How Childhood Trauma May Affect Your Love Choice
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
DJ
This has been so powerful and upsetting. I have suffered a lot of trauma in my childhood and growing up. I was been bullied at school, I was slapped on the hand by a primary school teacher and it was an autism friendly primary school, at secondary school I was called a Batty Man at random because being happy was considered Gay which I couldnt understand. People would pick on me and beat me up at random for no reason. I never discussed my childhood as much as I felt like it was nothing to me.
I have also suffered disability discrimination up to now in the 21st Century which I have to just learn to live with as for me its considered normal and acceptable. I have suffered from racism, colourism, ignorance and prejudice and people being nasty to me for no reason during my time at drama school and throughout my life.
Every time when I try and speak up and tell someone I was being treated unfairly, I am being told its in my head and I am wrong. Its not just at drama school but in my other jobs as well, I dont have a voice. My opinions doesnt matter. I feel violated and my civil rights were violated.
I had people too afraid to be inclusive with me in a positive way and that is still happening now, They felt like I was the problem. when I try to strike up a conversation with people and being friendly the mood and atmosphere changes quickly its like have a conversation is not normal being fake and insecure is considered correct and the way to communicate, and people who dont do that theyre considered weirdos or freaks. This has happened so many times during, social events, family events, work, family members, classes. I did this because I wanted to fit in and be part of atmosphere and the people, but it backfired on me.
It happens almost all the time this is why I find it so hard to stay strong and positive when I meet new people in different places because I feel it will automatically happen again after so many times.
It was after the death of George Floyd, which started off the black lives matter movement, all of these traumatic memories of my childhood came to life. Its really traumatised me and haunted me
I experience a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness and depression.
since I left drama school, I managed to find work, I have been able to be myself more, I dont fit in the crowd, I focus on myself. I feel slightly more happy.
Its been a year since I left social media and I dont regret it AT ALL. Best decision I ever made.
Despite all I have been through, its still hard for me, but I am still staying strong and resilient as much as possible.
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This has been so powerful and upsetting. I have suffered a lot of trauma in my childhood and growing up. I was been bullied at school, I was slapped on the hand by a primary school teacher and it was an autism friendly primary school, at secondary school I was called a Batty Man at random because being happy was considered Gay which I couldnt understand. People would pick on me and beat me up at random for no reason. I never discussed my childhood as much as I felt like it was nothing to me.
I have also suffered disability discrimination up to now in the 21st Century which I have to just learn to live with as for me its considered normal and acceptable. I have suffered from racism, colourism, ignorance and prejudice and people being nasty to me for no reason during my time at drama school and throughout my life.
Every time when I try and speak up and tell someone I was being treated unfairly, I am being told its in my head and I am wrong. Its not just at drama school but in my other jobs as well, I dont have a voice. My opinions doesnt matter. I feel violated and my civil rights were violated.
I had people too afraid to be inclusive with me in a positive way and that is still happening now, They felt like I was the problem. when I try to strike up a conversation with people and being friendly the mood and atmosphere changes quickly its like have a conversation is not normal being fake and insecure is considered correct and the way to communicate, and people who dont do that theyre considered weirdos or freaks. This has happened so many times during, social events, family events, work, family members, classes. I did this because I wanted to fit in and be part of atmosphere and the people, but it backfired on me.
It happens almost all the time this is why I find it so hard to stay strong and positive when I meet new people in different places because I feel it will automatically happen again after so many times.
It was after the death of George Floyd, which started off the black lives matter movement, all of these traumatic memories of my childhood came to life. Its really traumatised me and haunted me
I experience a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, loneliness and depression.
since I left drama school, I managed to find work, I have been able to be myself more, I dont fit in the crowd, I focus on myself. I feel slightly more happy.
Its been a year since I left social media and I dont regret it AT ALL. Best decision I ever made.
Despite all I have been through, its still hard for me, but I am still staying strong and resilient as much as possible.
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Lindy
Self compassion and self acceptance would be wonderful. But they are not easily attainable.
I try over and over again to give myself some understanding and compassion but the ugly emotional scars of early childhood trauma keep coming back.
They are very powerful.
I am not going to give up, but it continues to be difficult to change these self detrimental negative thoughts and emotions. even the self hatred.
As an example when a baby in a crib, my older brother would bite me till I had black and blue marks all over my body.
(I do not remember this at all, but my mother told me about it years later. I have no idea why my parents didn't stop this from happening. but it happened.
Now, and because of other trauma I went through in childhood I do struggle with deep seated rage and feel many times unable to communicate today when I am extremely angry or frustrated. Not, that I am unwilling to do so. I just have no one who cares to listen. I ended up marrying a narcissist who never listens to (or cares about) my emotional needs or my need to be heard.
That leaves me terribly angry and frustrated. So, I have no one to turn my anger to. only myself.
That's when I start blaming myself for everything and feel so angry that I can't do anything right. I turn all the anger and frustration onto myself.
Crazy, but, when the self anger and utter frustration (of having no one to care to listen to what I need to express verbally. when this overwhelming anger and frustration gets too intense, I bite myself hard. even drawing blood sometimes.
From a psychological perspective, is that because somewhere in my subconscious I remember being bitten all those times as a baby? And now I do the same thing to myself when I get so angry?
Some people believe that those who cut or injure themselves do so to either feel something or to take their mind off their emotional pain.
For me, I do it out of anger and frustration (when I don't get to express my feelings or needs to anyone who gives a darn.
That makes me very frustrated and angry, so I have no one else to turn the anger and frustration against, except myself.
Anger and frustration can be powerful emotions, but, I am still trying to battle against these emotions and the self hatred.
It isn't easy!
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Self compassion and self acceptance would be wonderful. But they are not easily attainable.
I try over and over again to give myself some understanding and compassion but the ugly emotional scars of early childhood trauma keep coming back.
They are very powerful.
I am not going to give up, but it continues to be difficult to change these self detrimental negative thoughts and emotions. even the self hatred.
As an example when a baby in a crib, my older brother would bite me till I had black and blue marks all over my body.
(I do not remember this at all, but my mother told me about it years later. I have no idea why my parents didn't stop this from happening. but it happened.
Now, and because of other trauma I went through in childhood I do struggle with deep seated rage and feel many times unable to communicate today when I am extremely angry or frustrated. Not, that I am unwilling to do so. I just have no one who cares to listen. I ended up marrying a narcissist who never listens to (or cares about) my emotional needs or my need to be heard.
That leaves me terribly angry and frustrated. So, I have no one to turn my anger to. only myself.
That's when I start blaming myself for everything and feel so angry that I can't do anything right. I turn all the anger and frustration onto myself.
Crazy, but, when the self anger and utter frustration (of having no one to care to listen to what I need to express verbally. when this overwhelming anger and frustration gets too intense, I bite myself hard. even drawing blood sometimes.
From a psychological perspective, is that because somewhere in my subconscious I remember being bitten all those times as a baby? And now I do the same thing to myself when I get so angry?
Some people believe that those who cut or injure themselves do so to either feel something or to take their mind off their emotional pain.
For me, I do it out of anger and frustration (when I don't get to express my feelings or needs to anyone who gives a darn.
That makes me very frustrated and angry, so I have no one else to turn the anger and frustration against, except myself.
Anger and frustration can be powerful emotions, but, I am still trying to battle against these emotions and the self hatred.
It isn't easy!
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Nihilista
The woman I love had many difficult moments as a child, traumas and abuse, dragged down by her own family, friends and events that collided in her life, it has been 3 years since she opened up to me and I began to know about these events that for years they have tormented her (there are some facts that I don't know and that I wish she would like to share them with me little by little so as not to be invasive, I love her very much and it hurts me too not to know how to help her at times, it is difficult for her to express herself and talk about certain topics, for a while it was difficult for me to understand her, but with these videos you have given me so much light in my head to better understand what she has gone through and suffered without the need to bother her (it is difficult for her to speak about some events for obvious reasons)
Thank you very much for these videos, without a doubt it is a gigantic help.
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The woman I love had many difficult moments as a child, traumas and abuse, dragged down by her own family, friends and events that collided in her life, it has been 3 years since she opened up to me and I began to know about these events that for years they have tormented her (there are some facts that I don't know and that I wish she would like to share them with me little by little so as not to be invasive, I love her very much and it hurts me too not to know how to help her at times, it is difficult for her to express herself and talk about certain topics, for a while it was difficult for me to understand her, but with these videos you have given me so much light in my head to better understand what she has gone through and suffered without the need to bother her (it is difficult for her to speak about some events for obvious reasons)
Thank you very much for these videos, without a doubt it is a gigantic help.
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effiercest
my bff said that he was getting bullied and hit by his parents on the chess class when he had an F/2 grade. I hope that wasnt true but I wasn't the only one who heard him wispering to himself the stuff that happens to him for a bad grade like an F/2 and alot of people we laughing because he is already in 3rd grade and is 9 years old, I'm older for a couple of months and if it was true I feel very bad for him since chess is his weakness and he has NEVER EVER EVER won ANY chess game in his whole LIFE! He was crying and half of the class were bullying him for crying when he is a boyand is crying, I think it's unfair that if girls are crying everyone supports and motivates and try to get the person who made the girl cry or the thing that made the girl cry as far away as possible from the girl that is crying since they think it's ''cute'' but if a boy cries people think that the crying boy is a pussy.
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my bff said that he was getting bullied and hit by his parents on the chess class when he had an F/2 grade. I hope that wasnt true but I wasn't the only one who heard him wispering to himself the stuff that happens to him for a bad grade like an F/2 and alot of people we laughing because he is already in 3rd grade and is 9 years old, I'm older for a couple of months and if it was true I feel very bad for him since chess is his weakness and he has NEVER EVER EVER won ANY chess game in his whole LIFE! He was crying and half of the class were bullying him for crying when he is a boyand is crying, I think it's unfair that if girls are crying everyone supports and motivates and try to get the person who made the girl cry or the thing that made the girl cry as far away as possible from the girl that is crying since they think it's ''cute'' but if a boy cries people think that the crying boy is a pussy.
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Some
My decision making has definitely been affected. I'm perfectly willing to put on all black clothing and ride a black bicycle with dead lights down poorly lit residential streets after dark, I'll happily venture into subzero weather with just a sweater, and I'll idly play with tools I'm fully aware are potentially dangerous, all despite knowing that these things could get me injured or worse. And attachments? I deliberately avoid forming those with people. I prefer to keep humans at arm's length, and that's with the ones I actually like, of which there are few. I'm relatively independent, and I like it that way. It's not that I don't value relationships, but I am extraordinarily picky about who I let into my life.
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My decision making has definitely been affected. I'm perfectly willing to put on all black clothing and ride a black bicycle with dead lights down poorly lit residential streets after dark, I'll happily venture into subzero weather with just a sweater, and I'll idly play with tools I'm fully aware are potentially dangerous, all despite knowing that these things could get me injured or worse. And attachments? I deliberately avoid forming those with people. I prefer to keep humans at arm's length, and that's with the ones I actually like, of which there are few. I'm relatively independent, and I like it that way. It's not that I don't value relationships, but I am extraordinarily picky about who I let into my life.
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-A
I had dealt with my childhood trauma. I dont have very good memories of my childhood but I went through whats considered complex trauma. I was able to move past my trauma and got my life together. I have a good job and make decent money. But, as soon as I went into a serious relationship, my like started to fall apart. I picked up addictions, trust issues, and just horrible coping strategies. I told my partner Id go to therapy and that started to create more tension as I worked through my past. Ive hurt my partner a lot and Im surprised shes stuck around. But, its a struggle everyday to convince myself I deserve lasting love. Its hard to love someone else when I cant seem to love myself but Im working through it
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I had dealt with my childhood trauma. I dont have very good memories of my childhood but I went through whats considered complex trauma. I was able to move past my trauma and got my life together. I have a good job and make decent money. But, as soon as I went into a serious relationship, my like started to fall apart. I picked up addictions, trust issues, and just horrible coping strategies. I told my partner Id go to therapy and that started to create more tension as I worked through my past. Ive hurt my partner a lot and Im surprised shes stuck around. But, its a struggle everyday to convince myself I deserve lasting love. Its hard to love someone else when I cant seem to love myself but Im working through it
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Afrina
It took me 28 years to figure out my mother is actually a narcissistic bully, not a protective angel. She had a traumatic childhood, she didn't even figure it out, couldn't ever heal, and gave us the worst possible childhood ever. I don't even remember if my parents spend any month without fighting and physically abusing each other. They both were emotionally distant. My dad worked, and he left home at 9. My mom cooked, and finished household chores by 12 pm, left us to a pre-teen babysitter and went to hang out with her sister. She never ever hugged or kissed us. Such a nightmare mother. I have been taking psychotherapy for 2 years now. She has destroyed my life.
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It took me 28 years to figure out my mother is actually a narcissistic bully, not a protective angel. She had a traumatic childhood, she didn't even figure it out, couldn't ever heal, and gave us the worst possible childhood ever. I don't even remember if my parents spend any month without fighting and physically abusing each other. They both were emotionally distant. My dad worked, and he left home at 9. My mom cooked, and finished household chores by 12 pm, left us to a pre-teen babysitter and went to hang out with her sister. She never ever hugged or kissed us. Such a nightmare mother. I have been taking psychotherapy for 2 years now. She has destroyed my life.
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pjr2761
My parents separated and divorced in my younger years. My mother passed away a few years ago. My sister separated and divorced from her husband. I have made a few mistakes in past relationships and has not helped. My current partner is the one I feel attached to. I want to tell her and show her that I want to care for her, but I mess up and get flustered when I try to explain my feelings to her without being to clingy or possessive.
There are days when I prefer to be on own and do my thing. Is this normal? Some of my hobbies and interests are solo. i. e. amateur astronomy, short-wave radio listening, listening to my records/cassettes/CD's, etc.
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My parents separated and divorced in my younger years. My mother passed away a few years ago. My sister separated and divorced from her husband. I have made a few mistakes in past relationships and has not helped. My current partner is the one I feel attached to. I want to tell her and show her that I want to care for her, but I mess up and get flustered when I try to explain my feelings to her without being to clingy or possessive.
There are days when I prefer to be on own and do my thing. Is this normal? Some of my hobbies and interests are solo. i. e. amateur astronomy, short-wave radio listening, listening to my records/cassettes/CD's, etc.
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nvm
I have good parents, though my dads side lies a lot. They are good parents but I live with one of my family members, p1 (parent 1) because my p2 (parent 2) lives far since they had problems, when I was young I used to talk a lot and had a lot of confidence, but that stopped when my p1 hit me and whenever I asked for help they would scream which just scared me, I lived with another family member since my p1 was really busy, they didnt understand English so I had to do a lot of work by myself, now Im just really scared to talk to people and just smile and dont talk. I get scared in big crowds and a lot of sounds, and I always keep my problems to myself.
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I have good parents, though my dads side lies a lot. They are good parents but I live with one of my family members, p1 (parent 1) because my p2 (parent 2) lives far since they had problems, when I was young I used to talk a lot and had a lot of confidence, but that stopped when my p1 hit me and whenever I asked for help they would scream which just scared me, I lived with another family member since my p1 was really busy, they didnt understand English so I had to do a lot of work by myself, now Im just really scared to talk to people and just smile and dont talk. I get scared in big crowds and a lot of sounds, and I always keep my problems to myself.
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Quin_BNK
Hey friend, do not fear compromise with people. You must be brave for yourself and those who will thank you for it in the future. You are capable of doing this, even if it is just a little bit at a time, so if there is something holding you, it is your lack of actual will to enhance your relationships. People that are worthy often listen to whatever you feel like telling and explaining and will support you as best as they can and know, and worthy people might become misunderstood due to their manners, words and your somewhat biased interpretation, so be willing to analyze them and ask them for their intentions. CHEERS
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Hey friend, do not fear compromise with people. You must be brave for yourself and those who will thank you for it in the future. You are capable of doing this, even if it is just a little bit at a time, so if there is something holding you, it is your lack of actual will to enhance your relationships. People that are worthy often listen to whatever you feel like telling and explaining and will support you as best as they can and know, and worthy people might become misunderstood due to their manners, words and your somewhat biased interpretation, so be willing to analyze them and ask them for their intentions. CHEERS
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Gene
Thank You all at Psych2Go. This resonate's with my lack of a life. The neglect, physical, injuries, and an incident so far over the boundaries of decency have and still ruin my existence. That people, even parent's, have a side to them that relates to the saying They don't give a test to see if you qualify to be a parent is in my view a statement holding children in a wounded state for far too long. To wonder at the potential that has and is being squandered for the inability of human's to realize that children are teacher's as well as student's when given the opportunity.
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Thank You all at Psych2Go. This resonate's with my lack of a life. The neglect, physical, injuries, and an incident so far over the boundaries of decency have and still ruin my existence. That people, even parent's, have a side to them that relates to the saying They don't give a test to see if you qualify to be a parent is in my view a statement holding children in a wounded state for far too long. To wonder at the potential that has and is being squandered for the inability of human's to realize that children are teacher's as well as student's when given the opportunity.
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Comrade
The hardest part about being traumatized and unable to function normally is how often people gaslight you about it and tell you to just suck it up because what you're going through is what everyone goes through and you're just weak for letting it bother you.
I'm 40 years old and only now have I decided to take the steps needed to get the help I so desperately need. It took endless trauma culminating in being abandoned by my spouse to reach this point.
Get the help you need. Don't listen to people who aren't sharing your experience.
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The hardest part about being traumatized and unable to function normally is how often people gaslight you about it and tell you to just suck it up because what you're going through is what everyone goes through and you're just weak for letting it bother you.
I'm 40 years old and only now have I decided to take the steps needed to get the help I so desperately need. It took endless trauma culminating in being abandoned by my spouse to reach this point.
Get the help you need. Don't listen to people who aren't sharing your experience.
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chaotic
As a child, I went through severe bullying at school, and would be very stressed out often. All of this, made me believe that if I was in a relationship with someone, only then I could be truly happy because I'm not capable of enjoying life on my own. That led to terrible crushes, and relationships, and even during those encounters, I still had terrible self esteem. Now, I've realised that I'm only responsible for my happiness, and I'm quite enjoying my time rn being single and giving time to myself
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As a child, I went through severe bullying at school, and would be very stressed out often. All of this, made me believe that if I was in a relationship with someone, only then I could be truly happy because I'm not capable of enjoying life on my own. That led to terrible crushes, and relationships, and even during those encounters, I still had terrible self esteem. Now, I've realised that I'm only responsible for my happiness, and I'm quite enjoying my time rn being single and giving time to myself
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The
My parents argued constantly when me and my brother were kids. One day they told us that they were getting divorced and we had to choose who we lived with. We chose to stay at the house we grew up in with my father. 2 years after the divorce, my father committed suicide, I was 14. This must be the root cause of my low self esteem and abandonment issues. I have friends but people I choose to share deep feelings with. I am starting counseling in a week, maybe this will help.
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My parents argued constantly when me and my brother were kids. One day they told us that they were getting divorced and we had to choose who we lived with. We chose to stay at the house we grew up in with my father. 2 years after the divorce, my father committed suicide, I was 14. This must be the root cause of my low self esteem and abandonment issues. I have friends but people I choose to share deep feelings with. I am starting counseling in a week, maybe this will help.
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WhiteSythle
I probably suffered a bit from unintentional neglect in my childhood (my dad was in the hospital for like 8 years or something due to illness and my mom wanted to be there with him. So it got to the point where usually it was just me and my siblings alone, taking care of ourselves. But I don't think I have to worry about it affecting my romantic relationships, since no one wants me and I will die alone anyways. So that's cool I guess.
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I probably suffered a bit from unintentional neglect in my childhood (my dad was in the hospital for like 8 years or something due to illness and my mom wanted to be there with him. So it got to the point where usually it was just me and my siblings alone, taking care of ourselves. But I don't think I have to worry about it affecting my romantic relationships, since no one wants me and I will die alone anyways. So that's cool I guess.
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Des
I never really thought about this. I always have a hard time with making decisions, my memory, and learning. The abuse that Ive dealt with as a child, has made it hard for me to live my life. Sometimes, I feel like I lost myself and cant find my true self again. Also, I can never stay in relationships because of the severe trust issues that I have. Its a 50/50. Im always biased about just anything, to be honest. Thank you for providing this!
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I never really thought about this. I always have a hard time with making decisions, my memory, and learning. The abuse that Ive dealt with as a child, has made it hard for me to live my life. Sometimes, I feel like I lost myself and cant find my true self again. Also, I can never stay in relationships because of the severe trust issues that I have. Its a 50/50. Im always biased about just anything, to be honest. Thank you for providing this!
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DV
Childhood trauma effects still take place even if it wasnt that bad. Children whose parents or people around them who fought a lot between the ages of 0-4 suffer from that.
Remember that even if your trauma wasnt that bad you may need time to heal or it may effect you as much as the majority of people with trauma.
Also dont compare trauma. Trauma is interpreted differently by every child and person even if experiences are similar.
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Childhood trauma effects still take place even if it wasnt that bad. Children whose parents or people around them who fought a lot between the ages of 0-4 suffer from that.
Remember that even if your trauma wasnt that bad you may need time to heal or it may effect you as much as the majority of people with trauma.
Also dont compare trauma. Trauma is interpreted differently by every child and person even if experiences are similar.
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Cornell
I was bullied and neglected by my mom. went to prison 7 years because no one show as i was 14 years old. now i got chronic pancreatitis because i was never taught how to cook and all my teeth are rotting as the only son outta 3 sisters that's just like herso my body is always in pain because of borderline malnutrition and waiting to go. 39years old
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I was bullied and neglected by my mom. went to prison 7 years because no one show as i was 14 years old. now i got chronic pancreatitis because i was never taught how to cook and all my teeth are rotting as the only son outta 3 sisters that's just like herso my body is always in pain because of borderline malnutrition and waiting to go. 39years old
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Hannah
So I don't know if you know the answer but I think I have childhood trauma. When I was 2 I found out I wasn't born with a hip. I had to have lost off different surgeries. I don't really remember a lot about it but I do think not being able to move for almost a year had an affect on me. I have no idea how I can heal myself from that trauma
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So I don't know if you know the answer but I think I have childhood trauma. When I was 2 I found out I wasn't born with a hip. I had to have lost off different surgeries. I don't really remember a lot about it but I do think not being able to move for almost a year had an affect on me. I have no idea how I can heal myself from that trauma
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Life
I'm going thru a lot where my mother tired to kill me she neglected me and my dad did as well now I have BPD and PTSD I finally found the man that understands me and tries to help me with my treatment I'm going thru mental health is a big thing but you can cope with it thru help
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I'm going thru a lot where my mother tired to kill me she neglected me and my dad did as well now I have BPD and PTSD I finally found the man that understands me and tries to help me with my treatment I'm going thru mental health is a big thing but you can cope with it thru help
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Lotus
As someone whos been through childhood trauma, I definitely agree that ultimately it will affect who you are and how you think as an adult. Personally, staying strong and positive about the future has helped me move forward. Sometimes, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
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As someone whos been through childhood trauma, I definitely agree that ultimately it will affect who you are and how you think as an adult. Personally, staying strong and positive about the future has helped me move forward. Sometimes, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
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Lil
In relationships what if you had a traumatizing or an abusive childhood to where you want that in your relationship like if you are abused as a kid and you see it to be okay to be abused and kinky as an adult in a relationship is that normal if not who should I seek for help
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In relationships what if you had a traumatizing or an abusive childhood to where you want that in your relationship like if you are abused as a kid and you see it to be okay to be abused and kinky as an adult in a relationship is that normal if not who should I seek for help
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Bastion
Even though I'll take every chance to ignore how I was treated by my mom, I'm scared of how I'll treat any children I might have in the future
It took decades of trying to be able to express emotions correctly, but I have figured out how to overcome that
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Even though I'll take every chance to ignore how I was treated by my mom, I'm scared of how I'll treat any children I might have in the future
It took decades of trying to be able to express emotions correctly, but I have figured out how to overcome that
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Ranrin
I'm so glad I met my 3 best friends in primary 6; they helped me recover from my trauma and I want to thank them for that. They made me realise not all men are creepy people (trauma caused me to think like that) and helped me open up to more people.
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I'm so glad I met my 3 best friends in primary 6; they helped me recover from my trauma and I want to thank them for that. They made me realise not all men are creepy people (trauma caused me to think like that) and helped me open up to more people.
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lerneanlion
At this point, the best and permanent solution is humanity's extinction. No more humans means we no longer have to suffer as humans and this is beneficial to the planet as well because we did nothing but destroying the world slowly everyday.
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At this point, the best and permanent solution is humanity's extinction. No more humans means we no longer have to suffer as humans and this is beneficial to the planet as well because we did nothing but destroying the world slowly everyday.
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