How To Know If Theyre Just Being Nice Not Flirting
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Urburs
One thing that a lot of people need to understand is that a lot of people are either flirty by nature or nice by nature, and someone that comes off as flirty to you could just mean that youre lonely. Thats nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something you should acknowledge about yourself. Just because someone is nice to you, whether it be because they are trying to nice or because they actually are a nice person, doesnt mean they are attracted to you, and you need to be okay with that.
Some people actually like you but as an acquaintance or friend and nothing more, and if someone likes you more than that, then you can let the situation evolve as such on its own.
You cant force someone to be more than that if theyre just being nice, some people are just flirty or nice by nature. Normally, Id say that if you cant tell, then ask, but that doesnt work for a lot of situations, like if the person is already taken and happy, or if they have their own personal problems going on and just need a friend, but just consider that you have your own things going on and so does everyone else.
Were all on our own journeys and none of us can force something into what we want it to be if thats not how its meant to be, and that goes for everything. I dont mean to be so vague, but basically, just let things come naturally, whether it be just a simple friendship and nothing more, or maybe something, but dont expect everything, just respect anything (within reason.
Sorry for being so long-winded.
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One thing that a lot of people need to understand is that a lot of people are either flirty by nature or nice by nature, and someone that comes off as flirty to you could just mean that youre lonely. Thats nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something you should acknowledge about yourself. Just because someone is nice to you, whether it be because they are trying to nice or because they actually are a nice person, doesnt mean they are attracted to you, and you need to be okay with that.
Some people actually like you but as an acquaintance or friend and nothing more, and if someone likes you more than that, then you can let the situation evolve as such on its own.
You cant force someone to be more than that if theyre just being nice, some people are just flirty or nice by nature. Normally, Id say that if you cant tell, then ask, but that doesnt work for a lot of situations, like if the person is already taken and happy, or if they have their own personal problems going on and just need a friend, but just consider that you have your own things going on and so does everyone else.
Were all on our own journeys and none of us can force something into what we want it to be if thats not how its meant to be, and that goes for everything. I dont mean to be so vague, but basically, just let things come naturally, whether it be just a simple friendship and nothing more, or maybe something, but dont expect everything, just respect anything (within reason.
Sorry for being so long-winded.
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Sam
My first crush was a girl who would always walk up and talk to me and sometimes would walk up and hug me, and then start talking. We would talk on the phone, in person and through texting. She was fun and cool which made me nervous. I also made the mistake of telling my parents about this. This led to them telling me she obviously likes you too. I had family members from other states suddenly knowing about this and telling me to go for it. So I went for it. I called her (due to not knowing when I'd get to hang out with her again and I also had a burst of courage) and left a voicemail saying I liked her and wanted to know if she wanted to go out. The result? Ghosted for 2 months, and then 3 months of talking with her again while she pretended nothing happened to then only 2 months later reveal she just didn't know how to say she doesn't feel the same without hurting my feelings. So, tough few months. It was 3 years ago so I'm fine, I just wanted to share my story and say, no just cause they show some of the signs they might just be a flirty person. I hope you all have a great day.
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My first crush was a girl who would always walk up and talk to me and sometimes would walk up and hug me, and then start talking. We would talk on the phone, in person and through texting. She was fun and cool which made me nervous. I also made the mistake of telling my parents about this. This led to them telling me she obviously likes you too. I had family members from other states suddenly knowing about this and telling me to go for it. So I went for it. I called her (due to not knowing when I'd get to hang out with her again and I also had a burst of courage) and left a voicemail saying I liked her and wanted to know if she wanted to go out. The result? Ghosted for 2 months, and then 3 months of talking with her again while she pretended nothing happened to then only 2 months later reveal she just didn't know how to say she doesn't feel the same without hurting my feelings. So, tough few months. It was 3 years ago so I'm fine, I just wanted to share my story and say, no just cause they show some of the signs they might just be a flirty person. I hope you all have a great day.
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kuromi
before reading, please be aware, that this might trigger you if you deal with childhood trauma, like parental neglect or so.
I remember once getting a rlly nice compliment from someone and I was really really happy since I get rarely any compliments for my appearance. I figured that I'll repeat a grade, so it kinda lifted my mood and stuff but after I told my classmate, 3 other boys just said they were glad I was no longer their classmate because apperantly I am ugly, short, dumb, and weird. I cried at least 3 hours in total about it, since not only it hurted, my parents told me the EXACT same, uninvited me to every event and holidays they planned for the summer and said I will need to get a part or even full time job because I am too dumb and I will drop out if school anyway. Worst part of this story? It happened yesterday. All of this. It's so overwhelming.
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before reading, please be aware, that this might trigger you if you deal with childhood trauma, like parental neglect or so.
I remember once getting a rlly nice compliment from someone and I was really really happy since I get rarely any compliments for my appearance. I figured that I'll repeat a grade, so it kinda lifted my mood and stuff but after I told my classmate, 3 other boys just said they were glad I was no longer their classmate because apperantly I am ugly, short, dumb, and weird. I cried at least 3 hours in total about it, since not only it hurted, my parents told me the EXACT same, uninvited me to every event and holidays they planned for the summer and said I will need to get a part or even full time job because I am too dumb and I will drop out if school anyway. Worst part of this story? It happened yesterday. All of this. It's so overwhelming.
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Mikeroconsole
I really like this list. Actually, I have an interesting scenario and its kinda confusing. So, this girl I like will sometimes initiate convos, sometimes not, mostly in person. We were talking one day about how boring our lives are (#relatable) and we asked each other what we like to do. I told her I like fishing sometimes and out of nowhere she suggests we go fishing sometime in the coming weeks. But she also said she wants to bring her brother. Idk if its because she just thinks of me as a friend or if shes scared or if she genuinely wants me to meet him. But I asked her one time if she was serious about the offer or if she was just joking, she said she was serious followed by something like youre cool as hell. I have no idea what to think and if anyone could give me some suggestions (I will block trolls and mean people, that would be much appreciated.
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I really like this list. Actually, I have an interesting scenario and its kinda confusing. So, this girl I like will sometimes initiate convos, sometimes not, mostly in person. We were talking one day about how boring our lives are (#relatable) and we asked each other what we like to do. I told her I like fishing sometimes and out of nowhere she suggests we go fishing sometime in the coming weeks. But she also said she wants to bring her brother. Idk if its because she just thinks of me as a friend or if shes scared or if she genuinely wants me to meet him. But I asked her one time if she was serious about the offer or if she was just joking, she said she was serious followed by something like youre cool as hell. I have no idea what to think and if anyone could give me some suggestions (I will block trolls and mean people, that would be much appreciated.
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zoo
after watching this video, it made me realise this guy i was talking to months ago was like halfway between being friendly and flirting. i have always been pretty oblivious to flirting so i passed it off as nothing, but we hung out together alone and it ended up more like a date and i was still so oblivious so i literally was so awkward and even friendzoned him and acted so embarrassing. we never had another date, which is okay because he was a nice guy but i wasnt really romantically attracted to him looking back on it. but yeah, basically just try to be yourself if you are ever in the same situation because basically i let my doubts get in the way which caused me to act out and kind of ruin our connection if there even was one
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after watching this video, it made me realise this guy i was talking to months ago was like halfway between being friendly and flirting. i have always been pretty oblivious to flirting so i passed it off as nothing, but we hung out together alone and it ended up more like a date and i was still so oblivious so i literally was so awkward and even friendzoned him and acted so embarrassing. we never had another date, which is okay because he was a nice guy but i wasnt really romantically attracted to him looking back on it. but yeah, basically just try to be yourself if you are ever in the same situation because basically i let my doubts get in the way which caused me to act out and kind of ruin our connection if there even was one
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Cynical
The most common perspective about politeness and flirtation is that, Being polite is so obscure that people confuse it for flirting. Im of the school of thought that thinks that, being polite is in abundance so much so that its confused with flirting and vice versa. Or better yet, politeness and flirtation are never truly separate phenomenons because we typically expect that someone who is being flirtatious with us is also being polite. After all, two things can be true at the same time and thats why its important to use discernment and have the courage to ask for clarity about the nature of your interpersonal relationship.
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The most common perspective about politeness and flirtation is that, Being polite is so obscure that people confuse it for flirting. Im of the school of thought that thinks that, being polite is in abundance so much so that its confused with flirting and vice versa. Or better yet, politeness and flirtation are never truly separate phenomenons because we typically expect that someone who is being flirtatious with us is also being polite. After all, two things can be true at the same time and thats why its important to use discernment and have the courage to ask for clarity about the nature of your interpersonal relationship.
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Dominia
Idk about number 7? Idk if my guy is busy but we have normal conversation ish, its like a regular conversation but in a span of 2-3 weeks, he replies 1-2 times a day and disappears and I reply back and he just replies the next day. I dont think our conversation ends cus he disappears and continues it the next day
(he is in uni and I am in a plc course, I probably have more free time than him cus he does extracurricular activities and idk when his school ends, we only chat online cus we live a bit far from each other and only meet on certain mutual event activities)
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Idk about number 7? Idk if my guy is busy but we have normal conversation ish, its like a regular conversation but in a span of 2-3 weeks, he replies 1-2 times a day and disappears and I reply back and he just replies the next day. I dont think our conversation ends cus he disappears and continues it the next day
(he is in uni and I am in a plc course, I probably have more free time than him cus he does extracurricular activities and idk when his school ends, we only chat online cus we live a bit far from each other and only meet on certain mutual event activities)
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Evil_Laugh_HuTao
I remember in high school, my crush during class came all the way from different side of class to my side and sat next to my column but in same row, so it was like right next to me,
(As you know anyone would notice this if this is your favorite person )
Then she like started to ask me somethin unpredictable and completely out of the topic of the class ( like you know people only ask you things of topic of class )
I answered things but like freaking out.
She was being nice to me.
xD
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I remember in high school, my crush during class came all the way from different side of class to my side and sat next to my column but in same row, so it was like right next to me,
(As you know anyone would notice this if this is your favorite person )
Then she like started to ask me somethin unpredictable and completely out of the topic of the class ( like you know people only ask you things of topic of class )
I answered things but like freaking out.
She was being nice to me.
xD
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Audrey
1. Yes they seem nice to others as well, thats a good trait tho?
2. They initiate, albeit less than me.
3. They do hang out with me alone.
4. Yes but I am also the one keeping physical distance.
5. Yes, but again goes both ways.
6. They open up a fair bit about problems in their life, more than me actually.
7. Conversations end once one of us has something important to do.
8. Never.
This doesnt help.
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1. Yes they seem nice to others as well, thats a good trait tho?
2. They initiate, albeit less than me.
3. They do hang out with me alone.
4. Yes but I am also the one keeping physical distance.
5. Yes, but again goes both ways.
6. They open up a fair bit about problems in their life, more than me actually.
7. Conversations end once one of us has something important to do.
8. Never.
This doesnt help.
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minty
I'm kinda guilty of this. I'm a pretty bubbly person and I love hugs, so if you ask for a hug I'd probably give one to you whether I know you or not. This is actually how one of my guy friends ended up catching feelings for me. He said he felt special because I ran up to him whenever I saw him and gave him a hug. That's really just how I am, and I treat most of my friends the same way so it makes me feel bad.
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I'm kinda guilty of this. I'm a pretty bubbly person and I love hugs, so if you ask for a hug I'd probably give one to you whether I know you or not. This is actually how one of my guy friends ended up catching feelings for me. He said he felt special because I ran up to him whenever I saw him and gave him a hug. That's really just how I am, and I treat most of my friends the same way so it makes me feel bad.
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IAMTHATIAM
I've been going through this all of my life. People, women especially always think my kindness or friendliness is flirtatious. IAM a natural kind natured person. Idk. I don't cross physical boundaries. However, I realize now that it isn't my problem what people think. We should all get to know people before assuming what a person actually is.
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I've been going through this all of my life. People, women especially always think my kindness or friendliness is flirtatious. IAM a natural kind natured person. Idk. I don't cross physical boundaries. However, I realize now that it isn't my problem what people think. We should all get to know people before assuming what a person actually is.
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Densetsu
- She's nice to everyone (But that's a good trait)
- We only see each other at school or over text
- She usually saves me a seat next to her or sits next to me
- She initiates conversation
- We never hang out alone
- She talks to me about problems she has
In conclusion, I might be overthinking this
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- She's nice to everyone (But that's a good trait)
- We only see each other at school or over text
- She usually saves me a seat next to her or sits next to me
- She initiates conversation
- We never hang out alone
- She talks to me about problems she has
In conclusion, I might be overthinking this
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Ivy
But I flirt when I'm being nice, and that doesn't necessarily mean I have any romantic interest in the one I'm directing the flirting at. Although I don't do this with everyone, it's just a way to establish a relaxed atmosphere with those I consider myself close to and, in part, just me being me.
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But I flirt when I'm being nice, and that doesn't necessarily mean I have any romantic interest in the one I'm directing the flirting at. Although I don't do this with everyone, it's just a way to establish a relaxed atmosphere with those I consider myself close to and, in part, just me being me.
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Ivana
Love this video, really! It made me realize that I am pretty bad in deciding whether somebody likes me: /. Also, I have recognized myself not keeping these points often, even if I hadn't considered wanting to be anything more than friend before. Strange, isn't it?
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Love this video, really! It made me realize that I am pretty bad in deciding whether somebody likes me: /. Also, I have recognized myself not keeping these points often, even if I hadn't considered wanting to be anything more than friend before. Strange, isn't it?
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Sophie
Im so bad at reading signs if someone likes me I dismiss it due to low confidence and sabotaging myself. I look back on a recent event where I thought someone liked me, all the signs were there now he wont look or talk to me. Another missed opportunity.
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Im so bad at reading signs if someone likes me I dismiss it due to low confidence and sabotaging myself. I look back on a recent event where I thought someone liked me, all the signs were there now he wont look or talk to me. Another missed opportunity.
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Rocking
About talking about other people they like. Some people and your other videos has mentioned that previously saying to see your reaction to it and its a test to see how you react. So how are you saying its a friend zone.
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About talking about other people they like. Some people and your other videos has mentioned that previously saying to see your reaction to it and its a test to see how you react. So how are you saying its a friend zone.
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Valkyrie3420
My friend that I have a crush on is nice to everyone, but istg I have never caught them give hugs to anyone else but me for some reason- the most I've seen them do is sling an arm over someone's shoulder.
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My friend that I have a crush on is nice to everyone, but istg I have never caught them give hugs to anyone else but me for some reason- the most I've seen them do is sling an arm over someone's shoulder.
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Jan
I've been jearpodising the strong friendship to a female coworker, because I mistook everything. That was 3 weeks ago and we both have been on vacation since and I'm wondering how it will go on after next week.
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I've been jearpodising the strong friendship to a female coworker, because I mistook everything. That was 3 weeks ago and we both have been on vacation since and I'm wondering how it will go on after next week.
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Nameless
Goodness, did I need this one. I'm kinda paranoid everyone is flirting with me honestly, because I've had too many people that liked or flirted with me, reciprocated and completely unwanted.
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Goodness, did I need this one. I'm kinda paranoid everyone is flirting with me honestly, because I've had too many people that liked or flirted with me, reciprocated and completely unwanted.
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Anders
Lol not a single sane woman in this World Will be flirting with me. Then again its for the Better, No woman should ever waste their time on a sick second degree excuse for a human like me.
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Lol not a single sane woman in this World Will be flirting with me. Then again its for the Better, No woman should ever waste their time on a sick second degree excuse for a human like me.
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Ashley
For me:
1. He is nice to everyone, it's just how he is: D
2. He does initiate but is very forgetful, so I remind him.
3. It was just the two of us plenty of times
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For me:
1. He is nice to everyone, it's just how he is: D
2. He does initiate but is very forgetful, so I remind him.
3. It was just the two of us plenty of times
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Ri_
This actually helps a lot bc I was not sure if my crush was flirting or just being nice but now I know but Im kinda sad cuz I was just being nice all the times to him
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This actually helps a lot bc I was not sure if my crush was flirting or just being nice but now I know but Im kinda sad cuz I was just being nice all the times to him
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Gattsu
This video just made me more confused. Half of these match with my situation and the other half are polar opposites to it. Well it still helped me a bit at least.
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This video just made me more confused. Half of these match with my situation and the other half are polar opposites to it. Well it still helped me a bit at least.
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Nova
STOP STOP STOP
the guy i like seems to be getting more and more into me. so i pressed this video and he literally does NONE of these things. its terrifying
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STOP STOP STOP
the guy i like seems to be getting more and more into me. so i pressed this video and he literally does NONE of these things. its terrifying
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theluschmaster
Gosh, I can't wait to share this video with people so that they understand I am just being friendly. Honestly, I don't think I am ever flirting
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Gosh, I can't wait to share this video with people so that they understand I am just being friendly. Honestly, I don't think I am ever flirting
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