4 Parenting Styles and Their Effects On You
video description
as i grew up i was the opposite of just doing something reckless, i am impulsive at times though, ofc the always afraid of stating what you feel, the don't know what to do at times because wasn't teached.
mostly it's the uninvolved parenting of my father, that affected me a lot. made me question my worth, hated this household, wishin i was d3d, wasn't straightforward. anyways even though they're like this, i try to be better version of myself and just live differently than what im used to. :)
Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 24
KeiyaValecourt
As a parent reading these comments, it seems that work is a huge contributor to a persons parenting style. I would consider myself authoritative but I admit sometimes I fall into an autopilot mode of authoritarian (not including physical discipline) more so for fear of being too permissive or just being stressed out/overwhelmed from work and needing my own time but not being able to get it. I try to apologize if I notice myself being too cold and scale it back. However, its hard to balance it all and ensure that youre not damaging your kid by setting too many rules or being too permissive and not being respected or having a child who has no boundarieswhile also trying to heal your own childhood trauma and not do autopilot parenting like the generations before you
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As a parent reading these comments, it seems that work is a huge contributor to a persons parenting style. I would consider myself authoritative but I admit sometimes I fall into an autopilot mode of authoritarian (not including physical discipline) more so for fear of being too permissive or just being stressed out/overwhelmed from work and needing my own time but not being able to get it. I try to apologize if I notice myself being too cold and scale it back. However, its hard to balance it all and ensure that youre not damaging your kid by setting too many rules or being too permissive and not being respected or having a child who has no boundarieswhile also trying to heal your own childhood trauma and not do autopilot parenting like the generations before you
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Loreal
Isnt it interesting how some of the more enlightened persons strive so hard to not be like our parents, and then some just simply turn out to be a carbon copy.
I knew as a young teenager I didnt want to be much like my Mother. There were aspects about her personality I disliked. Im curious to know if this was simply a more gravitational pull towards my birth father. My parents were separated when I was 1-yr old and I had a weekend daddy. My stepfather was more authoritarian and my birth father was more permissive. My mother just went along to get along. Im fascinated how all three of my caregivers shaped my personality and I loved all of them.
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Isnt it interesting how some of the more enlightened persons strive so hard to not be like our parents, and then some just simply turn out to be a carbon copy.
I knew as a young teenager I didnt want to be much like my Mother. There were aspects about her personality I disliked. Im curious to know if this was simply a more gravitational pull towards my birth father. My parents were separated when I was 1-yr old and I had a weekend daddy. My stepfather was more authoritarian and my birth father was more permissive. My mother just went along to get along. Im fascinated how all three of my caregivers shaped my personality and I loved all of them.
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Invader
My mom has an uninvovled parenting style and my dad is a mix of authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. He jokes around a lot and his intentions and true feelings are high control and high warmth, but he has a lot of strict rules and he gets mad for them being disobeyed or not done correctly. And as punishment, he usually resorts to yelling and threats.
To make matters worse, Im a sensitive person and a people pleaser so I'm constantly filled with doubt and remorse to the point where I sometimes struggle to figure out the difference between right and wrong. I don't know what to do anymore.
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My mom has an uninvovled parenting style and my dad is a mix of authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. He jokes around a lot and his intentions and true feelings are high control and high warmth, but he has a lot of strict rules and he gets mad for them being disobeyed or not done correctly. And as punishment, he usually resorts to yelling and threats.
To make matters worse, Im a sensitive person and a people pleaser so I'm constantly filled with doubt and remorse to the point where I sometimes struggle to figure out the difference between right and wrong. I don't know what to do anymore.
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phantomoria
I heard that there is also a rarely talked about fifth type of parenting. I don't exacly remember what it's called but something close to over-present/over-controlling. Parents who use this type of parenting want to be present in every aspect of their child's life. They usually want to know, control, hear and see everything. Children mostly have little to no privacy and are like birds in a cage.
I feel like this is a very interesting topic but rarely talked about. Feel free to express your knowledge, experience etc. under this comment.
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I heard that there is also a rarely talked about fifth type of parenting. I don't exacly remember what it's called but something close to over-present/over-controlling. Parents who use this type of parenting want to be present in every aspect of their child's life. They usually want to know, control, hear and see everything. Children mostly have little to no privacy and are like birds in a cage.
I feel like this is a very interesting topic but rarely talked about. Feel free to express your knowledge, experience etc. under this comment.
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Gay
For me I feel like my parents are uninvolved and authoritative because I know my parents care for me but they show that they care for me in a strict way and it really affects me because anything I do they always get mad at me but don't tell me why they just get mad. They either say WHY DID U DO THAT? STOP UR GONNA HURT UR SELF WHATS WRONG WITH U and I really do wish they would be more nice because I'm always scared to make friends with people or make them mad because I'm scared that they will react like my parents
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For me I feel like my parents are uninvolved and authoritative because I know my parents care for me but they show that they care for me in a strict way and it really affects me because anything I do they always get mad at me but don't tell me why they just get mad. They either say WHY DID U DO THAT? STOP UR GONNA HURT UR SELF WHATS WRONG WITH U and I really do wish they would be more nice because I'm always scared to make friends with people or make them mad because I'm scared that they will react like my parents
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Violet_-Kf
My dad, because my mom chose not to be in my life, has been a lot of things. in my first 3 years he was abusive and and didnt ever pay attention to me from what ive been told. Then i grew to be 5-9 and he was really controlling and yelled at me over little things. But after that he started to be more loving and only yells at me from time to time. He accepts my style, i can joke around with him, i can watch almost whatever with him, he doesnt give lectures over nothing etc. im glad my dad got better tbh
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My dad, because my mom chose not to be in my life, has been a lot of things. in my first 3 years he was abusive and and didnt ever pay attention to me from what ive been told. Then i grew to be 5-9 and he was really controlling and yelled at me over little things. But after that he started to be more loving and only yells at me from time to time. He accepts my style, i can joke around with him, i can watch almost whatever with him, he doesnt give lectures over nothing etc. im glad my dad got better tbh
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psych2go
I think my father is the authoritan and my mother the uninvolved its funny how sometimes my dad acts like he cares about my feelings then proceeds to makes jokes out of them or tells me that Im over reacting and then randomly repeat how ungrateful I am, while my mother when I talk to her about my feelings she start to make it about her, at least my dad kinda puts an effort while my mother doesnt even try
Ps. Sorry for the random vent but I have no where else to tell this
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I think my father is the authoritan and my mother the uninvolved its funny how sometimes my dad acts like he cares about my feelings then proceeds to makes jokes out of them or tells me that Im over reacting and then randomly repeat how ungrateful I am, while my mother when I talk to her about my feelings she start to make it about her, at least my dad kinda puts an effort while my mother doesnt even try
Ps. Sorry for the random vent but I have no where else to tell this
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education
My parents were uninvolved and permissive. My father was unpredictable he would sometimes be very kind but would also at times ignore me and my brother. My mother was always paying attention to my brother and would show warmth randomly, and only when she wasnt busy. I grew up by myself. They didnt raise me, I did. I blocked out the bad parts of their parenting and saw them as great parents because of their infrequent affections. Im done. I see them for who they are now.
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My parents were uninvolved and permissive. My father was unpredictable he would sometimes be very kind but would also at times ignore me and my brother. My mother was always paying attention to my brother and would show warmth randomly, and only when she wasnt busy. I grew up by myself. They didnt raise me, I did. I blocked out the bad parts of their parenting and saw them as great parents because of their infrequent affections. Im done. I see them for who they are now.
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Plz
What I've seen is kids with controlling parents also often end up out of control by the time they finally get control over their life's. Because they were never taught how to safely make their own decisions, think about their decision and how those might effect themselves and others. Because well, they were never taught to make decisions. And now they have no one to give them advice and guidance. They just have freedom. And they have no idea how to deal with that.
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What I've seen is kids with controlling parents also often end up out of control by the time they finally get control over their life's. Because they were never taught how to safely make their own decisions, think about their decision and how those might effect themselves and others. Because well, they were never taught to make decisions. And now they have no one to give them advice and guidance. They just have freedom. And they have no idea how to deal with that.
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sylv
My parents were Authoritarian and Permissive at first. I don't know how it worked. It was like they permitted me to play but they didn't. They would be very violent but also affectionate. I grew up not knowing how to socialize when I was with my peers. After my parents divorced, I lived with my mother. She is usually very loving but would snap at the most random times. Idk I think I need a therapist to properly explain what I feel.
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My parents were Authoritarian and Permissive at first. I don't know how it worked. It was like they permitted me to play but they didn't. They would be very violent but also affectionate. I grew up not knowing how to socialize when I was with my peers. After my parents divorced, I lived with my mother. She is usually very loving but would snap at the most random times. Idk I think I need a therapist to properly explain what I feel.
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Isis
My parents are kinda of a funny mix. i mean, if you look at us from afar, they are definitely warm and still have fair rules about them. But it would be okay if those rules were only house rules or smt. thing is, they have strict moral and religious rules they treat as essential. And, plus, if you break one of those, they (mainly my dad) turn to violent behavior, not commonly on me, but. Let's just say it's scary
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My parents are kinda of a funny mix. i mean, if you look at us from afar, they are definitely warm and still have fair rules about them. But it would be okay if those rules were only house rules or smt. thing is, they have strict moral and religious rules they treat as essential. And, plus, if you break one of those, they (mainly my dad) turn to violent behavior, not commonly on me, but. Let's just say it's scary
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ikevin
my dad was broken, his father was a tyrant. he found a wife and had children, and he was happy for as much he was capable of being happy, untill his wife, my mother was murdered, and he fell in a deep hole looking for the culprit, he is still kind of desperately looking. needles to say, i did not have a nice childhood. but its a bit harsh to blame him, also. its a bad start. not reason for a bad life
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my dad was broken, his father was a tyrant. he found a wife and had children, and he was happy for as much he was capable of being happy, untill his wife, my mother was murdered, and he fell in a deep hole looking for the culprit, he is still kind of desperately looking. needles to say, i did not have a nice childhood. but its a bit harsh to blame him, also. its a bad start. not reason for a bad life
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Lord
Somewhere between Authoritative and authoritarian. There was lots of love, but there was a tendency to treat me is if the choices I made would always be terrible. There was no faith in my ability or in my independence. So even now I struggle to make choices and tend to look to friends and partners to make choices for me. I'm trying to stop that now but it's hard
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Somewhere between Authoritative and authoritarian. There was lots of love, but there was a tendency to treat me is if the choices I made would always be terrible. There was no faith in my ability or in my independence. So even now I struggle to make choices and tend to look to friends and partners to make choices for me. I'm trying to stop that now but it's hard
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Nocofella
My mother was permissive but was the bad cop when it came to any kind of discipline, my father was a generous authoritarian that was extremly tough on me & my sister but made sure we had the greatest childhood & transition into adulthood with all of our pitfalls through the years.
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My mother was permissive but was the bad cop when it came to any kind of discipline, my father was a generous authoritarian that was extremly tough on me & my sister but made sure we had the greatest childhood & transition into adulthood with all of our pitfalls through the years.
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Itsthatmuffin
Controlling my parents are the Very strict parents
Now yes parents have the right to control their kids if they are under 18
But when a child turn 18 (ik 18 your not actually an adult) some parents need to stop controlling their children and making decisions for them
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Controlling my parents are the Very strict parents
Now yes parents have the right to control their kids if they are under 18
But when a child turn 18 (ik 18 your not actually an adult) some parents need to stop controlling their children and making decisions for them
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Nity
i dont know if it's possible for parents to change their ways of parenting because after watching this video i realized that when im 4 to 6 year old my parents are a authoritarian but when im 7 they suddenly became authoritative until my teenage days. is this possible?
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i dont know if it's possible for parents to change their ways of parenting because after watching this video i realized that when im 4 to 6 year old my parents are a authoritarian but when im 7 they suddenly became authoritative until my teenage days. is this possible?
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clo
I don't have plans to become a parent, but if I do, I've always told myself that I'll make a healthy balance between warmth and control. Having two parents that are on opposite ends but don't know a balance between the two has been very hard for me
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I don't have plans to become a parent, but if I do, I've always told myself that I'll make a healthy balance between warmth and control. Having two parents that are on opposite ends but don't know a balance between the two has been very hard for me
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Titanicahedron
I would say that I was more permissively parented. I never got into drinking or alcohol. And I dont really like the idea of me pursuing higher education, but is having a motivation for higher education really a requirement in any way?
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I would say that I was more permissively parented. I never got into drinking or alcohol. And I dont really like the idea of me pursuing higher education, but is having a motivation for higher education really a requirement in any way?
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Chris
My Father was definitely uninvolved. He was a roommate who payed the bills, we talked about movies which was our only common interest but it never went deeper than that. My Mother was a mix of all four because she was mentally ill herself.
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My Father was definitely uninvolved. He was a roommate who payed the bills, we talked about movies which was our only common interest but it never went deeper than that. My Mother was a mix of all four because she was mentally ill herself.
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phil
Both parents were authoritarian and they were very abusive(verbally and physically. It's true about when I turn into an adult I lack self esteem. The messed up part is my parents don't see the damage they caused and how it affects me today
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Both parents were authoritarian and they were very abusive(verbally and physically. It's true about when I turn into an adult I lack self esteem. The messed up part is my parents don't see the damage they caused and how it affects me today
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RocketVet
My parents went back and forth between Authoritarian and Uninvolved. With when you had attention it was mainly because Dad was angry about something or preemptively angry about what I was going to probably do or probably screw up.
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My parents went back and forth between Authoritarian and Uninvolved. With when you had attention it was mainly because Dad was angry about something or preemptively angry about what I was going to probably do or probably screw up.
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xXMolty_DrmXx
I have two fathers with different parenting styles.
The one I live with is more authoritative while the one I dont is more authoritarian, so I have to deal with the stress of two different parenting styles.
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I have two fathers with different parenting styles.
The one I live with is more authoritative while the one I dont is more authoritarian, so I have to deal with the stress of two different parenting styles.
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StrangeoSyndro
Moral of the story balance is key and remember, we can't be authoritative all the time it depends on a person to person basis and is more fluid than Belsky let's on but he makes some damn good observations.
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Moral of the story balance is key and remember, we can't be authoritative all the time it depends on a person to person basis and is more fluid than Belsky let's on but he makes some damn good observations.
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Gahala
My mom is an authoritative parent while my dad is authoritarian. It's exhausting, and I always end up always scared of my dad to the point that when he's angry, I couldn't breath and feel like I am on a chokehold.
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My mom is an authoritative parent while my dad is authoritarian. It's exhausting, and I always end up always scared of my dad to the point that when he's angry, I couldn't breath and feel like I am on a chokehold.
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