different in others brain, the had me chasing my own tail, but thanks to video like this, hopefully I'll be fine
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Judging by personal experiences there one in the same, first one then the ether, maybe it's worked different in others brain, the had me chasing my own tail, but thanks to video like this, hopefully I'll be fine
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Suzart
It's sad to realize how relatable this video is to me. I tend to overthink things and then when situations are tough, I put myself down and gaslit myself in the process and feel even more worse.
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It's sad to realize how relatable this video is to me. I tend to overthink things and then when situations are tough, I put myself down and gaslit myself in the process and feel even more worse.
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