I AM Manipulative. Is That Bad?
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
MythrilBiata
So in this story, this tells me Sade has a history of Negative manipulation and she felt triggered with her clothes. The fact that she was willing to change things up JUST for herSELF tells me she wasn't quite ready for the relationship with Jesse. I say this as I speak from this experience. When I discovered my boyfriend who I dated perhaps a lot sooner than I should have after the first breakup (we'd been together for 4 years for context) and I said yet to a date about 2-3 months later after the break up.
My Jesse kept my feelings in mind and we went slow. Which is what I think THIS Jesse tried to do, but when Sade confronted him about his controlling behavior, I don't know HIS reply.
I just know because MY Jesse and I kept talking and, like Gamers we are, worked on each problem one at a time until a solution was presented and proven effective in a Positive way.
So what happened?
Well, just celebrated 16 years of marriage, nearly 20 years being together. And I'm still in it UDDUP (Until Death Do Us Part.
So, if you're afraid of a manipulator, you will find them everywhere. Just. where are you goin to let it take YOUR perspective when you find out it's their Specialty?
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So in this story, this tells me Sade has a history of Negative manipulation and she felt triggered with her clothes. The fact that she was willing to change things up JUST for herSELF tells me she wasn't quite ready for the relationship with Jesse. I say this as I speak from this experience. When I discovered my boyfriend who I dated perhaps a lot sooner than I should have after the first breakup (we'd been together for 4 years for context) and I said yet to a date about 2-3 months later after the break up.
My Jesse kept my feelings in mind and we went slow. Which is what I think THIS Jesse tried to do, but when Sade confronted him about his controlling behavior, I don't know HIS reply.
I just know because MY Jesse and I kept talking and, like Gamers we are, worked on each problem one at a time until a solution was presented and proven effective in a Positive way.
So what happened?
Well, just celebrated 16 years of marriage, nearly 20 years being together. And I'm still in it UDDUP (Until Death Do Us Part.
So, if you're afraid of a manipulator, you will find them everywhere. Just. where are you goin to let it take YOUR perspective when you find out it's their Specialty?
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psych2go
My other friend keeps being toxic to my other friend, bullying him and mocking him when he has problems, and sometime they even posted something about it on social media. They said that the post was private but still nevertheless, my friend who had a problem saw this post about them mocking him. My friend who has a problem really messed up with his problem and he knows that, he even told an apology by then. I confronted them about what their doing and to keep their opinions to theirselves instead of mocking the person, especially in social media because they could completely ruin him, and his reputation about this, they even tagged him. My point was for them to realise their mistake, and to not do it again. They told me that I was unfair, and was the worst friend ever for pointing this out. Was I really wrong for confronting their behaviour?
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My other friend keeps being toxic to my other friend, bullying him and mocking him when he has problems, and sometime they even posted something about it on social media. They said that the post was private but still nevertheless, my friend who had a problem saw this post about them mocking him. My friend who has a problem really messed up with his problem and he knows that, he even told an apology by then. I confronted them about what their doing and to keep their opinions to theirselves instead of mocking the person, especially in social media because they could completely ruin him, and his reputation about this, they even tagged him. My point was for them to realise their mistake, and to not do it again. They told me that I was unfair, and was the worst friend ever for pointing this out. Was I really wrong for confronting their behaviour?
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Great
She couldve been more open with the relationship and finished talking with him and end all ties with him but at least it was all figured out she did not have to do that to her friends cause Thomas probably didnt even know about that boundary she never talked to them about that boundary so why make such an extreme move for that reason? It just makes more of a mess all around including herself she will loose more people if she continue doing that it seems she shows a bit of controlling behavior as well and she doesnt have foundations of trust with anyone including her self so the next relationship or friendships would not end well its a constant cycle of distrust and insecurity, that how I see it with everyone its different not everyone handles everything the same way
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She couldve been more open with the relationship and finished talking with him and end all ties with him but at least it was all figured out she did not have to do that to her friends cause Thomas probably didnt even know about that boundary she never talked to them about that boundary so why make such an extreme move for that reason? It just makes more of a mess all around including herself she will loose more people if she continue doing that it seems she shows a bit of controlling behavior as well and she doesnt have foundations of trust with anyone including her self so the next relationship or friendships would not end well its a constant cycle of distrust and insecurity, that how I see it with everyone its different not everyone handles everything the same way
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education
Nope still bad. it is not my partner's responsability protect me of the troubles I had or caused in a past relationship. Why hide? If you feel doubts about it why no talk about it, If someone needs clarity and I care, I will find a way to talk about it and if the trust is broken after conversation, then we can see what's next, it is about being considered and take accountability of my responsibility as a partner only, not for all the world of the other person. Manipulate to protect others is a narcissistic trait. because first of all it is not your business, any speech after the action is a sad justification for a bad behavior done with treachery and advantage knowing the damage it could cause.
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Nope still bad. it is not my partner's responsability protect me of the troubles I had or caused in a past relationship. Why hide? If you feel doubts about it why no talk about it, If someone needs clarity and I care, I will find a way to talk about it and if the trust is broken after conversation, then we can see what's next, it is about being considered and take accountability of my responsibility as a partner only, not for all the world of the other person. Manipulate to protect others is a narcissistic trait. because first of all it is not your business, any speech after the action is a sad justification for a bad behavior done with treachery and advantage knowing the damage it could cause.
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random
I've been incredibly worried and scared that I'm manipulative or toxic. My intentions arnt at all bad but it still feels wrong. they have incredibly toxic and abusive friends and parents and I've I've trying to get them to understand their behavior and distance themselves from them. Am I toxic or manipulative for convincing them to distance themselves from toxic friends and family?
To clarify, the parents are emotionally abusive and the friends use them as a convenience friend, not putting back the effort he does into the friendship and looks the other way when he asks for help.
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I've been incredibly worried and scared that I'm manipulative or toxic. My intentions arnt at all bad but it still feels wrong. they have incredibly toxic and abusive friends and parents and I've I've trying to get them to understand their behavior and distance themselves from them. Am I toxic or manipulative for convincing them to distance themselves from toxic friends and family?
To clarify, the parents are emotionally abusive and the friends use them as a convenience friend, not putting back the effort he does into the friendship and looks the other way when he asks for help.
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Emma
Being able to spot manipulation is so important.
I had always thought of manipulation as being a bad thing, but actually, this proves that sometimes it can be necessary.
I think it's important to put yourself first, but to be mindful that others aren't being hurt as a result.
Sadie wasn't hurting Thomas by trying to catch him out to see if he was the one feeding information back about her - so I think this is ok.
Sure, there might have been another way to find out but this allowed Sadie to see that Thomas wasn't a good friend like she thought.
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Being able to spot manipulation is so important.
I had always thought of manipulation as being a bad thing, but actually, this proves that sometimes it can be necessary.
I think it's important to put yourself first, but to be mindful that others aren't being hurt as a result.
Sadie wasn't hurting Thomas by trying to catch him out to see if he was the one feeding information back about her - so I think this is ok.
Sure, there might have been another way to find out but this allowed Sadie to see that Thomas wasn't a good friend like she thought.
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Gaburley
I disagree. Is Sadie had just said love you but, I like this outfit. Sadie trained Jessey that his opinions were her commands.
Politely stand up for yourself and be prepared to walk away. Basically take personal responsibility. It might have ended the same way however it might have been different had Sadie set a boundary. I was raised by a dressmaker and have my opinions, but they are just personal taste. Mind you, I'm old and do things differently (notice that subtle, emotional manipulation.
Keep happy
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I disagree. Is Sadie had just said love you but, I like this outfit. Sadie trained Jessey that his opinions were her commands.
Politely stand up for yourself and be prepared to walk away. Basically take personal responsibility. It might have ended the same way however it might have been different had Sadie set a boundary. I was raised by a dressmaker and have my opinions, but they are just personal taste. Mind you, I'm old and do things differently (notice that subtle, emotional manipulation.
Keep happy
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Sohaib_
I have learned to manipulate people, i never manipulate any body except if i need to, i dont use people, but i have learned to gas light people and or influence them to do smth else or make them believe me, i know how to seem like i am not lying like at all, but i dont like lying, i might fully hate someone but keep friends with them just for the benefit of them being my friends as i can prob get them to be nice back to me or use them for some information or smth like that, i usally do it just to get some peace
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I have learned to manipulate people, i never manipulate any body except if i need to, i dont use people, but i have learned to gas light people and or influence them to do smth else or make them believe me, i know how to seem like i am not lying like at all, but i dont like lying, i might fully hate someone but keep friends with them just for the benefit of them being my friends as i can prob get them to be nice back to me or use them for some information or smth like that, i usally do it just to get some peace
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v1rus
I don't know what to think anymore cause I remember one time that one of my best friends admitted to me that she is quite manipulative and is constantly starting fights and drama between people by twisting the things that they actually said just for her enjoyment and I'm pretty sure she did this with me and her cousin cause we got in a pretty big fight and to this day I wonder did she do it on purpose?
(I'm still friends with her though since she cares for me a lot and helps me with mental problems)
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I don't know what to think anymore cause I remember one time that one of my best friends admitted to me that she is quite manipulative and is constantly starting fights and drama between people by twisting the things that they actually said just for her enjoyment and I'm pretty sure she did this with me and her cousin cause we got in a pretty big fight and to this day I wonder did she do it on purpose?
(I'm still friends with her though since she cares for me a lot and helps me with mental problems)
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Sharing
I was hoping this video was about manipulating people for their own good. I've had many experiences where I've asked strategic questions of my friends with low self-esteem and tricked them into saying nice things about themselves, or have said things to friends on a downward depressive spiral that I knew would upset them and would cause them to argue with me because in focusing on the argument they snapped out of their spiral and got a boost in confidence from standing their ground.
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I was hoping this video was about manipulating people for their own good. I've had many experiences where I've asked strategic questions of my friends with low self-esteem and tricked them into saying nice things about themselves, or have said things to friends on a downward depressive spiral that I knew would upset them and would cause them to argue with me because in focusing on the argument they snapped out of their spiral and got a boost in confidence from standing their ground.
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Video
From what I take from this, two people were being manipulative, one for bad reasons, the other for good reasons, also one seemed unintentional, but toxic, while the other is justifiable, and reasonable.
Although one thing I don't like is that no one seems to want to talk things out, although that's easier said than done now a days.
You have to be sneaky instead of being straight forward and trying to go to great lengths because of certain people who takes the wrong action.
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From what I take from this, two people were being manipulative, one for bad reasons, the other for good reasons, also one seemed unintentional, but toxic, while the other is justifiable, and reasonable.
Although one thing I don't like is that no one seems to want to talk things out, although that's easier said than done now a days.
You have to be sneaky instead of being straight forward and trying to go to great lengths because of certain people who takes the wrong action.
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Cruz
manipulation is good and bad like the description said controlling the situation cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously if you have the the right amount of skill to control a situation cleverly like what the girlfriend did then it is fine in some other situation to like disagreements, fights, and so on but when you start using manipulation like the other two definitions say then that is when it becomes bad like how the boyfriend was using it
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manipulation is good and bad like the description said controlling the situation cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously if you have the the right amount of skill to control a situation cleverly like what the girlfriend did then it is fine in some other situation to like disagreements, fights, and so on but when you start using manipulation like the other two definitions say then that is when it becomes bad like how the boyfriend was using it
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Ucha
OR is the key word in that definition. Any form of communication can be good or bad depending on how it's used. Gaslighting is manipulation taken to it's worst extreme, while coercing is manipulation at it's mildest. I manipulate my sister into doing her chores all the time because she lacks motivation to do even simple tasks. I don't make her do mine, just her own. Therefore I'm not doing anything wrong just making sure things get done.
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OR is the key word in that definition. Any form of communication can be good or bad depending on how it's used. Gaslighting is manipulation taken to it's worst extreme, while coercing is manipulation at it's mildest. I manipulate my sister into doing her chores all the time because she lacks motivation to do even simple tasks. I don't make her do mine, just her own. Therefore I'm not doing anything wrong just making sure things get done.
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Tiktok
Manipuation is only good when someone being manipulated is not harmed in anyways and anyhow. Manipulation is INSIDIOUS, harmful and dangerous. it comes in many ways, sometimes its subtle and sometimes they do it in obvious manner to guilt trip the scapegoat/victim. Manipulation is not easy to spot (for those unaware) specially if its done by the CLUSTER B types of personaity disorders including the FLYING MONKEYS.
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Manipuation is only good when someone being manipulated is not harmed in anyways and anyhow. Manipulation is INSIDIOUS, harmful and dangerous. it comes in many ways, sometimes its subtle and sometimes they do it in obvious manner to guilt trip the scapegoat/victim. Manipulation is not easy to spot (for those unaware) specially if its done by the CLUSTER B types of personaity disorders including the FLYING MONKEYS.
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Punnamaraju
Two things are important: intent and consequences. Sadie had self-defensive intents, and the consequences of her actions were that she found out and cut out a friend that was putting her in harm's way. No foul.
There have been times in my life where I lied to protect someone's feelings, and it turned out to be the worse choice. The intentions were there but I did hurt my friends.
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Two things are important: intent and consequences. Sadie had self-defensive intents, and the consequences of her actions were that she found out and cut out a friend that was putting her in harm's way. No foul.
There have been times in my life where I lied to protect someone's feelings, and it turned out to be the worse choice. The intentions were there but I did hurt my friends.
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Celia
Manipulation is a bad habit.
You don't want to learn how to be manipulative.
You want to learn what it is so you won't do it to others and others won't do it to you.
Manipulation is a bad habit for those who didn't get the principles of everything later on psychological, in adulthood.
Children are probably watching this video too and that's how you build principles.
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Manipulation is a bad habit.
You don't want to learn how to be manipulative.
You want to learn what it is so you won't do it to others and others won't do it to you.
Manipulation is a bad habit for those who didn't get the principles of everything later on psychological, in adulthood.
Children are probably watching this video too and that's how you build principles.
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Dustin
You make a very good point. 98% of manipulation is by people acting in their own self interest to the other persons detriment. Only maybe 2% act altruistically for the other persons benefit. Its all about morality. Honorable people dont often have to resort to this. But some people wont take good advice or recognize it for what it is to correct their errors. Maybe its 90/10.
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You make a very good point. 98% of manipulation is by people acting in their own self interest to the other persons detriment. Only maybe 2% act altruistically for the other persons benefit. Its all about morality. Honorable people dont often have to resort to this. But some people wont take good advice or recognize it for what it is to correct their errors. Maybe its 90/10.
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Gabe
Manipulation is a tool, like anything else in the world, it's not the tool you worry about, it's the person weilding it, it's like a gun, it can be used for great good, or great evil, in the end that same princeable applies to litrally everything on the planet, honest everyone here is guilty of manipulation on some scale, the only thing defineing it is perception.
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Manipulation is a tool, like anything else in the world, it's not the tool you worry about, it's the person weilding it, it's like a gun, it can be used for great good, or great evil, in the end that same princeable applies to litrally everything on the planet, honest everyone here is guilty of manipulation on some scale, the only thing defineing it is perception.
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Blondiekuy
Most of My family is manipulative it started with my parents and quickly speed to us kids as a learned behavior. When I was younger I wasnt really conscious of my manipulative trait but I as I got older I learned what I was doing and now I only use it if I want to learn something. I know it not always right but I think that sometimes it is necessary to do.
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Most of My family is manipulative it started with my parents and quickly speed to us kids as a learned behavior. When I was younger I wasnt really conscious of my manipulative trait but I as I got older I learned what I was doing and now I only use it if I want to learn something. I know it not always right but I think that sometimes it is necessary to do.
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Smooth
Manipulation is just a tool and it all depends on how you use it, like a hammer.
That trick in the video is called coloring the water and is a tool often used in the corporate world to find whistleblowers and disloyal employees. Something to keep in mind if you ever find yourself in a management position, or thinking about making an 'anonymous complaint.
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Manipulation is just a tool and it all depends on how you use it, like a hammer.
That trick in the video is called coloring the water and is a tool often used in the corporate world to find whistleblowers and disloyal employees. Something to keep in mind if you ever find yourself in a management position, or thinking about making an 'anonymous complaint.
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Elizabeth's
In my school life i was subjected to a lot of manipulation to the point where I thought I was manipulative too, but then i stumbled across this video and saw everything in a different way. Now that i'm older, i have learnt to let go of those fake friends and abusive people, and doing that is not wrong even if you have to be a bit manipulative.
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In my school life i was subjected to a lot of manipulation to the point where I thought I was manipulative too, but then i stumbled across this video and saw everything in a different way. Now that i'm older, i have learnt to let go of those fake friends and abusive people, and doing that is not wrong even if you have to be a bit manipulative.
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FMeister94
I guess where my head is at is how manipulative comments turned to needing to move out of your home away from them. It feels like there is whole chunk of the story missing. Manipulative sorta means this is an ongoing habit I guess so pointing it out in a single scenario is a flimsy way to go about answering this question.
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I guess where my head is at is how manipulative comments turned to needing to move out of your home away from them. It feels like there is whole chunk of the story missing. Manipulative sorta means this is an ongoing habit I guess so pointing it out in a single scenario is a flimsy way to go about answering this question.
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MOU-JUN
In my one opinion manipulation is an art, I have been in a relationship and I had changed my partner even without the knowledge but leading her to higher values, goals, philosophic thinking.
If you see lord Krishna was a great manipulator but for a greater cause
Nothing is good or bad, intention define every.
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In my one opinion manipulation is an art, I have been in a relationship and I had changed my partner even without the knowledge but leading her to higher values, goals, philosophic thinking.
If you see lord Krishna was a great manipulator but for a greater cause
Nothing is good or bad, intention define every.
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Maino
How can a controlling person not be controlling in a relationship? How can a person get someone to do what is good for them (the other person) without forcing them to? How can a person get their points across without hurting anyone's feelings? How can a person get across a logical point towards an emotional person?
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How can a controlling person not be controlling in a relationship? How can a person get someone to do what is good for them (the other person) without forcing them to? How can a person get their points across without hurting anyone's feelings? How can a person get across a logical point towards an emotional person?
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Eli
As far as Im concerned, there are better ways to handle that situation, sit them down individually and talk to them, or talk to them as a group and go about it in a communicative way without having to lie, but if were speaking in the context of just analyzing the manipulation, I dont think it was necessarily bad.
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As far as Im concerned, there are better ways to handle that situation, sit them down individually and talk to them, or talk to them as a group and go about it in a communicative way without having to lie, but if were speaking in the context of just analyzing the manipulation, I dont think it was necessarily bad.
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