5 Signs You are Afraid of Intimacy
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Giovanna
2: 09 is the sign I can relate with the most. I had a very superficial relationship with my first boyfriend in 2018, I was 16 at the time. For 8 months our relationship was based on holding hands, hugs and pecks, until the moment he said he wanted to have something more intimate; when at that time all he wanted was being able to french kiss, nothing more than this. But as soon as he told me that, I decided to break up with him, even though he said he would wait until I was comfortable with the idea. But I was already having doubts about our relationship cause I just couldn't feel comfortable in it, and I didn't want to be in a relationship with him when not even I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't make him wait knowing he wanted to take the relationship further. I felt super bad and guilty for breaking up with him, but I thought it was the best for both of us at the time. I wasn't ready to be in a relationship and I couldn't make him wait for something that would probably never come; and all because I was afraid of being intimate with him. We're still friends nowadays, I can say he is actually one of the very few friends I have cause I can't seem to be able to make friends either. Some months ago he said he still loved me and would wait for me, I don't know if he still feels the same way now, but I felt an overwhelming pressure when he told me that. I've heard he's been crushing on another girl, but I honestly don't feel comfortable with the idea of him dating someone else. I know it sounds selfish but this is how I feel, and the truth is I've been really confused about this since we broke up, cause I can't even understand my own feelings. I don't know what I feel for him, I don't know if this is love, jealously or the feeling that I'm probably wasting an opportunity to be with someone nice that truly loves me (or loved. Sometimes I think my feelings for him have just been buried and hidden by my fear of social interaction, and it kills me just to think about it. My family still tries to convince me to get back with him and it just makes me even more confused. So yeah, this whole situation sucks, I just wish I could understand what I feel and figure out what I really want, and maybe I could sort things up with him once and for all. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read this far
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2: 09 is the sign I can relate with the most. I had a very superficial relationship with my first boyfriend in 2018, I was 16 at the time. For 8 months our relationship was based on holding hands, hugs and pecks, until the moment he said he wanted to have something more intimate; when at that time all he wanted was being able to french kiss, nothing more than this. But as soon as he told me that, I decided to break up with him, even though he said he would wait until I was comfortable with the idea. But I was already having doubts about our relationship cause I just couldn't feel comfortable in it, and I didn't want to be in a relationship with him when not even I knew what I wanted, and I couldn't make him wait knowing he wanted to take the relationship further. I felt super bad and guilty for breaking up with him, but I thought it was the best for both of us at the time. I wasn't ready to be in a relationship and I couldn't make him wait for something that would probably never come; and all because I was afraid of being intimate with him. We're still friends nowadays, I can say he is actually one of the very few friends I have cause I can't seem to be able to make friends either. Some months ago he said he still loved me and would wait for me, I don't know if he still feels the same way now, but I felt an overwhelming pressure when he told me that. I've heard he's been crushing on another girl, but I honestly don't feel comfortable with the idea of him dating someone else. I know it sounds selfish but this is how I feel, and the truth is I've been really confused about this since we broke up, cause I can't even understand my own feelings. I don't know what I feel for him, I don't know if this is love, jealously or the feeling that I'm probably wasting an opportunity to be with someone nice that truly loves me (or loved. Sometimes I think my feelings for him have just been buried and hidden by my fear of social interaction, and it kills me just to think about it. My family still tries to convince me to get back with him and it just makes me even more confused. So yeah, this whole situation sucks, I just wish I could understand what I feel and figure out what I really want, and maybe I could sort things up with him once and for all. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read this far
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Raine
as someone who is 22 and has never been in a relationship before, the upsides of being in a relationship does sound appealing, but the downsides just doesnt seem worth it to me. the problem is that it opens up pandoras box of a whole boatload of things you now have to deal with.
for one thing you immediately cant see anyone else or its considered cheating and youll be considered a douchebag just for the natural human behavior of not being interested in one sole person in your life. you have to make a bunch of compromises for your partner, and youre supposed to get into a bunch of obligitory arguments with them (even though theyre the person who supposedly loves you) and on top of all that it opens the door for the possibility of accidentally having a kid youre going to have to deal with for the next 20+ years of your life. which is something i am NOT doing.
its just, no. im not dealing with all that. ever. id rather get a cat or a platonic friend than have to deal with that
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as someone who is 22 and has never been in a relationship before, the upsides of being in a relationship does sound appealing, but the downsides just doesnt seem worth it to me. the problem is that it opens up pandoras box of a whole boatload of things you now have to deal with.
for one thing you immediately cant see anyone else or its considered cheating and youll be considered a douchebag just for the natural human behavior of not being interested in one sole person in your life. you have to make a bunch of compromises for your partner, and youre supposed to get into a bunch of obligitory arguments with them (even though theyre the person who supposedly loves you) and on top of all that it opens the door for the possibility of accidentally having a kid youre going to have to deal with for the next 20+ years of your life. which is something i am NOT doing.
its just, no. im not dealing with all that. ever. id rather get a cat or a platonic friend than have to deal with that
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Wenis
Im a very strong figure in my friend group (The strong friend whos never cried or even hugged anyone before )But in reality I hate being physical and dont like opening up to people even if its mean holding back crying or not even crying at all and holding it in. Ive only hugged my best friend 2 time out of the 4 years I have known him and thats when he needed me the most, Im not an asshole Im just scared of being seen as vulnerable or weak to others. I wanna try and do better in this year, I currently have a crush on this girl, I meet and shes basically the opposite of me (Im also a women )She very energetic, And has too much serotonin for her own good, And has cold hands
Im tired 24/7, Decently Happy, And I have warm hands according to her, Im hoping I can try and be a little more comfortable around her and then when Im ready be comfortable around certain people I know and build off of that
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Im a very strong figure in my friend group (The strong friend whos never cried or even hugged anyone before )But in reality I hate being physical and dont like opening up to people even if its mean holding back crying or not even crying at all and holding it in. Ive only hugged my best friend 2 time out of the 4 years I have known him and thats when he needed me the most, Im not an asshole Im just scared of being seen as vulnerable or weak to others. I wanna try and do better in this year, I currently have a crush on this girl, I meet and shes basically the opposite of me (Im also a women )She very energetic, And has too much serotonin for her own good, And has cold hands
Im tired 24/7, Decently Happy, And I have warm hands according to her, Im hoping I can try and be a little more comfortable around her and then when Im ready be comfortable around certain people I know and build off of that
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AK47_51
Is there a difference between intimacy and physical affection? Because well I love physical affection of most kind, however when it comes to a topic like this I find myself relating to all of these points. I have a lot of self doubt as well as being extremely protective of not only myself but if partners I may encounter and have. But what I end up seeing is that when we get to a certain point of becoming much closer I found myself feeling as if a switch clicked and suddenly my attraction, will and motivation to the relationship starts to deteriorate.
I find myself doubting if me and my past partners were even compatible with each other. Especially long term. Was I willing to put a lot of time into a relationship that may go wrong? So I found myself defaulting to just deciding early whether to continue dating or not.
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Is there a difference between intimacy and physical affection? Because well I love physical affection of most kind, however when it comes to a topic like this I find myself relating to all of these points. I have a lot of self doubt as well as being extremely protective of not only myself but if partners I may encounter and have. But what I end up seeing is that when we get to a certain point of becoming much closer I found myself feeling as if a switch clicked and suddenly my attraction, will and motivation to the relationship starts to deteriorate.
I find myself doubting if me and my past partners were even compatible with each other. Especially long term. Was I willing to put a lot of time into a relationship that may go wrong? So I found myself defaulting to just deciding early whether to continue dating or not.
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squidgame
Due to a broken family I have fear of this. My broken family made me so emotionless. I'd constantly be told to shut up, to listen and obey, to not talk back, to not cry, and they'd hit me and my siblings when ever they are fighting or mad. Now that im almost an adult I have feeling that I would never get into a relationship. It is to much to handle and im afraid of fighting with someone constantly like my parents did. I'd rather be alone I don't crave any of this stuff and I'd only hate it even more if I was forcing myself to be in a relationship.
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Due to a broken family I have fear of this. My broken family made me so emotionless. I'd constantly be told to shut up, to listen and obey, to not talk back, to not cry, and they'd hit me and my siblings when ever they are fighting or mad. Now that im almost an adult I have feeling that I would never get into a relationship. It is to much to handle and im afraid of fighting with someone constantly like my parents did. I'd rather be alone I don't crave any of this stuff and I'd only hate it even more if I was forcing myself to be in a relationship.
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Amy
I could easily project my own thoughts and feelings on the matter and disregard the reasons why so many people fear this, but to tell the truth here, it's all comes down to one choice: do you truly want to live a happy life? Depending on the person's circumstances, I understand that it may take some time. Not all human beings are terrible, though. If anything, those who say and do terrible things need to learn a thing or two about being happy within themselves.
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I could easily project my own thoughts and feelings on the matter and disregard the reasons why so many people fear this, but to tell the truth here, it's all comes down to one choice: do you truly want to live a happy life? Depending on the person's circumstances, I understand that it may take some time. Not all human beings are terrible, though. If anything, those who say and do terrible things need to learn a thing or two about being happy within themselves.
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Itza
2 years ago I was in a very toxic and traumatic relationship. Now I have found someone that cares about me but Im too afraid to open up, and I have noticed how I always push people away because I dont want to show my vulnerable side. I hate it myself. I been having flashbacks of all the things I been through. Im noticing how my personal problems are affecting my relationship so now Im trying to push him away so I can heal first and then be ready.
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2 years ago I was in a very toxic and traumatic relationship. Now I have found someone that cares about me but Im too afraid to open up, and I have noticed how I always push people away because I dont want to show my vulnerable side. I hate it myself. I been having flashbacks of all the things I been through. Im noticing how my personal problems are affecting my relationship so now Im trying to push him away so I can heal first and then be ready.
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Stooge303c
I was just shut down by someone who I tried open up to about being terrified of intimacy. She made me feel so alien and strange for being afraid of getting close. Watching this video and reading all of the comments has made me feel much better about myself. I literally fit all five signs The last time somebody tried to hug me I was so uncomfortable I was physically twitching. Thank you all for sharing your stories, I feel not alone.
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I was just shut down by someone who I tried open up to about being terrified of intimacy. She made me feel so alien and strange for being afraid of getting close. Watching this video and reading all of the comments has made me feel much better about myself. I literally fit all five signs The last time somebody tried to hug me I was so uncomfortable I was physically twitching. Thank you all for sharing your stories, I feel not alone.
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Lost
What is so frustrating for me is that the person I love is very much afraid of intimacy, yet they refuse to acknowledge it even when showing them in which way they are. They just brush it off as you are trying to conform them to the way you want them to be, as there is nothing wrong with themselves. Or how they are totally happy with the distance and as such nothing is wrong with them. It makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes.
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What is so frustrating for me is that the person I love is very much afraid of intimacy, yet they refuse to acknowledge it even when showing them in which way they are. They just brush it off as you are trying to conform them to the way you want them to be, as there is nothing wrong with themselves. Or how they are totally happy with the distance and as such nothing is wrong with them. It makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes.
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Jacob
I can let people get close to me, but I cant bring myself to get close to others physically. Its weird because I can let people get close, but if theyre in front of me looking at me trying to get closer, I want to back up. Like if they are trying to look close at me it makes me uncomfortable.
I want to fix this so Im journaling and trying to open up a little to people. Still dont know if its doing anything.
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I can let people get close to me, but I cant bring myself to get close to others physically. Its weird because I can let people get close, but if theyre in front of me looking at me trying to get closer, I want to back up. Like if they are trying to look close at me it makes me uncomfortable.
I want to fix this so Im journaling and trying to open up a little to people. Still dont know if its doing anything.
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Thies
I can definitely identify with withdrawal from physical contact.
I remember that ever since I was a little kid I hated to hold hands with others etc.
But what I hated the most were hugs.
I didn't like getting hugged by my parents or friends or any other person in my life.
I still don't like getting hugged to this day, since it makes me feel somewhat trapped and helpless.
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I can definitely identify with withdrawal from physical contact.
I remember that ever since I was a little kid I hated to hold hands with others etc.
But what I hated the most were hugs.
I didn't like getting hugged by my parents or friends or any other person in my life.
I still don't like getting hugged to this day, since it makes me feel somewhat trapped and helpless.
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Mel
1: 29 I really do want to have physical contact with someone at school, since i mostly see her at school and don't really get too have meet-ups whenever im going out with friends. Its just that it might be a bit awkward approaching her physically with the friends around and because of public display of affection. Or somthin like that, idk. Great video btw, i gotta say.
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1: 29 I really do want to have physical contact with someone at school, since i mostly see her at school and don't really get too have meet-ups whenever im going out with friends. Its just that it might be a bit awkward approaching her physically with the friends around and because of public display of affection. Or somthin like that, idk. Great video btw, i gotta say.
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Axel
I actually had no idea. All of these resonate with me and I always thought that's just because of my personality or other stuff. But I have been questioning myself lately if that's really the case. And now I came across this video and BAM! This was really helpful, thank you! Now I have a direction of what I should be working on.
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I actually had no idea. All of these resonate with me and I always thought that's just because of my personality or other stuff. But I have been questioning myself lately if that's really the case. And now I came across this video and BAM! This was really helpful, thank you! Now I have a direction of what I should be working on.
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Nimarta
My top love languages are physical touch and quality time but whenever someone touches me I get reminded of getting sa'd and also I rmb that my parents hate being touched. Also for quality time, I'm scared in case they get tired and abandon me. My love languages are the reason why I isolate myself
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My top love languages are physical touch and quality time but whenever someone touches me I get reminded of getting sa'd and also I rmb that my parents hate being touched. Also for quality time, I'm scared in case they get tired and abandon me. My love languages are the reason why I isolate myself
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Stormy
I want friends and a significant other, I just dont know how to feel when its actually happening I feel worried sometimes, scared that bad things might happen, I might lose them, Im/their not trying enough. Things like that. They only like me for a few things and not myself
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I want friends and a significant other, I just dont know how to feel when its actually happening I feel worried sometimes, scared that bad things might happen, I might lose them, Im/their not trying enough. Things like that. They only like me for a few things and not myself
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Reecetrex
Ive never been in one, not planning to be in one anytime soon (until high school or college, Im in 7th, and I dont like anybody yet, which is also probably vice versa because of my impulsiveness and irritablility. Wait this was uploaded on my birthday! :)
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Ive never been in one, not planning to be in one anytime soon (until high school or college, Im in 7th, and I dont like anybody yet, which is also probably vice versa because of my impulsiveness and irritablility. Wait this was uploaded on my birthday! :)
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kat
1. I can relate since im shy towards the person but im just only half shy
2. Yes i like the person but i don't wanna get to attached since they may think its weird
3. Not like family i can get close to friends familys but not just crush's
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1. I can relate since im shy towards the person but im just only half shy
2. Yes i like the person but i don't wanna get to attached since they may think its weird
3. Not like family i can get close to friends familys but not just crush's
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Lance
Ya I struggle with most of them but im meant to die alone my road is a lonely one forever until the sea of death takes me or I eventually do so by my own hands just depends on the situation im 23 and I already want to just be buried already
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Ya I struggle with most of them but im meant to die alone my road is a lonely one forever until the sea of death takes me or I eventually do so by my own hands just depends on the situation im 23 and I already want to just be buried already
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Bespectacled
I thought I couldn't possibly be, there's nothing I want more after all. But I knew deep down and this video helped me face the fact that, it's not some paradox to be afraid of the thing you want most.
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I thought I couldn't possibly be, there's nothing I want more after all. But I knew deep down and this video helped me face the fact that, it's not some paradox to be afraid of the thing you want most.
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Greg[EPIC]
I DO NOT LIKE THESE PEOPLE LIKE THE ONES IN THIS VIDEO, BUUUUT they are the most trustworthy and make the longest lasting friendships (if you can break the ice to gain their trust, of course.
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I DO NOT LIKE THESE PEOPLE LIKE THE ONES IN THIS VIDEO, BUUUUT they are the most trustworthy and make the longest lasting friendships (if you can break the ice to gain their trust, of course.
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moxogeni
Watching the parts of these videos that have to do with past and having relationships before ever having had one feels like watching a review of a movie you haven't seen yet.
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Watching the parts of these videos that have to do with past and having relationships before ever having had one feels like watching a review of a movie you haven't seen yet.
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Steely
How to make psychology digestible to monkeys and how to make it G A R B A G E too. Don't ever listen to any advice on the net or anywhere really, you're alone, keep pushing
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How to make psychology digestible to monkeys and how to make it G A R B A G E too. Don't ever listen to any advice on the net or anywhere really, you're alone, keep pushing
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1Maklak
I know a relationship with me would not work, so I simply make it easy for us to go separate ways. There is an element of fear to it, but mostly it's just pain avoidance.
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I know a relationship with me would not work, so I simply make it easy for us to go separate ways. There is an element of fear to it, but mostly it's just pain avoidance.
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zeyphrBW
4 out of the 5 hit hard. I have a therapist does that count as someone like a mental provider cause I think this is something I want to bring up in one of my sessions
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4 out of the 5 hit hard. I have a therapist does that count as someone like a mental provider cause I think this is something I want to bring up in one of my sessions
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Midgardian
Sorry but even tho the content is really good while i listen to it. I COULDN'T TAKE IT THAT SERIOUS WHEN I SAW THE GENSHIN IMPACT CHARACTERS XD SORRY ASDFGHJKL
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Sorry but even tho the content is really good while i listen to it. I COULDN'T TAKE IT THAT SERIOUS WHEN I SAW THE GENSHIN IMPACT CHARACTERS XD SORRY ASDFGHJKL
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